<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Coming Up For Air by Emmi Moon (emmihighmoon)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28013559">Coming Up For Air</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmihighmoon/pseuds/Emmi%20Moon'>Emmi Moon (emmihighmoon)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Actor RPF, Supernatural, Supernatural RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Anal Sex, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Cockles, Cunnilingus, Divorce, Edgeplay, F/F, F/M, Multi, NSFW, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Post-Divorce, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship(s), Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:01:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>225,652</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28013559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmihighmoon/pseuds/Emmi%20Moon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie Maeson is a director of a non-profit organization. Working closely with the cast of Supernatural to collaborate a network of events, promoting great causes and fundraising. When she's shown a different world of wonder, she suddenly becomes conscious of how lost and unhappy she is in the corporate world. No longer willing to run from her past, Charlie manages to let her guard down. With that, she unintentionally falls in love and begins a relationship with Jensen Ackles, the last person she ever thought possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Danneel Ackles/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Jensen Ackles/Danneel Ackles, Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles/Original Female Character(s), Misha Collins/Danneel Ackles, Misha Collins/Danneel Harris, Misha Collins/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s)/Danneel harris, Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. And So, It Goes.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi,<br/>Welcome &amp; thank you for reading.<br/>I wanted to add that this is literally the first time I have written anything. I wanted to start here... I had this idea and I needed to get it out of my head. This is a complete work of fiction. I took some aspects of Danneel and Jensen's life but not everything. The story may paint certain people in certain lights, however I love each any every one of these actors. its not a depiction of my idea of them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday August 19, 2019 6:10 AM- Tacoma, Washington </p><p>Charlie sat at the edge of a dock as her feet grazed the water below. She looked up towards the sun, slowly rising off the coast. She pulled her headphones from her ears to hear the relaxing sounds of nature. Breathing and taking in the peaceful moment. Charlie was startled as her phone began to ring in her pocket.</p><p>"Jesus, it's not even 6:15," she says, then sees the caller. </p><p>"Richard? Good Morning. Is everything okay?" she says with concern.</p><p>Richard was Charlie's boss's boss. He only contacted her about important matters. Charlie was the Assistant Director of Marketing at MAP (Millennial Activism Platform), Inc, a now booming non-profit organization. Being contacted at 6:15AM on a Sunday definitely made her anxiety spike.</p><p>"Good Morning Charlotte. I apologize for contacting you so early on a Sunday. However, Derrick has been MIA. I have a time-sensitive matter. And to add insult to injury, I will be unreachable for two days after tomorrow's board meeting."</p><p>"Oh, not a problem Richard. I have not spoken to Derrick since Friday afternoon. As far as I know, he planned on being at the meeting on Monday. How can I help?"</p><p>"I may have promised a friend some collaboration on a project of his. And with the changes within the organization, I may have left the task on the back burner. Fortunately for me, he is quite understanding. The project is with Random Act's, a non-profit organization based out in LA. An old buddy of mine, Misha Collins, is trying to throw a fundraising event to promote a few different causes. Chelsea was supposed to corroborate and plan things on our end. However, I completely forgot about the whole thing. Chelsea is no longer with us, and I got an email on Friday confirming details because the event is coming up."</p><p>"Wow. Okay… Yeah. The changes within the company have definitely taken a toll on all of us. What you need me to do, I will do my best. I'll have to reach out to Mr. Collins and go from there. Did you say meetings?"</p><p>"Yes, this Wednesday. I need you to skip the meeting on Monday. Have your assistant attend. In the meantime, I need you to travel to them. The 1st meeting is in Vancouver. I already have someone working on an itinerary for you. The other thing is, the show Misha works on brings a lot of attention and involvement to these events. Their fans communicate, share, and it creates a good turnout. It's a good way to reach potential clients. We already have a partnership with Random Acts. He wants to utilize the current popularity and relevance of the show. I told him you are the best for marketing and outreach ideas. So, try and work something out with him if you can. He has a lot more details. I will definitely reach out to you on Wednesday or Thursday when I'm accessible."</p><p>Charlie holds the phone to her ear with unease. "Uhh, sir? I have a multitude of projects and tasks currently underway. I appreciate the opportunity, but I don't want to fall back on my other duties. I have meetings all week with other directors. Fiscal year planning, and-"</p><p>"Listen, I know you are busy. We see the amazing work you are doing. And I've had plenty of conversations with the other members about your work ethic. Especially learning that you were still going to school. My lord child. How do you do it?!" he paused for a split second.</p><p>Charlie wondered if she actually had to answer the question. "Fear of failure."</p><p>"Fear is a magnificent motivator. Ms. Maeson, I know what is on your plate. I have no doubts that you will make this work. This is, by all means, a request. However, you were the first person I thought of. You work hard and effectively communicate. You're outstanding at forming collaboration and creativity with your team. " He said matter-of-factly.</p><p>Charlie's mouth fell open to provide a rebuttal... she had nothing. "Thank you," was all she could say.</p><p>She paused, finally taking a second to look up and see the beautiful sun coming over the horizon. "I will stay posted for the pertinent information regarding the meeting with Mr. Collins. I will also reach out to your assistant to work out the details while you are gone."</p><p>"Yes! Wonderful! You are the absolute best. What would I do without you? I'll have Sophia schedule your reservations as soon as possible. I'll make sure to let the flock know you will be away on relevant business."</p><p>"Sounds good. I'll head into the office sometime today to get a head start on the week. If your assistant can schedule the first flight out tomorrow, that would be great. I will also reach out to Mr. Collin's when I get there and—"</p><p>"MISHA. He will insist. He's also an actor on the show."</p><p>"Oh, ha. Of course. Mee-sha." She pronounces the name to let it flow better. "I'll have to do some research before I meet him."</p><p>"Please do. Misha's a wonderful guy and very down to earth. I am about to go to a meeting. East coast time and all, UGH.</p><p><strong><em>On a Sunday?</em></strong> Charlie thought.</p><p>"When I leave here, I'll be heading back to Seattle for tomorrow's meeting. Then I'll be taking two personal days until Wednesday. Keep Sophia informed of all details. I will have her disseminate the information to Derrick and the other directors. I do have to go now, Charlotte. Please enjoy the remainder of your weekend. I am sorry to have disturbed it. Also, enjoy yourself down there."</p><p>Charlie lets out a small laugh at his last statement. "Will do. You, as well. I will keep you posted."</p><p>"OKAY…Okay." He said to the person rushing him off the phone. "And thank you again, Charlotte." He hangs up as voices get louder in the background.</p><p>Charlie stared at the sky now. She missed the sunrise and cursed to herself because she had to run really fast back home.</p><p>She ran home with determination, getting to her complex in record time. She waves 'good morning' to the concierge as she passes. Winded and out of breath, she takes what final energy she has and bolts up the 6 flights of stairs. She gets to her floor and enters the passcode. Walking into the foyer, she leaves her shoes in front of the door. On the opposite side of the big open set up, her roommate Maggie sat at one of the two big desks.</p><p>"You are a far better woman than I am. What time did you get up this morning to run? 5?" The redhead says in a sarcastic playful tone.</p><p>"Close. 5:30."</p><p>Charlie walks over to the island that divides the kitchen from the rest of the room. "Not many of us can sit on our fine little asses all day and still hold the perfect body. But uhh, way to rub it in. Good morning to you too, sunshine."</p><p>"Did you at least catch a sunrise this time?"</p><p>"Ehh, kind of. I was sitting and waiting at the dock. The moment it was coming up, Richard called with some urgent matter he needs me to handle."</p><p>"Again? What are you that man's personal assistant?" she says and walks over to the kitchen island across from Charlie.</p><p>"Think I might have a birthday present in it for you, though. Maybe. Kind of. Please don't hate me. I love you." Maggie looks at Charlie, confused.</p><p>"My birthday is in two weeks. What could Richard be having you do that would positively affect me in any way?"</p><p>"Vancouver."</p><p>Maggie's eyes shot open. "WHAT?!"</p><p>"I know you've been needing some inspiration, also a reason to get out of the house. Being between jobs... My original thought was a road trip to Cali through Oregon or something scenic."</p><p>"Okay. You got me hooked. What's the punchline?"</p><p>"He's making me go to Vancouver all week."</p><p>"This week?"</p><p>"Yeah. I need to be there by 9 AM Wednesday. So, really Tuesday night. And I have to meet this dude, for this thing. I made the mistake of googling him. But that's so beside the point. One full week in Vancouver. I will be working some, if not most of the time, but I've been there before you haven't. It's beautiful and different. I think you'll like it."</p><p>Maggie's face starts to light up, realizing what Charlie was saying. "Wait, you're bringing me to Vancouver for a week!?" she ran to the other side of the island to hug Charlie. Then pulls away, grossed out. "Oh, damn girl. You sweaty."</p><p>"I know. I fucking sprinted here. I have to head to the office for a few hours now."</p><p>"But, no like seriously? Vancouver?!"</p><p>"Yup, kind of glad I made you get your passport in March," Charlie said with a smile. She grabbed her coffee off the counter and began to sip it. "I did, however, tell Richard I'll need to be on a flight first thing tomorrow. Soooo, I would start packing if I were you. And it's Vancouver in August, so maybe pack warm."</p><p>"Ahhhh. You know the ways to my heart."</p><p>"Speaking of your heart. Tell your boyfriend to answer the fucking phone. Richard wasn't too happy he couldn't get a hold of him all weekend."</p><p>"Ohh, yeah. Derricks with his family. They're doing manly bonding or whatever the hell that means. I'll let him know."</p><p>"I'm gonna get a shower and head into the office. I Gotta plan out my week. Richard said something about me being back at the office by Monday. I might try to work that out for a little longer. Anyway. PACK. GET READY!" she finally said, as she backed away and disappeared into the hallway out of Maggie's view.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie walked into her disserted office building. Getting to her office, she threw her coat and purse on the chair.  Charlie logged onto her laptop and answered all the emails missed from Friday. She turned on her Spotify classic rock station and began to work. Walking around her office from here to there. Putting things away and pulling things out. She worked at the pile of forms and packets on her desk and finally cleared it of all debris. Charlie spent the better part of an hour learning all she could about Misha Collins and Supernatural. After a few hours, she finally got up from her desk, stuffing papers and her laptop into her work luggage. She grabbed what she needed for the trip and headed out.</p><p>Charlie received the flight confirmation for Monday morning. She booked Maggie the same flight and upgraded the suite booked for her. Getting a double room suite for Maggie as a gift.</p><p>Maggie, half-asleep, walked into the hotel. She saw one peek of the view, overlooking the coast. She lost it. "Oh my god! Charlie! Look at this!" she said, walking over to the patio deck. "Holy shit! This is going to be beautiful at night."</p><p>Maggie runs over, thanking Charlie with hugs. She lets go and goes to explore the rest of the suite.</p><p>"You are more than welcome, love." Charlie dropped her work stuff off at the desk area facing the view. "I do have to get caught up on calls and emails. Go explore. Have fun. I should be done later in the day. Maybe around 5-6. After we can head out and see what British Columbia has to offer."</p><p>Maggie left, excited to explore.</p><p>Charlie quickly got to work. She went through all the information for the RA (Random Acts) project proposal. She found contact information for RA and reached out to them over an email. 20 minutes later, her phone rang with an unsaved Washington number. She immediately answers.</p><p>"Hello, this is Charlie."</p><p>"Hello, Good Morning. Charlie?... This is Misha...Collins. I was given your contactnformation. I'm calling in regards to Random Acts. Is now a good time to talk? I wanted to get you before I got to set."</p><p>"Hi, yes. Absolutely. Perfect time Mr. Collins. It's great to finally speak with you."</p><p>"Misha." He corrected with a laugh. "Oh, great. Thank you so much for helping Rich out. He told me what's been going on over there, and it's a completely understandable mishap. So, I also appreciate your flexibility on this. I know it was short notice for you."</p><p>Charlie laughs. "Honestly, no worries. I cannot complain when I get to work in front of this beautiful view. So, thank you, MISHA." She adds an emphasis on his name.</p><p>In the background, Charlie heard a slightly deep and intriguing laugh followed by 'Let's go, Mish, Bob is callin' crew early.'</p><p>"Okay, I'll be right there…" Misha said before bringing his attention back to Charlie on the phone. "I am so sorry, Charlie. Apparently, I still happened to choose a terrible time to call. For me, anyway."</p><p>Charlie can hear Misha walking, as his breathing steadily goes in and out. She continues to faintly hear two gentlemen having a conversation in his vicinity.</p><p>"Listen, is there any way we can meet before Wednesday. Since it sounds like you're already in Vancouver. This whole event process is starting to crumble at the seams. A few of the main sponsors have backed out. That's kind of why Rich felt obligated to help out."</p><p>"Ahhh. Jeez, sorry about that. If you need me before Wednesday, just let me know. I can make myself available. Not a problem."</p><p>"Great, would it be too much to ask to meet me on set today?" Charlie could hear the apprehension in his voice. "I can get you a pass. I know Rich mentioned the need for more information about Supernatural. With the finale nearing and the publicity, this could bring in a lot of potential clients. I'm heading into set now. Should be there well into the night. But I wanted to discuss things a little better before everyone gets together on Wednesday."</p><p>"Yeah, sure. Whatever you need. But uhh question?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Where is set?" She said with a light tone.</p><p>Misha laughed as he found the way she said it to be adorable. "The CMP Park, you know, the Warner Brothers Studio set. Where are you staying?"</p><p>"The Fairmont Pacific Rim."</p><p>"Oh, okay. You are about a 30-minute ride away. That's if you're okay with that." He responded questionably.</p><p>"Yes. No problem. Just let me get my rental business handled, and I can meet you there. Is there a specific time or?"</p><p>"Is 1 o'clock a good time for you?"</p><p>Charlie heard another intriguing laugh and smiled into the phone. "Perfect. I will see you then."</p><p>Charlie heard a slightly deep voice ask, 'Is that the chick from MAP?'</p><p>"Great. 1 it is."</p><p>"Wait. When I get there. Where do I go? I'd imagine it's a big place."</p><p>"Oh, right. You know what. I will text you the address. When you go through the gates, they should have your name. Ask to be escorted to where I am. They will help you park and direct you to me. When you get in here, I might still be on set. Feel free to hide among the crew and check us out. It might provide some inspiration. If you have any questions, just shot me a text. I can respond to those from time to time." He said with a laugh. "Okay. Safe travels. I will see you then. Can't wait. Bye-bye."</p><p>Charlie stared at the screen as it hung up. <strong><em>Oh, Lord, what have I gotten myself into.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie showered, blow-dried her hair straight, dressed comfortable but professional, and was out the door. She secured her rental and had Maggie drop her off at the studio. She let Maggie have her freedom with the rental, as Charlie worked. When they got to the gate, they were allowed through. She told Maggie she would contact her if she needed to be picked up.</p><p>"Excuse me. If?"</p><p>"Sorry. When... Mom!"</p><p>"Just be careful, please. Don't talk to too many strangers."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Woah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie gets out of the car. She waves bye to Maggie and waits at the front entrance. A personal assistant, Agnes, walked Charlie to the production building where Misha was located. As Charlie entered, she is immediately blown away by the site. She'd seen backstages, but this was different. She was not expecting this grand building with hanging walls and hovering compartments. The paths and halls were like a labyrinth to her. She started walking faster, keeping up with the fast-paced assistant, not wanting to get lost.</p><p>Misha, Jensen, and David, the set dec, stood together, discussing the last shot. Charlie walked in after Agnes, looking around at the 20 or so people gathered. Immediately she gained Jensen's attention as they stood closest, facing the door. The sight of her made him lose his train of thought. He tuned out of the conversation, fixated on the breathtaking brunette that just entered the sound stage. <strong><em>She must be Charlotte.</em></strong></p><p>As Charlie walked in, she noticed a tall, dark-haired gentleman looking at her. <strong><em>Jansen, right? Or is it Jensen? He's also on the show. </em></strong>Charlie thought to herself.</p><p>Their eyes meet for a moment, both unable to look away. Charlie had to force her eyes away from his, feeling bashful. Agnes turns to Charlie and points her in the direction of Misha. He was standing in a tan jacket, his back to her facing Jensen.</p><p>Jensen was facing Charlie and Agnes, seeing them point to Misha. Their eyes meet again. Her stomach sank, and she immediately became aware of the goosebumps forming under her coat and cardigan. She wanted to look around and make sure he was actually staring at her. But she couldn't look away. Charlie gave the man a smile, and he turns his eyes away for a second. He says something to Misha, making him turn around. When Misha sees Charlie, he smiles.</p><p>Both Misha and Jensen were looking over at Charlie. Suddenly, she became self-conscious. Wanting to fix her hair but refraining. <strong><em>Yup, what the fuck did I get myself into?</em></strong></p><p>Charlie looks down at her watch as an excuse to look away for a second. She shacks it off and smiles as Misha walks toward her. She extended her right hand to him, and he accepted it firmly, but gently. He continued the gesture with a side peck on her cheek.</p><p>With her cheek to Misha, Charlie looks forward, becoming hyper-aware of Jensen now walking towards them. Their eyes meet for a second as Misha steps away. Feeling her stomach stir again, she tries to ignore it, turning her focus back to Misha.</p><p>"You must, Charlotte. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. Rich has said such great things. I'm kind of excited you're here."</p><p>"Charlie." She corrects with a smile.</p><p>"Charlie. Right. Sorry."</p><p>Jensen moves to stand next to Misha, looking at him like—<strong><em>you gonna introduce us?</em></strong></p><p>"Oh, good. Charlotte. Sorry, Charlie." Misha corrects himself. "This is Jensen, another talent on the show. Along with Jared, who is somewhere around here. Jensen and Jared will be helping as much as they can through this process. I was going to have them join in on our meetings."</p><p>As Misha speaks, both Charlie and Jensen look at each other. <strong><em>What is it about this dude</em></strong> She thought. It was as if Charlie couldn't look away. She was compelled and intrigued by him. <em>Why?</em></p><p>"How's it going? Nice to meet you." Jensen said with a smile<strong>. <em>Oh, my lord.</em></strong> "Misha gave us a run-down on everything. Thank you. We're very happy you are lending a hand," he adds, extends to hand to her.</p><p>Charlie extends hers as well. The moment their hands met, she felt the jolt of electrons firing from her hand to her brain, then right to the void between her legs. Suddenly that void became very unbearable. <strong><em>Is this really happening?</em></strong></p><p>Charlie looked away and over at Misha. "From what I've read. I should feel lucky to be working with the amazing Misha Collins, and-" Charlie shifts her gaze from Misha's beautiful blues to Jensen's evergreens, " Jensen Ackles. Jensen, right?"</p><p>Jensen gives her a crooked smile. He nods, confirming the pronunciation.</p><p>"I do hope I get to meet Jared. His name was in my briefing, and I read up on him as well. He advocates for an amazing cause. Especially given his status. Very commendable." Charlie says with a smile, as Misha's eyes light up.</p><p>As Misha had Charlie's attention, his voice faded into the background.  Jensen takes a second to relish in the silhouette of Charlie's body as she takes her coat off. The moment she walked into the room, everything about her caught his attention. Her long straight brown hair, falling over her shoulders and chest. The minimal amount of makeup showing her natural features. Those jeans that hugged her hips and thighs so perfectly. The way she fluidly walked over, making eye contact with him. She was beautiful. She was all he could think about at that moment.</p><p>"What about you, Jensen?" Misha said, bring Jensen back to the conversation.</p><p>Jensen finally realizes he'd been looking at Charlie this whole time. She noticed and wore a knowing smile on her face. Her cheeks became a little bit warmer with color.</p><p>"Sorry, lost in thought," he said as he regained himself and focused his attention back on Misha. "What was that?"</p><p>"We're going to have lunch. Also, quickly form a plan to get ready for Wednesday. I know you said you had some stuff to work out. We can always set up another meeting later. Would that be possible, Charlie?" Misha asked with concern. Both men, looking intently at her. <em>WOAH, </em>she thought. Feeling the effects of having them both look at her.</p><p>"Yes.  Whatever I can do to help."</p><p>"It's okay. I'll just be there on Wednesday. I can have my input there."</p><p>"Well, you're done at 5. Right? Jared and I are done 9. I can show her what I have. You guys can collaborate on what we were talking about."</p><p>Misha extends his arm out, making Charlie loop her arm around his. She giggles at the gesture, following Misha. Charlie turned her head back to Jensen, looking at him one more time. As she looked back at him, she felt a sense of sadness she couldn't place. <strong><em>Bye, you.</em></strong></p><p>Misha brought Charlie back to their discussions. "So, I want to additionally apologize for the runaround. The original lead on this was… Well, she's no longer involved in the planning process.  A few different sponsors backed out. Unrelated. So, now Jensen and Jared are trying to do what they can to get some sponsorships. From what Rich has told me, you've been a godsend in that department. And you have artist friends, I hear. You have no idea how much that helps." Charlie just smiles as she listens to him ramble. "You know, in a normal circumstance, I would have canceled the event and just said, fuck it. We can do something else. But we didn't want to let the fans down."</p><p>"It's okay. It feels good to be on foreign soil and away from the stress that is our organization right now. There are a lot of changes. A lot of responsibilities are being placed on the directors and…" she looks over at him as he listens. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to..."</p><p>"Oh no, Charlie. Don't apologize. Please. Rich has been telling me."</p><p>"I just want to help people. I went into this wanting to help people. And somewhere along the lines, it became …something else. Limitations on what my artists and team can do. Who we can or cannot work with. I feel like sometimes, it more about revenue."</p><p>"But it's a non-profit?" Misha says, confused.</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>As she follows him out of the building and around like 6 other buildings. They eventually make it to an office.</p><p>"I'm going to have my P.A with us soon. Oh, that reminds me. Have you eaten? I was going to have her grab something for you too?"</p><p>And suddenly, Charlie became aware of how hungry she was. "Famished. Thank you." She says, holding her stomach.</p><p>For the rest of the time, they discussed possible ideas for the event. They even discussed ideas for Jensen. Charlie eventually learned the head person was Jensen's wife, well soon to be ex-wife. She stepped down as the lead over a month ago. Leaving Misha to scramble to get it all together. By the end of the two hours, Charlie became comfortable with Misha. This wasn't just another client she had to sway. He was kind and funny. It made the process delightfully pleasant.</p><p>3:30 had some so quickly. Misha had to head back to set. Charlie asked if she would stick around and get her thoughts in order before heading back to the city. She went through her notes and responded to emails.</p><p>Charlie heard a knock at the door. She looked up to find Jensen in a different set of clothes. He looked more casual. There was also a taller man trailing right behind him. <em>Jared,</em> she thought and smiled immediately.</p><p>"Hey. I remember you saying you wanted to meet Jared." Jensen said.</p><p>"Yes, thank you."</p><p>Charlie walks over to them. She extends her hand to Jared. He takes it and then brings her in for a warm hug. Charlie embraced Jared back. All the while, Jensen watches as she interacts with another one of his close friends. Some people don't like being hugged at first meet. After Jensen and Misha informed Jared about Charlie, he needed to get away from the set to meet her. The whole interaction warmed Jensen's mood and made him smile.</p><p>"It is so great to meet you, Charlie. Jensen and Misha, they've said a lot. They mentioned what you said about me. Thank you very much. I am so happy you agreed to help. I think this whole thing can be a good involvement for a lot of people."</p><p>"Thanks, Jared. It's awesome to meet you." She said with elation. "Please sit. Jensen, too. I'd love to pick both of your brains about whatever ideas you have before I leave."</p><p>Jared's face falls. "I wish I could. I need to get back to set. But I just wanted to run over here and meet you. Thank you. I will be at the meeting Wednesday. We can collaborate more then. I think Jensen's going to stay behind." He turns his focus to Jensen. "You're done for the day, right buddy?" he says with a humorous tone. Jensen looks over at him with a straight face.</p><p>"Yeah but, I'm not going to force her to listen to my crazy ideas. Wednesday is fine."</p><p>"No," Charlie responded, kind of defeated. "It's no trouble. My ride is on its way. Please tell me about your ideas."</p><p>"Alright, I'm gonna head on back. I will see you Wednesday, Charlie." Jared says. He pats Jensen on the back of his shoulder and disappears out the door.</p><p>"Misha told me you have an affinity for music, and you wanted to incorporate that into the event. What were you thinking?"</p><p>Jensen took a seat across from Charlie and the two just bounced ideas off each other. Neither of them, oblivious to the tension in the room. Both of them trying to understand where it came from. What is it about each other that made them feel like the table was too wide? Their discussions were interrupted by Charlie's phone ringing.</p><p>"Sorry, one second, it's my girlfriend," Charlie says, pressing answer. "Hey Mags, where are you?"</p><p>"Hey, I'm with your friend Misha on set! I've been here for a little, actually. When I got to the gate, I was going to call, but Misha already had someone escort me to set. He's a cool dude."</p><p>"Oh, okay. Just give me a little ill meet you there."</p><p>"Oh, no rush. Okay." Maggie hung up.</p><p> Charlie turned her attention back to Jensen. "Sorry about that. She's on set with Misha and Jared, apparently." She looked at her left wrist and noticed the time. "Jeez, it's almost 7 o clock! Didn't mean to take up so much of your time. I'm so sorry."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, confused. He laughs to himself.</p><p>"What?" she asks, smiling back at him.</p><p>"Well, I would be going home to an empty apartment or this. I choose the latter." He says, ending it with a crooked smile. "Besides, I think you helped out a bit. I'll talk to my buddies and see what we can think of before Wednesday."</p><p>"Awesome."</p><p>Charlie begins to gather her things. "If I could ask you for one thing. Could you show me where Misha is? Cause, I don't know even know how we got into the building." She says with a straight face making Jensen laugh, causing his laugh lines to become visible.</p><p>She wondered how much smiling this man had to do to produce such beautiful little imperfections. Then she found herself getting lost in his face. His long eyelashes and little luscious lips. <strong><em>SHIT. Back up. Stop there. Nope. Just nope, nope, nope. </em></strong></p><p>"Not a problem," Jensen said as he began watching her put her things away and bites at her lower lip<em>. <strong>What I would do to that lip</strong>., </em>he thought. "Whenever you are ready."</p><p>She walks over and grabs her coat. "Ready." She says as she walks towards the door.</p><p>Jensen following behind her. "Wait."</p><p>She stops abruptly, making Jensen's entire body walk right into her. She almost falls forward. Jensen grabbed her by the waist, pulling her directly into him before she completely lost her balance. He straightens them both out, and Charlie looks over at him with apologizing eyes.</p><p>"I forgot to turn off the lights. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"</p><p>She looked Jensen up and down, and he seemed fine. When she finally reached his eyes, they were a dark shade of green. The look prompted a tug inside Charlie that made her thighs squeeze together.</p><p>"No, Charlie. You're fine." He said as he extended his right arm out, touching the wall and turning off the lights. "They're automatic lights, by the way."</p><p>She continues to walk forward, realizing how empty and quiet the halls were. She stopped for a second to make Jensen lead, but he just stopped next to her and extended his arm out for her to take. She smiled at the simple gesture and walked with him.</p><p>"Soooo, who's Maggie?" Jensen asked like he was fishing for juicy gossip. So natural, as if they were friends for the longest.</p><p>"She's my artist friend… Best Friend, I guess," Charlie said as she looked down at the ground while they walked.</p><p>Jensen watched her as she answered him. Loving her shyness. He just met her and could already tell. The way it makes her cheeks turn a light shade of pink.</p><p>"Ah." He said, nodding his head in understanding. "See you said, girlfriend. And you know, sometimes…"</p><p>Charlie bumped his side playfully and laughed at his insinuation. "Probably doesn't help that I called her my girlfriend. It's just a natural thing that rolls off my tongue.  I feel too old to be calling her my best friend. Makes me feel like I'm in grade school. But yes, the two words are mutually exclusive."</p><p>"Understandable.  I saw the ring around your neck too. That threw me for a loop."</p><p>Charlie's face fell a bit. She automatically went to feel for the chain around her neck. Overcome by the memories it provoked. Jensen felt the shift and realized he should not have mentioned it. He watched Charlie grab at the ring. He assumed whoever that ring belonged to wasn't in the picture. He could tell, judging by her reaction, it was not in a good way.</p><p>As they walked under the stars, in between the buildings. Jensen, racking his brain on what to say. She hasn't said a word since the ring was brought up.</p><p>"I'm sorry about the… ring. I mean, I'm sorry I mentioned it. It's clearly a sensitive matter. I should not have said anything."</p><p>"No, you're fine. I know enough about you at this point." She looks at him and smiles. "Seems fair…He was my fiancé. He uh…" She contemplated whether or not to tell him. "He killed himself." Jensen's quickly turned his head to face her as she spoke. "We were engaged. We were...Content...Or, so I thought." Charlie finally came back from whatever memory she was reliving and looked up at Jensen. "I came home from class one day, walked into my apartment like any other time before, called for him. Just thought he wasn't home … until I went to go into the main bathroom…"</p><p>Jensen stopped walking and lightly turned her toward him. "Hey, you don't have to tell me.  I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry, Charlie. It's okay. You don't have to talk about it."</p><p>Jensen saw it in her eyes, how broken this made her. Not knowing what to do, he pulled her body into his. At that moment, Charlie, for the first time in a long time in another man's arms, felt okay. She rested her head on his chest, letting the emotions ride through her, as she had a million times before. There was never any stopping them. She needed to let them run their course.</p><p>"See, that's the thing, though. No one ever wanted to talk about it. Him. And in the beginning, I was grateful for it, you know. I appreciated it because I couldn't wrap my head around the concept. That he was gone. Every time It was mentioned, I'd…" She let go of his embrace and slowly moved back a fraction of a step. The two standing there, closer than two strangers should be. Jensen watches her every moment. "But it's been 5 years. And now I find that I regret it. Because I made it to where it feels like he never existed at all. And that just breaks my heart even more. I was supposed to be his rock. I was supposed to protect him from that, and I couldn't. He left this world thinking he was nothing, and it slowly became as if he never existed at all."</p><p>She suddenly realized she was saying this in front of Jensen. "Oh my god. I'm sorry. I have no idea why I am even telling you all of this. You must think… I'm irrational or something." She says as she turns away from him.</p><p>"No." He grabbed her wrist lightly, preventing her from walking away. "I'm honestly standing wondering how you got through that. Someone close to your heart did something unconceivable… irrational is not a word I would use. But thank you for letting me in. I understand a little bit more about you. That makes me feel really grateful that you're doing this with us. We need people like you, Charlie. People like Jared and Misha. You guys are few and far between. There are far too many people fighting for the right to love themselves. Sometimes, those who have dealt with it or lived through the repercussions have the best stories, advice, and guidance to give."</p><p>Jensen leaned in and pushed Charlie's hair behind her shoulder. "Don't ever be ashamed of that or feel you are anything less because you feel a loss. You have every right to feel it."</p><p>Charlie couldn't look away from him. No longer emotional but now captivated by this man. She could feel a single tear begin to roll down her cheek. She let it fall, assuming it would fall to the air as if it never existed. Jensen wiped the tear across her cheek. Charlie began to breathe deeply, getting lost in the moment until she felt her phone vibrating in her bag. Causing both to straighten up and realize they were still in between studio buildings, in the cold of the night.</p><p><strong><em>What the fuck am I doing?</em></strong> She thought. As she quickly worked to get her phone out of her pocket. Jensen slow began walking, looking around the lot for anyone else.</p><p>"Thank god, you stayed. How would I have gotten the hell out of here alone?" She said before answering the phone.</p><p>Jensen turned to her about to respond until Charlie answered the call. "Hey, sorry we lost track of time. But we're actually walking towards you now." She was listening to the other end and shaking her head. Jensen, just watching her. "Yeah, that sounds cool. If that's what you want to do." She turns over to look at Jensen. "Yeah. Yeah, we'll be there in like 5 minutes. Okay. okay, bye."</p><p>She looks up at Jensen. "We're going to Hoshian House? Apparently, Jared swears by it." She said, looking at her phone, confused. Jensen follows after he lets out a small chuckle.</p><p>"It's a sushi house, like 30 minutes away from here. We go, often, yes," he said as he looks down at his shoes. "I am partial to them, myself. If you are looking for a nightcap, good drinks, and down to earth people. It's a good spot to hit on your stay here. I'll try to remember to recommend a few places we've migrated towards over the years."</p><p>Charlie looks over at Jensen, noticing his demeanor change a bit. <strong><em>Did a do something? Oh right. I was balling my eyes out in front of him.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen and Charlie both kept walking in serene silence until they reached a giant open double door. They walked through the doors, and Charlie could hear where the set was by all the commotion. Charlie immediately noticed Maggie in all the bodies of people with red hair, standing out in the crowd. Maggie was standing behind a huge camera contraption. Charlie made a beeline towards her. Jensen trailed back a bit, walking towards Misha and Jared, who were talking amongst themselves.</p><p>"How's it going?" Jensen says as he walks up behind them.</p><p>"Oh hey," Misha responds, looking behind him for Charlie. "Did you run her off, Jensen?"</p><p>Jensen smiled and then gave Misha a straight but playful 'fuck you' face. "She's talking to her friend…" he looks over in her direction.</p><p>"How'd it go?" Jared asks.</p><p>"Good, she actually helped me through some of my thoughts. Just gotta reach out to everyone and to see what their thoughts are."</p><p>Jared senses a mood shift in Jensen. "You alright, man? I know you spoke with the lawyer this afternoon. Hope it wasn't too bad."</p><p>Jensen looks up at Jared. "Nah, it was…I'm good, man." Jared squinted his eyes at Jensen, knowing damn well he was not alright.</p><p>" Uh-hmm," Jared said, not wanting to push the matter.</p><p>On the other side of the room, Maggie is bursting at the seams, having been behind a director's chair to a major TV show. "They let me follow the DP around! Get a feel for angles. They told me what lighting is better for each of them. Misha even offered me a DP for the event your planning! Ahh!" she says, excited.</p><p>Charlie just smiles at her as she begins to jump up and down. She made Charlie follow like they were schoolgirls.</p><p>"Oh no. no. Heels. Heels... That's so awesome, Mags. I honestly was not even thinking of all of this. Crazy how things work out, huh."</p><p>"Yes!" Maggie takes a final look at the work she witnessed and turned to Charlie. "So, how was the whole planning thing? Any progress? I can actually ask now. I am a part of this thing! Oh-oh! And I met Jared Padalecki! Ahhh."</p><p>Charlie giggled at her friend. "Calm down, tiger. He's a married spud."</p><p>"God, I know. They all are, kinda. It's like being in a fucking sausage fest and not be able to taste the fucking sausages."</p><p>Charlie's closed her eyes in exasperation.  She immediately starts pushing Maggie towards the door. "Alright. I officially have to get you out of here."</p><p>"But…" Maggie objects, pointing at Jensen and Misha.</p><p>"Oh, look, there she is." Misha proclaims. "Charlie!"</p><p>Charlie and Maggie turn their attention back to the room. "Charlie! Maggie! Come here before you go." He motions for them to come to them. Charlie reluctantly follows, praying her friend does not embarrass her.  "Maggie, I would like you to meet our dear friend Jensen. Or better, Mr. Dean Winchester. He will also be assisting with the event."</p><p>"Hello. Heard so much. Also, a huge, HUGE fan." She puts too much emphasis on the huge and begins to bat her lashes at him.</p><p>Charlie rolls her eyes again at her friend. Jensen sees and tries to hold a smile. "Okay. That's about my cue. Gonna need to get her out of here. It was a pleasure. I look forward to Wednesday. Any questions.  Just give me a call. Anytime, doesn't matter." Charlie says, as she forcefully pushes Maggie in the direction, they came in. "Oh. If you don't have my number, Misha can give it to you. Have a wonderful night." She smiles and turns back around.</p><p>"Uhh, Charlie." Someone said from behind her<strong>. <em>Jensen, it was Jensen.</em></strong> She turns around with a big smile. "Exit to the parking lot is that way." Jensen points behind them, to the sign signaling for parking and front office.</p><p>"Right. Duh. Thank you." She gives them a big smile and begins walking herself and Maggie in the new direction.</p><p>"Bye, guys! Bye Jaaarrred!" Maggie says, with a laugh. A little too obnoxiously for Charlie's taste.</p><p>"Nope. Nope. Get … just go."</p><p>As Charlie and Maggie reach the exit and walk out the door, Misha turns to Jensen and Jared. "Well, this should be interesting, don't you think?" and both Jared and Jensen give him a 'what the fuck' stare.</p><p>"Yup, whatever you say, buddy," Jared says as he pats his shoulder.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm calling it. Good night fellas." Jensen says as he begins to walk in the direction that the girls just walked out of. Jared's already distracted by something new.</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Sure. Good Night. I'll be sure to send you Charlie's info." Misha says to Jensen with a wink.</p><p>"Bite me." Jensen retorts as he continues to walk away.</p><p>Outside, Charlie is grilling Maggie on the concept of professionalism. "Listen, I get you and Derrick are all lossy goosey or whatever the fuck that means. And yes, I am beyond happy that you are part of this project. But for the love of God, can you not insinuate sexual innuendos with the talent. At least not blatantly in their face! He's married."</p><p>"Oh, shut up. I saw the way Jensen looked at you. You two together alone for that long. How blatantly obvious can that be."</p><p>"Again, MARRIED."</p><p>"If you did your research, you would know that that man is a newly establish bachelor no thanks to-"</p><p>"Oh, god. Please stop. Just... That is none of my business. None of yours. Let the man have some respect." Charlie rebuttals as Maggie unlocked the doors to the rental, both ladies sliding right in. Maggie handed Charlie the car keys.</p><p>"Oh, okay. So, you're tellin' me. If Jensen were to offer you an afternoon delight, you would not partake in that?"</p><p>"No," Charlie responded, as she pulled out. "Why are we even talking about this? We both just met these guys like 5 hours ago. Besides, you have a fucking boyfriend. Not that I am necessarily against you cheating on him." Maggie threw Charlie a punch to her boob.</p><p>"Ow! DUDE!"</p><p>"Then don't say stupid shit."</p><p>Charlie turns her head for a second. "Stupid shit? I just had an, albeit, slightly professional gathering with clients. You're the one dropping hints."</p><p>"What happened when you were alone with him?" Maggie asked.</p><p>"What? Nothing. What do you mean?"</p><p>"I mean, when you came to me after spending all that time with him, you looked like you were upset. And you did that typical thing of yours where you plaster a smile on your face pretending you're alright. We're in a car now. You have nowhere to run. What happened when you were alone with Jensen?"</p><p>"Oh, God. Don't say it like that. You make it seem like he did something to me. Nothing, okay. He mentioned..." Charlie stopped herself from mentioning it again. "He asked about the ring."</p><p>"Oh." Maggie's entire attitude changed. "Did you…"</p><p>"Tell him?" she asked as she turned her head from the road and looked Maggie dead in her face for a second. "Did I tell the newly established divorcée, about my long-lost dead fiancé, who decided to kill himself three weeks before we were supposed to get married? Oh, and let me just add the little detail of my unborn child. Maggie, I can't look at another man without being reminded of my failure. Please do not plant things in my head. I don't need it right now. It's bad enough I'm being tossed around like a fucking rag doll by my job."</p><p>Maggie didn't say anything. She sat quietly, letting Charlie come down from her emotions. "I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't think Matt would ever come up… I'm sorry, Charlie. We can go home if you want. We don't have to go anywhere. I forgot my equipment anyway."</p><p>"What? No." Charlie changed her attitude. "I'm starving. I had a salad for lunch because I didn't want Misha to think I was a fat ass. We're going."</p><p>Charlie heard her phone chime a few times telling her she had text messages. "Can you check to see who it's from?" Maggie grabbed her phone out of her coat pocket and read the screen.</p><p>"It's Misha and two unknown numbers. LA area codes."</p><p>"Hmmm. It must be Jared and Jensen, okay. That's fine, it can wait. Just wanted to make sure."</p><p>"In all seriousness, thank you. It was awesome to be on set and see all that stuff up close. I was not expecting that while down here. I actually don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting that. But you have to let Matt go, Charlie. He was never, will never, and could never be your fault." Charlie gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to brace herself again. "I'm also just saying. You may not be paying attention to the men that walk in and out of your life, but I do. I saw the way Jensen looked at you. And now it makes sense why he seemed out of place when you guys came back from… wherever. Shit, you may even be a fucking rebound."</p><p>"Fuck you." She said disgustedly.</p><p>"What? There is nothing wrong with that. He is fine. Like a fine wine! Not particularly my type but… he is finally on the market, for the first time in like, I don't know, a decade at least. You have any idea what kinda shit that man has learned over the past 10 years?"</p><p>"With one woman."</p><p>"And?" Charlie rolled her eyes, already over the subject. "Listen, I get it. You're not a Hollywood person. You don't care about fashion or social media. Very against the status quo. You're my little bohemian princess. You've always been your own special person. But after Matt, you kind of curled up into this hole. You know, this little foxhole. Over the years, you've slowly gotten your grove back, but you need to take that extra little step. Maybe Jensen's lifestyle scares you..."</p><p>"Fuck him? Is that really what you're basically telling me right now? I just met the dude, and you're just outright telling me to fuck him?"</p><p>"I'm telling you fuck someone, Charlie. You're going to grow cobwebs up there."</p><p>"You do realize I've been with people, after Matt? I have had sex in the last 5 years. There are no cobwebs. I'm not some self-proclaimed nun."</p><p>"No, you're not. But by my estimations, it's been at least 7-8 months since you've had sex. And I mean… was it good?" <strong><em>It wasn't.</em></strong> But Charlie wasn't going to admit that. "So, you know. Take advantage of opportunities. I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't tell you to take the sweet ones as they come. Pun intended."</p><p>"Opportunity? Jensen is not interested in me! He's a freaking supermodel for the love of God."</p><p>"Was. He was a supermodel. And fuck that you're equally as gorgeous as him."</p><p>"Have you seen his wife?"</p><p>"Ahh. Ex-wife. And Yes. She is fucking beautiful."</p><p>"Yeah, I rest my case."</p><p>"Uhh no. You are equally as fucking beautiful. I mean, you have a few years of youth on your side too, so there's that. The only real difference is your just more reclusive, Charlie. You're timider."</p><p>"No," Charlie says, shaking her head in objection. "I'm not interested in just getting some celebrity's dick wet."</p><p>"Again, you are a far better woman than I am."</p><p>"Oh, dear Lord. We're almost to the restaurant. Can you save the conversation for never?" Charlie turned into the parking lot of the Hoshian House. Getting excited as she remembered Jensen mentioning this place was great. <strong><em>Fuck, now I'm thinking about Jensen!</em></strong></p><p>Charlie went forward into the parking lot and parked in the first decent looking parking spot. From the outside alone, she was excited to try the place. And she wondered what other little treats are going to work their way into their Canadian getaway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. This Is Different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie woke the next morning to the sound of her alarm. As she turned it off, she began to remember where she was. She looked over at the panoramic view of foggy Vancouver, feeling relaxed. She laid there and thought about the strain her job has taken on her lately. Waking up to this view made it worth it. Charlie set her alarm for 7AM, wanting an early start to her day. She also wanted to make sure to squeeze a lunch outing in today. She didn't want to be cooped up in the hotel.</p><p>Faintly smelling the aroma of the coffee, Charlie grabbed her phone from the charger and headed out the double doors. She found Maggie sitting on her laptop at the kitchen bar.</p><p>"You're up early," Charlie says as she smiles at her.</p><p>"Yeah, I told our new boss I'd send him my portfolio. Wanted to make some tweaks to it." She gave Charlie a knowing wink, making Charlie roll her eyes.</p><p>"New boss?" Charlie asked as she placed her cell phone on down. Maggie shrugs.</p><p>She tied her hair into a messy bun and grabbed a coffee cup.  Waiting for the coffee, she grabbed her phone and checked her messages. She found texts from Misha containing contact information for the boys and his schedule for the next week. He also added her to a couple group chats with Maggie and few other coordinators from other states. She grabbed her cup of coffee and walked over to the couch. Snuggling up under a throw blanket and going through her messages. She got a text from Jared regarding a new branding idea for his 'Always Keep Fighting' campaign. She forwarded him contact information her graphic designer from her LA office, adding a side note about how awesome she is. Jensen texted her, letting her know a few of his music contacts have agreed to participate and sponsor.</p><p>Sifting through her emails, she quickly gets her daily updates and responses out of the way. She moved her laptop to the balcony, completing some zoom calls. She had a few video meetings, getting updates on accounts.</p><p>Charlie spent some time listening and counseling members of her team about work issues. She made sure to empathize and listened while taking notes. Something had to be done, so she let them know she would follow-up my Monday. <strong><em>Yay, more to do.</em></strong></p><p>Due to changes within the organization, she likes to make sure they feel appreciated. Charlie was the person her team went to with problems inside the company and sometimes out. She is sweet, fair, and lenient but will also put you in your place. She's praised for her ability to handle her team, but she just treats them like human beings. When someone reaches out to her about changing their schedule for a week because their kid is sick, she allows it. Other higher-ups were against it. They believed it made room for favoring. Charlie didn't care. She makes the accommodations but also makes damn sure they did their work after.</p><p>Charlie managed over 35 employees across 16 states. All, collaborating on at least 300 accounts at once. Her team has become a cornerstone of their organization. This is because of their ability to effectively and innovatively supply and demand. The people on her team have worked with her since she's worked with the company. They are comfortable with Charlie. They respect and stay for her.</p><p>Charlie holds a bachelor's in clinical psychology from NYU. After getting the job at MAP, she got a certification in Marketing and Communications.  Which allowed her to hold her current position as marketing director. Eventually she went back to school to get her master's in counseling psychology from Washington State University. Charlie finally finished school and graduated this past May. Her hope is to become certified as a Counseling Psychologist and open a nonprofit of her own. With work and life, that goal has taken some time.</p><p>She finally got around to more emails from Misha and the RA team. They updated her regarding Wednesday's meeting and the other scheduled meetings. She found an email from Danneel providing an overview of everything completed up until she resigned. The email also provided contact information, should Charlie need clarification in the future. The rest of the morning, Charlie sat through Zoom meetings and conference calls.</p><p>Lunchtime nearing, Charlie and Maggie found themselves searching for a place to eat. Charlie immediately thought about texting Jensen for a suggestion, but she didn't want to be too forward. <strong><em>Be a fucking professional, Charlie!</em></strong></p><p>Maggie being of no help, insisted Charlie had to choose because she chose the night before. Charlie sifted through 4.5 to 5-star rated restaurants and narrowed it down to about 4 of them. <strong><em>Fuck it.</em></strong> Even against her better judgment, Charlie opened her text messages, finding Jensen's thread. She used her inability to decide as an excuse to speak to him.</p><p>Charlie: Good afternoon, Jensen. Any lunch places you'd suggest? I'm stuck between like 4, and I couldn't get enough of the Hoshian sushi last night.</p><p>Once she sent the text, she had to put her phone down. She busied herself, hoping Jensen responds. She worked on updating her work calendar for her team, letting them when she's working and what she was doing.</p><p>1o minutes later, Charlie heard her phone chime. Jensen's name flashes across her screen. She had to ignore the small bit of excitement she felt when she saw his text.</p><p>Jensen: Hey, you. Glad you enjoyed the sushi, definitely a favorite of mine. My suggestions would be based on where you are located. What's your hotel?</p><p>Charlie: The Fairmont Pacific Rim.</p><p>Jensen: On the harbor?</p><p><strong><em>Huh?</em></strong> She looks outside. <strong><em>Obviously, yes. We're in front of the harbor.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie: Yes, lol.</p><p>It took Jensen a few minutes to respond again.</p><p>Jensen: Well. Depending on your mood, there is Café Medina, which is a brunch/breakfast place. A lot to choose from. And there is Ask for Luigi, which is Italian.</p><p>Charlie: Those are restaurant names?</p><p>Jensen: Yes. Haha</p><p>Charlie: I'm going to help my indecisive self and say distance here. So, Medina's it is.</p><p>Jensen: Good choice…Kinda, lol.  Let me know how you like it? I miss that place; it's been a while.</p><p>Charlie: For sure. Thanks again.</p><p>She thought of something else to say and typed out another text.</p><p>Charlie: I know you're on location, but if anything comes up, feel free to reach out. Super excited about the music aspect! Thank you for sharing your ideas.</p><p>She presses send and gets up, heading back into the suite.</p><p>She returns to find Maggie disappeared to her room. "Mags, found a place for lunch," Charlie said, as she walks in into the room. Her shoulders fall at the sight of Maggie.</p><p>She sat on the chair in front of the tall window, evidently upset and crying. "What the fuck? What's wrong, love!?" Charlie asked as she ran over to her, falling to her knees, looking Maggie over.</p><p>She had her phone in her hand and was just looking out the window. "I think Derrick is cheating on me."</p><p>Charlie was immediately taken back, and anger began to fill her mind. She wanted to tell Maggie she knew he was a dick and she deserved better. She held her tongue and swallowed her input for the moment. Charlie moved forward, holding her best friend in her arms.</p><p>"What? Why? I mean …" she didn't actually know what to say.</p><p>"He blew me off yesterday. Apparently got some shit at work." <strong><em>Yeah, that sounds about right.</em></strong> "He was away all weekend with Stanley and Bradley, but he didn't respond to me. Not once. Your girlfriend hops on a plane and goes to another country.  You literally have no regard for her welfare. He's been like this for a few weeks now. I've been trying to just keep it to myself, you know. Not be a jealous, possessive girlfriend. I wanted to support him because I know everything at work has been getting crazy. But, " she says, pulling out of the embrace. "We haven't had sex in weeks. Three, to be exact. THREE WEEKS CHARLIE."</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Oh, boy. </em> </strong>
</p><p>Maggie threw her head between her knees and began to sob. “I think I knew a while ago we were over. When I started faking it… but he hasn't even wanted it lately. He tried one-night last week, but it was forced and offbeat, and he was different. I made up some bullshit, and he left. Then texts me on Thursday to tell me he's going on an outing with his dad and brother." Charlie sat back on her knees, letting her get it all out. "It was like we were fine. You know? I know you guys have a batter with one another because of off work, but WE were okay. Then he spent a weekend with his parents a few months back, and he just came back… different. Maybe his bitch of a mother got into his head… again! You've been dealing with work, and I know he hasn't been helping much. So, I didn't want to give you another reason to hate him. Or, make me feel like my suspicions were right."</p><p>"Awe, love. I wish you would have said something. I'm here. Always. Please don't suffer in silence for my benefit." Charlie says as she gets closer and puts her chin on Maggie's shoulder.</p><p>"I know. And it wasn't like that. It was just… I didn't want to admit it. I needed to just live in the lie until it was unavoidable… And last night." She tucks her head back into her knees.</p><p>"What happened last night?"</p><p>Maggie handed her the phone and let Charlie look at the text messages. The first few messages made Charlie confused.</p><p>Derrick: I wish we could back to this weekend. I would give anything not to be here right now. I already miss you.</p><p>Maggie: Huh? We weren't together this weekend?</p><p>It became apparent that he texted the wrong person. Charlie read the final texts, making her heart sink.</p><p>Derrick: It was a mistake, Maggie. I'm sorry.</p><p>Derrick: I'm so sorry.</p><p>Charlie looks up at Maggie, who was waiting for her to let it all sink in.</p><p>"He never answers when I call him. It rang with the first attempts, but they eventually started going straight to voicemail. He’s ignoring me." She looked outside the window. "I've lost him, Charlie." And Maggie begins crying again.</p><p>Charlie honestly didn't even know what to say. <strong><em>He can't even have the decency to end it or be honest with her. Or a man about it.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie went forward. Pulling her friend out of her little ball of crying and held her, making Maggie wrap her arms around Charlie's neck and just sobbed into her shoulder.</p><p>"I am so sorry, Mags. I don't know what to say." she just held her tighter. "I'm here, love. Whatever you need."</p><p>Sometime later, Maggie removed herself from Charlie's arms and wiped her face. She took in a deep breath, putting a smile on and shaking it off. "Fuck him!" she said as she steps over a surprised Charlie. Maggie starts walking to her luggage. "You said lunch? —where?"</p><p>Charlie knew Maggie was trying to change the subject, so she allowed it. For the time being. "Jensen suggested Café Medina, it's about 10 minutes away. Right on the harbor. Figured we could check it out. If that's okay with you."</p><p>Maggie gives Charlie a genuine wicked smile. "Jensen suggested?" she asked, and Charlie immediately regretted letting that little detail slip.</p><p>"Oh, shush. Just get dressed, woman." She said as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.</p><p><strong><em>I'm going to kick his ass.</em></strong> Was all Charlie could think as she retrieved her phone and called a number. "Soph! Hey. Sorry to bother you. I know you probably have a lot going on. I just wanted to ask you for a favor." Charlie spoke into her phone as she started walking out of the suite to get some privacy. Once she was off the phone, she saw a text from Jensen.</p><p> Jensen: Yeah, still thinking of some stuff. I'll keep that in mind, though. Thanks.</p><p>She smiled at the simple response and got ready to leave.</p><p>Charlie and Maggie headed to the restaurant. Charlie in the drivers seat.</p><p>"So, you and Jensen just casually talk over the phone now or?" Maggie asks.</p><p>Charlie, AGAIN, stuck within the confines of the car and unable to ignore her friend's acquisition. "No." Charlie hesitated, not knowing what to say. “I just text him to ask.”</p><p>"Oh. You texted him? Interesting. You dirty little girl."</p><p>Charlie stomped on the break, intentionally making Maggie jolt forward in her seatbelt as they approached a stoplight. "You know what." she said but couldn't actually finish the thought. " I don't know, Maggie. Okay?" She begins to drive again, leaving the hotel parking intersection and making a turn towards the restaurant. "He's divorced, and I'm...well, I'm me."</p><p>"So, you are attracted to Jensen? And you do want on that."</p><p><strong><em>She can never be subtle, can she,</em></strong> Charlie thought. "I'm not saying it like that. Actually, I'm not saying that at all. But being here and meeting him. The way he was yesterday. It was…" she trailed off.</p><p>"What did he do?"</p><p><strong> <em>Right, I never mentioned it.</em></strong> "Jensen was just… Different. I don't know how to put it into words. I felt different with him. He went out of his way to make sure I met Jared. Spent the better part of two hours in an office with me and never once made me feel like an object or potential notch on his belt."</p><p>"But yesterday," Maggie began to argue.</p><p>"I know what I said yesterday. Bite me. I fibbed a bit." Charlie spits. Still trying to process everything in her head. "It was just...the energy in that room was intense," she finished, turning into the parking lot of the shopping center. She looked over at Maggie. "We're here."</p><p>"NO! Don't you are drop some major shit like that and try to change the subject. I'm dying here!"</p><p>Charlie chuckled a little. "I am not trying to change the subject. We can finish it inside. Let me just park."</p><p>She parked, and they made their way into the restaurant. They were seated immediately. Charlie could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket, but she ignored it. She was with her friend, and she needed her undivided attention for the next hour. <strong><em>Everyone else can wait.</em></strong> They looked over the menu and gave their orders to the waitress.</p><p>"So, the energy in the room?" Maggie asked.</p><p>"Gotta love your persistence." Charlie said, and Maggie smiled back. "I don't know. I just felt him watch me. He just made me nervous. But a good nervous. You know. Like..."</p><p>"Meeting someone new and feeling vulnerable but intrigued. All you want to do is be in their general vicinity and breathe in their air?"</p><p>Charlie looked at her with a perplexed look. "No." she chuckled. <strong><em>But yeah. Pretty much!</em></strong></p><p>"Um-hm," Maggie said, with her eyes squinted.</p><p>"Fine, yes," Charlie admits. "What do you want me to say? I want him. Fine. I want him. But when I mentioned Matt. I feel like I fucked up. I shouldn't have said anything. But Misha told me about his wife, and he just seemed disheartened himself." She began to remember how Jensen held her, trying to comfort her. <strong><em>A stranger.</em></strong> "He consoled me when I was crying. I began to see him in a different light. I didn't feel the need to make up some excuse to remove myself from him or divert his advances. I savored it, move into it. I felt warm beside him. I don't know what that means or why and that…"</p><p>"Scares you."</p><p>Charlie finally looked at Maggie again. "I guess. Yeah."</p><p>"Can't possibly get why you would be scared to let your heart out there again," Maggie said with a tone and an underlining meaning to her words.</p><p>Charlie caught on. "You always deserved better, Mags. As much as you'll sit in your feelings and live this out, deep down you've always known that. I'm not going to sit here and repeat the shit I've said over the years. You already know. But I think you've made decisions over the years regarding him that showed me you were never fully invested. You had a foot out waiting for the day. Now is that day."</p><p>"What makes you think I wasn't fully invested. I loved him. Love him," she corrects.</p><p>"Ha. One, past tense already?" Charlie made a pointed face. "Two. You never left Mags. You've dated this dude for three years. THREE YEARS, and you never moved out." Maggie was about to object. "And before you sit here and use me as an excuse. Which I know is what you tell everyone. You stayed for me. To make sure I was okay. You ALSO stayed because you didn't want to move in with him. I never said anything, but I knew. I just swept it under the rug and never mentioned it. So, you know what. I'm going to email Richard and inform him that we will be staying an additional week. I'll say it’s for work reasons. You need time away from Derrick. You're involved in a new commission. That's something to distract you.  Besides, I am at my wit's end with my job. and well… I also want to make Derrick's life a living hell. Something goes wrong while I’m gone. Not my problem."</p><p>"But wouldn't Richard have an issue with you being gone?"</p><p>"Richard, no. He knows I handle my shit. But he also knows I do a lot of Derrick's duties. I told you. I planned on doing something for your birthday. Just with work and going back and forth from New York to LA and back in Seattle. I need a break at some point. I'm just taking advantage of job perks in the process. I'm not going too insane. I'll use some PTO and pay my own expenses to balance it out. When I speak with Richard later in the week, I'll let him know. But I'm not letting Derrick in on my business or my plans. I played peace for you. If I had to pinpoint a major agitator at work, Mr. Derrick Ryan is definitely number one."</p><p>"I'm sorry, Charlie," was all Maggie could say. She grabbed her coffee, taking a sip.</p><p>"You didn't ask me to kiss his ass. I did it because it was just more convenient in terms of avoiding drama. He woulda made it a thing. I'd rather just not."</p><p>Maggie shook her head in agreement. "So, I guess this means I'm done with him?" she looked at Charlie, who just shrugged and chuckled to her herself for a second.</p><p>"You're asking me? I haven't been in a relationship for the better part of 5 years."</p><p>"I don't want to lose him."</p><p>"Sweetheart, you've lost him already. You lost him back when you had to convince yourself you were the problem. You have to let go of the notion this is any way to be in a relationship. Maybe somewhere down the line, he'll realize his mistake. Hopefully, he'll be all the better for it. Right now, you have to be honest with him. You're not scared of losing him. You're scared of facing yourself without him. And trust me, I get it. But that fear was there before Derrick, and it'll be there well after. You need to face yourself. You need to let him go. "</p><p>Maggie's lips turn into a small crooked smile. "You need to let him go."</p><p>Charlie lost her brave front quickly and looked down at the table. "That's different, and you know it." She said, sadness evident in her posture and tone. "For you, it's an opportunity to say goodbye and mask a wound. You can even have hope that fate will bring him back, in better circumstances, as a better man." She looked up at Maggie. “I'll never have closure. I'll always need to ask him why? … Tell him I loved him with all my heart. That I understand. That I'm not mad. That I really fucking miss him and that I forgive him. I know I need to move on. And all the time's I tried with other men…" Charlie rolled her eyes and threw her head back. "Oh my god. Please don't get me started."</p><p>"In fairness, Bob from Olympia? He was… okay."</p><p>"Rob." Charlie corrected; annoyed Maggie insisted on calling him Bob like he was an old man. "And he's a sweetheart. Terrible in bed, but he was a sweetheart."</p><p>"With no sense of humor."</p><p>"Yeah, that got me. I didn't know how to be myself around him." Charlie stared off, remembering that time.</p><p>"Then you went on for what a year or so until…"</p><p>"Gabby," Charlie said as she began to blush. "Please don't remind me."</p><p>Maggie giggled at the memories. "I mean, grant it. What happens in Sedona stays in Sedona but…"</p><p>"Can it, woman. You and Beth, Jesus." Charlie says through clenched teeth.</p><p>"You had fun that weekend. Mishap aside."</p><p>"Up until the last part. Yeah. God, after he told me… I was so grateful I remembered to make him use a condom. Please stop reminding me of that weekend. It fucking traumatized me. Haven't slept with anyone since."</p><p>"Yes, I know. You need to get laid. Those 6AM runs and yoga stretches are not going to ease the stress and tension your body is constantly under. Speaking of which… Jensen?" Charlie throws herself back into the seat and begins to look everywhere but at her friend. "Fuck the whole he's a hot actor, who may or may not have the hots for you. He's of an age we can only dream of."</p><p>"He's only 8 years older."</p><p>"I love that you know how old he is. And I know! So, he's an older man but not too old." Charlie rolls her eyes again. "He seems like a decent good guy. He has manners. I know you said you were comfortable with him. He's obviously taken a liking to you. Why not see where it goes. Even if it is nothing but a story we talk about in two years."</p><p>"See, here's the thing. He's like really hot."</p><p>"Yes, I knew it. You looove him."</p><p>"Oh, god," Charlie said in exasperation. "The men of my past come to me. I've never had to... try. I never wanted to<em>.</em> I don't know how to talk to him. And when I have a little wind of confidence, I do something stupid. Then I just repel back into my shell again."</p><p>"Yeah, shy Charlie is a problem sometimes."</p><p>"Bite me."</p><p>"Oh! We'll do drinks," she said with an evil smile. "Oh yeah." She pulls out her phone and begins to type.</p><p>"Wait. Wait, no. Please don't text … Who are you gonna text?"<em> <strong>I should have kept my mouth shut.</strong></em></p><p>"No one," Maggie said, just as the waitress pull up with their meals.</p><p>"Maggie, please don't conspire with Misha on some bar hopping night out. I am so not in the mood to drink right now."</p><p>"No, sweetheart. You need to drink right now. And frankly, so do I."</p><p>Charlie let out a heavy sighed and began to pick at her food as Maggie giggled away. She needed a distraction. She went into her phone, finding 33 text messages. Misha included her in a group chat with everyone participating in and attending the meeting tomorrow. The thread acted as a means of communication for everyone apart of the planning. In the group chat, Misha invited the gang to a bar on the harbor tomorrow night. <strong><em>That was really fast.</em></strong> Apparently, some cast members recently returned from their hiatuses, so everyone was finally in the area. Going through the thread, Charlie saw a response from Jensen.</p><p>Jensen: You had me at BAR. I'll be there. </p><p>Charlie found his quick response funny.</p><p>The girls finished their meals, took a walk around the harbor shops, and headed back to the hotel. After they got back, they both worked away on their laptops. Coming and going from their respective rooms with meetings and calls, trying not to disturb the other. The workday finally came to an end, and Charlie closed her laptop. She took the time to check her phone and saw a text from Jensen. Again, she became aware of the slight bite of excitement her body felt when she saw the text.</p><p>Jensen: How'd you like Medina's? Hope they were good to you.</p><p>Charlie: They were fantastic. Definitely going there again. Thank you so much for recommending them. The inside was beautiful, and the service was great.</p><p>Jensen: That has pretty much been my experience going there. Good People.</p><p>Jensen: You ladies heading out with us tomorrow night?</p><p>Charlie: Yeahhh</p><p>Jensen: You sound so excited.</p><p>Charlie: I'm not a big crowd person. I don't know if you've noticed this but I'm a bit shy at times.</p><p>Jensen: Nope. Didn't notice at all.</p><p>Charlie: Oh, cool. I thought it was blatantly obvious. Good to know I've become stealthy with it.</p><p>Jensen: Lol. It's endearing.</p><p>Charlie: Thanks, Lol. I'm excited to meet everyone tomorrow, though. Just big social events and alcohol aren't really my forte.</p><p>Jensen: Nah, everyone's laid back. I'm sure you've already noticed. You'll be fine. I'll be there, so I'll catch you tomorrow night.</p><p>Charlie: Awesome. Have a good night. See you at the meeting.</p><p>Jensen: Have a good night Charlie.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the night, the girls went shopping and just drove around. They had dinner at a super fancy steak house, and Charlie drank a little wine. They rolled into the hotel around Midnight, tired, and ready for bed. Charlie beelined to her room, saying goodnight to Maggie as she walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Can't Fight This Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie woke the next morning to her alarm. She felt her spirit lifted as she remembered it was Wednesday. She pretended to ignore what that meant and headed into the shower before she started her day. She blow-dried her hair straight, letting it fall and naturally frame her face.  Needing confidence today, she dressed in a fit floral pink and white blazer paired with light skinny jeans. She finished the look by adding nude pumps and her little jewelry pieces. She added some mascara and lip balm. Took one final look at the mirror, doing circles to see every angle. Charlie lets out a huge breath seeing herself. <strong><em>This is as good as it's going to get.</em></strong></p><p>"Good Morning," Charlie says to Maggie, coming out of the room.</p><p>"Wow. Good Morning, Ms. Maeson. What have you done with my friend Charlie?"</p><p>Charlie stops in her tracks. "Is it too much? I just wanted to actually care today."</p><p>"No!" Maggie said, and shacks her head. "You look awesome. Good choice, girl. Mad respect."</p><p>"Yeah. I'm gonna change," Charlie moves to turn around.</p><p>"No. Seriously, don't change. I like the blazer, and the jeans are form-fitting. The floral is a nice touch with your skin. Your brown hair down past your boobs creates an illusion which adds a nice touch. Little to no makeup. We both know those cheeks of yours will naturally add the blush. You don't look… too much. You look fucking stunning. I'd totally fuck you."</p><p>Charlie chuckles and shakes her head. "Always in the gutter, that head of yours. Thanks for the fashion assessment, Ms. Meadows. Right back at cha," Charlie says with a wink as she pulls the refrigerator open to grab a cup of yogurt.</p><p>"Are we heading there now or closer to 10?"</p><p>"Figured we can leave and head there now. Get something to eat before actually heading into the meeting. Not sure how long it's supposed to last. I told Misha I would order catering before I get there. A lot of them are coming in from other obligations. Probably won't have the time to grab lunch,” Charlie said, as she sat next to Maggie at the counter.</p><p>She went through her phone, sending a text to Misha, asking him what foods would be appropriate. With the information, Charlie and Maggie were off for their big day. They had breakfast at a quiet little place near the meeting point. Charlie made her orders and provided the catering company the address and time. They drove to the meeting and found that it was a huge property with a house. There were already cars in the driveway and signs directing the traffic behind the house. As they got to the door, they were immediately greeted by Misha's assistant Olivia. She directed them towards the bottom floor of the house, which was set up with seating. Both ladies saw Misha standing over on the opposite end, on his laptop. They began to walk straight to him.</p><p>"Good morning, Misha," Maggie said as she got there before Charlie, putting her stuff on the seat next to him. "Is this seat taken?"</p><p>Misha looked up, seeing Maggie. "It's free for you."</p><p>He looks around, about to ask where Charlie was until he turned his head and saw her. She was trailing behind, looking around at the setup.  "Oh," Misha muttered to himself as he saw. He took in her attire for a second, enticed. He shook it off. "Good Morning Charlotte. Glad you can make it."</p><p>Charlie turned her head and smiled at him. "Good Morning Misha. Sorry, just checking out the setup. Is this where you stay while here in Vancouver?"</p><p>"Yup, this is my little home away from home. I can show you around if you'd like."</p><p>"Cool. Yeah. It's certainly an upgrade to the city view. I paid attention to the drive here. There has to be an awesome view out back."</p><p> Misha smiled big again. "Come with me,” he said, preventing her from pulling off her coat. He guided her through double doors leading to the back yard.</p><p>When he opened the doors, he revealed the most serene and unadulterated view of nature.</p><p>"Holy shit," Charlie says, taking in the view with a smile. "This is beautiful."</p><p>"Yeah, it's something."</p><p>"You live in Washington too, right?" Charlie asks.</p><p>"Yup, Snohomish County near Everett. Are you coming to Moonie's tonight? Most of the people coming are from the show. They either live in British Colombia, or they are back because filming just began. Jared, Jensen, and I usually get to Vancouver before the rest of the gang. It'll feel good to have everyone together again. Blowing off some steam before the filming really takes way."</p><p>"Yup. We plan on being there."</p><p>They walked back to the open basement and found a few others have arrived. Charlie goes around, trying to introduce herself. When she walks over to sit down, Jensen walks through the double doors. She spots him but keeps her focus, heading toward the table. He begins walking around, talking to everyone. Jared showed up a little bit later. He waved his arms in the air with a 'hey', making a beeline to Misha. Jensen sees him heading in Misha's direction, finally spotting Charlie. She was talking to Olivia and Misha in the front of the room. As he spots her, she gets up and begins and grabs something from behind the table. He got a better look at her outfit.<em> <strong>DAMN.</strong></em></p><p>"Sorry, Billy. I gotta go talk to Misha. I'll catch up with you after the meeting."</p><p>"No worries, man. I'll be at Moonie's later."</p><p>"Oh yeah, cool. I'll find you," Jensen said, before patting Billy’s back and walking off.</p><p>Jensen made his way to their table and took the seat open between Jared and Charlie, with her back to him. "Hey Mish, I didn't realize we were getting this much of a crowd," he said, gaining Charlie's attention. She was pleasantly surprised to find him there. She didn't hear him sit down.</p><p>"I know, right. Maybe this whole thing will turn out great," Misha said.</p><p>Charlie pushed the chair back, allowing Misha and Jensen to talk for a second. She listened to Olivia and Maggie continue their conversation. Misha was called to the other side of his chair, pulling him away from Jensen.</p><p>Maggie and Olivia got up and walked out the double doors presumably to get the catering, leaving Charlie alone with Jensen. The realization made her nervous, and she instinctively scooted forward in her seat and crossed her legs. She looked over at Jensen. He was looking down at the table, reading the material left for him.</p><p>"Hey, Jensen. Long time no see," she says with a laugh. Making fun of what everyone else was saying to him. Especially since it doesn't apply to her. They only just met.</p><p>Jensen looked up and smiled, nodding his head, getting the joke. "I'm pretty good, actually. How you doin'?"</p><p>"Pretty good." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "Are your music buddies here or?"</p><p>"Yeah. There is Louden Swain. Rob Benedict's band they're here. Richard Speight has his little sidekicks. Briana is a phenomenal artist and singer. She's willing to play. Lisa. Ruth. Steve wasn't able to make it. Still working things out with him. He’s gonna be busy these upcoming months. If anything, I'll just solo."</p><p>"Solo, as in sing?"</p><p>"Yeah. I can hit a note or two here and there."</p><p>"Wow. You're just a triple threat, aren't you?" Charlie says and playfully punches his shoulder. "Okay, Ackles,” she says, making a play at the nickname everyone calls him. “So, you two are in band or?"</p><p>“Yeah, something like that. It’s just me and him. We’re working on something together. But he’s a solo artist as well. He lives in Texas and preforms out there. What about you. Any special talents?"</p><p>"Eh, I have a few."</p><p>"Like?” Jensen asks with a charming smile. <strong><em>God, you are beautiful.</em></strong></p><p>As Charlie thought, her cheeks blushed at the few things that came to mind. <strong><em>Gymnastics, but I can't say that.</em></strong> Jensen’s mouth formed into a smile. He knew her mind went somewhere embarrassing by the shade of her cheeks.</p><p>"I can play the violin. Well, I used to play the violin." <strong><em>Why did I just tell him that?</em></strong></p><p>"Really?" Jensen says, surprised. "I have to see that."</p><p>"Got a violin?"</p><p>"Anything other instruments?"</p><p>"Piano. Guitar. That's it," she laughs nervously. "My dad taught me to read music before I knew how to read through a book. I was originally an art major before I changed gears."</p><p>"Now who's a triple threat," Jensen says, getting closer and bumping her shoulder. “How old were you?”</p><p>“Four.”</p><p>Jensen’s eyes went round. “Wow. So, what'd you end up going for?"</p><p>"Psychology."</p><p>"But you're a marketing director? You have art friends and collaborate on art-based things."</p><p>"You know, life is funny. Art is my passion. Not my career." She replied simply.</p><p>Jensen thought about that for a second. "You should play at one of the events."</p><p>Charlie laughs. "I would clear the place. I haven't played in a long time. Well, haven't played enough. I don't play the way I used to."</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Reasons,” she says with a shrug.</p><p>"But you play?"</p><p>Charlie nods, "I still have my instruments. I tune them from time to time."</p><p>Maggie was about to call over to Charlie, wanting to ask her something before Misha began talking. She looked over to see Charlie and Jensen close in conversation. She felt excited for her friend. Charlie was being coy and flirtatious. Jensen was talking, causing Charlie to throw her head back and laugh. She looked carefree.</p><p>"Nevermind," Maggie said as she turned back to Olivia. "I'll ask her later. She's a little occupied."</p><p>Olivia looked over, letting out a small giggle at the sight of them. "Oh, they are falling hard."</p><p>Misha overheard Olivia, following their line of sight. He sees Jensen laughing and looking lighthearted.</p><p>As the meeting began, Charlie wanted to get up in front of everyone and introduce herself.</p><p>"Hi everyone," Everyone in the room says 'hi' back. "I just wanted to introduce myself for those I missed earlier and couldn't meet face to face. My name is Charlie Maeson. My role here is to assist all of you. Help take what you do best and make it better. I wanted to thank everyone for being here. Thank you, Misha, for giving us this opportunity. I've done my research and learned a lot about what this group does. You guys are awesome. To become a household name and use that recognition to do good is inspiring. I will do my best to help you guys and Random Acts. My phone is always on. It’s also free, company supplied, so feel free. Do not hesitate to give me a call or shoot me an email. I'll let Misha take it away. Thank you." Charlie finishes, waving them off.</p><p>"Isn't she awesome?" Misha asks.</p><p>Charlie blushes, saying thank you and giving a thumbs up to make him start talking. Jensen bumps Charlie with his shoulder, making her turn to him. He nods his head in agreement with what Misha said. Charlie looked over to Jared, who was giving her thumbs up as well. Making her smile. <strong><em>He is so goofy.</em></strong></p><p>The rest of the meeting went smoothly. Misha mostly spoke. Charlie and the others chimed in from time to time. Eventually allowing time for open discussion.</p><p>The meeting ended around 3:30, a bunch of people began to leave. Charlie decided to finish out her workday there since it was only an hour. With people still downstairs, she hid in Misha's upstairs office to complete a few tasks on her laptop. She got a few phone calls from Derrick regarding work and some not regarding work. Charlie updated Sophia on the progress of the event for Richard. Scheduling a meeting with him in the morning.</p><p>When she was finished, she left the office and descended the stairs. She stopped when she saw Jensen standing in the living room, on the phone. He was arguing with someone.</p><p>"What exactly do you want from me, Dee? I have done my best to be amicable here. I cannot do what you are asking of me!" He listened to the other side of the call. "You cheated on me. Remember? Why the fuck does that mean I see my daughter less. I don't care if you have maternal rights. She is my daughter too. I agreed to your bullshit for JJ! If you think I'm going to let you strip my fucking rights away and kiss your ass. You’re are ass-backward."</p><p>Jensen took the phone from his ear when he saw Charlie. She was trying to walk by to get to the basement. "I thought you left," Jensen said, covering the phone speaker. Charlie looked over, knowing she'd been spotted.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I was in Misha's office.  I can just give you space, so sorry." She said as she turned back around and began to walk away again.</p><p>"Wait, Charlie." He stops her and puts a finger up for her to wait. "Dee, like I said. I can't do this right now. You're just going to have to talk to Larry." Jensen listened to the other end before ending his call. He gave Charlie a small smile.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I was just trying to go downstairs. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."</p><p>"You don't have to apologize. It's okay," he said, taking a seat on one of the couches. "It's not like you didn't already know I was going through a divorce. Everyone knows. There's really no escaping it."</p><p>Charlie turned to him. "Not to pry but, are you okay?"</p><p>Jensen made a small chuckle at that question. "You want the lie or the truth?"</p><p>"The truth?"</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"Ah, yes. Classic suppression. Always a good choice." She said as she took a seat on the love seat across from him, crossing her legs.</p><p>"What would you like me to say, Dr. Maeson?"</p><p>Charlie shrugged and ignored his name play. "Maybe, and I'm just spitballing here, not say you're fine when you're clearly not fine,” she said with a knowing smile.</p><p>He kept eye contact with her. Letting out a small laugh. "And an alternative would be?"</p><p>"You got me there," she said regretfully. "However, I wouldn't expect you to confide in me. So, there's that. "</p><p>Jensen's head turned to the side. He looked at her perplexed. "Why not?"</p><p>Charlie looked away, feeling the weight of his stare. "Because I'm, for lack of a better term, a stranger. I can't expect you to talk about your daughter or personal life to someone like me."</p><p>"You confided in me?"</p><p>Charlie looked back at him, analyzing his face. "I did," she shrugged.</p><p>"And I've been racking my brain ever since trying to understand why?"</p><p>"I told you why."</p><p>"Did you?"</p><p>She never left Jensen's gaze. "Yes."</p><p>Jensen finally looked away. "Hmm." He hummed, looking at his phone again. He fell silent.</p><p>"Misha told me about the divorce," Charlie finally said. "Not to throw him under the table. He meant well. He was just explaining things to me, and … she became a topic of discussion."</p><p>"And?... What did he say?" Charlie became uncomfortable as if she was betraying Misha. Jensen could tell. "He told me he told you. I'm not going to get mad at Misha. I'm sure he meant well."</p><p>She finally looked down and began to speak. "He said she backed out for personal reasons. Eventually, he admitted you guys were undergoing a divorce. It's taken a toll on you emotionally. Especially because of your daughter. You've turned to the event as a means of distraction, so to speak," she admitted.</p><p>"He's not wrong…. I haven't seen my daughter in over 6 weeks." Charlie could see the sadness in his eyes. "And now she's petitioning for supervised custody. I mean, I'll admit working between two countries isn't the best. Especially traveling as often as I do. I did what I needed to do. She knew that going in. She knew everything before we got married or pregnant. I never went more than two weeks without flying back home. It's not like she came home after a week of 14 hours late-night shifts, 6 days straight. Flying back on a red-eye to be with your family. To feel at home. Only to find your wife in bed, sleeping naked with a familiar face. I was hurt. That hurt came through as anger at first, and well … here we are."</p><p>"So that justifies her cruelly petitioning for supervised custody?”</p><p>She realized what just came out of her mouth and covered it. "I'm so sorry. I… I shouldn't have said that. I don't even know her."</p><p>"Why? You're right. She has spiteful intentions."</p><p>"Yeah, but still. It isn't right for me to say anything about someone I know nothing about. She may be giving you problems now, but I'm sure it wasn't always like that. And I'm sure you still love her as a person," she said. "So, I'm sorry."</p><p>Jensen just stared at Charlie. Feeling surprised by her depth. "Thank you," he said, and for some reason, he felt slightly better. "You stickin' around for later?"</p><p>"No, gonna head back and try to get some things done before tonight. What about you?"</p><p>"No, heading over to Jared’s. He's not going tonight. Gen and the kids are down before school starts on Monday." Jensen stands, gesturing for Charlie to follow. "Come on, they're probably looking for us."</p><p>Jensen lets Charlie go first, masking his inclinations as chivalry. As Charlie walked in front of him, Jensen watched the way her hips swayed, and her ass moved. <strong><em>Good God woman.</em></strong></p><p>As they got down to the bottom floor, Maggie and Olivia were consumed with something on the computer. Misha stood speaking with Jared. He watched with a smile as Charlie and Jensen entered the basement together. Jared saw Jensen entering and waved him over with his hand.</p><p>Jensen breezes past, touching Charlie's waste lightly to get by without pushing her. "Sorry, excuse me a second."</p><p>And he disappeared into the crowd. Misha came over to Charlie, expressing his excitement about the turnout and plans going forward. Jared and Jensen walked over to say bye before heading out. Jared came around, kissed Charlie on the cheek, and gave her a big hug.  Charlie reciprocated and said goodnight. Giving a telling stare to Jensen as Jared disappeared out the door.</p><p>"What's the plan for tonight, Mish. Just Moonies?"</p><p>"Yup, that's the plan. Are you leaving Charlie?"</p><p>"Yeah, just waiting for Maggie to finish up so we can head out."</p><p>"Oh, you can go without me. We're gonna be going at this for a while," Maggie added from behind them.</p><p>"Oh, okay. How are you gonna get back?"</p><p>"I can go with Olivia. I'll be fine. No worries." Olivia stuck up her thumb in confirmation, focused on the screen in front of her.</p><p>"Alright." Charlie grabbed her coat. She looked over at Misha and Jensen and saw they were having a quiet conversation. <strong><em>Um, Okay? You know what,</em> <em>I don't want to know.</em></strong></p><p>"Charlie, that reminds me. You mind dropping me off at the studio? Me and Sophia we there earlier, and I left my car."</p><p>Jensen rolled his eyes at Misha as he ends their silent conversation, evidently annoyed he ignored his silent request. "I'm out. See everyone later," Jensen says as he leaves. Giving Charlie one last glance before he walked out the double doors.</p><p>"Of course. Not a problem." Charlie finally responded to Misha's request. She follows Jensen with her eyes. <strong><em>Bye.</em></strong></p><p>When Jensen's out the door, she turns her gaze back to Misha. He gives her a pleasant but knowing smile. "Just give me a minute Charlie," Misha said, gathering his laptop.</p><p>"Yeah, sure. No problem. Um, what are they working on?" Charlie asks, pointing to Olivia and Maggie.</p><p>"Locations."</p><p>"Ohhh, okay. Nice."</p><p>Misha disappears somewhere for a few minutes, and Charlie watched Maggie and Olivia. She couldn't help but feel like the two were a bit flirtatious. Very close to one another, sharing the computer screen. <strong><em>Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. What am I gonna do with you?</em></strong></p><p>The two headed out a few minutes later. Charlie follows the directions to the studio from Misha’s house.</p><p>"Charlie, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Shot."</p><p>"Do you like your job?"</p><p>"That's a loaded question," she laughed and thought about how to respond. "I mean, I love what I do in the grand scheme of things. The details are probably not so fine-tuned."</p><p>"Hmm," Misha responded, looking out the window. "Can I ask you another question?" Charlie laughed a little at his tone.</p><p>"Go for it."</p><p>"What's going on with you and Jensen?"</p><p>Charlie's head moved to him with terror. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, I've seen the subtle little moments you guys had today and the other day. I've tried getting it out of him. Naturally, he's unforthcoming. I'm just… curious." He said the last word with more enthusiasm than Charlie would have preferred.</p><p>"I really need to stop driving and having conversations about Jensen." She said, speaking to herself out loud and shaking her head the whole time. "Did Maggie put you up to this?"</p><p>"No?" Misha smiled.</p><p>"So tonight? What is it?"</p><p>"Maggie said you guys needed an ice breaker with everyone." Charlie looked over at Misha. He was still waiting for a response to his question. She sighed. "You want the truth?"</p><p>"Please."</p><p>Charlie took a deep breath. "I have no idea. It's something, okay. It's… something. Something I can't define. Something neither of us has talked about. We just met two days ago. And by professional means," Misha nodded his head. "It's complicated."</p><p>"I know. There's the matter of him being in the middle of a divorce. I'm sure the concern of being a rebound would inhibit me."</p><p>"In so many words. Yes."</p><p>"Do you like him?"</p><p>"Are you probing me with questions for Jensen? You can divulge later. Or is it Maggie? She's sneaky like that," she said playfully.</p><p>"No. But thank you for the ideas. Anything juicy and worth divulging."</p><p>"No. At this point, Jensen knows everything he needs to know. Anything else would just be rambling."</p><p>"He's a good guy, you know?"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Just saying," Misha said with a shrug.</p><p>"Can I ask why?"</p><p>He thought about his answer for a second. "Because he's in a mental space I've never seen him in. I just want to see him happy."</p><p>"And I am supposed to magically wipe his woes away?"</p><p>"No, but I definitely think he sees something in you. What that is, I can't say. I have this sense that you're just too lost souls finding solace in one another."</p><p>What Misha says really weighs on Charlie. She never thought to see it from the point of mutually experienced loss. Charlie just watched the road, driving and staring off into space.</p><p>"Hey, you there," Misha says, bringing Charlie back to reality.</p><p>"Yeah, just …thinking about what you said…. I know, Misha. I don't know how to do this."</p><p>"Do what?</p><p>"Let someone in."</p><p>"You're letting me in. Right now. I've known you the exact same amount of time."</p><p>"That's different."</p><p>"How so?"</p><p>She lets out a laugh as if the answer was obvious. " I don't plan of opening myself up to you in a vulnerable way. To ignore and overcome years of unhealthy defense mechanisms and habits. I haven't done it in so long. With you, you're a friend. No offense. I mean, you're really good looking. I know you're married, so we can't … please don't make me clarify anymore." She blurted, stopping herself from rambling again.</p><p>"I get it. It's okay. You don't have to explain," Misha chuckles. "How long has it been?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"How long has it been since you let someone in?"</p><p>"Physically or emotionally?" She laughs.</p><p>Misha thought about that for a second and bites the inside of his mouth. "Both."</p><p>"A long time."</p><p>"Like, 12 years?"</p><p>As they got to a stop, Charlie turned her head. Her brown eyes meeting Misha's brilliant blues. She gets lost in them for a second. "Okay, can you just stop with the revelations? Or at least limit them to like 1 an hour."</p><p>"Sure thing. We're almost there anyway."</p><p>Charlie drove without saying another word, lost in thought. She began to feel her lip getting irritated because she was biting it and didn't even notice. When they got to the development, she drove through the secure gate. She parked the car and sat staring at the odometer.</p><p>"But how?" she says as Misha readied himself to get out of the car.</p><p>"How what?" he asked.</p><p>"How do I let him in?"</p><p>"Just talk to him."</p><p>"I do talk to him."</p><p>"So, talk more. Talk until it becomes painfully difficult not to do more."</p><p>"Bye, Misha." She said, smiling at how natural their little relationship felt. <strong><em>I love him. I really love him. Can I keep him?</em></strong></p><p>"See you later, Charlie. Come ready for a good time. Get out of your head."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Oh Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jensen's driver drove into the parking lot of Moonie's bar. Coming from spending a few hours with Jared and Genn. He hesitated, getting out of the car, thinking back to the conversation he had with Jared before he left.</p><p> </p><p>-- 2 HOURS EARLIER, JARED’S APARTMENT—</p><p> </p><p>"Come, man, be real with me. How are you? And don't just say fine, "Jared said.</p><p>"I'm not fine," Jensen replied.</p><p> Jared's head jerked to the side, looking at Jensen. "That was…easy?"</p><p>"Someone told me I needed to be more forthcoming and less repressive."</p><p>"Someone being Charlie? Who is this woman, man?"</p><p>"I don't know, man. The moment I saw her. That day she came to the set to meet Misha. She has been on my mind ever since. She didn't even do anything special to bring attention to herself. When she looked at me, I was captivated. I had to have her. But she's obviously Misha's recommendation for Board Liaison. She would be in the running to replace Danneel. Our relationship is obviously supposed to be somewhat professional. But that night at the studio, she did something I wasn't expecting. She opened up to me, and that little gesture made me even more enthralled by her.  I've tried to stop, but …"</p><p>"You still find yourself thinking about her," Jared said, processing.</p><p> Being close friends with both Danneel and Jensen over the years makes things difficult for Jared. He's on Jensen's side 100%, but he’s worried about him. He has never seen Jensen so lost.</p><p>"There's something about her man. She's just very reserved but warm and inviting. Talking to her is always intense. Being around her is intense, it just hits me differently. And now, I feel like I have to be near her."</p><p>"Damn, man. I know you like this girl but, you haven't even finalized your divorce with Danneel. Have you thought maybe…"?</p><p>“I’m just being impulsive and thinking with my dick.”</p><p>"Well, ...Yeah," Jared said, lost for words. "There have been others."</p><p>"I know. Maybe that's what this is. But the others, I never went into with the intent of it going anywhere. Never even gave it the opportunity. I don't know what this is, man. When Danneel and I started this shit storm, I told myself I needed time. But the others… I fucked them here and there to get off. It gets old, though. I resorted to holding off for a while. And now…"</p><p>Jared nods, "You met Charlie."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Well. I'm here for you, buddy," Jared said as he pats Jensen on the shoulder. Moving to set up the pool table. "For what it's worth. I like her."</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>"Maybe she's good for you. Wait, you said she confided in you... What'd she say?"</p><p>“She told me about her fiancé.”</p><p>Jared looks at him, confused. “But?”</p><p>"He died. 5 years ago, before they got a chance to get married. She wears the ring around her neck."</p><p>“Oh,” was all Jared could say.</p><p>"Yeah. When she told me, it kinda threw me for a loop even more. At first encounter, it was purely attraction. After that, I unexpectedly felt obligated to protect her. I can't explain it."</p><p>"Get to know her, man. See where it goes. You never know," Jared told him, handing him another beer.</p><p> </p><p>--NOW, MOONIES RESTURANT &amp; BAR--</p><p>Jensen got out of the SUV, thanking the driver and shutting the door. He stood outside the bar for a second, preparing for people and drinking. He didn't plan on drinking too much. He needed a clear head, and he had work in the morning. Jensen checked his watch.</p><p> </p><p> --7:34 PM—</p><p> </p><p>Jensen walked around to the entrance of the bar. As he entered, he began to scan the crowd for familiar faces. Spotting a few, Jensen walked over to Rob, Billy, Brianna, and Kim. They were all together near the stage, talking amongst themselves. He stood with them for a while, catching up and joking. After some time, he walks over to the bar. Waiting for his drink, he scans the crowd for others. Spotting Charlie over in the back corner of the bar. She was with Misha, Olivia, and Maggie. Briana and Kim spotted them as well and migrated over to their side of the bar. As if prompted, Charlie looked around and meets eyes with Jensen. He was standing at the bar looking at her. She immediately felt relieved he finally arrived and smiles at him. When she turned back to her conversation, Jensen turned toward the bar. Still waiting for his drink, he checked the time.</p><p> </p><p> --8:27—</p><p> </p><p>"Let me guess… double of shot Whiskey, Straight, ice." Jensen's whole body relaxes at the sound of her voice.</p><p>He smiles before turning around to face her. "No one likes a know it all."</p><p>"Oh really!?" she says, laughing. Then pretends to be hurt by his words.</p><p>"Yeah," he said playfully. He could swear he saw her eyes going up and down from his eyes to his lips a few times.</p><p>"Fine. But I don't have a witty retort to that because I just don't have the brain function to think at the moment," Charlie says as she got closer to him and the bar.</p><p>Jensen began to smile widely. He squinted his eyes to see her better and turned his head, reading her face. "You're drunk?"</p><p>Charlie's head fell back with a laugh, then changes to a serious face. "No, I've had two Whisky Sours. I'm not even buzzed. This is a mixture of mental fatigue, a little bit of booze, and well, I've spent some time with Misha. He's eccentric. I think I can handle any social situation now."</p><p>Jensen chuckles<em>. <strong>Yup, that's Misha.</strong></em> The bartender came over, giving Jensen his whiskey with ice. As Jensen paid, Charlie smiled like she was proud of herself. When the bartender asks her for her order, she orders to of his.</p><p>"How's your night going?" Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie gave him a knowing smile. She turns her body to face his, looking at him. "Oh, you know…definitely better."</p><p>"Oh? yeah?" he said ironically with an overconfident smile. He takes a sip from his glass. "Why's that?"</p><p> </p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen and began to bite her lip. As the bartender left the two whiskeys on the bar for her, she laid down a few bills and grabbed them. "Come sit with us," Charlie says as she begins to walk away.</p><p>Jensen threw back the rest of his whiskey and left the glass on the bar. He followed Charlie and sat down at an empty table. They were still close to the group but also private for them to talk. Charlie takes a gulp of her whiskey then shacks the hit off. She puts it down on the table in front of them, then looks over at Jensen. Seeing he doesn't have a cup she hands him the other one in her hand. He looks at her perplexed. She motions for him to grab it.</p><p>“It’s not laced. Just wanted to save you a trip. Promise.”</p><p>“You think I’d have a problem with it if it was laced?” he asked.</p><p>Charlie chuckled and shook her head. "I'm not going to answer that question."</p><p>"Well then, will you answer the first one you haven't answered yet?"</p><p>Charlie grabbed her cup and took a sip. "I was nervous you wouldn't come," she said, finally.</p><p>Jensen took a sip as well at the admission. "Hmm. So, you wanted me to come," he said taking another sip.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why?” he said, finishing the glass.</p><p>"Self-preservation."</p><p>He looked at her with a smile, judging her answer. "Nope, try again," he said as he got up slightly to place his glass at the end of the table, making it easier for the traveling bartender to see. This action required him to get closer to her allowing Charlie to get a whiff of his cologne. <strong><em>Ohh, you asshole.</em></strong></p><p>The smell made Charlie's thighs clench. She instinctively crossed her legs to get some relief. <strong><em>Fuck.</em></strong> Jensen noticed Charlie cross her legs as he got closer and liked the idea of him being the cause.</p><p>"Self-gratification," she finally says, taking the final gulp of her whiskey.</p><p>When she looks back at Jensen, he was looking at her in a way that made her want to move closer to him. She looked around and knew she couldn't. So, she laid back on the chair and looked at Jensen. He was leering at her and she loved the feeling of it. Watching him look her body up and down, slowly seeing his face get more serious. Jensen watched Charlie as she sat in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen didn't care anymore. He lightly grabbed Charlie's hand, intertwining their fingers. "Come with me," he said as he got up.</p><p>She looked up at him with questioning eyes. Taking a second to think before she got up to her feet. Charlie followed after him, their fingers softly tugging.</p><p>Close by Maggie, Misha, Brianna, and Kim all watched Jensen take Charlie's hand, watching the two disappear off somewhere. Maggie and Misha gave a knowing look to one another and began to laugh.</p><p>On the other side of the club, Charlie let out a faint giggle as he pulled them through the crowd. She was feeling surprisingly carefree but a little nervous. A guy bumps into her, almost making her fall. As the guy goes to apologize, he looks down and see's, Charlie. </p><p>“Oh. Hey.”</p><p>She looked up at him apologetically. "So sorry," she said.</p><p>Jensen, feeling Charlie stop, looks back to find an old crew member looking down at her in a way he didn't like. He wrapped his arm around Charlie’s waist. "Oh, hey, Ben. What's up, man?"</p><p>Ben looks over and see's Jensen, holding Charlie. Jensen gives him a look, telling him back off.</p><p>"Jensen, what's up?" Ben says, looking over at Charlie again. "No problem," he said to her and kept walking. </p><p>Jensen led them to a door that led to a bridge outside. Farther down, there was a small lighthouse at the end of the bridge. The hallway was clear of people, and Jensen finally stopped when they were out of view. He turned around and inched closer to Charlie. "I know you don't like crowds."</p><p>Charlie began to breathe heavily at the intensity of his stare and his body so close to hers. She was watching his eyes, watch her lips. "Yes," she panted.</p><p>"You wanna go on the bridge. It's pretty peaceful at night. There doesn't seem to be anybody?"</p><p>Charlie's whole face lit up, excited about the little adventure. She nodded her head in response. </p><p>"Yeah?" he asked, finding her reaction charming.</p><p>She nods again as a confirmation. Jensen grabs her hand and walks them through the door. As they kept walking, they reached a little seating area in front of the lighthouse. It was a great little spot to peacefully sit, listen to the ocean, and enjoy the view.</p><p>"Well, isn't this a little gem," Charlie says.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen walks them down the set of steps leading to a looking point, giving them more privacy. When they reach the bottom platform, he begins slowly walking her back towards a wooden post. "Figured you wouldn't mind some privacy," Jensen said.</p><p>All Charlie could do was watch his lips as he led her backward. When her back touched the cold hard surface, she closed her eyes to the sensation of him even closer to her. Jensen hesitated, letting Charlie gather herself.</p><p>Feeling him only inches from her face, she opened her eyes. His majestic greens still bright and brilliant in the dark of the night. They were looking right at her, into her soul. Those eyes, a green so pure, bold, and beautiful. Two small masterpieces of softly woven lines of green threads circled around flared pupils. She saw the imploring need in them. With her pressed up against the post, Jensen watched her bite her bottom lip. He mirrored her actions, biting down on his own. Seeing him take his lip between his teeth, Charlie couldn't take it anymore. She took his face in her hands, finally bringing their lips together. The moment she felt his soft warm lips on hers, she moaned against them. Finally getting a taste of him, and loving every part of it. Jensen deepened the kiss, pushing himself more into her. He fought back the urge to grind into her as their tongues danced.</p><p>Jensen was the one to stop, eliciting a small whimper from Charlie. He smiles against her lips as the sound went straight to his groan. He moved to softly graze his lips against hers. Then quickly crashed his lips back onto hers. He moves to pull her top lip between his teeth, biting down a little. When he heard her whimper again, he sucks on it, savoring her taste.</p><p>Charlie's body became powerless under his touch. She was lost in the feeling of him biting her lip, the action causing all kinds of feelings. She savored the taste of him on her tongue and the sound of him moaning into her mouth. As they kissed, she couldn't get close enough to him, even with their bodies pressed together. She needed more.</p><p>Charlie became worked up, causing the gap between her legs to need friction. She brings a leg over his hip, pushing his groan closer into her. Jensen wraps his hand around her thigh, caressing her ass. He pushed into her one last time, trying to thoroughly express how he felt at that moment. Giving her the deepest of kisses. Then taking her lower lip into his mouth and biting down again, before pulling away.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen rests his forehead against hers, allowing their breathing to slow. When he steps back, giving her space, Charlie looks up at him victoriously. He smiles back, landing one last sweet little peck on Charlie's lips.</p><p>"I do have one question," he said, regaining his breath. "What was the special skill that made you blush?"</p><p>Charlie looked at him, confused. Then she remembered their earlier conversation, and her cheeks blushed again. She pushed him off her playfully, stepping away. "Kinda hoped you didn't catch that."</p><p>"Oh, I did. And it's been on my mind since," Jensen said, stepping back. Watching her through narrowed eyes.</p><p>"Jeans probably will not help, but whatever."</p><p>Charlie bends down to take off her shoes. She moved to a clear area as not to fall off the platform or hit the rails. Jensen became really intrigued<em>. <strong>What is she doing?</strong></em></p><p>Charlie threw her shoes to the floor and positioned herself with enough space. She moved her body back quickly, turning upside down, moving into a handstand. Holding herself balanced, Charlie lets her legs fall wide into a split. Once she proves her point, she leans her left body and lands on her feet. Straightening herself back and smiling over at a gaping Jensen.</p><p>"Does yoga count?" she asked.</p><p>Jensen stands there looking at her. After a couple seconds, he realized she said something. "Uhh, yup. yup," he says, nodding his head. <strong><em>Fuck.</em></strong> He looked away as Charlie put her pumps back on and walked over to him. "So, yoga, huh?"</p><p>Charlie nods, biting her lip. "Mom's a yogi. Every time I go back home were always off to some Yoga retreat."</p><p>"Oh, that gives me happy thoughts," Jensen said, grinning.</p><p>Charlie put her hands on his chest and pushed him back to the railing, slamming her lips back onto his. Jensen began to slowly move them over to the stairs. He lifts her up, making Charlie naturally wraps her legs around his waist. She wraps her arms around his neck to hold herself closer.</p><p>Holding her, he pulls from the kiss and begins kissing on her neck. He grinds into her as she squeezes her thighs around him. Charlie began to feel intoxicated by his kiss and smell. She moans into his mouth and pushes against Jensen's chest, softly making him pull away.</p><p>As she leaves his lips, she lowers her head to place a small kiss on his neck and then lays her head against his shoulder. Jensen wraps his arms around her body, holding her tightly to him.</p><p>"Now you owe me a random weird talent," Charlie said. She could feel his chest move against her as he laughed. She loved the way it sounded so close to her ear. The way it felt vibrating against her face.</p><p>"I'll think of something," Jensen said, staring off at the line where the ocean meets the night sky. Allowing himself to take in the moment.</p><p>They both just sat there unmoving for some time. Charlie looked off toward the harbor, watching the distant lights twinkle. The pattern, creating a line of illumination off on the horizon.</p><p>As they stayed silent, they were both pulled from her peaceful bliss as Charlie’s phone began to ring in her pocket. She peeled herself from his body, grabbing her phone from her jeans. They both looked down to see Maggie calling.</p><p>"She's probably wondering where I am," Charlie says before answering the phone. "Hey, Mags. What's up?"</p><p>"What's up? Don't act nonchalant. Where the fuck are you? You disappeared with Jensen over an hour ago."</p><p><strong><em>What?</em></strong> Charlie made a face at Jensen, who could hear Maggie without a speaker. He shared the same look of confusion as he looked down at his watch.</p><p> </p><p>--9:38pm--</p><p> </p><p>Jensen shook his head, confirming Charlie's thoughts. "No, it hasn't. Calm yourself. We're just talking." Charlie spits. Jensen gave her a questioning look. <strong><em>Talking? Really?, he thought. </em></strong></p><p>"We're heading back anyway. We'll be there in a minute," Charlie finishes.</p><p>"I was just making sure you were okay. I was going to head out with Olivia. If that's cool?" Charlie and Jensen looked at each other then back at the phone.</p><p> "Olivia. Like, Misha's assistant, Olivia?" Charlie asked.</p><p>“Yeah. But I didn’t know where you were, and I didn’t wanna just leave you hangin’ wasn’t sure how you would get home.”</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, right. The car. We’ve been drinking.” Charlie said, thinking outloud. “No, I'm fine. I'll probably just catch a cab. It's totally cool. You uh… you have fun?" Charlie turns her head away from Jensen for a second. "Um, I don't really know what the female version of 'use a condom' would be, but, uh, you know, be cautious. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."</p><p>Jensen pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh at how serious Charlie was being. Charlie feels the vibrations of him laughing. She turns back to him, and squints her eyes. She tries to ignore him.</p><p>"It's not even like that," Maggie says, laughing.</p><p>"Oh, okay. Still, be safe."</p><p>"Oh my god, Charlie."</p><p>"I need to know you're safe,” she said very seriously.</p><p>Jensen just starts laughing now. Charlie jumps down and turns away from him.</p><p>“Is that Jensen? Are you being a bad girl?”</p><p>"Oh, god. Look who's talking. Good night, Mags. See you tomorrow. Or not. Whatever. Call me if you need anything. Bye." Charlie quickly hangs up and is now left to face Jensen. She turns around, full heated sex-crazed adrenaline gone. Her actions being replayed in her head. Jensen sees her gears going, watching her face work through different emotions.</p><p>"If everything okay?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Maggie's going home with Olivia. I need to find a ride home."</p><p>"You can catch a cab with us," Jensen said with a smile. "So, Olivia and Maggie?"</p><p>"Apparently.”</p><p>Charlie steps down off the stairs, then turns to walk up them. Jensen gave her space and followed after. They got back up to the bridge and kept walking towards the bar.</p><p>Jensen catches her, grabbing her hand. He makes her turn to him.</p><p>"Hey, wait. Wait," he said, pulling her in close and giving her a sweet kiss on the lips. Loving that he can do that now. "Go out with me?" Charlie looked down, blushing as she planted her face into his chest. "Is that a no?" he said, lightly chuckling.</p><p>Charlie again reveled at the sound of his laugh and the vibrations that roll through her from it. "Okay." She said, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up at him. Looking into his eyes as if they would have the answer to something she couldn't place. "How do you do this to me?" she muttered, getting lost in his green eyes. She could see them better now from the lights along the bridge, but they were dark and hooded.</p><p>"Do what?"</p><p>"Make me forget it all."</p><p>Jensen looked down at her, trying to read her eyes. Moving his eyes down for a second, looking at the ring hanging around her neck. He tried not to think about the association. Placing a finger under her chin, he brings her lips to his one more time.</p><p>He pulls away, looking at her. "I can only wonder the same thing about you.”</p><p>Charlie bites her lip, hiding the stupid grin she was fighting. <strong><em>Where did you come from?</em></strong> She rolls out of the embrace,playfully pushing him away. "Okay, Mr. Ackles. No more of that until this date of yours."</p><p>"Well, in that case, it's going to have to be as soon as possible."</p><p>"I'm not the one with the hectic schedule."</p><p>"True. Lucky for me, I'm done at 7 tomorrow and Friday. I can let you know,” he said.</p><p>"Just let me know,' she shrugged. "Come on." Charlie looped her arm around his, and they walked back to the bar. When they got inside, they found the others still in the same spot. Maggie and Olivia were nowhere to be found. Charlie and Jensen went their own way once they hit the crowd, circling back to the group. Charlie walked over to Brianna, striking a conversation as Jensen went to Misha.</p><p>When everyone was ready to leave, they took a group taxi. Charlie and Jensen sat in the back seat, sitting close but not too close. They were acting natural and unsuspecting around the others. Even though everyone knew. The taxi dropped people off one by one, leaving Jensen and Charlie together in the end. When they were alone, Charlie shifted closer to him in the seat. She crossed her legs and took his hand, intertwining their fingers. Jensen watches her as she looks away from him.</p><p>"Tomorrow?" Jensen asks.</p><p>Not looking away, Charlie silently looks out the window. She watches billboards and cars fly by. She immediately knew what he meant. "Yes," Charlie says, nodding and still looking away. She lays her head on his shoulder and waits for the driver to get to her hotel. As the taxi rolls to a stop, Charlie remembers she is going to be alone in the suite. She becomes upset, not wanting to leave Jensen. As the car came to a stop, she shacked off the thought and climbed out of the taxi. Turning around to Jensen, "Don't get out, I don't want anyone to see you," Charlie says.</p><p>She jumps up and plants a kiss on his lips. Bringing her hand up, she grazes her thumb over his lips. She wipes the little bit of moisture she left there, admiring the lines of his mouth. She finally looked up at him, saying goodnight before pulling away from the car. Jensen said goodbye with a wave as Charlie turned to walk into the lobby. He took one final look at her before he told the taxi to drive off.</p><p>Charlie slowly walked to the elevator, thinking about everything that happened tonight and blushing at some memories. She brought her palm to her face thinking about the yoga. <strong><em>God, why did I do that? </em></strong>As she waited on the elevator, she again realized she was going to be alone. Suddenly the 14k gold vintage diamond ring around her neck felt heavy. Holding it in her hand, she took a deep breath and thought about the last 6 years.</p><p>When she got to the suite, she walked around, feeling the weight of being alone. It felt like such a contrast after spending the evening with others, feeling so happy. She's been so busy running around and working, she never took a second to breathe and process. She was catching feelings for Jensen, she couldn't deny that anymore. <strong><em>But this felt so different. He felt different.  </em></strong></p><p>After losing Matt, Charlie spent a long time being alone. She needed time from a relationship. After a while, she tried dating, but she didn't like it. She met people but it never worked. She didn't know if it was the fact that she was in school and never allowed herself a distraction or if they just didn't fit. When she attempted to 'try' with a few, they reminded her why she chose to be alone. Why she was alone for a while before Matt. Charlie never felt for the others over the years, the way she's felt for Jensen in the past 3 days. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but he was different.</p><p>As she sat in front of the glass wall that overlooked the city, she began to cry. She whaled into her knees, letting herself feel the emotional conflict weighing on her. Letting all the fear and regret come to the surface. Having met Jensen, Charlie is now faced with knowing she needs to let Matt go. She can’t hold herself back anymore. She needed to let herself move on. One day, she will need to take the ring off and never put it back on.</p><p>Charlie tugged at the ring around her neck. Pulling it off and moving it around in her fingers. She examined it and tried to etch its details into her brain. She knew she needed some form of closure, and she knew how. She just didn't know if she could do it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. She’s A Rainbow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlie got up early the next morning. She called a taxi and picked up her rental at Moonies. When she got back to the hotel, she showered and dressed for a lazy workday.</p><p>Charlie got her phone call with Richard out of the way, updating on everything and informing him of her plans to stay behind. As expected, Richard was okay with it. Charlie had a small conversation with him about issues that were brought to her attention. Along with complaints she had been getting from her team. They worked out a plan of action and scheduled a follow up on Monday. The rest of the time, she stayed glued to her computer screen, reading, writing, and typing away. Approving sketches, templates, proposals, and documents.</p><p>Close to noon, Maggie strolls in, evidently hungover. She waves briefly and heads into her room to sleep. Charlie watches with a huge grin as she just walks into the suite.</p><p>Charlie tried to keep her mind off the date she had with Jensen tonight. She was nervous, but she didn't want to think about that. She continued working through her tasks. Having calls here and there. Some even with Random Acts and Misha.</p><p> As Charlie busied herself in the kitchen area of the suite, she hears her phone going off. Expecting it to be work, she was pleasantly surprised to see Jensen was calling.</p><p>"Hello," Charlie says, a little weirder than she meant.</p><p>"Hey, you."</p><p>Charlie immediately smiled at his alluring voice. “Hi.”</p><p>“How’s your day going?”</p><p>“Ehh, relenting.”</p><p>“When do you go back to Washington?”</p><p>"Still figuring that out. I was originally going to leave Sunday, but things are changing. When are you going back to…? I actually don't know where you go back to," she said with a laugh.</p><p>“Texas. I live in Texas...kinda.”</p><p>"Ohhh, lone star state. Kinda, makes sense. Southern boy."</p><p>"Why? And, I'd prefer Texan," he said with a laugh.</p><p>"Oh, you know. The whole southern values thing. You're all respectful, humble, and kindhearted," Charlie giggles. "So, ranch and cattle, or?"</p><p>"I grew up in Texas. Not so big, but we had a house with horses and all that, yeah. I don't have that now, though. I live closer to the city."</p><p>"That's cool, though. A lot of great people are from Texas. "</p><p>"I agree. So, you live in Washington? Or are you from there? The rainy state," he said with light humor.</p><p>"Hey! It's beautiful in Washington, thank you. Misha lives there. That has to mean something." Jensen laughs at her as she continues. "Fortunately for me, I got tired of scorching heat and east coast culture. I love the gloom and seclusion.  The greenery. But, no, I'm not from there. I was born in Arizona. Raised between there and New York. Went to school in New York. Eventually got a job. They brought me out to Seattle, and I never left."</p><p>“What school?”</p><p>“NYU.”</p><p>"Oh, cool. I think Jared's wife, Genn, graduated from there. The art school. Something to that effect. So, how’d you sleep last night?" he asks with a chuckle.</p><p>Charlie blushed and was thankful he couldn't see it.</p><p> "Like a baby. Not a worry in the world." <strong><em>Kinda.</em></strong></p><p>"Good," he managed to say, in the most seductive way. "You still on for tonight?"</p><p>"Of course. Where are we going?"</p><p>"You'll see," he said, teasing.</p><p>“Suspenseful.”</p><p>"So, you're okay with what happened last night?"</p><p>"Wait, what happened last night?" Charlie asked, pretending to be clueless. Jensen let out a laugh and fell quiet, making Charlie bite her lip.</p><p> "Yes, I am fine with everything that happened last night."</p><p>"Good...I was nervous."</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I don’t know. You seemed a little panicked when I dropped you off.”</p><p>"Oh, no. That wasn't you. That was me realizing I was going upstairs to an empty hotel room," Charlie said. Then she realized how that sounded, "I didn't mean it like you weren't coming up with me. To have…Like that's a thing I do. I just meant-"</p><p>"I know what you meant, Charlie," he lets out followed by a sexy laugh.</p><p> "Did Maggie ever get back?"</p><p>"Yeah, she strolled in around noon. Right into hibernation. Haven't seen her since."</p><p>“So, she doesn’t know you’re going out with me tonight?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Have you told anyone?”</p><p>"Nope. I've been working all day...You?"</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Charlie grinned into the phone, "Am I a secret?", she asked.</p><p>"No, far from it. Misha and Jared know there's something with us. But … no. No one knows about tonight."</p><p>Charlie became excited at the idea of it being their little secret. "That feels fitting."</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>"I don't know. I get a sense you're as reserved as I am when it comes to people knowing your private life."</p><p>“Yeah, I think I am. Did you want me to pick you up, or would you like to meet me? I can even go so far as to get a driving service. If you really want the bells and whistles."</p><p>Charlie began to laugh. "Not my scene, but you can totally send one, I won't complain… or you can pick me up."</p><p>"8:30? Did we agree on a time?"</p><p>"No, but 8:30 is great. I’ll text you my room number."</p><p>"Good. I guess I will see you at 8:30."</p><p>"I'll see you at 8:30."</p><p>"Bye, Charlie."</p><p>"Bye, Jensen."</p><p> </p><p>After the call, Charlie finished her workday. As she finally took the time to relax on the couch, watching TV. Around  6 o'clock, Maggie came wobbling out of her room. She walks to the couch, falling on the opposite side of where Charlie was sitting.</p><p>"You hit the bottle too much this time?" Charlie askes as Maggie plopped down on the couch.</p><p>“Why did you let me drink?”</p><p>“If you remember correctly, I didn’t even want to go last night.”</p><p>"Please, the moment Jensen got there, you were on that. But yeah, I get the point."</p><p>"So, speaking of Jensen," Charlie says.</p><p>Maggie shot up, looking Charlie over. "You seem different."</p><p>Charlie stared at her like she had four heads. "What?"</p><p>"Did you sleep with him?" Maggie asked with a huge grin while trying to look outraged.</p><p>Charlie laughs, "No! Jesus Christ."</p><p>Maggie laid back down again, still eyeing Charlie.</p><p>"How am I in trouble here?!" Charlie asks, pointing to Maggie's condition. "You just got home 6 hours ago."</p><p>"It's different. He has a penis."</p><p>"Oh my god! What are we in fourth grade? He's a person and an adult. So am I. So is Olivia."</p><p>“Nope. Different. Just is.”</p><p>"Okay, well. Jensen will be picking me up at 8:30. Hopefully, his PENIS and I can keep some distance. <strong><em>Or not. Hopefully the latter.</em></strong> I am really just telling you, so you know who I’m with if something happens.”</p><p>"Where is he taking you?" Maggie asks.</p><p>“I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me?”</p><p>“What are you gonna wear?”</p><p>“Probably something simple.”</p><p>"Oh no, not simple," Maggie says, shaking her head. She gets up quickly, like a fire lit under her ass. "I'll go through your clothes."</p><p>“You can barely walk.”</p><p>"Watch me," Maggie said, walking past Charlie on the couch.</p><p>Charlie just shook her head and got up, following her friend.</p><p> </p><p>Maggie went through Charlie's entire wardrobe and decided on a striped gray and blue, cold shoulder Bodycon peplum dress. Charlie loved the colors and the simplicity of it. She saw it while out shopping the other day. She figured it would be a great dress for an event. <strong><em>Or a date.</em></strong> They finished the look with her nude pumps.</p><p>After showering, she blow-dried her hair, curling the ends and letting them fall around her shoulders and back. Charlie put on some mascara, a simple cat eye with liquid eyeliner, and some lip balm.</p><p>Just as Charlie finished, she heard a knock at the door. She immediately felt her heart race, and her nerves were on edge. <strong><em>This is happening.</em></strong> She took a final look in the mirror. <strong><em>I don't want to do this</em></strong>, she panicked. Charlie began to hear voices in the next room. <strong><em>It's too late to cancel. He's already here!</em></strong></p><p>Maggie let Jensen in, making small talk with him. Eventually saying something along the lines of; not breaking her best friend's heart or she will destroy him. She made sure to add a giant smile at the end, teeth and all.</p><p>Jensen looked at the fiery redhead with amazement, chuckling at Maggie's tenacity. He didn't flinch against her words or threat. Jensen welcomed it. He had no intentions of misleading or hurting Charlie. He appreciated Charlie had someone looking out for her. Jensen couldn't help but admire Maggie at that moment.</p><p> When Charlie finally came out of the room, she finds Jensen standing, looking out at the view. Even though she was nervous, she felt a little bit more comfortable seeing him. <strong><em>Okay, nevermind. I want to do this. </em></strong></p><p>Jensen heard Charlie's heels hit the floor. He turned to her. The sight of her made his heart and jaw dropped.</p><p>"I'm ready," Charlie says to him. She had her coat hanging around her arm, allowing Jensen to see her outfit.</p><p>Jensen closes his mouth and looks Charlie up and down before walking forward to her. He takes her hand, placing a light kiss on the back of her palm. He stuttered, trying to find the words to describe how he felt and how amazing she looked. Charlie sees his reaction and giggles.</p><p>"Truly, Charlie. You look...INCREDIBLE."</p><p>"Doesn't she," Maggie said, standing in the doorway of her room.</p><p>"Wow. Just...wow," Jensen managed to say, speechless.</p><p>Charlie could feel his eyes on her and began to blush. She looked him over, assessing his attire. Jensen wore a black blazer, a blue pattern printed button-up shirt, with straight-leg jeans. He looked delightful. Charlie had to fight the urge to bite her lip as she finally took him in.</p><p>"Not too bad yourself, hot stuff," she said.</p><p>Jensen stepped forward with a smile. "Not even close," he said in her ear, finally giving her a kiss on the cheek. The closeness of him did very powerful things to her. "You ready?" he asked.</p><p>Charlie had to clear her mind of her thoughts. “Yup.”</p><p>"Be good, you two," Maggie said as they began to walk out the door.</p><p>Charlie shoots a glaring look at her friend as she and Jensen start walking out. Without Charlie knowing it, Jensen gave Maggie a wink before walking out the door.</p><p>Maggie begins to laugh, shaking her head, watching the door close.</p><p>"Yeah, she's so getting super laid tonight," she said before going into her room.</p><p> </p><p>As Jensen and Charlie walk down the hall towards the elevator, he helped her put on her coat. There was tension between them. They were finally alone. No one to stop them and nowhere else to be. This invisible pull they had with one another, amplified as they stood in the hall, watching the numbers decrease.</p><p>Charlie needed to say something to break the ice.</p><p> "How was the rest of your day?" Charlie asked, trying to make conversation.</p><p>"Good," Jensen replied as the elevator dings to an open.</p><p>As they passed the threshold into the metal confinement. The energy they were feeling three-seconds ago, intensified.</p><p>"Do I get to know where we are goi-"</p><p>Charlie began to say, but her sentence is interrupted as Jensen crushed his lips to hers. The sudden action causes her to lose her balance a bit, stumbling towards the wall behind her.</p><p>With his lips finally pressed to hers, Jensen cups her face. Stepping closer to her body, pinning her firmly between him and the elevator wall.</p><p>He deepens the kiss, grazing his tongue over her lips, requesting access. Charlie obliged, opening her mouth, letting him in. Their tongues doing a delicious dance. Charlie becomes weak to the kiss and holds onto his shoulders for support.</p><p>Jensen brings his hands to her waist, gripping it. He rubs his hands against the thick tight fabric of her dress. Grabbing at the perfect and sturdy amount of muscle and fat there was in her ass. Working up and down her tone but voluptuous figure. Charlie hugs him, bringing him in closer and loving the feeling of his body so firm against hers.</p><p>When they heard a ding, they froze, forgetting they were in an elevator. Losing themselves in the moment, in each other. Jensen didn't move out of the kiss. He knew they weren't on the ground floor, and he didn't want to be seen.</p><p>With his lips still on Charlie's, Jensen quickly guides her towards the corner of the elevator. Pulling their mouths away, he moved to leave a kiss on her cheek. He slowly moved to trail kisses down to the crook of her neck. Jensen didn't want to be seen by whoever was getting on the elevator.</p><p>An older couple gets on, seeing the two intertwined in the corner. The couple paid Charlie and Jensen no mind. </p><p>As they waited to get to the first floor, Charlie tries to concentrate on her breathing. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. She squirmed as Jensen nibbles on her neck.</p><p>The elevator dings, finally reaching the first floor. The couple quickly exits, speaking amongst themselves.</p><p>"I'll go first. Just follow," Jensen said, pulling away and walking off the elevator.</p><p>Charlie goes to speak but he's ten strides ahead, before she was able to think clearly.</p><p>Quickly following, she made concentrated steps across the ceramic tiles.  As they get outside, she is surprised to see Jensen getting into a black tinted SUV. Holding the door was a bodyguard. A very built guy. <strong><em>I don't want to fuck with him.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen takes a seat, then turns to hold out his hand for her to use as support. Charlie took it and carefully climbed into the back seat.</p><p>The gentleman closed the door behind her and walked around to the front. He got into the driver's seat and began pulling off.</p><p>Jensen watches as Charlie takes in what's happening.</p><p>"You actually brought a car service?" Charlie asked.</p><p>Jensen moves to wrap his around her waist, "Not really. That's my buddy, Cliff. He's contracted through the studio. The wheels just come with the package."</p><p>"So, you're always hiking around with a bodyguard?"</p><p>"Not always, no. Usually, events or places where there are going to be fans or crowds. I asked him to come along tonight. As a joke but also, no mishaps."</p><p>Charlie just shacks her head in awe. "Hi, Cliff," she said from the back seat.</p><p>"Hi, Charlie."</p><p>She beams, whispering to Jensen, "He knows my name," she said with a little chuckle. Turning her attention back to the front, "Nice to meet you, Cliff. Hope it wasn't too much of an imposition… taking us."</p><p>"For this kid. Anytime."</p><p>Charlie turned to Jensen with a brilliant smile. "I'm on to you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Pulling out all the stops."</p><p>Jensen laughs. "Can you blame me?" Jensen said, inching his face closer to hers.</p><p>"Not really, no," she said, closing the gap between them. She sweetly leaves a soft wet kiss on Jensen's lips. She wanted to do more, but not with Cliff in the car. Instead, Charlie laid her head against his shoulder as they drove to their destination.</p><p>As the car slowed down, stopping in front of a huge boat on the harbor. Above the floating restaurant deck, bright white lights were neatly arranged in a beautiful display. It provided a stunning contrast to the dark evening sky and endless ocean backdrop. Charlie looks all around in awe. Falling speechless and overwhelmingly excited. The place was elegant. The deck had posts with fabrics hanging in intricate ways providing privacy and illusion. She turns her head to look at Jensen.</p><p>"Come on," he said, taking Charlie's hand and slowly helping her out of the car. He leads her down a sturdy wooden path as Charlie grabbed on to him for fear of falling. Jensen, however, enjoyed the closeness.</p><p>Getting onto the boat, they stopped at the host's podium. Charlie looked around in amazement. Each table had its own private sections allowing privacy. Each little compartment had a view of the ocean and a nicely decorated curtain hanging around to create an ambiance.</p><p>They were escorted over to their table. Jensen helped Charlie take her coat off. As he does, he gets a better glimpse at her curvaceous body from behind.</p><p>Jensen clinched down on his jaw, finally assessing her. He begged for the day he could see what the fabric wouldn't let him.</p><p>Charlie sat, not oblivious to Jensen's stealth assistance. She couldn't pay attention to how he was looking at her. It did things to her. They were at the beginning of their date. She needed to take it slow or she wouldn’t last.</p><p>Charlie took her seat, immediately crossing her legs. Giving herself some relief. When she looked up, she finally sees the display of lights providing illumination to the tables.</p><p>"This is…" Charlie started to say, as Jensen went to sit down.</p><p>She finally looks at him. He was smiling at her, waiting for her response. She gives him an enamored smile. "It's fucking awesome."</p><p>"I figured you'd love it," he said. "You like your privacy."</p><p>"We don't need it. I'm cool anywhere. It's just with your-"</p><p>"I know," Jensen said, stopping her from having to defend herself.</p><p>"Trust me, this is for me too," he said with a chuckle. "Besides, I wanted you to feel comfortable. I notice you are more relaxed in small settings. Or with familiar people."</p><p>Charlie continued to smile and sat back in her seat. "Thank you."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Have you been here before?"</p><p>"Yes, with a few friends a few years ago. We were on the deck, though. It was also a weekend. This is a different scene on the weekends."</p><p>"I could imagine."</p><p>As they sat across from each other, Charlie felt the need to know everything about him. "I feel like you know so much more about me than I do about you.”</p><p>"Okay, ask me a question," he said with a smirk, grabbing the glass of water in front of him. He took a sip.</p><p>"Ohhh, there's too many."</p><p>They both laughed, "I'm sure you'll think of something?" he said back with narrowed eyes.</p><p>The waitress came up to introduce herself and took their drink orders. As she walked away, Charlie focused her attention back at Jensen. He was patiently waiting for a question.</p><p>"How'd you get into acting?" she said as she grabbed the glass of water and drank.</p><p>"I had an interest in it in middle and high school. I did some modeling and stuff. Got recognized one day by these talent agents. They told me I had what it took. I blew them off at first, finished high school. Registered for college the following semester.”</p><p>"But…"</p><p>"But I couldn't let the opportunity pass," he said, looking back at that time, so long ago. "My dad gave me 6 month to see if I could do it. Before I went off into the world of collegiate greatness and forgot about my dreams." Charlie shook her head in agreement as the notion fell too close to home. "So, I packed my car, drove to LA, and well, the rest is history," Jensen finished with a shrug.</p><p>"Hmm. I wonder what the world would be like today if Jensen Ackles never decided to pursue his lifelong dream of acting?" Charlie said with humor.</p><p>Jensen laughed, "It would still turn and live another day."</p><p>"I don't know, dude. You guys have been around for a while. That's a lot of viewers, fans, interviews. God, I can go on. But, the show is still loved. It didn't fizzle away or get canceled. It stayed for 15 years, that's fucking awesome. That's dedication. If not for Supernatural, Random Acts would have never been founded. That does soooo much good. Also, you know, you guys blessed us with Misha Collins. So, yeah."</p><p>“You love Misha, don’t you?” Jensen asked finding her affection funny.</p><p>“Yes. I wanna put him in my pocket.”</p><p>Jensen chuckles and shacks his head at her. "Yeah, it's been a ride. An amazing one. We never thought signing a 5-season contract would last this long. Looking back at everything it's given us. It's gratifying but humbling. This random thing of chance. I've met some pretty great people over the years. That definitely makes it worth it. What about you? You said you were going to school for art, but you changed to Psychology. Why?"</p><p>Just as Charlie was going to answer, the waitress dropped off their drinks. Placing wine glasses and a wine bottle down and filled them. "Leave the bottle," Jensen said.</p><p>"I will give you another couple minutes to look over the menu," the waitress said before she was gone.</p><p>“Thank you,” Jensen says to the waitress with a nod. He looks back at Charlie for a response.</p><p>She seemed reluctant to disclose but eventually began to talk. "My dad was a singer. So, I grew up with the music aspect. But I leaned towards different art. Mainly drawing or painting, illustrations. I loved books and writing. I read a lot. When we got older my dad let go of the music life and became a chef. He was pretty good at it too."</p><p>"We?"</p><p>"Yeah. I have two twin siblings Beatrice and Francis. Or Trixie and Frank. They're four years older than me. When my parents split, I was left with my father in Arizona, they stayed with my mother in New York. That’s when he taught me to read music. I grew up loving creativity mostly. Thinking outside the box. I did a lot of art and advance art classes as electives. Won awards. Had a mentor- Ms. Taylor. She was the one that really pushed me to pursue that part of myself. She wrote me a recommendation and everything. I'm pretty sure she's why I got accepted into the program."</p><p>"So, you were accepted?" Jensen asked, and Charlie looked at him and nodded her head.</p><p>"Yeah… but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I wasn’t Maggie. I didn’t have faith in my abilities and I didn’t hone in on one thing. I wanted to do it all. But, you see, my dad was a musician. A creator, self expressor. When I was younger, I think he wanted that for me. However, as the years went on, he stopped playing. Became warped with this belief that self-expression and creativity could never resort to contentment or stability." She laughed at the irony. "He never agreed with my choice of art school. Not as a profession. He wanted more for me," she spoke, taking another sip of the wine.</p><p>Charlie looked over at the ocean, hearing the waves hit the boat as she continued, "Sorry, I'm rambling," she said.</p><p> "No, you're fine. Please keep going," Jensen objected. </p><p>"He had heart problems. I spent pretty much all of high school taking care of him. Going in and out of hospitals…."</p><p>And suddenly Jensen realized why she didn't go for art. He knew where this was going.</p><p>"Long story short, he died my second semester in college," Charlie finally said.</p><p> Jensen could not help but feel a high regard towards her. She lost her father and the love of her life, and still, she manages to be so bright and positive.</p><p>"I dropped out for a few years. Didn't plan on going back at first, pretty much because I flunked out." Charlie looked at Jensen, feeling a bit of shame. "It was a dark time for me. But, after a while, I regretted it. And once I was… better and able to live with the loss, I went back. But for Psychology. It’s a broad subject, you can do a lot with it.” Charlie looked back out to the ocean, getting lost in thought.</p><p>"I know it doesn't do anything or mean anything, but I am sorry you've had to endure so much loss," Jensen said, moving forward to squeeze her hand. Trying to convey some compassion.</p><p>"The thing about it is, in hindsight, if my dad were here. I think he'd tell me I should have followed my heart. I just think he was wrapped up in trying to make sure I was okay after him. He didn’t know how to let me be free. It’s taken me fourteen years to come to terms with that. But… anyway, life goes on." Charlie let out, trying to change the mood.</p><p>Jensen followed. "And now you're a hotshot director saving lives," he said.</p><p>Charlie looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I wish," she said with a chuckle. "I started at MAP a couple years after it founded. I was excited. I thought over time, it would build and get better. But it's just built and gotten worse."</p><p>"Why do you stay?"</p><p>"Convenience mostly," she shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like I've worked my way up. I don't want to leave and go someplace where I have to prove myself again."</p><p>"I don't think you should have to prove yourself…. But, I get it. "</p><p>The waitress returns slowly, not wanting to disturb the conversation. Jensen and Charlie gave her their orders. The waitress took them with a nod. They both thanked her as she disappeared behind the curtains.</p><p>"I know you said you're extending your stay here," Jensen began.</p><p>Charlie nodded as she grabbed the wine bottle, filling her glass. "For how long?"</p><p>"I don't know, probably another week. I know the second meeting for Misha is in LA next weekend. I'll probably go home for good then."</p><p>"Go home for good?" he asked.</p><p>"Yeah, we have a board meeting on Monday. I can't miss it. I have to be in person. I'm leaving Maggie here and flying back Sunday, then flying back Monday night."</p><p>"Jeez. That seems like a lot."</p><p>"Ahh, it's an hour there and back. Besides, I get to take the time worked traveling, out of my work week," Charlie says.</p><p>"So, you just get paid to travel, huh?"</p><p>"Sometimes. When I started going back to school, I kinda became this traveling salesman," she said with a giggle.</p><p>"You're still in school?"</p><p>"I was. I just graduated at the end of May."</p><p>"Congratulations. That’s awesome. With what?"</p><p>Charlie chuckles, hesitating. She knew he was going to say something. "master’s in counseling psychology," she said, biting her lip.</p><p>"Again, you work in marketing. I don't...?" Jensen said, confused about how the two, correlate.</p><p>Charlie laughs again, "Technically, psychology is a very versatile field. I use my psychology background to have a better understanding of my target population. It also gets me paid the big bucks. If it makes you feel better, I also have a certification in Marketing and Communication. Therefore, I have the same educational and professional experience needed to be a talent manager. So, if you ever need one of those." Charlie said with a wink.</p><p>"How would you even know that?”</p><p>“My mom was one, back in the day. She’s the one that got me into the marketing world. She always tells me I should change gears.”</p><p>“Well. You are all kinds of surprises. Aren’t you?" Jensen said with a playful tone.</p><p>"I'm honestly just going with what comes. Originally, it was art school. Then I wanted to be a writer,” she laughs. "I'm just trying to get by with what works," Charlie admits.</p><p>Jensen just stares at her, almost gazing. "Talent manager, huh? You never fail to amaze me. No wonder Misha's zeroing in on you."</p><p>This time it was Charlie's turn to be confused. "Wait. What?"</p><p>"You know he's testing you with this whole event, right?" Jensen asked, and Charlie's face changed into a panic. "He's recommending you as board liaison for Random Acts. There will be a board vote soon, and well… he wants you."</p><p>"But he just met me," Charlie said.</p><p>"Met, yes. He's known about you for some time. He and Rich something," Jensen said the name, not sure if it was the correct one.</p><p>"Richard Steyer?!"</p><p>"Yes, him," Jensen responded, but his face fell when he saw Charlie's reaction. "I'm going to assume you were completely clueless to that part of all this. Can we pretend like I didn't bring it up?"</p><p>"No," Charlie said sternly. "What about Richard?" she asked.</p><p>"I don't know a lot. I don't work for Random Acts. I just know, what I know, because the day Misha made you come to set, he filled me in on who you were. And he only told me because you would be replacing… Danneel," he said her name with reluctance.</p><p>"what?" Charlie responded with more panic.</p><p>"I…" Jensen was hesitant to continue, and Charlie changed her face to look at him with a mixture of humor, desire, and impatience. ". I just know. Misha's aware of your work or whatever. He and Richard have spoken on occasion. About what and how much, I don't know," Jensen finished. He takes the glass of wine, chugging the contents.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"But, again, I don't know, Charlie. I only remember bits and pieces of what he said to me. I didn't really know who you were then. It wasn't until after I met you that I started paying attention to the things he said about you."</p><p>"What does Misha say about me?!" Charlie asked, her voice raising an octave.</p><p>"Oh, god. I need to shut the fuck up."</p><p>Charlie giggles again, finding him absolutely adorable. "Yes, you do. But what does he say about me?!"</p><p>Jensen looks stressed. By the time the waitress came with the food, Charlie and Jensen didn't even look up at her. They were so fixed on each other, neither wanting to look away.</p><p>The waitress, reading the table, hurries to get everything down for them, "Is there anything else I can get you?"</p><p>"No, thank you." They both said in unison, not looking away as the waitress quickly left the area.</p><p>Charlie shook her head and gestured for him to answer her with her eyebrows. Jensen just grabbed his glass and gulped his wine, again. He moves forward to begin eating his meal. Charlie just watches him not moving an inch. Jensen eventually falters and sighs with defeat.</p><p>"When Danneel backed down as …" Jensen shuddered at the sentence, as it brought back raw emotions. "Misha contacted Richard for your assistance, not the other way around. Misha has to make a recommendation, and he wants you. He feels this event planning will allow the board to see your abilities. Which would guarantee your place. Except I feel like I shouldn't have said anything because It might have been Misha's plan to keep this under wraps. Maybe, as not to have you-"</p><p>"Realize the immense pressure being put on my shoulders as I find out my own boss has been colluding behind my back," Charlie finishes his sentence.</p><p>"That makes it sound bad. I mean, I think he's trying to help you."</p><p>Charlie doesn't argue because she knows he's right. She isn't even upset, just surprised. She sat back on the seat, lost in her head.</p><p>"Please eat something, Charlie. I'm sorry, I honestly didn't mean to drop a bomb. I thought Misha was more forthcoming with certain aspects… apparently that wasn't the case," he finally let out. "Please don't be upset. It's a flattering gesture if anything."</p><p>"I'm not upset," she said, looking up at him. "Just… I don't know. Dumbfounded."</p><p>She leans forward to grab her fork and begins picking at her meal. The two came back to light conversation about their friends and places they've traveled, Jensen obviously having the upper hand.</p><p>The waitress brought the check a little while later. Jensen gave her his credit card immediately, making sure to leave a generous tip. He checked his phone, and Charlie thanked him for dinner.</p><p>Jensen helped Charlie put her coat on. As he went to slide it on her back, he moved her hair out of the way and left a warm wet kiss at the base of her neck. Charlie felt the kiss tinging under her skin, and a little spark shot from that spot, all the way down to the throbbing void between her legs.</p><p>She turned around and looked up into his eyes, feeling the urge to kiss him, but she didn't want to get distracted. She looked at his lips, thinking lovely thoughts. Then turned around and began to walk out and off the boat. All the while, trying to keep her heartbeat at a normal pace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. You Shook Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*EXPLICIT CONTENT*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leaving the restaurant, Jensen held Charlie close as they reached the outside harbor winds. Both laughing and making jokes as they walked together. Charlie was surprised to find Cliff, driving up in the black SUV. She smiled to herself, adding a little shake of her head. She was thinking about the little perfect moments from the night.</p><p>Jensen opened the door for her, she quickly climbed in and Jensen followed.</p><p>"Did he wait outside the whole time?" Charlie asked.</p><p>"No, he waited at the bar. I texted him to get the car ready."</p><p>"Oh," Charlie said, not realizing Cliff waited.</p><p>"He's fine, Charlie. Trust me. He does this for a living."</p><p>She turned her attention to the front part of the SUV. "Did you enjoy your meal, Cliff?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, ma'am?" Cliff askes from the front sea, not hearing her.</p><p>"Did you enjoy the food? I didn't realize you stayed the whole time," she said, catching his eyes in the rear-view mirror.</p><p>Jensen smiles, letting out a small chuckle. He watches Charlie talk to Cliff.</p><p>Of course, she would feel obligated to ask him about his night. Jensen moves closer to Charlie, putting his head in her neck.</p><p>"Oh," Cliff says as he heard her better and laughed. "Yes, ma'am. Great place, can't complain."</p><p>With Jensen's lips on her neck, Charlie has a hard time forming a train of thought. "Good, I'm glad," she managed to say before letting out a small moan.</p><p>Jensen begins kissing on her chin, moving his lips to that sweet spot below her ear. Giving her chills. Before she lets him rile her up, she slowly pushes him away.</p><p>Jensen looks at Charlie. She points to the front of the car to Cliff. Charlie didn't feel comfortable with him in the car.</p><p>Jensen goes to kiss her again, but Charlie pulls away from his lips.</p><p>"It's fine, Charlie. He's not paying attention," Jensen said as he goes to kiss her again.</p><p>Charlie lets his lips touch hers but doesn't deepen the kiss or allow him to. With a heavy exhale, Jensen pulled away. He could feel she was uncomfortable with Cliff in the car.</p><p>"You're too nice for your own good sometimes, you know that. We could be having an orgy back here. Trust me, he wouldn’t," he said, giving her a sweet peck before moving his head away. "Isn't that right, Cliff?" Jensen calls towards the front of the car.</p><p>"What's that Ackles?" Cliff asks.</p><p>"Do you pay attention to what happens back here while you're working?"</p><p>"Oh. No, not really. Not my place."</p><p>"See," Jensen says to Charlie, giving her a winning grin. "All good."</p><p>"Does that mean you've had orgies back here?" she whispered playing with him. She moved her lips to his ear, and Jensen turns into it to hear better. "Dirty boy," she said seductively. Making Jensen's dick twitch as it grew hard under his jeans.</p><p>Charlie planted a kiss right between his ear and neck. Jensen squeezes her close, trying not to focus on the pressure forming in his pants. Charlie giggled, knowing exactly what she just did to him.</p><p>As she goes to pull away, Jensen catches her lips with his, he deepens the kiss. Trying to convey what that, not so innocent little gesture did to him.</p><p>Charlie moved into the kiss this time. Weaving her tongue into Jensen's mouth and delighting in the feel, taste and smell of him. She pulled out of the kiss and rubbed their noses together, trying to steady herself.</p><p>Turning to look out the window, a thought occurred to her. "I may be a bit late. But, where are we going?" Charlie asked.</p><p>"To your hotel.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, feeling sad. The hotel is where the night ends. No...</p><p>"What's wrong?" Jensen asked as he puts his finger under her chin, moving her head to make eye contact.</p><p>He’s really going to make me say it. Isn’t he? …"I don't want to go home yet," Charlie admitted.</p><p>"Okay. Where do you want to go?" Jensen asked, knowingly.</p><p>"Where’s your apartment?”</p><p>Jensen smiled at her question. "On the other side of the city."</p><p>Charlie leans in closely, almost making it a kiss but never touching his lips. Jensen instantly sensed the effects of her taunting him. The smell of her encapsulating him. The radiant heat, mixed with desire, coming from her body.</p><p>Jensen was falling under Charlie's little spell, making him desperately need her. He looks down to her lips, holding back for a second, biting the inside of his mouth. He was fixated on them, waiting for the words.</p><p>"Take me there," she finally said, meeting her lips with his.</p><p>Jensen released a small hoarse moan into the kiss, happy with her request. He holds his lips firmly to hers, smiling against them.</p><p>Jensen turned his head for a second, telling Cliff to head towards his apartment.</p><p>With his neck exposed, Charlie presses a sweet kiss against it. She moved to lay her head, getting every bit of his smell. She hummed to the sensation of his warm body against her face.</p><p>They fell silent as Charlie looked out the window, feeling incredibly calm at that moment. When the SUV drove up to a skyscraper and double-parked upfront, Charlie was enthralled by how tall it was.</p><p>She looked at Jensen, "You live here?"</p><p>Jensen nodded, giving her a sweet peck on the lips before grabbing her hand and opening the door.</p><p>"Thanks, man." Jensen yelled back to Cliff. "I'll see you in the morning."</p><p>"No problem, Ackles. Have a good night." Cliff said.</p><p>Charlie suddenly became filled with embarrassment at the double meaning of his words. She turned to Cliff before climbing out, "Good Night, Cliff. Get home safely."</p><p>"Thank you, Charlie. Have a good night."</p><p>Charlie finally turns to climb out. Jensen wrapped his arm around her as they quickly walked into the building. They passed the doorman at the front desk.</p><p>"How's it going, Ronny?" Jensen said with a polite nod as he passed by.</p><p>"Pretty good, Mr. A. Pretty good. Have a good night," the gentleman said.</p><p>He looked at Charlie and gave her a polite nod. She nodded back with a smile.</p><p>When they got to the elevator, Jensen pulled Charlie into a warm hug. He put his hands under her coat, around her waist, rubbing the fabric of her dress. He was rubbing her up and down, stopping just above her ass.</p><p>Charlie just laid her head on his chest as his hands explored. She felt all her stress escape with him. She wondered what it was about him that made the rest of the world just fall away.</p><p>When they heard the elevator ding, they pulled apart. Walking in, Jensen presses the number 23. He pulls her to him again, playing with her hair. Charlie looked up at him, and him down at her meeting lips. They shared a the kiss, but not with the demanding lust, but affection.</p><p>Charlie used her tongue to deepen the kiss, causing Jensen to pin her against the elevator wall. Neither of them wanting to let go.</p><p>When they reached his floor, Jensen quickly walks them out of the elevator. Impatiently, he tried to get into his apartment. Seeing him so out of character made Charlie giggle at how serious his face became.</p><p>When he finally unlocked his door and walked in, Charlie followed behind him. She walked forward into the apartment, immediately taking in his place.</p><p>Compared to the grand appeal of the building, his apartment was modest but also modern. They entered into a small entrance hall, set with an entry table and hanging hooks. Past the little entrance space, you enter into the rest of the apartment.</p><p>As soon as you walk through the threshold, you are in the kitchen dining room space. The layout was fairly open, the living room area being the only area divided off from the rest of the apartment with a glass wall. It was completely see-through, but separating.</p><p>The surrounding walls were glass and stretched out with a panoramic view all across the back. To the right, there were rooms. They were hidden behind white private walls, going perfectly with the glass, contrasting the dark night.</p><p>Jensen locked the door behind them. The sound of the locking mechanism clicking in place was nerving for some reason. Charlie had to swallow the anxiety.</p><p>She was about to comment on the apartment, but Jensen pulled her face to his, bringing their lips together. Feeling like he couldn't waste another minute, Jensen began to push Charlie's coat off her shoulders. Finally able to see the dress in all its glory, he pulls away to look at her.</p><p>Charlie, feeling bold, backs away from him slowly. As she pulls away, Jensen gives her a lustful stare.</p><p>Charlie motions for Jensen to come to her with her finger. He obeys, moving forward and pushing her into the kitchen island. Their lips meet in a kiss. Charlie strokes his hair with her hands, also trying to keep his face close to hers.</p><p>Jensen moved his hands down to her hips, lifting her onto the marble countertop. Charlie makes a high-pitched giggle at the sudden action and instinctively wraps her legs around his waist.</p><p>Charlie slides her ass closer to the edge, needing more of him pressed against her already wet sex.</p><p>Jensen looks to see her dress beginning to ride up past her hips. The view gave him nerve as he slowly began kissing down her body.</p><p>Charlie laid back on her elbows, letting him explore her with his lips. He kissed along her neck, down to her cleavage. He marveled at how his decent sized hand hardly covers one boob. Especially pressed firmly against her body under the tight dress.</p><p>Jensen lowered himself down to her legs, moving both her ankles to his shoulders. He slowly started to come back up, kissing her calves and thighs.</p><p>Charlie watched him closely as he gradually rose. His head between her legs but too far away from her pussy. She needed him. She kept her elbows planted to the counter as Jensen moved her legs up past her hips. Keeping them straight at the knee, he never let them bend. He held her ankles in place on his shoulders, securing them.</p><p>Charlie caught on, his intentions becoming clear to her. "You testin' the flexible feature?" Charlie said sarcastically, making Jensen laugh.</p><p>He went forward some more, with both her legs on either side of his face, bending them farther into her chest. Like a pretzel and he loved it.</p><p>Jensen's lips met Charlie's for a quick wet kiss before he muttered, "Yes."</p><p>He gave her a wicked smiled. Charlie began to bend her knees, letting them move to her shoulders. She plants her feet against his firm, hard chest and pushes Jensen away playfully.</p><p>Charlie slowly moved one leg straight up past her head, then reached up to her shoe. Giving Jensen a perfect view of her underwear, concealing her wet pussy. She works on undoing her shoe and lets it fall to the floor. Repeating the process on the other leg, teasing Jensen even more.</p><p>Charlie loved the feeling of Jensen watching her. She could see him breathing heavy, a bulge clearly outlined in his pants.</p><p>When she throws the other shoe on the floor, she jumps down lightly and walks more into the apartment. Jensen watched her every move through lust-filled eyes.</p><p>"Well, Mr. Ackles. Oh, I'm sorry. Jensen,” she said, fake correcting herself. “Love the place. Very bachelor pad, loving dad. Homey. That being said… I do believe you owe me a special talent," Charlie said.</p><p>Jensen's head went to the side, confused until he remembered what she was talking about. He began to move towards her, but Charlie just slowly backed away, teasing him even more.</p><p>"It's not very attractive," he said.</p><p>Charlie smiles a wicked smile as Jensen kept advancing towards her. She began to walk backward in the direction of his bedroom.</p><p>"I don't think you have to worry about that," she answers. Have you seen yourself?</p><p>Jensen was reluctant.</p><p>"Show me, please," she said with the sweetest tone and a needy look. She stopped at the bedroom doorway.</p><p>Jensen stopped a few feet from her. Letting out a sigh, "I can make both of my eyes go two different ways like a lizard."</p><p>Charlie watched him weigh if he was going to do it or not. "Please," she said.</p><p>Jensen did the trick with his eyes. Making her laugh a loud sweet-sounding laugh in surprise. He ran to her, grabbing her by the hips and tossing her over his shoulder.</p><p>Charlie began to giggle as she smacked his ass, telling him to put her down. Jensen walks into his bedroom, throwing her on the bed. He quickly falls between her legs as she continued to laugh.</p><p>"No, laughing!" he yelled.</p><p>Jensen put some of his weight on her, moving to settle his lips on hers for a kiss. She stops laughing and begins to moan into his mouth, effectively distracting her from the previous moment.</p><p>Jensen begins to grind into her, causing Charlie to wrap her legs tightly around him. She needed to get as close to him as possible.</p><p>Charlie begins to pull Jensen's blazer off his shoulders. He helps by sliding it off his arms and throwing it over his head to the floor.</p><p>She moves her attention to his shirt, undoing each button one at a time, never leaving Jensen's lips. He puts his hands on her breasts again.</p><p>Jensen pulls away from their kiss, looking to confirm Charlie isn't wearing a bra. He looks up at her and loves the little grin on her face at that moment.</p><p>As she rested there, her long brown hair laid across the bed, framing waves around her face. Her reddish-brown eyes, looking up at Jensen with desire and excitement. Her cheeks flushed, and her lips swollen from his assaults. Below him, she is rubbing her hips against his hard dick in a pleasant rhythm.</p><p>Making eye contact with her and holding her stare, Jensen lowers his lips to the top of her left breast and begins to suck on the skin and fat.</p><p>Charlie's head hits the mattress as she feels his lips touch her breasts. She pushed her chest up into his touch, craving more of the feeling.</p><p>Jensen slowly pulled the dress down past her breasts, causing them to fall free from their confinement. Being exposed to the air caused her nipples to harden. Jensen takes them one by one into his mouth, biting down just a little, making Charlie groan under him.</p><p>Jensen continues to pull the dress down as he takes her left nipple back into his mouth, making Charlie stir under him. Her breathing begins to pick up as she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on her.</p><p>The feeling between Charlie's legs, getting harder and harder to ignore. She brings her hand to his head, pushing him closer to her skin. Trying to touch him in any way she could. When she begins to tug on his hair, Jensen bites down hard on her nipple.</p><p>Charlie arches her back, whimpering in pain. She bites her lip, "Fuck," she says, savoring the sting.</p><p>She opens her eyes to his, as Jensen keeps his eyes on hers. Slowly moving down her body, bringing the dress with him. He pulls it past her belly button, revealing a birthmark and a tattoo. The birthmark was above her right hip bone. The tattoo on the same, but on her waist over her ribs. The letters looked like Latin. Reading, ‘Si vis pacem, para bellum.’</p><p>Jensen grazed his lips over them, wondering what the tattoo meant, but couldn’t bring himself to ask at that moment.</p><p>Charlie bites down on her lip as Jensen gets closer to where she wants him to be. Ever since Jensen's lips kissed hers that day at the bar, Charlie wondered what that mouth could do. His kisses were breathtaking, literally. They made her melt into him. When their lips are together, it's like he has this shy little spec of dominance. He keeps it in check, holds it at bay. But the moment you let him have a taste, he's hot-blooded.</p><p>Jensen had this way about him. He was strong and sometimes surly looking. Always seeming like he's serious or concentrating really hard. But he's a softie. He is delicate and thoughtful. His mannerisms and habits prove all this.</p><p>Charlie knew, she may not have known this man for long, but she knew this. It's something that intrigued her so much. He loved wholeheartedly, tenderly, but aggressively.</p><p>She had to admit to herself, it had been a long time she felt this excited. Even so, she doesn't remember it being this fulfilling. Jensen made her willfully terrified but thrillingly excited. She knew he was this little enigma she had to peel away at to get to the juicy parts. Charlie had her shy side, but so did he. That enticed her. The idea of this beautiful specimen of a man doing dirty things to her made her more excited than she could ever explain.</p><p>Jensen slides off the bed and stands to his feet. Staying in between her legs, he looks down at her. With Charlie laid out on the bed, her breasts free, he goes down to grab her ankles, bringing her left one into the air.</p><p>She watches him with narrow eyes as he lightly lays kisses along the inside of her calve, slowly working up to her inner thigh. The feeling made Charlie lose some of her control, she begins to squirm on the bed.</p><p>Jensen placed a final kiss on her inner thigh before moving back up to kiss her stomach, just above her belly button. She looked down at him and saw a teasing crooked smile as he came up to her lips again for a kiss.</p><p>Jensen moves back out of the kiss, standing upright. Charlie moves to lean on her elbows, getting a better view as Jensen removes his shirt.</p><p>After he throws the shirt on the ground, Charlie uses her foot to lightly tug at his belt with her toe, telling him to take it off. He strips down to his boxers, revealing his very obvious erection creating a tent in his pants.</p><p>Charlie cherished the knowledge of her being the reason he was hard. The idea that this sumptuous human being wanting her, made her panties so wet.</p><p>She sits up, getting to her feet. Jensen watching her as she turns them around and pushes him on the bed. She climbs on over, straddling him. Jensen's hands instinctively move up to meet hers, giving her some extra balance as Charlie sits atop him. She took his hands, sitting back on him for a second, getting comfortable. Then moved to bring both their hands over his head. Her dark brown hair fanning over the sides of their face as their heads align.</p><p>Jensen's core trembles. Overcome with the emotions rushing through him as he realizes how gorgeous and remarkable she is. He looked up at her, getting lost in her eyes, two abysses, both a blend of reddish chestnut and dark chocolate.</p><p>Charlie moves her face to meet his lips, leaving a sweet kiss on them. She let go of his hands, moving to hold herself up.</p><p>Charlie begins to move back and forth over his hard and very erect cock, making Jensen pull from the kiss and throw his head back into the mattress. She plants kisses on his neck and chin as she feels his dick move against her folds. She continued to move over him, feeling her underwear getting wetter and wetter with each brush of her hips.</p><p>"Are you sure about this, Charlie?" Jensen asks, looking up over her face for any inkling of doubt.</p><p>Charlie just collided her lips to his again, confirming her decision.</p><p>Jensen leans up into the kiss, putting his hands around her waist. He flipped them, making him on top. He kissed her lips for a second, moving to suck on her bottom one, making Charlie moan under him.</p><p>"God, I fucking love it when you do that," she said.</p><p>Jensen kissed her neck and began to move slowly down her body. He kisses each of her breasts before migrating down, tucking his fingers under the fabric, he slides her underwear down with him.</p><p>Jensen passes her belly button, leaving meek kisses along the way. Charlie watched him with lust blown pupils as he continued to kiss all the way to her sex.</p><p>Spreading her open he sees how wet she is for him and moved down to plant a kiss right on her clit. Charlie threw her head back, arching her spine, and just allowed herself to feel this.</p><p>Jensen leaned in sticking his tongue out, pushing it deep into her folds and gliding it down her pussy making Charlie moan so deep he could feel it against his tongue.</p><p>He dived into her hole, getting all the moisture with his tongue, bringing it back up to her clit, and working it.</p><p>Charlie began to stir under him. He wrapped his arms around her hips, holding her in place as he relentlessly worked her pussy.</p><p>Jensen moved up and down her folds. He dived his tongue into her hole and back up to her clit, tasting all of her. Charlie continued to moan, writhing around, trying to stay grounded as he eats her out.</p><p>Jensen pushes two fingers into her, flicking at her clit with his tongue. Charlie puts both her hands on Jensen's head, not knowing what to do with herself. She pushed him harder into her as she sensed her climax creeping up.</p><p>She tried closing her legs around the feeling. Jensen stopped her, spreading one of her legs with his free hand. He pushed the leg deep into the mattress.</p><p>Jensen worked his fingers in and out of her, getting her more and more wet for him. He could feel her walls wavering around his fingers. When she took her hands off his head to grab a pillow and covered her screams, Jensen took his fingers out suddenly and stood up from the bed.</p><p>Charlie's legs went limp, falling open as she worked to regain her breathing. She hadn't even gotten fucked yet and she couldn't remember the last time she was edged that hard.</p><p>Jensen went over to the nightstand to grab a condom. He walked back over, looking down at Charlie as she took the pillow off her face. She looked up at him as she sat back up, sliding to the edge of the bed.</p><p>Looking at him, she reached forward, pulling the fabric of his underwear down. Fuck. Biting her lip, she looks back up at him. Jensen leaned down to kiss her lips.</p><p>"And I fucking love it when you do that," he said, into her mouth.</p><p>Charlie grabbed the magnum from his hand, breaking it open with her teeth. She rolled it on him, pinching the head before she slides back on the bed.</p><p>Charlie's eyes, never leaving Jensen’s, moves to open her legs for him. Jensen looked down at her one final time before he climbed onto the bed, landing in between her legs. Hovering over her, he tenderly kissed her lips, adding fervor and passion.</p><p>They kissed for a couple of minutes, both feeling the other's body while their tongues danced.</p><p>Charlie eventually pulls out of the kiss, moving her head to look up into his eyes. "Jensen, please," she said, pleading for him.</p><p>To hear her beg was all he needed. He shifted his weight to one arm and used the other to align with her hole. Charlie opened herself up wider for him, making it easier to slide in.</p><p>Looking at her, Jensen watches her eyes close with a gasp as she feels the size of him. She squeezes her arms around him, moaning and biting her lip as he stretches her. Putting his weight back on both arms, Jensen thrusts in farther.</p><p>Charlie panting harder, taking deeper breaths with every inch of him. "Oh fuck." she sighs, digging her nails into his back. He kisses her lips, muffling her sobs.</p><p>When Jensen felt he was in far enough, he stayed there, letting her adjust to him. Both kissing and basking in the feeling of each other.</p><p>Charlie, needing more, pushed herself up into him. Jensen obliged and began to move. He started with slow deep strokes, making Charlie move out of the kiss, crying another intense moan.</p><p>Jensen moves at a delectably slow pace, getting more intense with every stroke. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer to her.</p><p>Charlie leaves kisses against his shoulder as he lays his head against hers, getting into a rhythm. She moans into his neck, breathing and trying to pace herself not to cum so easily. Charlie could feel her body slowly coming undone with how deep he was going. She laid her head back and relaxed her body as best she could as he moved into her.</p><p>Jensen worked, leaving kisses along her jaw and neck. Charlie rubs her hands against his backside, then moves to pull his hair. She pulls his face to hers, colliding their lips together again.</p><p>As the kiss deepened, Jensen sped up his pace, pushing Charlie hard into the mattress. She began to moan loudly into his mouth. He could feel her walls clenching around him as he kept up the pace, causing her to unravel beneath him.</p><p>"Oh…my...god. Fuck," Charlie moaned into his ear as her orgasm comes on. "Please don't stop."</p><p>Jensen fucked into her more, before slowing his pace, not wanting to come yet. Charlie grumbles under him, feeling her body react as he denied her a release again. As Jensen moved in for a kiss, Charlie started moving her hips up to meet his slow thrusts, trying to make herself cum.</p><p>With their bodies crashing together, and her muscles tightening around him, Jensen knew he was cumming soon. Using his left hand, he pulled at Charlie's thighs. Jensen guided them around and under his torso. He rested her ankle on his shoulder, changing the position.</p><p>Jensen adjusts his weight and begins to quickly thrust in and out of her. He brings his head down to hers as they both neared their orgasm. Charlie screamed. The feeling of him hitting deeper from a different angle, sending her over an edge.</p><p>She places her hands over her breasts, holding them still and squeezing them hard as she begins to finally have her orgasm.</p><p>Jensen could feel her cumming, and began harder strokes, causing her body to tighten under him.</p><p>Charlie moved her legs around his hips as the intensity of the orgasm rolls through her. Her walls, gripping his dick tight, bringing him closer and closer with each stroke.</p><p>Jensen could feel the intense build up his body was enduring. He worked to hold himself back. Striving to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible. The amazing and tightly gripped sensation of moving deep inside of her.</p><p>It had been a while since anything felt this good. A long time since he was able to let himself go this hard. Prolonging his release, not wanting it to end.</p><p>Compared to him quickly working towards his release, needing or wanting it to be over. Not being able to immerse himself in the all-consuming sensation that is the true beauty of sex. The sight and feel of her under you, taking every inch and action you give her. The sounds of her cries, moans, and pleads. The taste of her lips, sex, and sweat. The sight of seeing yourself move in and out of her. Your movements, the very thing causing the heat, moans, and sensations. To see her surrendered under you.</p><p>Charlie bites down on her lower lip, trying to hold in her moans as he ruthlessly thrusts into her. Her eyes begin to roll to the back of her head. Her chest lifts off the bed as she feels another orgasm coming on, this one equally intense.</p><p>Jensen watches her closely as she cums beneath him again.</p><p>Within seconds he was cumming hard into the condom. He grunted strongly into her neck, letting his orgasm consume him. Jensen thrusts into her a few more times, emptying himself. Feeling spent, he pulls out and rests his head against her shoulder.</p><p>Both lost in their own minds. They looked off in the distance, Charlie staring up at the ceiling, Jensen staring forward out his bedroom window. Both, taking in the satisfying result of their actions. WOW, they both thought, breathing slowly, coming down from their euphoria.</p><p>After a moment, Charlie becomes anchored back to reality. She smiles to herself, remembering it all and feeling very grateful. Jensen was phenomenal in every sense of the word. Charlie didn't have to lay there, feeling regretful of her actions. Reliving the night and realizing all the steps along the way where she fucked up. She didn't have to bring herself down from the brink of an emotional meltdown. Like she had with any other person she slept with after Matt.</p><p>Jensen wasn't something to regret. She wasn't just a pretty face he had to fuck. Kinda. He wasn't pulling away and getting dressed, with some excuse to walk out of the door. He laid there, in her arms, all sweaty, warm and delightful. He began working patterns with his finger on her chest, just below her clavicle. She placed kisses on the top of his head, stroking his hair. Neither of them moving away for a few minutes.</p><p>Eventually, Jensen finally gets up slowly, taking the condom off. He ties it and throws it in the trash in his bathroom. Following suit, Charlie gets up. She feels a little weird for a second, walking around completely naked. But she settled her nerves by giving him a peck as they walk past each other.</p><p>She went into the bathroom to wash her face off, thankful her makeup made it through the night. When she comes back out to the room, she doesn't see him. She looked over to the bed and found the throw pillows on the floor and the comforter pulled out. The bed was ready for them to jump in.</p><p>When she heard a noise in the closet next to the bathroom, she peeks in to find Jensen in his boxers going through his drawers. She stood at the door, watching him until he turned to leave and saw her there. Giving her a big smile, he walked over and gave her a sweet kiss. He handed her a pair of clean boxers and a large t-shirt.</p><p>"Unless you wanna sleep naked. I can dig that," Jensen said, winking at her.</p><p>Charlie makes an uncertain face, then grabs them out of his hand. "Nope, I'm good," she said with a chuckle.</p><p>She walked into the room, putting the clothes on. Giggling at how big his clothes were on her. His boxers barely staying on. Her hips the only things keeping them up. The shirt was long, her chest filled in the top. Prominently displaying the 'Family Business Beer Company' emblem across them.</p><p>"Love it. You can keep that" Jensen said.</p><p>Charlie grins, “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he said with another kiss.</p><p>Jensen walked into the living room, grabbing both of their phones. He handed hers over, and she checked the time.</p><p>"Jeez, it's 12:20?" she looked at Jensen guilty. "I'm sorry, I know you have to get up early," she said.</p><p>Jensen climbed onto the bed, pulling Charlie's hand to make her follow.</p><p>"I have absolutely no complaints. Not one. It was completely worth it,” he said with a smirk.</p><p>Charlie smiled and climbed onto the bed, turning her back to his chest and laying against him. Jensen reached behind, turning the lamp light off, darkening the room. He wraps his arms tightly around Charlie, resting his chin on her shoulder.</p><p>“I’m gonna be gone early. So I’m probably not gonna be here when you wake up,” he said into her ear.</p><p>Charlie bit her lip, loving the sound of him so close. She snuggled closer into him. Jensen felt her move closer and rolled his chest with a light chuckle. He tightens his embrace on her.</p><p>"Thank you for tonight,” Charlie said.</p><p>"Anytime," Jensen followed, very low, as they both settled down in the dark.</p><p>Within minutes, exhausted from their night, they both slowly drifted into a deep relaxing sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Swing of Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*EXPLICIT CONTENT*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hearing an airplane motor fly by, Charlie opened her eyes to a bright light. She stirred against the warm pillow, turning her head away from the brightness. Looking around to a darker room and an empty bed. She turns back to the light, wondering where it was coming from. Seeing the sun trying to peek through the seam where the two black-out curtains meet. Creating a glow around the window frame.</p><p>Charlie slowly woke, feeling heavenly and well rested. She moved over to the other side of the bed, beginning to remember the night before. <strong><em>He did say he was going to be gone when I woke. </em></strong>She nuzzled into his pillow, finding the faint smell of Jensen. Moving over to the nightstand, blindly reaching for her phone, she checks the time.</p><p>-- 6:45 AM—</p><p>Charlie gets up from the bed, looking for her watch she swore she left on the nightstand. She walked into the living room. Taking the time to look around more thoroughly since Jensen wasn't there</p><p>As she's walking through, Charlie sees a picture of his daughter, and she almost melts. <strong><em>Oh my god, she looks just like him! That smile. Those cheeks! She’s a girl version of Jensen! </em></strong>She goes on to find other pictures as she walks through the apartment learning little things about him.</p><p>Charlie goes outside on the patio, breathing in the beautiful morning. She takes a moment to appreciate feeling weightless, knowing when the high would fade, the guilt would come.</p><p>As she gets back inside, she finds a note on the counter, laying against her watch. It was written in perfectly capitalized writing.</p><p>GOOD MORNING,</p><p>I DIDN’T WANT TO TEXT YOU AND WAKE YOU UP. ALSO DIDN’T WANT TO TURN YOUR PHONE ON VIBRATE. WENT OLD FASHION, I WROTE A NOTE.</p><p>HELP YOURSELF TO ANYTHING. CALL ME WHEN YOU WAKE UP. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.</p><p>X J</p><p>P.S LOVE YOUR WATCH. ;)</p><p> </p><p>She smiled to herself,<strong><em> He’s so perfect. I’m keeping this note forever.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie grabbed her watch off the counter, inspecting it. It seemed cleaner. It’s a stainless steel, Blue Breitling watch. The watch was a gift from her uncle Ronny. He gave it to her after she graduated in May. She wasn’t a watch person, Charlie usually hated things around her wrists. But Ronny’s philosophy was “People take people, who wear watches, seriously”. So, Charlie began to wear it regularly. Now she wears it every day. She found that she used her phone less, which she liked. She had no idea if it was worth anything. She didn’t care. She loved the simplicity and classiness of it.</p><p>Putting the watch back on, Charlie does as she is told, texting Jensen. Within minutes, he responded. Jensen told her he organized a ride back to her hotel. Charlie, feeling pampered, got the ride and got back to the hotel. She was able to get there before her workday started.</p><p>Maggie was still asleep, so Charlie kept it quiet getting in. As Charlie walks around, she gradually begins to feel the effects of her night of astounding sex. She started to feel tender and sore when she moved her body in certain ways.</p><p>Eventually, Charlie showered and changed for her day, wearing a band t-shirt and skinny jeans. Going with the usual dress down Friday theme.</p><p>As she worked, Charlie tirelessly tried to ignore the giant boulder beginning to weigh on her. She slept with Jensen.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>He was phenomenal. He is phenomenal. But what does this mean? He's still married, Charlie. Maybe you should have waited. Why does this feel so different? Why can’t I control myself around him. Why do I feel guilty every time he's not around?</em> </strong>
</p><p> Charlie had to distract herself. She needed to feel okay. She needed reassurance. So, she began texting Jensen. The two of them going back and forth throughout the rest of the morning while he was on location.</p><p>They both began to feel more and more comfortable with one another. Jensen’s official nickname for Charlie becoming ‘Maeson’. Using it sporadically throughout their conversations and she loved it.</p><p>Jensen told her about his directing duties. He was set to direct three episodes this final season and he was currently planning for them. Charlie became more and more surprised by his many… talents</p><p>Around 11 AM Maggie strolled out of her room, finding her way to Charlie in the sitting area of the suite.</p><p>"Morning sleepy-head. Miss me?" Charlie said as Maggie went to sit across from her on the couch. Maggie was not the best when she first woke. She was grumpy and Charlie loved provoking her.</p><p>"A little. How was last night?" Maggie asked through sleepy eyes.</p><p>"Good," Charlie said, hoping she wouldn't push the matter.</p><p>Maggie looked at Charlie with a stern look. "Woman, I stayed up all night waiting for you to come home. Then eventually it became, you weren't coming home. I didn't want to incessantly text you. I wanted to give you space. Let you have your night of adventure."</p><p>"Thank you for not incessantly texting. I know. I just got so wrapped up. I'm sorry."</p><p>"I woke up on the couch with the TV on around 4AM. Couldn't go to sleep for a while. Watched some TV and then passed out at some point," Maggie said, changing tones. "You didn't come home last night, missy," she said, pointing at Charlie. "I want answers. Or rather, details. I already know the answers."</p><p>"Calm down. Nothing happened."</p><p>“You're lying because you have that dumb fucking grin on your face. You’re glowing. Like someone who was up all night getting good and fucked. Don’t tell me nothing happened. Things happened…Don’t give me your deflection. Spill?"</p><p>Charlie rolls her eyes. "It was nice. I had a nice time. He was a gentleman. Then we went to his place and fell asleep. I woke up this morning in his apartment alone. He got me a ride back. I felt special," Charlie said.</p><p>"I call bullshit."</p><p>"I didn't take a picture of the car, but the driver's name was Cliff…" Charlie's face fell as Maggie looked at her with a dead stare. "Can't you just let me live in it for a little," Charlie said.</p><p>Maggie woke up and her face turned into a knowing smile. "You did sleep with him. Didn't you!" Charlie bit her lip, trying to avoid her eyes. "Yes!" Maggie yells, excited. Adding to her excitement with clapping.</p><p>Charlie gave her friend a bewildering look. "Really?"</p><p>"Was he good?!"</p><p>"Aaand, we're done. Not doing this.”</p><p>"Oh my god, he was. Wasn't he? Ugh. The things I would let that man do to me."</p><p><strong><em>I'm with you on that one.</em></strong> "Mags! … Fine, I'll disclose some details if you tell me two things," Charlie says.</p><p>Maggie looks at her assertive, “What?”</p><p>"One, what's going on with you and Derrick? Cause you're avoiding the subject. Two, but more importantly, what's going on with Olivia?!" Charlie asked.</p><p>"Fine," Maggie said, looking at Charlie with a winning smile. "I am rightfully ignoring Derrick after I was able to confirm with his sister that yes, he had an affair. I don't want to touch on that right now. Also, nothing happened with Olivia, per se. I went to her house that night. We chilled and talked about things. We hooked up, as in kissing. That was it. We woke up the next day, had a greasy breakfast. We've been texting. Just taking long strides."</p><p><strong><em>That makes one of us.</em></strong> "Oh, Jesus…Misha," Charlie said, coming to a realization.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm- I'm practically fucking Jensen and your days from fucking his assistant," she said with a sign. "Remember when coming to Vancouver was a getaway, not a get into new and more complicated things."</p><p>"Yeah, but I needed this, and so did you. Now. DETAILS!"</p><p>"You can understand why I’m apprehensive. Right?"</p><p>"I know. I can be a bit much sometimes."</p><p>"I need to know you're not going to repeat these details. Not to me at my expense. Not to Olivia. Or Misha! Or anyone!"</p><p>"Alright, I won't, not about this. I know it's more serious than…"</p><p>Charlie knew where she was going and rolled her eyes. "Gabby," Charlie said through gritted teeth. "Fine. But ask questions. I'm not giving a play by play."</p><p>"How was the date?"</p><p>"Good, it was private, romantic, and unique."</p><p>"Did you have sex?"</p><p>"I thought I already established we did."</p><p>"Yeah. But I need you to like actually say it."</p><p>"Oh my god," Charlie said, putting her hand to her face. She was over the conversation. "Yes, we had… sex." Charlie hesitated at the last word. It felt weird to fall off her tongue.</p><p>"Yeah, I need you to say, I HAD SEX WITH JENSEN ACKLES."</p><p>"Fuck you,” she says with a laugh. “Jesus Margaret. Get a grip.”</p><p>"CHARLIE! I am living vicariously through you. I need this!"</p><p>Charlie gave Maggie a baffled look again. "No,” sternly.</p><p>"Charlie..."</p><p>Charlie let out a sigh, pausing a beat, "I had sex with Jensen Ackles," she said in a defeated tone.</p><p>Maggie let’s out a squeal and then hums, thinking dirty thoughts. “Was it good?!"</p><p><strong><em>Oh my god.</em></strong> "Yes."</p><p>"Did you use protection?" Charlie rolls her eyes again. "Yes. Mom."</p><p>"Is he big?"</p><p>Charlie diverted her eyes, reluctantly answering, "Yes."</p><p>Maggie nodded, taking in the information. "I knew it. How big?”</p><p>“Nope, drawing the line there.”<br/>“Fair. How good is good, though?"</p><p>Charlie sighed, remembering it and wanting it again. "So fuckin' good."</p><p>The thought alone made her cross her legs and squeeze her thighs shut. “Like multiple orgasms. Edging me to a release but denying me making it soooo much better when I finally did cum… good. <strong><em>God, I love and hate that I’m telling her this</em></strong>. And I know Jensen's holdin' back. He didn't fuck me last night. Not really. He made his version of love to me, and that shit was… amazing. I'm sore. Amazingly sore," Charlie finally admitted.</p><p>Maggie looked at her, wide eyed with excitement and imagination. Envisioning what Charlie was saying. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "Real shit, though. I'm glad you had an amazing time. I know this is unconventional for you. But you needed this. Whether this little thing you guys have is a fling or something for the long hall… you need to let yourself live sometimes Charlie. Stop being scared. No one is going to loose respect for you at this point. It’s been 5 years,” Maggie said.</p><p>"You think I'm rushing it with him?" Charlie nervously asks. "I mean, I'm not falling in love. Though with that kinda love making…” Charlie got lost in thought for a second, then pulled herself back to the present moment. “It's just… we have this attraction to each other. It's incredible. The relationship part is real, there's potential. I’m myself with him. I’m comfortable. Coming from me that’s a lot.” Maggie nods her head in agreement. “But it's also, … this, need for one another. I felt it the first night at the studio, the first moment we met, and in that room alone with him. He's this tempting soul that makes me feel at ease in his presence, but when we're together… It’s intense. I can't explain it."</p><p>"Sounds amazingly intense."</p><p>"Yeah. I'm just worried I'm..."</p><p>"Thinking with your vajayjay?"</p><p>Charlie lets out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess. I think part of me is."</p><p>"Probably. But it kinda seems like Jensen's the full package, babe. Smart, charming, gorgeous, sweet, and confirmed, a dime in bed. You ride this out as long as you see fit."</p><p>"I swear it's like you're playing devil's advocate."</p><p>"As I said, I live vicariously through you."</p><p>"What does that even mean?"</p><p>"It means, I've watched that man for the better part of 16 years. Even before Supernatural. I remember him in his 20's. You are living a lot of ladies' dreams right now. A lot of his fans are our age or younger." </p><p>Charlie becomes curious and grabs her laptop, typing his name into the search bar. She eagerly looks through the photos of him, looking at fan pages, his IMDB, social media, and falling speechless to it all.</p><p>"I shouldn't have done that," Charlie said. “Why didn’t I learn my lesson after doing this with Misha?”</p><p>"Yup," is all Maggie could say to Charlie's dumbfounded reaction. She stands up and pats her friend on the back as she goes to look out the window. "You’re livin' the dream, my friend."</p><p>Charlie sifted through more sites. Seeing all the movies, shows, and projects Jensen has done in the past. Making her recall all the times she read his name, saw his face, even in person, and never once paid him any mind. Not because he wasn’t worthy or gorgeous, but because she wasn’t. </p><p>Charlie begins to remember. She remembered Jensen was a heartthrob actor, plastered on the magazine covers, back when the show first came out. Before cell phones got big, and people relied on magazines to get their celeb juice. She remembered the posters on her college friends' walls of Sam and Dean. She remembered when he and Danneel got married and then pregnant. It was big news back then, with magazine covers and all. One Tree Hill badass model babe and Supernatural heartthrob tie the knot and expect a baby. She remembered the magazines would talk about how gorgeous their child would be if they ever had one. And, gorgeous she is.</p><p>The thing was, Charlie watched mostly movies and some shows. Mostly to see live adaptations to books, comics, or graphic novels. She just wasn't a fanatic. She admired things from afar. She had her hobbies, some of which included comic books. She grew up enjoying them. Charlie liked the graphics, color, creativity, and in-depth intricate stories. As she got older, she watched movies, went to the cons. She shared the interest with a cousin, Riley, on her dad's side. He's the one that did all the cons and collected memorabilia. <strong><em>I wonder if he knows about Supernatural? Probably.</em></strong></p><p>She wasn’t a comic book nerd, per se, but it was something she enjoyed. Suffice it to say, she’s been to a few San Diego Comic Cons. At least when Maggie or her can get tickets because they sell out so quickly. <strong><em>Now I know why.</em></strong></p><p>After reading more in-depth about the fans and world that was J2M and Supernatural, Charlie shuts her laptop and shakes her head getting up from the couch. "I’ve read enough for one day,” Charlie said, turning back to Maggie who was sitting on her phone. “You can take the car today. I'm not going anywhere. I have meetings all day. I'm beat."</p><p>"I'm sure you are," Maggie says with a hard laugh.</p><p>Charlie gives her an ambiguous look.</p><p>"You sure? You're not going to see Jensen later or anything," Maggie asked.</p><p>"Nah, and if so, I'll figure it out. Right now, I have no plans. I've been running around and handling shit. I haven't had a lot of time to just sit down and relax."</p><p>"What are you doing tomorrow?"</p><p>"We're going scouting. Remember for your portfolio?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, shit. I forgot."</p><p>"We can cancel it."</p><p>"No, no-no. I just honestly forgot. I feel like last Sunday was forever ago. I didn't realize tomorrow is Saturday."</p><p>"I know, right…I'll send you the info, so you know what kind of equipment to bring. Just have to be back that night. I have a flight to SeaTac Sunday."</p><p>"Shit, really? What about talkin' to Richard about extending your stay?"</p><p>"Oh, done. He said that's fine. I just need to handle some work stuff Monday. I'll be back."</p><p>Maggie made plans for the night, taking the rental with her. Telling Charlie not to expect her till the morning.</p><p>Charlie went back to work and finalized details for the weekend. Her Jensen continued texting back and forth, even talking on the phone at some point.</p><p>Jensen offered to go over and hang out with Charlie. Keeping her company while Maggie is gone for the night. Charlie, of course, immediately agreed.</p><p>Around 8:30 Charlie hears a knock at the door. She opens the door to a tired but happy looking Jensen. She gestured for him to come in, and took him in for an embrace once the door was closed. "I hated leaving you this morning," he said as she held onto him.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"You were so peaceful. You felt so good to wake up to. I just wanted to stay in bed for a little longer."</p><p>"What time did you get up?"</p><p>"Four."</p><p>"Oh. Poor baby," Charlie said in a sweet and teasing tone. She moved in to peck his lips for a quick kiss. Loving how natural that action felt. "Are you tired?"</p><p>"I was. I'm fine now though," Jensen said, moving more into the suite. He begins to look around. "I thought I was going to get a call from Misha saying you yelled at him or something. I spoke to him. He seemed pleasantly oblivious."</p><p>"I could never yell at Misha. Have you seen that adorable face?" Charlie wrapped her arms around Jensen's neck. "Those brilliant blues… my god."</p><p>Jensen squeezes her, pretending to dislike her joke.</p><p>Charlie laughs, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."</p><p>Jensen gave her a quick kiss before pulling away. "I'm surprised you didn't say anything."</p><p>"Ahh, I don't really want to push it. I was blindsided, but for a second, I allowed myself to think about leaving a job I've had for 7 years. I'm just going to let the chips fall where they may."</p><p>Jensen and Charlie ordered food and settled in on the couch. They streamed a movie and distracted each other from the plot at times. They were talking and  kissing as the TV played in the background. Trying to add some sustenance to their eagerly blooming relationship.</p><p>After the film, they headed off to bed. Jensen walked around the room, settling in. Charlie, already laying down in the bed waiting, peacefully watching him. He climbed on the bed towards her, moving to lay his chest against her back. They both laid there for a while, still not going to sleep.</p><p>"Jensen?" Charlie said, wondering if he was still awake.</p><p>"Charlie?” he said, matching her tone.</p><p>"What is this?" Charlie asked.</p><p> Jensen was rubbing his hand up and down her side under the sheets. She pretends it's not affecting her in any way. <strong><em>It is. But, I wanna be good.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie turns her body to him with the light of the moon shining in, and she tucked her head under his chin. "I just mean…what exactly are we doing?"</p><p>Jensen kissed her forehead, loving that she covered her face to clarify that, being shy. "What do you want this to be?"</p><p>"I don't know. I haven't done this in a while. I'm just kind of going with it. I guess."</p><p>"Honestly… I don't know. A week ago, I was taking the abstinent route. Now I'm lying next to you. I don't know what to make of it because I never saw you coming. I thought I was done feeling anything for anyone… but here you are," Jensen said, using his finger to trace rings along her hips, gripping it ever so often. "How are you feeling… about it all?" he asked. "I know your processing a lot.”</p><p>"I'm okay. I'm taking it one day at a time."</p><p>"Sometimes, that's all you can do."</p><p>"What about you?" Charlie asks, moving her head to meet his eyes. She rested it against his forearm.</p><p>"I was in a bad place. I don't know, maybe I still am. But meeting you has made me feel like I'm coming up for air. I find that I just want to be around you, but I also don't want to chase you away."</p><p>Charlie giggled, "I don't think that's possible."</p><p>"That's good to know."</p><p>Jensen moves forward to place a sweet kiss on her lips. As they touched, Charlie couldn't hold back. She pressed herself into him and wrapped her arm around his neck, needing more.</p><p>Jensen deepens the kiss, causing Charlie to moan into him. She feels him stop and begin to pull out of the kiss. He wrapped his hand around her arm, gently pulling her from him. Charlie looks up at him feeling rejected.</p><p>"Charlie... I can't," Jensen said, seeing her face. Charlie pulls away, slowly turning back around. "I'm sorry. I… I just don't want you to think I came here for sex." Jensen pushes into her, making her feel his growing erection. "Trust me. I want you. I don't want to make you feel like that's all this needs to be," he said against her ear.</p><p>Charlie takes his hand, currently over her waist, and brings it to her lips. She slowly lands moist kisses against his knuckles and fingertips. She feels him go rigid against her as she takes his index and middle finger into her warm mouth.</p><p>She began sucking on them. Working them in and out before turning her head, leaving a lingering kiss under his chin. She moves to slowly brush his hand down her body, leading to the front of her underwear.</p><p>Jensen lets her take charge as she moves his fingers, sliding them under the thin fabric. Charlie opens her legs, giving him more access as she lowers his hands. Getting excited, she slides her body flat on the mattress.</p><p>Jensen laying on his side, propped up on his elbow. She leans up to leave a kiss on his neck again as she pushes his fingers more into her folds.</p><p>Charlie lets out a delicate moan, finally feeling him against her wet pussy. She rocked her hips against his fingers, repeating the motion.</p><p>Jensen knew Charlie's game. Tried as he did, he couldn't hold back. Feeling her get really wet, Jensen pulled his hand away quickly. He pulled down her panties. Shifting his position giving his hand better access to her pussy. He leads his index and middle finger through her folds, adding extra pressure. </p><p><strong><em>Oh, god, Yes.</em></strong> Charlie immediately responds to the pressure, closing her legs to the remarkable sensation. She moves her hands down to his, wanting to control the rhythm.</p><p>Jensen pulls away from her grasp and moves back to her pussy. He lowers his fingers to her hole and forcibly drives them into her. Charlie moans loudly into his neck, surrendering to him.</p><p>Jensen lowers his face to meet her lips, taking them into a deep kiss. He circles his fingers inside of her, making her pull away from his mouth with a cry. He moves his thumb to work circles on her clit, making Charlie squirm. She pushes her body into him, pressing her face against his chest.</p><p>Charlie begins to buck into his fingers as the sensations of them inside of her make her breathless and panting. Jensen began to pump into her faster, making Charlie squeeze her thighs shut. The build-up inside of her becoming heavy. Her whole body becoming tense.</p><p>Jensen was unable to work in and out of her. Her thighs, holding them still inside of her.  Using his other hand, Jensen pulls her thighs open. He pinned her other leg down between both of his. Jensen began to pump mercilessly into her. Taking a fist full of her hair, he pulls it down, making Charlie's head meet his, before he dives his tongue into her mouth. Kissing her passionately, he holds her there as she moans deeply into his mouth.</p><p>Charlie tries to grab at his hand pumping into her, the feeling becoming too much.</p><p>"Ahh! " she screams. Charlie pulls away from his lips, looking down at the view of him, pumping his long strong fingers into her wet pussy.</p><p>With one hand pressed against his chest, she began to dig her nails into his skin. Charlie uses her other hand to grab his from around her thigh, intertwining their fingers. Throwing her head back, she keeps her legs open, riding him out.</p><p>Just as Charlie was about to cum, Jensen pulls his fingers out. He quickly pushes Charlie's legs closed and turns her to face the mattress. Jensen moves to his knees, carefully taking Charlie's wrists into his hands. He pulls them to her back, holding them together.</p><p>Jensen uses his other hand to slide his boxers down and off. He straddles her hips, her ass directly under him, lining himself up from behind. Making sure she can’t move.</p><p>Charlie tries to push her butt up to meet him, but he smacks her ass hard, making her yelp into the sheets. Jensen lines himself up from behind again. Without warning, in a single stroke he forcefully pushes into Charlie, making her scream into the mattress.</p><p>Feeling him stretching her so delightfully. Charlie, pushing into the pain and pleasure, involuntarily moving up into his thrust. Jensen thrusts in as deep as he can, then pulls out slowly. He repeats the process a couple of times. Feeling how tight she was.</p><p>Jensen lets go of her wrists and Charlie grips the sheets, feeling him hit that perfect spot. <strong><em>OH FUCK.</em></strong></p><p>"Is this what you wanted, baby?" Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie hummed at the sound of him calling her baby. She moved her hips side to side from under him, giving him an answer. <strong><em>Yes, please.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen lands another smack to Charlie's ass, making her wince and moan to the feeling. Charlie pushes her ass up to him again, wanting more. Jensen gives her another smack, harder this time.</p><p>“Ah! Jesus.” Charlie bites the mattress fabric, <strong><em>Yes, please don't stop.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen lets go of her wrists, letting them fall to the mattress. Charlie immediately moves her hands back, putting them around Jensen's thighs as he fucked deep into her from behind. She throws her face into the sheets, screaming and moaning uncontrollably.</p><p>Jensen pulls out of Charlie. He moves off of her, pulling her up to her knees. She spreads her legs open for him, pushing her ass in the air. He moves between her legs from behind. Jensen quickly positions himself from behind, sliding back into her with one deep thrust.</p><p>Charlie lets out a deep grunt, face planting into the mattress. She pushes against his thrusts as he worked into her. Charlie could feel him pleasantly hitting against her walls.</p><p>Jensen begins to thrust deeper and harder into her. Charlie loses it around him, grabbing at the fabric of the bed. She tries to anchor onto something as he works her.</p><p>She could feel the buildup within her and needed to get a release. She moved her pussy back and forth on his dick as he worked her. Charlie, feeling that tight coil build-up about to spring, but every time Jensen felt her getting close to cumming he pulled out. Kissing the skin on her back, helping her come back down from the precipice.</p><p>Charlie breathes heavily, desperately needing a release. She brings herself back down from her almost orgasm. Just to have Jensen slam back into her, repeating the process. Charlie begins to wine under him, adding to her moans. He felt so good inside of her, she needed to cum, but she needed him to let her.</p><p>When Jensen moves forward to pull at Charlie's hair, she arches her back, pushing into him even more. With his thrusts landing deeper, Charlie closed her eyes, basking in the amazing feeling of him moving in and out of her.</p><p>Jensen pulled her back to his chest, using his hands to grab around to her full breasts, squeezing them. Charlie knew Jensen was going to pull out again before she came. She laid her head back against his shoulder, relaxing her body against him. She worked on just feeling him and taking in every deep stroke.</p><p>Jensen turned his head to take her lips in for a kiss. Charlie began to feel the buildup again. She begins to tighten up around him.</p><p>Jensen pushes her forward, grabbing her hips and bucking into her. He pulls her ass closer to him as he feels her entire body beginning to convulse as her intense orgasm takes over.</p><p>He bent over Charlie back as her walls began to squeeze even tighter around him, making him lose his hold. About to cum, Jensen realizes he didn't put a condom on. He tries to pull out, but with Charlie still gripping him so hard, he's too late. Jensen shoots his load into her. He moans as he fills her walls and finishes himself inside of her.</p><p>When Charlie falls limp beneath him, he cursed at himself as he laid his head against her back. Both taking a minute to breathe and come down from their climaxes.</p><p>When Charlie calms down, she turns around, making him fall to the side. They met eyes, and Jensen looks worried.</p><p>Charlie grazed her fingers over his cheek, "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I didn't use a condom, and I couldn't pull out?" Jensen said, clearly worried.</p><p>Charlie lazily smiles. "I'm on birth control. It's okay. I'm sorry. I feel like that’s my fault."</p><p>Jensen visibly relaxes, and Charlie pulls him into her arms.</p><p>Both still sweaty, Jensen lays his head against her chest. "Thank god… no offense."</p><p>Charlie giggles at his words and plants kisses on top of his head. "No, I'm with you on that one."</p><p>Jensen turns his head up to meet hers. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking over her face. Feeling nervous he went too far.</p><p>"I'm perfect." She plants a kiss on his lips and pulls the blankets over them, feeling Jensen relax on top of her. "You're perfect." She says with a small chuckle, and Jensen enjoyed the vibration against his body.</p><p>"I aim to please, Maeson."</p><p>She smiles at his use of her last name. He closes his eyes, focusing on her rubbing circles on his back. Within minutes Jensen falls to sleep.</p><p>Charlie laid there for a little while, watching the stars and moon shining in. Watching as Jensen's breathing slowed, letting her know he was in a deep sleep.</p><p>Charlie needed to use the bathroom before going to bed. She didn’t mind Jensen cumming inside of her, she hated the feeling of condoms anyway. They were uncomfortable. The argument though, they just met. <strong><em>Not smart, Charlotte.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie slowly pushes Jensen off of her, looking at his beautiful and peaceful features as he slept. She slowly got up from the bed, using the bathroom. She went into the main suite getting a drink of water before heading back into bed.</p><p>She curled herself onto him again. Eventually, the feeling of him breathing calmed her overactive brain and slowly lulled her to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Over The Hills and Far Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>By the way, all the chapter titles are named after classic rock songs, mostly Zeppelin. Just like they do on Supernatural. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday August 24, 2019 7:26 AM - Vancouver, BC, Canada</p><p>Feeling rested after being able to sleep in, Jensen woke half naked, under heavy sheets. Looking over he found his arms wrapped around Charlie as she laid peacefully asleep on her stomach. Her legs tangled in his. Jensen let out a small chuckle, seeing their bodies so close. As if their skin needed to stay touching, but they equally wanted their space while sleeping.</p><p>Charlie's hair was all over her face and pillow. Their faces only inches apart, Jensen looked over her peaceful features admiring her beauty. He studied her face and memorized her freckles, beauty marks, and scars. Her little imperfections. He looked down at the silhouette of their bodies together.</p><p>Jensen smiled to himself as he remembered what occurred hours before.</p><p>Remembering how Charlie naturally submitted to him last night. Jensen had her almost cumming 4 times, after she not so subtly coerced him into sex. <strong><em>Not that I am complaining. Feel like I’m going to have my hands full with this one. She’s definitely something.</em></strong></p><p>He found her fascinating and wondered what other surprises she had in store for him. Or how she would react to the surprises he had for her.</p><p>Jensen wanted her last night, even though he tried to hold back. Actually, he wanted her yesterday morning when he woke up with a hard-on and had to take a cold shower.</p><p>There was something about Charlie. Every time Jensen thought he’s figured her out, something else intrigued him even more. She was a wallflower. The opposite of what he was used to. Charlie had an awesome personality. She was funny and enjoyed dry humor. Caring and kindhearted. Outgoing and friendly, but gentle and a badass. She was also, by all means, old fashion.</p><p>So, Jensen wondered if he lucked out with her being funny, smart, and beautiful, but possibly a bit too restrained in bed. He let a small part of himself go last night, desperately needing it. He was nervous it was too much or too soon. But she loved it and he was very grateful for that.</p><p>Jensen laid there for a few minutes, watching her sleep. He eventually unraveled himself from her. Slowly, as not to wake her. He wanted her to rest.</p><p>Jensen found his phone on the nightstand and checked the time.</p><p> --7:33AM--</p><p>He needed to shower and contemplated waking Charlie. He decided against it, not wanting to disturb her. Jensen headed into the shower. He made note of her shampoo brands because he loved the smell of her hair.</p><p>After he's showered, Jensen heads back into her room. Charlie was still fast asleep. He air dried himself off a bit as he slowly walked around the room, checking her little touches along the way. He checked out her clothes hanging, smiling with pride at her choice of band shirts.</p><p>Jensen often wondered if not playing instruments anymore meant she didn't listen to music either. He was relieved to find that not to be the case.</p><p>Jensen's attention was diverted to the sound of a door closing and someone calling Charlie's name just outside the room. He was unable to react as suddenly the door swung open.</p><p>Maggie barged into the room excitedly, not seeing Jensen standing near the closet, behind the door. </p><p>He stands frozen there naked and then quickly grabs one of Charlie's shirts covering his very exposed dick. The movement made Maggie look over to see him standing there, tall and naked.</p><p>Maggie reacted, almost falling off the bed. "Ahh, holy shit!" she yells, surprised.</p><p>Charlie, hearing the commotion, stirs in her sleep and opens her eyes. She looks over, seeing Jensen covering himself, then sees his face. She moves to sit up, about to say something, until she sees Maggie on the bed next to her.</p><p>"What the fuck? Mags!" Charlie yelled at Maggie as she sat frozen and speechless at a naked Jensen in front of her.</p><p>"Oh, Right. Sorry." she blinks, bringing herself back to reality, then looks at Charlie. "SORRY! SORRY!"</p><p>Maggie runs out of the room, shooting one final OMFG look at Charlie before she completely closes the door behind her. Charlie looks over at Jensen, horrified.</p><p> "I AM SO SO SORRY. She didn't know you were here. We don't really hide things, and we live together it's like a thing-” </p><p>"It's okay, Charlie," Jensen responds with a laugh. "That was …awkward," he says, scratching his head and looking at the door. "But it's cool. It's obvious she was surprised."</p><p>Charlie's put her hands to her face as she thought of her friend seeing him naked in the room.</p><p>"I mean, I probably shouldn't have been walking around your room naked," he said, bringing his boxers up covering himself. <strong><em>No. Don’t put them on. Damn it.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie began to bite a little at her lower lip as she remembered last night, and her cheeks burned. She took a physical inventory, and her body definitely felt sore. <strong><em>Worth it.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen devilishly smiled at Charlie, knowing exactly what she was thinking.</p><p>Charlie diverted her eyes towards the outside view of the city.</p><p> "She was probably coming to wake me up. We're hanging out today," she started to pull the sheets off to get off the bed.</p><p>"Girls day?" he asked as she walked over to him, moving up to her tippy toes and stretching her neck to land a quick kiss on his lips.</p><p>"Nature day," she said, looking him up and down, seeing and smelling he showered.</p><p>"Well, don't you smell familiarly fresh?" She said, winking at him.</p><p>Charlie walked over to the dresser, putting on loose clothes, throwing her hair up into a messy bun. Jensen still admired how good she looked.</p><p>She walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth, and Jensen leaned against the door frame, watching.</p><p>"What are you doing over the weekend?" Charlie asks as she goes to wash her face.</p><p>“Gonna meet Jared in a few hours. Help him with some stuff, maybe get some golfing in with him and Cliff before we meet Misha later tonight.”</p><p>"Golfing?" Charlie asks with a smirk. "You fancy."</p><p>Jensen goes over to her as she’s bent over the sink, scrubbing and rinsing her face. He stands close behind her, putting his hands on her hips, making her giggle into the sink. She wiggled her ass against him as Jensen pushed into her, biting his lip with a low moan.</p><p>He leans in, tightly gripping her hips, trying to hold back and not get too aroused by how good that felt. Charlie straightens up, backing more into him. She grabs a towel to dry her face, making eye contact with Jensen in the mirror. He dips his head down and kisses the small bit of skin on her neck, the shirt isn't covering.</p><p>Charlie turned around, putting her arms around his neck. "You big strong men go have fun playing your holes," she gives Jensen a smirk at her pun. "I will enjoy my time in nature, with the superfan who will most definitely make me regret not locking my door last night."</p><p>Jensen closes his eyes, almost forgetting about Maggie walking in on him a few minutes ago.</p><p>"Superfan?" he asks, kissing her forehead before moving out of the embrace.</p><p>"Yeah, I may have gone the better part of my life not exactly watching Supernatural … Well, I did, but... anyway. Maggie does."</p><p>"Gotcha," Jensen said, walking back into the room to finish dressing. </p><p>Charlie followed. "Don't worry, she's more of a Misha fan or whatever it is she said but, yeah."</p><p>Jensen thinks about what she said, turning to her with a brilliant smile.</p><p>“Well, hey. Either way. I'm so in if you are," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. Implying something between them and Maggie.</p><p>“Oh, So, you can make jokes about my friends, but I can't joke about yours?" Charlie asks with a huge smile pretending to be upset.</p><p>"Yes," he said, coming over to bring another kiss to her lips. "No. I’m just kidding. Also, I never said 'no' to Misha. That's just …different. With Misha it's different."</p><p>Charlie turns her head, looking at him. "Why?"</p><p>"That is a conversation for another time," Jensen says, throwing himself on the bed fully clothed now.</p><p>She looked at him with narrowed eyes, puzzled but intrigued.</p><p>"Wait, what?"</p><p>Jensen shrugs, not wanting to let on. Charlie looks at the door thinking of Maggie and then back to Jensen, who is now smiling triumphantly. "What am I missing?”</p><p>"Nothing," he says, still smiling.</p><p>"Is this like your ploy to get Maggie and me in bed or something? I'm down for another girl but not my Maggie," Charlie said teasingly.</p><p>Jensen's eyes turned dark; his winning smile fallen. "No?" Charlie says, knowing she won this one. "Hm. okay," she said with a shrug, turning back to the dresser.</p><p>Jensen gets up from the bed, moving back over to her and looping his arms around her. Diving his face into her neck, he squeezes her to him.</p><p> "I'm not going to divulge…yet."</p><p>"No, you're going to plant a seed, and now I'm going to be curious. Left wondering what the fuck you're talking about," Charlie said, turning around in his arms, pushing him playfully.</p><p>Jensen grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers.</p><p>"Let's just say Misha... is…a little… liberated," he said, stretching out the sentence, not knowing how to phrase it.</p><p>“Okay, now you're just fucking with me. I am going to start ignoring you."</p><p>"That's probably best."</p><p>"I will also ignore you, offering a threesome with my best friend."</p><p>Charlie began trying to twist his hand, knowing she wasn't strong enough to actually hurt him. Jensen laughs at her failed attempt as he pushes against the movement.</p><p>Charlie lets go, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into her.</p><p>"I told you, Maeson. I aim to please."</p><p>“Mhm. Come on, hot stuff. Let's get you coffee before you leave me."</p><p>When they came out of the room together, Maggie was still in her bedroom.  A few minutes later, Maggie came out. Charlie smiled to herself as she saw Maggie slowly getting closer to the kitchen, acting very shy. Something that rarely, if ever, happens. <strong><em>Maggie shy? Never.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen was sitting on the seat at the counter, looking down at his phone. He was sipping on his coffee when she comes around into the kitchen.</p><p>"Good Morning Maggie," Jensen says nonchalantly.</p><p>Maggie physically relaxes a bit.</p><p>"Morning, Jensen," she said back. Maggie, he looks at Charlie, who was watching her with a lifted brow. "Sorry about this morning, dude. I didn't know you were here, and … well, yeah. I'm just sorry."</p><p>Jensen looks up from his phone. "No worries." He shrugs, "Shit happens."</p><p>Maggie nods her head and continues with getting herself coffee. Charlie stands at the end of the kitchen, watching them both. She comes up with an idea.</p><p>"You guys want to get breakfast? Jensen, I can drop you off at your apartment after,” Charlie says.</p><p>Maggie and Jensen both look at her with ominous looks and then look at each other.</p><p>"I'll take that as a no,” Charlie finished.</p><p>"No!" they both said in unison.</p><p><strong><em>Uhh, okay. Weird.</em></strong> Charlie looked at them weird now.</p><p>“I mean, I'm down," Jensen said.</p><p>"Yeah, I'd prefer going out," Maggie adds.</p><p>“What time do you meet Jared?” Charlie asked Jensen. </p><p>“I have time.” He says, giving her a wink.</p><p>“Great.” </p><p>Charlie and Maggie take a couple minutes before heading out. The three made small talk with one another as Charlie drove. They pulled up to Café Medina, and Jensen smiles. They get out of the car and head in.</p><p>Jensen takes Charlie, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Comin' back for more, huh?" he said into her ear as they walked into the place.</p><p>Maggie was talking to the hostess.</p><p>“I remember you said you hadn’t been here in a while.”</p><p>Jensen looked down at her and kissed her cheek, "Thank you."</p><p> </p><p>They got seated. Maggie sat across from the two of them, bouncing in her seat, wanting to ask questions. Charlie could feel her friend reeling and shook her head with a small laugh as she laid her head against Jensen's shoulder.</p><p>"Alright, Mags. Just come out with it. I can see you vibrating from here."</p><p>Jensen laughs next to her, catching on.</p><p>"No, I'm fine," Maggie said.</p><p>Charlie looked at her. "How was last night with Olivia?"</p><p>Maggie shot a look at Jensen, who was checking his phone, not looking at her. He was trying to be somewhat polite, pretending to pay the conversation no mind.</p><p>Maggie made a face at Charlie, pointing to Jensen. “He knows, he doesn’t care. He’s not going to tell anyone. Just like you tell no one about us.”</p><p>Jensen looked at Maggie, "Well, almost no one. But yeah. I don't care." Jensen chimed in with a smile to Maggie.</p><p>“Almost?” Charlie asked.</p><p>"Misha," Maggie said.</p><p>"Ahh, yes. The plotting." Charlie turned to Jensen. "Wait, you knew about that?" Jensen just smiles and nods.  Charlie looks back at Maggie. "You guys are assholes."</p><p>Maggie and Jensen both laugh. The waitress comes, and they order their food and coffees.</p><p>"What are you ladies going to be scouting for?" Jensen asks, making conversation.</p><p>Maggie responds as Charlie is chewing. "We kind of kill a few birds with one stone. So to speak. Charlie scouts for locations in the area for her job. I get photos for my portfolio, complete a few jobs for clients, her team, and now Misha. But we usually like to just hike. I wasn't much of a nature goer before I moved to Washington. It's kind of a go-to for us now."</p><p>Charlie nodded her head. "Really, we use the excuse of productivity to spend time in nature," Charlie adds.</p><p>"Yeah, Charlie used to go by herself. I eventually started coming along. Got more into nature photography after that. Inspired me to start my little freelance business."</p><p>“Oh, so what kind of photography did you do before?" Jensen asked.</p><p>"Different things. I was in graduate school for my MFA. Before that, I was in New York. Getting my feet off the ground. I had an eye for fashion, Street, and candid stuff then. So, I follow her along on her little adventures and photograph everything I can along the way. Charlie's little way of sticking it to the man."</p><p>"MFA. Like master of Fine Arts?" Jensen asked.</p><p>"Yup, then I followed Charlie here to Seattle." She looks at Charlie, who was just listening now. "Charlie gave me this big spiel about how nature is life and its beauty. That people would pay more money for a portrait of the sunset than a model on a runway. She got me. She was right,” Maggie said with a shrug. Jensen chuckled. "So, when she travels, she sometimes puts me on the payroll, gives me an account her.”</p><p>"Yeah, that's kinda why I brought her. That and her birthday is on Friday. I figured we could explore British Columbia before my fall picks up. Turning out a little more exploratory than expected...How's your birthday going, Mags?" Charlie says with a tone, trying to bring the conversation back to the previous topic.</p><p>Maggie gives Charlie a look. She didn't want to talk about it.</p><p>Jensen chimes in this time, "Liv is cool. Sorry, Olivia. She's been Misha's PA for a while now. She helps Random Acts out a lot for Misha. He's always working on something. She's good people. Glad to see her a little bit more chipper these past few days," he said, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>Charlie moves to grab his hand under the table and intertwines their fingers together.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't know if Charlie told you about Derrick?" Maggie said.  She looked at her, and Charlie shook her head. She never told Jensen.</p><p>"My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me."</p><p>"Ehhh, it's a little more than that but sure," Charlie chimed in.</p><p>"Shush," Maggie told her. "Anyway, I literally found out the day after we got here. Olivia is cool. Honestly, she is. But we're leaving in a week. I don't know what that'll mean for us. I don't want to rebound and be locked up on someone I can't see."</p><p>Charlie and Jensen sit still for a second, both thinking about how much they can relate. They looked away from the table when Maggie said that. Both mutually avoiding the subject, not wanting to deal with it yet.</p><p>Maggie feels the conversation grow heavy, "Sorry, I know you guys are in the same boat."</p><p>Jensen and Charlie look woefully at each other. Jensen is the first to speak, rescuing Charlie from having to. "I mean, yeah, but you're an hour away. Or a few hour's drive. Technology kinda makes it a bit easier to communicate and be in the loop with one another. If you feel it is worth it, then distance shouldn't be something to stop you," he said.</p><p>Charlie couldn't help but read the double purpose of his words. "Yeah. It might become a lot of planning, patience, and some periods of … fortitude," Charlie says, making them all laugh. "But Mags, try to make it work. It feels good to see you excited about someone. I don't want you to miss out on something good from fear," Charlie finished.</p><p>Maggie looked at her fierce. "Oh, how the tables have turned," Maggie said.</p><p>Charlie feels betrayed for a second, so she sits back in her chair and looks up towards the waitress bringing their food.</p><p>Jensen sees Charlie's reaction. "Tables turned?" he asked.</p><p>The waitress came, dropping off their food, making sure they had everything, and left.</p><p>After the waitress was out of earshot, Maggie looks at Jensen then at Charlie, hesitating. She realizes she might have said too much. Charlie shrugs, giving her permission.</p><p>"We sat in this very café and had this very same conversation," Maggie says before turning her eyes to meet Jensen's, about you."</p><p>Jensen looked at Charlie, who was now hiding behind her hair and paying attention to her food.</p><p>"Really?" he asked, still looking at her.</p><p>He loops his arm around Charlie's waist, pulling her to him. He moved her hair out of the way and placed a sweet kiss on the side of her cheek. Leaving his face close, waiting for her to turn hers. Charlie turned to look at him, nervous still. She gives him a quick kiss.</p><p>"That's good to know," Jensen finished.</p><p>Charlie laid her head against his shoulder, and he laid his against the top of her head.</p><p>Maggie watched them.</p><p>"You guys are so adorable. I can't," she said.</p><p>Jensen winks at Maggie, and Maggie smiles back. <strong><em>Yup, I love him. He’s my favorite, </em></strong>Maggie thought.</p><p>Charlie catches their interaction. "Stop it. I'm really beginning to regret inviting you too together."</p><p>Jensen smiled and moved down to kiss Charlie's lips again.</p><p>They all take time to eat their meals. After getting the check, they took a moment before heading out.</p><p>"Oh, random. Sorry. But, before I forget. I was talking to Danny from IT yesterday. He told me the Eagles are touring the states in September! You down?" Charlie asked Maggie.</p><p>"Where?"</p><p>“Vegas.”</p><p>"Fuck yeah!" Maggie went to check her phone, and Charlie turned her attention to Jensen.</p><p>"I love the Eagles," she said.</p><p>Jensen nodded in favor. "Great band."</p><p>"You're free to join," Charlie tells him.</p><p>Jensen smiles, "I'll see if I'm available," Jensen says. "Just remind me."</p><p>"Wait, when is it?" Maggie says.</p><p>"September twenty-something. It's a Saturday," Charlie answers, turning her attention back to Jensen.</p><p> "Really, you'll go?" Charlie asked excitedly, surprised. "Do you listen to the Eagles?"</p><p>"Of course, when I can. You seem surprised. What did you think I listened to?" Charlie turned her eyes, trying to think.</p><p> "I didn't really think about it. I mean, I wondered, but I didn't want to assume. Country?"</p><p>Jensen laughs, "Country? Is that solely because I'm from Texas."</p><p>"Yes!" Charlie says, laughing at herself.</p><p>"I do. I also listen to different stuff."</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>"Classics. Classic rock. Alternative folk. I like to listen more to composers. Artists who write their own music."</p><p>"Yay," she says, and Jensen laughs at her reaction.</p><p>They finished their brunch, and respectfully, Jensen paid.</p><p>Maggie drove to drop him off as Charlie sat with him in the back, letting them talk.</p><p>“When are you coming back?” Jensen asked.</p><p>"Monday night until Thursday. I have a meeting with Misha on Friday in LA, then back to Seattle. When are you going back home?"</p><p>"I fly out Thursday. Then fly back here Monday."</p><p>"So, we're off to the races after tomorrow, hm?"</p><p>"Sounds like it," Jensen said, pulling her in for a hug holding her until they got to his apartment. Charlie got out with him.</p><p>"I'll be back, Mags. Give me like 10 minutes."</p><p>"Take your time. No rush."</p><p>Charlie and Jensen go up to his apartment. Before getting through the door, their lips were already on each other. Charlie was the first to pull away, putting her forehead against his.</p><p>"I don't like this," Jensen said.</p><p>“What?” Charlie asks.</p><p>"You. Leaving."</p><p>“I’ll be back before you know it.”</p><p>“Just to leave again.”</p><p>Jensen looked at Charlie, examining her face. He began to slowly place his lips to hers, guiding her back. He needed her and tried to get as much of her as he could before she was gone. Charlie felt his need and put all she could passionately into the kiss.</p><p>They both pulled away, panting but not wanting to let the other go.</p><p>"I'll try to call you later when I get home. I fly to Seattle tomorrow at 4. But I will be back Monday and-" she pecked his lips with each word. "I will,'' kiss, "be all yours,'' kiss, "until I leave again."</p><p>Jensen smiled. He could tell she was trying to lighten his mood. He watched Charlie's lips, moving forward to hover a kiss over hers. He took her bottom lip with his teeth, pulling on it. Making Charlie moan to the pain and what it was doing to her body.</p><p>“Promise,” Jensen said, stern.</p><p>"Yes," she said breathlessly.</p><p>"Facetime me," he said fiercely.</p><p>He was being authoritative, and Charlie fucking loved it.</p><p>"Okay. I can do that," Charlie said, really wanting him to take her right there. <strong><em>So very hard, please.</em></strong></p><p>Still breathless, she gathers the will power to say, "Maggie is going to kill me. I have to go."</p><p>Jensen let out a sign. “Okay.”</p><p>He lets her go, and Charlie starts to walk towards the door. She turns around as Jensen looked at her.</p><p>"Later, Ackles," she said as she walked out the door.</p><p>Jensen walks strides to her before she finally leaves. He gets to her and forcefully slams his lips against hers one last time. Pulling away, he finally says.</p><p> "Later, Maeson."</p><p>Charlie was in a daze as she walked out, slowly closing the door behind her. She walked to the elevator with a heavy heart, feeling the distance between them. It became more and more suffocating.</p><p>They both knew she would be back, but they both are coming to the realization that Charlie will have to leave at some point. With their schedules, they didn't know how it's going to work out. If it can work out at all.</p><p>The elevator door opened, and Charlie hesitated getting off. She knew she couldn't stay, so she stepped off and walked to the car.</p><p> As Charlie walked, she passed the same doorman from the other night. She waved to him, and he noticed her familiar face.</p><p>"Have a good day, ma'am."</p><p>“You, too. Thank you,” Charlie said back.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie got to the car and sat in the passenger's seat. She felt like she wanted to burst into tears. <strong><em>Why? </em></strong></p><p>She took a big breath and turned to Maggie with a smile. “Ready?”</p><p>"Charlie, we can do it another day. You can stay. I can pick you up later."</p><p>“No. I need to be in nature right now.”</p><p>Maggie nodded in understanding.</p><p>“Let's go. I’ll be good," Charlie said, putting her seatbelt on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Hard Work Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie drove back into the city, her and Maggie exhausted from their hike. Finally getting up to their room, they went directly to their beds, crashing.</p><p>Charlie woke the next morning feeling heavy. She felt fatigued and weighed down. For once, she didn't want to go back home. She wasn't rushing to finish whatever business made her travel to Vancouver. She wanted it to last as long as possible. She wanted to stay and spend time with Jensen, but she needed to go back. Even if it was just temporarily.</p><p>Rolling onto her back, Charlie checked the time on her watch, still fastened around her left wrist.</p><p>—8:11 AM—</p><p>She got up from the bed, walking into the living space, and taking her phone out of her purse. She had to turn it off during the hike to conserve her battery. Finally getting around to checking her phone. She went through her notifications, sifting through work and family texts, as well as a few texts from Jensen.</p><p>He texted her right after she left his apartment last night and again this morning. She smiled to herself, her day instantly brightened.</p><p>Jensen: Sorry, I was so caught up on you leaving, I forgot to tell you to be safe. Please be safe. The both of you.</p><p>Jensen: Good morning. Hope you made it back safe. I know you're probably busy. Just wanted to tell you to have a safe flight.</p><p>Charlie smiled even wider reading them. She tapped the phone screen, calling him. She half expected him not to answer and was going to leave a voicemail. It rang a few times, then she heard his alluringly deep voice.</p><p>"Hey you," Jensen answered.</p><p>"Hey back. I'm sorry I didn't respond last night. I was conserving my battery, and we got home pretty late. I was beat."</p><p>"It's okay. I figured as much. Was thinkin’ about you. Wanted to text you."</p><p>"Stop it," Charlie says.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Being so sweet. Making me want to be with you."</p><p>Jensen chuckled on the other end of the phone, and Charlie's heart swelled. "I'm sorry," he said.</p><p>"No, you're not."</p><p>"You're right. I'm not."</p><p>"How was your night?"</p><p>"Good, actually," Jensen said.</p><p>Charlie could sense a happier tone in his voice. "Really? Good! What happened?" she asked, eager.</p><p>"Danneel brought JJ to Jared's apartment last night."</p><p>"You got to see your daughter?!" Charlie's voice got really high.</p><p>"Yeah," Jensen said, chuckling at her excitement.</p><p>"Oh my god. Jensen. That's so great."</p><p>"Yeah. I feel a little bit better. Not great, but better."</p><p>"What happened that changed her mind? was it just time or?"</p><p>"JJ is starting school. Danneel's going to need my help. She's also trying to land a new role. So, that was a bit of an incentive, because she can't do it alone. It took some arguing but I just told her I don't want to fight. I just miss my daughter. They were in LA this past week, closing her deal. That's why we were arguing that day you heard us. I wanted to see JJ before school started and she was …giving excuses. Jared and Gen managed to persuade her. I also think she is starting to realize how it's affecting JJ... so she's coming around."</p><p>"Well, thank goodness for Jared and Gen! That is so great that you got to see her. That Danneel is coming around. I hope you guys can work it out. At least for the sake of your daughter. I know that's really been weighing on you."</p><p>“We're not a hundred percent there yet, but ...steps."</p><p>"Guess she's trying. Sounds like it anyway," Charlie said.</p><p>"Yeah. Guess we'll see."</p><p>They fell silent for a couple seconds. Charlie wanted to ask questions, but she didn't want to pry, at least not over the phone. She felt an awkwardness when it came to Danneel. It wasn't jealousy, just curiosity. Their divorce was not yet finalized. <strong><em>How long ago did they file? What caused them to file? What am I walking into?</em></strong> Thinking about it made Charlie's mind start to wander.</p><p><strong><em>No, nope. Don't even go down that black hole…Just say something! </em></strong>"What are you doing today?" Charlie asked.</p><p>"I'm hanging back and collaborating with Steve...writing."</p><p>"Steve. The music buddy?" she asked.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p><strong><em>Yay, I remembered.</em></strong> "So, you're writing songs? For an album?"</p><p>"Yeah. We're recording one together. Gonna work on it when I'm back in Austin."</p><p>"You've been holding out on me, Ackles."</p><p>Jensen chuckles. "You too, Maeson. I haven't forgotten." Charlie starts nervously laughing.</p><p>The two spent close to an hour on the phone talking. Charlie went into more detail about her family and her friendship with Maggie. Jensen opened up about his family, the album he was writing, and how he met Steve. He even talked about the relationships he's cultivated since starting the show. Especially with Misha and Jared.</p><p>Towards the end of the conversation, Charlie got a sense that he and Misha were really close. Compared to the others, or Jared, even though he's known Jared longer. Jared and Jensen very much had a jockey brotherly affection towards one another.</p><p>With Misha, Jensen was different. It was like Misha was his adorable little brother that he constantly had to annoy and tease to show his love. He mentioned Misha more, they even talked more often. They were closer in a way, but Charlie couldn't put her finger on. She got a sense of an underlining 'brothers in arms' feel. Whatever it was, she loved their dynamic.</p><p>Nearing the end of their conversation Jensen remembered something he had to ask.</p><p>"Oh, what are those concert dates?" Jensen asks.</p><p>Charlie pulls out her calendar on her phone. "September 28th, 8PM. Vegas. I’ll send you an invite so you'll know the details."</p><p>"Thank you. I'll let you know by Monday, if I can do it. Shouldn't be a problem. Steve's hitting me up though. I'm gonna have to go. Can I call you later tonight?"</p><p>"Yeah, I should be home by then."</p><p>"Okay, I'll call you. Have a safe flight."</p><p>"Okay. Thank you. Bye."</p><p>"Later, you, " Jensen said, ending the call.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie showers and gets ready for the rest of her day. She prepared for her flight sifting through her things for what she needed to take to the office and home.</p><p>Charlie and Maggie went to brunch and caught up on everything, more thoroughly, before dropping Charlie off at the airport.</p><p>Finally getting home, Charlie stepped off of her apartment complex elevator but stopped in the foyer. She didn't want to go into the apartment. She looked down at the shoes next to the door and felt uncomfortable coming home for the first time in a week alone.</p><p><strong><em>But why? </em></strong>Maggie never consistently stayed at the apartment. Charlie would spend weeks alone, and it was never an issue. Now, she walked in feeling like she wasn't at home.</p><p>Charlie felt different. She didn't want to be there. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that Maggie was in Canada or that Jensen was. <strong><em>What is it about this guy?</em></strong></p><p>She shook the thought off and began turning on lights as she walked through the apartment. Taking in the smell and the scents of her and Maggie. Familiarity.</p><p>Charlie tried calling her best friend, but she didn't answer. She texted her instead and let her know she was home. Also sending a text to Jensen, letting him know the same.</p><p>Finally having time to wind down, Charlie went for a run. Just needing to clear her head, now that she had the time and space. She ran back to the same spot she was at last Sunday. The day she got the call from Richard telling her to go to Vancouver. The day that began a chain of events Charlie could not in a million years have predicted. On top of the surprise of who, she was also surprised at how.</p><p>Charlie wasn't promiscuous. Every sexual relationship she had in the past, and there weren't many. She knew the guy weeks or years before ever jumping into bed. That was never her first response, usually she shielded away from compliments or advances. She was shy, sure, but she also just never went after men.</p><p>They always chased her, and she hated it. Not because she was above It or them. But because it was never genuine. It was always for a means to an end, another notch on their belt. So, she withheld, especially after Matt. She didn't know how to move on. She barely muddled through before him. She was broken, lonely, and lost.</p><p>After losing her father Charlie, moved to New York. A year or so later, she fell into her first love. First everything really; first time having sex, first boyfriend, first time moving in with someone outside of her father. First time being self-sufficient. Charlie, for the most part, was never really raised around men. At least not ones outside of her family.</p><p>For the better part of her life, she was sequestered from the world. What with being raised by a strict single father. Who no doubt, loathed the idea of his daughter being corrupted in any way. Finding Beau, her first ex, or rather him finding her, was eye-opening. He gave her the false validation she thought she needed. While letting him slowly weasel his way into her heart.</p><p>Like every first love, he broke her more than he found her. Causing Charlie to become discouraged, farther into a wallflower of self-loathing and distrust. He made her feel even more insecure about herself. About men. She always felt like it was sex or vanity with them. Which brought her back to Jensen.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I don't feel that with him. Sure, he's definitely attracted to me and loves my body. Shit, I love his. But I have never gotten a sense that I was an object to him. Jensen thinks I'm amazing. That beautiful masterpiece of a human, thinks I'm amazing. But he makes me feel… sexy, smart, excited, and ALIVE. Never just… convenient or objectified. </em> </strong>
</p><p>She sat at the dock for a while, just taking everything in. She knew Jensen all of 5 days and she couldn't keep her thoughts off him. She was drawn to him, literally since the first moment they met. But the main part that got her was, she didn't regret a single thing. She wasn't scared of what was to come. She kind of invited it.</p><p>Charlie was apprehensive in the beginning because she felt like she was betraying herself, but mainly Matt. She was anxious about what she was leaving behind and how easy it felt doing it. <strong><em>It's been 5 years Charlie. Maggie was right. You have to move on.</em></strong></p><p>After sleeping with Jensen, Charlie was feeling her shame and regret. Only because, for the first time in 5-ish years, she aligned herself into believing there was life after Matt. She was faced with having to overcome the shame of thinking she was betraying him. She felt the regret of acknowledging the mental shift in herself. The ring around her neck, losing its hold on her.</p><p>Getting back to her apartment she showered again. Needing to clean the airport germs and sweat off. Finally settling down for the day, Charlie heads into the living room, looking around, not really knowing what to do with herself. Turning on the TV, going into her NETFLIX app, she started season 1, episode 1 of Supernatural.</p><p>She was awakened a few hours later, her facetime ringer going off. She gets up from the couch and heads to the kitchen counter, grabbing her phone. Seeing Jensen calling, Charlie quickly answers.</p><p>As soon as she saw his face, she smiled, feeling content. "Hey. Sorry. Just seeing the text. I fell asleep."</p><p>Charlie moves to sit on the couch, finally getting a better view of him on the screen. She was floored with how delectable he looked. He dressed more laid back than she'd seen him. He was wearing a backward baseball cap, t-shirt, and blue flannel. <strong><em>Blue though. Why do you have to be 200 miles away right now?</em></strong></p><p>"Awe, why did I agree to facetime with you?" Charlie said as a whine, letting out a small laugh.</p><p>"Why?" he asked, turning to the side in confusion.</p><p>"Nothing. How are you?"</p><p>"I'm okay. Tired…. Why don't you want to facetime me?" he asked, looking tired but taunting.</p><p>Charlie got up, walked into her bedroom, and sat down on the bed, "Cause I can't touch you."</p><p>Jensen gives a side smile, realizing what she meant, "Back atcha, beautiful."</p><p>"You just said, fuck it. If I have to suffer, I will make her suffer too," Charlie said with humor.</p><p>Jensen laughs, rolling into his body. Charlie just smiles at the screen.</p><p>"No, but you saying it, just makes it funny," he says, straightening himself up and stops laughing. "Sorry. Guess I'm in a good mood," he finishes. Lifting his glass to the screen and showing her, he had been drinking.</p><p>"Ohhh. Is this the happy brightful tipsy Jensen everyone keeps telling me about? He's enjoying his weekend. Got laid. Twice, actually. Things are coming up. Aren't you just glowing?"</p><p>Jensen laughs again, "Something like that." He looks at Charlie on the screen. "Can't say I don't miss you, though."</p><p>Charlie began to feel the effects of his gaze, even from Vancouver. She crossed and squeezed her legs behind the phone, smiling to herself because Jensen couldn't see.</p><p>"I know what you mean," she said. She turned her eyes and head, looking around her room, taking note of the quiet. "Felt weird coming home. Not having Maggie here didn't help either."</p><p>"So it's just you and Maggie who live there?"</p><p>"Yup." Charlie shrugged. "Our little home, away from home."</p><p>"Is that the one you own?"</p><p>"No, we rent a place in Tacoma."</p><p>"Oh. I thought Misha mentioned you had a place you owned. You were planning on returning back too soon."</p><p>Charlie ignored the fact that Misha and Jensen talk about her when she's not around, "Oh, yeah. I have a house in Arizona. Kinda."</p><p>"Kinda?"</p><p>"Well, it's mine. My mom lived in it thought. I just owned it. It was my childhood home. My dad left it to me when he died. I still pay the taxes, but she moved out recently. Kinda becoming a family thing. I do remember complaining to Misha about having to sell it," Charlie said with a chuckle.</p><p>"Family thing?"</p><p>"My brother wants the house. I offered to sell it to him. Even asked him for less than half of what I could get if I sold it. But nope."</p><p>"So, what? He wants the house for free?"</p><p>"Pretty much. They figured, I didn't have to pay for it, even though I pay the taxes. And have been since I was 20. They don't care. They think it would be fair to just transfer the deed to my brother." Charlie laughed, "Not happening."</p><p>"Where in Arizona?" Jensen asked, curious.</p><p>"Paradise Valley, it's like thirty minutes from Phoenix. Ten minutes from Scottsdale. My mom got engaged recently and moved out. Finally, gotta sell it."</p><p>"Hmm. So, you just take care of everyone else, but who takes care of you?"</p><p>"Me," Charlie laughed. "I don't know how to have it any other way. It's a character flaw. I am aware."</p><p>"I wouldn't personally call that a character flaw. I've gotten a sense that you're a bit … independent."</p><p>"Yeah, you can say that."</p><p>"It's admirable, not something you need to fix. But obviously something you learned to become."</p><p>"I guess."</p><p>Jensen watches Charlie on the screen. The two don't say anything for a minute. Knowing what the other was thinking. Charlie smiles tenderly at Jensen and scoots on the bed, laying down. Behind the phone, Charlie moved her hands down to her pants. She slides her finger between her folds.</p><p>As Charlie laid farther down on the bed, Jensen watched as her long brown hair fell gently, framing her face. He was reminded of the first time they slept together. Right in the next room. That fleeting little moment right before they had sex. The moment he knew she was extraordinary. The thought alone made him horny.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Charlie asked, sounding tempting. She bites her lip, again making Jensen more excited.</p><p>"Nothing, but I'd like to be there to do that," he says, nodding his head towards the screen.</p><p>Charlie sees his eyes move down, making her lips finally noticing she's biting it. She stops and pushes them together into a line.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she said enticingly, knowing that turns him on. Followed by a soft and subtle moan, seeing his eyes get darker.</p><p>"Charlie?" Jensen says, his voice serious.</p><p>She closed her eyes when his lips spoke her name. "Yes?"</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>She opens her eyes, seeing him biting his lip. His posture, curling into the screen.</p><p>"Thinking about you. Missing you," Charlie says with a small gasp.</p><p>"I'm right here," Jensen said, already rock hard in his sweatpants. The image of her fingering herself did it for him. He knew that's what she was doing. Jensen moved his free hand down past his stomach, hiking his shirt up. He slid his hand under his boxer, moving to quickly wrap it around his throbbing dick. Needing some release.</p><p>Charlie moaned again, doing provocative things to Jensen's thoughts. He began stroking himself, imagining it was her around him. He throws his head back against the couch, causing his hat to lift up and off against the cushion.</p><p>Charlie watches him, moving circles around her clit, feeling how wet he was making her. She knew he was touching himself too. She loved it. The two working themselves discretely adding to the effect.</p><p>"Not what I meant, Ackles," she said, wanting the conversation to keep going. Charlie needed to hear his voice.</p><p>Jensen smiles wide with his eyes still closed, followed by a small grunt. The sight of him made Charlie groan. <strong><em>God damn it. I need him.</em></strong> Charlie squeezes her legs tight, seeing him that way made her more aroused. That uniquely gorgeous, radiant smile.</p><p>"What did you mean?" he asked, breathing heavily. Jensen was still stroking himself, eyes closed. Charlie was silent and apprehensive. "Tell me," he said, voice deep and sultry.</p><p>Charlie hesitated for a second. Seeing Jensen, breathless, trembling. "Thinking about you inside of me," she let out.</p><p>Jensen groans again, letting his mouth fall open at the thought. Entranced in his fantasy. He strokes himself faster, imagining it was her around him. "Fuck," he grunted.</p><p>Charlie smiles at him. She closes her eyes again, thinking about his touch. His moans and words giving her more confidence, "I want you deep inside me. Filling me up so perfectly," she says, hearing Jensen moan. "No one's ever felt so fucking good. You know that?"</p><p>Jensen didn't answer, he was losing himself to her words.</p><p>Charlie moves her fingers down through her folds into her pussy. "Is that what you want? You wanna fuck me senseless? Make me scream."</p><p>"Yes," he breathed.</p><p>"You holdin’ out on me, Ackles?"</p><p>"You have no idea," he said, biting his lip hard.</p><p>"You gonna show me what I'm missin'? Show me what that amazing cock can do?"</p><p>"Oh my god, Charlie," Jensen let out. Speeding up some more, working himself. Letting her words add to his thoughts.</p><p>"Can I tell you what I want?” Charlie says, watching him.</p><p>Jensen nodded his head, unable to speak.</p><p>"I want you…to fuck me so hard, I’m too sore to sit. So hard, every time I walk or move, its a reminder of what you did to me. I want you to make me scream your name. Because that's all my brain can form as I cum on your dick, over and over and over again. Because I already know you can do that."</p><p>"God, your so fucking perfect. I need you so much right now. Yes. Fuck, yes," Jensen said, moving faster, feeling himself about to cum.</p><p>Charlie worked her clit, watching him as he worked himself. His eyes closed, surrendering to her words. She knew she wasn't going to get off. Her body just didn't work that way. She needed penetration, she needed him. So, all she did was watch him, laying the phone on the pillow, and pulling her shirt off for him. Exposing her braless chest to the air, grabbing her breasts and squeezing them hard, knowing that's what he would do.</p><p>Charlie initiated this little facetime sex session, feeling the need for him. But now, this was about Jensen, his needs surpassed hers. She wanted to make him happy. She needed to make him happy. Charlie knew he was holding back, and she wanted to be whatever he needed to let go. She wanted to let go with him.</p><p>She could tell he was close to cumming, "Look at me, please. I wanna see you," Charlie says.</p><p>Jensen opened his eyes, seeing her shirtless. He lifted his head to look right at her. Making eye contact with her as he steadily worked himself to cum. His breathing sped up with his strokes until he came to his release. He quickly cleans himself up with his shirt, then pulls it off.</p><p>Charlie watched, satisfied with herself. "Where are you going to be at six tomorrow?" she asked. <strong><em>Because I need him. As soon as humanly possible.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie tried not to think about how he felt like a drug. She had gone so long without or with mediocre. Now that Charlie finally had great sex, along with everything else that came with Jensen, it's all she wanted. She craved it day in and day out. She craved him. She didn't want to get back to Vancouver. Charlie wanted to get back to him. All she could think about was landing tomorrow and getting to him. The now ever-present gap between her legs felt too abandoned.</p><p>"On set at the studio," he said, bringing Charlie back to their conversation.</p><p>Jensen lays back on his couch pillow, fixing his hat and putting it back on his head. Sitting there, comfortable, with one arm behind his head.</p><p>"Till what time?" she asked.</p><p>" Probably nine."</p><p>"Are you doing anything after?"</p><p>Jensen chuckles, "Just you."</p><p>Charlie moaned, giving him a wicked smile, "Yes, please."</p><p>Jensen watched as she goes to stretch, starting to feel tired. "You're going to come straight to the studio when you land, tomorrow," Jensen said, with a stern demand in his voice.</p><p>“Yes, sir.” she said sarcastically, intentionally biting her lip this time.</p><p>Jensen growls as she looks at him with lust-filled eyes. "Tease.”</p><p>Charlie smiles at him. "Darlin', have you seen yourself? Being on this video call right now is torture," Charlie said.</p><p>"I'm not even doin’ anything."</p><p>"Exactly," she said through narrowed eyes. "I'm onto you. And If fingering myself got me off, I'd feel less inclined to tease. And or manipulate you into video sex? Or whatever this is."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>Charlie bit her lip, realizing what she said, "I can't get myself off when I masturbate. Not really."</p><p>"I'm sorry. What?" Looking slightly humorous and surprised. "I know I couldn't see but weren't you…you know?"</p><p>Charlie smiles wide at him, "Yeah, but did I cum?''</p><p>"Well...no." Jensen realized as he answered.</p><p>"I can masturbate or finger myself or whatever, but I won't cum."</p><p>Jensen looked at her perplexed, "Why?"</p><p>Charlie shrugged, "Don't make me say it,"</p><p>"Say it. I wanna hear you say it," he said, stern again.</p><p>"Apparently my vagina is very particular.”<br/>Jensen chuckled, “What does that even mean?” looking scared.</p><p>Charlie laughed at his face, “I think it’s a mental thing really. Too inside my head. I just can’t climax by my own hand. I can't climax from stimulation either. I need penetration. And I have weak fingers. So, it just…doesn't...happen," Charlie said, looking away from the phone, feeling embarrassed.</p><p>“Hm. I have so many questions. Also, kinda wanna test that theory,” Jensen said looking tired.</p><p>Charlie laughed, and rolled her eyes. “Hey. I’m not gonna argue with that. By all means.” Jensen laughed with a yawn. “But for now, you're tired and should sleep. We have a big day planned for tomorrow. I'm not letting you down easy," Charlie said with a wink.</p><p>Jensen gave her an exhausted chuckle, "Wouldn’t have it any other way.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Hard Work Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting off the phone with Jensen, Charlie promised to let him know when she landed in Vancouver. As soon as they were off the phone, she got settled in a bit and fell back to sleep. Only to wake up a couple hours later and not being able to go back to sleep. Looking over at her phone on her nightstand.</p><p>--2:43AM—</p><p>“Great,” Charlie said to herself.</p><p>She didn’t know what to do, Maggie was not home, and she didn't want to go to work so early. She went onto the roof, an added bonus to their top floor apartment. They had an accessible roof, which Maggie and Charlie used as a patio and work out area. She went to her usual spot, taking some time to do meditation and yoga. She loved it because sometimes at night the stars and constellations were stunning. Other mornings, the Seattle smog fades, allowing you to see a beautiful unset and Mount Rainer and the other little snow covered peaks show themselves in the horizon.</p><p>After a little over an hour, Charlie went back downstairs. She turned the TV on, going into Netflix again. She navigated to Supernatural's icon and pressed play. Watching a couple episodes until she felt ready for work.</p><p>On the way to the office, she stopped at her favorite coffee shop grabbing a bagel and a Carmel macchiato extra espresso. She knew she was going to be tired and needed the energy.</p><p>--7:22AM—</p><p>Getting to the office early, Charlie walked to her office waving to a few others there. Including her assistant, Celeste. She stopped and had a conversation with her, getting her messages and catching up.</p><p>Celeste was a sweetheart and a perfect assistant. She kept Charlie’s work schedules, itineraries and projects in perfect order. Charlie joked, if she ever left MAP, she would pay for Celeste to go with her.</p><p>Finally walking into her office, dropping her things off on her conference table and looking at her desk. It all felt unfamiliar to her. She felt like she didn't want to be there. She took a deep breath, ignoring her overthinking brain, and prepared for her workday.</p><p>Sometime later, Charlie was on the phone with Misha. He was taking time between takes to catch up with her. Mid conversation, Derrick barged into her office. He slammed her door behind him, startling Charlie.</p><p>"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Derrick yelled, very loudly. Not paying mind to the fact that she was on a call, her phone pressed to her ear.</p><p>"Who the fuck is that?!" Misha asked on the other side of the line.</p><p>"Um, okay… Mish, can I call you back? I'm so sorry," Charlie said into her phone. She felt completely taken aback and embarrassed<strong><em>.</em></strong></p><p>"Charlie. Who the is that? Is someone talking to you like that?”<br/>
“Yes, but I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ll call you right back."</p><p>“Are you sure?” Misha asked, sounding worried.<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
“Okay, call me back. Please,” Misha said, hanging up.</p><p>Charlie puts her phone down and takes a deep breathe. She turns to look at Derrick, calmly, but inside she was seething. "Good Morning, boss? What can I do for you today?” she said.</p><p>"You went above my fucking head, Charlie! You went to Steyer and Scandal without me! Telling them false information regarding shit you have no idea about!"</p><p>"What?”<br/>
“Scandal took me into his office this morning!”<br/>
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m sorry if you feel I ‘went over your head’? But do you really think barging into my office while I’m on a call is necessary or even remotely professional?"</p><p>"Oh shut it, Maeson. You know exactly what I am talking about. You want my job? Don't throw me under the bus in the process. And where the fuck is Maggie? She hasn't answered me in a week. Then this shit! What is this? Your way of getting me off the board?" he continued to yell, pacing back and forth in her office. He was angry, which was evident in his posture and tone.</p><p>"Really? I’m the reason you couldn't keep your shit in your pants? You egotistical dick! Your girlfriend is off having the fucking time of her life. I’m not telling you shit. Also, I brought things to my superior's attention because not doing so could have jeopardized my job. How your actions implicate you, is not my problem. And I don’t need some job title to know I do your fucking job for you. Derrick we make the same amount of money and you’re my superior! I was patient with you. I communicated several times, the files needed work. There were inconsistencies. You ignored everything!"</p><p>"Oh, yeah, Yeah. I didn't listen because you were incorrect, and because it's not my job to listen to you. You listen to me. Know your fucking place." </p><p>Charlie just looked at him, her blood boiling. She was trying not to jump over the desk and beat the shit out of him. <strong><em>Keep your composure, Charlotte.</em></strong> </p><p>She stood up, "My place?" she asked, walking around her desk. "My job is to direct my people, my team. I am the director of marketing. I can’t do any of that, if you’re job isn’t done correctly! I am not the executive director. I'm not human resources or your damn secretary!" she screamed back, angry now.</p><p>Charlie could see behind Derrick that Valerie from HR was creeping into her office. “You can't even keep up with your own bullshit anymore! Don't you dare come into my office and disrespect me like this ever again. You misogynistic, arrogant, self-entitled ass! I know my place. I am tired of helping you! The hole that you have dug yourself in is on you! Do not come in here and place blame. I do my job! I do your job! You're lucky I helped as much as I did!” Charlie finished before walking past Derrick.</p><p>She passed Valerie as she walked out of her office. Throwing her hands in the air, "I was on the fucking phone with a client!... Like what the hell?!" she exclaims.</p><p>Charlie walks out. Everyone in the office who was standing around listening, immediately disbursed when she exited her office. She walked to Richard's office and he allowed Charlie in.</p><p>"What exactly did you say to Derrick? You said we were going to talk about it? He just verbally attacked me in my own office. Made an entire scene. I was on the phone with Collins," Charlie cried.</p><p>"I'm sorry. Wait a minute. What?" Rich says, standing up.</p><p>"Derrick knows it was me that told you about the paperwork and the complaints. He literally just stormed into my office, cursing at me while I was on the phone with Misha. You said you would wait. I told you this would happen. You said we, together, would talk to him, so I could avoid this."</p><p>"Charlotte, please. Sit. It will be okay. Rob and I had a conversation with him this morning. It started off as something else. Your team's complaints are not the only ones we've received, and there are other matters at play here."</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>"I am not at liberty to say. It will be discussed during our board meeting today." Charlie stared at Richard fuming. "I don't want to be upset here, Richard. I understand you have to do your job. I understand there are things I cannot be a part of or know about. But I will not tolerate what I just experienced. I have done too much for this place. I have done too much for that… asshole, for him to just humiliate and degrade me like that. You couldn't even give me a heads up? I come in on a Monday morning. Not even here two hours into my workday, and I deal with this.”</p><p>"I am so sorry, Charlotte. Please understand that was not at all my intention."</p><p>Charlie just shook her head in outrage and surprise. " I can’t believe that just happened…” she said to herself. “After the meeting, I'm leaving. I don't want him near me. I am not even comfortable being here right now,” she said sternly before walking out.</p><p>Charlie went back to her office, but Derrick was gone. Valerie waited there to check on Charlie. She also asked her to make a statement for human resources.</p><p>Once Valerie was gone, she got on her computer, rescheduling her 4:30PM flight. While finishing the details, Charlie called Misha back feeling terrible.</p><p>"Hello," Misha answered on the other line sounding concerned.</p><p>"I am so sorry, Misha. You should never have heard that. It was beyond unprofessional."</p><p>"Charlie, who was that? "</p><p>"A disgruntled boss."</p><p>"That was your superior? Jeeeezus. Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes. I am fine. Thank you for asking."</p><p>"What was that about?"</p><p>"I can't say. Where were we when I was interrupted?"</p><p>"Right. The meeting. Listen, I was thinking. I think I'm going to have the LA meeting over Zoom. Is that okay with you? A few people have canceled because it's conflicting with their schedule and so on. You don't have to be in LA."</p><p>"But the sponsor?"</p><p>"We got 'em. I am sure. I wanted you there for my own convenience. We still need a few more, but we’ll get there."</p><p>"Okay?" Charlie said, apprehensive.</p><p>"Charlie, you're doing great. You've successfully reached out to a lot of potential sponsors. You've connected us with a good team. The web of communication is great right now. You did all that in 4 days! I am confident everything will go well. This is not a jab at your work ethic. I will never question that. Please continue with what you are doing. I am not even going to give you any pointers. You are great."</p><p>"Okay, thank you. Just, I don't know, sometimes this place is too much."</p><p>"From the sounds of it, I can completely understand that,” Misha said.</p><p>Charlie looked at the clock on her computer and began to gather her things. "I gotta head to a meeting. I'll probably be in Vancouver earlier than expected today. Should you need me later."</p><p>"Yeah, you got it. Just take it easy. Don't let'em work you too hard."</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "I'll try. Thanks, Mish. I'll talk to you soon.”</p><p>Charlie returned to her office, keeping herself busy until the meeting at 10AM. When it was time, she gathered what she needed and headed over. She sat in her usual spot off to the side and waited for the meeting to begin.  While she was waiting, she received a call from Jensen. She couldn't answer, so she sent him to voicemail. Following up with a text instead.</p><p>Charlie: Hi. Sorry. I'm in a meeting. I can't speak on the phone. What's up?</p><p>Jensen: I just got off the phone with Misha. He made it seem like there was something wrong. Are you okay?</p><p>Charlie: Yeah, I'm good. Just drama at work. I'll call you when I get out of this meeting. Explain everything then. It's too much for text.</p><p>Jensen: Okay. Call me right after.</p><p>Charlie: I will. Thank you for checking in on me. 🙂</p><p> </p><p>The board members finished trickling in. Sophia, Valerie, and Charlie all sat on the side of the room, taking notes as it began. Derrick entered the last minute and shot a look right at Charlie when he entered.</p><p>First on the meeting agenda, the company was being bought out and merged with a fellow nonprofit. Charlie was blindsided and began to understand what Richard meant by restrictions on what he could discuss.</p><p>As the meeting progressed, it was concluded, there would be no job cuts, but jobs will be reevaluated and reorganized. All accounts and assignments were to be reassigned and delegated. Making all responsibility fall on the directors.</p><p>By the end of the meeting, Charlie was distraught and fuming. The moment the meeting was called, she walked out of the room before anyone else had their things together. Charlie walked to her office and began quickly gathering her things. She felt she was leaving stuff behind, but she didn't care.</p><p>Charlie heard a knock at the door and turned to see Richard.</p><p>"May I come in?" Richard asked.</p><p>"It's your building," Charlie said as she continued to pack her purse and work bag.</p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about what was discussed in the meeting.”</p><p>"Alright," she said. Charlie put her stuff down and sat in her office chair. She crossed her legs, looking at Richard with a blank stare.</p><p>"Charlotte, I am sorry for the display of hostility and disrespect you experienced today. Derrick had no right talking to you the way he did. Along with the things he said. But I need you to understand, there were reasons a lot of these issues needed to be handled above you."</p><p>Charlie shook her head, "He's staying, isn't he? In the merger… he's staying Executive Director even after this morning. You never even put my name on the table. Did you? Did any of you?" she asked.</p><p>Richard opened his mouth to say something but closed it, being unable to deny her assumption.</p><p>"You're too valuable to lose in your current position. Derrick is useful where he is. He does what we make him do." Charlie looked at him with revulsion.</p><p>"So, you're telling me, it was a unanimous board decision to continue to run a company under him?" Charlie looked at him and realized, "You never brought any of it to them, did you? You're sweeping it under the rug. Again. Did you discuss anything with the other directors before you made these decisions?"</p><p>"Valerie was aware. She is leaving the Seattle office and transferring to LA in the next 60 days. If the merger happens, she will be the director of HR for all branches. She will assist in the transition."</p><p>"Wow. Just … wow. Even Valerie knew about this before me. And I'll still be here bringing in all the clients and the fucking funding."</p><p>“Charlotte.” </p><p>"Do not Charlotte me. I sat in your office two months ago and told you If things continued this way, I would be putting in my resignation."</p><p>“And I told you I would give you more money to make you stay.”</p><p>"I don't care about the money! He is not the ragdoll here, I am! I've spent the better part of my summer traveling around the country. After spending three years straight getting a degree! Meeting with clients! To come all the way here and collaborate with my team. Half of them stay because of me!" she ranted. Charlie brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose, squeezing it as she could feel a Migraine coming on. "This is why you agreed to give me to Misha. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense that you sent me all the way there. On such short notice, under weird pretenses. For you to agree to it. I had too much going on. You wanted me gone while these details were being organized. You knew I wouldn't let you do this. Not without losing me, and my team."</p><p>"No. Misha is a friend. He needed help. He may have mentioned the possibility of other projects down the line."</p><p>"Oh, so I was just a pawn for more funding?"</p><p>“Charlotte. This is a good thing. We are expanding.”</p><p>"No, we are being bought out. You guys are being paid out. I will then have to answer to a whole new set of people. Who will try to tell me how to do my job. A job I have done to perfection for over four years in a company I have worked for going on 8 years."</p><p>"Yes, you have. Don't you see, that is why we cannot lose you. You are an asset. The new organization does not plan on high roading you. There is room for you to move up. Just not right now."</p><p>Charlie shook her head. "You know what, Richard. You are so right," she said, then took a deep breath. "If you will excuse me. I'll be heading out now." Charlie stands. She grabs her laptop and her cell phone. "I will give a detailed breakdown of all my current projects and clients to Sophia. I will not take the time to find someone to take them on. That is not my job. It's Derrick's job. If you want to keep holding me to where I am, I will not be doing anyone else's job. That includes Derricks and Valerie's. Once I am done with the RA account, we need to have a conversation."</p><p>“About what exactly?” He said with concern.</p><p>"I'll figure it out when I get there. Because honestly, Richard, I have no desire to return to this office after today." Rich's face moved into shock and worry. "Thanks for the meeting. It was enlightening. Really set the tone for my week," she says, walking around the desk.</p><p>Charlie looked down at a bewildered Richard. "I'll be traveling for the rest of my workday. I will not be answering communications. Please resort to emails," she turns and begins to walk out of her office.</p><p>"Charlotte, you are upset. I understand, but can we talk about this before you leave."</p><p>Charlie turns around before walking out the door. She was visibly upset, and you could tell she was holding it all in.</p><p> "I trusted you. I worked hard for you. I put my heart and soul into this place. You took me at my weakest, and you used me for your own gain. I knew it too, but I let it happen because it made me feel accomplished. Not anymore, Richard. I no longer respect you as my superior. I no longer respect you in any way. I do hope you have a good day."</p><p>Charlie walks out of the room, giving her assistant a nob goodbye. She tried ignoring the stares and side glances she received as she walked to the elevator. When she exited the building and got to her car, everything just hit her. Charlie began to cry. She slammed her arms on the steering wheel and thrashed about, upset and angry. She felt taken advantage of and stupid.</p><p>She didn’t know what to do with herself. A part of her wanted to go upstairs and quit. Go to the board and end this constant battle within herself. She can’t ignore the unhealthy environment her job was anymore. She couldn’t ignore how everything made her feel. How the idea of coming back to this place repelled her. She needed to accept her time at MAP was coming to an end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Take It Easy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie whaled in her car, letting all the anger and frustration out. When she finally finished crying her face was tight from dried tears. She took a deep breath and began driving to her apartment. Realizing she needed to call Jensen back before he began to worry. After pulling into her complex and parking the car, she called him while waiting for the elevator.</p><p>“Hey,” Jensen answered immediately.</p><p>"Hi," she said, sounding low, clearly not her usual self.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>“Nothing,” she said with a light sob as the feelings began to come back. </p><p>"There is something wrong. I can hear it in your voice. Misha said someone barged into your office, cursing and screaming at you this morning."</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, ashamed.</p><p>“Who was talking to you like that?” Jensen asked, clearly pissed someone would speak to her that way.</p><p>"Derrick.”</p><p>“Derrick? Why does that sound name familiar?”</p><p>“You’ve heard it. It’s Maggie’s ex-boyfriend.” <strong><em>I need to call Maggie.</em></strong></p><p>"The dude that cheated on her?"</p><p>"Yeah... He's my boss."</p><p>“And he talks to you like that?!”</p><p>"No. Well yeah. He did. But he's never done that before. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I'm sorry. I'm upset. I didn't want to forget to call you," she continued as she began to cry again. <strong><em>God. He must think I'm dramatic.</em></strong></p><p>“Why are you apologizing?”</p><p>"I don't know. I don't even know why I am so upset. It's not like I didn't see this coming. I'm just …disappointed."</p><p>"It’s okay. Just calm down and talk to me. What happened?"</p><p>"They're merging. He wins. He's terrible at his job. He's terrible with his employees. They still chose him."</p><p>"Who? Derrick?"</p><p>"Yes..." Charlie said, looking at her watch seeing the time. “I have to go. I have to be at the airport in an hour."</p><p>“When do you land?”</p><p>"Around two.”</p><p>“I’ll have you picked up at the airport.”</p><p>"It's okay. I can just-"</p><p>"I am not asking, Charlie,” Jensen interjects before she can finish her sentence. “I will send a car. They'll bring you here. I'm done around nine or maybe before. You can hang around. We'll talk. Misha's here. You guys can work on stuff. Just don't cry. Please. You’re too good for that."</p><p>Charlie just listened and began to calm down. "Okay," she said. Looking at her watch, "I do have to go, though. I'm running late."</p><p>“Okay, I’ll hang up. Just have a safe flight. I’ll see you later on.”</p><p>“Okay, thank you. Bye,” Charlie said in a sweet tone.</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p>Charlie got to the airport, checked in, and went through security just in time for boarding. During the flight, she needed to keep her mind busy. So, she went through her email list and reached out to some of her old NYU artist buddies she and Maggie cultivated over the years. Some are always looking for collaboration and projects. With it being such a well-known show, she figured some of them could benefit from the publicity. They could also help Random Acts. She also reached out to a list of possible sponsors.</p><p>When she finally landed in Vancouver and got to arrivals. She was happily surprised to find Cliff holding up a sign that said, 'MAESON'.</p><p>"I don't think you'll be needing that, Cliff. I know who you are," Charlie said with a small smile, walking up to him. She began to feel lighter, safer, in his presence.</p><p>"Sorry, Charlie. Wasn't sure if you'd recognize me. Some people don't," Cliff said back. Charlie smiled at him. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, and she simply nodded.</p><p>They drove directly to the studio. Cliff escorted Charlie to Jensen's trailer. When she got inside, she felt weird being in his little place without him. She also felt like someone was going to barge in at any moment.</p><p>Charlie looked around, admiring the feel of the homey trailer. It was more modern and livable than she expected. She walked over to one of the couches, sitting down. She didn’t really know what to do with herself. Normally she would be working right now, but she just wasn’t feeling it.</p><p>Charlie settled with checking her emails. Adding to her day, she received an unexpected message from an unexpected person. <em>Beau, her ex<strong>. </strong></em>Especially sinceshe reached out to Kathy, the wife of Beau’s best friend. She emailed her about a potential sponsorship and publicity for her business. Charlie hadn’t spoken to Beau in over three years. Last seeing him at Jon’s wedding. Jon and Beau were best friends, but Jon and Charlie were old buddies. They’ve kept in touch over the years. Eventually, Kathy grew to know Charlie and the two became close. Kathy even making Charlie a bridesmaid in their wedding.</p><p>Jon and Beau started a business back in college and since have made a big name and fortune for themselves. Eventually moving out to the west coast. Allowing Jon, Kathy and Charlie to stay in touch. As far as she knew, Beau lived in New York, on the opposite side of the country. Far away from her. </p><p><strong><em>But why is beau reaching out to me? And why now?</em></strong>  Kathy never gave Charlie a response to her email. Instead, she got one from Beau. She decided to ignore it but was nervous about him emailing her in regard to the sponsorship. She wanted him nowhere near Misha or Jensen or anything good in her life. Charlie needed immediate clarification on the matter. So she called Kathy since she was alone and had a moment. She waited as the phone rang.</p><p>"Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Katherine Enderlin. I apologize I am unable to answer…" Charlie waited for the voicemail to beep so she could leave a message.</p><p>-BEEP-</p><p>"Hey, Kath. How's it going? Wanted to give you a call about my email. I had a free moment and figured I’d try you,” the trailer door opened, making Charlie pause as she jumped up and turned to look. Her body calmed a bit when she saw Jensen coming up the stairs with a concerned face. "Just give me a call later if you can. Or shoot me a text whenever you get a chance. Would love to catch up. Hope you guys are doing well. I'll talk to you later. Bye love."</p><p>Charlie hung up, feeling weirdly on edge. <strong><em>Too much is happening at once.</em></strong> She looks over at Jensen, smiling up at him, "Hi," she said as he took his overcoat off and stood in front of her with an encouraging smile.</p><p>"Hey," Jensen said and pecked her on the lips, in the most gentle and sweetest of ways. <strong><em>He's so perfect.</em></strong> "Do you need anything? I have snacks and drinks. There’s craft services if you want food. Whatever you need," Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie shakes her head. "No, I am okay for right now. Thank you."</p><p>Jensen moved them both to sit down on the couch. His body turned to face her. Charlie moves in, bringing her head to his chest. She nestles into him, taking in his warming aroma. His embrace mixed with his scents, creating the feeling of home for her. <strong><em>Finally.</em></strong> Jensen's warm frame against her face, cradling her, she felt the sweetest form of peaceful bliss.</p><p>"How are you?" Jensen finally asked as he brought his hand to her head, playing with her hair.</p><p><strong><em>Is it too soon to kiss him? </em></strong>Charlie moved back to look at him, meeting his eyes. <strong><em>Yeah, he’s being serious Jensen. </em></strong>"I'm fine,” Charlie said.</p><p>He looked at her knowingly, telling Charlie he didn't buy it. "What do you want me to say?" Charlie asked.</p><p>"What happened this morning is a good start."</p><p>"I did my job. Derrick got pissed off and decided to barge into my office and degrade me and prove some macho fucking bravado. There’s so much I don’t even know where to start. I dealt with it for a long time. Trying to keep the peace. I just tried to make the best of it. I made my intent to move up clear. I have the education and experience. But it's always the same thing. I am too valuable in my current position to promote." Charlie looked down now. "I accepted it because I was going to school. They pay me well. I control my schedule. I was comfortable and confident in what I do," she went on, finally taking a second to stop.</p><p>She hesitated with the next part because saying it made it more real. "During the meeting this morning, they informed us they are merging. Positions and job titles have already been discussed. I was taken out of the process. He used the space of me being here for Misha’s account, to quickly situate the discussion, before I was ever able to chime in," Charlie finished.</p><p>"Does that mean you're being demoted?" Jensen asked.     </p><p>"No, I am still the marketing director," she said dejectedly. "I’m always going to be the marketing director. I just always worked my ass off, thinking It would mean something to them, and it didn't. I am now coming to terms with that. That is why I'm upset. Not because of some chode dick with temper issues."</p><p>Jensen finally gives her a smile, <strong><em>there she is.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie wraps her arms around his torso. "I also know what I have to do, and I really don't how to do it."</p><p>Jensen wraps his arms around Charlie, bringing his lips to her neck and pushing her back into the couch. <strong><em>Yay. Now he’s being fun Jensen.</em></strong></p><p>"What is that?" he asked, applying more weight on her and successfully affecting her train of thought.</p><p>"Um. M-move on," Charlie said as his kisses started trailing up her neck to her lips.</p><p>Jensen took Charlie's mouth in his, shifting his weight closer to her. He used one of his hands to move Charlie's legs to the other side of his hip.</p><p>Jensen slid the hem of her dress up past her hips, opening her legs farther, no longer restricted by the material. He slid right in between them, causing them both to enjoy the feeling of their sexes rubbing close together again, mutually needing more.</p><p>Jensen pulled out of the kiss, hovering his lips over hers, teasing. "I'm surprised you haven't said anything to Misha about what I told you," Jensen said.</p><p>Hazy, Charlie forces herself to articulate a response, "Really, you’re talking about Misha right now?" She lets out a small moan, "I- I, honestly, don't really want to know. I can't think about that right now," she said, moving to pull his head to hers, caressing his lips.</p><p>"You have to know the dress was going to do something to me," Jensen said.</p><p>Charlie looked down, realizing she was still wearing her navy-blue pencil dress. She began to laugh under him, "Actually, I just went with a Monday professional since it was a board meeting. Originally planned on going home to change."</p><p>Jensen growled in her neck as he planted kisses. "Never. Always do with the dress."</p><p>"I wanted to be comfortable traveling," Charlie whined.</p><p>Jensen began to grind into her, giving her his reply to that. Making Charlie feel how much they missed each other. Charlie focused on his already hard and ready dick, rubbing perfectly against her clit, barely shielded under her underwear.</p><p>"Glad I forgot," she muttered as the feeling of him rubbing became even more marvelous as she felt her panties begin to dampen. Charlie began to scratch the fabric on his back as Jensen moves his head down to her chest.</p><p>"I needed to check on you. But I do have to get back to set soon," Jensen said, with his warm mouth and hot breath between her breasts.</p><p>Charlie looked down at his lips as they made contact with her skin, hypnotized. "Okay," was all she could say.</p><p>Jensen moved up, his lips arriving at her mouth again.  He slides a hand up her thigh and over her hip. Pulling out of the kiss, he slowly moves to his knees on the floor. Jensen pushes her thighs together.</p><p>Charlie watches him eagerly as he slips his fingers under the fabric of her underwear, swiftly pulling it down and off.  He moved down to begin kissing her calves, moving down to her inner thighs. Charlie could feel him getting closer.</p><p>Jensen brought both legs over his shoulders, leaving light little kisses. She was lost under him, desperate for his touch. She knew exactly what he was going to do.</p><p>“Probably not the best line of action if you’re short on time,” Charlie said, knowing he was going to test her little theory. He was going to be a typical man for a moment and prove to himself he can do it.  She giggled, “As much as I love this idea, I’d really prefer your dick.”</p><p>Without any more teasing, Jensen dived his face into her folds, sucked on her clit, going to work.</p><p>“Ahh! fuck!" Charlie gasp, causing her to cover her mouth with her hands. <strong><em>Fuck. Someone is going to hear me.</em></strong> Holding back all the sounds erupting from her chest and mouth as he ate her out. "Holy fucking shit, yes." She moaned.</p><p>Charlie arches her back but keeps her pussy grounded at the edge of the couch for him. Jensen works her with his tongue, up and down, in and out of her hole.</p><p>Her breathing suddenly picks up. She threw one hand in his hair, pushing him harder into her as he worked her over.</p><p>“Oh my god, please yes. Just like that.”  Jensen grabbed her hand off his head and intertwined their fingers. He began to use his fingers to rub circles into her clit, moving his clit up and down, in and out. Charlie wiggled underneath him, sitting at the edge. She moaned deep now, still trying to be quiet. Jensen was determined to win this, determined to make her cum. He sped up his finger motions over her clit adding side motions with his tongue.</p><p>Charlie put one of her hands over her mouth, no longer able to minimize her moans. She wasn’t cumming but that didn’t mean what he was doing didn’t feel amazing.</p><p>“Ahhh! Fucking shit!” Charlie moaned into her hand. Throwing her other hands to his head, pushing his head into her more, hoping it would help her come. She could feel everything and if felt beyond incredible.</p><p>Jensen had to give up this time. But he was excited he had a goal to work towards. He pulled away from her little overstimulated bundle of nerves and left a quick kiss on her lips. Charlie was watching him and giggled at the little gesture, before he began kissing up her body again.</p><p>Jensen finally lands back to her face, kissing her. He dives his tongue deep into her mouth, making Charlie taste herself. She whimpered into the kiss, moving her hands down to the buckles of his belt.</p><p>They both pulled away and looked down as Charlie impatiently worked to unbuckle him and quickly pushed his underwear down.</p><p>Jensen's hard cock hung free. Charlie wrapped her hand around Jensen’s dick, stroking, still looking up at him. The feeling makes Jensen's head drop low against her neck. She moves her head to kiss his shoulder as she guides his tip through her folds. Moving it up and down then positioning right at her hole.</p><p>Charlie pushes her hips up to meet him, and Jensen groaned as his tip felt her warm walls. Jensen pushed hard into her, feeling how tight she was and landing deep. A loud gasp falls from Charlie. Her mouth fell open as he thoroughly filled her making her head fall back. She lets out a whine as she has to adjust to his size again.</p><p>"Shit...Yes," Charlie groans. <strong><em>God, I have to be quiet... I can't. It feels too fucking good.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie curls her index finger into her mouth, biting down to hold in her moans. Praying no one can hear them.</p><p>Jensen grunts as she squeezes around him. He pulls out slowly and moves in again, making a rhythm. As he goes deeper with every inch, she takes big breaths holding herself still between the feeling of pleasure and pain. She brings one hand up to his hair, tugging at it. Using her other hand to push onto the small of his back.</p><p>"Oh, fucking god, yes," Charlie moaned, her finger muffling her words.</p><p>Jensen pulls back out slowly, feeling how wet she is around him and letting out a loud moan at how good she feels. He begins to thrust at a faster and deeper rhythm with long strokes, leaving Charlie panting and writhing beneath him.</p><p>Jensen covered Charlie's mouth with his hand. She began to moan louder, unable to cover her mouth as he worked her. She bucks her hips up into him, needing more friction as Jensen kept up the same pace.</p><p>He began to feel her flutter and tighten around him. He could hear the creaking of the couch as he worked her. Jensen moved to cover her mouth with his lips, diving his tongue in and tasting all of her. She began to spread her legs wider, pushing one into the back of the couch and the other straight out to the side. Letting him in deeper as she felt her orgasm begin to build inside of her.</p><p>Jensen pulled away to breathe, looking down seeing him disappearing inside her. The sight was exquisite.  "Oh, god. Please let me cum. I need to cum," Charlie pleaded against his lips.</p><p>Jensen love that she asked. He continued to thrust into her, moaning into her mouth. He moved his lips to her neck, breathing heavily. “Cum for me baby,” he said, leaving sloppy wet kisses on her skin as he tried not to cum, wanting to last longer.</p><p>Charlie finally lost it, letting her orgasm wash over her. Biting against Jensen’s hand as it strongly covers her mouth. She could feel him pulsing inside her. She moved his head to hers and planted a kiss on his lips as she began to come down from her high. She could feel him getting to his brink.</p><p>Jensen moved his head to her shoulder again, still trying to hold himself together, her kisses not helping. Charlie realizes they skipped past a condom again.</p><p><strong>Fuck it.</strong> "It's okay, cum for me, baby. Please, I wanna feel you cum inside me," Charlie whispers in his ear, letting out a deep moan and then leaving a kiss on his neck.</p><p>Jensen pushed his mouth into her neck, moaning into her skin. He wrapped his arms up, under and around each shoulder. Using them to help push her into him as he moved forcefully into her. Jensen knew for sure his trailer would be rocking, letting others passing, know what he was doing inside. He didn't care.</p><p>After a few forceful strokes, he was cumming hard into her. Charlie could feel his load hitting against her walls. Something about this amazing man cumming inside her, made it all even better.</p><p>Jensen squeezed her body to him as he pumped into her a few more times before pulling out. Collapsing on top of her, resting his head against the couch and her shoulder. Charlie looked up at him, perplexed by how gorgeous someone can look. Wondering if this is what people meant when they described the enamored feeling of being in the presence of beauty. The butterflies in her stomach swirled and left a sinking feeling in her heart. Charlie felt pride that she got to have this man here with her. On top of her. Inside of her.</p><p>Jensen looked at her as she just smiled wide up at him. "What?" he asks. He puts his hand on both sides of her face holding her still and reading her face. "What are you thinking?"</p><p>Charlie came too, realizing she has just been lost in him.</p><p>"You're really beautiful."</p><p>Jensen lets out a small uncomfortable chuckled. "Thank you, sweetheart, but I'm pretty sure you take the cake on that one."</p><p>Charlie blushed at the compliment. Jensen smiled at her, then placed a warm kiss on her warm cheek.</p><p>"When do you have to get back?"</p><p>He looked up at the watch on his wrist, "I have a few more minutes."</p><p>He began to climb off her and stood over the couch. Charlie closed her legs as the cold air hit her still wet and now exposed sex. She watched Jensen as he began to stuff himself back into his boxers.</p><p>Feeling like she didn’t have enough, she became momentarily courageous. She shifted quickly off the couch, jumping to her feet. She pushed her hands against Jensen's chest and guided him back towards the kitchen area counter. Charlie swiftly moved her hand into his boxers, causing Jensen to close his eyes at the feeling. He let his hands fall to his side.</p><p>"Fuck," he said as he could feel himself getting hard again.</p><p>Jensen opened his eyes when he began to feel Charlie pull down his pants and underwear past his ass. "I need to get back soon," he tried to object.</p><p>Charlie squatted down, meeting her face with his dick as she kept eye contact with him. He looked down at her, not moving an inch, frozen with anticipation.</p><p>Charlie pulled out her tongue and softly but slowly licked his tip and shaft, causing his head to fall back. Charlie smiled at her little victory and plunged Jensen's cock all the way into her mouth. She savored the taste of him, as she bobbed her head up and down.</p><p>Jensen puts his hand in her hair, holding it there. Charlie wanted him to take control of her. She pulled him out of her mouth with a pop, sucking hard on his sensitive head before letting it out.</p><p>Jensen immediately looked back down at her, letting out a small growl as the cold air hit his engorged cock. Charlie locked eyes with him, wanting him to watch her as she opened her mouth to take him back in. Not stopping until all of him was inside her mouth, hitting all the way back into her throat. Fighting the urge to gag at his size.</p><p>Jensen squeezed her hair in his hand and fought the urge to fuck her mouth. She sucked him hard up and down, pushing him into her throat again before pulling him back out to breathe.</p><p>Charlie takes her free hand, stroking his shaft and as she sucks wet and hard on his head. She slid her hand up and down his dick as she worked on his tip, tasting the little bit of pre-cum coming out.</p><p>Jensen began to buck his hips into her mouth as he could feel himself coming again soon. Charlie applied pressure to his hand on her head, letting him know not to hold back. Jensen got the hint. He began to push Charlie's mouth down on him, making her lose the grip around his shaft as he pushed her all the way down.</p><p>Jensen's tip hit into the back of Charlie's throat. He jerked into her, pulling her back to ruthlessly pump into her mouth. He worked himself to the edge.</p><p>Charlie moaned into the motions. The vibrations of her moan added to the glorious feeling of her around him. Jensen thrust deep into her throat, watching Charlie as she took him, never making him stop.</p><p>Jensen pulled her off of him for a beat, letting her get air. Charlie looked back at him and plunged him back into her mouth, not losing eye contact. She bobbed on him in and out quickly, wanting to taste what he was holding back.</p><p>Charlie began to suck him harder, swirling her tongue and moving him and out. She used her hand to play with his balls as she let his tip hit the back of her throat with each motion.</p><p>She pulled him out, spitting on him and taking him into her mouth one last time. She did long suckling strokes, so good, she had him cumming into her mouth. His cum hitting the back of her throat. She put her hands on his hips, holding him there as she sucked up the last of him. Moving him in and out of her mouth.</p><p>Jensen curls over Charlie, trying to hold himself upright as he grunts, cumming hard into her mouth. Charlie sucks and swallows every last drop until he fell limp.</p><p>Jensen looked down at her as she slowly began to kiss up to his stomach and finally looked up to meet eyes with him. He pulled her back up, meeting his lips, tasting himself in her mouth, and not giving a shit.</p><p>Jensen pulled away from the kiss, "Fuck, that was amazing," he said before pushing his lips back onto hers. Sucking on her lip and biting down on it before letting it go. "You're so fucking amazing.”</p><p>Charlie wrapped her hands around his neck before pulling away. “I have to admit. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”</p><p>"Since when?"</p><p>Charlie gave him a smug smile, "That first night at the studio, in the office when we were alone." She planted a quick kiss onto his cheek before pulling away and walking to the couch. "You should get back to work," she said, winking at him.</p><p>Jensen just stood there processing. When he came back to reality, he realized he was still hanging out of his pants. He fixed himself and walked over to the fridge to grab two bottles of water. Leaving one on the counter for her.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be working right now?” he said to Charlie.</p><p>"Ahh. I'll be in here working on Misha's account all day and week. He is my only focus or care. They can kiss my ass."</p><p>"I'm loving this new badass, don't take no man's shit, I'm in control, Charlie," he said with an approving smile. Charlie blushes, and his smile widens. "There she is. There's the girl we know and love," he said, moving down to rub her warm pink cheek with his thump.</p><p>"Do you need anything before I go? I'll be back in a little. Between takes. I'll send Misha your way. Don't let him probe you too much,” he said, using the play on words. Charlie caught it.</p><p> “Funny. Can’t promise that though."</p><p>Jensen looked at her with a genuine smile, "Oh, really?"</p><p>"Hey, you walked into that one." Charlie could see him biting his lip.</p><p>"Okay, well, while you have your way with my best friend, you try not to forget who's who around here."</p><p>"Meaning?”</p><p>He steps to her again for one final kiss, biting her lips and pulling at it. “You’re mine.”<br/>“Oh, Jensen?" Charlie says, looking around. "Do you still have my underwear?”</p><p>"No, must be in the cushions," Jensen said with a playful smile as he walked backward. "Later," he finally said before disappearing out the door.</p><p>As he descended the stairs, he looked around before pulling the blue lace underwear from his back pocket and smiling to himself as he headed to wardrobe.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Living In The Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie looked around the couch, searching for her underwear. She knew Jensen took them and shook her head at the fact that he tried to make her walk around without them. She froze when she realized he said he was going to send Misha her way. Not liking the idea of being so exposed with Jensen’s friend around her. The both of them close and confined in his trailer. </p><p>She went into her luggage, changing her clothes into something more comfortable. She put on a pair of skinny jeans and went through Jensen’s drawers, finding and stealing a shirt.</p><p>When she felt comfortable, she went back into the main area and sent him a text.</p><p>Charlie: Really, Ackles? </p><p>Jensen: What?</p><p>Charlie: Those are comfortable panties, and they're Fenty, buddy. I want them back. </p><p>Jensen: I have no idea what you’re talking about. 😉</p><p>Charlie: Yeah, okay. You owe me a pair now. I want new ones. You can keep them.</p><p>Jensen: Sorry. 😈</p><p>Charlie: No, you’re not, lol.</p><p>Jensen: You’re right. I’m not. You should come visit me on set later. </p><p>Charlie: No! I’m staying in the trailer. I’m onto you.</p><p>Jensen: Fine, I’ll just come scoop you up when I get a chance.</p><p>Charlie read the text, shaking her head, and laughing at his audacity. She settled into his trailer, getting her laptop out. She eventually called Maggie, telling her everything that happened. Maggie apologized for Derrick, saying she would finally reach out to him to try and mend things.</p><p>Charlie told Maggie about everything going on at work.Maggie advised Charlie, as she always did, to leave her job. She insisted Charlie to move onto better opportunities. Something that would make her happy, not something she can just get by on. It was an argument the two constantly had with one another. She couldn't understand what held Charlie back from expanding, making more money, or even going after her real dreams. Not work and have a career to feel successful. Not follow what she thinks she needs to do but be miserable in the process. In the end, Charlie couldn't really explain it herself. <strike></strike></p><p>She had been in Jensen's trailer working on her laptop with her air pods in. She didn't hear Misha knocking, so it scared her when she felt him touch her shoulder.</p><p>"Oh." she yells in surprise, then see's it's Misha. She immediately starts laughing and pulls out her headphones. "It's just you," she smiled.</p><p>"So sorry, I was knocking," Misha said with an adorable and apologetic face.</p><p>"Oh no, it's fine. I'm sorry. I was just so concentrated on work and listening to music, I didn't hear you. I knew you were coming. It just startled me. Hi Misha."</p><p>Misha bent down to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek, firmly grazing his hand over her waist pulling her into him. "Hiya Charlie. How's the rest of your day going?" he said ironically.</p><p>She smiled and shook her head at the tone, chuckling. "Good, Misha. How's your day going?" she said back, matching his tone.</p><p>Misha smiled wide, showing his perfect teeth. "It's good. I'm good. How's it going with all this. With the job I mean?"</p><p>"Good, I felt inspired, so I reached out to a handful of my artist friends. And some have agreed to lend a hand. A few have agreed to sponsor. Since we are doing the event's spaced out in time and location, we might incorporate more acts. More reasons for people to come out and get engaged. This vast group of people around the world. Connecting for charity and good but also the love of a show, music, art, and meeting others. I am completely picking at straws here but-"</p><p>"No! This is- this is fucking awesome. I just thought we could have a bunch of Supernatural conventions promoting causes, but this is making it even better!"</p><p>"I've already had my team reach out. They are currently coming up with branding ideas for each location. I explained everything in my proposal. I just sent it to everyone, like 10 minutes ago. I have to reach out to Jared about his campaign ideas."</p><p>"This is phenomenal. Yes. Just yes."</p><p>"I'm on it. For sure. With work… things may be getting a bit complicated. I think I'm gonna take a break soon. After I finish your account of course."</p><p>"What? Why are you taking a break? Is this because of what happened this morning? Prior to that, I was under the impression you liked your job."</p><p>"It’s a job. When I started there, I was an assistant then moved up. I had just graduated from NYU. I was excited about something new and something that was my own. They asked me to move to Seattle. So, I did. Started over. I was ambitious and hopeful. I went back to school. I finally made a plan for my life, one that I wanted and was achievable with hard work. But…then Matt died. That kinda threw a wrench into it." Charlie looked up at Misha. He looked empathetic and concerned. "I can only assume you know," she said.</p><p>Misha shook his head. "Jensen told me. I am so sorry, Charlie. I can only imagine. That kind of loss must feel unmeasurable."</p><p>Charlie shrugged, "After, I had nothing else. I had a friend who was making a name for herself. Doing all that I felt I couldn’t allow myself to do, and a family that validated that doubt. So, I threw myself into my job. Can’t say I’m good because I love it. I’m good because it’s the only thing I could control, so I mastered it. I take my education and my experience, and I use it to my advantage. I know what to expect, and I know what to do to win people over. I know how to read people and I know how to do my job effortlessly. But the more and more I did, the more and more they took. Now when push comes to shove, I'm the one being left out in the rain.”</p><p>"I’m so sorry, Charlie. If it helps, you always have a home at Random Acts.”</p><p>Charlie looked at Misha and gave him a wide smile. "Jensen told me, Misha," she said. He looked at her, wide-eyed. "He told me you want me for the board position, and that's how this all kinda started," she finished.</p><p>Misha straightened up in his seat. "Oh," he said, looking speechless.</p><p>"He didn't mean to. Well, he did, but he didn't know what I knew... or didn't know."</p><p>"Well... Yes, I do. I’ll admit, I want you. I've worked with a few different organizations that have recommended me to MAP. Sure, Richard and the board are the face and decision-makers, but everyone who recommended me to MAP, talked about you. You didn't just do your job. You did the job. You attempt to obtain and exhaust all resources available or not, to achieve the goal. Doing so to perfection."</p><p>Charlie was a bit taken back by the fact that people talk about her in that regard without her knowing. Flattered, but surprised. She also found his choice of words funny, "That sounds wrong,” Charlie joked.</p><p>Misha made a face at her joke but kept talking, "You are innovative and creative, and that is what people want. Yes, you've worked through the trenches, Charlie. We all have. You've made a name for yourself." Misha looked guilty, " I have to admit. I may have lied and said Richard wanted you to spread your wings. It was more...me. You have raw talent and pure intentions. You don't want power, profit, or money. So yes, I may have innocently manipulated you into taking our account, but I don't regret it for a minute. I don’t think you’ve regretted it either,” Misha said, giving Charlie a suggestive knowing look. “Especially having you here. You exceeded my expectations. I have come to respect you more knowing what I know. Knowing how much you've endured and the resilience you have gained, makes for an even better person. I started Random Acts to inspire people to do better, do more. You do that, Charlie."</p><p>She just sat there, processing what he was saying, not saying anything.</p><p>"So, does this mean I get to call HR about bringing you on?" Misha asked with excitement.</p><p>"Oh. You were serious," Charlie said.</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"I would have to quit my job and…" Charlie began to think.</p><p>"Okay. Okay. It's okay. We can totally talk about this at another time more convenient than now. I’m not trying to throw this on you."</p><p>Charlie looks at him, stumped. "I'm not saying no. I just-"</p><p>"Need to think about it. As you should," Misha said and patted Charlie's hand. "But I also came here to add that I spoke with the team, and it's beginning to look like we might want to push back the dates. The only respective time we can do, would be after January."</p><p>"Oh. Yeah, we can figure that out," Charlie said, looking down at her laptop.</p><p>"It's a thought! Not written in stone."</p><p>"No, it would make sense. It would definitely give us more time to get everything done better. I can move some stuff around and get a sketch together by Friday's meeting. Is that still virtual?"</p><p>"Yup, 9AM"</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"So, I'm holding off on reaching out to HR, right?"</p><p>Charlie gave Misha a look, and he threw his hands up. "That's a hard no, at the moment. Got it. Got it. I'll change the subject,” he said, watching Charlie as she wrote down her notes. “How are you and Jensen?"</p><p>Charlie rolled her eyes, "I swear. You and Maggie are like the devil's advocates. Except you're the cute little angel one and she's the evil red haired little minx on Jensen’s shoulder."</p><p>Misha laughed, about to say something, but Charlie’s phone chimes. It was a message from Kathy.</p><p>"One second. Been waiting got this," she said, turning her attention to her cell phone.</p><p>Kathy: Charlie! Hi, sorry. I’m actually out on vacation with the kids and Jon until next week. I asked Beau to reach out to you for legal, he would have to make the decision in our absence. Hope that’s okay. I read over the details, Jon and I will sponsor of course! I should be back to the office late next week. If you would like to talk then. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, when I get a chance. Hope you are well! Miss your face. Talk to you soon.</p><p>Charlie has to calm herself after reading the message. <strong><em>Fuck.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie: Hey love. No worries. Sorry to bother you on your vacation. I can wait till your back. Just give me a call tomorrow. Would love to catch up.</p><p>Charlie turned her attention back to Misha, who was looking at his phone too.</p><p>"Sorry. What were you not asking?"</p><p>Misha chuckled, still looking at his phone, typing. <strong><em>How much does he know? How much does Jensen tell him?</em></strong></p><p>"Misha, we both know, you know exactly how it is going," she said, referring to her and Jensen's relationship. She gives him a look, "My question is how much does he tell you? and will it make me cry?"</p><p>Misha began to laugh. Charlie swore she saw a hint of red in his cheeks. She panics. <strong><em>Yes, it will make me cry.</em></strong></p><p>"If you are worried about him telling everyone about you two...shaking the trailer,” he said with humor. <strong><em>Yup, Jensen tells him everything.</em></strong> “So, to speak, no. Jensen's not like that."</p><p>"Really?” Charlie said, looking at Misha with arms and legs crossed.</p><p>"Nothing out of the ordinary, Charlie. I promise. He's not like that. He just... opens up."</p><p>Charlie squints at him. “Yeah, see. When you say nothing out of the ordinary, there is your ordinary, and then there is my ordinary.”</p><p>Misha laughs again, “Fine, we definitely talk about you on occasion. I don’t know what he tells Jared though.”</p><p><strong><em>FUCK. I forgot about Jared.</em></strong> Charlie puts her face in her hands and just begins to laugh to herself. "Uh, I need more girlfriends," Charlie said, thinking about what she said. She corrected herself, "Sorry. I need girlier friends. Maggie doesn’t count. I’m pretty sure she’s been playing for the other team since the beginning.”</p><p>“I think you’re right about that one.”</p><p>“Ugh, how is Jared? Is he here?"</p><p>"He's good. He's actually back in Texas for the next few days. Something came up."</p><p>"Oh. Is everything okay?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, they're great. He just wanted to be with Tom and Shep when they went back to school. So, they all flew back together."</p><p>"Oh, okay. Good. Gen's pregnant, right?"</p><p>"Yup, five months."</p><p>"That's awesome. I haven't had much time with Jared yet, but I've watched a lot of his interviews and stuff about his mental health. I think it's great he uses his platform to speak about something so many people get uncomfortable about."</p><p>"Yeah, we have a feeling you two would hit it off. He's been pretty preoccupied lately with Gen being pregnant. But he's heard a lot about you and has kinda said the same thing. Different details."</p><p>"Me?" Charlie asked, surprised.</p><p>Misha laughed at her facial expression. "Why do you look like that? Is it so far for people to find what you do and what you've endured distinguished?"</p><p>"No. Not to the same extent. I fought my battles in the dark. I'm a nobody, from nowhere. I didn't grow up in the spotlight. Not really. He did. Jared opens up about it. He encourages others to be open about it too. In my experience, people can be very cruel. I can only imagine what it's like to have that much of yourself exposed to so many people, but for him, it's literally the world."</p><p>"Okay, and you're a woman who dedicated her life to helping others because of the things you have been through and the wounds you bear. Jared has persevered and came out the other side to tell his story, so have you. It makes you both all the better for it."</p><p>"I guess. I still don't see it being the same."</p><p>"No one can ever see themselves for who they are."</p><p>"True, but still...irrelevant."</p><p>“I think not.” Charlie just smiled and then ignored him.</p><p>Misha went on to hang around for an hour. She ignored calls from Richard and other work people, sending them straight to voicemail. She got emails all day. She ignored them as well.</p><p>Jensen eventually came back to the trailer. Charlie was apprehensive about her going to set with him. She felt he had an ulterior motive. He playfully picked her up from the couch, throwing her over his shoulder and pulling her out of the trailer. </p><p>“Put me down Ackles. Don’t man handle me.” Charlie yelled as he walked her down the steps. </p><p>“I said I was gonna scoop you up if you didn’t willingly come.”</p><p>Charlie laughed as she smacked his ass and back, until she saw a few people looking at her, laughing, and she shut up, not resisting anymore. </p><p>Jensen felt her calm and put her down. Walking with her, he intertwined their fingers, grounding her a bit, knowing she was nervous. As they walked to wardrobe and set, he introduced her to his daily crew. The people that do his wardrobe and makeup every day. He made Charlie go on set with him, letting her sit through a shot.</p><p>Charlie got to sit through a scene being filmed. The scene was him and Misha together with Lisa Berry, who apparently played death. She didn’t know the context of the scene or script, but she loved it. It was the most amazing moment when she finally heard the director yell, “Cut. Print. Check the gate.”</p><p>Charlie was so excited she jumped up and down giddy, watching the boys play pretend. She adored Jensen for bringing her to set. Now she got why he was so stringent about her coming to the studio. He wanted her here to be on set to see how his job was. How he spends his day to day. It was intriguing.</p><p>One second they were Misha and Jensen and the next they were Castiel and Dean Winchester. Experiencing this helped her get her away from the bullshit for a little. She was distracted and feeling better.</p><p>Charlie eventually returned back to the trailer. Going with making this being a personal day, she works on the little details on selling her house. She needed to head to Arizona soon to get the papers situated. Needing to get the house appraised and inspected, apparently that required her being in Arizona as well.</p><p>-- 8:12 PM--</p><p>Alone in the trailer, Charlie sits on the couch. Her music plays in the background as she sifts through California properties, her realtor was recommending. When selling the house Charlie planned on buying another. Wanting to keep some form of property in her name. She was tired of apartment buildings and city life. She just kept pushing off selling, because that meant she had to decide where to live.</p><p>Charlie wasn’t sure if she wanted to permanently stay in Washington. She loved it, but she missed the heat and sun and warmth. She also didn’t want to go to Arizona, the only thing there was her mother and memories. She needed something in the middle. She had family in California, she thought about settling there. But for now, Charlie focused on selling her childhood home.</p><p>As she worked on her computer, she didn't hear Jensen come in. He softly entered his trailer to find her listening to <em>Elton John's ‘Fathers Gun’</em>. She was singing along to the lyrics, surprising Jensen with her ability to actually sing the vocals. She hummed perfectly to the guitar strings as she clicked away at her computer.</p><p>"Whatcha doin'?" Jensen asked, laying his elbow on the counter and looking down at her.</p><p>Charlie was a little surprised hearing his voice. She didn’t get startled this time; her body automatically knew it was him. She turned around and looked at him, giving him a shy smile.</p><p>"Looking at properties. You got done early?"</p><p>“Yup,” Jensen said before walking around to sit on the couch opposite her. Keeping a distance as she laid back with her computer sitting atop her crossed leg.</p><p>"Where you lookin’?”</p><p>“California.”</p><p>Jensen nodded his head, “You ditchin’ the rain and glum for Hollywood and surfboards?”</p><p>“I have family in Palo Alto, but I don’t know. I’m just lookin’. I kept pushing this off, figured maybe it’s time.”</p><p>“So you’re selling, to buy a new one?”</p><p>“Eventually, yes.”</p><p>“To move or to own property?”</p><p>“Haven’t decided yet. My uncle insists it’s always good to have some property or some form of ownership.”</p><p>“He’s not wrong. Could always head on down to Texas,” Jensen said in a slight but amazing southern accent.</p><p>Charlie gave him an evil smile, watching his lips. “And why would I move there?”</p><p>“Jared. He would love it,” Jensen said, being funny. “Besides, whatever you buy in Cali would be three times the price, compared to Texas.”</p><p><strong><em>Touché.</em></strong> “So would Arizona.”<br/>
“So why not Arizona?”</p><p>Charlie’s face fell a bit, “There’s nothing for me there. Nothing good anyway.”<br/>
Jensen needed more info on that, but let it go for the moment. He got up from his couch, walking over to hers. He laid himself across the cushions, resting his head against her lap, facing her stomach. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him. Tired from his day of stunts and director prep.</p><p>Charlie turned down the music while he laid there. Rubbing his head and playing lightly with his hair. She used her other hand to click away at her computer.</p><p>After a few minutes, she felt Jensen's breathing slow down and knew he was asleep. She moved the laptop off her leg, gently sliding it into her work bag while holding Jensen's head in place.</p><p>She grabbed her phone and laid back on the couch a bit. Using one hand to cradle his head, while the other held her phone. She looked him over for a second, admiring his adorable sleeping features. Charlie bent down softly, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek.</p><p>She sat with Jensen on her lap and checked her social media accounts. Finally seeing that Misha found her accounts a few days ago and followed her. Charlie laughed to herself. <strong><em>He is a force to be reckoned with.</em></strong></p><p>Her neck and back needed a break, so she relaxed back into the cushions, turning the TV on. Keeping the audio on mute with subtitles, watching Archer. A half an hour later, Charlie began to feel Jensen stir on her lap. She looked down at him, patiently waiting for him to realize where he was and who he was sleeping on.</p><p>Jensen finally looked up for a second, seeing Charlie. The brightness and sleep daze made him close his eyes again. Laying his head back down, "I fell asleep on your lap?" he asked, his voice deep and groggy.</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"How long?"</p><p>"It's 8:56, so a little over a half-hour."</p><p>Jensen shot up. "Shit, did my phone go off or anything?"</p><p>"Nope. No vibrations either." She saw him physically relax.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," he sat up on the couch, trying to wake himself up.</p><p>"It's okay," she chuckled. "I thought you were just resting your head, but then you started breathing very lightly. I wanted to wake you, but you were out like a little lamb." She laughed and could swear she saw him blush.</p><p>Charlie uncrossed her legs and went to stand up. But Jensen wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back down. Bringing his mouth to her neck, making her curl into him. He growled into her skin, putting his free hand on her leg and began to ride it up her thigh, caressing her over her jeans. Charlie smiled, knowing he was making a play at the fact that she changed, and he didn’t have easy access anymore.</p><p>She giggled. "Stole your shirt too."</p><p>Jensen looked down at her chest, he liked that the shirt fit better on her. It was a designer STAG shirt, with a mountainside and dripping clock design.</p><p>"I don't know. I kinda like it on you," Jensen said, looking over the area of the design and how it stretched over her breasts. "Was kinda looking forward to buying you a new set though.”</p><p>"Well, it’s good to know you’re still a typical dude.”</p><p>"Because I want to buy you something nice?"</p><p>"No, because you just want an excuse to see me in sexy lingerie," Charlie said with a giggle.</p><p>Jensen pulled her into a kiss, adding passion. He dived his tongue into her mouth as he grabbed her neck, bringing her closer to him.</p><p>She let Jensen have all he wanted. As he goes to pull away, he takes her lower lip, biting down on it. Pulling it as he moves from her face. Charlie whined, bringing her hand to his dick, grabbing him firm but not too hard.</p><p>"Ahh. Okay. Okay. I get the point," Jensen said after letting her lip go. He shook his head at her. Amazed at how she had a way of being docile and restrained, while also meeting his crazy. "Come on. Let's get some food."</p><p>“PLEASE.”</p><p>Jensen stands then helps her up, wrapping his arms around her waist, placing a sweet kiss on her cheek. He looked over her face, meeting her eyes, looking earnest and lost in thought.</p><p>Charlie takes one of her hands, bringing it to his cheek and swiping her thumb over his bottom lip. "What is it?"</p><p>“I’ve become very infatuated with you," he said, laying his forehead against hers. </p><p>Charlie wrapped her arms around him and tucked her face into his neck, smelling him. "I'm right there with you."</p><p>"Come on, let me take you dinner," Jensen said, kissing her cheek before intertwining his fingers with hers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Where Have You Been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jensen organized a ride for them to be dropped off at a restaurant bar in close walking distance from Jensen's apartment. A place him and Jared went to frequently. They wanted to grab a quick bite together. The place didn’t stop taking orders till 10:30, so they had time. As they were seated, Jensen took a few minutes to respond to a few texts from Danneel.</p><p>"Sorry, that was about JJ."</p><p>Charlie was looking over the menu and looked up when he spoke, "You're fine. No worries.”</p><p>At that moment the waitress came to take their orders. Jensen ordered the same thing he always got. Charlie told the waitress to give her the same.</p><p>"I love that you just ordered a burger and beer.”</p><p>“Why? That’s what you ordered.”</p><p>Jensen shrugged, biting his lower lip with a smile.</p><p>“Or is it because I’m a dainty girl who eats salads and smoothies?”</p><p>“Something like that. Figured some hard work had to result in that figure.”</p><p>“Partially, it’s genetics, I’ll admit. I also have the philosophy of, I can burn it off later. And until recently, that meant 6AM runs or yoga. I am an ugly burger eater though, so enjoy.”</p><p>Jensen laughs, “Okay.”</p><p>“Can it be my turn to ask you probing questions now?" Charlie asked after the waitress walked off, leaving their drinks.</p><p>“Sure."</p><p>Charlie nodded her head, hesitating for a second. "How did you meet Danneel?"</p><p>Jensen smiled at her forwardness. "We knew each other years before we started dating. Hung around mutual friends, all actors or musicians to some extent. She dated an old buddy of mine. So eventually, we became friends. We both got cast in an indie movie by chance. Filmed it during my off time from Supernatural. Somewhere in all that, we just clicked. Dated for a few years. Got engaged then married and eventually had our daughter." Jensen felt sad towards the end, thinking about JJ.</p><p>"You really adore your daughter, don't you?" she asked.</p><p>"Of course," he shrugged.</p><p>"Not to say you're a man that wouldn't. Obviously, you love your child. But you definitely have a certain level of affection and devotion towards her. Daddy's girl kinda thing, I guess. It's cute... endearing."</p><p> Jensen smiled at her. "She's my world."</p><p>"A world you'll be seeing soon."</p><p>"Yes. She misses me, I could tell. She knows there is something going on. She's starting to ask questions. The hard questions," Jensen said, taking a swing of his beer.</p><p>"She'll be okay. Just be there, be consistent, no matter what. I can't imagine things will be like this forever. There's going to be a difficult period before there is a balance. You're in it. And you have a choice, both of you. Be parents or exes. It's not really the divorce that affects the well-being of a child. Usually, it's the parent's inability to be amicable."</p><p>Jensen nodded his head, agreeing. "You learn that in grad school?" he asked, with a hint of sarcasm.</p><p>"Yes,” Charlie chuckled. "And experience. I am a child of divorce. I think I turned out pretty well, considering."</p><p>"Was it hard?"</p><p>"No. My dad loved me very much. I had a lot of family, on his side. But my upbringing has no parallels with JJ's."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, curious. "Why?"</p><p>"Because, and I realize I'm just assuming here, I highly doubt you or Danneel will walk away from the responsibility of your child. Or spend a decade battling each other's ego."</p><p>"Is that what it was like for you?"</p><p>Charlie thought about how to answer. "Kind of, yes. My mom left when I was four. Moved back to New York with her twins. She did the bare minimum to say she was a mother, I guess. Around during some holidays and birthdays when I was a kid but not really. I was raised by my father. And in hindsight, I think I’m grateful for that a bit. I believe he raised me well. He was very loving. To me, anyway. Kinda ornery towards the end.”</p><p>"What about your mom?"</p><p>“What about her?”</p><p>“Tell me about her.”</p><p>Charlie looks at her beer woefully, thinking about her mother. “She’s beautiful. Smart. Too smart for her own good. She’s… charming and caring but vain, very vain. And overly critical,” she said before taking a swing of her beer.</p><p>"What did you mean you’re grateful in hindsight?"</p><p>“Hard to explain without going on a rant. My siblings are just…something. Just grateful I didn’t become them.”</p><p>Jensen looks at her, wanting her to continue.</p><p>“You don’t want to hear about my family.”</p><p>“I do. I feel like you have a very complex family dynamic.”</p><p>“When it comes to my mother, sure. It’s just her, my brother and sister. My father’s family, they’re saints. Thank god.”</p><p>“Well, I guess you gotta get it from somewhere.”</p><p>Charlie laughed, “See that’s the thing. The book worm, Intellectual, Creative side, I get from my father. My overly wacky, passionate, obsessively neurotic nature. All the parts you love. I get from my mother.”</p><p>“And your siblings?”</p><p>“Frank and Trixie are… the opposite of me,” she said, looking at him, trying to figure out how to word this. “I never know how to explain them without… making myself look like an ass.”</p><p>“It’s okay. Just say it.”</p><p>“I don’t know. Do you get completely along with your brother and sister?”</p><p>“Yes. Sure, we’ll have an argument here or there, but for the most part, were very close.”</p><p>“Well aren’t you lucky.”</p><p>“I’m not trying to brag,” Jensen chuckled. “Just trying to understand you better I suppose.”</p><p>She shrugged. “They’re my older brother and sister. We were never around each other much, growing up. And when we were, it wasn’t happy experiences. But, to give you an idea, I guess. Frank is momma’s boy. Got married and had three kids before he was 21 and now works a dead-end construction job in Arizona. Which is fine, there is nothing wrong with that. Except he has a major attitude problem and goes from contractor to contractor, which effects his ability to get work. So, he’s either always on unemployment or mooching off my mom. Or me, because I support my mom. My sister, Trixie… She’s an acquired taste. Married Bruce, a nice guy who works in I.T. He lets her live the ‘stay at home mom life’. Actually, didn’t give him the choice. After she popped out their first daughter, she refused to go back to work. Can’t afford it, but she doesn’t care. Poor Bruce.” Charlie chuckled, shaking her head.</p><p>“Okay…I feel like there’s more though.”</p><p>“They never went to college or ever really took life seriously. Which again, no judgement on that. But they walk around in life as if the world owes them something. When I inherited my father’s estate, they insisted on reparations.”</p><p>“Seriously?” Jensen asked put off.</p><p>Charlie nodded her head, “Which is why, me selling the house is something I put off. They’ll never let me hear the end of it. To them I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. We weren’t rich, my dad was just business smart. I just never had a good relationship with them. They always thought I was… pretentious or, I don’t know, self-righteous. Which I am sometimes, but whatever.”</p><p>“I don’t see that, at all.”</p><p>Charlie shrugged, “I’m like that to them. I’ll admit that. They’re just… difficult. I tend to stay away but it’s my nature to help. When my dad died and left me everything, that didn’t go so well with them, that created a huge divide. More specifically, with my mother. I help her because she’s my mom, but I keep them at arm’s length.” Charlie looked at Jensen, “You’re probably regretting the decision to learn about my family.”</p><p>“Nope.” He laughed, “Did you father leave you good?”</p><p>“He left me set. Yes.”</p><p>“So you take care of your mom?”</p><p>“I just made sure she’s financially okay. A house over her head, car to drive, food to eat. She has a yoga gig in Scottsdale, but it’s more of a hobby than it is a lifeline.”</p><p>“The little pieces are starting to make sense,” Jensen said, watching Charlie think.</p><p>“What pieces?”</p><p>“You know. Who you are. Why you are the way you are.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with the way I am?” she asked, teasingly curious.</p><p>“Nothing, you’re perfect. I’m trying to figure out how to replicate the process.”</p><p>Charlie smiles and clears her throat, crossing her legs under the table. “Well, that-that was… definitely a panty dropper, Ackles.”<br/>Jensen laughed, “That’s how I do.” Giving her a wink.</p><p>Charlie laughed back, taking a final.</p><p>"You know Misha told me what you said?"</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"Jared... and yourself."</p><p><strong><em>Seriously?</em></strong>  "You guys talk too much," Charlie said, looking away from him at the other faces in the restaurant.</p><p>"We effectively communicate," he said straight.</p><p>"It's more of a codependence, if you ask me.”</p><p>Jensen looked at her through narrowed eyes. "I'm gonna ignore that."</p><p>Charlie's smile widens. <strong><em>Please don’t.</em></strong></p><p>"For what it's worth, I think he's right. I think they're both right,” Jensen said.</p><p>"This being, me as a real-life superhero?"</p><p>"You're feisty today. I like it. Was beginning to wonder what was under that soft sweet exterior."</p><p>“You have no idea.”</p><p>"You can't see it. Can you?"</p><p>"See what?"</p><p>"How amazing you are?"</p><p>The waitress came with another round of beers, letting them know their orders will be out soon. Charlie avoided his eye contact, taking a swing of her beer.</p><p>"No, I can't," she said.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because. I don't know. I can't. You guys can walk around with this unfaltering confidence, but I can't."</p><p>"But you're beautiful. In every sense of the word. You're intelligent, self-sufficient, compassionate. You even have an amazing personality. That's just the inside. Outside, your gorgeous. Own that shit,” Jensen finished.</p><p>"It's not that simple."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"I don't know, Jensen. I can't change how I was made to see myself. I wasn't always told these things. People didn’t always tell me that stuff. Growing up, I was awkward and outcasted. I had braces and a bowl cut for my early teen years. Because my sister put nail polish in my hair and it took forever to properly grow back.”</p><p>“Jesus.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s like a thing. I literally will not cut my hair short. That’s why it’s stays longer,” Charlie said, grazing her hand over her long brown hair, playing with the curled ends. “It wasn't until I grew curves, and boobs, that people, men mainly, began paying me mind. At that point, I was past self-conscious and self-loathing. I hated it. The other stuff… I don’t know. If you ever meet my mother, trust me, you'll get me just fine."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"She's just that mom that shows love and affection through constant criticism and the achievement of perfection. You know, my whole need to make things perfect and a people pleaser, because of my extreme lack of self-confidence and need for validation. Yeah, that was her gift to me. Well, that and life, I guess."</p><p>"Yeah, that would explain a lot."</p><p>"After my dad died, I moved to New York to get closer to her. She's the one that persuaded me to get Lasik, gave me a fashion sense and do a constant regimen of yoga. I didn't find myself aesthetically or even sexually until my twenties. Hell, I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-one."</p><p>"Really?" Jensen asked, evidently surprised. His face, almost looking appalled.</p><p>Charlie chuckled at his reaction, "Yes."</p><p>"Wait. Wait. What?"</p><p>"I told you. It's not easy for me to just see what you see. When it comes to everything else … I have a lot of anger and regret. It may not seem like it, but it’s in here. I'm not this glorified being to be praised simply for surviving."</p><p>"But you are."</p><p>"My lord, the conversations I'm being forced to have today," Charlie said to herself.</p><p>"Look, I'm sorry. I am not trying to dredge up old wounds. I am, however saying, that you need to at least see yourself."</p><p>Charlie fidgeted with the bottle in her hand, and the waitress finally came with their food. The waitress walked away with a smile, taking their empty bottles.</p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen. He was waiting for some form of a response.</p><p>"You're right. You're one hundred percent right," Charlie said, giving him what he wanted to hear.</p><p>Jensen watched her as she took another swing of the beer. "This is a really touchy subject for you, isn't it?" he asked.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Okay. I'll refrain from bringing it up again."</p><p>"It is not that you can't bring it up. It's that, the moment I begin to have some semblance of confidence or certainty in myself, things usually fall apart and me along with it. I also don’t want to be my mother so, yes. Touchy subject. I don't like to think about it. It makes me overthink, and when I overthink-"</p><p>"You overreact," he said, finishing her sentence.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"So, twenty-one, huh?"</p><p>Charlie looked down for a second, "Yeah."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, waiting for her to say something else. "Are you going to leave me in suspense?” he chuckled. “Why twenty-one? Who was he? Was it special?" Jensen said the final question with a flamboyant undertone, trying to sound girly.</p><p>Charlie sat quiet for a beat. She didn’t like Beau being the subject of conversation twice in one day. She didn’t like being contacted by him. She didn’t like his existence in her life. But she couldn’t pretend he didn’t exist.</p><p>"No, he wasn’t. I was awkward. I didn't know how to talk to men. Moved to New York. Met one. His name was Beau. Thought he was charming. He was my first time, my first love. Broke my heart and me along with it.”</p><p>Jensen’s face fell, seeing how it affected her. "How?"</p><p>"Oh, you know the story. Sweet ignorant girl meets charming guy, too naive to see he's actually a dick."</p><p>"Did he cheat on you?"</p><p>"No. Worse. He was, for lack of a better term, a misogynistic narcissist. Mixed with my low confidence and need to please people, we didn’t mesh well.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Charlie looked back at that time in her life, “When I met him. He was this sweet, exciting, and charismatic guy. I was living with my mom, getting myself through undergrad. He got me out of my little bubble. Gave me a little confidence. I found myself a bit. More so because I was finally allowed to live my life, to some degree. So, I fell in love. Moved out with him. And after a while, he became manipulative…controlling…self-centered. But I was in love and scared to lose him. To lose anyone again and he knew that. He used that.” She was looking at her beer bottle, lost in thought. She finally looked up at Jensen, realizing she just went on a rant about her ex. “There's a lot to it."</p><p>"Do you still talk to him?”</p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen, not wanting to admit this next part but needed to be honest. “Um, no. Not-not really.” Charlie cleared her throat. “I saw him a few years back,” Charlie said, feeling nervous.</p><p>Jensen could sense her uneasiness, “What is it?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about it.”</p><p>“You can’t do that. You can’t bring up something obviously serious enough to make you nervous to tell me and say you don’t want to talk about it. What is it?”</p><p>“It’s nothing like that. I just don’t like the fact that his existence has worked itself into my day, twice.” Jensen looked at her confused. “His company is a sponsor for the event. By mistake he got involved. It’s probably nothing but he’s a black hole I like to stay away from.”</p><p>Jensen sat back in the chair, looking her over. Realizing what’s gotten her so on edge about him. “Let me guess, you slept with him?”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, “No…yes.”</p><p>“Recently?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“When?”</p><p>“Years ago. I was drunk, grieving and lonely,” she admitted with her head down, feeling ashamed.</p><p>“So, he took advantage of you.”</p><p>Charlie pinched her nose feeling the stress riddle her body. She knew he was going to say that. “No.” <strong><em>Yes.</em></strong></p><p>“What would you call it?”</p><p>“A lapse in judgement?”</p><p>“Sure,” Jensen said, seeming upset. But more so at the fact that, whoever this dude was, took her at a weak point and got his way with her, again. "Okay."</p><p>Jensen nodded. "Were there others?"</p><p>"Are you asking me how many people I've slept with? Or how many I've slept with since becoming a bereaved fiancé?"</p><p>"The ladder."</p><p>She laid back in her chair. "You first… since the divorce. Which happened when exactly?" The waitress came to check on them, leaving another round of beers, as Jensen was about to answer.</p><p>When she finally walked away, he answered, "Five well, four your five. And she filed five months ago. We've been separated for eight."</p><p>Charlie cleared her throat while nodding her head, “You're four."</p><p>"Does that number include Gabby?" Jensen said with a grin trying to light the mood.</p><p>Charlie closed her eyes and threw her head back. <strong><em>Fuck you, Maggie.</em></strong> <strong><em>I’m gonna kick you ginger ass. </em></strong>"Are you sure it's not Margaret that should be dating you? Cause I swear, the two of you with one another. One would get jealous.” Jensen smiled brighter at her sentence. " She is a red head,” she spits. “Yes, I included him. Glad to know she filled you in on that little transgression."</p><p>"I could say the same thing about you and Misha,” Jensen said. Charlie was about to object but he finished his thought. “Is that what we're doing? Dating?" Jensen asked.</p><p>“Are we not on a date?"</p><p>"We are. I just feel like our relationship started a bit unconventionally, and seeing as though after, Thursday we'll be heading off in different directions. I wasn’t sure."</p><p>“This is true.” Charlie said, nodding her head. “So, what? You and I are exclusive? Or you come pay me a visit whenever you're in the Seattle area."</p><p>Jensen's face gets serious. "Can I be honest?" Charlie nods her head. "I have filming, conventions, auditions. You're... doing you. I don't know when we'll see each other again after I leave. I'm willing to do it, if that's what you want. But I really don't like the idea of you not being mine, or the idea of anyone else touching you."</p><p>"And the other four..." she tried to think how to phrase the question.</p><p>"They weren't you, Charlie. Not even close. Not to sound like an ass or that guy, but It honestly was just sex. I indulged because I had needs and well a lot of shit on my mind."</p><p>"You don't have to explain yourself, Jensen. I get it. I didn't mean for you too. I was just curious if you tried this with anyone else." Charlie says.</p><p>"No,” Jensen could see the apprehension on her face. “What is it?"</p><p>"Can I be honest now?"</p><p>"Please."</p><p>"You're still married?"</p><p>"Yes," he said uneasily.</p><p>"I don't care. I mean, I care, I would never sleep with you if-" Charlie stopped that sentence before finishing it. "I know you're working things out with Danneel. I know you guys are legally separated and have a daughter. Whatever this becomes, I'm going to support that part of your life. It existed before me and will exist well after me. But…I don't know what I'm doing, and a part of me knows you don't either. I guess I find comfort in that. But It makes me feel like I can never really invest myself, or I'll constantly question shit, knowing you are still married. If that makes sense," Charlie finished.</p><p>"It does."</p><p>"I'm not saying no. I fully plan on going back to my little rainy slice of the world and keep my head down. That’s not really a hardship. But this is different. I know you feel it too. We've both felt it since that first day. What it is or how… I don't know, but I'm also willing to try."</p><p>"How do we do that?" Jensen asked delicately. </p><p>"I have no idea."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Communication Breakdown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Hey, girl, stop what you're doin’,<br/>Hey, girl, you'll drive me to ruin,<br/>I don't know what it is I like about you, but I like it a lot,<br/>Won't you let me hold you, now, let me feel your lovin’ touch.“</p><p>Led Zeppelin- Communication Breakdown 🎶</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After finishing their meals, Jensen and Charlie walked back to Jensen's apartment. He knew they wouldn't be spotted. At least, not within the time and area, they were out. So, him and Charlie walked freely. Jensen giving Charlie a tour of the five-block distance it took to get there. The two walked through the city streets, making conversation as they went. Charlie learned Jared’s apartment was a block away from Jensen’s as they walked by the building.</p><p>A little less then fifteen minutes later, the two rode the elevator up to Jensen’s apartment. After their in-depth conversation, Charlie felt the need to be closer to him. She had to hold onto him. Like he was going to disappear soon. Talking about her family and Beau, made her feel like he had every reason to go running for the hills.</p><p>Once they got to his apartment, the two showered together. They laughed and fooled around but stayed off one another. Mutually making it a point to not have sex and just be in each other's presence.</p><p>After the shower, Jensen gives Charlie a pair of his boxers and a long t-shirt for bed. Sticking her clothes in the wash for her, so she has something for the morning. Allowing her to feel comfortable around his apartment until she can get back to her hotel.</p><p>After the shower, Jensen lays down on his side of the bed, waiting for Charlie to get settled.</p><p>“Good to know, you take forever after a shower. Might be a deal breaker, Maeson,” Jensen says, teasing her.</p><p>Charlie was in the bathroom, moisturizing her skin and face before she settled in.</p><p>“What are you even doing?”<br/>
Charlie finally finished, turning the bathroom light off and stood in the doorway watching him. Wanting really badly to have sex but didn't want to press the matter. It was late, he had work in the morning. <strong><em>Still, a girl had needs. Really, she just needed him. Yeah, just him. </em></strong></p><p>“I have a very specific beauty regimen. Not all of us are born with natural beauty. All you gotta do is shower and you’re done. Jealous,” she said, standing at the nightstand, putting her phone on the charger.</p><p>“What are you talking about? You’re naturally beautiful. Do you even wear make up?”</p><p>“No, not really. I have sensitive skin. I’d rather not look like a tomato. It’s bad enough my cheeks betray me from time to time.”</p><p>Jensen smiled he loved her blushing. “Your skin is gorgeous.”</p><p>“Uh, yeah. Cause I have a specific beauty regimen. You think this shit comes with no effort… I wish.”</p><p>Jensen just looked at her lost. Charlie shook her head with a chuckle.</p><p>“Oh, to be a man.”</p><p>Pulling at the sheets on Charlie's side of the bed, Jensen pats at it playfully, telling her to join him. She jumps on, leaving a quick kiss on Jensen's lips before turning her back to his chest. In each other’s arms, she pushes herself into his groin, causing Jensen to wrap his arm around her waist and squeeze her to him. Preventing her from doing it again. Charlie smiles to herself and closes her eyes, feeling lucky as the two slip into a comfortable sleep.</p><p>Early the next morning, Jensen's 6AM alarm rang next to his ear, successfully pulling him out of his deep relaxing sleep. Blindly moving to grab his phone to turn it off, he finally realized he was resting on Charlie's chest. Her arms draped over his back and neck. He must have rolled onto her sometime into the night.</p><p>Slowly trying his best to get out of their hold without waking her, Jensen softly pulled away. He was unsuccessful. Charlie woke from the movement and sound. She loosened her hold on him, allowing Jensen to quickly move to turn his alarm off.</p><p>Charlie turned on the bed, stretching. She looks up to find Jensen sitting up in the dark.</p><p>He was smiling down at her, finding her adorable as she stretched. "Mornin'. I'm sorry I woke you. It was just my alarm. Go back to sleep," Jensen said, laying himself back down to plant a kiss on her cheek.</p><p>"What time is it?" Charlie asked, sounding half groggy and letting out a yawn.</p><p>"Six. You can stay in bed.”</p><p>She slides up in the bed, grabbing her phone off the nightstand. Looking to confirm the time, shaking her body to wake herself up.</p><p>"I'm awake. It's okay."</p><p>Jensen moved to get off the bed, walking into his closet and getting ready for his day. Yelling into the next room for Charlie as she finally went through her phone, reading all the notifications she ignored the day before.</p><p>"Are you staying here?  Or going to head back to the hotel? Do you need a ride?" Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie was lost in her phone for a second, forgetting to answer.</p><p>"Maeson?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Shouldn't have gone into my phone. I don't know. I didn't think about staying. I can. I know Maggie has been staying at Olivia's. Kinda giving her space. Kinda been paying for an unused hotel…" <strong><em>Should probably call and cancel.</em></strong> Charlie became distracted.</p><p>Jensen walked out of the closet changed. "If she's staying there, you can stay here. It's what... three days? I'm leaving Thursday early morning."</p><p>Charlie instantly became saddened. <strong><em>We only have two more days together.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen saw Charlie's reaction, walking over to her on the bed. "But I'll probably be going to the Eagles concert. Checked it against my schedule, just confirming Danneel isn't going to need me that weekend. So, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And we can definitely see each other before then. We'll just have to play it by ear first. Right?" he says, trying to reassure her.</p><p>Charlie nodded. "I'll see. Mags' birthday is on Friday. So, I'll see what she wants to do. I will probably stay here, though. If you don't mind. I have a feeling Maggie’s going to be with Olivia for the rest of the time anyway." Charlie looked up at him.</p><p>"Nope. Go for it. Snoop around," he said, smiling wide and landing another kiss on her lips.</p><p>Jensen got ready to get picked up soon, and Charlie finally climbed out of bed. She walked into the kitchen and figured out how to use his coffee maker.</p><p>“Do you eat breakfast here?” Charlie yelled.</p><p>“No, I usually have something when I get there.” He yelled back from his room.</p><p>“Coffee?”</p><p>"Yeah, to go. There are tumblers in the cabinet."</p><p>"Cabinet, right."</p><p>Soon after, Jensen leaves for work. His prepared coffee in hand.</p><p>"I'll be home by eight probably. Maybe before. Were on location so, I’ll text you."</p><p>"Okay. That’s fine. Have a wonderful day at work, hon," Charlie responds, making fun of the whole, sending her hard-working lover off to work for the day.</p><p>Jensen smiles, knowing that she was being silly and went along with it, "You gonna make me dinner and have the kids in bed by 8?" Jensen said moving in to give her a sweet kiss.</p><p>"I don't know, does momma get a piece of daddy cake after all that hard work?"</p><p>"Hell, yes."</p><p>Charlie laughs, shaking her head. "Go to work."</p><p>"So. No dinner?"</p><p>"Sure. I'll make dinner. Now go. Before Cliff carries your ass out of this building."</p><p>"Dessert?"</p><p>"Get out of here, Ackles." She laughed.</p><p>After Jensen leaves, Charlie works on her laptop. Responding to team emails and other 'important' communications. Anything that did not fall in her job description, she sent to Derrick. She made sure to CC all directors when she sent the emails back. She was not getting tricked into his work anymore. She was also not getting blamed if it didn't get done.</p><p>Charlie got in contact with her work buddies, giving them more details about the event planning. She invited them to the meeting on Friday with everyone, so they could get a better idea.</p><p>With Charlie’s help, the event received the funding needed. She managed to get a few more sponsors. More funding then proposed which allowed for additional events depending on logistics. Random Acts was scheduled to meet with legal to finalize the deals after Jon and Kathy return to the office. Completely ignoring Beau and his existence for the time being. Even though she knew it was a simple misstep, Charlie wasn’t happy and regretted reaching out to Kathy in the first place.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Of course, the one time it would be incredibly inconvenient for Beau to pop up in my life, he pops up. Haven’t heard from him in almost three years…and of course it’s right when I meet Jensen. Finally feeling good for the first time in a long time, he rears his ugly face. Usually how shit goes for me.</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day, she worked. Rotating between her phone, laptop, calls, and emails. Her main focus was Random Acts. She knew it was a big account for her company, but also, she really wanted to help Misha out. She kept in contact with Misha's team and Olivia, working out details. Everything slowly coming together.</p><p>Taking the time out of her day and feeling determined, Charlie researched the new non-profit that bought her company out. Learning what she needed to know going forward. She thought it would help her feel better. It didn’t. It made her feel worse.</p><p>Around 1 o'clock Charlie took the time to call Maggie, missing her best friend and wanting to catch up.</p><p>"I'm sorry I've been in and out during this little birthday outing of ours," Maggie said.</p><p>“Well, it’s your birthday, you can do whatever you want with it. Technically I was supposed to be down here by myself. Besides, you’re happy. What more could I ask for? Please do whatever, I don’t care. I see your face enough anyway,” Charlie said with a laugh.</p><p> "Thank you. I've just been so wrapped up in Liv, and I meant to tell you. I got a call back from Amblin. Finally. I have a meeting with an exec next month."</p><p>"Amblin Production Company in Cali?!" Charlie asked, her voice getting really high. She knew how hard Maggie has been working for something. "Like, E.T phone home, Steven motherfucking Spielberg, Amblin?"</p><p>Maggie laughed and squeals in excitement. "Yeah. Apparently, my name was brought up by one of the reps. They looked into me, got my portfolio, everything I sent them forever ago. I’m working on getting them my updated projects. They don't have a position for me yet, but they want to meet with me. They are in pre-production on a project, and they're looking to make me PA. Maybe even, eventually, a 3rd AD."</p><p>"Third Assistant Director?”</p><p>“Yes.” Maggie laughed.</p><p>“I know my Hollywood knowledge is rusty. So, like Director? Then assistant director? Then another assistant director? then you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Oh, my fucking god. Isn’t that like… big? I mean I know you’re not director, director, but that seems big…”</p><p>"Yeah. It is. It’s a huge fucking foot in the door."</p><p>“Holy shit. That-that is…Wow. That-that is awesome. I can only assume someone put in a good word. Not to say…”</p><p>“No. You’re right. Most likely. Based on the timing, I can think of a few who might have."</p><p>“True.”<br/>
“Gotta admit, I’m kinda nervous.”</p><p>"You? Nervous? Never.” Charlie laughed. “You might have to go in there and sell yourself a bit, but knowing you, you're going to kill it."</p><p>“Thank you.”<br/>
“I wanna squeeze you right now. How dare you not tell me this, Mags?"</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry. I found out Monday morning, but then you had that thing at work. And I know you support me, but you also know if I get the position, I will have to move to Los Angeles."</p><p>"I know. I figured. I'll be fine. Besides, I'll have a place to crash while I'm in LA. Please don't keep this stuff from me. This is really important to you."</p><p>“I won’t. I promise.”</p><p>"Ahhh! My little Maggie got a big girl job!" Maggie laughs at her. Charlie could not contain the pride and happiness she felt. Maggie has worked tirelessly for years to build up her portfolio, and it is finally paying off.</p><p>“Yeah, I was surprised when they called. It was an amazing birthday gift. Among other things.”</p><p>“Ohh, that sounds like things with you and Olivia are going very, very well."</p><p>“You can say that," Maggie said, playing modest.</p><p>"Nope, you don't get to withhold from me. Tell me everything." Charlie thought about what she said. She knew all too well what Maggie was capable of. She shook her head to the memories. " On second thought, tell me almost everything.”</p><p>Maggie laughs at her friend, giving her some updates on her and Olivia's relationship. Apparently, she has been taking advantage of British Colombia while Charlie was busy. She has been traveling the scopes, getting good shots. She was excited to get back home and get them printed.</p><p>Maggie informed Charlie; Olivia was from Los Angeles but shared a loft with a roommate in British Colombia while filming. Olivia was a Visual Arts major as well. Gaining insight and credit for being on set throughout the year. Working as Misha's personal assistant while he filmed. Especially given the various projects Misha works on at any given time. Starting as an organized partnership from the studio, Misha hired Olivia personally after Maison was born.</p><p>After the show ends and filming is over, Olivia will be finishing school at USC. Maggie wasn't going to admit it, but Olivia living in Los Angeles was also an incentive for her to move there. In addition to that fact that they were both film majors, trying to make their dreams come true. Charlie felt her best friend slowly slipping away from her, but she couldn't be upset. She had to be happy for her. And she was happy. But she also felt… replaced.</p><p>Maggie was going to stay at Olivia's, trying to use whatever time they had left together. Charlie could relate, and she didn't mind either. She and Maggie have lived together for a long time now they can use some time apart. Especially with Charlie being in the same boat, wanting to spend time with Jensen.</p><p>The trip to Vancouver was just a means of getting Maggie out of her little slump. Being between jobs and dealing with a slowdown in her commissions. Charlie was glad to see everything falling into place for her best friend.</p><p>She contacted the hotel and canceled the reservations for the rest of their stay. Luckily, the reservations were under her job's business account, but on Charlie's credit card. So, they didn’t give her a hard time.</p><p>The rest of the day, she worked, and by 5 o'clock was getting dinner together. In between checking the food, she watched Supernatural. She was finally on Season 2 and was hooked and excited.</p><p>Sometime after 7, she showed and sat on the couch, waiting for Jensen to come home. At some point, she must have fallen asleep.</p><p>After work, Jensen walked into his apartment to find Charlie passed out on the couch. She was watching Supernatural. He let out a small laugh seeing she was only on season 2.</p><p>"Guess I know what you've been doing today?" Jensen said to himself.</p><p>He made a note of her episode number, glad she was taking the time to watch the show. Jensen gently picked Charlie up from the couch, bringing her over to the bedroom. He laid her down, cuddling up to her and began falling to sleep as well. He didn't know what it was about her, but she always brought him calm.</p><p>Charlie woke soon after to the sound of her phone ringing in the distance. She looked around, realizing she was in Jensen's room. Moving to sit up, Charlie felt his arms around her waist. She turned to look at him, seeing a peaceful sleeping Jensen.</p><p>Charlie didn't want to wake him. She tried to slip from his arms, but he moved. Instinctively pulling her back to his body, cuddling his face into her hair. Jensen begins to feel she is awake. He opens his eyes to find her looking up at the ceiling. He smiles, still half asleep with his eyes closed.</p><p>"Hey, you," he says with a deep hoarse morning voice that vibrated the bed and gave her goosebumps.</p><p>"Hey back," Charlie says, turning around in his arms, watching him slowly wake up. He began to open his green eyes to her, glowing in the moonlight. She just watched in awe.</p><p> <strong><em>God, you’re fucking gorgeous. How do I get to wake up next to you?</em></strong></p><p>Jensen pulled her closer to him, pressing a kiss on her lips.</p><p>“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked after she kept staring.</p><p>"Nothing," she said timidly, moving to dive her neck into the pocket between his neck and the pillow hiding her from him. He laughs, still sleepy.</p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>"You're gorgeous, and I'm hungry," Charlie immediately froze when she realized the possible double meaning of that sentence. She pushed her face into his chest as it turned to beat red. <strong><em>Fucking cheeks.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen watched her face go from smiling to horror before hiding it from him, realizing how her words could have been interpreted. Laughing, he moved his hands to rub on her back.</p><p>He kisses her head and moves to get off the bed, slowly letting Charlie roll onto the spot he was lying on. She laid on her stomach and pressed her face into his pillow, taking in a deep whiff of it. She could never get used to the sweet smell of him.</p><p>Jensen watches and chuckles, bringing his hand over her ass and smacking down on it. Charlie growls into the bed and naturally pushes her ass more into the air, secretly wanting him to do it again.</p><p>"Come on, dirty girl. Let's feed you," Jensen said.</p><p>Charlie turns onto her back and gives Jensen a wicked smile. She opens her legs playfully and slides down to the middle of the bed. Turning herself around. She looked up at him, her head resting over the edge of the bed.</p><p>"Ready," she said, sticking her tongue out.</p><p>Jensen watched as she turned herself on the bed, putting herself in a perfect position for her mouth to take him. Biting his lip, he balled his hands into fists, trying to hold back on what she was intentionally doing to him.</p><p>Charlie laid there with her hair hanging off the bed, knees bent, and legs freely spread. His shirt she had on hung low, showing the bottom cup of her round breasts. He walked closer to her, bending down and planting a kiss on her sternum.</p><p>Charlie giggles and wraps her hands around him, wanting more. Jensen laughed and moved down to put another kiss on her lips while trying to pull away. Charlie wouldn't let him.</p><p>"You don't fight fair," he said against her lips.</p><p>"Never said I would, Ackles."</p><p>“Okay. You asked for it.”</p><p>Jensen wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled Charlie up off the bed. She screams in surprise and excitement.</p><p>"What are you doing?!" she yells.</p><p>Laughing as her head aligns perfectly with his crotch and her legs just dangle in the air. She continues to cheerfully laugh as she squeezes her legs together, making her body go straight. She balances herself in his arms, and Jensen moved to put her on his shoulder. When her stomach rested on his shoulder, Charlie had to press her hands against his stomach to balance herself up.</p><p>"Put me down," she yelled with a huge smile. "This isn't fair. I don't have man strength."</p><p>Jensen laughed and stabilized her, wrapping his arms up and around her ass. He began walking out of the room, bringing her over to his living room couch. He threw Charlie down playfully.</p><p>When she landed on the couch, he moved to step away, but she pulled him to her. Making him fall between her legs. Charlie pulled his face to hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he deepened the kiss, using his hands to feel all over her body. He is the first to pull away, looking into her eyes.</p><p>"You're going to have to show me some of those yoga gymnastic moves one day."</p><p>Charlie giggles and slowly pushes him off of her, making him laugh as he falls to the cushions.</p><p>"Gotta earn it, buddy, " she said as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. "Watch your game. I'll get your dinner ready."</p><p>Jensen looked at his watch and moved to sit up on the couch, finding the remote and turning the television on. He turns on an NFL game and walks over to the kitchen to help Charlie set up, watching the screen as they worked. Both moving around each other naturally as if it was routine. They eat in silence, sitting at the island, facing the TV.</p><p>A Cowboys vs. Raiders game was on. When the Cowboys lost a play, they both objected in unison.</p><p>“NO!”</p><p>"What the fuck," Jensen yelled, then looked over at her. "You watch sports?" Jensen asks, feeling kind of proud.</p><p>Charlie nods her head, unable to speak with food in her mouth. "Not an avid sports watcher, but I was raised by a man. Kinda came with the territory, I guess. However, I'm more of a Cardinals fan," she said. Really just adding the last sentence to fuck with him.</p><p>“Though I am pleasantly pleased and a little turned on by the fact that you watch sports… the cardinals?” Jensen said in disgust. “Ugh.”</p><p>Charlie just rolled her eyes. "Hey, I am a gem. You can take me to games, and you wouldn't even have to answer a single annoying question. If you're going to judge me over loving my home team, then… bite me." She gives him a quick wink before looking back at the TV.</p><p>"Hmmm. I just might."</p><p>Jensen turned his directions back to the screen as they both finished eating. Jensen went to the couch to finish watching the game. Charlie got up to clean the kitchen. Putting his dishwasher on and the leftovers away. Jensen objected, insisting he would do it after the game. But Charlie was neurotic and had to clean it up. Especially since she was in his apartment, and she was the one who made dinner.</p><p>When she was done cleaning, she sat with Jensen on the couch as he watched the game. He kept his arms around her. His eyes fixated to the TV as she spent some time on her phone. Forgetting she had a missed call she saw that her mother called. She got her a text and began looking through her social media. She made it a point to check out Misha, Jared, Gen, and Jensen’s accounts. She even checked Danneel’s. <em><strong>Meh, she’s so pretty. </strong></em></p><p>Surprised by the random and high number of follows, comments, and likes there were. She discovered Misha posted a montage video letting his followers know what is being planned. His attempt to pre-promote the event before marketing and branding are finalized.</p><p>Charlie sifted through comments responding to some as she could. There were too many to go through them all. The consensus she got was, Misha posted something tagging her, and now some of his fans were following her. <strong><em>Some heads up would have been nice.</em></strong> It was flattering but surprising. She didn't know how to handle it all. After a few minutes and not even putting a dent into the notifications, she was over it and shut her phone off. She moved forward, put the phone on the coffee table, getting Jensen's attention.</p><p>"You alright?"</p><p>Charlie looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, just decided to go on social media. Probably wasn't a good idea."</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Misha announced plans for the festivals. He tagged me in it and told his followers to follow me. I don’t get notifications as things come in. I just check it periodically.”</p><p>"Okay?" Jensen said, waiting for the kicker.</p><p>"Two days, ago I checked, and I have 100 likes and comments from friends. I now have close to 700 new followers, 10 thousand likes, comments, notifications, and he posted the video this afternoon."</p><p>Jensen's face fell, realizing what she was trying to say. “And you didn't want him to do that?”</p><p>"No. It is not that. I just…" Charlie looked at him. Biting her lip. Trying to figure out how to phrase how she's feeling.</p><p>“It’s okay, just say it.”</p><p>"It just scares me a bit, I guess." Jensen turned off the TV, letting the moonlight and the city lights filter through his giant glass windows. He turns to face her and grabs her hand.</p><p>"You didn't have to turn the game off," Charlie said.</p><p>"What about it scares you?" Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie becomes nervous, feeling like the mood just shifted, and it was her fault.</p><p> "I may or may not have googled you the day after we…" she looked away.</p><p>“Had sex.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>“I don’t know. It’s just were together now, I guess and-“</p><p>"you guess?"</p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen and saw his eyebrows were raised, and he was taken back by her wording. "You know what I mean."</p><p>Jensen smiled, giving her a nod for her to continue.</p><p>"I don't like social media. Well, some aspects anyway. I've read the accounts about the girls that fall in your direction, and…" Jensen closed his eyes, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "They're going to find out about me."</p><p>Charlie thought for a second. "Maybe I can just delete my accounts," she said to herself out loud.</p><p>"What? No," Jensen said, sounding a bit annoyed.</p><p>Charlie closed her mouth and looked intently at him.</p><p>"Charlie, if they find out about us, they find out about us. What they say has no bearing on the truth. Yes, there are the … territorial ones that have a weird need to…" Jensen couldn’t finish the sentence. Charlie narrowed her eyes. "There are far more good ones. The ones that make it worth it. The ones we let into our lives. If Misha posted about you, it's because he believes in what you are doing right now, and he believes you can do a lot more. This has nothing to do with me."</p><p>“Yet,” Charlie said, and Jensen sighed.</p><p>"What do you want me to do? Keep you a secret? Never tell the world. Let everyone just think me and Dee are divorcing, and I'm just tucking it between my legs."</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>"No," he said flatly. "Why would I do that?"</p><p>Charlie shrugged, not knowing what to say or how to say it.</p><p>"Are you ashamed of me?" Jensen asked, seeming visibly upset now.</p><p>"NO! Lord Jesus, no," Charlie said, loudly. "Jensen, this is about me. I'm just trying to communicate." She looks down at her phone again. "This is a lot for me. However, I know it's just a matter of immersing myself." Jensen nods his head in agreement. "But what about when they do find out about me? And they look into who I am? I know what they've said about Danneel, your co-stars. They're going to learn about Mathis and my past, and that-THAT makes me nervous."</p><p>“What about your past? Who’s Mathis?”</p><p>"Matt." She moves into her shirt, pulling out the diamond ring that Jensen has tried to completely ignore. "The dude who's ring hangs around my neck as a constant reminder of my failure."</p><p>“Charlie…” he takes in a deep breath. “I’m sure that’s not true. He is not your failure. You are not a failure.”</p><p>"I'm not arguing with you about this again. That is your opinion and perspective of me. You are free to have that. That is not how I see myself. Forgive me for thinking, that is not how the fans are going to see me." Charlie pulls away from him, sitting forward on the couch.</p><p>"Maybe they will. There will always be those bad apples. Trust me, I get it. Some can be a lot, but it's an abundance that you will lean into. I know you are private. You stay to yourself. Hiding away in your little fox hole. What can they possibly say about you that would affect you? To Us? I get that you're apprehensive, but I have faith that you will see that they're not a burden, Charlie. They are what makes it worth it. If I love you, they will love you. The ones that won't, do so out of spite and jealousy. Not on the merit of who you are."</p><p>Charlie really listened to what he had to say. She also tried not to get strung up on the 'I love you' part. She began to feel bad for making him think she was ashamed of him.</p><p>“I don’t want you to hide me. I don’t want to hide you. But …”</p><p>"But, what, Charlie?" Jensen asked, confused a little over the conversation.</p><p>"Can you just take a second and put yourself in my shoes. I'm not waving a white flag and giving in. I'm here. But I need you to get that I have a certain way I have moved through my life. It was not graceful. I get that you think I'm this virtuous person, and maybe I am, but I very much doubt myself. I second guess everything I do. Yes, I am self-sufficient but at a cost. And because I was forced to be. I am also self-deprecating. No matter what I do, I will never live up to the idea of who I was made to believe I should be. And here I am with you. This being that is so loved and rightfully so. You're confident and well, yeah, you're fucking gorgeous," Charlie says, seeing Jensen makes a face in silent objection.</p><p>"See, you don't like it. You don't like being told about yourself in that way. But that's my opinion of you. And well, the opinion of like MILLIONS." She takes in a deep breath. "You're an amazing person Jensen. You're welcoming and warm. You care intensely. You love passionately. That was something I realized and gravitated towards off the bat. On top of all of that, you do for others. You work hard for others. You kill yourself for others. You have these amazing fans, that of course, defend and protect your honor and your reputation. So please get that the idea of being compared to you or with you is terrifying because, in my mind, I could never understand why you chose me."</p><p>Jensen intently watched her now, taking in her words.</p><p>"Misha's post was just a realization that if or when the WORLD finds out about us, that will be my reality. Being reminded of what I already know and feel. And then just having it happen in very high volumes. They are going to find out about Matt what that will mean... I don't know. But that's a moment in my life I feel shameful about." Charlie looked down at her hands now, thinking back at that time. "The idea of others knowing that or judging me on that…scares me."</p><p>Jensen sits back now, having to grasp what she was trying to say.</p><p> "I never thought about it like that, I guess. I'm sorry," he said.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-"</p><p>"No, Charlie." He sat back up, pulling her close to him. "I get it. I guess I just need you to let it out or let me in."</p><p>Jensen could feel Charlie shaking, and he moved her face to look at him, finding tears falling from her eyes. "Fuck, I didn't mean to make you cry."</p><p>"No," she says between sobs. "It's not you. This happens from time to time."</p><p>“You cry?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>"About Matt?" Jensen asks, and Charlie nods.</p><p>"About everything. My life. I'm sorry." She cries again and puts her hands on her face, sobbing into them now.</p><p>Jensen moves her arms, pulling her hands away then cradling her face.</p><p>"Look at me," he said in a stern voice.</p><p> Charlie immediately listened, taking a big breath, and stopped crying. She looked at him and waited for him to speak. He uses his thumbs to wipe the falling tears.</p><p>"One, I am not keeping you from anyone. Grant it, we're kind of under the radar right now, but you just don't deserve that. If your mine, I will show you to the world, not hide you. I'm also not going to flaunt you; you don't deserve that either. If shit hits the fan, I will stand by you all the way through. You are amazing. I get that maybe you don't see that. I even agree you have your reasons. I am not and will never be ashamed of you or the things you have done. You are, who you are, because of what you've been through. I never once assumed you got through that easily. That's just not realistic. I love who you are. I respect you," Jensen said, then moves forward to give her a thoughtful kiss.</p><p>Charlie tries to ignore the little butterflies she feels when Jensen uses the word 'love' again.</p><p>"We can also take this as slow as you need. I get this is a lot for you. After this," he said as he lightly grabbed the ring sitting on her chest, hanging on a chain. He moved it in his fingers, and Charlie watched him play with it. "This is going against the grain for me too. We have no idea what is going to come," he finished, and they both locked eyes.</p><p>Jensen moved forward to land another kiss on her lips. Charlie deepened the kiss, physically relaxing as he pulled her closer to him. He moves his hands down to her hips, pulling Charlie to straddle him. He pushes up into her trying to get friction. Charlie pulls from the kiss and lands her forehead with his as she keeps her eyes closed, relishing in the feeling of him beneath her rubbing.</p><p>Jensen cradled her face making her look at him. "Are you okay?" he asked.</p><p>Charlie nodded as she watched his lips, waiting for him to kiss her again. Jensen gives her a gleaming smile and moves forward to kiss her. His lips land against her teeth as they bite down on her bottom lip.</p><p>Charlie removed her hands from around his neck. Grabbing the back of the couch, balancing herself to move circles over him. He grabbed a handful of her hair and began to lightly pull it, exposing her neck to him.</p><p>Charlie moans as she lets her head fall back. He began kissing the lining of her jaw, all the way down to the collar of her shirt. Prompting him to slide his fingers into the bottom edge of it, pulling it over her head. Letting go of her hair, Jensen gets her shirt off. He dips his head down to kiss her bare breasts. Both perky and nipples hard, waiting for him. Jensen grips onto her waist, holding her close to him as he moves down to take her nipples into his mouth. He moans at the taste of them, the feeling of her.</p><p>Charlie throws her hands back to his knees, giving him more access to her chest as they both grind against each other. She loses herself in the feeling of his lips around her nipples, sucking hard. His hard cock rubbing perfectly against her already wet folds.</p><p>Charlie opened her eyes, locking eyes with Jensen as she removed herself from his arms to stand to her feet. She bent over, pulling the boxers down, and climbs back on top of him. Charlie pushes him into the back of the couch, taking his hands to intertwine their fingers. Moving their hands past his head behind him. She presses her breasts against his chest. Jensen moves his head down, taking them between his teeth. She slammed her lips to his and began to gyrate over his confined cock. Feeling the moisture and wet spot forming on his jeans, she lets go of his hands. Letting them move to hold her, Charlie pulls his head back again, pulling him out of the kiss and exposing his neck to her. He looked up at her with hunger. She gave him a little evil smile taking on the dominant role, reading the excitement and need in Jensen's eyes.</p><p>She presses a small light peck on his swollen pink lips and moves down, pressing her lips against his neck, leaving wet sultry kisses. Charlie slides off his lap and moved to her knees, watching Jensen's reaction. His eyes were dark, and his pupils were dilated, barely seeing hints of his green. He bit his lips and pressed his hands, balled into a fist, against the couch, letting Charlie take control.</p><p>He began to recall the last time she gave him head, and he grew more and more excited. Remembering how amazing her mouth felt. How amazing she worked him.</p><p>Charlie pulled at his t-shirt, making him quickly remove it. She pressed her lips against his chest, leaving wet kisses. Trailing the kisses down his stomach and quickly working to unbuckle him. When she slid her fingers into the waistline of his jeans, Jensen followed cue, lifting his hips for her to slide the jeans and boxers off. She threw them behind her and began kissing his chest again.</p><p>Jensen moved forward, putting his finger under her chin, bringing her lips to his one last time before she devoured him. It was a small power move. Charlie knew it, but she didn't care. She wanted him in her mouth, badly.</p><p>She kissed him back for a second, then she pushed him onto the couch. Leaving Jensen wanting more. She intertwines their fingers together, holding onto them. Making it so he cannot touch her while she takes him.</p><p>Holding their hands against the couch, Charlie makes eye contact with him. He watches her with a dark stair, his breathing becoming shallow with anticipation.</p><p>She lowers her head down, opening her mouth for him, and just taking his tip-in. She closes her mouth down on his head, sucking hard and causing Jensen to thrust up deeper into her mouth with a deep and husky moan.</p><p>"Fuck, Maeson," he says deep.</p><p>The sound of him saying her little name turned her on even more. She took him more into her mouth, bobbing up and down. Getting him all wet. Tasting all of him. She sucked him vigorously, letting his head hit the back of her throat every time before coming back up.</p><p>When she pulled away and off him, he tried to move his hands to stop her, but she just held them to the couch. She smiles at him and then sticks her tongue out. Licking up and down, taking his head in, sucking hard, then taking him in more till it hits her throat. She holds it there for a second and repeats the process.</p><p>Charlie kept this pace. Jensen began to feel that familiar tugging in his groin, her mouth working perfectly around him. He threw his head back, trying to pace himself and not cum. He needed more of this, she was amazing.</p><p>When Charlie took him out of her mouth again, he looked down at her. Immediately seething at the feeling of the air hitting his overstimulated head so abruptly. Charlie took him into her mouth, sucking harder up and down until she heard Jensen moan uncontrollably. It was music to her ears.</p><p>Wanting to give him a piece of his own medicine, even though she loved it. She would pull off of him, kiss his stomach, keeping him at the edge of his release and repeating the process.</p><p>Charlie worked him in and out of her mouth, paying extra attention to his head on the way up. When she deepthroats him, Jensen moans and buck into her mouth. He begins to pull at their hands. Trying to remove their fingers from one another.  Charlie driving him crazy, not allowing him to touch her.</p><p>When she finally lets his hands go, they quickly move to the back of her head. He holds them there for a second, then allowed Charlie to come back up as she sucks hard. She looks up at him with his dick in her mouth. Jensen moans at the sight of her. Her perfect little mouth around him as he pushes her head down farther. He only stops when he feels her lips pressed against his balls, leaving her there, holding tightly around him.</p><p>Jensen pulls her back up his shaft, seeing the tears welling in her eyes from taking him so deep. He hesitated doing it again, but Charlie just took all of him. Going as deep as she could, her lips pressing against his balls, knowing how he liked it. Wanting his cock in her throat as much as he did. Wanting to make him happy, make him cum. Jensen followed, pushing her down and thrusting into her a few times.</p><p>Finally letting her go, Charlie wrapped her hand around his shaft, working him up and down as she sucks his head. He lets out a deep moan and puts his hands back on her head, guiding her movements as Charlie sucks him hard.</p><p>She could feel Jensen begin to twitch in her mouth, and she could taste his precum. She moaned, wanting to taste all of him, grabbing his hips, holding him to her. Charlie picks up her speed around him, wanting him to cum this time. Jensen leans over her, cradling her head as she works him to his release.</p><p>"Oh my god. Fuck." He keeps breathing and pushes down on her back. "Baby, stop. I want to cum inside you,” he says.</p><p>Charlie slows her movements down to a stop. Jensen sits back on the couch, taking deep breaths. She looks up at him, leaving him hard and still standing tall for her.</p><p>Charlie kissed his stomach before moving to her feet, straddling his hips.</p><p>"Miss Me?" he said, being cute,</p><p>"Always."</p><p>Grabbing his hands, she moved them to the back of the couch, "Leave them there," she whispered in a demanding tone.</p><p>Jensen smiles and bites his lip, trying not to find her dominance adorable. She looks at him and hovers her lips over his. "Please."</p><p>Jensen tries to close the kiss, but Charlie pulls away.</p><p>"You see, you might have this strong manly man facade. But I see through you."</p><p>"Yeah?" Jensen asked, giving an arrogant smirk.</p><p>“Yeah. You're just a big old softie, a cuddle bug. My beautiful brawny teddy bear that I love to fuck." she said as she grinds hard into him.</p><p>"Oh god," Jensen moans and closes his eyes to how good it feels. He naturally moves his head forward, needing her lips again.</p><p>"And…" she says, teasing. Never letting their lips touch. "I want to see you fall apart under me."</p><p>Jensen moved his hands to hold her hips, and she stopped them. Pushing them back to the back of the couch, pinning them down. She keeps her lips close to him, hovering and teasing.</p><p>"So, I’m gonna fuck you. I'm not gonna kiss you. You're not gonna kiss me. You're going to keep your hands here. You're not allowed to touch me," Charlie said, moving her hips. Gliding his shaft between her folds. "You're going to sit here and stay hard and let me fuck you," she said, demanding and serious.</p><p>Jensen swallowed hard and began to breathe heavier as he got more and more turned on. Charlie moved to hover her lips over his again, but Jensen didn't advance. He just watched her with lust blown eyes, gripping the back of the couch hard. Charlie let go of his hands, knowing he was keeping them put.</p><p>Using her hands, she put one on his shoulder for balance and the other between her legs. Aligning him with her pussy and began slowly pushing down, taking him in.</p><p>"Holy fuck," Jensen said, letting his mouth fall open with his eyes closed, feeling her.</p><p>Charlie started moving up and down on him slowly. With his eyes closed, he began to rest his head against her shoulder. As the feeling of her moving on top of him became overwhelming. She allowed it.</p><p>Moving her hands behind her, gripping onto his legs as she gyrates. Holding herself up, she found her balance and began moving faster. She began to moan around him as his dick hit that sweet spot deep inside her.</p><p>"Yes," she moans, moving circles on top of him. Pushing him all the way in, and finally letting out a loud moan. "Oh, my God. You're so fucking deep," Charlie gripped his legs as she began to bounce on him faster and harder. Closing her eyes as her orgasm already started to build up, deep inside her.</p><p>"OH, my god, Charlie!" Jensen moaned, getting lost in everything he was feeling. Not being able to touch her was adding to his build-up. He opened his eyes, looking down between them. Watching him disappear inside her.</p><p>"Charlie." he breathed her name, needing something. Anything.</p><p>Charlie ignored him and moved her hands to hold onto the couch as she could feel herself becoming weaker over him. She stopped her motions, resting for a second, and circled her hips teasingly slow.</p><p>Jensen begins to push his forehead into her shoulder. "Fuck," Jensen lets out, looking up at Charlie, meeting eyes with her again.</p><p>Their faces just inches from each other. Charlie started moving up and down on him again. Keeping up a steady rhythm. The two breathing heavily into one another. Watching each other's mouths, wanting to kiss. As Charlie begins to feel her orgasm hit her, she comes to a slower deep pace. Squeezing around him, bringing on her release.</p><p>She didn’t know if it was her taking control, or him pleading for her. When her orgasm worked her from the inside out, Charlie let out a huge gasp, never stopping her movement. She arched her back, allowing him to land deep into her as her body convulses from the earth-shattering orgasm. Squeezing her thighs around him, as it takes her over. Leaving her moaning, her eyes closed as she feels her high. Letting every wave come. The pressure and pleasure never stopping as she keeps her pace.</p><p>Jensen bucked up into her as he felt himself cumming too. "Charlie," he wines. Landing his forehead against her chin, trying to hold back.</p><p>Coming to a stop, feeling the last motions of her climax, Charlie smiles to herself. Bringing her hands to his hair, pulling it and moving his head up to look at her.</p><p>"Yes, baby?" she asked as their eyes met. Charlie looked at him and could tell he was desperate for a release. "You wanna cum? Or, you wanna fuck me till I cum again?" she asked, finally pressing her lips to give him what he wanted.</p><p>Jensen didn't answer her. Instead, he moved his hands to her waist. Immediately moving her up and down on him at a brutal rate. Jensen wanting to give her just that.</p><p>Charlie broke from the kiss. “Oh, fuck. Yes!" she screamed loudly.</p><p>Within seconds, she begins to cum around him again. Jensen quickly followed. She grabbed his face, colliding their lips, their tongues. He moaned into her mouth, cumming hard under her. Harder than he has in a long time. He began holding her tightly to him. Feeling her against him as he reached his orgasm, shooting his load inside of her.</p><p>Charlie moves against his grip, circling her hips on him. Making him ride out his orgasm longer. As Charlie had wanted, Jensen was slowly falling apart below her. He pushes his face into her chest, moaning, and jerks into uncontrollably.</p><p>Jensen just held her body to him, waiting until he was able to regularly breathe to loosen his grip around her. Kissing her lightly on her collarbone and finally looking up at her.</p><p>"Holy shit," he said between breaths. "That was fucking amazing."</p><p>Charlie lets out a small laugh on top of him. Jensen dives his face into her neck, making Charlie squirm.</p><p>"Fuck, I don't think I've cum that hard in forever."</p><p>"Glad to have been of service," Charlie said and kissed his nose.</p><p>She moved to get off his lap and stand, but Jensen pulled her back to him and laid them down on the couch.</p><p>"How did you do that?" he asked, hovering over her on the couch.</p><p>"Just knew refusing to let you touch me would wind you up. It also feels good not having control sometimes."</p><p>“Yeah, but you just switched up. You got all dominating. It was fucking hot a-shit.” Charlie laughed. “You amaze me. Any other time you are shy and blushing. Good to know what gets you out of your shell.”</p><p>Charlie laughed in his arms, “I cannot promise you this will happen again.”</p><p>After a few minutes, Charlie and Jensen got cleaned up and head into the bedroom to go to bed.</p><p>“It's close to 11,” Charlie said. Jensen hummed in acknowledgment. "Which means you almost leave tomorrow." Charlie looked up to him as he laid with his eyes closed, falling asleep.</p><p>“Technically, yes.” He said, giving her a response.</p><p>"Jay?" Charlie said.</p><p>Using the nickname others gave him. Unintentionally as it naturally just rolled off her tongue. Jensen opened his eyes to look at her.</p><p>"I know you're tired. I'm sorry," she said.</p><p>Jensen lifted his head off the bed, leaving a kiss on her forehead.</p><p>"It's okay," he said with a smile.</p><p>"Before you fall asleep and go to work in the morning…" Charlie looks away from his eyes to finish her sentence. "I don't know what's going to happen once we go back to normal. But…" She looks at him again with intent and confidence. "Thank you."</p><p>Jensen looks at her, perplexed.</p><p>"For showing me kindness and a side of existence, I long gave up on… I came to Vancouver as an obligation, and I found you. And an array of more amazing people. My life is officially changed.” Charlie smiles sweetly, thinking of her new friends. "I'm nervous that you're going to get on that plane, and I’ll get on mine, and we'll get busy, caught up and… just left behind."</p><p>Jensen was about to object, but Charlie put a finger over his lip to silence him.</p><p>"I'm not saying that’s what is going to happen." She argued. "It's second nature for me to think the worst. Usually, I'll just keep it to myself. And If that's how this goes… that's okay. I know you have a lot going on in your life right now. Regardless, I would like to think I am first and foremost your friend, and I will put your well-being before my needs. I feel like whatever happens, we'll always have these little moments."</p><p>Charlie gestures towards the two of them. She looked out the window, looking off to the distance, getting lost in memories. She takes a deep breath and sighs. "I just wanted to say thank you,” she finished, laying her head back on his chest.</p><p>Jensen started soothing her hair. He looks up to the ceiling trying to figure out what to say back.</p><p>"Can we make a promise?" </p><p>Charlie moved her head to look up at him. Jensen continues sifting his fingers through her hair. He shot a quick look at the shining diamond ring dangling from her neck. "We'll be honest with each other, just like this. You're right. After today, it'll be a struggle. But I think we'll do it. It'll have its moments. We'll eventually leave the honeymoon stage," he says, pushing his groin into her making a point. "But…" he hesitated. "I can't fathom not having you in my life going forward. I don't know what that means but..."</p><p>Charlie's eyes widened, and she suddenly felt the need to cry, but Jensen pulled her up to meet his lips, and he rolled on top of her. Both becoming overcome with the reminder they were going to be leaving each other soon. Jensen deepens the kiss, making Charlie relax and moan into it. He shifts his weight lying perfectly between her legs. Slowly circling his groin into her.</p><p>Charlie pulled out of the kiss. Moaning into his ear as she began to feel the effect of what he was doing. She begins to laugh, making Jensen stop and hover over her, looking questionably.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she said between laughs. "It's just… we barely lasted 24 hours of not touching each other, let alone an hour. How are we going to last a month?" Charlie says, still laughing.</p><p>Jensen moves his hand to pull his again, erect cock out of his boxers. Pushing her underwear aside, giving him access and thrusting slowly into her. Making him to let out a small hiss, feeling her around him again.</p><p>Charlie stops mid-laugh and lets out a deep guttural moan. This was different than the motions they had in the next room, less than an hour ago. Jensen began to thrust into her, slowly. Taking his time to feel all of her as he moves in and out.</p><p>Charlie grabs onto his forearms, letting him work his pace. Resting her head against the pillow, relaxing at the feeling of him inside of her again. <strong><em>I will never get tired of this.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen worked at his slow deep pace, planting his face over her shoulder, smelling her hair. As he thrusts into her, he feels her squeezing around him, and she begins to moan into his ear. The sounds intensify the feelings building up in him. He kept his pace but began thrusting into her harder, causing Charlie to wrap her legs high up to his waist, letting him hit deeper.</p><p>Charlie began to moan louder as the build-up in her began to intensify. Jensen moans, moving his lips to hers and diving his tongue into her mouth. Tasting her, adding to the sensations.</p><p>No matter how many times he had her, it will never be enough. Charlie moves her arms around his shoulders, holding him to her as she begins to feel herself cum for the third time tonight.</p><p>Jensen moans harshly into her mouth as he begins to feel his release coming too. He pulled out of the kiss, moving his head back to her shoulder. Biting down, sucking, and moaning as he worked himself to his release.</p><p>Charlie's body went rigid under him as her orgasm worked through her. Jensen still slowly and deeply thrust into her as she came. He moves one of his hands to work circles on her clit. Making Charlie moan his name, and making Jensen cum. Reaching his orgasm, pumping into her a few more times before cumming inside her for the second time tonight. Landing his final thrust and coming to a stop, he leaves a deep guttural moan in her ear. Adding sloppy kisses on her shoulder as he breathes. Bringing himself back down.</p><p>Charlie, finally able to think from her orgasm, pulls his face to hers. "Fuck, I'm gonna miss that," she said after she pulls from his lips. Moving to kiss his neck as he breathes heavily on top of her.</p><p>Jensen pulled out and rested his body on top of her, spent for the night.</p><p>"You've officially ruined me for other men," Charlie lets out.</p><p>Jensen laughs, moving his head to land a kiss on the side of her neck, biting down, causing her to whine.</p><p>She smacked his back. "Hey! That was a fucking compliment!"</p><p>Jensen laughs. He goes to kiss the spot he bit, then starts sucking down on it.</p><p>Charlie squirms under him. "No. No, no." She laughs. "No marks!"</p><p>Jensen just locked himself down on her, continuing to leave a hickey on her neck. He took her wrists, pinning them over her head as she tries to pull him off of her.</p><p>When he goes to start another spot, she yells, "Jensen. It's not fair. I can't do this to you. I can’t send you home with hickies!"</p><p>He just sucks and laughs into her skin. When he finally pulls away, satisfied with himself, he lands one more kiss on her lips before rolling off her and onto the bed.</p><p>Charlie already started to feel the aftermath, "Think my vagina might be grateful for the break. In hindsight,” She laughed.</p><p>"Oh, really!?" Jensen went forward, pushing her back to the bed, pinning her to it.</p><p>He hovered over her. He was reminded of her beauty as she looked up at him with her hair cascading around her head, smiling, and flushed. He just looked at her for a second. Taking in her features, knowing he will not be seeing them for a while. Charlie just looks up at him, suspicious of what he was thinking.</p><p>“What?” she asked, smiling and curious.</p><p>"Just realizing how lucky I am." He moves his hand to cup her cheek. "You're fucking amazing, and I get to have you,” he says, landing another peck, before letting her go. Falling back on to the bed.</p><p>Charlie jumps off the bed and walks into the bathroom. Minutes later, she came back into the room to find Jensen sleepy and waiting for her to come back.</p><p>"Awe. He overexerted himself," she said as she walked to the bed.</p><p>Jensen heard her. He opened his eyes, narrowing them as she jumped on the bed. "You wanna go round three?" he asked.</p><p>Charlie laughed. "Nope, I'm good. Thank you, though. Good night." She said continuing to laugh.</p><p>Getting comfortable on the bed, pulling Jensen to her. She stroked his head, playing with his hair. His breathing softly blowing against her neck as his face laid on her shoulder. Within minutes she felt him breathing slower, and he was fast asleep.</p><p>She sat in the bed looking out at the window, thinking about all that has transpired over the past two weeks. She loved the intimate power play between them tonight. As well as the slight playful competitiveness that both had with one another. She didn’t know where this relationship was going to go, but she knew it was going to be fun.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I know I’m the writer here. But the “You wanna go a third round?”, had me laughing out loud when I read through it. Love their batter.<br/>Hope everyone found it funny as well.<br/>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>💗<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Somethin’ Else Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wednesday August 28, 2019 7:27 AM- Vancouver, Canada</p><p> </p><p>-RING, RING, RING-</p><p>Charlie was ripped out of her oddly pleasant dream. Awoken from the sound of her phone going off.  She shot up from the bed looking around, feeling sad she was abruptly brought out of her slumber. She realized she was in Jensen's bed and moved towards the sound of her phone ringing, grabbing it. She looked to find it was Jensen face-timing her. </p><p>She presses the answer button, “This better be worth it. I was having an awesome dream, Ackles," she let out, jokingly as she laid back on the bed. </p><p>Jensen laughed at her, smiling wide into the screen. Making her wake up a little more.</p><p>Charlie smiled back, “I take that back. Hi.” She softly chuckled. “Good Morning.”</p><p>“Good Morning. This is your 7:30 AM wake up call.”</p><p>“Mmm. Thank you.” Charlie hums back, stretching on the bed out of view from Jensen and making noises as her body refreshed for the day.</p><p>She laid on her side of the bed, moving her hair out of her face. Putting the phone against a pillow. When he got quiet, Charlie finally put all of her attention on the screen, finding Jensen intently watching her. He was licking his lips, making it very obvious where his thoughts were. </p><p>“I can only assume you are alone,” Charlie asked, smiling at the screen.</p><p>“What gave that away?” he said with a laugh. </p><p>“Let’s just say your thoughts are very clearly written on your face,” she giggled.</p><p>“Just replaying scenes in my head.” </p><p>Charlie chuckled. “Work scenes or memories?”</p><p>“Memories. Definitely,” he said with a huge smile.</p><p>Charlie rolled her eyes at him. “You’re insatiable,” she said, shaking her head and looking out the window. “I love it. How’s your day going?” </p><p>“Good, actually. Breezing through the day. Just in my trailer between scenes. We might get out early if we’re lucky. You on for coming to the studio? Possibly a night on the town? Misha and Olivia wanted to head out on the town with some of the cast. Some of them are not coming back after Labor Day. But Olivia mentioned Maggie’s heading this way later. She’s meeting a few producers?” Jensen said with a question, moving around his trailer.</p><p>Charlie smiled with pride. “Yup. my little Margaret is moving up in the big world. She's probably meeting with some reps. She has an exec meeting with Amblin Production next month. I am so excited," she said, jumping up off the bed and walking to the bathroom. <em><strong>Well, kind of excited. Also, nervous.</strong></em></p><p>“That’s awesome. I’ve never worked with Amblin personally. I have met a few execs over the years with auditions and other things. We use the same studios, I believe. I’ve heard great things. Definitely need to go out and celebrate.”</p><p>“Yes! And yes, for tonight. Mags tried explaining it all to me, but it was too much and just went over my head. I get the whole chain of command when it comes to movie production but trying to follow the names and titles... nope.” </p><p>Jensen laughed as he shook his head. Charlie laid the phone on the counter and started moving around the bathroom, getting ready for a shower.</p><p> “But yeah. I can try and head there later. I need to get some meetings out of the way with the team. Is Olivia or Misha there?”</p><p>“Yeah, they’re here.”</p><p>“Cool, that works. I’ll need to use your trailer space again.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to be filming in and out. I have a couple meetings myself. We have to meet with some of the producers before we head out for the weekend. Planning for the rest of the season. You can come whenever, should be done by five.”</p><p>Charlie started the shower and turned to the phone. “Okay, I can head there around eleven maybe, noon. Let me just get in the shower and get some stuff out of the way.”</p><p>She began to undress, Jensen still on the phone, not really caring if he was looking.</p><p>Jensen hung up, letting Charlie shower. Charlie got dressed wanting to feel comfortable today. She wore a pair of light denim skinny jeans, a Black Flag band t-shirt, and a grey blazer. She had to make sure to cover the bruises on her neck. Finishing the look with her converse chucks and a ponytail. </p><p>Between her meetings and conference calls, she put Supernatural on in the background as she worked. Keeping herself busy, Charlie didn’t feel the need to give her all anymore. Her days were dragging. Except for Misha’s project, she lost the urge to make sure everything was working perfectly. She felt like she was doing the bare minimum. Actually, she knew she was. She made sure to do the things necessary for her team. All the extra details and tasks she usually did, she couldn’t bring herself to care anymore. </p><p>Charlie mentally checked out of her job after Monday, and she didn’t know how to feel about that. So, she just went along with what came. She split herself between her computer and the TV screen, while also watching the clock. Around 10AM, Jensen texted her, letting her know he sent a car to pick her up at 10:30. </p><p>Charlie had gotten off the phone with someone for work when she heard the doorbell ring. </p><p>She quickly ran to open it, “Hey, Cliff. Just give me one second.” </p><p>Cliff nodded in acknowledgment and stood in Jensen’s kitchen, waiting. Charlie grabbed her purse, and they were out the door. While driving, Charlie called Maggie. She was at the studio and would find Charlie later on after she got some calls out of the way. <em><strong>Jesus, she wasn't even hired or on a picture yet, and she was already busy</strong></em><em><strong>.</strong></em></p><p><em>Getting to the studio around 11,</em>Cliff dropped her stuff off at Jensen's trailer and escorted Charlie to the set where Jensen was. She felt weird walking back into the halls of the Supernatural set. After everything that has happened, especially watching Supernatural since meeting the boys.</p><p>They walked into a grand building, bigger than the one she was taken to before. The ceilings were very high up, and the layout was expansive. The layout was in subdivided sections all throughout. The walls only went halfway up maybe 16 feet, leaving room for ladders, platforms, high up balconies, wires, speakers, and more, all along with the ceiling. It was an insane view and Charlie was fascinated. <em><strong>Guess this is what Maggie will be seeing in a few months. </strong></em></p><p>As she walked, Charlie wondered how many fake homes and bedrooms were in this place. How many scenes and moments are etched into the floors and walls of this makeshift universe. Cliff took her over to what looked like a sorcerer’s secret lair with books and a giant globe. She was so enamored by the size and detail of the fake hideout she didn’t notice the crew and cast members that were standing around. She nodded and waved as she walked, some people looking familiar, others not so much. They were all friendly and smiling back. Making Charlie feel more comfortable.</p><p>Cliff escorted her through fake halls and steps, farther from the commotion. She began to step lighter, as not to make any loud noise. Charlie began to hear Misha and Jared over a speaker, talking. Sounding like they were in character, then Jensen chimes in. <strong><em>Oh my god, they’re playing Sam and Dean!</em></strong> Charlie attempts to contain her excitement.</p><p>They passed another elaborate room. Right before they are about to turn the corner, getting closer to the sound stage, Cliff stopped walking. Charlie stops as he turns to her, holding a finger up and pressing it to his mouth. Telling her to keep quiet.</p><p>“I think he’s in a shot, give me a minute,” Cliff said and walked out of sight. </p><p>Charlie looked around, not moving, scared she would fuck something up. All she needed was to make a noise and have it be on camera somehow. She turned her body from right to left checking out the little setup. She looked up at the railings and balconies and tried to read the fake books on the fake walls. This was a different level of art and she loved it.</p><p>Sure, she had a photography, filmmaker, and artist best friend. She had some idea of this life. Especially when some of her other friends were indie film artists as well. But Charlie never understood or thought to look at films and shows as more than entertainment. Never being able to see it from this point of view. She knew there were art aspects, but to her, it was always actors, egos, and money. Hollywood.</p><p>Maggie got her more into indie films, which she enjoyed. They were geared towards low budget story telling. More relevant and deep, or educational. They were more about the content, the story and writing. Collaboration and the message. Rather than box office hits, fashion or stardom.</p><p>Charlie loved movies of course. Like books. The little universes they created and the stories they told. Just not the culture that goes into making big movies, blockbusters, sitcoms and shows. Being here, meeting these people, she slowly began to realize how wrong she was. There was a subtle but complex art to this stuff. The detail and work that goes into these sets. The planning and researching that goes into setting up these little worlds. She stood there in awe, second-guessing her entire life choice to not become an artist. As she had so many times before. Not that she would be an actress or director, she was never that ambitious. But she would be able to immerse herself in this level of creation and brilliance. Charlie suddenly became slightly jealous of her best friend.</p><p>“Okay, you're cool. You can come,” Cliff said, pulling Charlie out of her thoughts.</p><p>She walked towards him, turning the corner carefully, paranoid there would be a camera taping her. She sees Jensen, Jared, Misha, Alex, and a few other cast members standing listening to the person Charlie assumed was the director. He spoke with his hands and tried to express images to everyone listening. Charlie lightly walked, following Cliff, catching Jared’s attention. He was also the tallest guy in the room, so he saw her immediately. He nodded at her, throwing his hand in the air saying hello, then turned his attention back to the director. </p><p>Jensen saw Jared and looked in his direction absentmindedly. He did a double take, realizing it was Charlie, and smiled. He gave her a nod and looked away, listening to Bob as he spoke. </p><p>Cliff brought Charlie to Jensen’s set chair. “He’s just listening to Singer. He should be done soon,” Cliff said, giving her a nod.</p><p>“Thank you” she says as he gives her a smile.</p><p>“Gotta head back. You gonna be okay? You can sit, and there are snacks over there.” He points to the food display on the other side of the room.</p><p>“Nope, I’m okay. Thank you, Cliff.” </p><p>He nods again before turning and walking away. He said a few words to a couple set directors and walked out the same way they came in. </p><p>Charlie looked back over at the boys listening to ‘Bob’ and felt awkwardly in place. She walked over to one of the guys standing with headphones, tapping him on his shoulder. He turned in the direction of the tap and immediately straightened his posture, fixing his hat at the sight of Charlie.</p><p>“Hi, sorry. Am I interrupting something?” she asked, pointing towards the headphone on his head.</p><p>“Na-” he clears his throat. “No,” the guy said, looking her up and down.</p><p>Charlie just smiles at him.</p><p>“Everything okay?” he asked, smitten. </p><p>“Good. Yeah. Sorry to bother. I’m Charlie,” She lends out a hand to shake. He takes it firmly. </p><p>“Lucas.” He looks around, wondering where she came from. “And you’re fine.”</p><p>Charlie chuckles. “I’m here with Jensen.” </p><p>Lucas looks over at Jensen, and Charlie follows his gaze. He nods in understanding. “Ahh. Right. Charlotte. Sorry.” </p><p>“No worries.”</p><p>As they stood there talking, Jensen turned to look for Charlie to make sure she was okay. He finds her talking to Lucas, one of the PA’s. The view of them both looking at each other and smiling made Jensen feel uneasy. He shook off the feeling and turned his attention back to Bob.</p><p>“So uh, what’s going on over there? Is he like describing a scene or something?” Charlie asked, pointing her chin towards Bob, still talking. </p><p>“Yeah, set direction and camera angles.” </p><p>Charlie nods. “Cool!” she says and hears voices coming from his headphones.</p><p>“Copy that. On it," Lucas said into the microphone. “Sorry, duty calls.” He points towards the group dispersing and walks away from Charlie in a rush.</p><p>Jensen was still standing, listening to Bob. He looks over to Charlie again as Alex heads in her direction. She walks back over to Jensen’s set chair, sitting down. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, calling Maggie with no answer. Charlie just hung up before the voicemail beeped. Quickly sending Maggie a text, letting her know she was at the studio.</p><p>Staying busy, she went into her phone, checking email and responding to one. While she was fixed to her screen, Alex came over to his chair, next to her. He sits down checking his phone.</p><p>“Hi. Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude. Needed to send an email or I would have forgotten. How are you? I’m Charlie.” She extended her hand.</p><p>“No. You’re fine. I figured. That’s why I didn’t interrupt. Hey. I'm Alex. Heard a lot about you. Nice to finally meet you.”</p><p>“Likewise. So, how’s it going?” she pointed to the setup.</p><p>“Good, just moving into the next scene.” He turned to look at her again. “You watch the show?” </p><p>Charlie bit her lip, reluctant to answer. “I’m towards the end of season 2. I started last week, soooo kinda.” She laughs.</p><p>“Hey, at least you're watching it.” He chuckles, “It’s not for everyone.”</p><p>“I mean given how long it’s been out... it's for everyone,” she said, and they both laughed. “When the show came out, I was like 19 or 20, in college. All my girlfriends were obsessed with it. Along with, like Vampire Diaries and Chad Christian Murray or whatever.” Charlie rolls her eyes in exaggeration. </p><p>Alex laughs some more, knowing what she was talking about, nodding his head.</p><p>“I figured I would watch it eventually, you know when it ended,” Charlie added, throwing her hands in the air. "Just never ended."</p><p>“Oh, I get you. I was a little younger, but I remember it. Started watching a few seasons in.”</p><p>“I’ve always been more of a book nerd. Never watched a lot of shows anyway," Charlie says as she sees Jared walking towards her. Jensen slowly following behind, watching her as she spoke to Alex.</p><p>Charlie got up to embrace Jared, knowing her favorite hug was coming. He walked to her in two big, tall steps, taking Charlie in. She felt so protected and tender against him. </p><p>“Jared! I love your hugs. They literally complete me.” </p><p>Jared’s laugh reverberated through their bodies as he still held her. When he goes to pull away, he lands a light peck on her cheek. “Sorry, I know I told you I was going to reach out about the campaign and everything. I’ve just been everywhere. Between the show ending and the baby.”</p><p>“Oh, I know. I heard, congrats,” Charlie says with affection, and Jared pats her arm as a gesture. </p><p>“Thank you.Yeah, we're excited. Number three. Phew. Just found out it a girl. Gen’s ecstatic."</p><p>“Awe. Another little Padalecki," Charlie says, pouting her lips out, knowing she was going to be adorable. Doing that typical female reaction to a baby. <em><strong>I don't care. I have ovaries. Comes with the territory. </strong></em>Charlie follows both Jared and Gen on Instagram now. Their boys are gorgeous, and his wife is too.</p><p>"Hope Gen's doing well?" </p><p>“She’s good. She loves being pregnant. I’m the mess,” Jared said with a nervous laugh. </p><p>Jensen walks up to them and wraps his arms around Charlie’s waist. Landing a kiss on her temple for a second before standing behind her. Keeping her in his hold as he checks his phone.</p><p>She turns her head to him. “Hi.” He winks at her.</p><p>Charlie looks back at Jared, “But, yeah, dude. Just let us know what you’re thinking, whenever. My graphic designer will hook you up. She's waiting for your call or email. Doesn’t have to be a pitch. You can give her a few topics and she’ll start you off. I told her you’re pretty busy.” </p><p>Jared nodded. "That's a bit of a relief. Thanks," he said, smiling wide. Feeling a little bit better. Misha finally steps up to them, greeting Jared with a nod.</p><p>“Charlotte,” Misha says winking and moves in to hug her. </p><p>“You really vary with my name, don’t you? You could just call me Charlie,” she said as she moved to pat his cheek with hers. “I always feel like Charlotte sounds pretentious.”</p><p>“Never,” Misha mutters with a face walking over to his chair.</p><p>“Okay, Dmitri,” Jensen says, chiming in while standing behind Charlie on his phone. Charlie looked at Jensen, confused. “His name is Dmitri; his nickname is Misha.”</p><p>“Ohhh, Dmitri? Hmm. Good to know," Charlie retorts.</p><p>“Don’t listen to him. He’s fatigued. His mind isn’t functioning at full capacity,” Misha replies. </p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen, and Jensen looked at Charlie. They both had a silent conversation. <strong><em>Really?</em></strong> Jensen just shrugs with a cocky smile, neither confirming nor denying what Charlie was thinking.</p><p>“Awesome,” Charlie says, stepping back to sit on his chair as the three men stood and began to have their own conversation.</p><p>“So, you hangin’ on set for the rest of the day?” Alex asked as Charlie sat back on the seat, crossing her legs, relaxing, and looking around. </p><p>“Nah. Jensen brought me here, and I’m waiting for Maggie.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Maggie. I’ve met her a couple times. I think I saw her a little while ago. She left with Olivia; I believe.” <em><strong>Hmm.</strong></em></p><p>Charlie turned her head towards the group of tall men standing next to them. “Misha?”</p><p>“Yeah?” he said as he leaned forward past Jensen’s shoulders to hear what she had to say. “What’s up?”</p><p>“You wouldn’t happen to know where Margaret is? Would you?”</p><p>“I think she is in the main office, talking to someone from the studio. She didn't say much to me.”</p><p>“Right...Okay. I’m onto you.” </p><p>Misha walks over laughing. “Hey, I’m still waiting for her to confirm tonight's plans.”</p><p>“Which are?” Charlie asks.</p><p>“Olivia wanted to go out tonight for a little. To celebrate Maggie’s birthday and her getting the offer, amongst other things. We're all heading home after tonight until Tuesday because of Labor Day,” Misha said as Jared nods his head. </p><p>Charlie looks at Jensen. He was watching her. "Ah. Right,” she says.</p><p><strong><em>I know. He’s leaving me. </em></strong>She looks at Jared. “Are you going with them, Jared?”</p><p>“Yeah, Ackles and I fly back to Austin in the morning. I figured I’d let loose with you guys. Try to savor all this while I can.”</p><p>Charlie nods, turning to Alex, "You?"</p><p>"Yup," Alex responds nonchalantly. Charlie enjoyed his laid-back personality. </p><p>“Cool. Obviously, I’m down. Don’t really think I have a choice in the matter though. Seeing as though I’m the one that introduced you, kinda, to the birthday girl. Maggie wouldn’t let me miss it. Even if I wanted.”</p><p>“Kinda?” Jared asked.</p><p>“Yeah. Maggie introduces herself.” Charlie said, resolute.<br/>
Everyone laughed, mutually agreeing on that. Maggie was the complete opposite of Charlie. An extrovert, social butterfly, who doesn’t hold her tongue. She was fearless and boisterous. With swag and confidence in a way, that Charlie could only admire. The two bumped heads, from time to time, only because their outlooks on life were a bit different. However, they were very close, having been friends since childhood. They were the perfect balance to one another. Being each other’s biggest supporter, and biggest fan.</p><p>Jensen finally finished sending the email he had been working on. He intertwined his fingers with Charlie’s. Effectively letting her know it was time to go. He moved to whisper into her ear, “We were going to head to my trailer before we met with the producers,” he said.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“We’re going to meet you guys there,” Jensen says to Jared and Misha. They both nodded and kept talking to Alex.</p><p>Charlie waves bye as Jensen lightly pulls at her hand like there was an urgency.</p><p>When they got to his trailer, Charlie barely had a second to speak before Jensen crashed his lips to hers, pushing her into the kitchen counter.</p><p>“This is going to be hard,” he said when he pulls away to breathe. </p><p>“Umm, can you be more specific?”</p><p>“Being away from you and knowing you’ll be out there," he pecks her lips. “Talking to other guys. Anyone ever tell you, you're a flirt?" he finished, diving his tongue into her mouth. </p><p>She moans in objection and pushes him away. She looks at him, confused and slightly nervous, “What?”</p><p>Jensen tries to pull her back to him.</p><p> “No,” she lets out, looking at him still taken back.</p><p>“It doesn't bother me. I mean, I definitely got jealous, but I’m not-” he sighed and dropped his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Charlie looks around, trying to figure out what made him think this.</p><p>“Not really the jealous type,” Jensen added. “Just with Dee….” </p><p>Charlie immediately closed her eyes as it registered. “Yeah. I get it.”</p><p>“I saw you talking to Lucas…More, I saw the way he looked at you," Jensen admits.</p><p>She pushes herself up on the counter, sitting and letting Jensen stand between her legs. Finally, eye level with him, she looks him over, processing what he said. </p><p>“I can't blame him, and all I could think was… you’ll be leaving me soon,” Jensen said as he watched her, biting his lip.</p><p>He pressed his lips to hers, pushing himself closer, desperately needing her. Charlie let him take her as she could feel the desperation in his kiss, masked as desire. </p><p>Charlie had to remember Jensen was healing too. His heart was broken, and he was conflicted. He didn't talk about it, but she knew. She sensed it. The person he loved and devoted himself to for 12 years cheated on him. It can’t be easy for him to move on and let Charlie in. Let alone seeing Charlie talk to other guys. She wanted him to talk about it, but she knew he would open up in his own way. He needed time, and she was giving it to him. </p><p>Until then, Charlie stayed transparent with him. Letting him in on who she was and where she'd been. That was her way of giving herself. <strong><em>Among other things.</em></strong> Showing Jensen, he could trust her. Showing him, she had nothing to hide, even if she did want to hide it. Charlie usually kept everything to herself, not wanting to let people in. Letting people in allowed room for letting people hurt her. But Jensen was different, at least that was the hope.</p><p>So, if he tells her how he feels about something, something he’s now sensitive about, Charlie can at least ignore his short-lived moment of jealousy. In this moment she let him find solace in her. Jensen pushes her back onto the counter, intensifying the kiss. He grabs her hands, pinning them over her head. Eventually, pulling back to look at her, then hovering his lips over hers, Mimicking her actions from last night. Charlie smiles at his antics, squeezing her legs tightly around his waist. </p><p>“I’m not going to tell you not to talk to men. You are your own woman, and I trust you. Fully. I know you enough to know you would never do anything like that. But…I’m probably never going to like it. Having them look at you. And that’s my own shit. That’s what I’m carrying into this relationship.” </p><p>He moves to kiss her neck, pushing her blazer and shirt to the side. Kissing the hickies he made the night before. She winces as Jensen kissed them, forgetting they were there.</p><p>Charlie looks around the trailer for a second, trying to think of what to say back. She swallows and takes a breath, sitting up.</p><p>“Am I really flirty?” </p><p> “A little."</p><p>“Welp,” she said as she laid her head on his shoulder. “Guess I’m just gonna have to be a bitch from now on.” </p><p>Jensen laughed, releasing the huge tension he was holding on to. He felt very grateful for her in that moment. He didn’t know if he would have been lucky enough to find someone like her, had she never come into his life. And he was so fucking glad she came into his life. He knew in that moment he lucked out with finding someone so silly and sensible, but also easygoing and understanding. He couldn’t help how he felt when it came to Charlie, but he needed to be honest with her at least. He cradles her face, looking over it. Memorizing all her fine lines and imperfections. The shape of her eyes and pointed little nose. The delicious plumpness of her perfect lips. Even studying the light little speck of freckles on her cheeks. He wanted to savor this moment. This moment was special, he didn't want to lose it. </p><p>As Jensen holds her face, Charlie looks back at him, reading the 6 different emotions his face worked through. She didn't know what to say except, “It's okay. Really.” Her words bring him back to her, grounding him. “I can't promise I won't flirt. I think I naturally do it because I'm inherently nervous, so I overcompensate. I get why you feel what you feel. I’m not going to tell you, you're wrong. You’re kinda justified. What matters to me is that you trust me.”</p><p>“But you don't deserve this. Editing yourself for me, because of what I've been through.”</p><p>"You didn't deserve to be cheated on,” she said straight, and Jensen rested his forehead against her shoulder, feeling beat. "And, for the record, I don't see it that way. I'm not editing myself for you. You're not asking me to change who I am. If I'm doing something wrong, I want you to tell me."</p><p>Jensen lifts his head, eyeing her as she spoke.</p><p>“I don't know what it was about us. I don't know what it is that makes it impossible for us to keep our hands off each other. But I know what I felt that day. The day we met. You were a kindred spirit, lost and waiting for solace. I was the same. Except, I waited a long time for you.”</p><p>Jensen tries to follow, and Charlie smiles.</p><p>“Don’t you see? I’m scared you're going to forget about me in the mix of everything that is your life. You're scared I’m going to do the same. Except with someone else, but I know that will never happen. So, I promise you, I will go home and be my normal diffident self. I will continue to swear off men, except this time…I’ll know that you're out there, worrying about me being with other guys or thinking about me.” Charlie hovers her lips over his as a reminder of last night. Jensen moaned against her. “And I’ll get all turned on and bothered at the thought. So, just know I’ll be thinking about you, when you’re thinking about me.”</p><p>Jensen's face turns into a smile, and he rolls his eyes at her, “And I’m the insatiable one. Misha and Jared will be here soon.” </p><p>Charlie realized something, and looked at Jensen, biting the inside of her mouth, nervous to know the answer. “Do I flirt with Jared and Misha?”</p><p>Jensen smiled at her. “Jared… no. At least not that I’ve noticed. Kinda get more of a big brother vibe, if anything. Misha… that’s different.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I don’t see you and Misha together that often. But if I had to gather based on the tone of your conversations when I listen in and given how often you guys talk. Especially the things he relays to me… yes.”</p><p>Charlie’s face fell in horror. <strong><em>Oh my god. I flirt with Misha? </em></strong></p><p>Jensen sees her reaction, “Hey, it’s okay. Misha’s naturally a flirt too.” <strong><em>True.</em></strong> “It’s Misha. He’s harmless.”</p><p>“Jensen, I don’t want to flirt with anyone. Let alone Misha!”</p><p>He smiles at her; she was evidently upset, “You know you’re adorable and sexy. Especially when you’re confused.”</p><p>“What is it, with you too?”</p><p>“Who? Me and Misha?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, with a small smirk.</p><p><strong><em>Don’t play dumb.</em></strong> Charlie just watched his eyes, trying to read something in them. She wasn’t going to get into the conversation right now. “You know, when things die down and we get a chance, we are having a very in-depth conversation about Dmitri.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Somethin’ Else Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jensen waited for Jared and Misha to show up. He laid back on his recliner, reading over a script. Charlie was still waiting for Maggie to let her know she is at the studio. They quietly kept to themselves, knowing the boys would walk through the door at any moment.</p><p>Following the insightful conversation with Jensen, Charlie was a bit nervous about seeing Misha. <strong><em>Thanks, Jensen. Now I’m going to be weird about it. Calm down, Charlie. You are not flirting with Misha.</em></strong></p><p>Shaking off the embarrassing thought, she took the opportunity to go back into her social media. Finally reading the full post Misha put up yesterday. He had mentioned Charlie in his post. Letting everyone know about the event being planned, and she was helping Random Acts.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p> <strong>@misha</strong> <em>So, I might be jumping the gun on this. Sorry, @charliemaeson.  I am SUPER excited to announce </em></p>
  <p>
    <em>#SuperActsFinaleFestival (SAFF)!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>With the final season of Supernatural airing soon, the gang and I wanted to do one big hurrah. Celebrating a show that has cultivated a family, fandom, and so much more! The cast &amp; crew of #SPN will be joining teams with @randomactsorg to celebrate the 10th anniversary of #RandomActs and bring homage to a show that has lasted 15 years!! In the coming weeks, we will be looking to you guys &amp; the #SPNFamily to volunteer, donate, and/or promote these festivals. We need your help! I have been working closely with my good friend @charliemaeson to plan this whole thing out! What are some things important to you? Any organizations or non-profits close to your heart? Let us know.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>While you’re add it, give her a follow. Always good to have some down to earth and influential people on your newsfeed. She promotes a lot of good causes. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Stay tuned for more information!</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Charlie copied the link to share it on her page and then left a comment on Misha’s post.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>@charliemaeson</strong> comment: <em>@misha Super excited to help out. This family is awesome. ♥️</em></p>
</blockquote><p>She reposted the video and adding her own caption:</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong> @charliemaeson</strong> <em>Happy to be a part of something so powerful. Can’t wait for January!</em></p>
  <p>
    <em>-x Charlie</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>She sent the post then went to take a final look at her emails, seeing a couple from Richard. She debated on whether or not to read the emails, but she read them anyway.</p><p>One of the emails was sent to the whole company from Richard, the board, and HR. It informed everyone of all the official changes happening in the company, and the dates those changes would take effect. That email followed with another directly from Richard to Charlie. He wanted to have a face-to-face meeting, with the board and HR, to discuss the possibility of advancement. She was anxious to respond but agreed to a meeting for Friday. Wanting to get it out of the way and having the weekend to clear her head.  </p><p>When she heard a knock at Jensen's door, she looked at him as he yelled, “Come in.”</p><p>Both Jared and Misha walked into the trailer like it was their own. Comfortably throwing their stuff on the counter. Jared, plopping down onto the other recliner across from Jensen, reading his script. Misha sat on a stool next to Charlie.</p><p>She looked at Misha with a suspecting face. "You know, just a tiny bit of heads up would have sufficed, Misha. I can’t even check my accounts without having an anxiety attack.”</p><p>Jensen and Jared look up from their scripts and over at Charlie.</p><p>Misha began to smile and then lets out a small laugh. "Sorry, love. After I got off the phone with you guys and they gave me the video. I got excited. Had to share."</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>She looked at him, seeing Jensen watching her in her peripheral vision. Misha looked knowingly at her, not backing down. The two had a silent conversation. Smiling wide at each other. Charlie shakes her head.<strong><em> These fucking men.</em></strong></p><p>Jensen cleared his throat, and both Charlie and Misha looked at him. He was a little taken back by the severity of their stare. Causing him to look away and at Jared.</p><p>“Am I missing something?” Jared asked.</p><p>“Yes. And no,” Misha replied, looking at Jensen.</p><p>Jensen and Charlie both shared a look as well. She gives him a slight roll of her eyes. Jared was about to ask something, but Charlie's phone begins to ring.</p><p>"Oh, look at that. Maggie's here. Bye, guys."</p><p>Taking advantage of Maggie’s perfect timing, jumping down off the stool. She wasn’t having an in-depth and awkward conversation, in a trailer, with a bunch of really tall, good looking dudes. Walking over to Jensen as he watches her closely and leaving a quick peck on his lips.</p><p>"Jared. Misha. I'll see you, fellas, later. Everyone, good luck in your meeting," Charlie said, as she grabbed her purse and began walking out. Shooting one final look in Jensen's direction before disappearing out the door.</p><p>Jared just watched Jensen for a few awkward seconds.</p><p>“What?” Jensen asked.</p><p>Jared looked over at Misha then back at him before saying something. "We're going to talk about this. Right?"</p><p>Jensen lets out a sigh, not wanting to. “Not right now.”</p><p>"You're still married, Jensen.”</p><p>"I'm divorced."</p><p>"No, you're finalizing your divorce. Which could take time. Especially this shit with you and Danneel.”</p><p>"What's the problem here, Jared? I thought you were on my side with this. I thought you liked Charlie?”</p><p>"I am on your side. I adore Charlie. It's not about her. I'm just worried about you, man. Ackles, if there was anyone, we'd want for you, it's Charlie."</p><p>Jensen looks over at Misha, who was sitting silently, staying out of it.</p><p>"But?" Jensen asked, annoyed.</p><p>“Seeing you with Danneel over the weekend, you were cold with her. It just wasn’t you.”</p><p>“I was there for my daughter. She cheated on me, Jared. Repeatedly. Everything with me, her, and Misha, and it wasn’t fucking enough. Danneel has repeatedly kept me from my daughter. My home. No shit, I'm cold with her. I took JJ for three fucking days. And even though it was stupid, I had every right considering. And she has spent the past 8 months stringing me along because of that one fucking mistake.”</p><p>"I know, and I am sorry. I'm not saying you’re wrong. But Jensen… you never dealt with it. You never processed it. You’ve just kept it to yourself. Just talk to us. Or someone about it. Shit, talk to Charlie. Before you get caught up in another relationship, handle the one you had with Danneel.”</p><p>Jensen looks away at the door, trying to calm himself. He knew Jared was worried about him. And he knew, to an extent, he was right. But Jensen didn't know how to feel about everything. He was honestly emotionally stunted when it came to his soon to be ex-wife. He looked at Misha again, knowing he didn’t completely share Jared’s point of view.</p><p>“Listen.” Jared begins. "I’m not saying stop what’s going on, just be logical. You're happy, and of course, that's what I want. We care about you, man. And, clearly, Charlie cares about you too. We know it’s been hard, and maybe we don’t know enough to say anything at all. But I’m your friend, your brother, and I’m going to say something. That’s my responsibility. Whether you want to hear it or not.  You’re fallin’, dude. You’re fallin’ hard.”</p><p>"Were not even there yet,” Jensen said, looking back at Jared. But he, in his heart, he knew that was a lie.</p><p>"Oh, come on. The way you are with one another. The way you move around one another. This isn’t some romantic fling. What happens after tomorrow? You’re heading home. Charlie’s heading back to her life. There is clearly something there with you guys. But if you just hold that shit in, you’re going to doom whatever this is from the beginning.”</p><p>Misha signs, feeling like he needed to say something. “We were stuck, Jensen. We’ve watched you be disconsolate… and that’s honestly been difficult,” Misha says and then looks at Jared for support. “Then, you met Charlie. Believe me, when I say no one saw her coming. I get it, dude. Trust me. And now, we're seeing our old Jensen again. Even the one before the trying and separation." Misha takes a breath, thinking about how to word what he needed to say.  "I’ve known you for a long time now. I've learned to accept your stoic way of handling things. But when Danneel-" Jensen flared his nostrils, clearly not wanting to bring her up. “You were broken. And we get it. You know I get it. Even with all the shit I’ve been through with Vicky. Jared and Genn’s upside downs.” Jared nods as Misha speaks. “You found someone I… we can honestly respect and love. You weren’t the only person who lost her that night. And I don’t think Jared’s saying your choices or decisions are questionable.”</p><p>"Then what are you saying?!"</p><p>"That we’re here, man. Talk to us. Take this separation away from Charlie, since it’s only the beginning, and try to settle things with Danneel.”</p><p>"She’s using my daughter as a pawn, Jared. There's no settling things with Dee right now. The ball is in her court. I didn’t do anything wrong, yet I lost everything. What more can I do? I stepped back and let her take the rain. I stopped resisting and arguing. I'm playing the peace. For my daughter. Sure, I'm cold to her right now. I don't know how else to be. I don't know what Charlie and I have, but I feel good. Can't I just have that?"</p><p>"Of course, you can. But are you honestly telling me you've been front with Charlie? About everything?" Jared asked.</p><p>“Why? Everything, what? She knows I have a kid. She knows I’m in the middle of a divorce. She knows my lifestyle. There’s nothing else she needs to know.”</p><p>"Does she know about Misha? Is that what that little silent, squabble, was about?"</p><p>Jensen stays silent.</p><p>“She’s piecing it together. Isn’t she?” Jared asked.</p><p>“She doesn’t need to know that.”</p><p>"Actually, she kinda does,” Misha replied. “Listen, Jensen. You know how I feel about Charlie. I’ve kept my peace when it came to Danneel. I’ve kept my mouth shut when it came to Charlie knowing everything. But she’s not dumb. She’s going to pick up on it. I think she already is. And eventually, she’s going to have to know the details of everything that happened. Especially if you plan on taking this relationship seriously. She may not have been a participant, but if you guys choose to move forward, she’s going to have to know this. It’s not something you simply quiet away. You have to at least be honest with her.”</p><p>"Why are you saying this now that Jared is here?" Jensen asked Misha, annoyed.</p><p>"I have said this. Just less confrontational. It hasn't really settled. You won't listen."</p><p>"So, I'm saying it," Jared interjects. "Because I'm not a part of this. I'm a bystander looking in. I mean, what are you going to do, man? Hide that part of yourself?”</p><p>"I'm going to tell her." Jensen raised his voice. "Okay?" he said, looking in Misha's direction.</p><p>Charlie finds Maggie and Olivia on-set hanging out with Alex, Richard Speight, and a few others. She was glad to find Maggie blended so well with everyone on the SPN set. Richard was filming the current scene as they move into the next episode. Which he was directing. He was apparently taking Maggie under his wing. Showing her pointers, set directions, settings, angles, and a bunch of other things that went over Charlie’s head. She stood around, watching the scene play out. Not at all knowing the context of what was going on but enjoying everything. Watching fascinated and giddy. </p><p>Olivia had disappeared a little after Charlie got there. Off doing some task for Misha. Coming back to the set, she saw Charlie standing around alone, watching everyone and everything in excitement.</p><p>Olivia walked over. “Hey,” she said, from behind her. Charlie turns and smiles, pulling Olivia into a tight hug.</p><p>The two spoke a few times at Misha's house and the bar, but Olivia and Charlie never really spoke after she and Maggie began to hook up.</p><p>“Hi. How are you?" Charlie says, being cheery, bumping Olivia’s arm playfully.</p><p>"Good, I know I've been all over the place, and then me and Maggie, hanging out. Feel like we haven't spoken."</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ve been lost in the sweep of it all too. You’re making my girl happy; you don’t have to apologize for that.”</p><p>Olivia smiled back. “I think it’s cool how close you two are. She has a lot of respect for you.”</p><p>Charlie nods in agreement. “Codependence at its finest, really.” Charlie laughs and then gets serious. “Yeah, she drives me insane.” Then looks at Olivia with a pointing glare to add dramatics. “Like a lot. She's a fireball, that one. But she’s always been there for me. She was with me through some pretty rough times. After a while, she’s kinda been the only consistent thing in my life.”</p><p>Olivia was looking at her with an empathetic face. Charlie looked down, seeing the face everyone gives her. She never minded the conversation, but she hated that face. “Guess she told you?”</p><p>“Yeah. And I know it’s been a long time, but…that’s a hard thing to have to go through. I’m sorry you had to.”</p><p>“You live, and you love. Right?" Charlie says, trying to be passive.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. She was just telling me-”</p><p>"How we're friends and why we live together."</p><p>Olivia nodded, and Charlie smiled back to reassure her. "Please. You don't have to apologize. I am very aware of her impulsivity.” She laughs, and Olivia follows. "You might as well get used to it.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m getting that.”</p><p>"She means well. Truly. It's something that drives me insane from time to time. Only because I'm the opposite. But I totally respect her for it. All the things I could never be. You know?"</p><p>“So, you’ve been friends since childhood?”</p><p>"Kinda. She lived in AZ when we were kids. Her mom was my babysitter. If you love Maggie, you'll love her mother." She laughed. "When we were young, they moved away for some time. Suffice it to say, we grew apart. But they came back after her dad died. To be closer to the rest of their family. I think I was in the eighth grade grade. She was a freshman. Going into high school, that's when we got close. I was a geeks geek. She was a theatre geek. Slash cheerleader. Slash party girl.”</p><p>“She tells me, you used to be an artist yourself?”</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "I wouldn't call myself an artist. My dad taught me music as a kid. In school, I did band, string orchestra. Eventually, I became interested in painting, drawing, which turned into illustrations and graphic design. Probably would have been an artist, but I never followed that path. Guess that’s why I do marketing. I get to have the best of both worlds. I use my education with my passion. Get to be professional but creative. I just never pursued that side of myself. Was too much of a chicken shit.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>"Just never had the confidence she does. Always doubted myself. In the end, fear of failure."</p><p>"There's never failure. Just lessons learned."</p><p>Charlie nodded absently, her mind wandering to that time in her life. "So true. I had to succeed in the way I thought my life should have gone... only to realize that isn't really success. That kind of success doesn’t bring you happiness or contentment."</p><p>“Thanks for bringing her out here.”</p><p>She looks at Olivia, reading something in her eyes. “You’re very welcome. I hope it was equally as life-changing for you."</p><p>Olivia smiles bashfully. “It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it? You two came here for a job. She tagged along by chance. And here we are.”</p><p>Charlie nodded, and the girls stood their having a conversation for a while. Getting more comfortable with one another.</p><p>A couple hours later, Charlie received a call from Jensen. They were leaving their meeting and wanted to head out to lunch. She could sense a tone in the way he spoke but blew it off. There must have been something that happened during the meeting.</p><p>Maggie and Olivia joined, all stuffing themselves into an SUV. They went to a restaurant not far from the studio. Already having a reservation with a booth. So, they were seated immediately.</p><p>Charlie could sense there was something wrong with Jensen. She wanted to say something, but it wasn’t the time or place. As they were seated, he made sure to sit her between him and Jared, interlocking their fingers under the table while keeping conversation with the group.</p><p>Charlie sat quietly listening. She looked in between the two men and lightly giggled to herself.</p><p>“What’s so funny?” Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie shook her head, blowing it off.</p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>“Sam and Dean.”</p><p>“What about them?”</p><p>"You know. I’m just sitting between Sam and Dean. Two weeks ago I had no idea who they were. Now, here I am.”</p><p>Jensen lets out a chuckle, smiling down at her. His mood slightly lifted. Jared overheard, turning his head towards them.</p><p>“What’s up?” Jared asked.</p><p>“Oh nothing, Charlie is just enjoying being wedged between the Winchester brothers.” She kicks him playfully.</p><p>“Ow.” Jensen laughs.</p><p>"So, you've been watching?" Misha chimes in to ask.</p><p>"As much as I am kind of regretting that decision at this moment… yes. I have been watching."</p><p>"How do you like it?" Misha asks.</p><p>Charlie feels their eyes on her, and she feels like she didn’t want to answer for fear of saying the wrong thing. Jensen pulls her close, wrapping his arm around her waist. He squeezes her a little, physically telling her it was okay.</p><p>“It’s good.”</p><p>“Just good?” Jared asked with a smile, clearly messing with her.</p><p>“I’m only like 2 seasons in. I can’t judge a show that’s lasted this long based on 2 seasons. But yes. I love it so far.”</p><p>"Trust me, if she's watching it, she likes it. Getting her to watch anything besides anime, documentaries, and stupid docuseries is like pulling teeth.” Maggie adds. “What episode are you on?”</p><p>"I’m going to ignore that. So untrue. I’m in the middle of the episode where Sam disappears and wakes up in a hotel room.”</p><p>"Ohhh, it’s getting good.” Jensen added.</p><p>Charlie looks over at him about to say something, but the waitress comes to take their drinks. They order their food and get back to talking.</p><p>“Which brother is your favorite?” Jensen asked with a telling smile.</p><p>"Sam," she said way too fast, and Jensen's face fell as he shacks his head playfully. Jared does a high five with Maggie.</p><p>"But Misha, when do you come in?" Charlie asked, turning to him. "I thought it was the three amigos. I am trying so hard not to google it."</p><p>“I arrive in the show a little later.”</p><p>"Season four, episode one, to be exact." Maggie says.</p><p>"Ohh, okay. So, soon. Thank god. Thought I was going to have to wait till like season 10.” Everyone began to laugh at her because she was the only person, at the table, who has no idea what happens on the show. “Shush, all of you.”</p><p>Charlie curls into Jensen's arm, and he holds her tighter. Jared bumps her arm, giving her a friendly wink. She smiled at him and laid her head against Jensen’s shoulder, relaxing.</p><p>They enjoy their meal, everyone sharing stories and joking around. It was decided everyone would meet at Misha’s house later in the night to have a more intimate gathering. Instead of going to a bar.</p><p>Getting to the studio, Jared and Misha headed back to finish their final scenes before being done for the weekend. Maggie tagged along with them. Olivia and Charlie were going to go shopping for things they needed for the last-minute party. Charlie was glad to get some alone time with her. An effort to get to know each other more. Seeing as though this was going to be her only opportunity. </p><p>Jensen didn’t have to be back on set yet. So he helped Charlie back to his trailer, so she could grab her work bag since she wasn't coming back.</p><p>"I'll meet you at your apartment. Okay?" She asked before trying to leave.</p><p>Jensen was standing in the way of the door, looking at her. He begins to move forward slowly, making Charlie retreat.</p><p>“Jensen. I have to go meet Olivia.”</p><p>He doesn’t say anything but brings his lips into a side smirk.</p><p>“Jensen.” She puts her finger up in objection. "No," she said sternly.</p><p>He gets closer to her looking her up and down, his eyes resting on her chest.</p><p>"Nice shirt, by the way." Charlie looked down, forgetting her outfit, and realized she was wearing her vintage Black Flag shirt.</p><p>When she goes to look back up, he was closer. He instantly collides their lips together. Jensen moved to push her into the kitchen counter. She squirmed against his lips, pushing him away, moving out of his hands. He grabs her waist, though, pulling her back into him and turning her around. Pushing her front towards the counter, her ass meeting with his fast-growing erection. He kisses the area between her shoulder and neck, making Charlie involuntarily moan and breathe heavy.</p><p>“Olivia is waiting for me.” She said, trying to fight back what he was doing to her.</p><p>"She said, give her fifteen minutes."</p><p>"It's been fifteen minutes."</p><p>"It's been five."</p><p>Her knees began to go weak, and she uses the counter for stability. “Jensen…Please.”    </p><p>He grinds circles into her backside, making Charlie push up against him craving the friction. </p><p>“Fuck.” She finally lets out. Knowing she couldn't resist him, no matter how much she wanted. </p><p>Charlie moves her head back towards his shoulder. Jensen picks his head up from kissing her neck, turning her head to face him and meeting her lips. He quickly began to unbuckle his jeans, pushing them down swiftly past his erection, letting it free before moving to work on Charlie’s jeans. With their lips still joined, tongue’s working together, Jensen pulls her pants and underwear past her ass.</p><p>He uses his hands to palm and squeeze her ass cheeks, moving to slide them up, under her shirt to her plump breasts. He pulls from the kiss, making Charlie's head fall forward as his hands feel her up and down. Waiting for him impatiently.</p><p>He moves a hand down to her sex, diving his fingers into her folds. Feeling how wet she was for him. He pushes her forward onto the counter, allowing him better access to her. Looking down between them, he aligns himself from behind.</p><p>Jensen pushes down on her lower back, pressing her face into the counter. Pinning her body and preventing her from moving away. Having her how he wanted her, so he could fuck her. Charlie gripped the edge, needing something to ground herself as she felt him push in. She lets out a sharp gasp as he stretches his way in. He follows with a grunt.</p><p>Jensen moans over her back as she takes all of him. She follows suit, moaning into the granite as he moved. He curls into her back, feeling weak as she gripped him. Pulling out of her, then slamming back in so hard her body slid farther up on the granite top. Making her feet dangle off the floor.</p><p>“Oh, god!” Charlie screams. Feeling him push against her cervix. Holding onto the edge now for dear life.</p><p>Jensen begins to pump into her quickly, working them both to their end. No theatrics. No playing. Just quick fast and deep thrusts.</p><p>"Oh. Oh, fuck! Fuck. Yes!” Charlie yelled into the air, feeling every movement and thrust from this position.</p><p>Jensen pulled her to him, bringing her back to his chest. He pressed his lips to her neck as he moves one of his hands to cover her mouth.</p><p>“Quiet, Meason.”</p><p>Charlie hummed and moaned against his hand. Her eyes, rolling into the back of her head<strong><em>. Oh my god, this is what heaven fucking feels like. How did I go so long without this?</em></strong>  He pushed harder and faster into her, groaning and grunting as she bites into his skin.</p><p>Charlie throws her head back against his shoulder, pushing into him. Trying to anchor herself tight against the cold surface as he fucks her. Feeling him slam into her. His hard body, smacking against her ass, adding to the sensation of him working her as he hit against her.</p><p>Jensen moved his free hand to work circles on her clit, and she began to tense up against him as the buildup intensifies. Charlie smacks her hands against the counter before moving to hold the edges with a vice grip again. She cums hard under him. Biting hard on his fingers.</p><p>She pulls at his hand over her mouth, crying loud into it, thrashing against his body. Jensen let go of her mouth and clit. Grabbing her waist and pushing her into him. Working against each thrust as he cums deep inside her.</p><p>“Uh, fuck yes.” He moans as he empties himself. “Fuck,” he said. Hot and slightly sweaty against her back as he slowly comes down and takes a breath. He pulls out of her, planting a kiss against the back of her neck as she still laid forward, breathing.</p><p>“Fuck,” she said, low to herself. Feeling how empty and sore she was after he pulled out.</p><p>After finding her bearings, Charlie turned around, making eye contact with him. Jensen looked at her through lashes, making Charlie's heart sink. She pushes him against the other side of the counter, kissing him deeply before pulling away and walking into the bathroom.</p><p>When she comes out, they don't say a word to each other. They didnt need to. They share a kiss goodbye, and Charlie leaves to meet Olivia at the car. Driving away, she looks back at the lot buildings, thinking this may be the last time she sees the Supernatural set. She thinks about all that transpired here and took a mental picture to remember this moment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. I Can’t Quit You Babe Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie dropped Olivia off at the studio. Taking some time to talk to Maggie for a little before heading towards Jensen’s apartment.</p><p>“You good If I take the rental?” Charlie asks, as she walks towards the car.</p><p>“Yeah, totally. Thanks for letting me bum it. Felt good to drive around, checking British Colombia out. You’re the best.”</p><p>“Well, at least one thing I planned for happened while we were down here. Glad you got to explore.” She laughed.</p><p>“What time you and Jensen heading over?”</p><p>“Not sure when but I’ll let you know. I have to get a couple things for work done. Didn’t get much done today.” Looking over to Maggie, beginning to smile. “How did you manage to get talked into a birthday shindig.”</p><p>“I made the mistake of telling them it was my birthday. Then getting the Amblin call just gave them the excuse to do one.” She chuckled. “They’re a very tight nit group.” </p><p>“Mags, you hate your birthday.”</p><p>“I know. I honestly don’t like the idea of being celebrated but … I’m feeling optimistic. All things considered; I’ve had a great two weeks.”</p><p>Charlie’s eyebrows raised. “Spoken to Derrick?”</p><p>“Yeah. I spoke to him. He keeps calling me, my sister, my work line. At this point, he knows I’m done. I’m expecting to deal with bullshit when I get home. We’re gonna have to get the entrance code changed too, by the way. Sorry. He’s not too happy. Then again, neither am I. So, were even.”</p><p>Charlie nodded. “Good. He’s an asshole. I’ll call the property manager and let them know.” She thought about having to return to the office at some point. The idea gave her anxiety. “Friday should be fun… Does he know about Olivia?”</p><p>“No. No one does. Just us.”</p><p>“So, you back to vagina now? Swearing off the penis for good? Did Derrick turn you off that bad?” Charlie jokes. Making a play at her fluid friend.</p><p>“Oh shush. You had your girl moments in college. Don’t make me drop some knowledge on that boyfriend of yours.”<br/>
Completely ignoring her when she described Jensen as her boyfriend, and the feeling of excitement running through her body. “First of all, that was one time.”</p><p>“Twice.”</p><p>“Same night. Secondly, If I could keep some form of curiosity in my relationship, that would be great. Third. Haven’t you already been doing that?”</p><p>“What? Fishing information to Jensen? No.”</p><p>She gives Maggie a blank stare. “I call bullshit. For example, Gabby? You bitch.”</p><p>Maggie laughs, “Oh, okay. That… in fairness, that was by mistake.”</p><p>“Mhm. Sure. I know you Margaret. You’re not dumb. You leave little easter eggs to the movie that is me. And unrelated, but I even had to tell him about Beau. That was fun.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“Reached out to Kathy for a sponsorship with the brand. RA needed funding so, figured I’d help her out too. Give her some publicity… Apparently, they’re on vacation. Which, of course, gave Beau the excuse to reach out to me.” She rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Jeez. You got a lot of shit going on at one time.”</p><p>“Tell me about it. I’m gonna head back, though. I’ll see you tonight.”</p><p>Charlie and Maggie share a quick hug and Charlie waves to Olivia and Misha talking in the distance. She called Jensen on her way there and he left the door unlocked for her.</p><p>When she got to the apartment, she finds him in his office on his computer facetiming with his daughter. She felt a twinge of sadness seeing him so happy and knowing he can’t be with her as often as he would like.</p><p>Charlie wanted to give him privacy. So, she headed into the living room, sitting on the couch to get some work done. Eventually, she called her mom back from the day before. Knowing she couldn’t avoid her forever. She went out to the balcony, as she made the call.</p><p>“Well, it’s about time. I only called you yesterday.”</p><p>“Sorry, I know. I’ve just been all over the place. Hi, mom. What’s up?”</p><p>“Hi, Cheeks. Just getting some details for the wedding since were less then 2 months out and everything keeps changing. I know I said I wouldn’t need the house anymore, but. I’m organizing the accommodations. Trixie, Bruce and the kids are going to need to stay at the house for the wedding. And I wanted to see if Margaret would be the photographer.”</p><p>Charlie took a deep breath before responding. “I want to say yes to have Trix staying at the house, but you know I’m putting it on the market soon. I can’t promise I’ll have the house by then. Weren’t you supposed to put them in a hotel?”</p><p>“Yes, but she has 4 kids and a husband, Charlie. This wedding planning is so expensive.” <strong><em>Then why are you having such an extravagant wedding?!  </em></strong>“I wanted to try and skim some fat, if possible. The house isn’t even on the market yet. If anything, you can hold it off. Right? It’s not imperative you sell right now.”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I’ll probably just call Bruce and tell him I’ll cover the fair just to avoid the headache.</em> </strong>
</p><p>“Yes, mom. I’ll see what I can do. l’ll also be there before the wedding to get the dress fitted.  And I can let you know what Maggie says about being the photographer. But is she does, you have to pay her.”</p><p>“Can I at least get a discount.”</p><p>“That’s something you have to discuss with her. It is her business. Her time. I’m sure she would but I am not going to speak for her. I’m sorry. I’ll have her each out to you. Give me a day or two. She’s been a bit busy. As have I.”</p><p>“Okay, good. When are you coming down?”</p><p>“I’ll be there next week. But I have already booked my ticket for the Thursday before. I should have plenty of time for fittings, rehearsals and everything. You’ll have me the whole week. I made sure to take off.”</p><p>Charlie stayed on the phone with her mother for a little bit longer. Helping her out with some other details as best she could. She couldn’t wait till the wedding was over. She was a little frustrated about the hotel. She knew her mother would make it an issue. But so would her sister. She knew they couldn’t afford it, and she didn’t want the arguing.</p><p>She also refused to hold back on her plans to put the house on the market. She already made plans to head to Arizona next week to start the process and meet with her realtor. She needed to secure this. Especially with Maggie possibly moving out soon and everything going to shit at work.</p><p>Sometime after, Jensen came from his office, finding Charlie working on her computer.</p><p>“Hey you.” She turned her head to him, smiling but it didn’t hit her eyes. She seemed troubled. “Sorry, I left you out here. Was just on the phone with JJ and her mom. I needed to work out details and she wanted to tell me about our plans. Supposed to be seeing my parents this weekend. She’s excited.” He chuckles with admiration towards his daughter.</p><p>“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” Her face softened. “Glad you two are getting time together. Hi.”</p><p>He moves to kiss her neck. She closed her eyes to the feeling of him pressing his lips against her sweet spot. She instantly became calm to his touch. The stress and frustrations she felt moments ago, gone. Her nerves hyperaware and waiting for more of his touch. Need flooded through her mind and body. But, just as quickly as he teased her, he pulled away.</p><p>Walking around the couch and sitting next to her, he placed his arm around her shoulder. Carefully forming his body to hers.</p><p>“How’s it going?”  </p><p>“Good, just getting stuff done,” she said, typing away and laying the side of her head on his as she looked at the screen.</p><p>“How’s everything with work going since Monday?” </p><p>Charlie stopped typing for a second, trying to ignore that nagging feeling inside herself. “It’s going.” </p><p>“Classic suppression.” He said sarcastically with a chuckle. Repeating words, she said to him once.</p><p>“It’s just too much to handle right now. With everything else, I can’t.” </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” She sighed, not typing anymore, just looking at her computer.</p><p>Jensen pulls his head from her shoulder, looking at her. He uses his free hand to close her laptop. She was about to object, opening her mouth, but he caught her objection with his lips, effectively shutting her up. Charlie brings her hand to the back of his head, pressing him more into her face as she tries to deepen the kiss. Trying to get all of him. <em>She needed all of him.</em></p><p>He sighed and moved his hand to her arm, pulling it off of him so he can pull away. “We can’t keep having sex, every time we want to avoid shit.”</p><p>“Really?” She looks at him, unhappy. “Really?”</p><p>His face softens and he moves to graze her lips with his fingers. “Charlie, I leave in the morning.” </p><p>“I am aware.” She sat almost pouting.</p><p>“And were not going to see each other for almost a month.” She nods.</p><p>Moving to grab her laptop and put it into her work bag, but Jensen holds her back. He pulls her to the couch and puts his lips to hers softly, being sweet. She doesn’t respond, so he pulls away narrowing his eyes at her.</p><p>“You’re pissed because I won’t fuck you?”</p><p>“Nope. I’m fine.” And kisses him lightly on the lips, before trying to sit up again. He held her down and she lays back with a defeated sigh.</p><p>“What, Jensen?”</p><p>“You wanted to talk to me. Remember?”</p><p>“I don’t want to have it before going out, so no.”</p><p>“Charlie.”</p><p>“I really don’t want to talk about it right now, please.” She lightly grabs his hand and begins to play with his fingers.</p><p>Jensen looks at her worried. “I was kidding, about not having sex. We can. <em>Trust me, </em>I can.” He moves in to kiss her neck and Charlie moves away. He lets his head fall to her shoulder in exasperation. </p><p>“No, you were right.” She says and they both sit there for a minute.</p><p>“Talk to me. Please.”</p><p>“See, that’s the thing. I’m not the one that needs to talk. I’m going to need you to talk to me for once.”</p><p>“So, this is about me?”</p><p>She swayed her head from side to side. “Honestly, No. Though, you are an asshole with the whole ‘we can’t keep having sex, every time we want to avoid shit?’ bit.”</p><p>“Is that not what we’ve been doing?”</p><p>“Yes. But at least let me have my way too, before throwing down the hammer.”</p><p>Jensen smiles at her. “So, <em>you are</em> upset I won’t fuck you. Or better. I won’t let you fuck me.”</p><p>“No. More of the injustice.” She smiles. “I’m upset with things outside of you, Jensen. You’re fine.”</p><p>“You said we needed to talk.”</p><p>“I made it sound worse than it is. I’m not pissed about it. I honestly don’t care. Whatever gets you through the day. I just wanted to know what you’ve been telling Misha. I know he’s your friend. I just noticed he’s …too attuned to things.” She laughs.</p><p>“You don’t care that I tell Misha everything?”</p><p>Charlie shot a look at him. “Wait. Everything?” Her cheeks become crimson, and she begins to curl away from him. “Everything?”</p><p>Her actions conveyed she was pissed, but Charlie’s face wore a big smile. She already kind of knew. He only just confirmed it. And she didn’t actually know what it was that made her so careless too it, but she didn’t care.</p><p>“Jared too?”</p><p>“No. He knows were fucking, but that’s it.”</p><p>“Why Misha?”</p><p>He shrugged. “There’s somethings to it but mostly the moment I met you. He saw how I looked at you. How I reacted to you. He knew.”</p><p>“Knew what?”</p><p>“That you were going to have me wrapped around your little finger. Doesn’t happen ever. So of course, he’s been rooting for you since the beginning. Amongst other reasons. And I have to admit, I have been liking the power dynamic between us.” He jokes.</p><p>“What power dynamic?”</p><p>“I thought you were going to be this complacent, malleable little thing. Something I thought I needed. I naturally wanted you to surrender to me. But to my surprise, you won’t. Not really. You allow yourself to go there but pull back.” He gives her a sinful smile. “And, I don’t know, I love it.”</p><p>“Soooo? You’re telling me what? You want me on my hands and knees bound and begging for it. All, yes sir, No sir.”</p><p>He smiled even wider at her. It was very telling. Jensen shrugged, not really wanting to say yes, but also not wanting to say no.</p><p>“Really?” Charlie said, taken back. <strong><em>Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Yes?</em></strong></p><p>He shrugs again, gaining his confidence. “You want the truth?” Charlie nods, dazed. He looks her up and down with his eyes, thinking about how to delicately word this. “To an extent, I want that, yes. None of the whips and tassels. Or theatrics. Just you. And what makes it all the better, <em>is you</em>. There is a side to you, dormant in there. She comes out every once in a while. I enjoy her. You’re tough and strong willed but gentle and reserved too. You’re a giver, you give yourself. You’re also a pleaser. And you want to be controlled. You want to be taken care of. That’s what I would do for you, and that’s what you would do for me. So, yes. I want that. Mainly you. And I held back on telling. But I’m coming to realize, you’re definitely the submissive type.”</p><p>“I am not.” She objected.</p><p>Jensen smiled. Just from her objection alone, he knew he won her over. <em>For now. </em>“Wanna bet?” he said with a cocky smirk.</p><p>She replied with a shrug, challenging him.</p><p>“Suck my dick.”</p><p>He looked at her, licking then biting his lip hard, waiting for her response.</p><p>Charlie’s eyes instantly trailed to his package. She swallowed and had to consciously fight the urge to bite her lip.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>He didn’t respond. With his smirk still existent, he sits there, saying nothing. Letting it play out. She wasn’t going to let him down.</p><p>Charlie looked forward at the coffee table, debating. She even tried to distract herself, but she couldn’t.</p><p>“God damn it.” She moves forward on the couch. Putting her laptop on the coffee table.</p><p>Jensen smiled, biting his lip some more, knowing he won. <strong><em>Point, Ackles.</em></strong>  His eyes follow her as she shifts to her knees, but not before moving forward to kiss his lips. Jensen kissed back, not touching her. She slid her hands under his shirt, finally allowing herself to indulge. Grazing her skin over his chest and abs. She tugs at his sweatpants and boxers. He lifts himself, allowing her to slide them down to his knees.</p><p>“To be clear, I am doing this because I want to. I love your dick. Not because you’re telling me to do it.”</p><p>“Whatever you tell yourself.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes at him. Moving her attention to his swollen cock, already tall and hard for her. She had to admit, the fact that he could harden at will made her excited. His little admission giving her nasty ideas.</p><p>Charlie pulled her tongue out, moving it down to lightly touch the base of his dick. Keeping eye contact with Jensen and seeing his pupils blown. Seeing nothing but black. She smirks at him right before touching his cock with her tongue, riding it all the way up to his tip. Listening to him grunt as she thoroughly moves over every vein, wrinkle, and freckle. Enjoying every bit. Just tasting him.</p><p>He threw his head back against the couch, his mouth falling open. She moved down on him, finally taking him in her mouth.</p><p>Jensen lets out a deep grunt. She stops for a beat and he lifted his head up, shooting a death stare at her. Charlie was looking up at him, a corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk, “Now wouldn’t it be terribly tragic if I just decided to stop right now.”</p><p>She straightened herself back up, meeting his eye level. Jensen looked at her with frustration, his teeth clenched. She moved forward, pressing a quick kiss on his lips. Making him move into it, needing her. And, just like that, Charlie gained her power back.</p><p>“You really wanna play this game?” He said, his face void of any humor.</p><p>Charlie was intrigued but also a bit terrified which made her excited. His face was very serious. He looked pissed and the sight did things to her. Yes. She wanted to play the game. But… he was hot and ready for her and she really did just want him in her mouth. She moved back down, aligning her face again, looking up at him, wanting him to watch.</p><p>She finally takes him into her mouth, giving him exactly what he wanted. Working him up and down. Giving extra attention to his head and balls. Already knowing how he liked it. Within minutes, Jensen was holding her head down on him. Hitting the back of her throat as he thrust up, finally letting his release hit hard. When he let go, Charlie worked him up and down, sucking all she could out. Licking him clean. Swallowing all of it.</p><p>“You know how I know you’re a freak.” She shrugged as she wiped her lips clean and sat back down on the couch. “You are amazing at sucking dick,” he said very seriously. "Which makes me wonder. What the fuck did you do for all these years?”</p><p>“What years?”</p><p>“I guess, after Matt till now.”</p><p>She laughed. “I told you. No sex or crappy sex.”</p><p>He shook his head in disbelief. “God… what a waste.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. I Can’t Quit You Babe Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Fine, I’ll bite. What’s the freakiest thing you and Danneel ever did?”</p><p>Jensen was reluctant to answer. “Not sure you want to know.”</p><p>"Really? What is it? …Tell me."</p><p>"It's complicated."</p><p>"What's complicated?"</p><p>“To tell you.”</p><p>"Okay, I'm thinking the worst here, so can you just tell me?"</p><p>Jensen bit his lip. <strong><em>You have to tell her, Jensen.</em></strong> <strong><em>Just rip the band-aid off.</em></strong> "I…shared…Danneel." He said the words so slowly, trying to figure out the best way to word them.</p><p>Charlie looked at him, confused as his words slowly began to settle in.</p><p>“I’m sorry…what?”</p><p>“We had… a… slightly …polyamorous relationship.” He said, nervous. Gauging her reaction.</p><p>Charlie had to play the words in her head a few times before it actually sank in.</p><p>"Wow, I was not expecting that one. Fifty shades of super freak, maybe. Exotic trysts at fan conventions, yes. But this…" She looked at him. "She cheated, though. How does that work? Were you the one–"</p><p>"I only agreed to one person. The whole thing was for her, not me. That's how it started anyway."</p><p>“Oh.” Was all Charlie could say. She saw how upset he was. “I’m guessing she went outside that one person.”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>“Hm.” Her face was pensive.</p><p>"You're actually taking this far better than I expected."</p><p>She shrugged. “I don’t want to say, I don’t care. But… I don’t care. Not really. I fully acknowledge that you had a life and existence before I met you. Just like you have to acknowledge, I had one before you met me. Maybe not so allusive, but not because I frown upon it. Besides, I don't think monogamy is for everyone. Sex is natural. Desire is natural. It's social conventions and society that say it's 'not normal'" Using air quotes. "We're not designed to be with one person, were designed to spread our seed. Reproduce. Especially men. For health reasons, guys literally <em>have to</em>ejaculate.” She laughs. “Just like my body naturally expels half of a fetus every month. Biology is weird. Mother nature is a poetically, cruel bitch.”</p><p>Jensen began to feel the slight relief of stress leave his body. “Not a lot of people think like that.”</p><p>"Yeah, I know. Didn't always think this way. There was a time when sex scared me. The world scared me."</p><p>“Cannot imagine that.” He smiled.</p><p>“So, who was the other person? If I’m allowed to ask. Unless it needs to be secretive. Under the radar.”</p><p>Jensen bit his lip. “You’ve kinda been picking up on it.”</p><p>She turned her head to the side, perplexed.  His words confusing her.</p><p>He looked back at her, hesitating. “Misha.” He finally says, feeling stress riddle his body.</p><p>Charlie’s mouth fell open as she stared at him. <em>Mind-blown</em>. Suddenly everything clicked. All the little details, conversations, and subtle mannerisms over the past eleven days connected, and it all suddenly made sense. She felt stupid for seeing all the signs but not putting it together.</p><p>“Misha.” She said in awe. “Misha?!...No. No.” She shook her head. “No, he’s like a …cute little pocket elf.”</p><p>"He's a grown-ass man. He's older than me."</p><p>"Yeah, I mean, I know, but you're <em>you</em>… you know. Not Macho, but … <em>manly</em>.”</p><p>“And Misha’s not?”</p><p>"Of course, but he's like…<em>Misha</em>. He’s precious and adorable, and I can’t even imagine him making babies. His children are from storks.”</p><p>Jensen starts laughing. “Trust me. You’d be surprised. It’s always the quiet ones.”</p><p>"Misha?!"</p><p>Jensen nods hard. “Yes.”</p><p>"Wait, wait, okay. I am trying to understand this here.  So, you’re married to Danneel.”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>“Misha is married to Vicky.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>"And what? Danneel asks, hey, hot stuff can I boink your best friend every Thursday of the month. While you’re off taking care of business.”</p><p>"No, not exactly. It just happened, and I liked it. And it kept…happening. And I kept liking it. It just helped me… find another part of myself. One I didn’t know was there. One that helped be channel my shit.”</p><p>“And you were okay with it? Her… sexing him?”</p><p>"Sexing? Boink?" He laughed at her choice of wording.</p><p>“It’s Misha… I-I just can’t. I mean, I know I said we needed to have a conversation, but I was expecting silent counseling sessions with sexual undertones. Or sex talk over bromancing with sushi and beer… but this. Misha?”</p><p>He ignored her rambling and answered her original question. “Yes. I was there. So, yes, I was fine with it.”</p><p>"There as in, you partook or there as in you watched?”</p><p>"Both."</p><p>“Holy shit Ackles. You dirty, dirty boy.”</p><p>Jensen laughs at her. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you.”</p><p>“So, when you were like ‘Misha is a <em>little liberated</em>’, is this what you were talking about?”</p><p>Jensen thought for a second, trying to remember the conversation.</p><p>"Kind of, yes.” He smiled. “You remembered that?”</p><p>"<em>Yes.</em> And, as I said, you planted a seed in my head. Left me very curious as to what the fuck you were talking about."</p><p>“Yes, that’s what I was talking about.”</p><p>Charlie squinted her eyes at him. “Wait, Do you wanna fuck Maggie?”</p><p>“What?! No! <em>No.</em> That was purely a joke. I <em>was</em> kidding. Mags is cool. But no, Maeson. I do not want to <em>boink</em> your best friend.” Jensen reassured her.</p><p>She calmed down with a nod. “Good.” She smiled back at his use of her nickname for her best friend, and his use of her expletive. <strong><em>I’m sure Maggie would jump on that quicker than I could even propose it.</em></strong> “So, it was just Misha then? That you shared her with.”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"<em>Hm</em>." She looked out at the night sky, thinking. "So, what happened?" Looking back at him. "Like, why did she … go outside of that?"</p><p>He took a deep breath, “There are a lot of different reasons. Mainly, I was gone… a lot. When we got married, we knew being together in the same state or country for any long period of time wasn't an option. When we started dating, she was filming One Tree Hill, and I was filming Supernatural. She was on the east coast; I was on the west. But we made it work, and that made us stronger." Jensen looked at Charlie as she listened attentively.</p><p>“After Justice was born, it got complicated between us. Things got strained. She went through post-partum. We didn’t know what it was at first. And with me being gone… things got worse. She had to stop acting. We moved to Texas a little while after. Tryin’ to create some semblance of a normal life. To be closer to our families.”</p><p>"But?"</p><p>"What happens after you have a kid? We were tired. We had little time for 'us' things. Our relationship was put on the back burner because I was always gone. In Vancouver, at conventions, or production meetings. You name it. Then her being alone, away from me in Texas definitely didn't help things. In the beginning, we would bring JJ to Vancouver but eventually, that was too much. She had to start school. We stopped having sex regularly. I became more frustrated; she became more frustrated. We became two different people trying to pretend like we were okay. But we weren't."</p><p>"So, how did Misha get into it?"</p><p>"Misha and I are close." He looks at her. "Jared and I are equally close but… to a different degree. He's my brother. Different dynamic. Eventually, Dee and Misha got close too. She opened up to him. Then Misha and Vicky were going through their own thing after having Maison. They eventually made an agreement. They could have whoever, as long as each other approved and it was safe. They already had their own past …experimenting with others. Just never to that extent.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, feeling her heart sink into her chest as she also begins to realize how she plays into all this. She’s replacing Danneel. To Jensen and Misha. Jensen as a romantic partner and Misha as a <em>professional</em> partner. Charlie knew Danneel was on the board. She also knew Danneel knew about her. That whole situation was part of the reason she was a bit hesitant to take the job Misha offered her.</p><p>However, she didn't want to be narrow-minded. She didn't want to refuse a good job, especially a good cause, one she knew she could help, because of something so trivial. She believes in Misha’s dedication and the mission of the company. She heard nothing but good things about Danneel from Random Acts employees and the cast. She wasn’t worried it would become a hostile thing. Then again, she also needed to leave MAP.</p><p>Her head begins to spin, thinking about all the little tidbits mentioned in passing over the two weeks. Everything fitting into place. Misha and Jensen's closeness. Misha and Danneel's fall out. She didn't know how she felt about being in the dark about all this. Though she understood why she was. She couldn't be upset about what he did before her, and she wasn't. She wanted to ask so many questions, but she needed him to open up more.</p><p>Jensen looked at Charlie, recognizing the emotions on her face, but he kept going. “Misha was in Texas for a Random Acts thing; they have an office in Austin. Dee and I were helping out. He stayed with us naturally. We had to travel early, so we had Gen and Jared watch JJ. They made a sleepover out of it since they all go to the same school. So, they gave us the night. It was honestly one of the very few times where Dee and I were both together without a kid. We were drinking, talking, eating. Just relaxing for once. Felt like old times. Misha just added to the mood. It wasn't discussed, wasn't planned." He took a deep breath. "At some point in the night, Danneel became… handsy with me. She started kissing me in front of him. Misha's not one to shy away from… Well, anything sexual, really. All about experimenting." He rolls his eyes, thinking about his licentious friend. "And it became obvious to both of us, she was loving it." Jensen paused for a long second, remembering.</p><p>"Please. Keep me in suspense," Charlie said, with sarcasm as he stays silent.</p><p>He finally looked at her, unwavering. “I fucked Danneel. In front of him…. And he watched… And she loved it." Dramatically pausing between each sentence. Making each one stand-alone in admission. "And when I was done…. I let him fuck her. Repeatedly. … And I watched."</p><p>Charlie reacted to his stern tone. Singling out each action, temptingly articulating the memory. She was beginning to feel that familiar tug between her legs, her body immediately betraying her. He wasn't ashamed of what he did, he enjoyed it. He was proud of it. She could see the glimmer of excitement in his glamorous green eyes. His pupils, beginning to expand, proving her thoughts.</p><p>She had to admit it sounded… titillating.</p><p>“We hadn’t felt like that in a long time. It felt good. It felt new. She seemed … satisfied,” Jensen added.</p><p>“Where does the-”</p><p>"Cheating get involved?" She nods. "After. I agreed she could have Misha, but only Misha. And for me, I didn't want anyone. I just wanted her."</p><p>Charlie falls sad learning this. She felt heartbroken for him.</p><p>"I did what she wanted. If she wanted Misha and I wasn't there, fine. I trusted him; I knew him. But somewhere along the line, that wasn't enough. She tried doing some acting gigs, and I worked around her schedule. I wanted her to do something other than being a mother. I wanted her to find her old self again. It was a struggle, but we managed. She did a couple projects. Press junkets. All that. One weekend I came home, early and unannounced. Just wanted to get home to my family… I found her in bed with a producer from Lifetime. My daughter was asleep in her bed upstairs. At that moment, I was hurt. I was angry. But the fact that there was a man, in my house, with free range to my baby girl, as Dee just laid asleep next to him… that did it for me. I took JJ. I took her to Dallas. I kept her away from Danneel for a few days.”</p><p>"That's why she petitioned for custody?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He nodded his head. “I was wrong. I realized after; I was wrong. But I was upset, and I was worried about my daughter. You wanna fuck someone else. Fine. You don’t bring him into our home. Around <em>our</em> child. Without my knowledge.” He shook his head, shaking the thoughts away. “And part of it was because of what I walked into, but it was also just because it was… over. There was no coming back from that. Not for me. Not in that way. It wasn't just the betrayal or the fact that she potentially put my daughter in harm's way. No matter how much she felt, she could trust that man. Since that day, I can't look at her the same. I can't be the same around her. I tried. I killed myself to make her happy. Content. Sure, some things I couldn't give her. So, I let her have her fun. I supported her. I gave her everything I could give her, and still, she wasn't happy."</p><p>Charlie looked at him, seeing him finally lay it all in front of her. She wasn't used to seeing him this way. He looked devastated as he let her in. He was being vulnerable.</p><p>“Do you miss her?”</p><p>Jensen turned his head to her, trying to see her face when she asked that. She looked at him empathetically. He looked around the room, trying to figure out what to say.</p><p>“It’s okay, Jensen. I’m not going to get upset. You can talk about her, you know. I'd rather you did, than didn't.” He hesitates, looking down. “I think you do. Miss her. A lot." Charlie admits, watching him. "And I think maybe you are scared of what that means. Both because of me and because of what you had to walk away from."</p><p>"I miss my best friend." She could begin to see his eyes glass over. "I don't miss my wife or the mother of my child. I mean, I do, but… I miss the relationship we had. I miss the comfort I found in her. We were together for… for a long time. A lot happened during that time. We lived together for almost all of that. She was-is a part of every single aspect of my life. My family, my friends, my job." He threw his head back on the couch. Looking up at the ceiling. "When that happened, something in me … separated from her. She's not a bad person. I wouldn't allow her to care for my daughter if I thought that. She's a great mother. She loves her daughter. But she's just a product of her upbringing, of her life. I know what she did wasn't to hurt me or deceive me. Well… I know that now. I had to come to terms with that. And I realize, now, this is her way of coming to terms with it, this petty little drama between us. Except now, she’s realizing how this all affects our daughter. But, yes. I miss her. So many things have happened since then. For the longest time, I had to fight the instinct to call her and tell her everything. Even when it comes to you?"</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"I wanted to tell her about you." He said, looking at her again with unease. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For?”</p><p>"Keeping all this from you?”</p><p>“We’ve been dating for ten days. I don’t expect to know a full run down of your entire life.”</p><p>“How do you feel about it?”</p><p>"I just have questions?"</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>“Is that everything?”</p><p>Jensen looks at her, apprehensive again.</p><p>With a sigh, “Oh, god. What is It, Jensen?”</p><p>“There were some others after.”</p><p>"After Danneel?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p> Charlie was beginning to get nervous. “Who?”</p><p>“Vicky.”</p><p>“Collins?” she asked, her voice going up an octave again.</p><p>Jensen nods. "Misha."</p><p>Charlie looks at him doing a double-take, needing clarification. "Mi-Misha… as in you had sex with Misha?"</p><p>Jensen nodded. <strong><em>Holy shit Jensen’s bi. </em></strong></p><p>“Like penetration-y sex with Misha.”</p><p>“Him, not me. But yes.”</p><p>“So, like… you fucked him.”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>“Oh.” She just let’s out. Staring off into space, imagining it. "So, just you and Misha alone?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"With Danneel?"</p><p>"And Vicky. Yes. I only slept with Vicky once. She was the first after Danneel. It was Misha's way of trying to get me to … sleep with someone outside of Dee, for the first time in a long time. His way of getting me back out there. I refused to for the longest time, and after I did…I kinda let it out on her. Vicky had no problems with it.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure she didn’t.” She tensely chuckled. Then fell quiet for a few minutes. Mulling everything over in her head.</p><p>“Please say something.”</p><p>Charlie looks at him, reading his face and his eyes. He looked anxious. “I don’t know what to say.”</p><p>Jensen moves forward to kiss her, needing to feel her. For her to tell him it was okay. She kisses him back. He began moving her down to the couch. Trying to get some form of confirmation, they were okay. He needed it.</p><p>Charlie was still taking in what he said. It didn’t change how she felt about him. Not in the way he thought. She could feel the desperation in his advance. He needed her to say it was okay. The truth was, she wasn’t bothered by it. But she needed to process it. She needed to allow herself, for once since meeting him, to be clear-minded and rational. Charlie had to take sex and, what felt like being in the presence of a god, off the table. She needed to see how this new knowledge fit into her future with Jensen. This is beyond getting into a relationship with a divorcee, or a small screen film actor. This was accepting all that came with him.</p><p><strong><em>His lips are not helping.</em></strong> Charlie hums against them, pushing him away. She looks to his face as they separate, causing her to soften hers. She gives him another sweet peck. Just to give him some assurance.</p><p>She rolled her eyes and began to lazily chuckle. “Please stop looking at me like that. I’m not going to walk out the door, Jensen. I don’t care who you fucked. As long as you’re not still fucking them… Him. I don't care that you and Misha have been having naughty rendezvouses with your wives. If anything, I respect you for it. For telling me. For being more progressive than I peg you for." She pressed her lips together, catching her pun. “Ha-ha. Peg.”</p><p>He gave her a serious look. <strong><em>Right, gotta take this seriously. He is pouring his heart out here, Charlie. </em></strong></p><p>“But.” He asked.</p><p>"But nothing. Why do I feel like you're expecting me to be upset? Regarding Misha. I really <em>don’t care</em>. Maybe that tells you something. Or maybe I am truly that fucked up. I don't know, but I tell Maggie about you.  I will continue to. That is my right of passage. I just hope it’s respectful, what you tell him. But again, you’re not that kinda guy. I can’t imagine you giving him a play by play of my vagina.” She gives him a questioning glare. “You don’t give him a play by play of my vagina, do you?”</p><p>“No. Nothing like that. It’s not that deep.”</p><p>“Well, you said everything. Just wanted to clarify.”</p><p>"You just caught me off guard. Coming into my life. I have to talk to someone. The only person who knows me enough to open up to comfortably in that way is Misha. And well, now you. When I say everything, I mean, you held me down on my couch and fucked me like I was a fuck doll. Then let me have my way with you again less than an hour later. So, when I come into work the next morning, looking exhausted and not regretting a moment of what kept me up. I felt inclined to tell him I found the sexiest, smartest, badass babe, and I don't know what to do with myself. Misha is just very loosey goosey. For lack of a better term.”</p><p>“What about Jared?”</p><p>"When it comes to you, no. That gets complicated, cause of Gen. Whatever I tell him, he has to tell his wife. Whatever Gen knows, she may or may not tell Danneel. They’re best friends."</p><p>"Has to tell his wife?"</p><p>"Ehh, I told Danneel everything. He tells Gen everything. I'm not going to ask him to lie or deceive. Not unless I'm asking both of them."</p><p>"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. You're married. Parents. Partners."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Beast of Burdern</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, then, why were you upset before I came in from my office after you got home?” Jensen finally asked.</p><p>“I told you, things outside of you, beautiful boy.” Charlie moves forward to kiss his lips, but he doesn’t reciprocate. He stays still, wanting her to talk.</p><p>She pulls back with a sigh. “I was fine till I spoke to my mother. Then everything hit me again…”</p><p>“What happened with your mother?”</p><p>"Nothing, really. She’s just driving me insane over her wedding. I agreed to pay for something I probably should have just put my foot down about.”</p><p>“Like?”</p><p>“Paying for my sister and her family’s hotel accommodations for the week of the wedding.”</p><p>“Why?” he asked, almost annoyed at her admission.</p><p>“Because my mother is too cheap to, and my sister is too broke to. She wanted to use my house, but that would have meant I had to hold off on putting my house on the market. But I already have that in motion. And if I resisted, it would have been an argument. I’m done arguing. I just don’t have the energy. Especially, right now. I’ve told her repeatedly having a wedding, at a fucking golf resort, in fucking Scottsdale is bonkers! There could be so many other things to utilize that money on. But no. She has to look like she has money coming out of her ass. Which, she doesn’t. I’m also trying to rush the process before her soon to-be husband number three realizes who he’s marrying, and I can’t sell my house anymore. Because the burden of my mother always falls on me. Which I realize I do to myself… but she’s my mom…” Charlie breathes. “At the same time, my sister will definitely get upset that I bought the reservations, because well, I don’t know. To her I’m a rich pretentious twit, who has to show her hand. It’s always a catch twenty-two with them. I always have to decide what kind of bad guy I want to be. It’s exhausting. Constantly feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. Just talking to my mom… she brought up things, and now I-" She looked up, realizing she was rambling. "I'm sorry. I’m rambling. I’m just done. I just wanna quit.”</p><p>Jensen looks at her, fear written across his face. </p><p>“Not us, Ackles. My job… I think I want to quit my job.”</p><p>He relaxed and looked at her with concern. "Oh," he said, trying to think of something to say. "Well, what about Random Acts?”</p><p>She shot a look at him. <strong><em>Really?</em></strong> “I was honestly thinking about it but, learning what I just learned. I don’t know.  I don’t know if I want my personal life to mix with professional life any more than it already has. Besides, I’m just trying to handle one thing at a time right now.”</p><p>“What’s that mean?”</p><p>She looks at him wearily. "Nothing Jensen. It's fine."</p><p>“Yeah, not gonna fly.” He said to her as she sat pensively. “Tell me.”</p><p>“What part?”</p><p>"You can start with, mixing your personal life with professional?”</p><p>She chuckled at the fact that she had to explain. "I came here on the basis of a professional relationship with Misha. And maybe if it was just that, I'd have said yes immediately to his proposal. But I developed a relationship with you, Jensen. I've become friends with Misha during that time. Jared. Olivia. My best friend, who I brought with me to Vancouver on a whim, is also having a relationship with Misha's assistant. Plus, your convoluted… love life. I don't know. It's just, a lot of things are changing, and I'm trying to keep up."</p><p>“Like you, quitting?”</p><p>“Yes, like me quitting, or Maggie moving, or me meeting you, or me … feeling what I feel about you, and everything that comes with you…just my life!”</p><p>Jensen turns his head to the side at her last words but blew it off for a second. “Maggie’s moving?”</p><p>She looked at him, then looked down, grabbing his hand and lightly playing with the lines of his palm. “She’s going to have to if she lands Amblin. She would have to move to LA. She needs to go; she needs to grow. Which is fine. It’s just-”</p><p>“A lot.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“What are you feeling about meeting me? About your life?”</p><p>She looked at him, meeting his eyes and seeing the worry in them. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean…” She racked her brain on what to say. “I don’t know.”</p><p>Jensen nodded. “So, you’re quitting?” Changing the subject.</p><p>“Please don’t tell Misha. I know he’ll be all excited. And I honestly just want to take some time off. I need a break from everything, and I know he’ll-”</p><p>“Okay.” He interjects, intertwining their fingers, bringing her hand to his lips. Kissing it. He pulls her to him. Charlie rolls forward, into his chest, relaxing against him.</p><p>“After what happened Monday… I just don’t feel it anymore. I’ve spent two days watching supernatural while also watching my work screen just to say I did a job.”</p><p>“But you’ve been working on the account? I’m copied to the emails.”</p><p>“Yeah, I'm overlooking accounts. I am doing my job to a degree… just less than what I did before. I just don’t care. I feel used and disrespected. I feel like after Monday, I lost the little fight I had. I learned my place, and now I just don't want to go back. Rich even emailed me; I have a meeting on Friday with the new board. They want to discuss a possible promotion, I think…. I don't know."</p><p>“But that sounds promising.”</p><p>“It’s too little too late. The damage is done. I was miserable about my job, my life, before this, before Vancouver before Misha and you. I stayed for comfort and convenience. I am no longer comfortable.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Charlie. I didn’t realize this was all going on. Not everything.”</p><p>“You don’t have to be sorry. It's just <em>that</em>, and you're leaving tomorrow. Which is fine too. But I feel like the life I had when I came here is not the life, I'm going back to… and that's… daunting. But they're good things. You know? You're good, Olivia, Misha, Amblin. It's all good. Guess, on top of everything, I'm just a little scared of feeling lost. Maybe feeling left behind. With my job falling to shit and Maggie succeeding I can't help but feel like the road to success that I chose just led me down a road of regret and what if's."</p><p>“Maybe Maggie will stay in Tacoma. Or you can move to LA,” Jensen said, trying to sound hopeful.</p><p>She moves to look up at him with a tender devoted smile. “You’re adorable.” She said and gave him a kiss. “It’s been five years, Ackles. I think it’s about time she moves on. Besides, LA is not my scene.”</p><p>Jensen cradles her face looking at her warmly. “I don’t know what to say, Maeson. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Charlie shrugs. “There is nothing you can say. You can be here for me. Listen to me ramble on. That would help. But other than that, I just have to muddle through." She smiles, but it still doesn’t touch her eyes. </p><p>“If you need me. I am here. I don’t know how to say all the gushy shit. Or perfectly put my thoughts to words. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. I’m there.” He declares, looking her face over. "Yeah, I take it back. Can we have sex?"</p><p>She brings her fingers to his lips, grazing over the little freckles that line them.</p><p>“We have to get ready.”</p><p>“Ugh.”</p><p>“Hey. It wasn’t my idea. I was completely fine staying in for a fiery night of goodbye sex.”</p><p>"Charlie," he said as an objection, as her words hit hard. He put his forehead against hers.</p><p>“Hmm. It’s probably the best sex, too,” she said. Knowing after this conversation, they were probably not going to have sex tonight. He squeezes her. "Just kidding." Pushing her nose to his. "Kinda."</p><p>Jensen bites his lip, coming to a realization, and getting an idea. He moves to pull Charlie onto his lap. Leaning forward to grab her ass. She laughs at the sudden assault and straddles him. Letting her hands fall to his stomach.</p><p>"Soo, does this mean you can spend more time this way or in Texas? Maybe lighten the load off Maggie moving?"</p><p>She chuckled. “Emphasis on lighten the load…”</p><p>Jensen shakes his head. “Sometimes, I don’t know who’s more perverse. Me or you?... I was being serious.”</p><p>Charlie smirks at him. “Maybe.” Rolling her hips into him. “You gonna be my sugar daddy?” She pecks his lips lightly. “Make me your little fuck doll. For you to tow around with on your travels. Never been to Italy. Amsterdam. Hmmm, New Orleans.” Her voice low and provocative.</p><p>“Yes. All of the yeses.”</p><p>Charlie rolls her eyes and rolled off of him. "Just like that? What if I was trying to swindle you? And all of this was some ploy to get you into bed, make you fall in love with me, and win your Ackles empire?"</p><p>“That would be a lot of orchestrating.” He smiled. “And some phenomenal acting skills.”<br/>
“I’ve done an indie film. Kinda. I have some street cred.”</p><p>Jensen laughed. “Uh, okay. We’re going to come back to that at a later time… But you know what gives you away?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>"You're body. Your cheeks, and the way you get all flushed and flustered.” He bites his lip. “Your heartbeat and your subtle little actions amongst other things. The things you can't act. The things you can't control. Besides, something tells me you're a smart cookie. You carry yourself well. Not that it's at all my place, but I’ve caught myself wondering what you're sitting on."</p><p>"Well, right now, you." She presses her lips to his for a quick kiss.</p><p>"So, what then? You're just going to be jobless?”</p><p>“For the most part, you’re right. I have a decent savings. I make a pretty decent amount annually. I don’t have kids and I live a pretty minimal life. I’ve paid off my student debt. Suffice it to say, I’ve made a lot of expendable income. Which of course only my accountant, Maggie, and my uncle know. And well, now you… cause… I don’t feel the need to hide that from you. You’re not going to take advantage of me. Or manipulate me. I’m sure, what I have, doesn’t compare to your worth. Which is a bit liberating, I have to admit. Not having to hide those aspects of my life.” She smiled. “I’m also selling my house. I paid off my Jeep last year. I'm not saying I'm quitting tomorrow. I'm saying that's how I feel. That's what I'm leaning towards, but I have so much going on, and I haven't been able to just catch a breath emotionally. The thing is I've spent a long time avoiding this shit, and it’s kinda coming all at once, and when I think about going back I… I feel defeated. I'm not rejecting Misha's proposal. It's a major part of the reason I feel like I've given up on MAP. But Misha and I have to have a very in depth, lengthy, and transparent conversation before I even think about saying yes."</p><p>“I can respect that,” he said, still looking uneasy.</p><p>“Stop looking at me like someone died. I’m fine.”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t think you are. Now that I’m really getting a full grasp of it all.”</p><p>“And I’m fine.”</p><p>He just narrows his eyes at her, “You know I don’t buy it.”</p><p>She looks at him one final time then moves to slide off his lap.</p><p>Jensen grabs her hand, not pulling her but stopping her from walking away. "Are we going to talk about this later or just sweep it under the rug?" he asked.</p><p>She looks over at her watch, and then down at him with a sigh. “It’s seven o’clock, Jay. We have to get ready.”</p><p>He looked up at her, seeing the resigned look in her eyes and the stress in the way she carried her body. Jensen stood up, moving her into his embrace. Still holding her hand, he intertwined his fingers. Using his other hand to softly pull at her ponytail, exposing her neck to him.</p><p>Charlie didn't fight him, but she didn't move into it either. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began pushing her towards the adjacent wall. Using his other hand to wrap around her neck, squeezing lightly, making her look at him.</p><p>“I asked you a question.”</p><p>Charlie could feel the effect he was having on her body. She could feel the familiar pull inside her. She needed him, she was always going to need him, but she was not emotionally there. She couldn't bring herself to reciprocate.</p><p>“Is this going to be our relationship now? You trying to control me? Not that I’m complaining. But I haven’t exactly agreed to this heavy-handed dynamic.” She smiled.</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “This is why I don’t speak. I usually fuck up on what I’m trying to say.” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean it in that way. I just want to know your mine. Mainly, I was saying it doesn’t really apply to you. But <em>you are</em> docile. In the bedroom anyway. I’m not gonna go make you kneel in a corner or spank you with a paddle. Even though that shit is hot as hell, and I’m totally down for it. I’m not a masochist or sadist. Maybe a little bit of voyeurism.” He shrugged. “I just want you to be <em>mine</em>.” The two stared at each other for a moment. Both, deep in thought. “And no. This just gets a rise out of you.”</p><p>“For what?” She asked annoyed. Finally beginning to let her attitude show a bit. She was over the conversation.</p><p>“I just told you everything. Expecting anger or frustration. For you to be appalled. I made you give me a blow job, and you’re fine? I wouldn’t be fine. Considering.”</p><p>“To be clear, you didn’t make me. I chose too. Which, of course, is what you wanted. And I knew that. You don’t want submission. Not really. You like knowing what gets me to tick. You don’t want me to beg. That’s not your game here. You don’t need validation. This isn’t about your ego. You want me, <em>to want,</em> to beg for <em>you</em>. You want my mind to submit to you. You want me to need you, rely on you. You don’t want kink, you want control. That’s what gets you off. And fine, I’ll admit to being a giver and a pleaser. You can thank my, ever-present, abandonment issues.  But here’s the thing. I could have just as easily said, no, and agreed to playing your little game. I could have chosen to not suck you off. But then we both would have lost. You’re not a chore or a task, Jensen. If anything, you’re my prize. But, no. You’re not going to control me. If that’s what you meant or not. Not in that way. This is a give and take. I know you have wants. Fine. Whatever you want, baby. I try not to back down from new experiences. But I’m not your rag doll. I’m your girlfriend.” She hesitates. “I think. So, you better damn well believe mommas getting her fix too.”</p><p>He smiled at her, “There she is.” Looking at her with a hint of pride. “And, yes. You are my girlfriend.”</p><p>Charlie narrows her eyes at him. She had a feeling there was something he wasn’t telling her. It began to nag at her. She was pulled away from being lost in thought, when she felt Jensen kiss her neck. But she just was not in the mood.</p><p>Everything they were talking about still ruminated inside her mind. She could feel his need, for her to show him it was okay. With 'byes' and 'see you laters' on the horizon, they both needed reassurance. But Charlie didn't have that right now. She couldn't give him that. She didn't know how to feel.</p><p>Jensen let go of her ponytail, embracing her more. Pulling her in for a deep sensual kiss, trying to communicate through it. She pulled away lightly, looking at him for a second. Landing one final kiss on his lips before walking away into the bedroom to get ready for their night.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Off To The Races</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>* Sorry. This is a long one ladies and gents.  ;) 💗</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jensen followed Charlie into the bedroom as they both got ready for the night. Silently, moving around each other, allowing her to have her space. He knew she needed it. He headed into the shower while she got dressed. Charlie changed into an olive-green dress and waited for Jensen to get out of the bathroom to finish up. She blew her tussled curls out a bit but leaving the ends curled and letting it part to the side, naturally accentuating her long bangs.</p><p>As she bent over the bathroom sink, towards the mirror, putting top liner and mascara on, she watched as the ring around her neck falls from her chest and begins to hang in the air. She watched it dangle, moving circles from the force of the fall.</p><p>She could feel the lump form in the back of her throat. She had to hold it back, gripping the counter, trying to control the guilt and anxiety she had been suppressing. Amongst everything else, she didn’t need a reminder that she was moving on from Matt. She didn’t need a reminder of her failure.</p><p><strong><em>Come on, Charlie. Don’t start crying.</em></strong> She stands there for a second, breathing slowly, holding back the monsoon of emotions, being barricaded by fragile walls. She thanked herself for putting waterproof mascara on.</p><p>"Get your shit together, Maeson," she says to herself.</p><p>She looks back at the ring hanging over her bare chest, resting free and unattended against her skin with her low-cut V-neck dress. Feeling overwhelmed and tired of the reminder it gave her, she grabs the ring, pulling it over her head and throwing it into her jewelry bag.</p><p>When she looked back at herself in the mirror, noticing the empty spot where the ring hung. She placed her hand over her heart, feeling the emptiness it evoked. She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply, letting her feelings in that moment pass.</p><p>"It's okay, Charlie." She breathes some more. "It's okay." She kept telling herself over and over. She reaches into her jewelry bag, pulling out her gold ‘Calliope’ chain she hadn't worn in a long, long time. The one she's always carried with her, without failure, but never wore. Tonight, she wore it. She needed something to ground her. She needed something to fill that empty spot over her heart.</p><p>Charlie looked in the mirror, feeling lifted and loving the gold color against her skin with the dress. When she hears Jensen moving through the room, probably headed towards her, she immediately began gathering her things. Pulled out of the moment, all emotions replaced with haste. She rushed to leave the bathroom as soon as possible, not wanting Jensen to see her upset and hoping to avoid another long conversation or heart to heart. <strong><em>Not right now.</em></strong></p><p>Quickly, she grabbed her things and began to walk out of the bathroom. Almost colliding with Jensen as he walked towards her direction. He managed to stop her at arm's length.</p><p>"Woah!" he said as he caught her. "You all right?"</p><p>She looked up and nodded. Jensen dropped his hands to her waist, finally looking at her. "Holy…Woah."</p><p>She was beautiful. The dress color against her skin in contrast with her long brown hair as it laid casually, yet gracefully, over her one shoulder. Her ends curling around the shape of her breast. The neck of the dress dropping down into her cleavage perfectly covering them, leaving enough to the imagination but also enough to tease.</p><p>He noticed the diamond ring was gone but kept his eyes moving down. Taking in the way the dress hugged her body with a thin layer of slightly see-through fabric, tightly hugging all the way to her stomach. It subtly showed her curves as the dress flowed freely at her waist down to her ankles.</p><p>"Wow," Jensen said in awe again. "You… you look amazing."</p><p>"Thank you," Charlie said as she looked him over.</p><p>He wore a dark royal blue and white polka dot shirt with a white shirt underneath and light denim jeans with his Arlyn Studio hat. She tried to wrap her head around how the color blue changes his look from a regular guy next door to this hypnotizing, ovary-killing, panty-dropping charmer.</p><p>When he stepped away to give her room, Charlie stepped with him, watching his pleasantly pink lips, wanting to devour them. She held back, looking up at him. Knowingly, he peers into her eyes, and she could see his pupils dilated, his face very serious. Charlie bit her lip and smiled to herself, enjoying the thought that he would be tortured all night too.</p><p>Jensen shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. He clears his throat. "Who's Calliope?" Moving to touch the gold name plated necklace around her neck.</p><p>Charlie followed his hand, looking down, feeling nostalgic. "Me."</p><p>Jensen looked confused.</p><p>“Calliope after my grandmother. My father's mother. And Charlotte comes from my mom. I was originally supposed to be a boy. She loved Tom Cruise, Top Gun. My name was supposed to be Maverick. But I came out a girl, so she settled with Charlotte, making it my middle name. Somewhere along the lines, everyone just started calling me Charlie. My dad gave this to me when I was a wee thing. It's was his mother's. It's survived a lot, meant a lot to him. I had to get it fixed and sized a few times, but I kept it. It's sentimental. I just always have to have something around my neck. It grounds me."</p><p>"So, you go by your middle name?"</p><p>“Yes, Calliope is my first name.”</p><p>"You tellin’ me, I been dating you for almost two weeks, and I didn't even know your first name this whole time?"</p><p>Charlie giggled, and the sound was magic to his ears. "Yes."</p><p>He smiled wide. "I like it better, actually. It's unique and more fitting to you."</p><p>"Yeah. As I got older, I learned to love it. Especially, learning about my grandmother. She was a badass woman. Now I just use it as an alias or pseudonym when I need to."</p><p>“Pseudonym?”</p><p>"You know. When I do projects and stuff, and I don't want my real name included.”</p><p>"What's your pseudonym?"</p><p>Charlie shook her head, not wanting to tell him. “Then you’ll look me up.”</p><p>"Is there something to look up?" She smiles wide but doesn't answer. Jensen's interest piqued. "Really?"</p><p>She shrugged. “I’m allowed one secret.”</p><p>"Really?... Okay. I'll let it go, for now. So, Calliope Charlotte Maeson? Just so, I know who I'm dating.”</p><p>She gave him a bland look at his little jab. “Yes, sir.” Emphasizing the ‘sir’ and adding a wink.</p><p>“Cute.”</p><p>"I'm adorable." She smiled wide.</p><p>“Mhm. You ready? Misha's place is like a half-hour away."</p><p>"Yup. You can drive. My keys are on the kitchen counter. Give me a second just have to put my stuff away."</p><p>Jensen walked away as Charlie walks to her bags. Passing, she sees his luggage over by the closet door. Charlie felt overcome with a sense of sadness again. Knowing she didn't have much time with him, she didn't know what would happen after tomorrow.</p><p>When she walked into the main area, Jensen leaned against the couch, waiting for her. He was on his phone, not seeing or hearing her walk in. She looked him up and down, not saying a word.</p><p>Watching him, candidly, she didn't know if it was how hot and damn delicious he looked or his casual stance as he rested against the couch. Maybe even be the light stubble around his chin, accentuating his cheekbone, adding another level of sexy to his gorgeous face. But she stood there, taking him in. Gathering it against what she learned today, what she was feeling. She began to lighten her mood, becoming hopeful. Whatever came, she had to allow herself to be grateful. Even if whatever they have ends tomorrow. As short-lived as it is, she finally got to have a small slice of happiness. He was a good man. Sure, he had baggage, but so did she. Whatever came with him; it didn't matter.</p><p>Charlie finally walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, admiring him as she looked up. Jensen smiled down to her before taking her hand as he puts his phone in his pocket, walking them over to the door. He opens it for her. As she goes to walk out, he scoops her into a tender embrace.</p><p>"You are beautiful, baby." Adding a sweet kiss on her lips, making her feel weak under his touch.</p><p>For the first time in hours, Charlie smiled a genuine smile, touching her eyes. Feeling comfort in his words and his little pet name. “Thank you.”</p><p>On the way to Misha’s house, Jensen drove as Charlie sat in the passenger's seat, watching Vancouver as it breezed by. She was quiet, lost in her head.</p><p>Jensen allowed her to be, trying to give her some form of space as he watched the road. He looked over at her and could sense she was lost in her head. Keeping with the laid-back silence, he decided to change the radio. Some random station was playing, and Jensen didn't care for the music. He touched the screen making the stereo play whatever song was connected to her phone's bluetooth by mistake.</p><p>“Sorry, I was just trying to change the music,” he said, seeing the touch screen show her phone's apps because it was connected via Bluetooth. Displaying her text and call notifications.</p><p>"It's okay." She reassured him, moving to touch the screen, allowing the music to play, and smiling at what comes on.</p><p>Jensen was a bit thrown back at the music choice as the car filled with a familiar guitar and bass intro. Passenger by Deftones begins to play.</p><p>Charlie fiddled with the touch screen. Her fingers begin to move to the cords as she hums to the lyrics. Jensen listened to the song, trying to pinpoint the band. Just as he was about to ask her who it was, she begins to sing along as if Jensen wasn't in the car. He just listens, enthralled at how perfectly she sang the lyrics and moved her fingers to the beat.</p><p>After the song finishes, he asks, “So you listen to this kind of music?”</p><p>"I'd say I'm more of an indie-folk listener, now, love my classic rock. But, it also depends on my mood. Deftones just kinda stuck around over the years. Their music is deep, sensual, and empowering. I try to see them in concert as frequently as possible."</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Nothing, just learning things," Jensen said, then remembered something. "Oh, by the way, what's your tattoo say?"</p><p>"Si vis Pacem, para Bellum." She said in perfect Latin.</p><p>He rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah, I can read. Smartass. What's it translate to, like what's it mean?”</p><p>Charlie laughed. "If you want peace, prepare for war." She looked forward at the road, lost in thought. "Meaning peace through strength. If you want peace, you have to fight for it."</p><p>“When’d you get that?”</p><p>"A few years ago."</p><p>“What does it mean to you?”</p><p>She looked at Jensen as he drove, "Resilience. I got it after a dark point in my life. When I didn't see a light and the world felt like my battle zone." She took a deep breath. "It reminds me that life, no matter who you are, how much money you have, or abundance you gain, will always figure out a way to fuck you. It’s easy to fall into a depression and believe that life is unfair to you and only you. To fall melancholy to the hopelessness of it all. But, nope, It’s like that for everyone. It’s just the natural order to things. It’s all about the journey. It also reminds me of my failures and how I need to grow.” She finished looking out the passenger window.</p><p>"You're a very deep person. You know that?"</p><p>“So, I’ve been told.”</p><p>Jensen moves his right hand off the wheel, balancing his driving with his left. He moved his hand over to Charlie’s knee, squeezing it. He was no doubt trying to mend the underlining tension between them as they sat inches apart, both feeling the allegorical elephant in the car.</p><p>Charlie put her hand on his, squeezing it, and Jensen intertwined their fingers, making her look at him. She shifted her weight in her seat, moving to face him as he drove, watching him.</p><p>“How long did you want to stay?” she asked.</p><p>"Doesn't matter. I just have to make sure Jared gets home and to the airport by 8:30 tomorrow morning. What about you? I kinda get a feeling you don't want to go."</p><p>"No, I want to. I just feel tired. Or don't have the energy… one of the two. I don't care when we leave. I'll drive back too. So, you can drink with your boys. If that's what you're planning."</p><p>“Calliope Maeson,” he said, making her look at him, thrown off.</p><p>She wasn't expecting him to say her first name. The straightforward manner in which he did it gave her goosebumps. Jensen smiled, knowing he got her attention. He knew what that would do to her. That's what he wanted.  "Are you trying to manipulate me into getting drunk so you can take advantage of me?"</p><p>She stared at him for a few seconds, still thrown off. “Uhh, No.” she clears her throat. “Though that is tempting… I just want you to have a good time. I know Jared plans on letting loose. I’ll probably just hang out with Mags and the girls the whole night. Feelin’ like I need some girl time. Let the men be men.” She shot him a look, and he chuckled.</p><p>Charlie began to think about how awkward seeing Misha will be after knowing what she knew. She didn't see him differently, not really, just the same with Jensen. She wasn't even remotely surprised to find out about his sexual fluidity. Jensen, sure, <em>yes.</em> Misha, <em>no.</em> She picked up on his laid-back nature early on. Considering his fiery devotion to LGBTQ communities. His resolute and outspoken manner of defending those who are too frightened to be themselves in a world that tells them they don’t belong. She loved that about Misha.</p><p>She had to admit she liked the idea of possibly opening up to him about Jensen and other things. In all honesty, she wasn’t going to feel comfortable talking about this to Maggie. Even though the knowledge of which made her upset. She told Maggie everything, but Maggie was dating Olivia, and that could complicate things.</p><p>The whole situation made Charlie more and more curious. Misha slept with Jensen. <strong><em>Or Jensen slept with Misha?</em></strong> What that entailed, she didn't know. She could only assume he probably experienced Jensen. Tasted him. Felt him, all of him. He must have no doubt, falling victim, to his Ackles charm. Never even standing a chance. They shared that. Which made Charlie curious as to what their dynamic would be in the bedroom. Jensen made it seem like Misha was this full-on flip the script freak. <strong><em>So, does that mean he’s the overassertive one? But if Jensen was on top, would that make him the assertive one. Wait- no. Stop it, Charlie. Don’t you even go down that road.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie knew the dynamic between her and Jensen changed, but so did the dynamic between her and Misha. Because well, he was technically her boss, and because Misha was Jensen’s friend. But she had a bone to pick with him. He brought her to Vancouver under a false pretense, kind of, with the intent of hiring her. He failed to inform her of his very twisted and deep-rooted love <em>square</em> with Jensen, Danneel, and Vicky. All the while continuing his attempts to get Charlie to sign on to Random acts, as she falls into an even farther complicated relationship with his best friend.</p><p>“So, you do projects and stuff?" Jensen asked, pulling Charlie from her thoughts.</p><p>"What?” she asked, having not really heard him. Too lost in thought.</p><p>"You do projects you don't want your name apart of?"</p><p>"Oh," she let out, realizing what he was asking. "I have a lot of creative friends, I try to help out from time to time.”</p><p>"Yes, I know."</p><p>“Just collaborations, though. I've been Maggie's subject a few times for her photography. And yes. A friend of mine did a low budget indie film a few years back. I helped out.”</p><p>"So, you've acted?" he asked, interest piqued.</p><p>"Sure, I guess."</p><p>"You guess?” He laughs. “What was it called?”</p><p>"Complex," she said, looking out the window.</p><p>“What was it about?”</p><p>"Jungian Depth Psychology."</p><p>“Umm… what?"</p><p>Charlie laughed, "Carl Jung." Jensen looked at her like he didn't know what she was talking about, "He was a famous swiss psychologist who founded psychoanalysis and a bunch of other things.” He shrugged at her, still not knowing who or what he was. Charlie shook her head and chuckled. "Read a book, Ackles." Joking, and he smiles at her. "Guess, in a lot of ways you can even thank him. Might not be where you are today if not for Jung. Oh, what a world that would be.”</p><p>“And, how's that?”</p><p>“He's not very talked-about but, he's very much influential in today's society. Including, Supernatural. He was the guy who deeply influenced people like Joseph Campbell. Who later strongly influenced artists like Jim Morrison and Mister George Lucas.” Jensen nods his head, now knowing what she meant, "Sam and Dean are parallels to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. George Lucas based his characters and character arcs around Campbell's concept, The Hero's Journey. Campbell based his concept on Jung’s work. It’s all about psychology, my man.”</p><p>“You’re really fuckin’ smart, aren’t you?"</p><p>"Not really. I just read a lot.”</p><p>“Somehow, I kinda doubt that…So, the movie?</p><p>"It was nothing, really. I played myself. I had no premise in the context of the story. I did it to help a friend. She spent years bringing it to life in her own eyes, so I did a consult. She asked me to help, so I did. No one was going to see the movie. Well, no one past a bunch of film nerds. So, I didn’t mind. It was actually kinda cool.”</p><p>“And your name?”</p><p>"Do you need to know it?” she asked nervously, not really wanting to tell him. Jensen nods firmly. “Rosi. Calliope Rosi. It’s my mom’s maiden name.”<br/>
“One day, we're going to sit down, and you're going to tell me all your little secrets."</p><p>Charlie laughed. "Sorry to disappoint, I don’t have <em>many</em> secrets, Jensen. For the most part, I'm an open book. I'm sure there are things I don't necessarily want you to know, but I think communication and transparency are important. Whatever it is, you'll learn eventually but nothing that effect’s our relationship.”</p><p>"Can't help but feel like that's a jab at the fact that I kept Misha and I's relationship from you."</p><p>“It wasn’t.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Jensen looked at her, trying to read her face while also trying to keep his eyes on the road.</p><p>She sighed. "I don't think you were keeping it a secret. Not really. You didn't wait months or years. You waited a pretty decent amount of time. To know you were comfortable enough with me knowing. If anything, I respect you for it. That you were open and honest, I know it wasn't easy for you to tell me."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, amazed he found her, that <em>he </em>got to have her. This amazingly unique human being. The two fell into a silence as he finished driving to Misha’s house.</p><p>Pulling into Misha’s driveway, they quickly parked. Getting out of the car, they could hear laughing and music coming from the back of the house.</p><p>“Hey,” Jensen says, holding her. “Are we okay?”</p><p>“Before we're swept up, in our night, how about you talk to me. What are you scared of, Jensen?”</p><p>The two stood, tangled together under the moon light.</p><p>"That, what I told you was a deal-breaker, and you’re trying to figure a way out.”</p><p>"I don't think I have to figure that out, Jay. I have a pretty good opportunity tomorrow.”</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>"Can I get some credit here? I am more open-minded and patient than you’re giving me credit for. You opened up to me about your jealousy, and I didn't scorn you for it.” <strong><em>It was actually kinda hot.</em></strong></p><p>"No, you are perfectly open-minded and patient, and everything in between, but even you have your limits…”</p><p>"You think that’s a limit? We do what gets us through the day. I understand. I understand all of it.”</p><p>He shrugged. "I guess I honestly don’t know what to think.”</p><p>"So stop thinking." She pulls his face to hers, colliding their lips, taking him into a deep kiss. This time Charlie put her all into it, showing him she didn't care. She was staying; she was here. She wasn't going to leave him. Technically. Not in the way that matters.</p><p>Jensen pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, diving his tongue into her mouth. Charlie moaned into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly to her. She took his lower lip between her teeth, pulling it. Making Jensen grunt as he begins to breathe hot and heavy. She moved her lips to his chin, leaving wet kisses. Working her hands into his hair, pulling it. His head falls back for her, exposing his neck.</p><p>“I need to know you’re mine too.” She says against his skin, needing to hear him say it.</p><p>“I am yours, Charlie. If that wasn’t already obvious.”</p><p>"Then, I promise you. You have nothing to worry about. I'm in this. It takes a lot more than that to get me to walk away. I’d be an idiot to let something so stupid make me walk away from you, baggage and all, Jensen. You're amazing, and If I haven't said it yet, I’m very grateful I met you. Please don't take me being down as me slowly removing myself. If I was done, trust me, I would have said it. I'm not. I’m not going to string you along, either. But even you have to admit you’re a little bit of a harlot there, Ackles." He laughed. "You're lucky I'm not the jealous type. I'd be fucked. If I ever meet Vicky and Danneel, it’s going to be a different level of awkward.” Charlie says, trying to bring light to the situation.</p><p>Jensen laughs at her words, knowing she was partially right.</p><p>“I just want you to be you.” She adds, grabbing his hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”</p><p>They walked around to the backyard of Misha’s house, towards the loud music and distant chatter. Misha and Maggie saw them arrive, screaming drunkenly as Charlie and Jensen walked towards them. Jensen got closer to Charlie as they walked, taking her hand in his, reaching where everyone was.</p><p>"Finally!" Maggie shouts. "I've only been waiting all night. I hope you left her some energy. We’re going to be partying tonight.”</p><p>“And, you're drunk," Charlie replies, a little embarrassed. As Charlie watched her friend, she could see Misha watching her at the corner of her eyes. She could feel it, but she was avoiding looking at him. Looking would mean he would know, and she didn’t want to deal with that right now.</p><p>“Where’s Jared?” Jensen asked Misha. “He never got back to me.”</p><p>“He went inside with Ruth and Olivia," Misha replied, still watching Charlie. Jensen nodded, looking around. He moves to whisper into Charlie's ear.</p><p>“I’m gonna go find Jared. I just want to make sure he’s okay. I’ll be right back.” Charlie nods, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”</p><p>Jensen cradles her face giving her a tender kiss. Misha and Maggie both 'awe' them, and the two just stare at them with unsmiling faces.</p><p>“Probably wanna hold their drinks for a little.”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“I’ll be back,” he said, giving her another quick peck before disappearing into the house.</p><p>Charlie turned her attention to the group, saying hello and hanging with the gang. Taking the time to sit down and talk to everyone since meeting the boys. As she spoke with Briana, Kim, and Osric, Charlie could feel Misha watching her. She was avoiding him a bit. Just avoiding the awkwardness, she knew would come. She was also nervous about flirting with him. Jensen’s words ringing in her head. She knew she needed to bite the bullet. When she felt him looking again, she finally let their eyes meet. Charlie doesn't shy away, giving Misha a humorous smile. She got up, walking over to him, and bumping him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Hiya, Mish,” she let out with a smirk.</p><p>"Charlotte," he replied with a nod, a bit loopy.</p><p>She playfully rolled her eyes at his insistence to call her Charlotte, even though he knew she hated it. The two sat together joking around and talking for some time, while also staying with the group. Not touching on the salacious bit of information Charlie learned earlier today. She was enjoying his drunken banter, but also stayed back a bit. <em>Fear of flirting on her mind.</em> All the while pretending like everything was normal, playing the part in front of everyone. At some point, they were going to have a conversation, a very long, detailed, and thoroughly conversed conversation.</p><p>As the night went on, everyone laughed and talked about old times. Maggie and Charlie add tidbits from their friendship, and everyone else dished about memories made on set or conventions over the last 15 years.</p><p> Later, Jensen comes up from behind Charlie. He grabbed her waist, moving his hands up, digging his face into her neck. His smell of whiskey, cologne, and pheromones, a dangerous mixture. She smacks his hands away from her chest and laughs from his giddiness. Apparently, when Jensen got tipsy, Jensen got handsy.</p><p>Whoever was not aware they were together, was made aware now. Kim and Briana smiled, being somewhat knowledgeable, having seen them flirt and walk off together that night at the bar. Throughout the night they stayed close. When Charlie moved, Jensen moved. When Jensen moved, Charlie moved.  Both in perfect unison with one another, not wanting to miss a beat or touch.</p><p>At the end of the night, as people began to head home, Jensen, more sobered up, says good night to the others still there. Charlie goes to find Jared, offering to take him home, which he accepted. She made sure to say bye to Misha. Giving him a tight squeeze and kiss on the cheek. Jensen watches the two closely. No doubt noticing the unspoken communications between the two.</p><p>Jared, Jensen and Charlie eventually headed off towards the city. After dropping Jared off, they got back to his apartment with an unspoken quietness between them. Neither knew what to say or do to make everything feel easier. After quickly getting ready for bed, they slid into each other's arms for the last time, both squeezing the other as tight as possible, needing to feel close. Charlie, resting against his chest, and Jensen taking in the smell of her hair.</p><p>Hours later, early into the morning, Charlie slowly began moving. Extending her hand towards Jensen's spot on the bed, expecting him to be there. Feeling it empty, she wakes immediately. Looking around and seeing complete darkness. Grabbing at her phone on the nightstand, checking the time.</p><p>--5:17AM—</p><p>She jumped out of bed and walked into the next room, looking for Jensen. She began to panic when she doesn’t immediately find him. As she continued to look, Charlie sees him on the balcony with his laptop. Her body relaxes, finally knowing he didn’t leave her while she was sleeping. For a second, she wanted to give him space, just in case he was doing something important, but she missed him already. Walking to the sliding door of the balcony and opening it, she quietly makes herself known. Jensen pulls his eyes away from the computer screen, seeing Charlie in her t-shirt and shorts, simple and perfect.</p><p>“Hey. I’m sorry. I was trying not to wake you," Jensen says in a low husky voice.</p><p>“Hi. It's okay," Charlie smiles back.</p><p>He moved his laptop out of the way, inviting her to sit on his lap. She immediately complied, resting her head on his shoulder.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Charlie asked.</p><p>“Just getting caught up on some stuff. Cliff will be here in a few hours.”</p><p>“I just want to hold you till you leave. Is that okay?"</p><p>“Fine by me.”</p><p>He moves his head down to meet her lips, wrapping his arms tightly around her. He worked on his laptop and she sat silently looking out over the city or up at the moon. He leaves kisses on her cheek and neck every once in a while.</p><p>Randomly, she began to smile and chuckled to herself.</p><p>“What’s funny?”</p><p>“Just thinking about the show.”</p><p> “What about it?”</p><p>“Realizing I’ll have to finish watching 13 seasons just to get my kicks.”</p><p>Jensen chuckled. “Doesn’t seem fair, that’s a lot of material.”</p><p>She laughs back. “I don't know what to tell you, baby, gonna have me strung out.”</p><p>He laughs again, into her neck, giving her goosebumps. “I’m going to miss your silliness…. Your laugh. Making it hard to hold back."</p><p>“Why do you need to hold back?”</p><p>“Because as much as I would love to have you right here and now… I feel like we need to feel this. I also feel like we need to take sex off the table for the time being. I know the need and desire between us was mutual and something we couldn’t deny, but-” Jensen rubs his nose against hers. "I don’t want it to feel like it’s just sex.”</p><p>"But it's good, amazing, mind-blowing sex." She jokingly pouts. “Besides, I don’t think it’s just sex. Are you saying there is no merit to our relationship besides sex?”</p><p>"No. Of course, there’s more. I love everything outside of the sex. Including the sex."</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>He smiles. “I mean, take your pick. You're caring. You care about others. Especially your own. I’ve had a few conversations with Maggie." Charlie's eyes narrow, wondering what they could have talked about, "Tasteful, I promise. It was after we went out and spent the night together. She threatened to kick my ass if I hurt you. She not only adores you; she very much respects you. You take care of her too. You brought her here to help her out. You take care of your family, even though, in my personal opinion, hearing what I hear, I understand I don't know them and have not met them, they treat you like shit. Mainly because you know it’s the right thing to do. Which I respect. You're compassionate and gentle. I was hooked at first glance because <em>you are beautiful</em>. But it was more than that for me. You have this natural beauty. None of that ostentatious need to wear makeup, overdo your hair, or wear flashy shit. You have values and standards. But then, I went to the office that night. I brought Jared to you." Charlie smiles, remembering. "The way you were with him. Most people don’t like to be hugged by some huge dude or stranger. You welcomed him and embraced him. You’re compassion and open nature with him. That was the moment that solidified me. Even the way you are with Misha.”</p><p>Charlie's face fell, remembering everything again, but mainly the part about her flirting with Misha. Jensen looked, seeing her reaction. "Nothing like that. I love Misha because of how eccentric he is. He doesn’t give a shit what people think. He doesn’t apologize for who he is. But he’s also a very passionate, outspoken, strong-willed, altruistic and hilarious person. You match that. I was instantly smitten because on top of everything else, you were funny, smart, quick-witted, and compassionate. But then we kissed, and this frenzy began. This overpowering need to have you in my existence. Every part of you. Having sex with you just intensified that. I haven't felt this connected to someone in a long time."</p><p>"Really? You wait until you have to leave me to say all this. The fuck, Ackles?"</p><p>“It was my secret weapon. Needed to make sure I gave you a reason to come back to me.”</p><p>"You've already got that in the bag, dude. Stop torturing me."</p><p>Jensen laughs and kisses her cheek. “We’ll be okay.” He tightens his hold on her for reassurance.</p><p>“I guess,” she says, feeling content with his warmth around her.</p><p>“I was thinking we could go to breakfast before I leave.”<br/>
She shook her head, “I don’t want to go to breakfast. I want to stay in our little bubble as long as possible.</p><p>“Okay. You just want to lay here till I leave?”</p><p>"I want you to talk to me.”</p><p>“About?”</p><p>“Everything.”</p><p>"What do you wanna know?"</p><p>Charlie and Jensen sat and talked to each other about their past, things they still wanted to do, mistakes they have made, and people that have come and gone. Charlie made Jensen breakfast, feeling bad she selfishly kept him in the house. After, Jensen got ready to head back home and relaxed until it was time for him to go.</p><p><strong>“Can</strong> I ask you one last thing?” he asked.</p><p>"Of course,” she said as they laid down on the couch, facing each other.</p><p>Jensen points to the necklace. “Why the change?”</p><p>Charlie grabs at the gold name around her neck. She shrugged, thinking about her answer. “You want the short answer, or the long answer?”</p><p>“Long, I guess.”</p><p>"I kinda have a thing for necklaces. My mother used to tell me chains were the conduit to the soul. She always made me believe, whatever hangs closest to your heart will never die. You see it, reminded of it, and it channels your focus. When I was little, she bought me this small-sized Emerald stone necklace carved into a heart." She laughs, thinking back at the memory. "I was a really big Titanic fan. I made her take me to the theater so many times after the movie came out. That’s all I wanted for Christmas. We were together that Christmas, and right before I went back home, she gave me that necklace. It’s one of the few good moments with her. Moments I channel in times when she pisses me off." She looked back at Jensen. "As I got older, I didn't care for it anymore. Sort of lost hope, I guess. With her anyway. But when my dad began to get sick, and the person he was, slowly faded, I needed something to ground me. Remind me. This did. Same thing with the ring. Kinda coming to the conclusion that I need to move on. It’s been a long time coming. But if I’m ever going to get closure from that part of my past, I’m going to have to be the one to give it. So I went back to the basics. I need to find that Charlie again.”</p><p>Jensen heard the chime of his phone. It was Cliff, letting him know he was downstairs. Charlie's heart fell, feeling the weight of knowing he would be gone in a couple of minutes. They pressed their foreheads together one last time before Jensen got up, going into his bedroom, and grabbing his luggage. He walks over to Charlie, now standing in the kitchen next to the door. He pulled her into a tight embrace, and she could feel the walls she held all morning fall as tears began to form in her eyes.</p><p>“Look at me.” She moves her eyes to his, “I’ll call you when I get to the airport? Feel free to have Maggie over.”</p><p>She nods, “Thank you.”</p><p>“Maybe, if things go right…we can meet before the concert. Yeah?”</p><p>Charlie just keeps nodding, unable to speak words knowing the only thing that will come out are sobs.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” she finally says when he waited for an actual response.</p><p>“It’s okay. I feel the same.”</p><p>“You’re not crying.”</p><p>“Yet.” Jensen softly soothes her cheek and Charlie laughs. “I will call you; we will talk. Let us just get through this weekend.”</p><p>She takes a deep breath, swallowing her emotions, putting them on the shelf for when he left. “Get on your plane. Go see your daughter. Hold her and love her. Don’t worry about me.”</p><p>She looks at his lips, memorizing their curves and moves to press her lips against them. She wasn’t trying to deepen the moment, just trying to feel his warm, delicate lips against hers one last time. The two shared an intoxicating farewell kiss. There wasn't need; there was declaration, and it wasn't lust but admiration.</p><p>Both hear the chime coming from his back pocket again. Pressing their foreheads against one another again. “Are you going to be okay?” He asks.</p><p>Charlie nods against him. "I'm okay," she said, reassuring him.</p><p>They both straighten up, and Charlie walks Jensen to his front door, opening it for him and holding it open as he hung in the doorway.</p><p>“I’ll call you when I get home. Okay?” Leaning down again to give her one last peck, very tenderly.</p><p>“Okay.” She began lightly pushing him backward, or else he'll never start walking. "You're going to be late. You still have to get through security." Jensen nods.</p><p>“Later, Maeson.” He smiles his crooked smile at her melting her heart.</p><p>”Later, Ackles.”</p><p>Jensen finally turned to walk down the hall to the elevator. Charlie watches him take his final step into it, waving goodbye.</p><p>When he was gone, she stepped back into the apartment, closing the door behind her. She turns around to face the empty apartment and finally allows herself to crumble. Everything she was holding back, hits her hard. Putting her hands over her face and sliding down against the door, she instantly begins to cry. Completely alone and completely overcome.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. From The Edge of The Deep Green Sea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie sat on the floor, looking over Jensen’s still and quiet apartment. Letting every emotion and thought that was suppressed, overlooked, or ignored over the past two weeks come to the surface. This wasn't just about Jensen leaving it was also everything else.</p><p>When she touched down in Vancouver that fateful Monday, she was a fairly oblivious and malcontent female, traumatized by past relationships and family, settling with a life of work and passivity. She spent years watching others fulfill their dreams, leaving hers on the back burner because of sheer fear of rejection and failure. Giving her hand to friends and family, hoping to fill some hole in herself.</p><p>Accepting that at the end of the day, she was an honest person and worked hard. She succeeded in a way where she depended on no one. Completely financially self-sufficient and making every attempt possible to be unemotional, not wanting to have her heartbroken again. She worked hard and sold her contentment to say she had everything and could have everything she ever needed, and she did it all by herself. She took care of her mother, even though she was a stressor, because it was the right thing to do. But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter.</p><p>She wasn’t happy. After losing Matt, Charlie was a shell. She was broken, again, but far worse than ever before. Afraid to love, let anyone in, or even live. She fell into a hole of self-loathing and loss of hope. The years following, she settled into her place in life. She would never be a wife, or a mother, an artist, or free spirit. She tried that stuff, time and time again, and the end result showed, it was never in the cards for her. She just wasn't going to have that fairy tale ending that little girls are warped into believing they’ll get.</p><p>In the end, she settled for a sustaining profession. Paying her well, giving her freedom to have a decent work-life balance. Going to school for something she didn’t really want but knew it would allot her stability in the end.</p><p>Charlie settled with knowing she would never find another man that would love her the way she needed to be loved. But for the longest time, she refused to settle for a love that only flourished because she was too scared to be alone. Having done it twice, she wasn't doing it again.</p><p>So, when Charlie walked into that Warner Brothers set, thinking it was a regular Monday. Thinking she was just meeting with talent or a Hollywood personality. She thought he was just going to be another altruistic actor hell-bent on filling some hole inside their heart or reputation. But he wasn't. They weren't. She was really very surprised to find herself reacting in a way she never has to another man. Especially a man she never ever thought would even remotely acknowledge her. She never thought, in a million years, he or anyone in his caliber would ever look at her.</p><p>When Maggie advised her to take advantage of an opportunity so many people would kill for, Charlie was hesitant. But the ease and comfort she felt in Jensen, unlike any other, she felt inclined to listen to her whimsical friend. And now, here she was. Pressed up against a door, crying after spending the last two weeks being enamored. The rest of her life, slowly being pulled apart and her with it.</p><p>Back at the apartment, Charlie continued to release everything she was holding in. After a few minutes, she finally composed herself. She got up and walked to the bedroom, looking at the bed where Jensen usually laid and felt a twinge of sadness again.</p><p>"This is going to be a long 25 days," she said to herself.</p><p>She went into the bathroom, getting a shower, letting the tension and anxiety wash away temporarily. Dressing comfortably for a day of settling on the couch with her laptop and playing Supernatural as she worked.</p><p>She reached out to the friends she recruited for the event. Giving them an update on the Friday meeting with everyone and what to expect going forward. Scheduling things with her realtor in Arizona. She called the property manager for their apartment to change the passcode to the elevator and front entrance. Just doing little things, trying to distract herself.</p><p>The rest of the day, she worked, at some point, making plans with Maggie to get to the airport in the morning. She finally got a call from Jensen, letting her know he was home and with his daughter. His call calmed her, and the two spoke on the phone for a short while before Charlie became tired, and Jensen had to go be a father.</p><p>Charlie settled down for the night, cleaning up his apartment as she went, and was in bed by seven o’clock. Laying on Jensen’s side of the bed, trying to smell his pillow and immerse herself in it. Laying there feeling a different and even deeper sense of being alone. She faded in and out, gazing at the night sky.</p><p>Barely able to sleep, she was up at three in the morning, before her alarm, getting a jump start to her day. She got everything together, getting breakfast and heading to the airport to drop off the rental. She got through security and walked straight to the gate to wait for Maggie.</p><p>When Maggie finally got there, ten minutes before they had to board, Charlie could see how upset she was. They both hugged each other, feeling the emotions that came with leaving this place and going back home to reality. They took a deep breath together, stepping on the plane with hope for whatever comes, landing at Sea-Tac airport less than two hours later.</p><p>Taking a shared lyft to their place, the two ladies rushed back to the apartment to get on the zoom meeting with the team. Everyone was updated on plans. Charlie pitched an idea for Jared's campaign, which he was ecstatic about. She introduced her art friends who were contributing to the event, providing volunteer event photography and music acts. Everyone was given their duties and possible schedules, which needed confirmation by the next team meeting. Things were beginning to be set in motion for the first festival in January.</p><p>After the meeting, Charlie talked on the phone with Misha and his team. Going over everything discussed, solidifying plans for logistics and legal. She thought it would be awkward or weird, trying to be normal around Misha in a professional setting, but it wasn’t. It was a normal conversation, with no awkward silences.</p><p>She was upset to learn she needed to be present as the contracts were signed. Kathy was going to be present for her company’s contributions, but so was Beau. Adding insult to injury, everyone was scheduled to meet in Vancouver in six weeks, after all the details for all events have been finalized. Unfortunately, everyone, included Jensen. Meaning Jensen, <em>may, </em>meet Beau, but Charlie had to see him.</p><p>As a representative for MAP and the direct coordinating executive, she needed to be there. After the details and planning for the events were confirmed, Charlie would be done with the account. <strong><em>Six more weeks.</em></strong></p><p>After hanging up with everyone, she headed to the office for her meeting with the board. When she got to the building and parked her car, she felt apprehensive. Waiting for the elevator, she checked her messages, realizing there were a few from Jensen.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen: I love watching you work and be all professional. It’s so sexy. 😈 God, I miss you already.</p><p>Jensen: Good luck with your meeting. Remember to take it easy and stand your ground. 😉 I’ll keep my phone on me, just in case you call.  </p><p> </p><p>The simple gesture and his words gave her calm. These were his attempts at making her smile, and it worked. She smiled to herself and shook her head at his sweetness as she stepped onto the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: Well, thank you for the professional analysis, dually noted. 😈 I miss you too. And thanks for the pick me up. Smile achieved. Have a nice day at work. I’ll be thinking about you.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie stepped onto her floor, seeing a few glances as she walked through the cubicles and desks to her office. She said good morning to Celeste as she passed, having a small talk with her before walking into her office, closing the door behind her.</p><p>She had twenty minutes before the meeting. Charlie went through her binders and computer, getting information and files she thought she might need. Her phone chimed with a response from Jensen.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen: Fun and dirty thoughts, I hope.</p><p>Charlie: Hmm. The fun and dirtiest. 😈</p><p> </p><p>She texted back, then thought of something to add effect.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: [SHE TEXTED WHILE BITING HER LOWER LIP, KNOWING IT WOULD HAVE AN EFFECT ON HIM IF HE WERE THERE. HER LEGS SQUEEZED TIGHTLY SHUT UNDER THE LONG TABLE, THINKING ABOUT HIM TOUCHING HER, AS SHE WAITED FOR THE BOARD MEETING TO BEGIN.] 😉</p><p> </p><p>Charlie smiles to herself, leaving him with that, knowing it was super cheesy, but It would totally mess him up. Reading the words and seeing the imagery. <strong><em>He’s an actor and director, he lives by screen direction.</em></strong> Just as she sent the text, she got a call from Sophia telling her the conference was about to begin.</p><p>Charlie stood from her seat, taking a deep breath, fixing her dress, and walking to the door. Smiling to herself again, thinking about the text she just sent to Jensen. <strong><em>Playing with him is fun.</em></strong></p><p>She got to Richard's office, turning the corner, to find the whole board she knew over the years and three new faces. They sat all around the long conference table. She walked over to the far end, which was intentionally left open for her. sitting down and straightening herself before looking at them. She doesn't say a word and just waits for them to begin. <strong><em>They called the meeting, so they speak.</em></strong></p><p>A man with silver hair looked over at Richard and Valerie before looking at Charlie.</p><p>“Well, I guess I will begin.” Charlie turned her gaze to him and let him speak. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Klaus Matthews. I am the acting chief executive officer of-”</p><p>“I know who you are," Charlie said, interrupting him, not really feeling the antics. He looked at her with wide eyes, not expecting that.</p><p>"Okay, well. On behalf of our team at Howyne, we want to thank you for your hard work. We feel this branch and company will not be where it is if not for your team's dedication. Because of this, we are looking at a smooth transition in the communications and marketing area, going into the merger.”</p><p>“Okay,” Charlie said, blatant. </p><p>“Also, we would like to formally apologize for the level of disrespect you experienced earlier this week. Please know, none of this was ever our intention. Mr. Ryan will be reprimanded. I can assure you.”</p><p>Charlie just stared at him, and he looked over at the other board members again.</p><p>"That being said, we are willing to grant you the position of Executive Director of all branches.”</p><p>Charlie looked down at her stapled papers, feeling the small but short-lived moment of confirmation. She wanted to hear those words for so long because she deserved it, but she didn’t want it anymore. She didn’t see any coming back from this.</p><p>Charlie looked at Richard, thinking, and he avoided eye contact with her. She nodded. That's all she needed from him, to say what she was about to say. Turning her undivided attention to Mr. Matthews.</p><p>"I appreciate the acknowledgment, as well as the job offer. If that’s what, you’ll consider this. I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances, Mr. Matthews. Under better circumstances, I’m sure I would have loved working under you. That being said, I have to decline your offer.”</p><p>“Charlotte.” Richard objects. “You have been asking for this.”</p><p>"Yes, I was, for a long time. And it took me being harassed, embarrassed, belittled and ignored for years to say, I'm done. But you know that. That's why you're doing this, right? You don’t want to lose me? You didn’t care. None of you did. Not really. When I signed onto this job, I did it because it made me feel like I was, helping, in some way. I was naïve. I thought I was providing a service that would make the world a better place. Somewhere in the years, we fell from that. We expanded, and we took advantage of good people for the political and financial gain of this company."</p><p>"Charlotte, we are a nonprofit. We don't focus on revenue."</p><p>She chuckled. "Yeah, that's the title line… Being a nonprofit does not negate you from profit. If you work it right, and you have, you can make an insurmountable amount of profit. While also providing a service that aligns with the mission statement. It encourages you to use that title for advantages, and you step on the back of your workers with no regard." Charlie turned her gaze back to Mr. Matthews. “Mr. Matthews, I know who you are. I know about your organization. I have heard great things, and I hope they all are true. But let me give you a word of wisdom. They are agreeing to a buyout because they can’t keep employees. They have people doing <em>a lot</em> of jobs, myself included, because the turnover in this place is ridiculous, and responsibility has to fall on someone… just not them."</p><p>“Charlotte, this is something that can be discussed at another time.”</p><p>“No. You’re not going to downplay me anymore, Richard. I’m done. Going forward, I will finish out the remainder of my accounts. My current and only current accounts. I will finish my jobs and duties. After that, please accept my resignation.”</p><p>"Charlie. Please," Valerie said, standing and getting closer to the table in objection. Charlie looked at her and shook her head, looking at Mr. Matthews again. </p><p>"I have gathered all information I need to prove the profit I have personally brought to this company. Based on my contract, I am allowed to resign at any time. At which time, I will be compensated the negotiated percentage of revenue I brought to the company.”</p><p>"You want a buyout?"</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“That’s not going to happen.”</p><p>"That is unfortunate." She said, and she opened the papers in front of her, passing them to the members next to her and making them pass it down. "In addition to my employment terms and contract. I am currently working with twenty-two organizations all over the US. Nine of which have agreed to end their business with you and contract with me personally to complete their accounts."</p><p>“You can’t do that.” </p><p>"I can." She said hard and stern. "I made sure I could. I am a marketing director, not the executive director. Those accounts are not legally contracted to us because Derrick, again does not do his job and leaves me with the okay on everything. However, in my official position, I can only get legal involved after the work is complete and the client gives the okay themselves. Therefore, they can pull funding at any time.” Charlie looked at Richard. "And you know who signed off on my contract…? Derrick. Because none of you ever thought I would leave, so you never bothered to resist anything I wanted as a safety net." She says with a smile. " I hoped this day would never come, but I prepared for it. And after Monday… well. <em>I'm done.</em> This organization no longer aligns with my personal goals, or morals, for that matter.”</p><p>Charlie stood up and began to walk away, then stopped dead in her tracks and turned to them. "Oh, by the way, a few of the nine organizations that you may potentially lose should you attempt to reenact on your contract… take up a major contribution of funding this fiscal year. Far more than what I am asking for. So, you might want to think strongly about which is the better decision. I am not doing this for money. I'm merely proving a point. Treat your people better, because they will leave. Whatever you offer, I will accept. Especially considering the profit earned after my leave may fall significantly. It is not my intention to bring this organization down, but I will no longer hold it up.” She finished and walked out the door.</p><p>Charlie walked straight to her office. Grabbing all the files and documents she needed for the week, and left. She drove back home, leaving everything in the car. When she got to the apartment, entering the front door. She saw Maggie sitting on her desk working and finally dropped to her knees at the steps, feeling heavy and weighed down.</p><p>Maggie ran to her. "Oh my god, Charlie?! Are you okay?" She kneeled to the ground, checking her friend and bringing her into an embrace as Charlie began to cry. </p><p>“I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m sorry.” Charlie said, in between sobs. She begins to hyperventilate, and she puts her hands on her chest, feeling for her necklace, trying to slow her breathing.</p><p>“Charlie, what’s wrong?” Maggie asked freaking out.</p><p>“I-I think…” she tries to speak. “I’m…I think I’m having a panic attack.” Charlie lets out sobbing, trying to breathe in deeply.</p><p>Maggie pulls her close again, rocking her back and forth, trying to calm her down. “It’s okay, love. I’m here. It’s okay.”</p><p>Maggie soothed her as she slowly calmed down. When Charlie finally pulled away, she wiped her tears, looking at Maggie timidly. </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>Charlie took a final deep breath and nodded her head. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. I was just holding everything in.” She sniffles. </p><p>“I know. God, I’ve been so wrapped up in Derrick and now Olivia, I forgot to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry. I should have been paying attention to everything going on.”</p><p>“You’re okay. I just… I quit MAP.” she said just staring at the floor. </p><p>“What?!” Maggie asked, surprised, a huge smile written across her face.</p><p>“I had to, Mags. I couldn’t handle it anymore.”</p><p>“No, I get it. I beyond get why you quit. It’s more so, that fact that you quit. I bet Derrick is going to have a field day when he finds out.”</p><p>Charlie chuckled. “I forgot about him.”</p><p>“Yeah, he’s pretty forgettable,” Maggie said, trying to lighten her friend’s mood. Charlie looked at Maggie. “Did you talk to him?”</p><p>“This morning, on the phone. Yeah. Just wanted to get it out of the way.”</p><p>“What did he say?”</p><p>“He full on admitted to everything. We talked about us. He apologized and wanted me back but… no. I think being in Vancouver and meeting Olivia made it possible for me to finally walk away.”</p><p>“Just be careful, Mags. Olivia seems like a cool chick. Be mindful and honest of how you actually feel and not necessarily just …rebounding.”</p><p>“I know. I was front with her, she didn’t care. Being particularly careful to the fact that she’s Misha’s assistant… but we’re taking it for what it is. It was kinda unexpected…How’s everything with your boo, by the way? Mr. Dreamy.” Maggie said, fluttering her eyes.</p><p>Charlie smiled, looking at her. “They’re okay.”</p><p>“Just okay?”</p><p>“No. No, they’re good. They’re great. He’s… great.” She said, flushed. “I just… I’m trying to keep him at bay right now, emotionally. He’s in Texas with his kid and I’m here. We're fine. I’m fine.”</p><p>“Right. You realize you sound like you’re convincing yourself that, more than you are telling me. Why don’t you just go back to Vancouver? Be there when he gets back.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you stay in Vancouver, yourself?”</p><p>Maggie’s head jerked back; she had a valid point. “Because I had to come back to my life. We have plans to see each other.”</p><p>“Exactly. I need to figure stuff out. I just resigned and you are moving out soon.”</p><p>“You don’t know that.”</p><p>Charlie gave her a sharp look. “Please…” She rolled her eyes. “I’m also selling a house. Which is becoming a headache. He’s busy, getting divorced, if it ever happens, and being a father. Were still figuring things out.”</p><p>“What do you mean if?” Maggie asked, thrown off.</p><p>Charlie shrugged. “I’m a realist. He could go back to her. Not saying he is, or that he plans too. All signs point to no. But they have a kid. Who am I to stop that? I went into this knowing it was a possibility.”</p><p>Maggie nodded, not being able to argue with her. “Well, what about next weekend?”</p><p>“He has a convention somewhere in Vancouver. He asked me to go. To spend time together. Get a feel for things, but I don’t know.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I need to go home on Wednesday and get the house in order. I don’t know if I’ll be able to. The weekend after that he’s with his daughter, and family in Texas.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“I hate you.”</p><p>“What did I do?”</p><p>“You did this. You made me fall for a guy I shouldn’t fall for.”</p><p>“No, I merely made you aware of an opportunity that was placed nicely on your lap. I also may have just told you your shit. It’s not my fault you let that opportunity bump your pretty ugly’s and now you’re hooked.”</p><p>“Yes! It is!” Charlie yelled. “And yes…I am,” she said with a lower defeated tone, throwing her head back. “Fuck!”</p><p>She lifted her head up quickly to look dead at Maggie. “Stop pretending like, if you didn’t have the opportunity you wouldn’t be hooked too. Like you didn’t see this coming?” Charlie reasons.</p><p>“One, I would do him in a heartbeat. Sorry, love, but I would. But again, more of a Misha girl.” Charlie shook her head and laughed at her. <strong><em>If you only knew.</em></strong> “Two, I saw that wall you built around yourself crumbling. I saw curiosity. The way he looked at you, and the way you reacted to it. For you… that was powerful.”</p><p>“That first day?”</p><p>“Yup. You’re a pretty good judge of character, babe. I know Jensen is a good man. And trust me I get the whole divorce and distance aspect but you gotta live sometimes, Charlie. I know you’ve had a lot of heart break but for once, just let yourself have something good and not worry about what’s to come. You know that never helps.”</p><p>Charlie just nodded her head, acknowledging what Maggie had to say. Whether she saw Jensen next weekend at the convention or at the concert she needed to get her head in order before then.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Guitar Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>“Who draws the crowd,<br/>and plays so loud. <br/>Baby, it's the guitar man...<br/>Night after night,<br/>who treats you right? <br/>Baby, it's the guitar man.”<br/>- Bread (Guitar Man)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the days followed, Jensen and Charlie kept in touch. Their relationship became natural. Communication and distance, becoming easier. They even did phone and video sex, to the best Charlie could manage. She always felt awkward and giggled the whole time, and Jensen just ended up laughing at her. Which resulted in her pouting like a rejected child, and Jensen, as always, kept his stoic cool.</p><p>He attempted to persuade Charlie to attend the Vancouver SPN Convention the following weekend. She was on the fence about it. She now had a deadline to work towards. There was still a lot that needed to be handled with the SPN festivals.</p><p>That following Monday, MAP called and agreed on a small percentage payout, which Charlie accepted. She also agreed to finish all of her open accounts, granting the company well on all commissions. Her final day with MAP would be the same time she finishes with Random Acts.</p><p>Later in the week, she headed back to Arizona. Meeting with her realtor, signing off on things. Discussing actions needed before selling the house. Maintenance and restorations needed to be done before it could be put on the market. She got some information about the property that completely threw her off. Everything in the selling process was difficult because she was selling her childhood home. She knew it needed to happen, no longer able to handle the burden. That didn't make the process easier. It harbored so many memories and moments. Letting go of it was hard.</p><p>Charlie took the time to get what she could with the house handled. She reached out to her architect uncle, Ronny, for some guidance.Ronny was almost a father figure to Charlie, with him being her father's brother. He looked after Charlie when her father died. Becoming a pillar of strength she fell to over the years. Helping his niece out, he scheduled to have someone trustworthy look at the house instead of a random contractor, lifting a lot of stress off Charlie’s shoulders, which she was grateful for.</p><p>While in Arizona, Charlie got a call from Misha. When she saw his contact unexpectedly show up on her phone screen, her heart sank. The two hadn't really spoken on a personal level since she found everything out. Only having a silent conversation to themselves while Misha and Jensen were inebriated. Charlie was sober and avoidant. She was so wrapped in work, her mom, Maggie, Jensen, and keeping it all balanced, she never got around to talking to him.</p><p>Misha learned that Charlie resigned at MAP, and when Jensen wasn't at-all forthcoming about how or why, he decided to give her a call.</p><p>She answers the phone, "Good evening, Mr. Collins."</p><p>"Hi. How are you, Charlie? Hope I'm not interrupting anything. Jensen might've mentioned you were handling family stuff back home in Arizona."</p><p>"Nope. Just working on work. What's up?" She put the phone on speaker, placing it on the big desk, and going back to add the expense numbers into her computer.</p><p>“So, a little birdie might’ve informed me that you resigned from MAP.”</p><p>“Would that little birdie be Maggie or Jensen?”</p><p>“Neither. Actually, someone from MAP reached out to me about attending a charity gala in December. Apparently, you've facilitated the event every year. However, you won't be this time around because you have resigned from the organization. And when I asked Jensen about the matter, he got tight lipped and said, ‘Ask Charlie’."</p><p>"Oh," she said, looking at the phone, not knowing what to say. Misha stayed silent. "Yeah, I kinda wanted to tell you in person, possibly this weekend, and have a conversation. But, yes, I am resigning.”</p><p>"I want to be happy for you, but I have a feeling you were keeping this from me for a reason. Is this because I've been asking you to come over to Random Acts? Or-"</p><p>"The lover's plot twist with you and Jensen?" She finished with light humor in her tone. Misha didn't respond, and she sighed. "Misha, It's okay. I'm not upset about it. Besides, I thought you knew, I knew."</p><p>"Yeah. Jensen told me, but...why didn't you tell me you resigned from MAP?"</p><p>“It wasn’t against you. If that's what you're getting at," Charlie said quickly to reassure him.</p><p>“Okay?” he said with a chuckle, sounding unconvinced. </p><p> “I- I wasn’t trying to be deceptive. I just wanted to kind of handle my life before taking on a new role. You know? I have … a lot happening. And <em>a lot</em> of questions. I know the company's headquarters is in LA. Will I have to move there? Then there's the whole, I'm friends with you, I'm dating Jensen. You and Jensen … bumped ugly's, or whatever. I think. I'm not sure how it all happened, cause, well…questions. Then it's like I'm technically replacing Danneel. Vicky is a part of the board, and so is Danneel. Danneel and Jensen are still married." She rambled. “Oh, that’s right, by the way, what the fuck Misha?!” she yelled.</p><p>"You are upset? … I'm sorry, Charlie. I wasn't trying to be deceptive myself. It was just-"</p><p>"I know," she interjected. Letting out a big sigh before continuing.  "It was Jensen's place, or whatever, to tell me. I get that, but part of me avoiding your offer before even finding out about <em>everything </em>was because I didn't want it to be a conflict of interest. I didn't want to go into this in an unprofessional manner. Now I have no way in which that would be possible if I took the job. I'm too close to this and, I'm upset. I was led to believe something else entirely, and now I'm forced to either reject a good opportunity. Or what? Be that girl who took another man's husband. Or that girl that took another man's husband, friend, and job!"</p><p>“Okay, alright. Charlie. Calm down. Wait." Misha’s tone made Charlie stop and listen. "First, you are correct. I fucked up on that end. And that wasn't some manipulative attempt on my part. That was me, honestly eager to have you on our team and working around a curveball that was Jensen meeting you. If you were to take the job, please know you can take whatever time you need. There are no obligations. I appreciate your professionalism, but we're a family here. We put out into the world what we want back. And you are also right, Danneel and Vicky are on the board, but they are aware of you and have been aware of you for some time. They are also fully aware of you now. They know about you and Jensen. That hasn't changed the fact that we still want you. If you want to be included in the circle that is our family, you're welcome, but it was Jensen that had to open you up to it."</p><p>"I appreciate the offer Mish, but I'm not participating in a gang bang, no matter how nicely it's offered."</p><p>Misha laughed. “No.” He laughed some more. “I didn’t mean <em>that,</em> Charlie. I just meant it, in a sense, that we're open with each other. We communicate and support each other. Genn is on the board, and she has nothing to do with anything. But, this isn't a commune. We just work towards a cause. I'm close with a lot of the people in this company. I actually find it to be fundamentally important we need that fellowship. Not to say I've slept with them. It's only Vic and Dee, and that’s because of the life we lead outside of the company. That’s also what created the company, a shared commitment.”</p><p>“How do you make it work?”</p><p>“It’s a struggle at times, sure. We don't necessarily mix business with pleasure. We are capable of compartmentalizing ourselves. For the betterment of our day to day lives, as well as our children. When we work, we work. The <em>convoluted</em> ties amongst us, are handled outside of Random Acts, outside of our jobs. We have to. As much as Dee, Jensen, and I had our fall out, it hasn’t affected the mission we work towards. Sure, you are developing a relationship with Jensen, which wasn't planned, but that’s life. Who am I to stop love?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess," she said, lost in his words. It was all circling in her head. “Thank you. This is just… all new for me. I'm trying to be open, and I am. I adore Jensen. Far more than I anticipated. I treasure you, Mish. It's just, I've also been so used to the consistency, control. A lot of things are out of my control right now. It's so unnerving. Going into a job under these circumstances made me nervous."</p><p>“I get it. But you gotta understand, to us, who you fuck, has no bearings on who you are? Also, you're not a bureaucrat. You push the mold and reach for better. You care, and that's what drives you. That's what I want. That's what<em> we</em> want, still. And regarding headquarters being in LA, you are not required to be there. None of us are <em>required</em> to be at the office. We can discuss all that further, but to ease you…we have offices across the US. Dee and Gen made sure to have an office in Austin. The majority of our staff telecommute a lot of our work is in the community or over the web. Headquarters is because we need an address and a place to meet for board meetings annually. We have kids, families, and rigorous schedules, all of us. To constantly have to be in the office, good lord. But again, we can talk about all that. We can have a sit down with HR or whoever you need."</p><p>Charlie begins to feel some weight lifted off her shoulders, “Okay.” She spoke.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear what you said.”</p><p>“O-Kay.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m having a hard time hearin’ you, Charlie. Can you repeat yourself?”</p><p>"OKAY, Misha! Jeez. I’ll,” she took a deep breath,” I will interview for the position.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>"No. We're so not out of the woods. I'll interview on one condition. Two, technically, depending on how you look at it.”</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I want to meet Vicky and Danneel. Not necessarily together."</p><p>He laughed. “Yeah, have fun convincing your boyfriend of that one.”</p><p>“Touché.”</p><p>The more she thought about it, Charlie didn’t see her and Jensen’s relationship getting stronger or evolving without meeting Danneel at some point. This was beyond them being married. No matter what, Charlie knew Danneel would always be a part of Jensen's life. They had a kid together, a beautiful, precious, and outright adorable little girl with Jensen’s face. She needed to know, them being a couple, them moving forward as a couple, was something that could happen. Something everyone was okay with. Seeing how deep these ties lie, she needs some form of confirmation she wasn’t walking into doubled down baby mama drama.</p><p>“What? So, you need her okay to date me or something?” Jensen asked, very annoyed. Looking at Charlie over their facetime call.</p><p><strong><em>I miss our little bubble already.</em></strong> “No! It’s not like that. God. Why are you getting so upset?"</p><p>"Because I don't understand why you want to meet Danneel.”</p><p>"And Vicky." She pointedly added.</p><p>Jensen shot her a look over the screen. “Vicky? Because I had sex with her? Once? And it was… it was…" He stuttered, trying to think. He had nothing. He wanted to say it was bad or mediocre, but it wasn't. Something he didn't expect with Vicky, that was for sure. “Charlie, please don’t make me do this.”</p><p>"It doesn't have to be now, Jensen. You can wait. She’s your wife, or whatever, the mother of your child. You know I have to meet her eventually. This whole tag-team la-la-limbo thing, it's hard to wrap my head around with so many players and only one point of view. I just need to put the uncertainties to rest.”</p><p>He sighed, knowing she was right. But he wanted to avoid it as long as possible. "We just started dating, Charlie. She and I just started talking. Can’t we just enjoy this, for a little.”</p><p>“Dude, you think I want this? You know how awkward this is for me? But we need this. You want to be with me?” He nodded giving her a tender face, his eyes locked on her. “I want to be with you, Jensen. I’m doing this for you. This is even more than us, Random Acts wants me, and I feel inclined to accept, but I can't do that if I'm constantly nervous she and I are to cross paths from time to time. Because we are, it's inevitable. And I would rather do it peacefully. I'm just trying to face it head on. Be respectful, at least. Besides, from what I understand, she knows about me. I know about her. What are you expecting, a catfight?"</p><p>“No, Dee would never.”</p><p>"Okay? You think I will?" she asked, a bit defensive.</p><p>"No, of course not."</p><p>“If I come to the convention this weekend, will you at least talk to me about it? Will that ease you?”</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>"Oh, don't maybe me. You honestly have this coming, and I'm sorry, but I'm putting my fucking foot down, Ackles.” Jensen was taken back by her attitude, finding it cute, but she kind of scared him. “You make me fall all weak at the knees for you, trapped me in your wanton ways, then turn around and tell me you have this freaky, albeit kinda hot," Jensen looks at her, questionably. Charlie shrugs," -sex web with your ex-wife and Misha, and Misha’s wife. I’m just supposed to sit here and be all, okay.”</p><p>"Yes." He laughs.</p><p>“No!”</p><p>"Okay, okay. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just…, hesitant is all."</p><p>The two stayed silent for a second, looking at one another.</p><p>“So, you’ll go to the convention?”</p><p>"Of course, that's the first thing you concentrate on."</p><p>"What? I miss you. I wanna spend time with you."</p><p>"I'm sure that's all you wanna do."</p><p>"I'm not going to apologize for admiring you and all that comes with you.” His face softens. “I do miss you. I missed you all weekend, and I just want you with me. Come get a feel of the other side of our lives. Hang with the gang. Briana and Kim asked if you were coming. I think you’ll like it.”</p><p>Charlie paused, looking at him. "Fine, I'll go, but we're not done talking. None of this, sex to avoid shit, shit. And we're having a talk with Misha.”</p><p>Jensen smiled. "Okay."</p><p>"Don't give me that evil smile. A PG-14 talk with Misha!"</p><p>He laughed this time. “Okay. Whatever you say, Maeson. I just want to spend time with you.”</p><p>After she booked her tickets to Vancouver in the morning, getting off the phone with Jensen. Charlie took some time to have a conversation with her favorite older cousin. She felt inclined to talk to someone outside of Maggie. An outsider. Someone who didn’t know who Jensen was and hadn’t been allured by his charm, yet. She needed a wise person’s opinion. Completely unbiased and blunt. She loved her uncle, but when it came to the ‘boy talk’ she left that to his daughter, keeping out a few kinky details.</p><p>"His name is Jensen."</p><p>"Jen-sen. Jensen? What kind of name is Jensen?"</p><p>"It's a good name. Stop it. I love his name. It's different."</p><p>"What's he do for a living?”</p><p>"He's, uh… he’s an actor.”</p><p>“Oh boy. Pops is going to have a field day. Does he know about him?”</p><p>“No, he doesn’t. Not yet. And I know what you’re thinking about him, but he's done well for himself. He's made a living out of it and will continue to. He's got talent, and he's smart with the business. This isn't one of those deadbeat actors, mooching off his girl, kinda things."</p><p>But Charlie kind of left it at that. She didn't go on to say who he was, how successful he was, or how deep his titles and pockets went. She didn't feel the need to. She had nothing to prove when it came to him, and she loved that. She just needed reassurance.</p><p>"It's a tough call, kid. I've been through a divorce, that takes time. I've also been in the situation of loving two men at once. Well, in his case, women.”</p><p>"I didn't say he loved me, Deb. It's literally been two weeks since we started dating.”</p><p>"Fine, adore." She corrected, rolling her eyes.</p><p>"So, you don't think it's just a rebound, and he's not going to get sick of me in like a month or two?"</p><p>"Oh, stop it. From what you told me, no. If anything, he’s had some time. I wouldn't call it a rebound. Not in <em>that </em>sense. Emotionally, sure. But you can even take the cake on that one. Everyone has baggage. I know you feel a connection with him. And there’s the whole sex thing. That’s normal. It’s not <em>just</em> sex for some people. For some people, that’s their love language.”</p><p>"Oh my god." Charlie laughed.</p><p>“It just seems like…your relationship isn't based on a gradual build-up or a meet cute. It was instant. It seemed to manifest on a primal and physical level and built from there. Leaving you both to learn one another along the way. Sometimes it’s beyond words. Maybe he does need something in you. You definitely see and need something in him. The sex I get, but that's chemistry, my love. Biology. You can't fight that."</p><p>“I’m not trying to. I just… never felt this before. This… need. And that need is sex, but it's also Jensen's presence. He's intense, very intense. He has all these layers. Every time I think I have him down, there's something new and more interesting to peel away."</p><p>“Let me put it to you this way. Why after five years? I know there were the little attempts here and there, but after Beau and Mathis, why is he different?”</p><p>“A lot of things. He’s silly but like super serious all the time. A sweet heart. Matches my crazy but doesn't take my shit. He encourages my good qualities. I don't have to worry with him or stress. You know? I trust him. Which says a lot cause he travels often.  I never had that with Beau. I barely had that with Matt. But meeting him, it felt like he was this … kindred soul for me. When we met, it was like we couldn’t wait, and when we had each other… the sex, it was amazing. And beyond that, it’s amazing. I just don’t want to be stupid.” She finished in a low tone.</p><p>"You’re not. With everything you know, is there anything that makes you feel like walking away? Anything that gives you the impression that you should be running towards the exit. Other than fear and speculation.”</p><p>Charlie thought long and hard. Trying to be honest with herself.<strong><em> No, not really. </em></strong>"There is the small part of him being in a divorce and being a father. But that doesn't bother me. It just makes me feel like, one day, the shoe is going to drop, and I'll have to walk away, too strung out and invested."</p><p>"Why? Why do you think you'd have to walk away?"</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>Deborah sighed, giving Charlie a stern look. "Charlie, he's not your mother. You already said it yourself. He's never going to abandon his child."</p><p>"I know that."</p><p>“But?”</p><p>"I don't know. Okay? I get that he is trying to move on with his life. I am not objecting. I'll just always question it, my place in his life. And everything that it entails. I guess, in the end, I'm just scared he'll leave too. Except for this one already has a real reason. If that day ever came, I wouldn't fight it. But then it's like… why try?"</p><p>“It seems to me, you either stay and try it out, or you walk away before it gets deeper.”</p><p>"I don't want to walk away. I just need someone to tell me I'm not an idiot for that. That even though I can acknowledge, I'm being slightly emotional, I’m not being an idiot.”</p><p>“I can tell you I don’t think you are being an idiot. You’ve been through a lot. Even since I’ve known you. You’ve matured and adapted to all that life has thrown in your direction. And maybe this doesn't last, but you're dating again. You're smiling and glowing. You look alive. You actually called me excited for once to tell me about someone. I understand your stance on this, but I agree with Maggie a bit. If you believe he is a good man, I would ride it out. No one is perfect. No situation is perfect. Be honest with him. That's all you can do. At the end of the day, all that matters is who he is and how he'll treat you."</p><p>"Like a queen." She said, not even thinking. The words just came out of her mouth with conviction because <em>she knew it was the truth.</em></p><p>Deborah smiled, liking that idea. "Good, you deserve it. Don't let the anxieties of <em>what if</em> affect right now. Besides, he seems more put together than the past ones.</p><p>“He is, he’s perfect.”</p><p>“Mhmm, who is this guy?”</p><p>Charlie let on to who he was, giving her his full name, waiting for the google search, and reaction. Deborah was floored.</p><p>“Holy shit.”</p><p>“Please keep this under wraps with the family for now,” Charlie begged.</p><p>“That you’re dating a movie star?!”</p><p>“He’s just an actor, not a movie star. And, yes. Please.”</p><p>“Jesus is holy, Charlie!” Deborah says as she looks over his google images.</p><p>“I know. Trust me. I know. You should meet him in person…I never had a chance.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Few and Far Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday morning, she headed to Vancouver for the final day of the convention. She chose not to tell Jensen exactly when she was landing. Only letting him know, she would be there to see him on stage. She wanted some time to immerse herself before he gets his paws on her. She did text Briana letting her know she would be there later in the day.</p><p>Charlie knew Jensen’s whole schedule for the weekend. So, when she touched down back in Vancouver, getting a cab to The Westin Bayshore hotel, where the convention was, she knew exactly where he would be. She got there early, though, landing a little after 8:30, getting to the hotel by a quarter to ten, and his first panel began at 10:30.</p><p>As she sneaked around, she also ignored his texts. He was eager to know when she would be landing. He also let her know he left a VIP and backstage pass at the front desk for her. But Charlie wanted to explore first. She loved conventions, the hype, and common interest. To her, nerds, geeks, Comic-Con lovers, and LARPER's alike always had the best fun. But she never attended a convention aimed at a specific fandom. This experience was cool. </p><p>She checked out the famous Chevy Impala that was outside on display. She got food and some merchandise. Excited she had some Supernatural memorabilia. She even spoke to a few diehard fans that struck a conversation with her while waiting in line.</p><p>She eventually decided to answer Jensen’s texts without actually answering his texts. She sent him her iPhone location. Showing him, she was in the hotel and probably in some proximity to him.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen: The pin says you're right on top of me. 😂</p><p>Charlie: I wish. 🙃</p><p>Jensen: Readin’ my mind, lol. Where are you?</p><p>Charlie: Around. 😚</p><p> </p><p>When she knew he was on stage, she went to the backstage area, getting instructions on where to leave her small luggage. One of the coordinators took it, helping her to the J2 panel doors. As Charlie tried to creep into the show hall, hoping to be stealthy, Jensen spotted her instantly. He was already looking in the direction of her as she entered. A fan on that side of the room was asking a question to him and Jared. He had to squint a bit to see her under the light, but when his suspicions were confirmed, a simple little smile formed on his face. Jensen didn't nod or say anything. He just met eyes with Charlie and turned his attention back to his audience. She seated herself in the back and listened for the rest of the panel, laughing at their idiotic banter and seeing the Sam and Dean, little brother-big brother Dynamic.</p><p>At the end of the panel, Charlie found her way to him behind the stage and free of curious eyes. Smiling, obnoxiously, as he walked towards her from across the room. He pulls her tightly into his embrace, loving the feeling of her body against his again, finally.</p><p>“You’re a sneaky little thing.”</p><p>"Apparently, not sneaky enough." She giggled.</p><p>Jensen smiled down at her, “Hi.”</p><p>"Hi."</p><p>He moves down to give a wet kiss on her cheek, holding her tight. Charlie grabbed his face, making his lips meet hers for a deep needy kiss, not feeling his light teasing. It felt like paradise having his lips on hers again, his hands around her waist. It felt like home.</p><p>Jensen was the first to pull away, leaning his forehead against hers, catching his breath. "I have another panel in a few hours, and then we're all yours."</p><p>Charlie gave him a ridiculous little smile. “We?”</p><p>"You requested a meeting, remember?"</p><p>"You have a way with words. you know that?"</p><p>“How’s that?”</p><p>She didn't say anything. She just shook her head, grabbing his hand and pulling out of his embrace. "I do believe my presence is expected. I would not like to leave my lovely ladies hangin’,” she said, beginning to walk out of the spacious empty room.</p><p>Jensen trailed behind as she held his hand, “Way to change the subject. Hey…,” pulling her to a stop, spinning her into his arms, and slowly walking them towards the adjacent wall. Pushing his body into hers, diving his face in her neck, slowly and torturedly leaving wet warm kisses. “If you don’t want to meet with Misha, I’m fine with that too.”</p><p>“Nice try,” she breathed, closing her eyes, trying not to succumb to his attempts at manipulating her.</p><p>“Jensen,” she whimpers.</p><p>“Yes, Baby?” he said as he continued kissing her neck, leaving wet hot breaths against her already sensitive skin.</p><p><strong><em>Baby, though? Come on.  </em></strong>“You promised,” she whined. Charlie couldn’t see him, but she was sure he was smiling she almost felt the movement of his face against her skin. "Jen."</p><p>“Alright. Alright. I’ll be good. Come on.”</p><p>He grabbed her hand, leading her to the green room, which was just an empty event room with food, drinks, and seating for everyone to sit around between panels. They hung around with everyone. He even went around introducing her to all the cast she hadn't already met until he headed back out for his next panel with Misha.</p><p>Charlie was going back and forth with Ruth and Rob, learning they were a couple, and finding them the absolute cutest. <strong><em>They are two of the softest and sweetest people ever. Their energies match.</em></strong> She was also enamored by Ruth’s lovely accent and overall learning how they gained their careers. Ruth discussing her past dancing career and work on Broadway.</p><p>“Ohhh, there she is!” Charlie heard someone say from behind, making her turn around. It was Kim, smiling and heading right to her as they just got into the room. Briana, shaking her head with a laugh at her over the top friend as she trailed behind.</p><p>Charlie got up, excusing herself from Ruth and Rob, and headed over to them. "Hello, ladies." She gave Kim and Briana a kiss on the cheek. "Long time no see,” she laughs.</p><p>The three sat around, talking amongst themselves for a bit. Kim and Briana, going more into their careers and connection and collaborating Wayward sisters.</p><p>"You should come on Wayward. You'd be a badass interview.”</p><p>Charlie beamed. "You mean, talk as a guest on your show?”</p><p>"Yes, it wouldn’t have to be now. I know your busy, but eventually. We can set it up. I’m sure everyone would love to pick apart that brain of yours,” Briana answered.</p><p>“Totally.” Charlie agreed eagerly. “Whenever. Just let me know. I'm not sure I would be a good conversation piece, but sure.”</p><p>“Sweet,” Kim smiles. “So. How’s it going? You know, with Jensen?”</p><p>Charlie blushes a bit, looking over at Briana, who was equally eager to hear. "They are… awesome," she smiles, not wanting to let too much. "He's awesome."</p><p>"Be good to our boy," Kim says, with an apologetically yet serious face. </p><p>Charlie smiles with a chuckle, “I’m tryin’ my best.”</p><p>"Oh, stop it, Kim,” Briana yells.</p><p>"No, no. She's okay. If anything, I appreciate it. Maybe we’ll need that tenacity eventually. Keep Jensen <em>and </em>me in check." Charlie says with a wink.</p><p>Kim shook her head, “Oh goodness, he’s met his match.”</p><p>"So, I haven't exactly gotten to the point in the show where you too show up. Is that going to affect me doing the podcast? I mean, I’ll probably just catch up, but I wasn’t sure if…”</p><p>“Oh, no,” Briana interjected. “No, the podcast has a more open approach. We try to celebrate badass women and try to have them on our show as much as possible.”</p><p>“Awe, you ladies are awesome. That’s so great. I’m in!”</p><p>Briana went on to ask Charlie about her ‘music career’. Charlie laughed and returned by saying she didn't have one. She explained how her father was in the string orchestra, and their family had a long line of traditions of teaching their children instruments at a young age.</p><p>“Once I got to high school, the passion and interest in playing dwindled. It was never something I wanted to do, just something I was taught and easily learned. Kinda got more into self-expression after a while, steered away from playing.”</p><p>“But you can still play? Kim asked.</p><p>“Sure, I can still play. Not nearly as well. I tune my instruments from time to time but never legitimately play.”</p><p>"You have instruments?” Briana asked in excitement.</p><p>Charlie laughed. "Yup, a Violin. I have a couple of Gibson's and a Fender. I also have a grand piano. All hand me downs, and all that stuff is in my house in Arizona.”</p><p>"Hmm.” Briana hummed, looking lost in thought. “So, you paint and stuff then?”</p><p>"Nah, that dwindled a bit too."</p><p>"But all your artist friends. I've met Maggie. I've even spoken to some of the recruits you brought on. They're all artists to some extent,” Briana asked, interested.</p><p>"Yes, a lot of my friendships were cultivated while Maggie and I were at NYU. Mags did art school, I played it safe, but I always kept up with the scene, kept up with all of them over the years. It's cool to see them all evolve from starving artists in college trying to make a name for themselves to businesspersons, writers, producers, with art exhibits and all.”</p><p>"I guess I can get the marketing aspect. A bit of both worlds, if you will." Kim added.</p><p>"Yes, someone sees it." Charlie laughs. "I can't say I've lived well with my decision. Sometimes I become melancholy to it all. You know? What if. Sometimes I wish I would have been a bit more adventurous."</p><p>"Fuck that, you still can," Kim argued. "You're still young. I've heard about your tenacity. Don’t doubt yourself. I have a feeling if you decided to dip your toe into that world, whatever world that may be, you’d do fine. Not saying quit your day job, but most of us have lives, and we find a way to express ourselves or find a hobby that suits us. Can’t always be business. Sometimes you gotta live a little, love.”</p><p>Charlie thought hard about what Kim said.<strong><em> I mean, she is older, wiser right?</em></strong> She couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sense that something in the universe was telling her to explore the sides of herself she never allowed to show the light of day. She just never had the confidence or certainty everyone else always had. At the end of the day, that indecision and confusion are what consistently leads her to take it safely. However, lately, with meeting Jensen, seeing the world creativity nurtures, seeing Maggie excelling, and meeting new artist friends, everything becoming different and refreshing, Charlie began to feel curious again. <strong><em>Maybe I should take this time away from working to figure myself out.</em></strong></p><p>After the convention, Charlie and Jensen met Misha in his hotel room.</p><p>She felt awkward walking in. As soon as she passed the threshold, there was this energy and charge in the room.</p><p>“Two men and a chick walk into a hotel room,” she said as a joke, as they both walked over to sit on one of the love seats.</p><p>“What?” Jensen asked, sitting right next to her. He was looking at her slightly amused as she looked over to Misha across the room on his computer, not paying them any mind, trying to finish whatever email or world-changing idea he was writing.</p><p>“It’s a joke, Ackles.”</p><p>“No, I got that.” He moved his face closer to hers, almost whispering in her ear, leaving only her to hear his words. "For the record, it would never be in a hotel room. You're far too respectable for that."</p><p>She looked at him, her eyes wide. <em>“</em>The fuck does that mean?”</p><p>“Exactly what I just said. Just adding to your joke.”</p><p>“Never gonna happen.”</p><p>"Then why'd you say it?"</p><p>"Because I'm a perverse human being and everything is a sex joke to me. You, however, took it to, like, the next level.”</p><p>“I don’t think so.”</p><p>Charlie’s head drew back, looking him over. She was about to argue, but Misha closed his laptop and began to walk over to them. He was oblivious to the silent conversation Jensen and Charlie were having across from him. He takes a seat on the available chair.</p><p>“Misha? How would you say the whole ‘tag-team’ situation went,” Jensen said, teasing Charlie’s choice of words to describe their little sex life.</p><p>“Oh, shush,” Charlie spits, “How would you describe this shit you and-”</p><p>“Okay, alright, you too,” Misha said, his voice raised. “Stow the foreplay. Charlie, you wanted a conversation, go.”</p><p>Jensen and Charlie both turn to look at Misha in his stern voice. She was a bit taken back by his tone. Assertive and not at all something Charlie was used to having come from him. <strong><em>Okay, Misha. </em></strong></p><p>“Charlotte, you had questions,” he reiterates.</p><p>“Um, yes.” She became nervous. All strong bravado was gone. Even after being the one who requested this meeting of the lovers. “I just…” she didn’t know what to say or how to say it. “I…”</p><p>"My question is, do you have actual questions, or are you just curious?” Jensen asked, his eyes narrowed as they looked at her.</p><p>Charlie nodded. “Both.”</p><p>“Okay. Like?”</p><p>She shrugged, feeling completely shy about the subject finally being in front of both of them. “Why?” she asked.</p><p>"Why like, <em>why</em> did we <em>all </em>do it? Or <em>why </em>did,” gesturing to him and Jensen, “<em>we </em>do it<em>?” </em>Misha asked for clarification.</p><p>She clears her throat, “Both?”</p><p>Misha and Jensen went on to tell Charlie everything. Everything regarding Danneel and the two of them and how that changed the dynamic of their friendships. She was a bit glad to find their 'dynamic' never happened outside of Danneel and only happened twice. Not that she cared that it happened, but she didn't want <em>it to still be happening.</em></p><p>Charlie even slightly admitted to catching up on the small little moments they had. The contrasting difference in comparison to his relationship with Jared. <strong><em>The way they are sometimes with their bromance. </em></strong>Jensen finally admitted, after everything that happened with Danneel, he fell to Misha.  In a way, he never fell to any other friend. No one could really understand or relate. He even went on to admit what Misha already touched up on about how Charlie was <em>unexpected</em>. On top of, Jensen meeting Charlie was complicated because of her association with Misha and Danneel and the timing of everything.</p><p>Since meeting her, he had been opening up to Misha specifically because he needs reassurance of his actions. Charlie learned Jared was on team Charlie but was a bit more adamant about Jensen fixing everything with Danneel before jumping into a relationship with her. Charlie, actually, kind of agreed, but she also understood the whole, not a part of the plan. Jensen wasn't part of her plan. After everything, knowing everything, here she was.</p><p>Charlie went on to learn after everything hit the fan, Danneel stepped down from a few of her duties at Random acts. She also moved back to Louisiana for some time, before Jensen found a place in Austin, not far from their house. However, she is still an active board member in the organization and holds obligatory duties for the time being.</p><p>Charlie asked questions, and they answered, but she took everything with a grain of salt. She knew they were telling the truth, but she also knew there were two other perspectives to this whole thing. Neither of them wanted to touch too much on the subject of Danneel for fear of something. Also, not wanting to belittle her character, seeing as though Charlie has yet to meet her.</p><p>In the end, Charlie felt a sense of empathy towards Danneel. She wondered how low she must have felt to do something that seemed so out of character from who they described her to be. Charlie knew when it came to cheating there were two sides. Not that she felt Danneel was right, or Jensen was lying, but sometimes you're human. She knew people made mistakes, and usually for a reason. Wrong or right, Danneel made a mistake. Who was Charlie to come and replace everything she made, or even say what she did was wrong? She didn't know her, she wasn't there to see everything unfold, and she didn't want to assume the worst.</p><p>"But Jensen and Vicky?" Charlie asked, looking down at Jensen as he laid on her chest, eyes closed and over the conversation.</p><p>After she asked about Vicky, he finally lifted his head from her, sitting back on the couch and looking over at Misha.</p><p>“Vic doesn’t get out in that sense a lot. After Danneel, Jensen was a bit woeful. He wasn’t really about getting back into the game. How long after the slit, Jensen?” Misha asked.</p><p>"Almost Five months.”</p><p>“I knew what Jensen was capable of, so I was curious. I asked Vicky, she agreed. It took some persuading on his part. He wasn’t for the idea initially.”</p><p>Jensen sat up farther, leaning forward on the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees as he looked down at the floor. “I went out with a chick, tried the whole dating thing. But it's not that easy when everyone knows your face. Well, almost everyone.” Jensen said, looking at Charlie. “It was hard to know who wanted me for me, or wanted the face, the name, or the story.”</p><p>"Needless to say, he didn't go home with her that night,” Misha added.</p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen, feeling upset. <strong><em>Why didn’t he tell me this?</em></strong></p><p>“After the date, a while after, I took Mish on the offer. I kinda had a conversation with Vic before, which led to it just being the both of us. In the end, it was just Vic and me, so Misha wasn't there. You gotta understand, I'm more to your tune, Charlie. I'm willing to try shit, I am. Even with Misha. But I've never been this guy that goes from girl to girl. So being in the age I am, more mature, more knowing. Having a daughter, having been married, and feeling the full weight of life, I agreed. Because I knew her, I respect her. I know where she’s been, and I know where she’s going. I didn’t have to worry about her. To me, sharing wives, which is basically what it felt like, was just weird. Sharing Danneel with Misha was weird, I'll admit. But I saw what it did to her, and being more open-minded or open to unconventional things. It helped me be more in tune with myself. I guess. I don't know."</p><p>She nodded her head. “I get the feelings behind it. I don’t think you guys are crazed sex fiends. I wouldn't be here if I did. Especially in this room, alone right now. I just…I needed to know; this isn’t some huge, twisted love triangle that I'm getting into. You know? Like Misha's not in love with Jensen or Danneel. Jensen's not in love with Vicky or Misha. I'm not going to wake up with someone standing over my bed with a knife or have my name drugged through the mud. I respect whatever was before me. I honestly just needed some confirmation and story holes filled. I’m sorry If I’m making you drudge this up. I know you were opening up to me, and I know it was hard for you to do that, but I needed this.”</p><p>After ‘the serious conversation' Charlie and Jensen went out to dinner before they headed home. The conversation was light and cheery, all stress and awkwardness from before, gone. They were their normal selves, with no new dating awkwardness or fear of letting too much on. They were their true selves, and it was solidifying for both of them. Finally finding their tune to each other and loving it.</p><p>When they got back to Jensen’s apartment building and waited for the elevator to arrive, Jensen took Charlie into an embrace, holding her to him until the doors opened. Entering, Charlie felt that familiar charge. The charge she felt that night when they were in the hotel, and he picked her up for their first date. Even that charge again when they got to his apartment that night, right before they had sex for the first time.<strong><em> Oh, what an amazing night.</em></strong></p><p> She chuckled to herself as she rests her head against his chest, watching the elevator floor numbers move up, knowing and excited for what was going to come.</p><p>“What are you giggling about?”</p><p>"Nothing, just thinking of the first time."</p><p>Jensen moved to turn her head toward his, “First time…?”</p><p>She giggles. "The elevator. The little moments, in the beginning, I guess. Good memories ill always cherish.”</p><p>Jensen looked into her eyes, wondering why he kept expecting her to walk away when all she has ever done, is give him the reassurance she wasn’t leaving. He moved his head down to graze his lips against hers. “They were some good times,” he said, then finally pressed their lips together, definitely catalyzing that little charge between them in the small, confined space.</p><p>“Why are you talkin’ like were not still there?” She laughs. “Losing faith in me already, Ackles?”</p><p>"Never."</p><p>He kissed her again, pushing her against the metal and glass elevator wall. Moving in to deepen the kiss, he was interrupted by the elevator's loud ding as they get to their floor.</p><p>“Guess what?” She asked before they walk off into the hall.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“We get to have sex now,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes in perfect timing as the door slid open.</p><p>Jensen didn't have to hear another word. He grabbed Charlie's hands, pulling her quickly out of the elevator towards his apartment.</p><p>She giggles as she follows him down the hall. Remembering, just the same, how eager he was that first night. Unable to wait. “Yeah, you did this that night too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Whole Lotta Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A whole lotta lovin’.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Working to quickly unlock the door to his apartment, Jensen finally got them both inside. Within seconds their lips were on one another, both working on shedding their clothes. Pushing and throwing one another into the furniture and walls as they went. Jensen, pulling Charlie’s ponytail, letting her locks fall down. They fall around her shoulders and waist as he guides them towards the bedroom. Charlie, eagerly working to get all of his clothes off of him, needing to feel his skin against hers. Both, impatiently unwrapping each other, never leaving each other's lips.</p><p>When they get to his bedroom, she pushes him onto the bed and returns to taking the rest of her clothes off. Jensen leans onto his elbows, bared chested, but still with his jeans on, watching her as she undresses. The two boring eyes into each other as she slowly, one by one, unbuttons her blouse, revealing a perfectly fitted, lace teddy bodysuit.</p><p>His jaw drops, “Holy shit.”</p><p>Charlie smiled at him, seeing and feeling his reaction. “You like?”</p><p>Jensen jumped to his feet, picking Charlie up, spinning her around, and throwing her on the bed. She giggled under him, enjoying the playfulness that she missed so much.</p><p>Jensen looked down at her, beguiled by her beauty in these moments of carefree laughter. After everything, after knowing what she knew, she stayed, she accepted him. This didn't feel like any other time to him. Charlie didn't feel like any other girl. Every fiber of his being wanted her in every way possible. Looking down at her, so illustrious, raw, smiling, and vulnerable to him, her lips red and plump from his doing. After everything, he just wanted to savor her.</p><p>He moved down to kiss her collar bone, making her roll into him as his warm lips sent a shock wave all the way to her sex. She moans, already feeling the effects of him.</p><p>“You know what makes you so beautiful? … Besides the view of you in this intricate piece of lace at the moment.”</p><p>“Afterglow?”</p><p>He laughed on top of her, “Yes, definitely. But not what I meant…” Jensen moves down her body, diving his face into her cleavage. “After everything today, all the details and conversations, even Misha’s little diva moments.” She laughed. <strong><em>Misha definitely seemed moody today.</em></strong> “All I’ve put you through. You came here wearing this. All-day, and you had this on… the whole time.”</p><p>Charlie chuckled, wrapping her legs up around his waist, squeezing him to her. “Yes.” She smiles, moving to meet his lips in a kiss. “A girl has needs. And yes,” she nuzzles his nose. “-after everything your sweet little kinky ass has put me through, I wore this. Kinda didn’t know how this day would play out, needed some leverage if the moment ever came.”</p><p>He chuckled, “God, you’re fucking remarkable.”</p><p>“There’s an even skippier one. It leaves very little to the imagination." She winks.</p><p>"I can’t help but feel proud of my little, seductive minx but also a bit hurt. You went shopping, and I got no pictures?”</p><p>"I had a random hour to kill in Phoenix. And… I like the element of surprise. If you’re expecting it, what’s the fun in that?”</p><p>"This may just be the horny talking, but I think I'm smitten.”</p><p>She chuckled, taking his words lightly, “Good.” Giving him a final kiss on his lips before pushing him down her body, needing him to continue. "Now, get to work.”</p><p>Jensen chuckles at her eagerness, slowing beginning to lower himself down her body, planting his lips against the open parts of the lace.</p><p>“Am I supposed to know how to remove this thing?" he asked, bringing both his hands over her breast, squeezing them hard, and eliciting a quiet, tender moan from her.</p><p>He needed the material covering her <em>gone.</em></p><p>As he moved down, he finally discovered the crotchless opening. Jensen gave Charlie a triumphantly evil smile. Impatient, he moves to his knees. Using the one vulnerable point in her piece he could find to rip it off her. He grabbed and ripped at the hole, careful not to hurt her but diligent.</p><p>Charlie laughed at how it felt, the way he tugged it open and off her, and how adorably frustrated he looked. Like he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle.</p><p>“I wanna be upset you’re destroying it. It was kinda pricey, but your face is hilarious right now.”</p><p>“There’s a design flaw.” He quips.</p><p>"Sure. Yeah. We’ll go with that.”</p><p>Jensen finally ripped the garment off her, leaving her naked under him. Seeing her in all her glory as her buxom breasts lay free, making him dive forward into them. Charlie chuckled under him again, ticklish to the sensation of his mouth on her sensitive skin. Following her reaction with a moan as she felt him take in her nipples. She moves her hands to hold his head to her as he sucked, but Jensen stopped her.</p><p>He grabbed her hands, intertwining their fingers, pinning them to her sides as he climbs and hovers over her, looking down. “You’re mine now.”</p><p>She lifts her chest, bringing her lips closer to his, grazing his lips with hers, trying to get as close to him as she could with her hands pinned down. “I thought that was already established.”</p><p>Jensen groaned deep at her admission, “Well, see, now I’m torn. I felt that I owed you a favor but, all I wanna do is be balls deep inside of you right now.”</p><p>"And what favor would that be?"</p><p>He looked at her, his smile mischievous as he began climbing down her body again. Still holding her wrists down, keeping them firmly against the bed. As he moved down, he left kisses on her belly button, her tattoo, and her birthmark. When his lips touched the mark, he licked it, looking up to see Charlie watching him. Then he trailed his tongue all the way past her hip bone to her pussy, causing Charlie to throw her head back with a loud moan. Reeling at the sensation of him in her sensitive folds. Knowing exactly what his game was.</p><p>Jensen looked up at her through his lashes, never leaving her eyes, he lightly teases her with his tongue. “Hmm. You’re already so fucking wet for me.”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>She bites her lip with a moan, knowing he was going to try to work her until she came. If she came, but she had very little faith her body was going to allow that to happen.</p><p>Interrupted from her thoughts, Charlie inhales sharply as Jensen dives his tongue into her hole, then dragging it up through her folds to her clit with the right amount of pressure. She breathes, her eyes closed, allowing herself to feel everything. She concentrated in the feeling of his warm skin on her legs, between her legs, as he methodically devoured her. Concentrating on the firm strength he used to hold her hands down and her legs open for him.</p><p>Jensen kept up his work, licking, flicking, and biting. He had her moaning, screaming, and writhing around his head.</p><p>She fought against his grip, needing her hands to touch him, but he held her down. Eventually causing Charlie to close her legs tightly around his head. His arms <em>almost</em> unable to hold up against her strong thighs, but he managed.</p><p>She still fought against his grip on her, and Jensen finally let go of her wrists. Free to move, Charlie tries to crawl away from him. Away from the overwhelming feeling of what he was exquisitely doing to her. She was able to get almost to the edge of her climax but never over that brink.</p><p>“I can’t. I can't. Jensen, please."</p><p>He ignored her, continuing his ministrations and never letting in. She slid up on the bed, pulling away from his face and trying to roll over away from him. “It’s too much. I can’t. I need you,” she begs. “I’m never gonna cum this way.”</p><p>Jensen grabs her, "I don't know. I kinda like it when you beg." He pins her back down and goes back in with his tongue.</p><p>“Fucking god,” she growls, throwing her fists into the mattress as she feels another roll of pleasure with no release. This time, involuntarily grinding her hips into his face.</p><p>Jensen grabbed her hips, turning her over. She became excited, thinking she was finally going to get what she wanted. Pushing her ass into the air, waiting for him. He kisses her lower back softly, all the way down to her ass cheeks. Then pushed her face into the mattress, holding her down and diving his tongue into her again from behind.</p><p>“Jesus, fuck. Yes!" she screams into the mattress. Taken back, even more, when she felt him pull back, slapping her ass heavy and hard, then diving back in. The pain adding to the sensation as her moans turn into cries. He smacks her again, and she grips the sheets with her teeth and hands, trying to at least work herself over that edge for him. Trying to will her body to cum.</p><p>Jensen brings his hand back down to her ass again, and she growls into the mattress.</p><p>“Fuuck!”</p><p>He chuckles. “You want me?” he asked as Charlie groans in frustration. Pushing into him. Her face the same beat red color as her ass.</p><p>“Yes,” she let out as a moan.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to cum for me, sweetheart.”</p><p>"Ugh," Charlie yelled into the mattress.</p><p>“This isn’t your body. This is that mind of yours. Your body wants to cum, it so desperately needs to cum, but you won’t let it. Not really. You’re too much in your head. Just let go.”</p><p>“Fuck you.” She bellows into the mattress again.</p><p>Jensen laughs, knowing he was getting somewhere. “Tell me what you want?”</p><p>“You… Inside me. Now.”</p><p>“Like this?” he asked, plunging his fingers into her hole.</p><p>Charlie grunted at the unexpectedly sharp feeling of him pushing into her. His fingers were far smaller than she was used to or wanted at this point. She added a groan in further frustration as he begins to work them in and out, “No,” she whines. Then chuckles to herself a bit, slightly enjoying the game. The sound so low Jensen didn’t even notice.</p><p>"You want me to fuck you? You want my cock inside of you?”</p><p>Charlie nods as best she could as her face and head were pressed into the mattress. “Yes,” she eventually whines, knowing he wanted a response.</p><p>"All you gotta do is say it.”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>"Nope. You can do better than that.”</p><p>"God, you’re such a dick.” He laughs, enjoying her frustration. "Please. Jensen. I need you.”</p><p>“Then say it for me, Charlie. You know what it is. Tell me what I wanna hear. I know you wanna say it.”</p><p>“Jensen.”</p><p>He smiled, knowing she was only ever able to surrender to an extent. That was the problem. That was why she couldn’t cum. She never let her mind and body relax, always needing some form of power.</p><p>"You need to let go, Charlie," he said in a stern sensual voice. “Calliope.”</p><p>"Oh, my god." She didn't understand why, but Jensen, saying her name like it was his to say, and only his, as if he owned her, and that was the one thing that separated him from the world because no one ever called her that. No one was ever given the opportunity to. No one until him. She turns her head to look at him, and he smacks her ass. Meeting her skin harder this time causing her to grip the sheets again, screaming into the mattress.</p><p>“FUCK!” she cried.</p><p>"You know what I want you to say. All you need to do is say it. Give me what I want. Give me what your body needs."</p><p>-Smack-</p><p>“AH!” she yelps, her ass still in the air.</p><p>He was about to stop and flip her over and finish her off, not wanting to go too far, but was taken back when he heard her begin to laugh.</p><p>“It’s not gonna happen, Ackles. I don’t break that easy.”</p><p>She didn’t see it, but he smiled wide at her, biting his lip, “Oh, you just made this fun.”</p><p>He smacks her ass one more time. This time at the same pressure then the last, and she growled at him again. He flipped her over on her back, then jumped off the bed, quickly working his jeans and boxers off. His firm erection free and standing.</p><p>Charlie watched him undress, getting to her hands and knees on the bed, crawling to him as her mouth watered from the sight.</p><p>“No,” Jensen said firmly. Like an owner telling his dog to stand down. He knew exactly where her thoughts were, and he wasn’t giving that to her. “Not until you do what I say.” Charlie sat back on her ankles, pouting at him for a second, and genuinely upset he just told her <em>‘no’</em> to sucking his dick.</p><p>When he began to stroke himself, she unintentionally gives him a smirk, loving this side of Jensen but knowing she was too stubborn to actually listen. He wanted power over her, and she wanted to give it, but she didn't really know how to <em>fully </em>do that. It wasn’t in her nature. All she could think about was getting a rise out of him. She wanted to see what he was capable of. Going against what he wanted, gave her that.</p><p>Jensen grabbed her ankles, dragging her to the edge of the bed. Making her collapse to her back on the mattress. He pulls her to him, pushing her legs apart and falling in between them.</p><p>"All I wanted was my sweet girlfriend and a night of soft lovemaking," Jensen said over her lips. Charlie moved up to complete the kiss, but he pulled away. “Now I have to make it a lesson.”</p><p>Charlie bit her lip, readying herself. “Whatever you say, sir.” She muttered, knowing that’s what he wanted. He wanted her to say ‘Yes, sir’, and he wanted her to submit to him. <em>Too fully submit, mind and body</em>. Because he knew, just like she did, doing so gave him all the power, and she just wasn't able to give in quite yet. So, she knew, saying his little <em>title or name,</em> out of the context he wanted, would set him off.</p><p>He smiled down at her. “Okay.” He nodded his head, mulling over what he wanted to do. “Lay down.” He climbed on the bed, his wrathful erection in his hand.</p><p>Charlie listened, knowing whatever she did wouldn’t help the hole she dug herself, then again not really wanting to be saved. She wanted to feel what he had planned for her, even if she might regret that decision in an hour or 10 minutes. She laid flat on the bed, waiting for him.</p><p>He kneeled over her a bit, “Open your mouth wide.”</p><p>Charlie listened, and he stuffed his cock into her mouth. She moved to grab his shaft as she took him, but he grabbed her wrists, straddling her chest and pinning them to the bed. He worked himself in and out of her mouth. Being careful at first, letting her get used to it. When he felt she had it down, he began to really work into her, hitting the back of her throat repeatedly, making Charlie gag around him. Then pulling back to a normal rhythm until he went hard in again. But she never tapped out or told him to stop. The tears began to fill her eyes from his thrusts, she continued to look up at him, taking all of it. Listening to every word he said, never missing a beat.</p><p>“God, I love that mouth,” he groaned, feeling himself getting to the edge.</p><p>He pulled out, climbing off of her. Finally hovering his face over hers, kissing her lips in a hot wet kiss, pulling at her bottom lips until she whined. Letting it go and letting her fall to the bed, he moved over to sit against the headboard.</p><p>“Come here.”</p><p>Charlie got up, crawling over to him slowly.</p><p>“Sit on me,” he demanded.</p><p>Doing as she was told, she began to straddle him.</p><p>“No, face the door. I want your back to me.”</p><p>She made a face, wanting to see him as he fucked her, but did what she was asked. She sat over him, using her hand to position him at her hole. Without warning, he grabbed her hips and pushed her down on him.</p><p>“AH! SHIT!” she screamed as the swift penetration. He hit deep in her, at an angle she never felt before. “Oh my god,” she winced as he stretched her, savoring the pain but wondering if and when her body would ever get used to him. She whined and moaned at the ache. Grabbing his legs and squeezing them as he pushes her down. Only to bring her all the way back up just to slam into her again.</p><p> Jensen ignored her cries or whimpers of his name, gripping her hips so tight, Charlie could feel the bruises that were going to form. He moved her up and down on him, throwing his head back against the headboard as she grips him so perfectly. "Shit. Oh, my God, you're so fucking tight."</p><p>Charlie, slowly becoming weaker and weaker as he worked her. She tried to surrender to it, let him control her. She pushed her hands into the bed for support, working with his thrusts, needing a release as he worked her up and down. Within minutes her legs began to shake, and she needed to cum. Jensen, feeling her flutter around him he pulls her to his chest. He nibbles on her shoulder, biting and sucking the skin as she worked circles on him.</p><p>“Is this what you wanted?” he asked, low into her ear.</p><p>“Yes. Oh, god, yes.”</p><p>He chuckled, pushing her off him, making her fall forward onto the mattress. She laid there, breathless, grabbing her crotch and feeling how tender and sensitive she was. Her nerves were overstimulated and on edge, and they weren’t even done yet.</p><p>Jensen got to his knees, “Get on all fours.”</p><p>Charlie turned her backside to him. Moving into his hands as he grabbed her hips and thrust hard into her, causing Charlie to fall forward into the mattress a bit. Only to have Jensen pull her back towards him and repeat the action again.</p><p>She screamed in unison to the loud sound of Jensen slamming into her, their skin smacking together. He fucked her deep and hard from behind. Using her hips to control how fast, all the while, Charlie screams into the sheets. Past the point of pleasure and pain and onto complete euphoria… nirvana. Gripping the edge for dear life as she feels her orgasm coming on.</p><p>“Don’t you dare cum until I tell you?" He seethes.</p><p>Charlie doesn’t say anything. Too lost in the feeling of him hitting that one sweet spot so hard and so good. He grabs a fist full of her hair, pulling it and pulling her to him. Never stopping his thrusts as he brings her back against his chest. Charlie moans louder, feeling him hitting at a different angle. She wraps her arms around his neck, needing to anchor to him.</p><p>He stops, making her open her eyes and turn her face to him. He could see the frustration written all over it as she was hot, flushed, and breathless.</p><p>“Did you hear me?” he asked.</p><p>Without saying a word, she nods. Jensen smiles, pulling her face to his and diving his tongue into her mouth. He begins working into her again at the same force, and Charlie moans uncontrollably into his mouth.</p><p>“Holy fucking shit. Fuck,” she cries as she pulls away, feeling her orgasm taking over again and trying like hell to hold it back. She removes herself from him, bending over and pressing her hands into the mattress. Pushing into his thrusts, all the while trying to keep her orgasm at bay for him. Ready for the word. <em>For the command.</em></p><p>Again, Jensen pulls out of her. Pushing her to the mattress, turning her around, grabbing her thighs, and immediately diving his face between her legs.</p><p>“Oh, god. Jen.”</p><p>This time, as he sucked and licked her, he used his thumb to work her clit. After spending the past thirty minutes being fucked and worked to the precipice, she immediately feels the difference. With her hands-free, Charlie holds his head to her. Playing and pulling at his hair as she ground into his movements.</p><p>“Cum on, baby,” was all he needed to say.</p><p>Invoking an orgasm that riddled through her body. Her entire back arched, and Jensen held her to his face as she squirmed against him. She writhed on the bed, letting it work through her, finally feeling herself cum hard with his face between her legs and loving every second of it.</p><p>She pulled at a pillow, pressing it against her face as her orgasm still ripped through her. Jensen, holding her in place now, making her unable to move. When she feels him pull away from her, she throws the pillow back down on the bed, looking to find him moving away.</p><p>Even though she just came, it wasn’t enough. She needed more. And knowing Jensen hadn't cum yet, more was coming, but she grew tired of the teasing. Tired of being fucked to the point of near orgasm, only to be pulled from oblivion.</p><p>“Jensen. Please.”</p><p>"Please what, Baby?</p><p>She whimpers, crawling over to him, hoping the final act involved her mouth around his cock. Looking up at him, she bit her lip.</p><p>Seeing her, Jensen bends down a bit, giving her a kiss on the lips, letting her taste herself. He pulled away, and just as his lips left hers, she muttered, “Please, sir.”</p><p>He froze, looking down at her, seeing her little smile, but also seeing her desperate for him. He connected their lips again, slowly lowering her to rest on the bed, his body naturally falling between her legs. He deepened the kiss, diving his tongue into her mouth, needing all of her.</p><p>Charlie, feeling his dick moving circles against her sensitive and overstimulated folds she moved a hand down between them, gripping his cock, and lining him up to her again. Pulling away from his lips, pressing her head against his, “Is that what you wanted me to say? Want me to say it again?”</p><p>He hesitated a beat, finding himself back on the tie line. Charlie, pulling that rope. Just with a few words, she had Jensen under her thumb. With a simple question, she gained a little bit of her control.</p><p>… “Please, sir.”</p><p>Jensen pushed into her in one quick move, causing a gasp to leave her mouth.</p><p>He covered her moans and pants with a kiss as he began to rock into her.</p><p>This time there wasn't a rush or an urgency to it, both having gotten what they wanted. Leisurely but firmly rocking his hips against her, feeling every stroke. Pressing and holding their bodies against each other, trying to feel everything they could, as if they couldn’t get close enough. All the visceral need they worked towards minutes ago, gone. Their actions were gentle but diligent. No longer working towards a release, but two souls fusing.</p><p>Jensen kissed the skin of her neck as he worked in and out. She pulled his hair, lifting his head to hers, going in for a kiss again. Savoring the taste of him as he breathed labored and heavy into her mouth, the two moaning and groaning in unison.</p><p>The two looking into each other’s eyes, intensifying everything they felt. Jensen takes her lip between his teeth, pulling at it. Her legs, squeezing hard around his hips as her walls gripped him tight.</p><p>“Tell me you’re mine,” Jensen said. He felt himself cumming soon. Breathing hot and heavy over her.</p><p>Charlie couldn’t focus as she felt another orgasm begin to wash through her. Her entire body, becoming tense as he worked her to that abyss again.</p><p>Jensen squeezes her neck, "No. Answer me.” He stopped his movements.</p><p>She opened her eyes, looking dead at him, "Yes. I’m yours. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours,” she lets out.</p><p>He begins moving again, taking her in for a kiss, rocking into her a few more times. As soon as Jensen felt her gripping him tighter, her walls fluttering, he knew she needed a release.</p><p>“Cum,” he said, looking down at her.</p><p>On command, Charlie let go, going silent under him, her eyes roll into the back of her head. Diving his face into her neck, groaning deep into her as he cums hard. The both of them moaning and cumming, finishing their climaxes together. Gripping one another’s body as they worked through it.</p><p>When they came down from their highs, Jensen falls limp and rolls off her, sweaty and breathing heavily. Looking over at Charlie as she did the same. The two smiling to themselves as they realized how amazing and different that felt.</p><p>They both began to laugh, not really knowing what to say.</p><p>“Holy shit,” Jensen finally lets out.</p><p>“Yeah.” She turned to him, lightly smacking his cheek. “I think you’ll do.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. La Belle Fleur Sauvage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two laid, sprawled out on the bed, their legs still tangled together as Jensen looks up at the ceiling. Charlie rests on his chest, looking out the window, taking in the blend of colors outside as the sun goes down, ending another day. They're laughing and talking back and forth on the bed, in no rush to go anywhere.</p><p>How are you, by the way?" Jensen asked, looking sincerely at her.</p><p>"I'm perfect. Probably some battle wounds. Totally worth it."</p><p>He laughed. "I meant, how are you with everything going on?" He moves over to lightly grab the Calliope-chain around her neck. "With you leaving MAP. With Maggie maybe moving and everything with me."</p><p>"Oh." She thought about how to respond. "I'm good. We're good. Still taking it all in strides. I think work feels, simpler and I feel lighter. I don't have to worry about shit anymore. That's kinda freeing. Also, just trying to take the opportunity to find me."</p><p>"You?"</p><p>"Yeah. I know that sounds silly. It's just, I realized I'm not happy with how passive I have been with my life. I never allowed myself to just do what I wanted. Not without fear of failure or consequence. I realized I'm kind of in a position where I can do that and not have to fear anything. Nothing is holding me back… just me. Except… I don't know what I want to do, and I kinda wanna figure that out."</p><p>He smiles wide at her. "That's awesome. But, if this is you saying you're passing on Random Acts, I think Misha's gonna be very heartbroken again."</p><p>"No, I'm not passing it up. I'm also not jumping into it. I still have to meet for the interview and discuss everything, but I'm still planning on going that route. That'll be a big change, though. I need to be in a good mental space."</p><p>Jensen nodded in acknowledgment. "And me? How are you feeling about me?"</p><p>"At the moment, very satisfied."</p><p>He chuckled, "Nice."</p><p>"If you are asking about everything that just happened, I'm good."</p><p>"No, I know that. I just mean, taking off the ring, Matt, being in a relationship, having regular sex. Everything with Misha and Danneel."</p><p>"Don't forget Vicky."</p><p>Jensen gave her a deadpan face.</p><p>Charlie laughed. "I'm good." She moved over to give him another kiss. "I'm great. I'm awesome." He gives her a look, not buying it, and she smiled. "I told you. Everything is a lot, sure, but I don't regret anything. Honestly, I find myself wondering what would have happened had I never walked onto the set that day. Or I told Richard to go fuck himself when he called me at 6 in the morning, on a Sunday. Life's funny." She looked off at the window again, lost in thought. "Now, I'm dating the sweetest, funniest, and most handsome guy. Along with that, I've met some pretty great people. I'm frazzled because I've been so used to life being one way. Comfort. Consistency. But you're right. It's a control thing. As much as I don't want to admit it, I need that control. But it's not because I'm a control freak… okay… I'm kinda controlling about some stuff but still." Jensen smiles. "For a long time, I felt like I had no control or power over my life. Then when I thought I didn't need it… everything, and I mean, everything went to shit. So now… I'm a bit meticulous at times. Because if I didn't work towards maintaining some modicum of control, I'd lose this well-kept bravado I show to the world. However, I'm a bit more relaxed than I've been in a long time. So, I'm good." She paused for a second, looking him over. Seeing him look back at her. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Same. More or less. Taking it all in stride but enjoying having you in my life."</p><p>"Awe, you wanna keep me. I feel loved."</p><p>Jensen let out an exhausted chuckle. "When do you leave me?"</p><p>"I can stay another day. I have to be in New York on Tuesday afternoon. Have a few meetings, so I booked a red-eye. Then probably back to Arizona my Monday, for work this time."</p><p>"What else is going on?"</p><p>"Just deadlines, selling the house. Helping my mom with the wedding. I'll probably need to move after Maggie moves out. Not comfortable being in that big apartment alone.: She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"That all seems like a lot."</p><p>"I'm fine. Oh, and I found out how much my house is worth."</p><p>"Judging by your face… I'm guessing it's bad."</p><p>"Depends on your point of view."</p><p>"Okay? What's the damage?"</p><p>Charlie looks away, avoiding eye contact. "1.5."</p><p>Jensen's face fell. "Million?" he asked, completely taken back and surprised.</p><p>She nods. "Yeah."</p><p>"Holy shit. Nice. Right?"</p><p>"Apparently, when my uncle kept trying to persuade me to sell, he had a fairly good idea of its increasing value."</p><p>"And you never knew?"</p><p>"Well, I knew how much he bought it for in 1981. And he paid it off when I was still a minor. But when he died, my aunt and uncle handled all that stuff for me. Back then, the value was not even $700,000. But at the same time, we were in the middle of a recession, and property values were at an all-time low. There are other things, but still. I didn't expect it to double in value."</p><p>"I guess it's better than falling short. Look at it like this. Whatever house you go for… you'll never really have a mortgage. Just maintenance and more taxes, but it's kinda sky's the limit. Depending on where you buy. Can't see you going for a mansion."</p><p>"Yeah. I know. Finding out just threw me off, to say the least. The money is great. It's just a lot to take in. It was hard enough selling my childhood home, but I need to move on with it. And I need it to no longer be the house everyone lives in when they're in-between shit."</p><p>"Still thinking Cali?"</p><p>"I haven't been thinking at all. I know Cali isn't the best place to buy a property right now, but I need something in between. Maybe I'll just pocket the money. Follow after my cousin's footprints and move off to Italy or Portugal. Spending my days painting, exploring, dreaming of you."</p><p>"You could." He laughed. "Can't say you don't deserve it."</p><p>"Yeah, except, I'm a bit too modest for that, unfortunately. I'll figure it out. Always do."</p><p>Charlie moves to her side on the bed, parallel to him, just looking into his eyes as they both rested on the pillow.</p><p>So, when is your mom's wedding?" he asked.</p><p>"End of October. I thought about asking you to come, but I know you're probably busy. I didn't want you to feel obligated."</p><p>"Kinda figured you wanted to avoid me meeting your mother and family."</p><p>"That too." She laughed. Then she realized how that could have been taken. "Not that I don't want her to meet you. Or you to meet them because…I mean if you wanna meet the woman, you can. I just… I don't know. I wanted to save myself the stress and potential embarrassment."</p><p>Jensen smiled wide, holding a laugh, "I know. It's okay. Did you want me to go?"</p><p>"I'll always want you wherever I am, sure. Maggie will be busy the whole night, and you'd be a good distraction from my mother trying to set me up with her friend's sons or whoever."</p><p>"I'm guessing she does that often."</p><p>"Oh, goodness, yes. I'm sure once she finds out I've been dating she will be eager to meet you. The invitation is there. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. I just figured if you weren't on set, at a convention, or handlin' shit in LA, you're in Texas with your girl."</p><p>"Yeah, but you're my girl now too." Charlie felt her stomach swirl with butterflies at his words. I'm his girl. "I appreciate you coming to Vancouver again. Adjusting your life around for me. It doesn't go unnoticed. I'm a little more limited right now, but I have to make an effort too. I can work on making it."</p><p>"Really?!"</p><p>He laughs at her excitement, "Yes. Any excuse to see you in a beautiful dress. There will be a beautiful dress, right?" She nods with a smile, her eyes excited. He cups her face with his hand, Charlie moving into it, feeling its warmth. "You were right about that afterglow."</p><p>"Hmm, that was fun. You're fun. I think I'll keep you." She moved closer to him for another kiss. "Definitely wanna do that again. And again. And again."</p><p>"Easy tiger. Give me some time to recuperate."</p><p>"I don't mean now… I kinda think you're right, though. About … the whole control aspect. Sexually anyway," Charlie said, feeling shy.</p><p>"It's hard to let go of control. Trust me, I know. I was you."</p><p>"What did Danneel 'Yes, ma'am' you or something?"</p><p>"Something to that effect, yeah."</p><p>"Do pray tell."</p><p>He chuckled. "There's nothing to tell, though. Nothing specifically happened, and there isn't a particular story. It was just a process. I told you, it was all against the grain for me. I did it, but I had my doubts after. I was hesitant and confused. Because I liked it, wanted it, but it contradicted what I was used to. How I was made to believe I should be. I felt like, in a way, I was betraying her and myself in the mix. Like you, I need control. I have too much going on not to. It's how I get through the day. So, when I started this little sexual unraveling, suffice it to say, I was a bit uptight and unwilling to succumb."</p><p>"But you did?"</p><p>"Eventually. Yeah."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"As weird as it sounds, I just kept saying yes. After it happened that first night, I had my thoughts. I avoided Misha for a few days, but something changed in Dee. Something changed in me. I was curious, and suddenly there was this hope. There was also this whole other side to something I thought I already had down packed."</p><p>"Yeah, you're even great at vanilla."</p><p>He shook his head at her, chuckling a bit. "Well, sex is complicated, but it's kinda also not. We just complicate it. Once I kinda realized that I gave in a bit. I slept with Misha. Let him go down on me. Let him fuck my wife. The both of us did… naughty things to her." He looked at Charlie, feeling like he said too much, but Charlie just shook her head with a smile.</p><p>"It's funny how you guys are very humble, sweet, and caring. The prince charming's us girls only dream about. Good men, good fathers. But at the end of the day, you're still very much just men. Right down to the bone."</p><p>"Meaning?"</p><p>"Meaning you’re a gentlemen. You have your scruples, but like all men, you're very much dominated by your Id." She looked down at his package, now covered by his blanket. "You're primal needs. You know that little need for gratification and the many-many different ways or positions in doing so. In other words, you're freaks."</p><p>He laughs again, not denying what she had to say. "Yeah. In a way. I guess."</p><p>"Speaking of Misha…is he upset with me?"</p><p>"Why would he be upset with you?</p><p>"I don't know. I'm making him reach out to Vicky. I made him talk about everything. His slight sassiness today seemed out of character for him is all."</p><p>"No. You're fine. Misha's not upset with you. If anything, he's probably upset with me."</p><p>"So, he is upset. Why?"</p><p>"Reasons," he said, looking at her lip as she bit it, probably not even knowing she was doing it.</p><p>"Yeah, way to be vague. Is it about me?"</p><p>Jensen looked Charlie in the eyes when she asked that, his humor gone a bit. "A little, but more something I said. He didn't want to hear."</p><p>"You be nice to my Misha."</p><p>"Your Misha?" He laughs.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure he was my Misha before he was your Misha?"</p><p>"Awe, he's your Misha. You just called him your Misha."</p><p>Jensen rolls his eyes. "I take it back."</p><p>"No, no. I take it back. He's your Misha." She adds, teasing him.</p><p>He thinks of something, "That kinda reminds me of your Maggie. Something I've been meaning to ask."</p><p>"Oh goodness."</p><p>"Is Maggie like-" Jensen hesitated, not knowing how to phrase the question. "I get a vibe from you two. Like-"</p><p>"Like we tried it, but said fuck it, let's just be friends and found that it works better?"</p><p>"Yeahhhhh."</p><p>Charlie diverts Jensen's eyes. She sits up on the bed, pulling a pillow to cover herself a bit, feeling cold as she turned to face Jensen. He looked at her, watching with squinted eyes. When Charlie looks at him she begins to smile wide.</p><p>"Holy mother-did you and Maggie…?!"</p><p>Charlie laughs, "Have hot lesbian sex?"</p><p>"Yes?!"</p><p>"Sorry to burst your excited little bubble but, no."</p><p>Jensen's face fell, disappointed. "So, the two of you never…?" He moved his head towards her a bit, gesturing something.</p><p>She sighed. "There was a night where we kissed. But it never went past kissing."</p><p>She looks over at Jensen again, seeing the excitement in his eyes, knowing all he wanted to do was ask questions but didn't want to pry.</p><p>Charlie rolled her eyes. "It was after, Matt. I had this date, and it was a bust. She got me to go to this club. I got plastered, and guys just kept hitting on me."</p><p>"Am I gonna like this story?"</p><p>"I didn't have sex with anyone. Calm down." Jensen shrugged. "Anyway, I wasn't feeling any of it. I wanted to go home. Like home, home. But-" she chuckled, "I remembered thinking, 'I didn't know where home was anymore.' I felt very lost."</p><p>Jensen pulls Charlie to him. She followed, straddling his hips and sitting up over him. She moved down for a moment, laying against him as she takes his lips for a deep kiss. Pulling away, Jensen cradles her face, looking her in the eyes, telling her to continue.</p><p>"This one guy was super insistent. Long story short Maggie-" she shamefully looked at him.</p><p>"Really, you're embarrassed? Have you not been paying attention to me and my friendships?"</p><p>Charlie laughed. Touché. "Maggie found me at the bar, clearly trying to dodge him. She came up, right in the middle of him talking, and started kissing me, as if he didn't exist, making the dude back off. The end."</p><p>She went to move off of him to get off the bed, but Jensen stopped her. Keeping her straddled-on top of him.</p><p>"No, no, no. Don't vaguely drop the details and try to scurry off. I wanna know, and I have a feeling it's more than a simple kiss at a bar."</p><p>"The whole thing was something we did it from time to time as an excuse. Never kissing but, stupid shit. I mean, girls do it. Dance with one another, hold hands. Kiss. Purely platonic. But that night when she kissed me. I didn't shy away from it. I wasn't cringing, waiting for it to end. I moved into it, and so did she. I know it was because I was emotionally vulnerable, drinking, and Maggie was someone, the only one, I confided in, but… I don't know, I just went for it."</p><p>"Went for it?"</p><p>"We kissed or hooked up. Whatever it's called these days. Then I freaked out. Left the bar, got home to find her. We got into an argument, both of us still drunk. Then… I kissed her again, but I started crying. I woke up the next day in her bed. I cried some more. And we both pretty much agreed, It was a mistake, and it should never have happened."</p><p>"Did she want more?"</p><p>"No. It really wasn't like that."</p><p>"Then what?"</p><p>"It wasn't anything. Everything going on in my life at the time, I craved affection, and apparently, at that moment in time, I craved it from her. I was traumatized after Matt; I couldn't trust anyone. If we were to have ever hooked up, that wouldn't have been a good time and had been sober, it would have never happened. We were cool after. There was never any awkward whatever. Since then, we've been pretty transparent with one another. Shortly after that-"</p><p>"She met Derrick."</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"And he was cool in the beginning. I even liked him. I introduced them unintentionally, and Maggie calmed down and dated him for a few years. She was very smitten at first."</p><p>"And the kiss?"</p><p>"For me, the kiss was because I was scared to lose her. It wasn't attraction. It was driven by pure fear. I lost a lot. My sanity, my respect, the one person who wasn't supposed to ever leave, chose to leave me in the worst way. And then there was the whole preg-" Charlie stopped herself before she finished the word. Jensen sits up, cradling Charlie's body to him. Letting her finish. "I couldn't lose Maggie. That's why I kissed her."</p><p>"When Matt died…" Jensen looks down for a second then back up to her. He didn't know how to even say it. Charlie looked at him, hoping he didn't catch on. "Were you pregnant?"</p><p>Her face fell. She never wanted Jensen to know this. She never wanted anyone, other than Maggie, to know this. Charlie looks down at her hands and nods. Once again, feeling the shame and regret, she tried holding back.</p><p>Jensen moved closer to her face, cradling her cheek, making her look at him. "Hey. You don't-. I'm sorry. I know that must have been hard. I just, couldn't fathom it."</p><p>"I never talked about it," she said, looking at him, tears beginning to fill her eyes, "How can I? What I did… people wouldn't understand."</p><p>"I know I wasn't there. But, if it makes you feel better, I get it."</p><p>"It wasn't like that." She sniffled; Jensen wiped her tears. "I would never just get rid of it. I didn't know I was pregnant until I started getting horrible migraines and really sharp pain in my back. Went to the doctors and found out. Went a whole week trying to figure it all out, deciding to keep it and ended up learning it was ectopic." She looks at him as he looked confused. "That's when the embryo attaches to an area of the womb not suited to grow and nurture a growing baby. And had I kept it, there was a pretty high chance it would've proven fatal for me. So, I had to get a medical abortion. I didn't have a choice, even though, legally, I had to choose. And I know my choice was justified, but… that… shattered me. I wasn't the same after that. I told you. There are a lot of things about myself that I hate, about my past I regret. I will never see this person you want me to be because to me, I have too much to answer for."</p><p>"Charlie," he sighed. "Your fiancé, the person you devoted yourself to, killed himself." She flinched at the words. "I'm sorry to have said it, but I needed to. Then what weeks after that, you find out you were pregnant with his kid. There isn't a book on how to handle grief. Let alone grief with the impending knowledge of having to be a parent alone. I'm not a woman. I cannot possibly fathom how that feels in the slightest. But I am a father, and the idea…" he shook his head. "I'm not going to tell you to love yourself, even though more than ever I think you should. But at the very least, forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could do, having gone through what you've gone through, you made it through the other side, and you're all the better for it. You think I'm perfect? I'm not. I had to learn too. I have my regrets, even though I don't talk about them. I wouldn't change a fucking thing about my past. Life isn't about who can get to the finish line with the cleanest record. It's about getting to the finish line and appreciating the good and bad, everything that led you to that point. They're lessons. At the end of the day, all that shit made you who you are. And I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I love who you are. I love the woman you have become. She's a trailblazer, and when you allow yourself to be, letting the fear subside, you're fucking badass. You're awesome. And I know, if you hadn't gone through what you'd done through, you wouldn't be here. We're all making it through, babe, some more than others. Take that shit as a battle wound, just like that tattoo. Let it be a reminder but never a burden."</p><p>"Thank you," was all Charlie could say.</p><p>"I'll never judge you for that. Or anything before me. Just like you'd never judge me. All I can imagine is how horrible that must have been for you."</p><p>"I swear, the whole process is designed to make you regret ever opening your legs. Even being medically necessary, the indecency. I went right on the shot after. Never missed a fucking dose since. Guess you can also get why there was very little love in my life. If at all, very few and far between. I don't know. I just never want to go through that again."</p><p>"Did you ever want kids?" Jensen asked, curious to what she would say.</p><p>Charlie looked at him, a little taken back by the question. She hadn't thought about that in a long time. "Sure. I did at one point. I let that idea go a long time ago, though. I'll settle for being the cool aunt." She smiles, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>Jensen didn't know why, but that answer saddened him. Charlie didn't let go of the dream as a choice. She lost hope in it all together. This beautiful creature, so gentle and loving. He knew, if Charlie had ever been a mother, she would have probably been a great one.</p><p>"And here I thought we had no secrets, Maeson."</p><p>"No, I said none that affect our relationship. And those are pretty much it. The whole kit and caboodle…But also, not really secrets. What exactly does knowing any of that do for you?"</p><p>"I don't know. You and Maggie, that's pretty saucy."</p><p>"You can see why I didn't wanna tell you that tidbit of information, right?"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because now that I've planted the seed, it's going to grow. You're going to think about it."</p><p>"No," he said, unconvincingly.</p><p>"Guess it's only fair. I do have you and Misha to think about, and that actually happened." She moved down to graze her nose against his. "Oh, the thoughts."</p><p>"Oh, jeez."</p><p>"You know what makes it all the better?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm finally past episode one of season four." She smiles. "You two. Awe, the meet-cute."</p><p>"There is no meet-cute."</p><p>"Oh, there was definitely a meet-cute."</p><p>"That's it!"</p><p>Jensen tightens his arms around Charlie. Spinning her around and onto the bed, making her laugh and giggle loudly under him as he pins her down, biting and nibbling at her neck and collar bone.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. You Can’t Always Get What You Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"You can't always get what you want<br/>But if you try sometimes you just might find<br/>You just might find<br/>You get what you need”<br/>-The Rolling Stones</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Charlie awoke to what she thought was the sound of her name. When she opened her eyes and looked around, she realized it was the middle of the night, the stars were still out, and she was in bed with Jensen. Charlie looked over at him for a few seconds, thinking maybe he was talking, but he was fast asleep and quiet. She must have imagined it in her sleep. Completely wide awake now, she checked her phone for the time.</p><p>--4:48 AM--</p><p><strong><em>Jensen should be up for work in a little. Maybe I'll grab a shower before since I'm up… </em></strong>She looked over at him, seeing he was resting peacefully and asleep. Charlie smiled at how adorable he was when he slept. When she went into the bathroom, brushing her teeth, getting ready to jump into the shower quietly as not to wake Jensen. She was taken back when she heard her name again.</p><p>Charlie froze in place, walking over to the bathroom door and watching Jensen. <strong><em>Is he awake? </em></strong>She walked over to him, but he was fast asleep.</p><p>“Or, Is he saying my name in his sleep?" She smiled wide at the possibility, feeling flattered.</p><p>
  <em>"Charlie," Jensen says, voice desperate, with his eyes closed.</em>
</p><p><strong><em>Yup. Awe. He must be dreaming about me.</em></strong> Jensen gripped Charlie's pillow, she could only assume, to grab for her, but she wasn’t there. Suddenly she felt bad for getting out of bed. So, Charlie slid back in, letting him take her in his arms and hold her tightly. She even felt Jensen’s body relax when he felt her against him. She smiled to herself, enjoying whatever this little moment was. Brushing her lips against the skin of his arm, wrapped protectively around her neck and chest. She couldn’t help but feel at full peace at that moment.</p><p>But Charlie was wide awake, lying in a moonlit room waiting for Jensen to wake up. As she laid, she could feel his morning wood press firmly into her backside. Making it even more difficult when he moved, pushing himself into her even more. Tried as she did to resist it, the little fucker did things to her. All she wanted to do was wake him up and let him fuck her senseless again.</p><p><strong><em>No, let him sleep, Charlie</em></strong>. <strong><em>He needs his rest</em></strong>. She turned around in his arms, facing him. Seeing his gentle features perfectly in the moonlight. She plants a little kiss on his lips, and in his sleep, he smiled a bit, and it melted Charlie's heart. <strong><em>He’s precious.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie laid there the rest of the time, watching him sleep, knowing his alarm would be going off soon. So, she patiently waited for him to wake. She mulled over something in her head. Unsure if she wanted to do it, but when his alarm started to chime, she immediately shut it off.</p><p>Charlie knew Jensen allotted himself time for snoozing this morning since it was Monday. So, she knew she had time. Softly pulling herself from his hold, as not to wake him, she moved slowly down the bed, being sneaky.</p><p>Wanting the full element of surprise, Charlie crept under the blankets, freeing his morning hard-on and taking it into her mouth, devouring him. As she sucked hard but slowly up and down, she felt him move around on the bed, but couldn’t see anything with the blankets covering her, so she kept going. When she heard him moaning, his breathing picks up, and he pushed her head down on him under the blanket, she knew he was awake.</p><p>Jensen moved the blanket off him to find Charlie with his dick in her mouth and a brilliant gleam in her eyes. She wanted to say hi, but she didn't want to pull away. Instead, she sped up, making Jensen's head fall hard against the pillow.</p><p>Charlie wasn't going for theatrics. She worked him up and down, determined. Trying to get him to that endpoint. She looked at him as she sucked him until he unraveled beneath her, cumming hard, and Charlie licks him clean.</p><p>As he laid on the bed, breathing and trying to get his thoughts together, Charlie climbed onto him, straddling his hips.</p><p>“Morning, <em>sir.</em>” She said the little play name with a tone. “It’s your 5:30 wake up call.”</p><p>Jensen hums, still breathing heavily, looking back at her in awe. When he catches his breath again, he begins to laugh. "Don't know how to say thank you. Nice to wake up to that on a Monday morning." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. "Thank you." He kisses her. "For waking me up and for the <em>sleepy-head</em>." He smiles wide.</p><p>She bit her lip. “So, it was okay?”</p><p>He chuckled. "It was amazing. They're always amazing.” He kisses her again.</p><p>“I was mulling it over. Nervous it would be, like, a consent thing, but…,” Charlie giggles. "Hmm. I couldn't help it. You were saying my name, and the little guy just kept poking and poking, I had no choice but to submit.” She kisses him again but hard this time, letting him taste himself.</p><p>Jensen moans into her mouth, then pulls away, laughing a bit. “You think I wouldn’t consent to you blowing me? What man wouldn’t want to wake up with their girlfriend's mouth around their throbbing dick in the morning?" he laughs some more, and Charlie shrugs. "You said I was saying your name?”</p><p>"Yeah. I think you woke me up. But it was so low. I woke up to you asleep, so I thought it was one of those things your brain does to make you wake up. But at that point, I was up. Then you said it a couple more times and started grabbing at pillows, so I climbed back into bed. And well, little <em>Jensen Jr.</em> came out to play.”</p><p>He laughs again, "God, you're perfect. All I wanna do is fuck you right now."</p><p>She leans in, grazing her lips on his as a tease. “Well, someone has big boy duties, so maybe later.”</p><p>“But you’re leaving me later.”</p><p>"Tonight. You'll see me before I leave."</p><p>"Then we won't see each other for weeks.” He pouts. <strong><em>Again, precious.</em></strong></p><p>Charlie laughed and pulled back, sitting on him. "You do have work, though. I didn't mean to distract you or make you late. Just wanted to give you a morning delight. Start your Monday off good." She smiles, then rolls off him and off the bed.</p><p>“I actually wanted to spend some time together in Vegas. Go sight-seeing and stuff. You up for that?”</p><p>“Yes, please. Just give me like a good ten minutes, get me off. I’ll be good to go.”</p><p>“Really?" He laughs back at her.</p><p>"I told you, Ackles. I went a while without any or bad, or whatever. Now that I got it and it’s great sex attached to a great man, I'm strung out."</p><p>Jensen gets up, pulling her to him again, giving her a deep, wet, and knee-weakening kiss. Leaving Charlie lightheaded for a moment.</p><p>“Good. That’s exactly where I want you,” Jensen said against her lips, giving her another peck before letting her go.</p><p>The two showered together, Jensen heading off to work and Charlie staying behind. The day went by quickly, and Jensen was home by eight. They had dinner at a restaurant on the harbor. Trying to spend time together before Jensen had to drop her off at the airport. The goodbye was bittersweet, but they reminded each other, they only had to wait a few weeks. So, Charlie kissed him goodbye in the tinted black SUV before hopping out, boarding her flight, and heading off to New York.</p><p>As the weeks followed, the two got back into their grind. Jensen worked, did his auditions or post SPN plans, with meetings in LA. A lot of top-secret stuff no one knew about. He gave Charlie some details, making her promise to be tight-lipped about it. The rest of the time he spent in Texas with JJ or working on whatever projects. He and Danneel's relationship began to mellow out, and the two began to work toward a co-parenting dynamic.</p><p>Jensen eventually opened up to Danneel. He even admitted Charlie wanted to meet her. Danneel was taken back that her legally separated husband was going steady with another woman, and now, the woman wanted to meet her.</p><p>“I’m not saying I don’t want to meet her; I-I guess I wasn’t expecting her to want to meet me.”</p><p>"I wasn't expecting it either. This isn't some way to flaunt us. She just wants to ensure a healthy relationship for everyone, but mainly JJ."</p><p>"JJ?"</p><p>"She knows everything," Jensen admitted.</p><p>“Everything? Like, everything, everything?”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Like me, you and Misha?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And she is okay with it?"</p><p>"I think for the most part, yes. But that's why Charlie wants to meet you and Vicky. Especially with Misha pushing to have her work with the board."</p><p>"Vicky? … Oh, right. <em>That.</em> Jesus, Jay."</p><p>"What I did after you… I'm sorry you have no fucking right to judge me."</p><p>"I'm not judging you, Jensen, but Vicky? Could you have made this shit any more complicated?"</p><p>"No, <em>Hun</em>. You made it complicated. I was just picking up the pieces of what you left behind. Yes, Vicky. I know this is weird, but Charlie is trying to be respectable. She’s being thrown into this and she needs things to be amicable. She understands there was a life we shared and a daughter we both will continue to raise together. I don't know where this is going, Dee, and I know it's unexpected, but I'm happy with this girl, and if she has my daughter's best interests at heart, who am I to argue with her. Do I like this? … no. Not at all. You and I just got on good terms, and I feel like this could tip us back. But I have to respect her wishes, and I have to respect her effort. She even said it didn't have to be now, but we're getting serious, and it'll have to happen.”</p><p>Danneel mulled it over, looking over at JJ in the next room. "Okay. If you think this is what's best and it's good for JJ, then I'm fine with it."</p><p>"I gotta be honest, you're taking this far better than I expected."</p><p>"Why? I knew about Charlie. Hell, I knew of her existence before you even set eyes on her. As awkward as the conversation was, Misha told me the circumstances. He needed my okay to bring her on."</p><p>"I know. I was just expecting a reaction of some kind. I'm sorry, I assumed the worst.”</p><p>Danneel nodded, looking at him, sensing something in Jensen. “You seem… different. I don’t know what it is. You’re… calmer.” She looked him up and down, crossing her legs to the side. “You really like this chick, don’t you?”</p><p>He smiled, thinking about Charlie, "Yes."</p><p>"Hmm."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Nothing. Just never saw it happening, is all. Not yet anyway. But I’m happy for you, Jay. Truly. I have my feelings, as to be expected and I know shit with us is… well, <em>that, shit</em>. But at the very least, I can support you in moving on with your life. If meeting with her helps you and helps JJ, then… sure." She shrugged.</p><p>"Thank you?" Jensen said, feeling like there was a catch.</p><p>"I can't promise the conversation will end on a positive note, but I will try.”</p><p>"Dee..."</p><p>"I'm not saying I'm going to start shit. I'm not, but I'm not going to kiss her ass. She’s wedged into all this enough. She's got you and Misha wrapped around her little finger. At least, that’s the impression I get from the girls."</p><p>"Jesus. What are you three, the gossip brigade?"</p><p>"No, they actually seem… keen to her. Open-minded. Genn didn't mean to dish. I got it out of her. And from what she tells me, she hasn't met Charlie yet, but Jared seems to like her. Vicky says the same with Misha. She only told me because Misha’s hiring her for the position within the company, the position that was mine.” She glared at Jensen.</p><p>“That was before we even met. Before <em>I</em> even knew who, Charlie was.”</p><p>“Well, she felt a conversation needed to be had between us, given the circumstances. Vicky and I hadn’t spoken since… the incident. And on top of everything else, you're right, I need to make sure, if you are going to be bringing her around my daughter, I need to approve of her."</p><p>"Really? I’m pretty sure you’ve done your light stalking on her. I can’t imagine your opinion of her would fall short of acceptable. What is this anyway? I need to run it past you when it comes to who I date and bring around my daughter?"</p><p>"Our daughter. And I'm not saying what I did was an exception. I know I was wrong. Does that mean you get to make the same mistake? That you get to have whoever around Justice, and I'm just supposed to be okay with it?" Danneel asked. Her tone serious and with slight irritation.</p><p>"No, it doesn't. But I feel like it’s more than your regard for <em>our daughter</em>. <em>This</em>, this is exactly why she wanted to do this. To avoid this shit. This petty squabble. At the end of the day, the person who gets affected by our shit <em>is Justice.</em> Charlie's going into this with the intent of making peace before drama or whatever even begins. Knowing full well there is a possibility you won’t play nice, and there isn't shit she can do about it."</p><p>"What's that even mean?"</p><p>“It means, she knows her place. She knows <em>your say </em>affects everything. That I'm still legally married to you. That no matter what, no matter where this relationship takes us, you're the part of my past I’ll never get rid of. You're close to everyone in my life, and if a relationship were to ever get there, she’s going to have to find a place in it, <em>after you</em>. I feel like, no matter what, you're going into this automatically wanting to hate her."</p><p>"I don't hate her. I don't know her."</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m doing.”</p><p>“No?” Jensen seethed, clearly annoyed but keeping himself in check.</p><p>"You know Vicky thinks Misha wants to fuck Charlie.” She said, knowing it would fuck with him. “Is that the plan, Jay? To replace me<em>?</em>”</p><p>"God, no. And what's that supposed to mean? You act like I'm the one that initiated that shit. You wanted Misha! I was just giving you what you wanted." Jensen's voice was raised a bit. He stopped himself, realizing that's what she wanted.</p><p>“And? It was Misha. Oh, I forgot, I corrupted you. I made you do all those nasty, <em>nasty</em> things.” She says with conviction. “Please." She spits. "Just like you wanted that shit with me. You want that shit with her too. <em>I </em>may have awoken that part of you, but you think you're just going to shoe It away into a closet, and there it'll stay? Keep dreamin’. All though, I’ll admit I kinda miss it. You and Mish.” She bit her bottom lip. “Hm. Good times.”</p><p>"Yes. Because me doing that was a married man's failed and final effort to please his wife, knowing it would never happen."</p><p>"Sure, if thinking that is what gets you through the night. Sure. Shit, I'm already the bad guy, right? Why not…I’m not the one who’s lying to themselves."</p><p>"How are things with you and Jeremy," Jensen asked, knowing it was below the belt. Knowing things with her and her <em>lover</em> turned boyfriend isn't going well at all. Danneel looked at him, shocked he would even ask. “You’re ain’t the only one who gets their gossip from a Padalecki. It’s a two-way street.”</p><p>"They're fine."</p><p>"Just fine?" He taunts. “Better watch that man around my daughter.”</p><p>"They're good, Jay. Drop it.”</p><p>“Whatever you say.” He threw his hands up, knowing he won this little throw-down. “I’ll give you Charlie’s number and her yours. You two can reach out to each other. I'll let her know. Should you feel the need to enlighten her, please do. Because at this point, Dee, I have nothing to hide. And if I did, let it out. I don’t care."</p><p>"Sounds good,” Danneel returned in a sarcastic tone.</p><p>While in Arizona, Charlie learned Maggie got the Amblin job. She wasn't set to start until the third week of October. The weekend before the Eagles concert, Maggie was fully moved out. And as one last hoorah, she and Charlie road-tripped from Tacoma to her place in Burbank.</p><p>All the way there, Maggie attempted to persuade her friend to stay in LA, at least until she found a new place, but Charlie refused.</p><p>"It's okay, Mags. It's time for me to move on with my life, and it's time for you to move on with yours. You love LA, It’s your scene. Stay, have fun, and network. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."</p><p>"And if you're not?"</p><p>"I will tell you. I promise."</p><p>Maggie looked at her, not buying it. "Just makes me nervous."</p><p>Charlie laughed. "And I get it. Trust me, but I tried the LA thing remember."</p><p>"You haven't even figured out where you're going to go."</p><p>“I’m going to go home.”</p><p>"You said you were going to leave, move out, possibly leave Tacoma?”</p><p>"Yeah." Charlie looked off to the road as Maggie drove. "I'm just kinda waiting to figure it out at the moment."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>“Why what?<br/>“Why are you waiting to figure it out?</p><p>“I don’t know.” Charlie said, tired of having to think at all.</p><p>"You don't know?" Maggie asked, a little irritated.</p><p>Charlie looks at her, irritation met. "Yes, Maggie, I DON’T KNOW. Because I still have the apartment for at least another six weeks. If I leave, I have to give the manager 30 days' notice. I can’t leave if I have nothing lined up. You didn't have to deal with this. I made sure you didn't have too, to make your transition to LA better.” Charlie rambles. “I'm in the middle of resigning and changing jobs. I have to finish a lot of projects. I'm traveling everywhere, helping my mother with her wedding, helping you move, and trying to be supportive. While, yes, also very upset that I'm losing you. At the same time, I'm trying to maintain a fucking new relationship with a fucking celebrity who basically lives in a different country. While, <em>WHILE </em>also trying to sell my house, which is in a completely different state. I have no idea when that is going to happen because now there are repairs and additions or whatever the fuck Ronny keeps going on about. Then it's like, do I just move into a depressing old house, in the scorching sun, and avoid all this bullshit? A lot of shit is kinda happening at once. So, I don't know, Maggie. I don't know what I will be doing. Does that answer your question?”</p><p>Maggie looked at Charlie, then back at the road with a look of worry and revulsion. “We need to get you laid. Maybe add Texas to your itinerary instead of back to Tacoma this week. Just get all that frustration and bottled-up anger right out of you.”</p><p>"Oh fuck you."</p><p>“Anytime, babe.” Maggie teases.</p><p>Charlie looks at her, remembering her little conversation with Jensen. She looks at the window for a few minutes, thinking about it. “So, I told Jensen,” she admits.</p><p>“What that you’re driving down to Cali with me?”</p><p>"No. Well, yes, he knows. But, um, no. Not that." Charlie said, looking nervously at Maggie. <strong><em>She’s not going to know what I’m talking about.</em></strong> “Figured I’d jump the gun before you decided to tell him about my girl moment."</p><p>Maggie's head quickly turns to Charlie, surprised.</p><p>"Look at the road!" Charlie yells with laughter as Maggie swerves into another lane. "Jeez, Mags."</p><p>"Wait," she chuckles, "You told Jensen about out little tête-à-tête.”</p><p>Charlie rolls her eyes, looking out at the trees flying by again, "Yes. And about the baby…abortion, whatever it was."</p><p>Maggie sits back a bit, relaxing on the gas pedal. “Are you okay?”</p><p>"Yes." She keeps her eyes on the passenger window, avoiding whatever look Maggie was giving her.</p><p>“You wanna talk about it?”</p><p>"What is there to talk about?"</p><p>"Well, for one, after it happened, you never talked about it. Ever. It's like you locked it away and never mentioned it again. As far as I know, no one knows about that, except me.”</p><p>"Yeah.”</p><p>"It's not healthy, Charlie."</p><p>"Probably."</p><p>"But now Jensen knows?”</p><p>"Yes." She still looked out the window, taking in the view.</p><p>Maggie pauses, not knowing what to say. She knew Charlie avoided the subject because of how it broke her. She wasn't the same after that, and after Matt, not really. Not whole. Something in her died.</p><p>For a while after, she avoided the subject of babies, marriage, and Matt. Constantly being told she was too beautiful and caring to give up the pursuit of being a mother. And after a while, when she realized she couldn’t ignore it anymore. After all her friends got older, started getting married, and having kids, she swallowed that shit up. Pushing it deep inside herself, never letting it again see the light of day. At least, not until Jensen.</p><p>“Charlie…”</p><p>"It's fine, Maggie. I'm fine."</p><p>Maggie nodded, knowing she was ignoring the subject again. Maggie didn't want to push it. Not with knowing whatever would be brought up, Charlie had to go back home alone with that on her mind. “What did Jensen say?”</p><p>Charlie looked at her, "About what?"</p><p>"About us, or lack thereof. About everything?"</p><p>"He didn't care.”</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>"What about me?"</p><p>"Do you care that he knows? Can't imagine you just brought it up. I'm actually surprised you brought it up at all.”</p><p>"Yeah, well. Jensen was forthcoming with his past. I figured it was only fair."</p><p>"Ohh, anything juicy."</p><p>"Yes, but unfortunately, out of respect for my relationship and now boyfriend, I'm going to keep those little details to myself for the time being."</p><p>As the words came out of her mouth, Charlie felt low, she wanted to tell Maggie everything, but she didn't know-how. She didn't know what would come of it. There was also a small part of her that felt like if Charlie did tell Maggie, she was betraying Jensen's trust. A trust she knew didn't come lightly after everything with Danneel.</p><p>“Guess I can respect that? So, Jensen knows we went hot and heavy for a day.”</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "Literally half a day, but yes.”</p><p>"And now, what? He's going to have that image in his head?" Maggie laughs.</p><p>"Yup. Enjoy." Charlie smiles back. “Misha too eventually, I’m sure, and-and Jared.” She corrected. “They’re fucking schoolboys. Have the pleasure knowing your heartthrobs might be itching for it," she said sarcastically.</p><p>Maggie laughed out loud, throwing her head back. “I mean, you told him everything that happened and everything before?”</p><p>"You mean the part when you said if I ever gave you… what was it you said? Oh, right, a chance with this 'sweet little ass' you wouldn't pass it up. No, Maggie, I didn't tell him that little tidbit."</p><p>“I did not say it like that!” Maggie yelled.</p><p>Charlie gave her a death stare, "You did. More than once."</p><p>Maggie laughs, "I'm a hoot when I drink, you have to admit it."</p><p>Charlie laughs, "You're a troublemaker."</p><p>“And you’re a little vixen yourself, don’t play. It’s okay, Jensen will meet drunk Charlie one of these days. He’ll enjoy her very well.”</p><p>"I have no idea what you are talking about."</p><p>"Yeah, okay. We have a concert in a week. I'll get you drunk and cheeky, don't worry. It'll be a good time. Misha’s taking Olivia’s ticket, right?”</p><p>"Yeah, I switched it. Why isn't Liv coming? She said she loved the Eagles."</p><p>"She's in Toronto, last-minute thing. I'm just glad Misha could come. Get to spend some time with my favorite angel."</p><p>Charlie laughs, sitting back on the seat and thinking about the previous conversation she had with Misha.</p><p> </p><p>--TWO WEEKS EARLIER—</p><p>“Hiya, Charlie. So good to hear your voice. Feel like we haven’t spoken in a few days." Misha answers, his tone matching what Charlie hoped it would be when she decided to call him.</p><p>“Hi, Mish. I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy, but I wanted to call and make sure you were okay.”</p><p>"Me? Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?"</p><p>"You just seemed off when we met after the convention. Just seemed out of character for you, and to be honest, it kept bugging me and Olivia mentioned you’ve been kinda busy and overwhelmed.”</p><p>"I honestly don't even remember after the convention. With trying to find a replacement for Olivia, the show, planning the festivals, and everything else going on, I didn’t mean to come off anyway. If I was that way, it was probably more towards Jensen. Not that, <em>that </em>justifies it, but he has his moments. I’m sorry if It came off against you.”</p><p>"No, Mish. It's honestly fine. I was honestly just worried. Thought it might have been me. I asked Jensen, he said it was more his fault, Then I talked to Olivia and I just wanted to call. Finally had a second to call, so I’m calling.”</p><p>"You're the sweetest. With the show wrapping, traveling, and projects. I’m coming out with a cookbook with my wife, which has actually been causing a few hiccups.”</p><p>“I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t about Vicky. I didn’t want my request to be an imposition.”</p><p>"Oh, no. You're fine. I kinda forgot about that too. Jeez, my brain. Vick's up for it. I told her it wasn't a rush, gave her your number. I was going to give you hers, just haven't gotten around to it. I'll send it now. She did want me to mention, if a meet or call should happen, it should happen before the interview."</p><p>"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I’ll reach out to her. So, you’re losing Olivia?”</p><p>"Yeah, it's the end of the road with us. She starts school in the spring. She’s helping with the book publication, but come December, she's done. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to find a replacement. It’s actually becoming an issue.”</p><p>Charlie got a thought, "Would it be too much to make a recommendation? Someone who actually lives in Washington, if it helps.”</p><p>"Charlotte, as much as I would love to have you as my assistant, you are far too valuable for that.”</p><p>She laughed. "Oh, I would be an awesome assistant. But I was going to recommend my assistant Celeste. I even thought about bringing her on as my personal assistant, like paying her. Or see if she could come with me to RA, but I didn't know if that was an option. If you love how meticulous I am, let me just say, she is a godsend. I would lose my brain at work if it weren’t for her.”</p><p>“Well, it sounds to me like we should bring her over to Random Acts.”</p><p>"I was going to ask that during my interview. But I know that was a matter of pay and stuff, so, figured I’d wait.”</p><p>"Hm. Send me her info, ill reach out to her and talk to HR. See if there is anything I can do. If you're giving her a good word, she's worth a call. We can talk about it later. I know you're still in the MAP mindset."</p><p>Charlie beamed. "Yay. She's great. I promise. When she got hired, I took her in immediately, and she's been my assistant ever since. Taught her everything I know. Hard worker, the works. Just give her a call.”</p><p> </p><p>--PRESENT, WEST COAST, CALIFORNIA--</p><p>When the girls finally got to California, they took some time to hang out on the coast, pressing their hands and feet into the warm sand. Sunbathing and talking about the good times they had. They were both upset but knew the paths they were taking needed to be taken. Charlie was surprisingly more together than Maggie. Partially because she had been doing so much crying beforehand, she was able to keep it together now.</p><p>Charlie stayed the weekend in LA. Helping Maggie settle in, meeting her roommates, and going out that Saturday. Besides the concert, they didn’t know when they would get a chance to be wild and free together. Maggie was going to be getting busy soon on locations for filming and production. Charlie was going to be starting a new job, eventually.</p><p>They went into the weekend with the knowledge that it was sort of the end of the road for Maggie and Charlie. It was five years of fun and support. Both being each other’s rock, knowing at the end of the day, they had to go their separate ways and live their life.</p><p>Maggie just worried about what that meant for Charlie. She worried about sending her friend off to Tacoma, the rainiest and dampest state in the US. Maggie knew Charlie would never do something drastic. She would never stoop so low or be so desperate, but she knew Charlie always felt the need to hold everything in. The only reason she opened up to Maggie was because she was there, in her face every day making her. Maggie worried, leaving Charlie behind was a bad idea. But she also knew she couldn't hold her hand forever. She knew being there was what Charlie needed, but she also knew staying around held Charlie back. She made a reminder to herself to give Jensen a call after she left, just to touch base and make sure he's keeping tabs on their girl.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Las Vegas Nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Don't go now, desert flower<br/>Cause you just won't bloom<br/>And your memories made need more room”<br/>-Hootie &amp; the Blowfish</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Monday following Maggie moving to LA, Charlie got a flight to Seattle-Tacoma, landing around six in the morning. When she got to the apartment, she felt an overwhelming sense of heaviness. She dreaded this moment, walking into the apartment alone, without Maggie. Especially with the knowledge, Maggie wasn't coming back.</p><p>When she took the elevator to the top floor, walking out into the foyer, getting hit in the face with that familiar scent of her and Maggie, she crumbled.</p><p>She walked into the apartment in tears, her entire body shaking as she walked over to her desk chair as it sat alone and inadequate in the giant office space. Charlie was bent over, pressing her hands to her heart and trying to breathe to fill the void. Feeling the hole in her heart and the anger, sadness, and crippling fear she felt.</p><p>She knew she had to let her go. She knew one day Maggie would leave. She also knew that moment would be the worst. But having it be here, finally being in <em>that moment</em>, knowing and preparing didn't make it any better, or easier for that matter. Charlie finally felt the loneliness she had been trying to avoid for so long.</p><p>Even though Charlie knew, all she had to do was get on a plane and fly to wherever she wanted to be. If it was in California with her family, or her Maggie, her Jensen, she couldn't shake the loss. Because it wasn't just about Maggie, not really, it was about the band-aid that Maggie became and the damage she held at bay. So now that she was gone, that wound she patched for years, never properly healing, just clotting and waiting for its moment, for air. Just to start bleeding again.</p><p>And as she sat in her office chair, looking around to find all the little holes here and there where Maggie's things were, something in her snapped. Charlie smashed all the stuff on her desk, including her Macintosh desktop. Throwing them across the room destroying all of it. She walked to the walls, grabbing the pictures of her and Matt, college and memories, her mother and siblings, her diplomas and achievements. Everything in the past seven years she held onto, flying all around the room. Finally, going over to the vinyl player that was Matt's. The one she never allowed anyone to touch because he loved that thing so much. She picked it up and slammed it to the ground. Taking all his vinyl’s and snapping them in half. Not thinking, just overcome with rage and the need to balance the damage inside of her.</p><p>When she destroyed all she could, she walked over to Maggie's room. Falling onto her bed, crying, smelling her familiar scent and crying some more. Feeling encapsulated in every emotion she ignored. Every mistake. Every memory. And all the while, missing her best friend.</p><p>When she turned her head to rest it against the back of her palm, Charlie saw Maggie’s closet door open and, in the closet, shirts were hanging. She got up, all sniffily, her face wet with tears, walking over to the closet and seeing an array of about eight perfectly ironed and color-coordinated shirts. And on the last shirt, there was a note pinned that read…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>CHARLIE,</p>
  <p>Soo, I know I used to annoy you with taking your collection of band shirts over the years. And I know that I said I lost most of them, but I didn’t. They just always reminded me of you. Also, I wanted to feel as cool as you. I was going to give them back, but… needed something of yours, and, well… you love your band shirts. ;)</p>
  <p>So, I figured it was only fair I bought you new ones. Not as soft and sweet-smelling from years of wearing, but nothing some machine-washing can't do. Now, when you wear them, they can remind you of me.</p>
  <p>Xoxo,</p>
  <p>
    <strong> <em>Maggie</em> </strong>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>P.S. I couldn't say this in person. Cause, well... I'm me. </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>TURN ME OVER</em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>I know you think you’ve held me back these 5 years, but you haven’t. You were always, always my north star, C. Being there for you all these years will never amount to the love, respect, and support you have given to me since we were kids. I love you more than you know, and I miss you already.</p>
  <p>I’m not leaving you, and you’re not losing me. Whoever I am, wherever I am, <em>I will always be there</em>. I PROMISE. Just call.</p>
  <p><em>And, most of all…</em>Thank you for being my rock, even when you were lost, broken, and sad. You never let me down. You never, not once, lost hope in me, even when I gave you plenty of chances to.</p>
  <p>
    <em>And for that, my love, I owe you the world.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Love always, </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong><em>Your </em> <em>Maggie</em></strong>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><p>As she read the note, she moved back to sit on the bed, tears beginning to swell and fall down her face. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to Charlie, and it gave her the positivity she needed to face this head-on. So, she took a deep breath, walking regretfully into the once shared living room, and began to clean up her mess. Anything Maggie left behind she kept. <strong><em>Maybe she left them behind for me.</em></strong> Anything that belonged to Matt that Charlie held onto over the years, she boxed up and planned on sending away with the ring whenever she got around to it.</p><p>She regretted her little moment of violent outrage and taking it out on her things… Matt’s things.Being in that apartment, knowing no one was going to come home and ask why there was glass, computer pieces and crap everywhere, she was filled with overwhelming anger. What made it worse was, the person she needed to be angry towards wasn’t around. He was gone, never to hear her words, her cries, her screams. Gone forever. So, she cleaned her mess up, fixing what she could. Crying as she saw the damage she did to items she kept so close to her heart over the years. Knowing it was an unhealthy reaction to the root of the problem. But, keeping hope, that letting them go in the end gave her the opportunity to move on.</p><p>Charlie took Maggie leaving as a clean sleight. She wasn’t broken and battered Charlie anymore. She couldn’t be that person anymore, and life didn't suck as much anymore. She was in a good place. She was finally, even if sad about it, on her own. All the changes in her life were hard to bear but a blessing in disguise. So, she took them for what they were worth. She acknowledged that her life could be worse. She reminded herself that life <em>was</em> worse.</p><p>As she boxed up her apartment, putting her memories, good and bad, in boxes preparing for her next chapter in life, she knew everything she went through brought her here. And as much as it hurt, burned, and scarred her, she acknowledged what Jensen said to her weeks ago… she needed to be grateful for it because as much as she lost a lot, her life now was in abundance.</p><p>Charlie was loved, and she knew that for sure. She was financially stable and needed for nothing. She was healthy, and for the most part, she could admit, beautiful in her own way. She <em>had</em> a job she hated for the longest time, but now she was prospectively starting a new one and was excited about it. She’s in a relationship with a great guy, and as much as she’s nervous about where that goes, or if it goes anywhere, she’s happy that she had one at all.</p><p> </p><p>Over the following week Charlie started getting the apartment packed and organized and moved into a storage unit. Deciding wherever she went, she didn't want to be in that apartment anymore, and she didn't want to be in the Seattle-Tacoma area either. Too many memories. And seeing as though the main thing that kept her in Washington was consistency and her home office, after leaving MAP and Maggie leaving, nothing anchored her there.</p><p>Settling for moving into her house while it gets renovated and if need be, do an Airbnb or stay with Jensen, which he kept asking for. Charlie didn't want to just deny him, but it felt too close to ‘<em>moving in together’</em>, and she felt like they weren’t there yet. She did, however, make plans to visit Jensen in Texas. Especially with Charlie and Danneel’s undiscussed future meeting, she knew she was going to have to meet her in Texas. At the very least as a peaceful gesture, not wanting Danneel to have to come to her. And an interview with Random Acts was scheduled for the first week of November in LA, giving Charlie a couple of weeks after she resigns with MAP for good.</p><p>Before she knew it, Vegas weekend came, and that Friday, Charlie met Maggie at the hotel mid-day shopping and exploring, both at ease. Maggie filled Charlie in on everything while they were away from each other. Maggie hadn't officially started Amblin but was in constant contact with producers, planning logistics with her schedule for their upcoming project that was currently in pre-production. Charlie admitted she had an emotional fit after she got home, smashing all of Matt's stuff, but became grounded when she found the shirts. After everything was said, Maggie was a bit glad to see Charlie in good spirits.</p><p>Jensen and Misha weren’t scheduled to touch down until later in the night. After they finished filming, they would hop on a plane to Vegas for the weekend. Charlie, feeling a bit relaxed, began to join Maggie in drinking at the bar, wanting to have a Vegas experience for once. They took shots while laughing and talking. Charlie watched her phone, waiting for Jensen to let her know they landed. Feeling more and more anxious as the night went on. The time kept getting closer and closer to a new day, and Charlie kept drinking to get her mind off it.</p><p>The two ladies stood in the lounge area of the bar. They were having a conversation with an older couple, who were also attending the Eagles concert the following night. Charlie was startled when she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist. She let out a scream, turning around, about to smack the crap out of them until she saw Misha smiling at her.</p><p>Charlie finishes turning her body to find Jensen looking tasty and handsome, smiling as he looks down at her. He was wearing a hat with a band shirt Charlie couldn’t recognize and a dark blue hoodie with her favorite fitting jeans. His eyes were a bit concealed in the dark lighting under the hat, but she could see the excitement in them.</p><p>"Ahhhh!" she yelled with enthusiasm throwing her arms around his neck, not waiting a second longer before she slammed her lips against his. Jensen laughed into the kiss as Charlie began to kiss him hard, pushing them into the pillar behind him. He was kinda taken off guard, not used to Charlie being so aggressive, or drinking for that matter. He put his hands on her cheeks, making Charlie pull away, biting her lip as he does, still very much wanting more.</p><p>"Hey, you," he said, filling her with pure happiness.</p><p>"Hi!" Charlie replies, elated and glowing. She smacks his arm, “You were supposed to tell me when you boarded. I got worried.” Then moved into his neck for a second, smelling him. “God, you smell so good. I wanna eat you up right here and now.” She bites her lip.</p><p>“Easy baby, there’s plenty of time for that,” Jensen replied, giving her a light chuckle and a quick kiss again before turning his attention to Maggie. </p><p>“What’s up, Mags?”</p><p>“Hey, Jensen,” she said, smiling at the two of them and loving it.</p><p>“Couldn’t hold the drinks?” he asked her with a smile, and Maggie shrugged.</p><p>"Could have, but kinda figured she needed it."</p><p>Jensen nodded; he couldn’t argue with her. He looks back down at Charlie, her arms were tight around his waist, securing him to her, but her eyes were everywhere, looking for Misha.</p><p>"He was here. Where did he go?" she asked.</p><p>"To get us drinks.”</p><p>Charlie sees Misha, drinks in hand, talking to the Eagle’s couple. She leaves Jensen's arms and runs to him, hugging him tightly.</p><p>“Dmitri!” Charlie says into his neck! Misha laughs and hugs her back, giving her a peck on the cheek.</p><p>"Hi, Charlie. Thanks for the invite. Needed to blow off some steam, in Vegas no less."</p><p>“Awe, you’re very welcome. Thank you for coming.”</p><p>"Let me know what I owe you for the tickets. Can't imagine they were cheap."</p><p>“Nooo. No worries. You got me next time." She said, smiling wide.</p><p>Jensen walked over to them, wrapping his arms around Charlie again. The four had a couple drinks before leaving the bar. Jensen, however, cut her off at one, much to her dismay. He even tried not to be too affectionate in front of Misha and Maggie, trying not to be rude. However, Charlie was evidently intoxicated, and that apparently made her blatantly horny. Between that and Maggie egging her on, Jensen had to get her out of there.</p><p>“You guys cool if we hit the hay?” Jensen asked Misha and Maggie as they talked about hitting the slots before kicking it for the night.</p><p>"Oh no, go ahead. I'll keep Maggie company. Make sure she gets to her room safe." Misha said.</p><p>Maggie holds her mouth together, knowing, exactly, what they're about to go do. “You too be safe up there.”</p><p>Jensen rolls his eyes, making her laugh at him. Charlie was kissing Misha on the cheek then moved to squeeze his cheeks.</p><p>“Mishhhaaa, you’re so adorable. I saw your baby photo the other day on Instagram. You were the cutest. Those little Misha cheeks, so scrumptious. You're little baby lips. Ahhh, I just wanna kiss 'em'!" Charlie said, still holding his face, moving it side to side, pushing his lips out. All the while Misha just laughed at her, finding her mood entertaining. “Mags, isn’t he so adorable?” </p><p>“OOOOkay.” Jensen interjects. “She’s obviously enjoyed her whiskey’s. I’m going to get her to bed. Sorry to dump each other on, well, each other."</p><p>Maggie and Misha shrug, both unbothered. “Call if you guys need anything. If not, I'll call you in the morning."</p><p>Jensen nodded at Misha before taking Charlie's hand and pulling her to the elevators.</p><p>"Bye, guys. Sorry, girl and guy. Girl power! I miss you!" Charlie says and blows a kiss in their direction. “Be good! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She giggled. “That’s probably not good advice coming from me.”</p><p> Maggie and Misha begin to laugh as Jensen tries to hold in his own laughter as well.</p><p>"Don't laugh at me. I'm a funny and affectionate drunk," Charlie pouts. "Yeah, I can hear myself now. I need to shut up…Shut up, Charlie." She tells herself.</p><p>Jensen finally lets out a laugh. Giving her a kiss on the top of her head as they walked. “You are too funny.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Oh Las Vegas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie followed Jensen through the lobby to the elevator. As soon as they were in the elevator, her lips were on him. Jensen was surprised by her forwardness, moaning into the kiss. He pushed into her, making her fall back into the adjacent wall. When they heard the bell ring, indicating they were on their floor, Jensen pulled away. He grabbed her hand, pulling her off the elevator and into the hallway of their hotel floor.</p><p>Charlie giggled as he quickly sprinted to the hotel room, making her catch up. “Jensen, I’m in heels, and I don't have long legs like you. Slow down."</p><p>Jensen slows down a beat, letting her walk at a slower pace. When they reach their hotel room door, he lets go of her hand to retrieve their hotel key card. Charlie wraps her arms around him from behind, moving her hands against his chest, pressing kisses along the back of his neck as he unlocked the door.</p><p>When he opened it, Jensen turned to embrace Charlie, immediately pressing his lips back to hers.</p><p>The two kissed desperately as they slowly backed into the hotel room, slamming the door behind them. Jensen works to get their clothes off, then pulls away, looking at Charlie. He gave her a devilish smile, grabbing her hand and bringing them over to the glass wall that overlooked the Las Vegas strip. He moved a chair from the desk, spinning it around and sitting in it. Charlie stood in front of the wall, still inebriated, intently watching Jensen. She was trying to figure out what he was doing as he sat looking at her with eyes almost predatory and slightly sobering.</p><p>He looked her up and down, and Charlie squeezed her legs shut, trying not to let her sexual frustration get the best of her. She knew she needed to play nice, or Jensen would prolong this, but she craved him. <em>That,</em> plus the alcohol, she needed to keep herself in check. When Charlie realized he wasn't getting up, she let out a pouty moan. He was making her work for it, and she hated it already.</p><p>Charlie walked over to him, about to straddle his lap, but he stopped her. She looked at him, confused. He leaned forward, taking her chin in his fingers and bringing her head to his, meeting her lips with a wet and enticing kiss. She moaned into it, and Jensen pulled back. She looked at him, beginning to feel a twinge of rejection. </p><p>“Jensen.” She said in a low tone as he watched her. </p><p>“Yes, baby?”</p><p>Charlie squeezed her legs harder as he called her by her little pet name. She loved to hear It come out of his mouth. She was desperate to have him, and he knew it, looking at Charlie with a smirk.</p><p>“Do you not want to fuck me?” she asked.</p><p>Jensen lightly chuckled at her question, taking in how sad she looked.</p><p>“Of course, I do,” he said, and Charlie tried to move towards him again. He didn’t budge. Determined, she bent over, rubbing her hand over his obvious bulge, pushing against his jeans. Charlie met his lips as she grabbed him lightly, squeezing and making him groan into the kiss. He pushed her softly, and she felt rejected again. She fell to her knees in front of him, trying to get his dick free from its confines, but again, Jensen stopped her.</p><p>He takes her face into his hands, making her look at him. "I want you to do something for me first…" Jensen said intoxicatingly. “I’m not gonna fuck you drunk.”</p><p>Charlie was beginning to get emotional, and the alcohol was not at all helping. She needed him. She missed him. She missed everyone. She didn't want kink. Well, she did, but not in this moment. She needed to get off and be held. She anticipated this for weeks, excited for what he would do to her. Charlie even tried pleasuring herself a few times while they were apart, but it just made the need worse. With him here, so close to touch, she didn't want that right now. She just wanted him. She wanted to feel whole.</p><p>Jensen’s continued rejection hit hard. Even though she knew he was teasing her, she couldn’t handle it. With the alcohol in her system, it was adding to her need and the emotional instability she was feeling at that moment.</p><p>Charlie falls back on her ankles, her face fallen with a look of devastation, tears beginning to pool in her eyes. "You don’t want me?" she cries.</p><p>Jensen straightened up, moving forward to hold her and pull her to his lap. "Oh, baby, I do. But you're skunked, and as much as I would love to take complete advantage of you right now, I need you to be a bit clear-minded."</p><p>"I'm not that drunk, Jensen. I can form coherent thoughts and judgments. Jus my inhibitions are a bit heightened." Charlie says, completely clear and intelligible</p><p>Jensen looks at her for a second. He stands up, taking them over to the minibar and grabbing a few bottles. He pours the alcohol into a glass then downs it in two big gulps. "In the meantime, I'll try and match you. How about that?"</p><p>Charlie giggles. Jensen stopped to look at her, his face serious, making Charlie's face fall. <strong><em>What did I do?</em></strong> He walked around to her, cradling her face, "I love that sound. It's such a beautiful sound."</p><p>Jensen kisses her, letting Charlie taste the whiskey on his tongue, mixing with the intoxicating smell of him. Her body falls loose in his arms. He bends his knees a bit, wrapping his arms around her hips and lifting her, making Charlie wrap her legs around him.</p><p>Jensen walked them over to the bed, “You want vanilla?” he asked with a smile, making a play at her own words but getting that she was vulnerable and simply needed him.</p><p>Charlie nodded softly, giving him a light peck and pressing her forehead against his. “I want you.”</p><p>He slowly lays them down on the bed, kissing Charlie deeply and passionately, giving her exactly what she wanted. Moving from the kiss, Jensen quickly pulls Charlie's Jeans and underwear off in one fell swoop. She wiggled out of her top, leaving her in her bra as she worked to take Jensen's clothes off. She pulled and yanked impatiently, needing to feel him against her, skin on skin. Finally, getting to his jeans, undoing the belt and pushing them down just enough for his hard dick to come out.</p><p>Charlie wrapped her arms around Jensen’s shoulders, pushing forward and rolling them over, leaving her straddling him. She looks down, grabbing his cock and lining herself on it, then sinks on him slowly. Wanting to take all of him at once but needing to inch down. Feeling him so deep in her, Charlie lets out a cry, throwing her head back and squeezing her legs around him as he laid beneath her.</p><p>Jensen moved up, pushing her forward a bit, grabbing her waist. Letting him move in and out of her with ease as she stayed wet for him. Charlie controlled the movements at first, working circles over him. Eventually the two worked in unison. Jensen thrusting up as she worked into him, their movements meeting. Both moaning and grunting as they moved. Going from fast to slow as they locked lips or left wet hot kisses against the other's neck and shoulder.</p><p>“Is this what you needed?” he asked, his lips grazing hers, breathing heavily into her mouth as she breathed heavily into his. “Me inside you?”</p><p>He pushes her down onto him hard, eliciting a screaming moan from Charlie as she felt him deep, hitting her cervix.</p><p>"Yes! You feel so fucking good. No one's ever felt so good." She throws her head back as she arches her back, feeling him repeatedly hit against her cervix and feeling a whole new level of sensations. "Oh, my god, yes!"</p><p>Jensen brings her back to him, kissing her and rolling them over onto the bed. He pulls out of her, making her legs fall limp beneath him. Pulling away from the kiss, he works to take her bra off, freeing her breasts and taking them into his mouth. Suck and biting on both of them as he pumped himself a few times, trying to keep himself from cumming.</p><p>After a minute, Charlie spread her legs wide for him as he lines himself up. With her being so wet and open, he slickly plunged into her. A deep guttural moan came from her as he found a new level of deep again.</p><p>“Oh god,” she winced and pushed her hands into his chest, slowing his motion down as he began to thrust deep and hard into her in a way she wasn’t used to.</p><p>Jensen gripped the sheet when he felt how tight she was, letting out a moan as he threw his head against her shoulder. “God. You feel so good.”</p><p>“Ahhh…Fuck,” she cries, looking down between the two of them, seeing him slowly but intensely moves into her. Biting her lip at how good it felt. Feeling her teeth cut into her skin.</p><p>“Fuck!” she screams as he bottoms out, again, holding there for a second then moving in and out.</p><p>“God, you’re so wet.”</p><p>Jensen moans and meets her lips as Charlie wraps her arms around him, pressing him closer to her. He rests his body against hers, causing him to push into her deeper. Charlie pulled from the kiss with a screeching moan pressing her cheek against his shoulder. She could feel every vein and inch of him. He moves to press kisses against her neck sucking and licking as he goes. Jensen moves his hips with a rhythm leaving Charlie moaning and breathing heavily under him.</p><p>“Yes, yes,” she moans.</p><p>He grabs her hands, intertwining their fingers and bringing them above their head. Jensen begins to speed up, and Charlie moans with every thrust.</p><p>“Fuck, I missed this,” Jensen said, pressing his forehead against hers as they both breathed and moaned as the motions built up in both of them. Jensen began to move circles into her with every thrust pushing his pelvic bone against her clit, making her fight against his hands and forehead, moaning deeper, squeezing her eyes shut, feeling all of it.</p><p>"Ohhh, my God,” she screams, and Jensen moves his head back to her shoulder as he speeds up again, knowing he was not going to last longer. "Fuck, yes. Yes. YES,” she screamed with every thrust.</p><p>Charlie pressed her feet into the mattress, pushing her hips up to meet him, making him hit deeper, and she began to feel that tight coil inside of her unravel. She felt the beginning works of her orgasm wash over her.</p><p>Jensen moaned into her shoulder again, letting go of her hands and shifting to his knees. He pulled out of her, closing her legs and turning Charlie around on the bed. He laid her down on her stomach, pulling her ass into the air and straddling her.</p><p>Charlie composed herself against the mattress, breathing heavily. She could feel Jensen moving on top of her from behind. She felt him squeeze her thighs together as he straddled her and pushed himself back into her in one full thrust. Letting out a deep moan into the mattress, she gripped the edge of the bed as he began to fuck her again. She screams into the room as Jensen thrust hard.</p><p>Jensen could feel his release coming soon. He looped a hand around her stomach, bringing her ass up, meeting his thrusts. He slams into her as he felt her gripping him hard.</p><p>"Cum for me, Baby."</p><p>She wasn't even waiting for his permission, she was holding on as long as she could, knowing how amazing it would feel when she did, but when he spoke those four words, Charlie came hard under him. She screamed into the mattress, muffling the volume of her voice. Gripping the edge and pillows for dear life as her orgasm rips through her.</p><p> Jensen pressed kisses against her shoulder as she squeezes him, making him cum hard along with her. He pressed his face against her skin, biting and muffling his moans as he shot his load.</p><p>When they both came down, he pulled out, laying down right next to her, their legs still intertwined. Charlie looked over at him as she tried to get her breathing back to normal. She moved her hand to his cheek, and he looked at her.</p><p>"Really missed yuh, Ackles. You really get the job done.”</p><p>Making Jensen laugh, pull her into him. “Don’t objectify me,” he said in his deep voice.</p><p>Charlie laughed hard. “Okay, Dean.”</p><p>He moved over to her, pressing a kiss to her lips and nuzzling his nose with hers.</p><p>“How are you?” he asked. </p><p>“I’m okay.” She kissed him with a smile. “Definitely better.”</p><p>“How you feelin’?”</p><p>“You mean from drinking?” He nodded, eyeing her. “I’m comfortably numb.”</p><p>Jensen sighs. “You can’t say you’re okay and then turn around saying you find comfort in alcohol. It’s just going to make me worry more.”</p><p>Charlie let out a deep breath. “This again?” She asked.</p><p>“Yes, Charlie. This again.”</p><p>“Couldn’t we just have like the day or an hour?"</p><p>“You’re acting like I’m giving you the worst news in the world. Or I’m hassling you for something. I am your boyfriend, and I am worried about you. I want to talk about it. You didn’t want to do it over the phone.”</p><p>Charlie rolled her eyes and began to move to get off the bed. "I'm fine, Jensen." Jensen grabbed her waist, holding her down.</p><p>“Fine? You just had a brat moment cause I wouldn’t fuck you. Now that I have, you’re fine?”</p><p>Charlie didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She just wanted everyone to stop asking her if she was 'okay.'</p><p>“Please don’t avoid me. Charlie. I’m trying here.”</p><p>“I'm not sober enough for this.”</p><p>“Yes, and part of me thinks it was intentional.”</p><p>She tries to get off again, but he holds her down. “WHAT?!” she yells, getting frustrated.</p><p>Jensen couldn’t take her seriously. For one, she was right, she wasn’t sober enough for it. Maybe he wasn’t either. She also just looked so adorable when she was mad.</p><p>“I need you to talk to me.”</p><p>“I am talking to you. I have talked to you.”</p><p>"No. You're being stubborn."</p><p>Charlie avoided eye contact with him, “I’m tired,” she said. Jensen just looked at her, getting frustrated. “Jensen. I am good. I’m a normal person with normal stressors.”</p><p>“No, you just lost your best friend, you’re leaving your job, you’ve been traveling like crazy for weeks. You’re working yourself crazy trying to meet your deadline. Along with everything else going on. Yeah, sure you’re stressed out, but you won’t turn to anyone, not really. Stop trying to feel like you have to be this strong person. Or feeling like you’re burdening us. Everyone needs help sometimes, Charlie."</p><p>"I didn't lose Maggie. She moved out. And I talk to everyone all the time."</p><p>“You’re going to sit here and tell me you feel nothing about the changes happening in your life.”</p><p>“Of course, I do. I’m the one who told you about it to begin with. I’m going through the motions, Jensen.”</p><p>"This is you, going through the motions?" he says, pointing all over her.</p><p>Charlie sat back up to look at Jensen. </p><p>“What’s wrong with me?”</p><p>“You were drunk.”</p><p>“I was… tipsy.”</p><p>“Either way.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Kinda feels like this isn’t you." He shrugged, looking at her with concern.</p><p>Charlie looked away and let out a sigh. She started to roll off him, crawling over to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheets up, and crawling under them.</p><p>“Really?” Jensen asked, annoyed. “Just going to go to bed? No kiss or ‘Have a good sleep, Babe’? Nothing?”</p><p>Charlie lifted her head, rolling over, facing him and moving to kiss him. Jensen expected it to be quick, but she was tender about it, lingering for a few seconds.</p><p>“Good night, Babe,” she said and rolled back around, turning off her side lamp and laying still.</p><p>Jensen sat there watching her, knowing she was still awake. “We’re going to talk about this in the morning.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t expect anything less,” Charlie said in a tired tone.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Peaceful Easy Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I get this feelin' I may know you<br/>As a lover and a friend<br/>This voice keeps whisperin' in my other ear<br/>Tells me I may never see you again<br/>'Cause I get a peaceful easy feelin'<br/>And I know you won't let me down<br/>'Cause I'm already standin'<br/>On the ground.”<br/>- Eagles</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Charlie woke to Jensen's text tone. Her body was entangled with his, and she laid there silently thinking about the night before. <strong><em>Oh my god, why did I say that to Misha?</em></strong> She also thought about the small argument she and Jensen had right before she went to bed if that's what it was. She knew he wasn’t wrong; she has been pulling away from him when he tries to help. She didn’t know how to process everything, handle everything, and open up to everyone because they wouldn’t understand. They couldn’t help. She had to handle her life.</p><p> As she thought, she was vaguely aware of Jensen's breathing change as he held her, indicating he was probably awake. Charlie looked out the glass window overlooking the strip, admiring its contrast to the dark sky and assembly of lights from the night before. She could feel the faint pounding in her head, but it wasn’t too bad.</p><p>Jensen's phone went off again, and he began to stir. Charlie didn't move. She wanted him to sleep if he was. But Jensen inhales loudly next to her ear, as his chin laid on her shoulder. He turned his body to grab his phone. "I know you're awake," he said, coming back to the bed, looking at his notifications.</p><p>Charlie turned her head around a little to look at him as he read his texts. Jensen put his phone back on the nightstand and went back to his position against her. He kissed the back of her shoulder. "Morning, Beautiful," he said, moving forward more to plant a soft kiss on her cheek, then her neck, then her shoulder.</p><p>She smiled a little, "Good Morning."</p><p>He pulled her to his body, moving his hand up and down her waist and hip, sliding it up under her shirt, rubbing her stomach and breasts. She got lost in the feeling of his skin rubbing against hers, warming her, giving her goosebumps.</p><p>He hummed at the feeling of them as he tried to go back to sleep. "Just a couple more minutes," Jensen said.</p><p>Charlie let out a little chuckle and began to delicately kiss his bicep, right over his tattoo, as it rested around her neck below her chin. She could feel the warmth of his skin against her lips. Her head was rest against his shoulder as he trapped her in his little cocoon with his strong arms, protecting her. She loved the feeling, the security.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jensen finally mutters into her ear. Charlie froze, turning over to him, smiling lightly with a sense of relief. He pulls her tighter. "When..."  he sighed, trying to compose himself visibly upset. "When I feel things are out of my control, I tend to ... come off strong or as an ass. And when it comes to you, I worry, maybe too much. I don't know because I feel like I'm the reason you're dealing with all this. I'm the reason Maggie moved. I'm the reason you have to do all this shit just to have a relationship with me. You keep having to come to me, and I adore you for it, but I also feel... stuck. I wanted to talk to you last night. I wanted my sweet and insightful Charlie to make me feel better, and when I got here, and you were..." he laughed. "I'll admit you're a funny drunk."</p><p>"I wasn't drunk." He looked at her with a stern look. “Fine, I was drunk.”</p><p>”You weren’t smashed, but enough that your mood was very up and down. I guess. I don’t know. You got pretty upset, Charlie. And part of it, I know it has a lot to do with what is going on, but it was also the alcohol. You thought I didn't want you. It was also my approach, should have been mindful but still...talk to me."</p><p>"I know. I'm sorry."</p><p>"You don't have to apologize, though. That's not my point. I know it was just a trigger. I mean, I wasn't happy, but not because you were drinking, let loose for all I care. But I knew you did it to avoid shit and maybe to avoid me. Which I get, but not when you have to go hop on a plane and head off to Tacoma alone. Not when I feel you pushing me away. And when I try to talk to you over the phone, you blow me off. We had last night, and tonight then we're apart again. And I figured, okay, we'll go upstairs, talk, let her get sober, but... that didn't go as planned. I... I felt obligated to give you want you wanted. To make you happy, and when I tried to bring it up after..." Jensen looks guilty. "That didn't work out so well. So, I'm sorry. I know it seems like I’m being demanding. That isn’t my intention. Just never know how to speak what's on my mind in that way, and I'm trying to do things correctly, but I'm also… learning, I guess."</p><p>"We're both just two really fucked up individuals, aren’t we?"</p><p>Jensen chuckles. "Guess you can say that."</p><p>"Jensen, it's not that I don't want to be where you are."</p><p>"You’re going through a lot, I know. I'm sorry, Charlie. I just need you to talk to me. We're away from each other a lot. You're busy. I'm busy, but that doesn't stop me from worrying or overthinking. I know you had this plan for last night, but we can’t keep making everything about sex. I’m equally guilty for that. But we can’t, not when we use it to fill whatever fucked up hole that was left inside us. And I’m not complaining, but it’s not healthy for either of us. Especially if you won't let me in. Not in the way you need to, with everything going on. I know it's second nature for you to hold everything in and just muddle through. I get it. I respect it, and I'm there. But I tried that, and I lost a major person in my life because I was too headstrong to admit it. Holding everything in and avoiding conversations. I don't want to do that to you, and I don't want you to do that to me. I know you're taking this hard, and I also know you can handle it. It's not that you're weak. You are very strong. I know whatever comes your, way you'll face it head on. You might cry and pout and get too drunk while desperately horny… I don't even know what last night was. But I need you to understand, my instinct is to be there for you, and I can't. And that, that makes me feel helpless. Useless.”</p><p>Charlie’s eyes closed, realizing, to an extent, what he was trying to say, in his own little Jensen way. He was so used to being the carrier of all responsibility, the protector, provider, and procreator. Charlie wasn't at all used to that. She never had that. She didn't know how to let Jensen in, in that way. Not yet. And she understood, as a man, that can really hit hard.</p><p>“I'm worried about you. I'm not trying to make you conform to my life. I just want to be with you in the best way I know how I guess. I don't know how to do this if you don't talk to me."</p><p>"I don't mean to push you away. You know I don't."</p><p>"I do, but… I..." Jensen stopped himself mid-sentence. He shrugs, blowing it off.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"No, what? Please tell me."</p><p>"I guess I'm a little nervous cause I'm... really falling for you, Charlie.” He said with conviction. “I spent all last night before landing, talking Misha’s ear off about how to move forward because, as much as I love that you are here, in my life, and you’re mine, you were so unexpected. Just like you’re handling a shift in your life, I’m handling a shift in mine, and I just don’t want to lose you. I’m scared to lose you.”</p><p>Charlie smiled, hugging him tightly, leaving a small light peck on his lips. "I know you have your issues because of what Danneel did. I'm sorry If I make you relive that part of your life. That's- that's not my intention.”</p><p>“I know. It’s okay.”</p><p>"I will admit I'm holding back talking about shit but not because I'm hesitant or because you feel more than I do. I know I said one of the reasons I'm hesitant is because it would be a distraction, and maybe that's not the best word. When I say you are a distraction, I don't mean it in the sense that you're an obstacle I have to work through. I mean, nothing else takes precedence over you. In like a really unhealthy way." She nervously laughs. "The whole time we were away, I constantly checked my phone, I always wondered what you were doing, and it takes everything in me not to book a plane ticket and go to you. Because I can and I will. I will drop everything for you, and that scares me for a lot of reasons." Jensen watched her as she spoke, listening intently. "For one, everything in my life that is ever good, or brings me some modicum of happiness, usually gets taken away. I don't want to sit here and tell you that I'm constantly nervous this will end any second, and I'm going to lose hope. That's not a way to have a relationship. And I know that. I'm sorry it has nothing to do with you. It's me. It's all me. After everything and settling back into my life, it dawned on me that you're. I don't know; you."</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"Yeah." She said in a sweet tone, looking up at him with a soft face. "You're my little enigma. You're beautiful to me, in and out. You deserve the world and the world pines over you." He looks away, feeling embarrassed. "And I get to have you. You saw something in me, and it flourished into whatever this is. But, why me? Why did you choose me?"</p><p>“What wrong with you? You-” Jensen objected, but she stopped him from continuing by putting her finger over his mouth.</p><p>"It took me a while to settle into the fact that I needed to move on after Matt. I realized it never worked with others because they weren't you. And I don't mean that, like, fate but a sense of, I needed someone who got <em>me</em>, the person I was, not the person they pigeonholed me to. You like me for me, and you don't take my shit. I never have to be someone else or live up to this ideation you created for me. I'm silly and stupid, overly sarcastic, and sometimes a know it all. I'm stubbornly moody,” She gives him a knowing look. “but also like a sweetheart, so I'm like lovable but also a bitch." Jensen smiled wide. "And all of this in only those first two weeks. You've ruined me for anyone else, and it's so fucked up that I don't even care. All in two weeks."</p><p>Jensen grabbed her face, bringing their lips together and kissing her tender before letting go.</p><p>Charlie grazed her fingers over his lips. "When Maggie left, I was forced to feel the things I ignored for a really long time. Me. Alone. Every single day. It's touch and go, and maybe I'm too much in it to actually see how that affects you, and I'm truly sorry, but I needed to feel that Jensen. I literally don't know how to be alone. I was raised by an overbearing father. When he died, I moved onto an overbearing mother. Moving on to fall in love with an overbearing narcissist, then a man who loved me but couldn't love me, or himself, enough to stay. Me, going through this, fighting my own fucked up demons, it needs to happen, and I needed to do it without anyone. I realize maybe that's unhealthy, but so is going into a relationship ignoring my problems." She watched his lips, giving him a quick peck before finishing. "When I got home in August, it…it just didn't feel like home. Not anymore. Not after you. And I have no idea why. Even before Maggie left, I went to work, trying to busy myself, but all I could think about was you. I was avoiding myself. That's what I meant by a distraction. Not only do you occupy my mind while I'm trying to be a productive member of society, but you also help me live outside of myself. So no, my love. You are not just catching feelings, and I'm waiting for a reason to leave. I was given a reason, and I chose to stay. I am going to stay. I am right here with you because you are worth it. I'm just trying to make sure the foundation of this, us, is purely on the basis of you. Not because you're what I need right now or an escape. I think in the very least you deserve that."</p><p>Jensen just looked at her, speechless. Charlie bit her lip nervously, waiting for him to say something.</p><p>"You have to say something. You can't just sit there. Say something!" She laughs.</p><p>"I…" he pressed his lips to hers. He didn’t know what to say, so he said it through the kiss. He laid them both down on the bed, deepening it.</p><p>"Thank you," he finally said, pulling away for a second and kissing her quickly again, making her laugh.</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For validating everything I'm feeling and being patient with me. You’re very patient with me."</p><p>"Yeah, well, kind of feels like I'm still winning in the end. I get you." Jensen smiles, and the smile touched his eyes, and the view melted her heart. He was so beautiful when he smiled like that. She smiled back at him. "I'll come to Vancouver and Texas or wherever."</p><p>"You don’t have to. I want you to, of course, but It's not about you being where I am. I mean, it is. But I'm not trying to add shit to you're to-do list. Part of our problem is we never have a lot of time together, and when we do have time, we're... on each other. Because we have to wait weeks or whatever, and it never feels like enough. Not that I mind, it just-"</p><p>"We need to spend more time together, so the foundation of our relationship isn’t sex and whiskey...."</p><p>"Well, yeah..." he says in a low tone. "And I want to spend all the time in the world with you and JJ," he laughs. "but... I'm kind of helpless in that area, at least until the show is over."</p><p>"I don't mind it, if that’s what you mean. I know you have your life, Jensen. I just don't want to get caught up. You know? I feel like it's easy for me to get lost in you, especially right now. Just let me finish my deadlines. Let me get the legal stuff, projects, and everything happening at once out of the way."</p><p>"Do what you need to do, Charlie. Just don't shut me out. That’s my issue. Not you having to come to me."</p><p>She nodded, "Okay, but I need you to be more patient with me if I don't. If there is something wrong between us, I will say it. If it's something about me, I'm going to hold it in until I'm comfortable talking about it. That isn’t against you. You're getting used to this... so am I."</p><p>"I can do that," he said with a nod. Charlie gives him a kiss, then grazes her thumb over his cheek as she looked at him. “Maggie and Misha wanted to go to breakfast soon before we're out all day, then we can head back and get ready for later."</p><p>"Okay," Charlie said, moving forward to kiss him again, and Jensen moves into it, kissing her with passion.</p><p>They get out of bed, putting on clothes, and freshening up before heading out. As they left the hotel room and waited in the elevator to reach the lobby floor, Charlie began to laugh to herself as they stood in a quiet embrace. Jensen looked down at her, wondering why she was laughing.</p><p>"Most random thing ever, but you know how they call you guys J2." Jensen nodded. "Misha and Maggie are M2." She laughed, and Jensen just stared at her shaking his head. "Shut up, it's funny."</p><p>He shook his head at her with a smile, and they finally got off the elevator, walking across the lobby. As they go to leave the hotel, Charlie remembers something and stops in her tracks. "Wait. What if we're seen?"</p><p>Jensen looked at her, puzzled. "Then were seen…?" He said with a question.</p><p>"No, like photographed or something. Is that okay?"</p><p>Jensen understands and looks around. "No one is paying attention to us. And if by some chance they do. I don't care." He chuckles.</p><p>"Okay," she said, nervous.</p><p>"Do you?"</p><p>"Care?” She nodded. “No. I just wanted to make sure it was okay. I don't know. We never had to deal with it. We never talked about it, and I just figured. It's fine. As long as you're okay."</p><p>In the mix of everything, Charlie overlooked the fact that she was, in fact, dating a celebrity. She never thought about the publicity aspect, not in the way that affects her. Sure, he wasn't Leonardo, Gaga, or an A-list celebrity, but he was Jensen Ackles. He was known. Supernatural was known.</p><p>If she was honest with herself, she didn't like the feeling of being watched. She didn't even like her photo taken in general. Even for friend or family gatherings, let alone tabloids or internet articles for someone to get a few grand off juicy details and gossip.</p><p>She loved the entertainment aspect of the industry. Making movies and bringing art to life. But the part where you can't even get a cup of coffee without being bombarded by paparazzi didn't tickle her fancy. And it wasn't even the approach but more the lack of decency and respect for the pursuit of money. The whole red carpet, super-celebrities spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on dresses, cars, and jewelry that could feed a starving country. Or being glorified for fake beauty, bodies, or fake everything for that matter, rather than their character. She despised it.</p><p>That was one of the things that threw her off about Misha and Jensen from the beginning. Also, what drew her in. They were different from the other actors, musicians, and influencers she's met over the years. Most, itching for more success, recognition, and a clearer image. Misha, Jensen, Jared, and the gang weren't that at all. Sure, they were actors, but because it was their passion. They didn't move towards the fame and frenzy. They just stayed balanced between successful but almost unrecognizable. They didn't populate their newsfeeds with selfies, expensive fashion, and the need to be relevant. They promoted positivity, others, causes, and shared happy moments in their life, much like Charlie. They put out into the world what they wanted to put onto them. They were role models, not superstars, and she was glad to understand the difference. Glad there was a difference at all.</p><p>However, she also understood that was part of the job. She understood not everyone was like that, and to play the part, you needed to play the part. Jensen went to press junkets and red-carpet events because he was required. After all, it was part of the gig. But Jensen didn't care for it. He didn't feed into it. He was an actor, he loved to act, and he loved his fans. Everything else was dressing to him.</p><p>A little while later, at the diner, they met Misha and Maggie. Eating breakfast and catching up. Charlie apologized for her drunken blabber and squeezing Misha’s cheeks like he was a baby and not a grown man. Misha blew it off, adding that it made him love her even more. As they went on, she was glad to see Maggie and Misha developing their own little friendship. Telling Jensen and Charlie stories of the night before, when they went gambling. The four of them planned a day in Vegas, which included a helicopter trip over the national park seeing the Canyons and Hoover Dam. The day of adventure would end with dinner before the concert.</p><p>After breakfast, they all headed back, getting ready, showering, and prepping for the day. When Charlie and Jensen got to the hotel room, they showered together. They had a couple of hours before they were meeting Maggie and Misha for the day.</p><p>After the shower, Jensen went on the balcony, talking to JJ and Danneel to check up, as they were in Austin having a Fall Festival at the brewery. At this point, JJ knew of Charlie as Jensen's friend after seeing her on facetime or hearing them have a conversation. Charlie agreed it was best to refrain from introducing her to JJ, as a girlfriend, for a while, for his daughter's sake. At least until after she meets Danneel. Charlie was with him, but he didn't want to confuse his daughter, not until things got steady between them, which she agreed on. Especially if their relationship ended, it could leave JJ even more confused.</p><p>Charlie grew up in a broken home. She never wanted to do that to another child. Growing up, her father kept his space with other women. At least, that's what Charlie thought until she was an adult and found out her father was quite the ladies' man. However, never bringing them around her. Charlie's mother, on the other hand, had an array of men over the years. She remembered spending times in New York, being left with her brother and sister, left to their torture, as her mother went off doing god knows what with the flavor of the week. That was also partly why her unwillingness to have children runs so deep, amongst other things. <strong><em>Kids are always bound to become their parents, right?</em></strong> She was terrified of becoming her mother. Her father, she didn't mind. As much as Charlie never wanted to admit, she was more like her mother than her father, and that scared her.</p><p>When Jensen got too busy to call her on the days he was with his daughter Charlie didn't care. She preferred it. She encouraged him to put his family first. Even at times, Danneel. She didn't like it, and there were definitely gray areas. It had to pertain to JJ, but she wasn't going to spend their relationship paranoid. She also wasn't going to tell him not to speak to his ex-wife. That wasn't really an option. She trusted Jensen, and that's all she needed. </p><p>So, as he spoke to her in his adorable daddy way, being stern but gentle, she stayed in the room, getting ready. After she was dressed for the day, she laid on the bed watching Rick and Morty, enjoying a laugh. When Jensen finished with his call, he came back into the room, cuddling up to Charlie on the bed. He lets her lay against his chest, both staying awake, watching the television. Jensen played with Charlie's hair, learning that it was something that calmed her and not minding because he loved the smell of it. Pressing kisses on her head when she laughed at the show. She didn't need words. She didn't want words. She laid on him, letting him fill her senses and letting it relax her body. His presence was enough. Every once in a while, he would pull her face up, sharing a kiss or peck, but the two just laid in each other's arms.</p><p>"Not to sound redundant, but I need you to be okay."</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "I’m okay, Jensen. I'm just going through the motions. I miss Maggie. And I'm kinda pissed I need to buy a new computer, but... I'm okay. I'm not going to have a mental breakdown or drive off a bridge. I want everyone to stop asking me if I'm okay. Mainly because there is nothing anyone can do."</p><p>"But you’re not okay, Charlie."</p><p>"I know, but Jensen... what is talking about it going to do? Then it makes me think.”</p><p>"Think about what?"</p><p>“Right now, the only way I can explain how I feel... is the only person who can make me feel okay, is currently buried six feet under, thousands of miles away in Upstate New York, and no matter what, what I feel will never go away. And I dealt with that to different degrees. I aimed to be independent, and in a way, I couldn't be. I fell to Maggie, and now, she's gone, and maybe I thought all that just kind of went away, but... it didn't. To be honest, I don't feel sad. I feel angry. For a long time, that anger was guilt and regret because of how everything played out and how I pick apart it all. Wishing I could have just done one thing differently, and maybe my life would be different. Maybe he would still be here. But after Maggie left, it was like it's been five years, and I'm still picking up his pieces, and he’s just… still dead. Never having to answer to anything or having to deal with any of it. I never allowed myself to think like that. You know? Who gets angry with a dead person? But when I was alone, all I felt was everything over the last five years, just condensed together. All I wanted was to make him feel what I felt. What I feel. What he did to me." She sighed, looking up at Jensen. "So, it's like... why bother? Why talk about it?"</p><p>"You have to talk about it, Charlie. That’s why you exploded like you did. That’s why you got so upset last night. You need to let that shit out. It’s not healthy to hold it in. Cause then you’re going to keep reacting emotionally and having to pay for shit you break in the random moments of frustration. Having to deal with the repercussions.”</p><p>Charlie looked away, pouting a bit, as he told her something she knew. “I guess…yeah. You’re right, I know.  But I have you. You help me forget it all.” She kissed him. “I realized I don't just crave you for the sex. It's what you do to me. You get me out of my head. Out of the past and out of my constant worry for the future. I crave the solace I feel when I am with you. And when you're not around, I'm miserable."</p><p>“Yeah, but you can’t forget, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t shoe it away either. That’s the problem. That’s why when Maggie left, you lost your shit. You're right about needing to feel it. That's the healthy thing to do, but Charlie, you don't have to do it alone. I'm here. And if not me, fine, Maggie. Just talk to someone."</p><p>“Okay, okay. I’ll talk. I’ll talk.” She laughed. “I promise.”</p><p>“You said that before.”</p><p>“I know, but all I can do is try to be better.”</p><p>Jensen rolled on top of her, diving his face into her neck. Charlie wraps her arms around him, holding him tight. While in the embrace, Jensen's phone begins to ring. He pulls it out of his pocket, seeing it was Misha facetiming him and looking at Charlie with a grin.</p><p>Charlie smiled at him then looked at the phone. "You better not."</p><p>Jensen smiled back, sticking his tongue out a bit, and pressed the accept button, displaying them both on the screen, Jensen laying on top of Charlie.</p><p>"No! Jensen!"</p><p>Charlie turns her face away from the screen and pressed it into Jensen's shoulder, hiding.</p><p>"Why are you hiding like he doesn't know it's you?" He asks, laughing.</p><p>"Because it's Misha!"</p><p>"Wait, what??" They could hear Maggie yell on the other end of the phone. Charlie looks up at the screen, and both Maggie and Misha were grinning like fools. "You coulda just called me back," Misha said sarcastically.</p><p>Jensen laughed, moving his head back down to bring Charlie's lips back to his.</p><p>"Misha, look away! Look away!" Charlie yells, laughing, as she tries to squirm away from Jensen. He caught her lips for a kiss, making it a show. She pushes him away for a second, but Jensen caught her mouth again. Charlie gives in this time, letting him kiss her tenderly. For a moment, they forgot he was on a call as both Maggie and Misha quietly watch.</p><p>"Ummmm," Misha says, watching them. "I think not."</p><p>"Can we get some popcorn over here?" Maggie says.</p><p>Jensen finally pulls away, looking at Maggie with a brilliant smirk and a wink.</p><p>"Awe, you guys are adorable. Jealous.” Maggie adds, before disappearing off the screen.</p><p>"God, I'm so upset I didn't decide to screen record this beforehand."</p><p>"What?!" Charlie yells, forcefully pushing Jensen off her and grabbing the phone. Misha laughs. "Do you normally screen record facetime conversations?"</p><p>"The kinky ones, yes."</p><p>"Oh, my god. Misha, I don't even wanna know," Charlie said, getting up from the bed.</p><p>"Thanks for the sneak peek, guys. I look forward to the full production." Misha quips, gaining a shooting look from both Jensen and Charlie, Maggie following but oblivious to the double meaning. "We're waiting for you guys…so, uh, get it together, you too. I'll see you in a couple of minutes." Misha hangs up, shaking his head with a grin.</p><p>Jensen and Charlie quickly jumped out of bed, grabbing hats, Charlie grabbed her purse, and they met Misha and Maggie in the lobby. The four went out sight-seeing, having a good time in the heat, and just enjoying themselves.</p><p>After dinner, they headed back to the hotel, getting ready for the concert. Getting to the venue a little early, they had pit tickets in the front and off to the side a bit from the stage, allowing them some privacy. They grabbed beers and snacks before heading to their seats and waited for the concert to start.</p><p>When the band began to play, Charlie went crazy with excitement, making Jensen laugh at her. Maggie, always the ever-present event photographer, getting clips and pictures of the band and them together the whole night. Charlie sang to all the songs, word for word. She sways side to side in Jensen's arms during the slow songs, serenading him a few times, and dancing like an idiot with Misha on the upbeat ones. She hysterically laughed when Misha tried to move. The boy had little rhythm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. When the Levee Breaks Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good<br/>When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move, ooh.”<br/>-Led Zeppelin</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EXCLUSIVE</p><p>
  <strong> <span class="u">‘SUPERNATURAL’ STAR JENSEN ACKLES SPARKS DATING RUMORS WITH NEW VIDEO POSTED TO INSTAGRAM</span> </strong>
</p><p>By Margot Taylor</p><p>Sunday, Sep. 29, 2019 7:19PM</p><p>UPDATED 2 HOURS AGO</p><p> </p><p>(VIDEO – shows Jensen holding Charlie against him as they both sang along to the songs playing, swaying back and forth. They were in the front row of the venue, looking up to the band as they played. As the video progressed, it went on to show them move in for a kiss and singing into each other's mouths laughing, smiling and being intimate.)</p><p> </p><p>On Saturday, a few celebs were spotted attending the Eagles ‘Hotel California’ Concert at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV and rightfully so—because when it comes to the rock and country legends, aren’t we all fans?</p><p>'Supernatural' stars Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins both gave their followers snippets of last night's concert through their Instagram accounts, letting loose and accompanied by two female friends. After last night's concert, a video surfaced on an Instagram story showing Jensen being very close and intimate with one of the ladies. Another fan went on to thicken the gossip, adding it was Charlie Maeson (@charliemaeson), the Director of Marketing for MAP, a non-profit based out of Seattle, WA. Sources have confirmed Charlie has been working with fellow concert attendee Misha Collins. The two collaborating on a <em>Supernatural Charity Festival</em> being planned for early next year. Co-star and close friend Misha, unphased by the public act of affection, leaves us to wonder if they’re a couple, and if so, when did it happen?</p><p>
  <strong>[PHOTO: Charlie in an elegant gray silk dress, attending MAP Gala in New York, with Sophia.]</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>NEW YORK, NY- DECEMBER 2018: Charlie Maeson, Director of Marketing for MAP, Seattle, WA, attends The MAP Annual Charity Gala accompanied by Sophia Wheldon. (Photo by Margaret Meadows/Getty Images)</em>
</p><p>As the night went on, the video went viral. The actors were also seen out on the town while in Vegas, taking time to get photos and autographs with fans. Over the weekend, Supernatural fans became split. Some fans rejoiced with happiness after learning their beloved actor, and real-life Dean Winchester is finally dating, after his wife, Danneel Ackles, filed for divorce, only days after the actors wrapped his fourteenth season of Supernatural and announced its fifteenth season would be its last. Other fans took to social media with outrage and more questions. Who is she? Is she the reason the Ackles are no more?</p><p>
  <strong>[PHOTO: Charlie and Maggie attending Eagles concert. Both smiling and throwing up a peace sign to the camera. Misha and Jensen were in the background, having a conversation amongst themselves, looking towards the stage.]</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>LAS VEGAS, NV- SEPTEMBER 2019: Charlie Maeson and close friend Margaret Meadows attend Eagles ‘Hotel California’ Concert at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV, accompanied by Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins. (Photo by Margaret Meadows/Instagram)</em>
</p><p>The few photos posted by Margaret Meadows (@photomaggieitis), who was with the couple that night, left more to the imagination. The couple was seen eagerly waiting for the concert to start while standing talking to Misha Collins. Jensen, sporting his classic baseball cap, maybe as an attempt for anonymity. Nice try there, Jensen. Another photo of the two ladies throwing a peace sign up, smiling at the camera captioned "She's an old soul, and I love her. ❤ #Eagles”, as seen on the post. </p><p>Neither Ackles or Maeson have yet to comment on their relationship.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. When the Levee Breaks Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday morning after the concert everyone needed to be at the airport early, their flights all within hours of each other. Maggie headed to LA, and Charlie headed back to Washington. Jensen and Misha needed to be back in Vancouver. After landing, Charlie got home and finished packing, trying to get it done by Monday.</p><p>After reaching out to the landlord, it was agreed, Charlie could leave if she was out by the first week of October. With their lease being rent-controlled, the landlord was eager to get a new tenant in as soon as possible. No doubt boosting the rent up as the rent costs have skyrocketed since Maggie and Charlie took residence.</p><p>She took into consideration that they were exceptional tenants, never missing a payment or causing a fuss. She let her slide on the last month's rent, using their deposit, and agreed to bill them for damages found, but there wouldn’t be any. After packing, she still had work. She went into her laptop, allowing herself to get distracted and staying up late into the morning. Eventually, she passed out on the couch, waking up in the middle of the night and walking over to her room, half asleep. She didn't have to be in the office until later in the day, so she figured she'd sleep in a bit.</p><p>The next morning she was awoken by the faint sound of her phone going off in the other room. Getting up, half asleep, Charlie walked over to her phone and was immediately filled with worry when she uplocked it to find a screen full of notifications. She had texts, voicemails, missed calls, and emails. The social media folder on her home screen showed 1000+ notifications. As she read through them, she began to panic.</p><p>5 Missed Calls from Unknown, 4 Voicemails</p><p>1 Missed Call from Sophia Gleick, 1 Voicemail</p><p>2 Missed Calls from Celeste Levitt 2 Voicemails </p><p>3 Missed Calls from Misha Collins</p><p>6 Missed Calls from Maggie Meadows 2 Voicemails</p><p>5 Missed Calls from Jensen (Babe) Ackles, 2 Voicemails</p><p>34 New Unread Text Messages</p><p>13 Emails</p><p> </p><p>She opened Jensen’s thread first, as he was the last to text and call her.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen: Charlie, please call me.</p><p>Jensen: Do not read anything or say anything until we speak, please. Call me as soon as you can.</p><p>Jensen: Charlie…</p><p>Jensen: Please call me!</p><p>Jensen: You’ve got to be awake by now. Answer the phone!</p><p> </p><p>Shaking it off, she backed out, looking at Maggie’s thread, hoping for some insight but already knew the conclusion.</p><p> </p><p>Maggie: HOLY SHIT.</p><p>Maggie: (US Weekly Article: <a href="#section0031"><strong><span class="u">‘SUPERNATURAL’ STAR JENSEN ACKLES .... </span></strong></a>)</p><p>Maggie: ARE YOU OKAY?</p><p>Maggie: CALL ME NOW, CHARLIE.</p><p>Maggie: Dude, Jensen is freaking out. No one can get in touch with you. Where are you?</p><p> </p><p>Charlie knew she would probably regret it, but she needed to read the article. She thought about what Jensen texted and hesitated for a second, but she needed to read the article. She pressed the link, waiting for it to come to load, and begins to read</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>EXCLUSIVE</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <a href="#section0031"> <strong> <span class="u">‘SUPERNATURAL’ STAR JENSEN ACKLES SPARKS DATING RUMORS WITH NEW VIDEO POSTED TO INSTAGRAM... </span> </strong> </a>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>And as she read, Charlie began to breathe shallow, feeling a panic attack coming on.</p><p>"Fuck…. Fuck. Fuck!”</p><p>She closes the article and moves over to her social media accounts. The night before, she had twelve notifications. Going back in, she had a slew of new followers, comments, tags, and likes on her LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Before she could even allow herself to see what they were all saying, she threw her phone on the couch, not wanting to see anymore.</p><p>Charlie slowly breathes in and out to calm herself. "It's okay. It's okay. You knew this would happen. We talked about this before we left Vegas. You're fine. Everything is fine. Breathe… Fucking breathe."</p><p>She hears her phone going off again, and she closes her eyes, trying to tune it out, then realizes it might be Jensen. <strong><em>I probably shouldn't ignore him. Even though I’ve only had five minutes to process this.</em></strong> She walks over, grabbing the phone, and seeing it<em> was</em> Jensen.</p><p>“Hi,” she answers very low into the phone.</p><p>"Oh, thank God. Charlie, are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes," she said, still talking low.</p><p>"That doesn't sound convincing," Jensen said, sounding concerned.</p><p>“I’m… fine.” She takes a deep breath.</p><p>"What did you read?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>Jensen sighs heavily. "I told you not to read it."</p><p>"I’m… I'm sorry. I had to know."</p><p> Jensen huffs. "No, Charlie. I'm sorry. I was ignorant. I know we had our little conversation, which I’m glad we did. I figured, sure, I’d be seen, but I honestly didn’t think it was going to go this far. Guess I should have known. I didn't fully grasp how this would make you look. Not really. It took it happening and everything to hit the fan for me to see the full picture. Then Maggie, putting me in my place."</p><p>"Maggie?"</p><p>"Yeah, she uh. She called me this morning. She's uh… Ha. She’s a fuckin' pistol that one."</p><p>"Oh, god. I'm so sorry."</p><p>"No, no, no. It's okay. Maggie was right. With everything you have going on, you don’t need this right now. Just another reason to worry about you. Trying to have a fun weekend with my girlfriend turned into… whatever this is."</p><p>"It's okay. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, It makes me nervous. My name was on an online tabloid article. And I am sure more… people know who I am…” Charlie stared off into space, thinking about what that meant. “It’s the attention. I’ll have all this attention on me, and I had an idea of what would come if whoever found out. I’m not oblivious to who you are. It’s more of the digging into who I am that makes me edgy. But… I don’t want to keep saying I’m fine. I know that’s vague. I kinda expected to lose my shit when this day came, but… I feel fine. In the moment, anyway. Not as bad as I thought I was going to be. So that’s something.”</p><p>"Really? So, you're not alone at home, probably freaking out right now?"</p><p>Charlie looked around. “I am.” She laughed a bit. “I also knew it would happen. I’m not surprised.”</p><p>Jensen signed again over the phone. "Doesn't help the effect, though, does it?"</p><p>She thought about her answer. “No,” she said, feeling defeated. “What do I do?”</p><p>"Nothing. Honestly. Ignore it. I've already spoken to my publicist and my manager. They're aware, but aside from a public statement, there isn't anything. The course of action right now is silence and let it blow under the rug. You didn't do anything wrong, Charlie. I'm sorry they're painting you in that way."</p><p>She didn't say anything. she didn't even want to know what he was talking about. The article mentioned the possibility of a scandal between her and Jensen, painting Charlie as 'the reason the Ackles' were no more. As if they were cheating and she was the homewrecking, other woman. But again, she excepted it. Their divorce isn't final, and with the end of the show happening, tabloids will jump at the opportunity to write about the boys right now. She was sure if she let a random rumor travel down the grapevine, it would hit the news articles as well. If there were other things they were saying, adding or looking into about her, she didn’t want to know.</p><p>"In terms of confirming us, that's up to you. It affects you more… or differently than it affects me."</p><p>"Can we hold off on that? Until this blows over."</p><p>"I would prefer it. Not because I don’t want people to know, but, once you confirm, it becomes an invitation and-"</p><p>Charlie felt a spec of relief. “You don’t want to feed into it. I know."</p><p>"You also don't need that right now either."</p><p>She nodded, thinking. "Can I leave my apartment?”</p><p>He chuckled. "Of course. I mean, if you travel, there might be a pap here or there.”</p><p>"Pap? …Like paparazzi?"</p><p>“Yeah.” He reluctantly answered. “They know where you work." <strong><em>Oh, god.</em></strong> “They know I’m in Vancouver. Maybe you’ll see a few at the airport.”</p><p>She throws her head back, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Awesome."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"You keep saying that." She kind of chuckles.</p><p>"Because I am."</p><p>"It's cool, Jensen."</p><p>"No, it's not."</p><p>"What could you have done? Hidden me from the world? I thought we already had that conversation?"</p><p>"Yeah, well, turns out you might have been right."</p><p>"Jensen, I don't give a shit what they say about me. I know my truth. I know I’m not the person they say I am. Trust me, everything they are going to say I've already thought of. Thoroughly. I am self-deprecating and over-analyzing, remember? I am aware of what they’ll say. Do I like it? No. But again, I knew this meeting you. I knew this, going into this relationship. I kinda forgot for a bit because, well, you don't live a life of luxury. You're just a normal dude to me. But I just need to deal."</p><p>"Deal? Like everything is fine, and it's a normal day to day thing. You shouldn't have to."</p><p>"Well, you should be able to have a relationship with someone without it being headline news. There are a lot of things that aren't fair. Trust me, I know. But if there's anything I've learned, life goes on regardless." Charlie looked around her apartment and began to feel sad again. She felt nervous at the idea of walking outside her door or beyond her apartment building. "Jensen?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I don't want to be alone anymore."</p><p>Jensen let out a breath. "I know, Baby.” He said in the sweetest voice and sweetest way. She smiled into the phone, but he couldn’t see. “I wish I could be there. Tell me what to do, Charlie."</p><p>“I don’t think there’s anything you can really do. But if there’s anything I’m feeling right now… it’s that.”</p><p>"I know you'll be here in the week, but do you need me to go to you? I will go there, Charlie, if you need me there. I need to know you're okay. I don't like leaving you out to dry."</p><p>“That’s not what you’re doing. Stop it. I was going to meet my team in Vancouver on Thursday for the signing with legal.” She thought a bit. “I planned on staying here until then, getting things in order. All this may have changed those plans. So, fine."</p><p>"Fine, what?"</p><p>Charlie waited for a beat again before giving in. "Fine, I'll stay in Vancouver and go to the Toronto Convention with you. I have to finish moving, and I'll be on a plane tomorrow night. Happy? You're getting what you wanted."</p><p>"Not really. I’m glad to see you, but I didn’t ask you to go to the convention this time." He laughed. “That would be your boss. You know. The one with the cute lips.”</p><p>Charlie didn't say anything. On her end of the phone, she was smiling, biting her lip. She didn’t know if it was a jab or a way to make her smile but either way, he wasn’t getting a reaction.</p><p>“But I think he’s right. In terms of your job, with the festivals in play and you going over to RA. It’s a good way for you to become grounded in all this too. I know you enjoyed yourself last time. It would also be good for you to be around everyone. You know? Make you not feel so… alone,” Jensen finishes.</p><p>“I did enjoy myself. I wouldn’t mind seeing the girls. Haven't seen Jared. We've spoken and texted, but..."</p><p>"See… you're excited."</p><p>"Alright, alright. I’m going. I finished packing last night anyway. I have the storage unit company coming tomorrow morning." Charlie walked over to her work laptop, looking up flights, but… I’ll be there.”</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"I have to be there Thursday. I just… don't want to be here anymore. One week alone in the farthest reaches of the United States is enough. The thing that complicates this is work. I only have one more week. Why couldn’t this have happened like next week!” she laughs. “But when I go down there, I have to actually work, though, Ackles. Not… do whatever it is <em>you do</em>.”</p><p>"<em>What I do? </em>I'm pretty sure you're complacent in those activities. If not, more initiating or seducing with your <em>things</em>. I have to learn to resist you!"</p><p>Charlie giggles. "Yes, what you do? Your little Ackles charm. Or mojo, or whatever. I’ll admit to complacency. But things?”</p><p>“Your lingerie and, you know, … boobs.” Jensen laughs, making Charlie smile.</p><p>"You owe me. I’m just putting it out there." She proclaimed.</p><p>"Do I?"</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>"How so?"</p><p>"I'm about to do a lot of work for you?"</p><p>He chuckled again. “Hm, making you work for it?”</p><p>She chuckled. “Yes. How dare you?"</p><p>Jensen lets out a melancholy laugh, and it calmed her. She loved his laugh. They eventually got off the phone. Charlie booked her ticket to Vancouver and her flight back. She felt awkward but asked Celeste if she could stay at her place for two nights the following week. Not wanting to stay in a hotel. Celeste was eager to agree.</p><p>Charlie reminded herself, she needed to take moments to breathe and digress with everything going on. She needed to stay levelheaded, which she hadn't been doing lately. Constantly, feeling like there was something she had to be doing. She was losing her balance on life and was glad she only had another week of work to deal with.</p><p>Charlie called Maggie back. During the call, Maggie gave her a more in-depth description of what she said to Jensen.</p><p>“I appreciate it, honestly. But I knew what I was getting myself into. Shit, you knew. I can’t sit here and act clueless. I’m not.”</p><p>"I guess I just feel like you don't need it right now. If it's anyone's job to nip it in the bud, it’s his."</p><p>"I don't need it, but neither does he. I’m not the only person going through shit, Mags. I’m not the only one this effects. He’s just more put together about it, I guess. I don't know. He's Jensen. As much as he berates me for not opening up, he does the same. We're both just going through the motions. The only difference between us is, he's used to the attention… negative or positive. I'm not…. My poor Jensen. Don't yell at him. He’s trying," Charlie said in a sweet voice.</p><p>"I mean, I didn't yell at him. I just, maybe, had a serious conversation that was honestly well overdue in a very crass tone.”</p><p>"Maggie."</p><p>"I should have had it once he got his greedy little paws on you.”</p><p>"You mean the greedy paws you pushed me into." Charlie laughs.</p><p>“Touché. Anyway, he was actually pretty receptive and understanding. He agreed with me, and that was… I wasn't expecting that.”</p><p>“He’s precious.”</p><p>“He really cares about you. He also worries about you, Charlie.”</p><p>"I know. It was a whole thing this weekend. It’s not intentional. I’m trying Mags. I'm over here, in my own little world, trying to stay focused. It’s easy to keep the rest out. I’m not deliberately pushing you guys away. Sure there are moments I don’t want to talk, but I don’t know how to have relationships with people who are hundreds of miles away. This is kind of new to me. While also, I don’t know, dealing with <em>shit</em>. And now, <em>this shit</em>.” Charlie sighs, thinking about her temporary and chaotic moment of fame.  </p><p>“I know. But when people ask you what’s wrong or are you okay, you can’t just keep saying your fine. You of all people know the repercussions that alone can cause.”</p><p>"Nice. Way to bring up Matt. Again.”</p><p>"Well, I'm sorry, but you know I'm right. Did he, or did he not, do the same thing?"</p><p>“It was different, and you know that. Not even close. I'm not depressed, Mags. I don't have a history of manic depression. My life isn't falling apart, it's just falling into something new. Something I am actually a bit excited about. But forgive me for being human and feeling what comes with that. I’m not on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I am just feeling shit like a normal person handling changes and past grief.”</p><p>"More like unresolved grief. These aren’t normal circumstances, Charlie. And keeping everything in doesn't make it go away. You would think a person who went to school for psychology would know this.”</p><p>“Yes, and I am not repressing."</p><p>"Yes, you are!"</p><p>“If you're going to give me the 'help is the answer' spiel again, save it. I did that, remember. If anything, it made me feel worse. This isn't in some DSM. There is no right or wrong way to handle grief. No amount of therapy, psychoanalysis, meditation, or medication is going to erase the damage that was done.”</p><p>"Yeah, but you have to actually allow yourself to feel it. And the fact that you can’t see that that’s what you are doing boggles my mind. When you tried to <em>get help</em>. It was like you went, to say you went. You never genuinely tried it. You always thought you were above it, in a way where you couldn't have another person, as closely educated as you, telling you about yourself. Like knowing what you know somehow inoculates you from still being a human being. As if having a degree in the subject meant you knew all there was to know. You never let anyone tell you differently.”</p><p>“Because no one knows me, like me.”</p><p>“Yes, and maybe, just maybe, that’s what <em>you</em> need. I’ll be honest, I’m grateful for Jensen. I think he’s getting to you a bit. You’ve been opening up to him. And if he's your outlet, great. If he makes you comfortable to confide in, awesome, have at it. Please open up to him. Open up to someone.”</p><p>Charlie found herself a little irritated everyone was trying to tell her what to do, but no one understood. <strong><em>Not just how she felt, but how she felt while dealing with everything on her plate.</em></strong> She thought for a moment, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to look into therapy again. Things were different. They felt <em>different</em>.</p><p>The whole convenience of it was better. No longer having to wait weeks. Having to make sure to be in Washington for the appointment and traveling back to wherever. She wasn't in school anymore, and the services were online now, making scheduling easier.</p><p>She remembered going from a psychologist to a psychiatrist, neurologist, to then therapists just trying to find the right treatment. Costing over two thousand dollars in out-of-pocket health costs. Confirming, in the process, she had high functioning Anxiety and ADHD, which she already knew. That was why, over time, she became such a detail-oriented person and strived for perfection. She couldn’t handle anything less. Charlie needed to be organized and work towards control. If she didn't, she’ll lose her shit. And the lack of control makes her over think and worry, which makes her overreact. She loses her stability and her focus. <strong><em>And maybe that's what's happening here…</em></strong></p><p>Soon after, doctors tried pushing medications, and she hated it. She didn’t want to be medically dependent. She even went to school, furthering her counseling concentration, hoping for better insight into the human mind and experience. Hoping the road would lead her to help others not feel how she felt.</p><p>In the end, she determined education had no bounds over the human psyche. No amount of knowledge will subside grief. So, Charlie gave up. She did her occasional meditation or yoga. Tried to always take plenty of time for herself. Going to concerts or whatever her interests took her. Never allowing herself to pass up good times.</p><p>After the call with Maggie, she showered and headed to the office. When she drove there, she remembered Jensen mentioning paparazzi knew where she worked. Suddenly feeling like <em>they</em>were watching her. She pulled into the back entrance of the building and stealthily got on the back elevator, heading into her office. Kind of feeling like eyes were watching her. She didn't know if that was because her face was probably on their newsfeeds, or her name was in their emails.</p><p>Throughout the day, she tucked her head out to Celeste. Getting things done or requesting files, but never leaving the room. During her off time, she arranged pickups with the movers for her storage and car. In the latter half of her day, she cleaned out her office. Organizing everything she could for the next person to occupy her throne. Luckily Charlie had been bringing things home over the weeks, so there weren't a lot of things to take.</p><p>Charlie finished out her day and headed right back home, nervous to go anywhere or have her face seen. She felt like she was being extreme. Actually, she knew she was, but she also couldn't emotionally handle it. She didn't care if people knew she was dating Jensen. Why would she? She didn't care what they would say, and she knew they would say a lot. She just felt nervous about the potential attention that would bring. People would know who she was, her life, and her story.</p><p>The following day things went very smoothly, which Charlie was very grateful for. The storage company showed up, taking all her stuff away. For the time being, it would be kept in a storage location in Seattle until Charlie finally settled on a place for good. The towing company came to take her <em>Baby</em>. Except it was just a 2015 Jeep Compass, not an antique '67 Chevy Impala.</p><p>Tuesday night, the apartment was cleared out, and Charlie had to be the one to look back into the, now empty, expansive two-bedroom, open floorplan apartment she shared with her best friend for a little over five years. Remembering all the moments, good and bad. She wasn't just moving out. She was saying goodbye to an era, familiarity, and predictability. <em>She was walking into the unknown.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Fare Thee Well</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I remember one evening in the pouring rain<br/>And in my heart there was an aching pain<br/>Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well”<br/>-Fare Thee Well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie landed in Vancouver that Tuesday night, after the concert, feeling weird. When she returned to Seattle next week for her final few days of work, she wouldn't be going home anymore. Charlie didn't have a home in Seattle anymore. She got to Jensen's apartment alone, Cliff letting her in and making herself at home. Knowing how much Jensen petitioned for her to be there, she didn't feel like a female guest anymore.</p><p>When Jensen got home that night, he found her asleep on his bed. She had her laptop open and papers all about. She obviously fell asleep while working. He gently placed everything into a pile, on the chair, in the corner of his room. Climbing onto the bed and cuddling up to her. Charlie woke to his touch, a bit disoriented and out of place until she realized she was at Jensen's. She curled into him, allowing him to take her in his arms. Resting her head against his arm as they laid. Looking up to him and smiling with a sense of relief. For the first time in what felt like weeks, she felt at home. Even if it was temporary and not really her home. Wherever he was, was home.</p><p>“Hey, you.” He smiled down at her as she looked up at him, smiling silly.</p><p>“Hi, beautiful.”</p><p>"Aren’t those my words?" Jensen said as he moved down to land a sweet kiss on her lips.</p><p>“I say it like I see it.”</p><p>He moved back in, kissing her deeply, diving his tongue into her mouth, tasting and wanting her, before pulling back and rubbing his nose with hers. “Talk to me,” he says against her lips, pecking them one more time. “And don’t say you’re fine. You just uprooted your entire life. You just left your home behind. I know that’s gotta do something.”</p><p>“I’m not fine. I miss Maggie… But I’ll be okay. I promise.” She pushed her face into his neck. Jensen sighs, holding her head. “Can I ask you something?” Charlie asked against him as he played with her hair.</p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>"Or rather confirm something…” She looked up at him. “You recommended Maggie? … to Amblin?"</p><p>Charlie kind of always knew it. It was either Jensen, Jared, or Misha. But Jared is too preoccupied with his kids, life, and very pregnant wife to have even gotten close enough to Maggie in that way. Though the two do interact. She's closer to Misha. But the other day, when Jensen tried explaining himself, he let it slip. She didn't say anything at the time, not feeling it was the time or place. There really didn't need to be a time or place. But she realized Jensen felt guilt in all this because, in a way, he was right. He recommended Maggie. As a result, her dreams were realized, and of course, Charlie adored him for it, but it also meant the life Charlie knew was, well, over. Maggie allowed her to ignore everything that was missing, and now that she was gone, she couldn't ignore that anymore. When it came down to the very root, it wasn’t Jensen… it was Charlie. Charlie held her friend back.</p><p>So, as she looked up at Jensen, this man, who has blessed her life in ways she couldn't even explain, there was a warmth to the bittersweet knowledge of his innocent little gesture.</p><p>As Charlie's thoughts rambled, Jensen looked at her with apprehension. "Yes."</p><p>She smiled at him. Not a super excited and happy smile. But a tired, proud, and accepting smile. For a second, Charlie didn't know what she was going to say. Until the words "Thank you" came out of her mouth. And when they did, she knew that's what she felt at that moment. Appreciation.</p><p>Jensen looked at her questionably. “You’re welcome. But…you’re not upset?”</p><p>She smiled again and moved in to hug him tighter. "No. I appreciate you for it. Thank you for doing it for me”</p><p>“Doing what?”<br/>“Giving her a reason to walk away. Cause I never would have let her.”</p><p>Jensen chuckled, only slightly getting the significance of her grateful admission.</p><p>As they laid in the bed, Charlie clearly vulnerable, he made a point to show her love, attention, and affection, not sex, desire, or need. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him and where she was, hoping it would, in a small way, ease some stress. He knew it didn't fix anything, but he also knew there was little he could do. So, his persistent presence and support were what she got.</p><p>As the days pass, Charlie eventually got emails from magazines, blogs, and reporters reaching out for comments and details. When she finally mustered the courage to go on social media, people even found pictures of her that she never posted. One's of her at galas or events over the years. They found a shamefully awkward one from high school. She wasn't happy about that. Before her early twenties, she was awkward. She hadn't grown into herself. In the photo, Charlie had braces, glasses, and shorter hair. If she could find the asshole who posted the photograph, they would get a piece of her mind.</p><p>However, Charlie refused to be outed. It was a lot, definitely a lot, but she wasn't going to be pushed into a corner. She hoped when this day came, she would have the courage to face it head-on. She knew if she didn't, it would do more harm than she was willing to allow.</p><p>So, she went through her photos, finding an old one of her around the same time as the others. Charlie was with her father; they were in the desert hiking, and she looked awkward as ever. She posted it with another photo of her with Maggie in Oregon while they were hiking a few months back. The photograph was a complete contrast showing Charlie with straight, perfect teeth, her natural loose curly long hair, and post Lasik, so no glasses. Leaving a fitting caption – "Glow-up? Am I using that right? 🤷🏻♀️” and let the hits come.</p><p>Charlie didn’t have the best self-confidence. She thought everyone was far more beautiful than her. But at least acknowledged she went through the awkward, ugly duckling stage and eventually found her legs. When moving in with her mother after her father passed, she was whipped into being more <em>‘ladylike’</em>. Her mother helped her dress more flattering. Making her do more yoga, which, she would say, would accentuate her “<em>glorious, genetic, and god given goods.” </em>Charlie eventually grew out her hair, letting it live past her boobs. Ultimately, her mother showed Charlie the importance of self-care and a beauty regimen.</p><p>In the beginning, she hated her mother for it. To her, it was just another way to tell Charlie, she wasn't good enough or pretty enough unless she overdid it or did it to her mother’s liking. But as time went on, Charlie learned to appreciate it. She learned to find herself in all the mess. Learning to find her own fashion with a mixture of comfort and cute. Still reserved, but stylish.</p><p>Her mother's ways weaved into the intricacies of her life. She learned to be very particular about her skin. She ate very healthy for the most part and was very mindful of what she put inside her body. She had a slight obsession with her hair. Even she had to admitted. She never let it be short after the whole nail polish incident. She was not the flaunty girly girl as most girls around her growing up were. She hated make-up, still did, only applying liner and mascara every once in a while just so her brown eyes don't nullify her outfits.</p><p>Charlie geared toward clothing that covered her, only wearing less on special occasions. She envied girls that walked around in stilettos and mini crop tops like nothing in the world could touch them. She would never be that girl. Partly because her boobs would never allow the chance for a crop top, but also because she could be that confident. So now, here she was. No doubt the comparisons would come, and Charlie would have to be faced with the fact that she wasn't pretty enough. She didn’t follow the latest fashion. She didn’t have the most glamorous face. She wasn't as pretty as Danneel, Gen, Ruth, Briana, or Maggie. Or as graceful and photogenic for that matter.</p><p>She ignored the articles that kept coming. Some people who knew Charlie went onto social media defending her against the false information circulating. The fans that were 'pro-Charlie' went on to defend her as well. Coining something called ‘ships’ for them, that Charlie never even heard of. And with that, apparently <em>‘Chensen’</em> and ‘<em>Meackles</em>’, was born. She found it hilarious, which helped her feel a little bit better about everything. Even though they didn’t even know her, some people were on her side. More information began to come out, her father's musical history, her credentials, and deceased fiancé, however not how he died. Jensen tried his best to shield her and asked her not to pay attention to what was said. For the most part, she didn't. Charlie did everything possible to keep herself distracted.</p><p>The night before the meeting with all the sponsors and legal, having everyone sign off on everything. Jensen and Charlie laid on the couch in the living room. Charlie laid on his stomach, between his legs, as the tv played in the background. Jensen could tell she was off in her head, evidently preoccupied with seeing Beau the next day.</p><p>"What is it about this guy?" Jensen asked.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“This dude. Beau. The one that has you all bent out of shape. As if I’m not going to notice. Are you still in love with him?”</p><p>"No," Charlie said, but she didn’t seem convinced in her answer.</p><p>She moved from resting on his chest. Turning to look up at the ceiling. Jensen sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Tucking his face into her hair and neck, resting his chin on her shoulder. He stayed silent, waiting for her to keep going. </p><p>“A part of me doesn’t want him to meet you.”</p><p>"We're literally meeting as a collective group to sign legal documents and move on with our lives."</p><p>"If I know him, that’s not going to happen.”</p><p>"Meaning what? Does he have some control over you or something? Is there something I need to know about?”</p><p>"No. No skeletons." Charlie smiled, pushing her head into his face to nudge him. Jensen chuckled. "I don’t think. Who knows with him? But really, Jus me. Just like I have to deal with Matt and my past… I have to deal with Beau."</p><p>“Meaning?”</p><p>"He was my first Jensen. Girl never forgets her first. Actually, they actively work towards avoiding falling for anyone like that for the rest of their lives." She laughs. “I guess I have to forgive him.”</p><p>"For what, things like the wedding?" Jensen asked, his voice evidently annoyed. He had his opinions and feelings about Beau.</p><p>"No. As much as you wanna be upset with him about the wedding. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, I was emotionally vulnerable… I think if I never had sex with him, I would never have had sex with anyone. He was like ripping off the Band-Aid. He was also familiar. At the time, I needed familiar. Kinda, like the same thing with Vicky. You weren't comfortable putting yourself out there. It was almost a comfort thing. I don't feel comfortable opening my legs to anyone. If I'm going to, why not someone who's available and someone I've already been with. I knew what to expect. Being drunk just let me get through it."</p><p>Jensen's body tightens around her. "Really? Get through it? I get that I wasn't there, and there may be more to the story, but no. From what you've told me about him, knowing what I know about the situation, no, I don’t like it. I just don't feel that warranted him taking advantage of you. You just don’t deserve it. I’m sorry. As a guy, I know that's what he did. It would be different if you were dating or had something going on...maybe. I feel like the argument could be I had sex with you when you drank a couple times. However, I'm dating you. I also drank with you, I stayed with you, wake up with you. Made sure you were okay. I'm in an intimate, albeit slightly complicated, sexual relationship with you. I gave you what you wanted for it to be reciprocated, not only in sex but in partnership and intimacy. I didn't use you to get my dick wet and bounce soon after, not even bothering to make sure you were okay. Or anything. He just left you there, Charlie."</p><p>"I know. Jesus." Charlie repelled to his words.</p><p>“Sorry to be harsh, but you gotta see that. Don't give him another excuse to do whatever he does to you.”</p><p>“You act like I don’t regret it. Like the idea doesn’t make me skeeve. I know, Jensen. That’s not how I feel now. That’s how I felt. That’s why I did it.”</p><p>“True. You're just so on edge about tomorrow. Why?”</p><p>"I just don't want him anywhere near you. Or Misha. Or Jared. Or anything good in my life. That's always how it goes. I'm in a good place, and he can't stand it. He needs that good place to be him, so he tries to fuck it up. And this is my fault. I didn’t think it through when I reached out to Kathy and Jon. It was bad timing on my part, and that's fine. I’m not going to avoid them because of him. But I know how Beau gets. He's, for lack of a better term, a brat. If he knows he can’t have me, and I'm with you, it will become a game for him. With you, it's not a game I'm willing to play.”</p><p>"How do you know that?"</p><p>"I don't, for sure, but that's why I'm on edge. I need tomorrow to be done and Friday to be here. I just don't like having him in my orbit. He's chaos, but he does it in a stealthy way. With a smile on his face and a prince charming attitude. He did it with Matt, and he did it with Maggie. It's a control thing. He's manipulative. No one can be as close as he is or was to me. And to him, he knew he was my first, so that gave him his kicks. He loved that he had that small little speck of power over me. And because I was so gullible and naive and in love, and desperate for acceptance and a man's love, I let him. Thank god I’ve matured and digressed. I know it’s been a long time, but it happened. Seeing that Charlie and the Charlie I am now. I can’t ignore how stupid I was. But when I dated Matt, and Beau found out, he played games. Started a lot of shit with me and him. Matt… he wasn't controlling, but he had trust issues.” Jensen sighed, knowing he was guilty in that department to an extent. "Not like you. You have your wounds, and that's fine. That’s understandable. You wanna make me your little property so you can sleep confident at night, fine. I have no intentions to wander and I understand the reasoning behind it. We’ve agreed on that. That’s an understanding. But Matt was just…” Charlie sighed. She knew she had to open up about him sometime. “-manic. He was irrational at times. He found out early into our relationship, he was bi-polar, late-onset. And, when he was good, he was great. But when he was manic, he was emotionally unstable and at times paranoid.”</p><p>“So that’s…?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>"It's like once I think I've heard it all," Jensen said, into her neck. Charlie moved into him, needing his warmth.</p><p>"After getting the proper help, he was fine. I mean, it was touch and go, and nothing would ever be the same, but we knew what it was. It helped us work towards a goal. We understood what it meant, that every day, week and month would be a struggle. It helped me be patient with him, and I was. I made sure he went to his appointments, took his meds, did his therapy. After a while, that was my life. I understood the way he was, wasn't because he didn't trust me or because I was wrong. It was because he couldn't control it. That, even though he was a fully functioning, normal, and awesome human being, there were aspects to himself even he couldn’t control. In the beginning, that was hard to grasp, but eventually, he thrived on order. He was very neat, clean, and obsessive. He had to have things a certain way, in a certain place, but it helped him. It helped ground him.” Jensen rested his head on her shoulder, watching Charlie talk about Matt, in a way she hasn’t done at all since they’ve been together. “I think, after a while, I learned to be like that. Now it’s a comfort thing, but I learned to be as compulsive as he was. I never wanted to disrupt him. When things weren't right, that threw me off, so I knew it would throw him off. If that makes sense.”<br/>Jensen nods on her shoulder, kissing her neck, “Yeah.”</p><p>“He was on medication, and things were great until they weren't. He lost his job right after we got engaged. Through no fault of his own, the company downsized. He was in IT, so he thought it would be easy to get a new one, but… I don't know. He just never bounced back. They started changing his medications, I monitored him." Charlie spoke, not blinking, looking down at Jensen’s hands. "I made sure to call him every day. I was trying to go back to school. I was working for both of us and also trying to move up, build my resume. I didn’t care about all of it, though. It didn't bother me. Matt was a good man. He was. He was troubled, and he had his moments, but at the end of the day, he was there when I needed him. He was my best friend. There were so many moments where he made me smile and laugh. He loved all the nerdy stuff, you know?” She begins to cry. “He loved comic books and anime. Supernatural." She looked at Jensen, and he smiled. “He played video games but showed me how to play and played with me. We did fun and crazy things together. That's what makes it harder. You know? He made me happy. <em>I was</em> happy. It wasn’t perfect. But I felt… whole. In my own little way,” she sobs, tears falling down her face. “I was working back-to-back, and I was in school some nights. When I spoke to him before, he seemed… normal. But I was being pulled in ten different directions. I had all these tabs open in my head. Things to do. Things to stay on top of. I was handling him, school, two jobs.” She spoke, her voice cracked. “I literally replay it over and over and over in my head. Like maybe there was something I missed. Something I could have done. I know I was busy, but I was doing what I could. And maybe if I had just taken a second, maybe he was telling me all along, and I was just too fucking lost in my own la-la land to realize it. I mean, I know they say there is nothing you can do, but…”</p><p>Jensen held her, not saying anything, letting her finish and get out what she needed to get out. She was finally talking about Matt. He pressed his face to hers as she pressed into him, breathing heavily, as she sobbed.</p><p>"How can something, so pure, someone, so good, feels so inclined to do something so drastic? And how do you… as their partner, the person who, day in and day out, cared for him, Devoted herself to him. How can you not blame yourself? How can you not see everything laid out in front of you, and pick apart every last minute, hour and day? Pinpointing moments here or there, that you could have just done better, or different and somehow it would have just changed everything. And after, how do you… how do you just move on? How do you just accept it and say, ‘better luck next time’?” She cries. “Then when I accepted it. Right at the edge of swallowing it and moving on, I found out I was pregnant. And every single dream, every ounce of happiness, every ounce of hope, and peace I had in me died with it.” Charlie pressed her hands to her face, sobbing uncontrollably now finally letting It take her. Jensen turned her around in his arms, making her sit across his lap, cradling her.</p><p>“Everyone thinks there’s a remedy for what I feel, but there are so many things I feel, I don't know how to feel, Jensen." She sobs. "There is a hole in my heart, and nothing, <em>nothing</em> I do will fill it. And I’m scared of so much. There is so much! I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose someone like that again. I can't lose pieces of myself anymore. I can’t. I can’t do it.” She continues to cry.</p><p>"Hey, hey." Jensen cradles her face, pressing her forehead against his. “Look at me.” She kept crying, her eyes closed, letting the tears pool and stream down her cheeks. “Look at me.” She opened her eyes. “That won’t happen again. Do you understand me? It was a tragedy, you endured a tragedy, but you’ve overcome it. You survived it, Charlie. You need to move on from it.” Jensen’s eyes begin to water, seeing how upset she was. Finally, hearing her truth and becoming overcome himself. “I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings or downplay what you went through. I can’t even begin to understand. I don't think any of us are. I don’t think any of us can. You, hands down, have gone through something very few people will understand. I've experienced loss, even those close to me. It's hard, but <em>that… that’s different.</em>”</p><p>"I'm trying," she says, calmer now, but tears still falling.</p><p>“I know you are. But even I have to admit, the way you handle your life is fine, but the way you tiptoe around the subject of Matt and everything that came before and after him isn't. And we were fine until Maggie left. That's when I feel like I lost you emotionally. Or after you told me what you told me. If you're handling your shit fine, I understand that. I'll let you process, and I'm here if you need me. I know you're tired of the subject, and the constant worrying, but Charlie, look at what you just told me and look at your situation. Wouldn't you be worried too?"</p><p>She nodded, "yes."</p><p>“Look, in regard to you getting help, maybe you don’t want to get help for reasons you’re not seeing or avoiding. Maybe getting a second opinion wouldn’t hurt. I’m not pushing it, but…”</p><p>“I know,” she sobs. “It just really hurts.”</p><p>"I know. But that's why we keep getting in your face and annoying you. Trying to get you to understand, you have to go through it or it will never stop hurting. And when you do, we're here." He gives her a kiss. Nuzzling his nose with hers. “Me, Maggie, Misha, M2. J2.” Kissing her again, letting it linger.</p><p>Charlie chuckled a bit. "You're only saying the name to make me feel better. You didn’t even find it funny.”</p><p>"I didn’t at first. I was in a mood.” he laughed.</p><p>She looked at him, smirking, knowing he was just trying to make her smile.</p><p>“I don’t really tell anyone about the shit you tell me. Obviously. Misha knows what you tell him in passing. He more senses you’re… distance. Jared knows what happened with Matt. But nothing else. So, he’s not really aware of what’s going on, but I’m sure you can go to him. He also has a better grasp on being in the limelight and having to <em>fight his own demons, so to speak</em>.”</p><p>"I know. I thought about it. He’s just been busy with Gen and the kids. I also just need everything to die down. I'll be fine when everything goes back to a normal. I’ll have my heart to heart with Jarpad when everything dies down.”</p><p>Jensen laughs and gives her another kiss. “I know this is bad timing, but you’re so cute when you’re upset.”</p><p>“I am a grown ass woman, Jensen. I don’t like words like cute. Adorable, maybe. I am adorable. I am not cute.” She joked.</p><p>He looked down at her perfect and plump little lips pouting, biting his to hold back. Wanting to take them between his teeth and to suck them raw. But he had to be good. "Whatever you say."</p><p>Thursday, Charlie met everyone at the studio. She requested Celeste to fly in to assist her through everything, ensuring a smooth process. She also wanted her to meet Misha. Maggie flew in Wednesday night, staying with Olivia. Everyone would get a run-through of their separate assignments or whatever their settled and negotiated contribution was to the project. Random acts would be present with legal having them finally sign off on everything. Major talents like Jensen, Misha, and Jared needed further confirmation with the studio and logistics. Eventually, everyone would be meeting in a final in-person summit in the afternoon. During this time, Misha and Random Acts would provide a detailed timeline to everything as a group. Notifying the gang the first convention was scheduled for January.</p><p>For the most part, the day went smoothly for Charlie. She kept in contact with Misha the whole day, keeping him updated on changes if any. After the fifth meeting and repeating the same stuff, over and over, Charlie mentally checked out. By the time she got to Beau and Kathy, she played cordial with him, only talking to Kathy, catching up. Letting Celeste run over everything with them as Charlie busied herself on her phone. She could feel Beau watching. His eyes peering into her. She busied herself with social media, trying to beat Misha to the punch.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>--PHOTO OF MARKETING DESIGN FOR FIRST JANUARY FESTIVAL--</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>Liked by <em>jensenackles</em> and 8,804 others</strong>
  </p>
  <p><strong>charliemaeson</strong> HA! I beat you to it <strong>@misha</strong>! </p>
  <p>This is it, guys! We did it, FINALLY. The first #SuperActsFinaleFestival (SAFF) is scheduled, ready, and prepped...kinda! Sort of an homage to a collective group of amazing people, helping another group of amazing people.</p>
  <p>Follow the link in my profile, and you'll find a list of small businesses and corporations that helped sponsor and bring you guys your favorite cast, crew, friends, and family. They are the ones who made it possible for us to have three festivals. And, trust me, the tickets are worth it. I promise!</p>
  <p>The link also lets you check out the different events we will be having at each festival. 90% of the proceeds raised for each event will go to charities you choose when you check out. When you check out, you also have the option to donate. Or you can just donate to donate. The additional 10%, yes 10%, will be matched by @warnerbros and put into funding for training new volunteers globally.</p>
  <p>😁😁</p>
  <p>Check out the link and learn about the different nonprofits and charities we partnered with. There is a wide range of causes from Childhood Hunger, Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, and so many more!</p>
  <p>Now, I know I said there were three festivals. However, there are only a select number of openings for each event.</p>
  <p>The first festival will be in Burbank, CA, on Saturday, January 25<sup>th</sup>, 2020 AT 10 AM-5PM.</p>
  <p>(HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAN WINCHESTER!) Check out the website for schedules and the list of events and guests.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>On the website, you can also donate. As a triple bonus 😉, I am personally ensuring those top 10 donators receive an autographed #SPN Print out.</p>
  <p>The website also has a list of volunteer positions that need to be filled for the event. Join the cast and crew, the #RandomActs gang, and myself as we will be volunteering. Maybe you'll end up volunteering with one of us? Wouldn't that be the coolest?!</p>
  <p>Oh! &amp; all volunteers will meet the cast, for a whole half hour, to ask them whatever they want… well, what's legally permissible. 😁</p>
  <p>And a double Coolio, the final festival is on Sam’s birthday. He’s my favorite. Don’t tell the angel. 😉</p>
  <p>LINK IN BIO – TICKETS GO ON SALE OCTOBER 13<sup>TH</sup>.</p>
  <p>Are you as excited as I am? Cause I am pretty darn excited!</p>
  <p>-x charlie</p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>TRIVIA: ANYONE KNOW WHAT EPISODE THIS SONG IS FROM? AND/OR WHAT MOVE? (WITHOUT GOOGLE, LOL)</p><p> </p><p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. You Got Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the meeting, everyone headed to the summit. Kathy and Charlie took time to catch up. Kathy even asked Charlie out for dinner later on in the night before she headed back to Los Angeles. While Kathy was over talking to Maggie and a few others, Charlie sat on her phone, taking a moment to herself after spending 5 hours straight in meeting after meeting.</p><p>"Are you avoiding me?” Charlie heard a familiar voice say from behind her. Her entire body froze. She didn't say anything, pretending not to hear. Except she felt Beau sit next to her, closer than she was comfortable with. Feeling her skin crawl at his proximity. She realized she was so accustomed and comfortable with Jensen's touch, his closeness. Beau's proximity just repelled her. Charlie looked over at him, eyes squinted. "What, Beau?"</p><p>"Talk to me. How've you been?" Beau asked with an arrogant smirk. "You look good. You look <em>real</em>good,” Beau said, looking Charlie up and down in a predacious way.</p><p><strong><em>He’s unbelievable.</em></strong> Charlie didn't want to deal with it. <em>Him.</em> She scoffed, unfolding her legs and beginning to stand, but Beau grabbed her arm before she got both heels to the floor. Looking around, making sure no one was really paying attention.</p><p>Charlie slowly turned her head to him, seething. “What?!”</p><p>“I miss you, Babe.”</p><p>"I'm not your babe."</p><p>"A little birdie told me you were back in the dating pool. Movin’ on up. Leavin’ us small folk behind.”</p><p>“Yeah?</p><p>"Yeah.”</p><p>"And, would that little birdie be the internet?" she said with an attitude.</p><p>"Never pegged you for a groupie."</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "Are you done?"</p><p>Beau looks at her intently, reading her face. "Let me guess, you have him now, so everything we had…was shit. Right? " He lightly grazes the tips of his fingers across her forearm. The only part of herself she allowed to show. Wearing a very conservative long sleeve mauve-colored dress. It was vintage-styled and cute, from a girl’s sense of fashion, but it showed nothing. It was very intentional. It covered her boobs and butt and whatever else.  Letting it be boxed away in this ill-flattering dress. So, of course, he touches the one part that wasn't covered just to tell her he noticed. Charlie pulled away, disgusted. “And now you have a prince charming to wish you away? With your high castle, private jets, and sugar daddy."</p><p>“It’s certainly better than a silver spoon.” She smiled back.</p><p>Beau was a brat. He grew up in wealth and spent his entire upbringing getting everything he wanted. And when Beau didn't get what Beau wanted, Beau didn't play nice.</p><p>“You’re telling me you don’t miss me?” He wanted to know he was getting to her.</p><p>"As much as I am looking forward to this walk down memory lane, is there a reason you’re holding me here? I have a meeting to assist in."</p><p>As Charlie and Beau sat in the corner, amongst the many huddled in groups, socializing, Jensen walks into the conference room with Jared. Looking around everywhere for her and finally finding Charlie with her back to him. A gentleman with dark brown slicked-back hair and a business suit sat a little too close to her. He could tell by Charlie’s demeanor, her posture, and the slight curve of her back as she leaned away from him, that was Beau.</p><p>Jensen tapped Jared's shoulder, signaling him to follow. Both, walking over to them. He sits on the side of Charlie, in a seat not being occupied, stealthily wrapping his arms around her waist. Charlie calmed when she felt him but freaked out a bit when she realized he caught her sitting with Beau. He looks at her, smiling just a fraction, reassuring her it was okay, before taking her chin and bringing her lips to his. Jared made a point to sit next to Beau, opposite them, introducing himself and firmly shaking Beau's hand. Seeing Charlie and Jensen, Beau sat back, straightening his posture, internally seething, but with a smile on his face.</p><p>“Hi, Baby,” Jensen said against her lips.</p><p>She looked at him in awe, surprised he would even do this. “Hi.” She bit her lip and smiled.</p><p>Jensen finally looks over to Beau, pretending he didn’t see him at first. “Oh, wow. Sorry, shit. I hope I wasn’t interrupting something.” He looked back to Charlie, smiling. “Just missed <em>my girl</em>.”</p><p>Charlie smiled, knowing he was just throwing another jab, and she loved it. She looked over, seeing Jared. He was smiling and shaking his head, holding a laugh. She gave him a small head nod, and he gave her the same. “Jensen, Jared, this is Beau Blane. Beau, this is Jensen Ackles, and that tall one is Jared Padalecki.”</p><p>The men shook hands while also having a silent conversation amongst themselves. Exchanging words, but Charlie was oblivious, distracted. Looking at Jensen as he looked away. Smiling and happy to feel saved by her towering and glorious prince charming<strong><em>. </em></strong>Lost there for a moment, consumed with pride and feeling indebted to him.<strong><em> I am, aren’t I? I’m his girl.</em></strong> <strong><em>And He’s my man. </em></strong></p><p>She takes a breath, composing herself and looking away and over to Beau and Jared.</p><p>"Big fan of the show. As soon as Charlie reached out, I couldn't say no. Amongst other things." Beau looks at Charlie she looks away. “I’ve also read a lot about you guys,” Beau says.</p><p>“Great things, I hope?” Jared asked.</p><p>Still looking at Charlie, Beau says, "The best." He moves his eyes up to meet Jensen, giving him a slight smirk, and chuckled. Beau stood up, squaring his shoulders and fixing his excessive suit, before turning to look at them. "It was lovely meeting you guys? Hope we meet again soon." Beau said and Jensen nodded. Beau chuckled one more time, "Glad to see Charlie's moving up.” She read the double meaning in his words. “It was good seeing you, Charlie. Say hello to your mother for me," he finished and walked away.</p><p>Charlie didn’t notice it before, but apparently, she was so on edge, she was gripping Jensen's side. When Beau was gone, she loosens her grip, looking up at Jensen apologetically. "I'm so sorry," she muttered.</p><p>He smiled at her. "You don't have anything to apologize for." He kissed her again, grabbing her hand and walking them over to where he was supposed to be sitting during the meeting.</p><p>Jensen made sure to have Charlie right next to him. Except for the moments she had to go up and talk to the group.</p><p>When Jensen saw <em>his </em>hand on her earlier, he was pissed, and wasn’t giving <em>him </em>another opportunity to touch her. Not if he could help it. Not while he’s around. The summit lasted a short time, and shortly after, everyone went their own way. Kathy left with Beau, saying later to Charlie and finalizing dinner plans for later in the night.</p><p>Jensen and the boys needed to head back to the set to finish filming for the day. Charlie spent the rest of the day with Olivia and Maggie. Making sure Celeste came along. Charlie didn't want her alone in a city she had never been to. So also wanted to spend some time with her best friend that she missed so much. They made it a girl day, nails, hair, the works. When Maggie was dropped off at the airport, needing to be back in LA, Charlie went to Celeste’s hotel until it was time for dinner with Kathy.</p><p>Charlie invited Celeste since she would be leaving the following morning after a little interview with Misha. Charlie wanted to treat her to dinner as a thank you and possible farewell gesture while she’s away from home. Kathy didn’t have a problem with her coming.</p><p>Jensen insisted Charlie take Cliff with her into the city, wanting to be mindful of paps or whatever else. So, Cliff picked Charlie up at the hotel, taking them to the restaurant. Charlie was filled with terror when she got out of the car, and there were a few paparazzi. Wondering how in the hell they would have known? <strong><em>Kathy would never. Would she?</em></strong>  Thankfully she had Celeste and Cliff helping her navigate as she became distracted by her first paparazzi experience. With their flashes and her name being called, she got lost in the lights, the surprise, and overwhelming mortification.</p><p>When they got inside, Charlie was riddled with even more anxiety when she saw Beau sitting at the table with Kathy. She almost turned around, but all she could think about were the few cameras waiting outside. She looked at the both of them, angry. Angry that someone gave a tip to the paparazzi, and Kathy had the nerve to invite Beau. Especially knowing how she felt towards him.</p><p>But Charlie was tired of being scared, or fragile. This little thing that let others control her. Not anymore. Not unless she gave them that control, willingly, not forcefully.</p><p>She also wasn't about to start an argument in the middle of a crowded and gawking restaurant, wondering who the hell she was. So, she sat, glaring at the two of them. Ordering drinks the moment she was seated. Taking a moment to text Jensen, pissed, and needing to say it to someone.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: There were people waiting outside the restaurant for me when I showed up. So, thank you for Cliff. Also, the little dinner with Kathy turned out to be a dinner with Kathy and Beau. Thank god I brought Celeste with me.</p><p> </p><p>She felt she might have regretted letting her boyfriend know she was out to dinner with her emotionally manipulating and abusive ex-boyfriend. Keeping up the conversation, playing the part. She felt safe knowing Cliff was watching, always looking over to see him at another table. Ever so often, he would nod, seeing her look over, making sure he was there.</p><p>Jensen never responded, and Charlie grew nervous, thinking maybe he’s upset. <strong><em>Fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything. </em></strong>As the dinner progressed, Charlie went to the bathroom for the second time. It was really an excuse to get away for a second. While she was away, she called Jensen, but he didn't answer. When she came to the table a few minutes later, she was surprised to find Jensen and Misha standing at the table. She walked up as the waitress told the group they had a larger table for them after Jensen, so kindly asked.</p><p>When she saw him, she was relieved but also slightly annoyed. "Really?" she asked as she took her seat next to him at the new table. "Hi, Mish." She said, as he took a seat next to her. Giving him a slight peck on the cheek as a thank you for coming and supporting her crazy but slightly justified boyfriend.</p><p>"Not a problem, Charlie," Misha nodded, going back to his conversation with Celeste.</p><p>After ordering their meals, Jensen switched Charlie’s drinks out for water, which annoyed her.<strong><em>He’s so particular about me drinking.</em></strong> She got even more annoyed as she watched Jensen, watch Kathy and Beau intensely. Charlie, looking too, trying to see what he was seeing. Or was it just blind rage. He was being slightly rude which wasn’t Jensen. He finally turned to her, smiling but not letting it touch his eyes. Moving in to plant a small kiss on her lips.</p><p>“Sorry, as soon as Cliff updated me, I was on my way here. Luckily, I finished work around the same time,” Jensen said, looking at Charlie, trying to communicate with his eyes. “Figured we stop by. Make sure things were… okay.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him feeling nervous. “Thank you.”</p><p>“So, Beau,” Jensen began. “Charlie tells me you have a business and do well for yourself. What kind of business?” If you don’t mind me asking.”</p><p>"Well, it's not Hollywood. Took some years and hard work. Jon and I patented a device used in vape pens and cartridges. Sold for millions. We capitalized on it. He handled the west coast. I handle the east."</p><p>"Handled? Past tense?" Charlie interjected, but Jensen interrupted.</p><p>"So why are you here?"</p><p>Charlie kicks him under the table, but Jensen ignores him. Beau sensed the double meaning in his question and looked over at Charlie, making her look away. "Everything's always so much better on the west coast."</p><p>Jensen's hand, which was on Charlie's thigh, began to squeeze. Not hard, but enough for her to need to end the subject.</p><p>“Uh, Kath. How’s Jon? Where is he?”</p><p>Jensen looked at her. She grabbed his hand on her thigh and squeezed it. Letting him know to calm down.</p><p>"He's in New York, actually. Handling something non-work related."</p><p>"Huh," Jensen said, rudely and almost in a scoff.</p><p>Charlie looked at him, surprised by how out of character he was being right now. “What the fuck, Jensen?” she said, very low. Then looking over to Misha as he ignores it, keeping talk with Celeste, Kathy eventually joining in.</p><p>Beau kept up to follow but was more focused on Jensen and Charlie. The two were listening to the conversation going, but neither were actually paying attention. Under the table, Jensen was ever so lightly pushing his hand up her thigh, between her legs. Moving her dress fabric to the side for better access. She wanted to stop him, but he was so resistant lately. He hasn’t touched her since Vegas. He had her needy, but she understood why. They had a strong feeling for one another, the intimacy, foundation, and relationship was there, but the sex was complicated. Complicated because it was a way to avoid shit. Using sex to fill a void within themselves. It was mutual. It was fine. They were perfect, and in a good place, but they were being tried, and using sex to avoid whatever, wasn't something Jensen wanted for Charlie right now. Or didn’t want.</p><p>She opened up to him, finally, and has been since. But when he saw Charlie with Beau, no matter how insistent she was about going, he didn't want her at dinner with her friend. He had a feeling this would happen and wanted her home, waiting for him when he got there. Settling for Cliff keeping her safe in the meantime. But after Jensen got word from Cliff that there were paps outside the restaurant before Charlie arrived, he knew someone tipped them. Cliff went on to add Beau was there when they showed up, and Charlie was uncomfortable. Jensen rushed to finish work, heading straight to her after. Making Misha tag along, so the cameras see the two of them also entering the restaurant, giving into the idea of a friendly gathering rather than a potential date between Charlie and Jensen.</p><p>As Jensen grazed his finger over Charlie's clit, diving deep into her folds, her natural instinct was to pull it away, but she didn't. She opened her legs under the table, giving him better access. As Misha and Kathy spoke, Jensen followed along, acting formal and unphased. It took everything in Charlie not to let out a moan. Occasionally letting her eyes close for a second to the sensations but Jensen would stop his actions, pulling her back.</p><p>They were facing the restaurant but were also in a private enough area, so no one would see. The only thing that would give it away was Charlie, and she wasn't going to lose this little fucked up game he was playing. When she did manage to slip, just a little, and let out a small moan, only Misha heard, being right next to her. Causing Misha's face to fall and look over to them, Jensen smiling at him and looking back to Kathy as she spoke. Misha watches Charlie as she sat, her hands balled in fists at her side, looking at him for a second before Jensen moved his fingers away, making her frustrated.</p><p>Misha smiled and looked away, shaking his head a bit. Knowing full well what Jensen was doing to her. Charlie looks at Jensen, upset. Apart from her knowing this was wrong. This was a restaurant, people were eating, she had others at her table. Suffice it to say, Jensen practically fingering her under the table while her ex-boyfriend unknowingly watches was intoxicating. His little need to mark his territory. Probably wanting to get a rise out of Beau, while at the same time, making her need for him even more. Kathy and Celeste were oblivious, or maybe they weren’t. As she looked at Beau for a second, irritation clearly evident in her face. Jensen saw, taking her chin with his free hand and giving her a wet kiss. Then turned his attention back to the table.</p><p>She felt embarrassed she was letting him do this, but, also fucking loved it, and he knew it. To have others unknowingly watch. Knowing it was frowned upon, knowing they could get caught but doing it anyway. Especially having Beau across from them. But she still felt guilty realizing she was doing this in front of Celeste.</p><p>Charlie got up from her seat again, making the excuse of needing the bathroom. When she got to the bathroom hall, she was startled by a hand grabbing her waist and guiding her, finding it to be Jensen. He pulled her into the Family restroom, locking the door behind them, pushing her against the wall, and watching her.</p><p>“What are you doing, Jensen?”</p><p>"I don't want you around him."</p><p>"Obviously. I didn't choose this. Beau wasn't supposed to be here."</p><p>In one quick step, he was on her, his lips on hers. He moved his hands to her ass. Pushing her over to the sink counter, lifting her onto it.</p><p>“Jensen.” She tried to protest. “No.” She tried to jump off, but he stopped her. Pulling her dress up and feeling her thighs, ass, and hips. Wanting so bad to take her right there in that bathroom. As much as she protested, she wanted it too. She wanted him so bad. She needed him.</p><p>“Jensen.” She said again. “Babe. Not here.”</p><p>"I know. I just need you," Jensen said, hot and heavy against her lips.</p><p>She knew Beau being around wasn't helping him either. There had to be a small part of him that needed all this to go away too. “I’m sorry." He finally said, resting his head against her forehead, his eyes closed, looking troubled.</p><p>Charlie chuckled. “Are you apologizing for almost fingering me under a dinner table? Or almost fucking me in the bathroom of a 5-star restaurant? When you're needy, your reckless, Ackles." She laughs.</p><p>“Both. I’ve just been holding back.”</p><p><strong><em>Boy, do I know.</em></strong> “For days, yes.”</p><p>He chuckled, moving his head to her neck. "Yes."</p><p>"We <em>can</em> have sex, you know?"</p><p>"I was trying to give you space."</p><p>"Not that kinda space, Jen. I’m not the only one with needs. You can’t just suppress that part of yourself like that. And not that I’m complaining here, but really?” She gestured to the bathroom, the room, the restaurant. “I mean, I get it, but… seems kinda out of character. All of this does.”</p><p>"I know. Just- with him. Your friends. You. Misha.”</p><p>Charlie remembered Misha discovering what Jensen was doing under the table. She also began to remember how exhilarating it felt, even when Misha caught them. If not better, when he did. She shook the thought off.</p><p>"What about me? What about my friends?”</p><p>"What about you? -- Charlie, look at you!”</p><p>Charlie looked down at herself. She was wearing the same conservative covering dress. Her hair was down, and her boobs were tucked away. She looked like a grade school teacher. She looked like a grandma. “It’s not even showy. You don’t even see my boobs. The dress is to my knees.” She looked at him, confused.</p><p>He smiled. “Whatever you wear, you’re going to be hot, even in that dress. You have a small waist and killer curves. But the dresses… they kill me. You look…fucking hot.”</p><p>Charlie blew him off for a second. "What about my friends?"</p><p>“Oh," he looked at her guiltily. “Yeah, they’re definitely fucking.”</p><p>Charlie's face falls. “Kathy and Beau?”<br/>Jensen nods. Charlie’s mouth opened, about to argue with him, but everything clicked into place, all making sense. That's why Jon wasn't here. That's why Jon didn't reach out after a while. That’s why he was weird when she spoke to him about everything. <strong><em>That’s why Beau is here…</em></strong> The way they are at dinner, at the meetings. She wanted to smack herself for not seeing it.</p><p>“Oh,” was all she could say.</p><p>Jensen, still between her legs, looks down at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I know your friends with her husband.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, upset. "Is anything sacred anymore? Jesus.” She shakes her head. “They were such a good couple. They have kids. Their son’s name is Charles. I love him. He’s adorable.” She whines.</p><p>“So, Charlie?” Jensen asked with a smile. She nods with a look of pure disappointment and sadness. “You never know… maybe they’re like a throuple," Jensen said, with excitement in his eyes.</p><p>She looks up at him, shaking her head. She pushed him off her. "Take me home. Make up some stupid shit. I don't care. I just wanna go home." She looks dead at him. “You better fuck me when we get home,” she said, strong and firm.</p><p>Jensen looked at her, his eyes wide with surprise at her demand, “Okay...”</p><p>She unlocked the door and walked out into the restaurant looking like a woman on a mission. He watched Charlie disappear into the hall, still taken back by her gumption. Finding it super-hot and followed behind her, excited for <em>home</em>.</p><p>They went out to the table and ended the night. Charlie, not feeling pleasantries with Kathy and Beau. So, Jensen and Misha bid their goodnights, getting them away from her, as Charlie went off to apologize to Celeste.</p><p>“I’m so sorry for leaving you hanging and all the craziness. It’s just, Beau. Then Jensen. Then Beau and Jensen.”</p><p>Celeste laughs. "Dude, you're cool. I just had dinner with Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins. I can die happy now. There are so many things about today I have to be happy about. Besides, I know you were kinda out of it today with Beau. I know enough about him to know he’s trouble for you. Plus, him showing up tonight. I get it.”</p><p>"Good, thank you.”</p><p>"I know you'll be coming to Seattle to stay with me for your last two days. But I want to say thank you. Seriously. You were always nice to me, Charlie. Always inviting, understanding, and someone to look up to. I appreciate you giving me a word with Misha. Could you imagine!?” Celeste beamed.</p><p>“You are more than welcome. Don’t feel obligated to say yes. I know the position is a lot to take on. But you would learn a lot with him. It would open a lot of doors. I know you’re done school now and was looking for more… so… here’s more.” Charlie smiled.</p><p>"And if our paths don't cross after Tuesday… thank you, but also… you deserve a lot. You deserve the best. Don't ever let anyone make you feel or think otherwise," Celeste said, looking over to Beau.</p><p>Charlie was upset. She didn't want to say by to Celeste. She was always kind of a good friend, but Charlie kept her at arm’s length because she was her superior. "Can we be best friends now?" Charlie asked.</p><p>The two ladies got Cliff's attention, telling him to get the car, and ran towards it, avoiding the cameras and laughing like idiots as they did. They drove Celeste to her hotel, and Charlie waved goodbye, saying she’ll see her Sunday night when she landed in Seattle. Then dropping off Misha at the studio, so he could be driven home.</p><p>When they got into the apartment, Jensen went into the kitchen to grab a drink after what felt like a long day. Charlie went straight for the bedroom, quiet and still lost in her head. Jensen poured them both a few shots, standing in the kitchen, sipping on his bourbon. He walks into the bedroom, two glasses in hand, finding Charlie in the bathroom. He leaned against the doorframe, looking her up and down as she was in her underwear getting ready for a bath. She casually brushed her hair as the hot water ran. Charlie was looking at herself in the mirror.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Jensen asked.</p><p>She didn't say anything. She walked over to him, grabbing one of the glasses and wrapping her arms around him.</p><p>“Are you okay?” she asked. “I’ve been so preoccupied with myself I forgot to worry about you.”</p><p>He smiled, letting out a small laugh. “I’m perfect. I’m with you.”</p><p>“Good answer.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Pink Matter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"That soft pink matter<br/>Cotton candy, Majin Buu, oh, oh, oh<br/>Close my eyes and fall into you, you, you”<br/>-Frank Ocean</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie pulls away from Jensen, downing the glass in one gulp and never taking her eyes off him. After everything today, Charlie didn't give ashit about anything but Jensen. He had been putting his needs to the side, trying to make sure she was okay. Stepping in today for her, even though she would never ask for it. Knowing it was what she needed most of all.</p><p>Of course, Charlie wanted nothing more than to let him fuck her brains out, wanting him so bad it hurt. But she didn't want to make it about her anymore. Charlie didn't want him to play nice. She needed to give herself to him. Tonight had to be about Jensen.</p><p>She took his glass, putting them both down on the shelf next to the door. Jensen takes her in for a kiss, not meaning to make it more, but the moment their lips touched, the realization of finally being alone after everything today. The charge they had been suppressing for the past three days comes rushing through the surface. Instantly they’re all over each other. Feeling everything they were holding back. Everything they could physically feel. Jensen lifts her, wrapping her legs around him and walking them over to the bathroom counter. Pushing her onto it. Charlie fervently works to remove his clothes. Making sure never to leave his lips. First his jacket and his shirt, then his belt. Getting his jeans down just enough. Jensen pulls back, pulling her underwear down and off. He got to his knees, leaving a few kisses on her thigh before he began to lick and eat her out.</p><p>Charlie grips the bathroom counter, throwing her head back when she felt him on her, working away. Trying to stay open for him, but she didn’t want to wait anymore. Pulling Jensen back up to her lips, tasting herself, she pulls him closer to her, moving her attention to his hard and ready cock. Charlie leaned back on the open counter, opening her legs wider for him. Looking down as he strokes himself a few times. He lined up at her hole and plunged right in. Feeling how wet and tight she was.</p><p>Charlie let out a moan followed by a scream as Jensen instantly began a ruthless rhythm. He was purely working to get them both off. Within a couple minutes, Charlie was cumming hard and trying to grip onto something as Jensen fucked her through her orgasm, never letting in. When she finished gripping his dick, letting him know she was down from her climax, he pulled out, turning her around, bending her over the counter, and taking her from behind.</p><p>Neither of them, taking time for pleasantries. They both spent days in close quarters, intimately, but hadn’t had a shred of sex. The need for a release far weighed their need for anything else in the moment. And when Charlie came first, it wasn't enough. She needed so much more. She always needed more. But both just settled for a quickie, needing a release.</p><p>As Jensen fucked her hard from behind, Charlie's legs begin to falter from how good it felt, unable to hold herself up. Her legs, shaking, and knees letting out.</p><p>Jensen pulled her hips up into him more, holding her to him. Making him go deeper and pushing Charlie farther onto the counter. Her face almost pushed into the mirror. He pulled her hair, making her back arch, making her moan even louder.</p><p>“Fuck, Charlie,” Jensen moan.</p><p>Charlie continues to moan back as he steadily worked her. Pressing her hands into the foggy glass, trying to stop her head from pressing into it as he slams into her repeatedly. For a split second, she remembered the hot water running, but she couldn’t form an intelligible thought to care. All she thought about was how fucking good he felt, focusing on the curves and veins on his dick rubbing against her walls and his head hitting that sweet, sweet spot.</p><p>"Have I ever told you how god damn amazing you feel? So- fucking-tight." He says through his teeth between each thrust.</p><p>She moaned, loud this time. His words turning her on. "Oh, god!... Yes. Yes.” She cried below him. “You love my tight little pussy, Baby?", she said. Surprised the words even came out of her mouth but felt absolutely inclined to say it. Giving him what he wanted.</p><p>"God, yes."</p><p>"It's <em>your</em>s, Jensen. I’m all yours. Fuck me. Baby. Fuck me.” She repeated the words, over and over, feeling him hit that sweet spot again, Charlie's orgasm building. Jensen grunts loudly, speeding up as he felt her. Causing Charlie’s fingers to curl against the glass. She threw her arms back, gripping onto his forearms as he held her hips. Helping her stay with him as he ruthlessly thrusts. Before she knew it, she was cumming again. This time he came with her. Biting down on her shoulder, pushing deeper into her, then grabbing her breasts and holding her against him, as he came hard in her. Kissing her shoulder and muffling his moans, the sound almost music to Charlie’s ears.</p><p>They both stood bent over the counter, composing themselves, all sweaty, breathless, and hot. Charlie walks over to the bath, turning off the water. She walks back over to Jensen, kissing him deeply, diving her tongue into his mouth, and biting on his lip as she pulled away. He moved to take her bra off as Charlie walked them over to the tub. Both getting in, but Charlie making Jensen rest between her legs, as she held him close to her. Never wanting to let him go.</p><p>They took turns scrubbing each other as they wine down after a very long day. Both preparing for Jensen to leave for Texas in the morning. But taking some time to just relax first.</p><p> </p><p>"Because you get all grumpy and surly-looking when your stress or annoyed. It’s kinda hot. It’s actually really hot. Make me all hot and bothered.” Charlie says into Jensen’s ear, kissing his neck and massaging his chest under the water. Explaining to him how he handles his emotions. "You try to make it seem like you have it all together, but on the inside, you're just-" she kisses his shoulder, softly, delicately. "-this sweet-sensitive baby looking for love," kissing his shoulder again. "Acceptance."</p><p>Jensen laughs under her, then hums to the feeling of her warm lips on his neck. “You think so?” He asked. His eyes closed, as he relaxes to the feeling of her hands caressing his body under the water.</p><p>“Mhmm.” Charlie hummed, biting at his ear. “And it's like, I just wanna hold you, and show you all the love I can. Everything my body can muster." She squeezed her thighs and arms around him, holding him tight. Feeling him chuckle against her chest. "Thank you for being mine."</p><p>Jensen turned his head to hers, pulling her in for a kiss. He turned around in her legs, never taking his lips off of hers. Sitting on the other end of the tub, making Charlie straddle his lap.</p><p>“You ever find yourself thinking about how this started?</p><p>Charlie laughs. "You mean last month?"</p><p>“It’s been over a month.”</p><p>"Fine, like seven weeks.”</p><p>"Yes," Jensen said, giving her a cheeky smile and a quick kiss. "I miss it."</p><p>"Not sunshine and daises anymore?”</p><p>"It is. I think it always will be with you. It's just…”</p><p>"I know… the bubble.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>"After those first two weeks, things got…real. Real quick. Work, your sexual escapades” She laughs. “Maggie…my unwanted limelight.”</p><p>“Yes. All that. And, I’m fine with it all. I’m not saying I have regrets. It’s just…everything was new.”</p><p>"Are they no longer that?”</p><p>“They are.” He laughed. “Just think things are different with us. It was different from the bat, though. I’m always going to want to be near you. You'll always be my liberation. But with my divorce coming to a close, being a father, an actor, producer, director-“</p><p>"Lover-boyfriend-protector-provider-and defender." She smiles but was also trying to get where he was going with this.</p><p>Jensen looks at her. "You said something to me once. That if this ever fell apart, you’d be there for me.”</p><p>She got serious for a second, remembering it. “I did. I meant it.”</p><p>"And I would be there for you. I just…I don't think I can ever walk away from you, Charlie. But…sometimes I wonder, why? Why do you stay? There is so much that comes with me."</p><p>"And? I'm just a walk in the park? Please. You just had an awkward dinner with my ex-boyfriend… and, I guess, ex-friend now. I have a complicated family dynamic, upbringing, and past. I’m emotionally fucked up, with years and years of abandonment issues. Just because you have responsibilities doesn't make you a burden, Jensen. It makes me care for you more. No one is perfect. I’m far from perfect.”</p><p>“Arguable.”</p><p>“It’s not about being perfect. At least not for me. It’s about intentions for me. I look past everything because I know your intentions. I know your heart. What more can I ask for? For you to kill yourself? To be what I want you to be? You are what I want you to be. Who and what you are is what I need. I went into this knowing it would be difficult.”</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>Charlie rubs her nose against his neck, breathing in his scent, enjoying the feeling of him between her legs, relaxing in the warm water. “Come on, Ackles. I know you’ve been holding out on me. But you can't be that bored yet.” He smiled at her again, loving how she always managed to add humor. “What’s wrong? … Or are you still afraid I’m still looking for the exit?” she asked with a smile back, kissing him.</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>“Is that what you want? You want us to go back to the time when I was ignorant and oblivious.”</p><p>"Sometimes."</p><p>"But I don't like that Charlie. I like this Charlie. She's not a prude anymore. She's more adventurous and has more experiences and has fun memories that she will cherish forever."</p><p>Jensen laughs and smiles, letting the smile reach his eyes. Charlie didn't say anything else. She knew what was going on in his head. She saw the wheels turning. She pressed her lips to his. Getting up from the tub, grabbing his hand, and walking them both out of the bath. When they dried off and stood beside the bed, kissing, Charlie pulled away, looking up at him. “I know we have our little video chats. And they’re oh so fun. And maybe I’ll be nice about a pre-recorded video…but… during those long nights when you’re away from me, what do you think about when you need to get off?”</p><p>"You."</p><p>She smiled, pushing him into the bed. He falls back onto it, pulling her with him. "Gonna need a little more than that, Cackles.”</p><p>He gave her a smile. “You and me.”</p><p>She pushed him farther back. “More.” Charlie moves, straddling his hips and hovering her lips over his.</p><p>"You on top of me. Your throat around my cock"</p><p>“More.”</p><p>"The taste of you." He breathes.</p><p>She lands a kiss on his lips and dives her tongue into his mouth, giving him just that. “You can do better.” She said as she pulled away.</p><p>Jensen grabs her hair, pulling it and making her head fall back, exposing her neck.</p><p>“I imagine you…surrendering to me, letting me do whatever I want to you.” He kisses her neck, feeling her squeeze her thighs around him when he did.  Her breathing, picking up. “Whatever I want. However, I want. Wherever I want." He finished, landing a final kiss on her lips and squeezing her ass.</p><p>Charlie smiles at him knowingly. "Yeah, and where would that be?"</p><p>He began to rub his hands up and down her back, stopping at her ass cheeks and squeezing them firmly.</p><p>“Hmmm. Don’t make me say it.” He said, biting his lip. “Saying it will make me want it.”</p><p>“You mean fucking my ass, Jen?” She said, grinding into him.</p><p>"Fuck." He groaned, throwing his head onto her shoulder, gripping her hips, holding her in place. “Fuck yes.”</p><p>She laughed at the look in his eyes. “You can have anything of me you want Jensen.” Moving closer to his ear, whispering, “No one has ever fucked me in the ass. It would be just you.”</p><p>“Oh, god.” She smiles at him, giving him a kiss. Jensen keeps her face to his, turning them over to lay on the bed before pulling away. “You sure? I wasn’t even-”</p><p>“Yes.”<br/>“Hold that thought.”</p><p>Charlie giggles as he disappeared into his closet. Her mission here was to do whatever he wanted, whatever he said to do, to the best of her abilities. She didn't know what to expect, but she also knew she couldn't underestimate him. And that idea terrified her and excited her at the same time.</p><p>When Jensen emerged from the closet, he had two ties in his hand. He walked over to the bed, grabbing her neck and bringing her face to his. Taking her into a kiss and diving his tongue into her mouth. He controlled the kiss. He controlled her mouth and the movement of her neck. When she moaned into it, he stopped, pulling away. He pulled her hair tie, making her hair fall around her shoulders and breasts. Moving it out of the way as he goes to kiss her neck before letting her go.</p><p>“Get on your knees, facing the headboard.” He told her. And Charlie complied.</p><p>Climbing up and waiting for him. He kneeled over to her. Taking the black tie around his neck and wrapping it around her eyes.</p><p>“Do you trust me?”</p><p>She nodded, to gone to answer.</p><p>“Use words.”<br/>“Yes.”<br/>Charlie’s senses began to heighten, and that small feeling of fear increased as she tried to listen very closely. She was trying to follow his moves through the sounds and vibrations around her. Her breathing increased as what felt like minutes went by. Jensen hadn't made a noise close to her or touched her. She just could hear faint noises from the bathroom.</p><p>Charlie bit her lip, wanting to see him, but she painfully waited and sketched the image of him perfectly from memory in her mind. When she started to feel tired of sitting in the same position with no direction, she began to move on the bed. But Jensen pulled her by her hips, pushing her in the same place and smacking her ass, causing Charlie to scream from the unexpected and sudden impact. She got back to her knees, feeling the effect of the smack and wanting more. She turned her head as she heard him moving and relaxed a bit when she finally felt him touch her. He rubbed her ass in a circle, and Charlie moved into his touch. She heard Jensen chuckle, and she whined.</p><p>“What is it, Baby?”</p><p>“I need you inside me.”</p><p>He walked over to the top of the bed, and Charlie could feel him wrapping the fabric around her wrist.</p><p>“Put your wrists together and move to the corner of the bed, where the headboard is." He said, demanding.</p><p>She felt forward for the headboard, crawling to the corner, bringing her wrists together, and holding onto the wood. Jensen tied the other wrist, securing her to the wooden base.</p><p>“Is this okay?” He asked</p><p>The sound of his voice did things to her. Not being able to feel or see him but having him literally inches apart was torture. That gap between her legs needed to be filled, now. <strong><em>Do everything he says, Charlie!</em></strong></p><p>“They’re perfect,” she answered.</p><p>Charlie heard Jensen chuckle, and the sound was music to her ears. They<em> were </em>perfect. The material was spaced and fastened enough so it wouldn't cut off circulation, slide, or dig into Charlie's skin. It was silky and expensive. No doubt intentional, so it didn't irritate. She smiled at the little gesture and how precise he was being as he restrained her.</p><p>Jensen moved to face her, bringing her lips to his. As he kissed her, Charlie already felt that little feeling of need, desperation, and frustration. She couldn’t touch him; she couldn't see him. He kissed her, but he didn't escalate it. She knew the game included keeping her at the edge, but they hadn’t even started the good stuff yet. She pulled at the tie and whimpered when she couldn’t bring his face closer to hers or feel and see his beautiful freckles close up. She loved to watch those few little ones that outline his lips. They were her favorite.</p><p>When he pulled away, her lips searched for him. She began to feel him move onto the bed. Instinctively, Charlie pushed her ass into the air, making it easy for him, needing something. Anything. Jensen smacks her again, and she takes the hit, balling her fists and loving that little tingle it gives her. Making it a point not to flinch, she wanted to control the pain. Moving her body back, craving more. He brings his hand down hard and Charlie involuntarily cries then whimpers. Jensen lands one more heavy smack on her ass cheek. This one was harder than the last.</p><p>"SHIT!" She screams when she feels the blow.</p><p> It was pain, but a good pain. Pain she kept craving, kept wanting more of. Like a tattoo. Or the feeling of your sexy boyfriend's hand repeatedly meeting your backside. Blow after blow, each landing and hitting against the perfect spot that was already throbbing for him. She loved it, and she didn't know why.</p><p>Jensen pushes his fingers through her folds, making Charlie shudder at his touch. He played with her wetness. Diving the two fingers in and making her moan deep as he worked her. Curling his fingers up to hit her g-spot. Charlie moaned uncontrollably as he pumps his fingers into her, getting wetter and wetter with each draw. She pushes her face into the mattress as she was unable to move or grab onto anything. Pulling at the fabric around her wrists. When she slid too far down, Jensen pulled her back to her knees, keeping her on all fours.</p><p>Jensen pulled out, and she groaned at the feeling of emptiness. Lifting her head back up and moaning for more. Right on cue, Jensen aligned up to her and plunged right in, and Charlie screamed with a shudder at his incursion. He worked her at a brutal pace, digging his fingers into her skin. Grabbing onto her shoulders and pulling her into him hard with every thrust as he slammed into her. It didn't take long for Charlie to reach that edge, on the verge of her orgasm, but Jensen pulled out. Leaving her blindfolded and breathless.</p><p>“Fuck,” she says to herself.</p><p>Her body was beginning to feel tight, desperate for release. Once she finally got it back to composure, Jensen slammed into her again, and she barely took in a breath before she began to moan uncontrollably. She screamed profanities as he worked into her, never slowing down or stopping. Her body was hot and sweaty. Her need to cum was strong, but she knew the moment she felt that levee about to break, he would pull out again. Needing to prolong herself as much as possible. She tried to hold it at bay. She tried to control her breathing. Locking her core and her body as he fucked her. But Jensen knew and began caressing her breasts and back, touching her sensually, knowing exactly what she needed, but he didn't want her there yet.</p><p>He felt her buck into him. Unable to control her body anymore, Charlie squeezed him tight. After yelling she was about to cum, he pulled back out again, and Charlie growled with anger beginning to squirm and kick under him.</p><p>Jensen grabbed her hips, turning her over and laying her on her back. He fell between her legs, kissing her neck and chest but never her lips. She began to grind up into him, but he wouldn't kiss her, and it dove her crazy. That fact that she couldn't see him from the blindfold, adding to what she was physically feeling, Charlie began to whine. Jensen grabbed her neck, squeezing it just a little, shutting her up, before finally pressing his lips to hers.</p><p>As he distracted her with his mouth, Jensen positioned himself at her hole and pushed in, making Charlie pull away from his lips and moan loud at how deep he hit. He held onto her neck with both hands, gripping it to help meet his strokes, squeezing just enough. She threw her head back, pacing herself, breathing in and out, and trying to focus on not cumming. She bit her lip, holding in her moans, and began to pull at the fabric around her wrists frantically.</p><p>Just like every time before, Jensen pulled out again, making Charlie burst into a fit. She was so wound up, and her body was so tight she couldn’t handle it anymore. Jensen muffled her sounds with his mouth and moved to slide himself up and down her folds, gathering all her juices. Startling Charlie when he began to push his head into her other whole.</p><p>"Ahh!" she screamed, letting him go, bracing herself.</p><p>Jensen works his head around it, pushing in slowly. Charlie's hands ball into fists, feeling him stretching her. "Oh god. Oh god.” She curls into him as Jensen keeps slowly pushing. Biting hard onto his shoulder.</p><p>"Fuck! This would be one of the very few times I wished you were smaller. Oh, god. Jensen," she moans. He catches her lips passionately kissing her. "Please, Jen. I need to see you, please. Please. Please let me see you."</p><p>Jensen removed the tie from her eyes, and the first thing she sees is his beautiful greens looking back at her with admiration and excitement. Finally seeing him hovering over her, naked, sweaty, and panting heavily. She looked down and watched him slowly push into her, then looked back at him, biting her lip, and just nodded, saying yes. He moved away for a second, grabbing two pillows and placing them under her hips for support.</p><p>When he began to push in, she whimpers, feeling a sensation she couldn’t have prepared for. Jensen spits on his fingers, improvising a lubricant, and Charlie bites her lip as she looks down at him as he slowly pushed into her. Ignoring her noises as she squeezes her thighs around him. He repeated the process, working farther in, slowly.</p><p>When he finally got all the way in, he stayed there, letting her adjust. Leaving sweet, wet, hot kisses on her neck. Whispering sweet nothings to calm her.</p><p>Charlie kept her eyes closed, listening to him, his hot, heavy breath against her neck, his voice, and his warm skin gliding against hers. Willing her body to slow, breathing through it.</p><p>Jensen kisses her, pressing his body closer to hers. He removed the tie from her wrists, and her arms fall limp to the bed. He grabs her wrists one by one, kissing them and her fingers, then her lips.</p><p>“Jensen. It’s okay. I’m okay.” She nodded, telling him to keep going.</p><p>He begins to move slowly, and Charlie feels <em>all of it.</em> She pressed her hands to his chest, helping guide his speed as he took his time pulling out.</p><p>"Holy Shit. Oh fuck. FUCK!" She yelled as Jensen moves in again.</p><p>He begins to feel her tense up around his dick and groans as she squeezes him. "Try to relax, Charlie. It'll hurt more if you don't relax."</p><p>"Really? You ever have a dick inside your ass!?” She spits then winces as he moves again. “Oh, Fuck.”</p><p>"No, but I can feel you gripping the shit out of me."</p><p>"I'm sorry." She moans.</p><p>He lets out a husky chuckle. "You're fucking amazing. You don't need to be sorry. I never want to leave this moment."</p><p>Jensen's words relax her a bit, making him shift into a slow rhythm, not going in too deep, letting her get used to the feeling. She could tell it felt good for him, as he was shaking, trying to compose himself over her, wanting more but not wanting to go too hard.</p><p>Charlie was moaning with every thrust and lifting her chest off the bed as he begins to hit parts she didn’t even know existed. Eventually, her body adjusted to him. The strokes became smoother as she began to loosen up. Once she learned to relax through it, it began to feel good. Once it started to feel good, she experienced a level of pleasure so incredible. Jensen, hitting a spot that made her body react in ways she didn't know it could. Her body was wound so tight she no longer had any form of control over it as she was worked to an intense full body orgasm.</p><p>Jensen slowly picked up his pace. Her arms thrashed, and her legs tried to push him away. His strokes were electric volts. Sending her body into a spiral of sensations, emotions, and feelings. Her orgasm crept into every fiber of her being, and her toes curled from how good it felt. There was no holding back. She was cumming harder than she ever had in her life.</p><p>Charlie grabbed onto his wrists as he rested his hands on each side of her head. Using all her strength to hold herself there against him as he began to move harder into her. She began to tremble under him, unable to keep her thighs open, squeezing him, but Jensen worked against her. Instead, he pushed them back open and continued his strokes. Her back arched off the bed, allowing him to go deeper as she screamed. Pressing her hands against the wooden frame, holding herself in place, and writhing under him.</p><p>Jensen pressed his face against her skin. His strokes, becoming sporadic as she felt him getting to his end. But Charlie was overwhelmed. Every single emotion she had been feeling, suppressing, harboring, all the stress and tension she was holding, all the drama of the day mixed with the feeling of him cautiously but deliberately moving in and out of her. Charlie didn't just cum, releasing her orgasm. She released every single thing her body sheltered. Everything, all at once, just rushing through her as she reaches her rapture. </p><p>Charlie began to cry. Her emotions, just flowing out, and she sobs uncontrollably under him.</p><p>Jensen stopped, looking at her, worried. "Charlie?"</p><p>"Oh, my God. No! Don't stop! Please don't ever fucking stop!”</p><p>She moves up into him, needing him to keep going. As much as her body moved away from the repeated and intense gratification, she never actually wanted it to stop. Jensen continued his thrusts, moving his hand to her neck, squeezing it a-bit and adding to the intensity of her orgasm. Her breasts, bouncing up and down with each thrust. Her ass gripping him tighter than he could handle, only able to pump into her a few more times.</p><p>Charlie’s orgasm kept coming, getting wave after wave as Jensen stayed inside her. She pushed her chest against him, fighting him, as she worked through her release, but Jensen pinned her down and made her ride it out, pressing his lips to hers, muffling her screams. Moaning into her mouth as he finally begins to cum.</p><p>Charlie's legs and arms slowly go limp at her sides, and her eyes roll in the back of her head as she finally reached her summit and began to come down from her intense orgasm. Her body no longer rigid, now feeling like jelly. Feeling completely spent and exhausted.</p><p>Jensen pulled out in time to cum all over her stomach as she heavily pants below him. He slides down to her pussy, licking and cleaning every ounce of her juices. Moving up and down, making sure he got it all.</p><p>Charlie weakly moans as he eats her. Laying weak on the bed, trying to compose herself. “Ouch,” she finally lets out after Jensen rolls off of her. Still breathless. “That-that was unbelievable.”</p><p>Jensen looks at her and smiles with a variety of emotions he couldn’t put to words except “You’re fucking unbelievable.”</p><p>He watched Charlie as she laid limp. Beautiful from the afterglow of just being fucked to the point of emotional and physical catharsis. “And beautiful. And amazing. And…” he looked at her, lost in her eyes for a second.</p><p>Charlie looked back, waiting for a response. “And?”</p><p>He pulled her body to him, wrapping her in his arms. Knowing in minutes, maybe even seconds, she’d be passed out.</p><p>“-so fucking happy I met you.”</p><p>“So much for the bath.” Charlie muttered half asleep, against his chest. Her eyes fluttering to stay open. “I’m so not getting back up,” was the last thing she said before her eyes closed, and she began to fade into a very deep sleep.</p><p>Jensen chuckles a bit, looking down at her. “Goodnight, Charlie,” he said, knowing she was probably already out. Pulling her close to his body, knowing in the morning he would be gone, and she would be asleep. When he felt her head fall back a bit on his arm, he watched her sleep for a few minutes. Eventually turning her over to her stomach on the bed, knowing that’s how she liked to sleep. He got up, cleaning her off and covering her up, before going off to pack for the morning.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Riding With The King</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Early the next morning, Jensen woke to catch his plane to Texas. Charlie was still asleep. No doubt completely spent from the night before. He kissed her on the shoulder as he was getting ready to head out. Giving her a little tap on the butt to see if she'd wake or stir, but she was out cold. He chuckled at how she was laid out on the bed. Hugging up against his pillow. Spaced out and laying on her stomach. The comforter covering most of her naked body. Charlie's legs were sticking out of the bottom of the sheets, and her mouth was open as her face rested against the pillow. All Jensen could do was count the minutes till he could be with her again.</p><p>Charlie woke pretty late in the day, much later than she intended. She sat up looking around and calling for Jensen. But she saw the sun was out and beaming, and that meant he was gone. She felt sad waking alone, but she knew Jensen was supposed to leave early for Texas. Thinking back to the night before, she began to remember details as she assessed herself. Then Charlie remembered that last night she…<em><strong>OH, GOD.</strong></em></p><p>As she moved to get out of bed, she lost her balance, almost falling. <em><strong>Jesus.</strong></em><br/>Her legs and muscles felt… loose. And even though she got to her feet and walked fine, it was like her center of gravity was off and she had to reconfigure herself. <em><strong>Jesus Christ, Jensen. What did you do to me?</strong></em> She felt like she just slept a week. Her body even felt almost a little lighter. Her muscles felt relaxed, but she was also sore. Very sore. Her wrists were mildly tender, but her ass was another story.</p><p>First thing she did was have a hot shower. Washing everything and taking a mental restart under the hot water, then getting dressed to start her day. She found her phone on the nightstand and went through her notifications. Eventually getting around to Jensen’s missed calls from hours ago. She called him back.</p><p>He answered with a laugh, “I would say good morning, but it’s past noon. So, good afternoon, Gorgeous.”</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>He laughs some more. “Did you just want up?”</p><p>"Nooo," she said, trying to play it off.</p><p>Jensen just kept laughing. “So, yes. Did you enjoy yourself last night?”</p><p>She bit her lip. Focusing on the slight tenderness of her ass as she <em>laid</em> across his bed, remembering last night. “Yes,” was all she could say back. Feeling her cheeks heat up as she blushed, even though he couldn’t see her.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>"Good."</p><p>"Just good? Come on, tell me."</p><p>She sighed and reluctantly admitted. “Fine. I’m …sore.” <em><strong>And a little embarrassed.</strong></em></p><p>"Yeah…next time, I'll try to be prepared."</p><p>"Jeez. Already talking about a next time. Did that not hold you over?"</p><p>He chuckled. "I just mean, probably should have like… prepared or something. Kinda improvised last night. Heat of the moment kinda thing." Charlie didn't say anything back. "Charlie?"</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay? Do we need to talk about it?"</p><p>"About what?" she asked, hoping he didn't bring it up.</p><p>“You... you know…crying.”</p><p>"Nope. Doesn't ring a bell."</p><p>“It’s not something to be ashamed of.”</p><p>"Ugh, can we not. I hate having these conversations over the phone."</p><p>"I'm just saying."</p><p>Charlie could hear the smile on his face. “Oh, stop pretending like it doesn’t stroke your ego. You made me cum so hard I literally fucking cried. How exactly do I not feel slightly embarrassed? Oh, my god, you better not ever in your life tell Misha!”</p><p>"Stop pretending like you don't want it again."</p><p>"I do. God. I really, really do. What have you done?"</p><p>"Showed you a whole ‘nother world."</p><p>"What else are you hiding inside that perverse little brain of yours."</p><p>"Probably the same amount you got hidin' up in yours. I just act on my shit. Kinda. I see past that sweet little shell you show to the world. And when you let yourself touch into that dormant little part, you let go… hint the out-of-body experience you had last night. But even under the right circumstances, when you choose to, you can be very... cunning."</p><p>"Whatever you say, hotshot."</p><p>“You gonna face time me later?”</p><p>"Maybe. If I'm feeling nice. Or maybe I'll just settle for playing with myself on the bed, holding your pillow thinking about you. Send you a little sneak peek, knowing the next time you walk into the room, you're going to think about it, and I'm not going to be there."</p><p>Jensen was silent for a second. "See. Cunning.”</p><p>"I learned from the best."</p><p>Sunday night, Charlie headed to Seattle, finishing her last two days at MAP. They threw her a goodbye party, and she cried a little, feeling bittersweet about leaving. On that final day, she cleared what she could from her office before finally being done. Then had a celebratory girls dinner with Celeste. They went over her meet and greet with Misha, and Charlie paid for the tab. She treated her to breakfast again in the morning before heading off and handling a few loose ends in the area before she left Washington.</p><p>Wednesday night, Charlie headed back to Vancouver to stay with Jensen till the weekend. Joining them at the up-coming Toronto Convention. Misha asked her to go. He wanted her to get a feel for the atmosphere and culture that is experienced at the conventions, since she was going to be joining Random Acts. She wanted to be more immersive this time around, if she could. Jensen wanted her there because he just wanted her there.</p><p>She walked through the gates like any other time she traveled there. The process becoming routine. Except for this time, the paparazzi found her while she was waiting for a cab. Jensen insisted on an escort, but Charlie insisted on taking a cab. She didn't like being catered to.</p><p>As she stood on the side of the street, checking her phone after it being off for two hours, someone called her name.</p><p>“Charlie Maeson?”<br/>For a normal person not dating a celebrity, that wouldn't be such a big deal. But Charlie kept forgetting to a certain extent, who Jensen was, and how far his fame went. To her, he was just Jensen.</p><p>Once her name was called, Charlie instinctively turned toward the direction it came from, unintentionally confirming who she was. Within seconds, men with cameras started running towards her. She could hear camera clicks, flashes all around, and people started staring. She panicked, running back inside the airport, calling a cab, and waiting for it. When she was inside, she stayed in the chair, her back to the glass wall, where she could feel them standing waiting for her to do something.</p><p>When Charlie got notification her cab was outside, she threw her shades on and quickly headed out, hiding behind her hair, throwing her luggage in the trunk, and jumping into the car. Finally feeling relieved when she was alone.</p><p>Luckily when she got to Jensen's place, he was home from set. Charlie relaxed. She was back in his naughty, calming, and loving embrace. Telling him what happened and getting a stern earful about security. Charlie agreed to a car pick-up when she traveled and the occasional shadow buddy depending on the circumstances. Luckily, she was able to get him to agree to no ‘buddy’ at the convention. It would just give her extra attention and she wanted to be able to come and go. But she wasn’t allowed to leave the building, which annoyed her, but she understood. Jensen also agreed, no one was going to go searching for her in Arizona. Since she would be heading there after the convention. Getting some things settled before her mother's wedding, her interview with Random, and her eventual but unscheduled meeting with Danneel or call with Vicky. Both of which she was procrastinating.</p><p>While visiting, Charlie spent a day on set with everyone. Another doing some self-care with a spa day and therapy shopping. She figured she never splurged. Ever. The rest of the time at his apartment waiting for him to get home. Jensen made love to her in the morning before he left for work knowing she didn’t have work or responsibility after he walked out his apartment doors. Letting her live out her sexual dream vacation, free of stress, work, family, or obligation. Only him, telling her to be naked and bent over the bed, waiting for him when he got home. Then coming home those couple days, pushing Charlie to her limits at certain times, then being a sweet passionate lover other times, driving her insane.</p><p>Charlie never going into their relationship even remotely thinking this would be the sex she and Jensen would be having, or that she would even be participating in it. But truly enjoying every aspect of it. Even the tearfully amazing feeling ones.</p><p>After, they would spend the rest of their time going out to dinner or staying in and cooking. Cuddling on the couch with TV or a movie. relaxing together before getting ready for the next day.</p><p>Friday night they all traveled to Toronto. The following day Jensen was doing work-related things with Jared that went over her head, so she checked out the different areas of the convention, exploring more this time, and even tried to sit through Misha's midday panel. She ignored the eyes in the beginning as she surveyed. But when she sat in the back of the panel for about ten minutes, she kept seeing eyes looking at her. <em><strong>Nope, tried it.</strong></em>She ran back to the green room. Staying in the safety of familiar faces for the rest of the day. Feeling great to be around people so genuine and fun.</p><p>Saturday night was 'Saturday Night Special' where apparently the cast gets together to sing. Jensen joins in the performances making Charlie eager to watch. They were supposed to make it a night out as a group, so Charlie took a nap while Jensen did his thing. He called her as he was on his way back up.</p><p>When he got to the room, Charlie was bent over in front of the mirror putting on mascara.</p><p>“I swear you do this stuff intentionally.”</p><p>Charlies straightened herself up and looked at him as he walks over to her, then over at the bed, wondering what he was talking about. “Do what?”</p><p>Jensen walked up behind her, sliding his hands down her hips and ass as he tucked his face into her neck, kissing it. “Seduce me.”</p><p>She lets out a small chuckle. “I didn’t even do anything. It’s not my fault you don’t have control over that thing.”</p><p>Jensen stood behind Charlie, pushing into her backside. “You’re the one wearing tight as jeans and whatever the fuck this is,” he says against her skin, lightly grabbing at the fabric around her breasts.</p><p>Charlie looks in the mirror at the red silk top she was wearing. "It's a corset.”</p><p>"Do I have final say on the outfit?"</p><p>She smiled at him in the reflection. Jensen, looking back at her. "No."</p><p>“I don’t want people looking at you.”</p><p>She chuckled lightly, pulling out of his embrace. She grabbed her brush and began to pull through her locks, ignoring him.</p><p>Jensen turns her around, taking her mouth to his, and pushing her into the dresser. He bites at her lower lip and pushes his body into her more, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, gripping her ass. Charlie tries to object. She pushed him away, but he held her, and she melted under him, letting her arms fall to her side. Jensen doesn't let her go for a minute. Trying to convey how he was feeling through his kiss. Eventually pulling away, leaving Charlie breathless and wanting more.</p><p>"Whatever you say, Jensen. Yes. Yes. Yes."</p><p>“Change your shirt.”</p><p>She pouted. "But it's so cute. I have a jacket. It goes with the ja-“</p><p>He kisses her again, stopping her from finishing her sentence.  He lifted Charlie, making her wrap her legs around his waist as he brought them over to the bed. He laid her down gently, finding his place comfortably between her legs, kissing her neck. He grabs her hands, moving them over her head, pinning them down.</p><p> "So, what? You get to have people gawking at you, but I can’t feel sexy for a night to go have fun with my ladies?” Charlie asked.</p><p>"Oh, so this little outfit is to what? Get attention."</p><p>"No, silly. It's to drive my horn-ball of a boyfriend crazy. I have one card over you, and I'm gonna play it." She said, giving him a light peck on his lips. Feeling ballsy, she squeezes her legs around him, wrapping her arms around his neck, limiting his control now and rolling them over. She straddles him, grinding onto his forming erection, leaving kisses as she goes. Taking his hands and pinning them to his side.</p><p>He laughs at her attempt at control, finding it adorable and sexy. She could feel him laughing at her and looks up at him through her lashes as she kisses his body. Charlie moved his undershirt with her teeth. Sucking on his stomach, licking all the way down to his happy trail just under his underwear line. Knowing damn well what it would do to him.</p><p>Jensen lets out a deep moan, and she smiles to herself. "You remember the last time you underestimated me?" she asked, hovering her lips against his skin.</p><p>He moaned again at the memory, throwing his head back on the bed. Charlie, feeling his erection against her chest, still very confined to his jeans, smile to herself, triumphant.</p><p>Jensen tries to move his arms, but Charlie holds them down. "When do you have to be downstairs?"</p><p>"Soon," he said with bated breath.</p><p>She moves on him, grinding as she kissed his neck. She was tempted to leave a mark, but the circumstances would not be the same. She couldn't tamper with his beautifully delicious packaging.</p><p>Charlie moved her lips to his mouth, giving him a sweet kiss before she moves to get off of him. "We shouldn't keep them waiting."</p><p>Jensen grabbed her hips before she could get off the bed, pushing her down on him and looking up at her questionably. "Charlie,” he said through clenched seething teeth.</p><p>She bit her lip, trying not to laugh, and moved down to peck his lips again.  "Yes, babe?" Jensen tries to pull her back to his lips. "You know they say patience… is a virtue," she said, kissing him one last time.</p><p>He looks annoyed, and Charlie touched his lips with her thumb. "You're adorable when your upset."</p><p>She moves to step off the bed, but Jensen grabs her hand.</p><p>"Really?" He asked strongly. </p><p>"We should go."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, scowling. "You really gonna give me blue balls?"</p><p>"You literally do it to me all the time.”</p><p>He narrowed his eyes at her. "That’s different," he said, sitting up from the bed and adjusting himself in his pants.</p><p>"Is it, though? Delayed gratification, boo."</p><p>Charlie had to admit, it was also a bitchy little powerplay. She spent the past three days being his personal fuck doll. She enjoyed it and still very much wanted it. But she needed to feel some form of control every once in a while.</p><p>Jensen stands up, wrapping his arms around her. Bringing his lips to her neck, taking in the smell of her hair. "Is that how this is going to be?"</p><p>Charlie bites her lip with a wicked smile, shrugging.</p><p>He looks at her for a second, trying to find the words, catching a glimpse of her necklace as he looked her over. "What is it exactly I can do for you, Calliope?"</p><p>Charlie's face fell as the sound of her name left his mouth. This being the second time he’s used it, against her no less, throwing her off both times.</p><p>She swallowed hard and immediately had to hide the effect it had on her. <em><strong>You dick.</strong></em></p><p>She narrowed her eyes at him. Jensen smirked back at her.</p><p>"Touché…" She said, slowly backing away from him.</p><p>Charlie pulled out of his embrace and walked over to the mirror on the dresser, fixing herself. Grabbing her jacket to finish her outfit, covering up to Jensen’s preference.</p><p>"I'm starving. Can we head downstairs?" She said as she turns around to find him resting against the wall near the door, watching her with his arms across his chest. Jensen looked handsome with his stubble growing on his face adding to the effects of the designer button-up he was wearing. She had to admit, she regretted her decision to resist. Even standing where she was.</p><p>"Stop it," she said, walking over to the chair and grabbing her purse.</p><p>"Stop what?"</p><p>"Stop looking at me like you're imagining dirty things."</p><p>Jensen bit his lip, trying to hold back a laugh. "Just waiting for my gorgeous girlfriend."</p><p>She walked past him to the door, grabbing the nob and opening it.</p><p>Jensen grabs the door and her before she could walk out. "Hey," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist hugging her to him. "Before it gets a little crazy down there, and I'm not going to be with you all night. Thank you for coming." He presses a kiss on her lips and lets her go. "I know this is a lot for you. I know all of this is a lot for you, and you're doing it for me… it means a lot." He ends with a slight shrug.</p><p>She smiled at his sincerity, bringing her hand to his cheek, lightly grazing his cheekbone and scruffy stubble. Jensen closes his eyes and leans into her touch.</p><p>These were his tender sweet moments that she loved so much. "I meant it, you know."</p><p>He opened his eyes to look at her in confusion. "What?"</p><p>"I would drop everything for you."</p><p>Charlie smiles mildly, feeling a little over-exposed. She wanted to go on to say how much that scared her and why. But refrained because he didn't need to hear that right now. She never wanted to make him unhappy. She realized at that moment, he had a hold on her, to the depths of her soul. She couldn't bear the idea of ever making him unhappy. This beautiful creature wanted her. How could she not give him the world?</p><p>Charlie takes his hand, bringing it to her lips. The two share a look, a silent poignant, and telling look. Then they head off, leaving the hotel room. Never feeling a need to say in words, what they both knew the other was thinking.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. The Lemon Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I should have quit you a long time ago<br/>Ooh-whoa, yeah, yeah, long time ago...<br/>I should have listened, baby, a-to my second mind<br/>Oh, I should have listened, baby, to my second mind”<br/>The Lemon Song- Led Zeppelin</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luckily the convention’s venue was connected to the hotel. All Charlie and Jensen had to do was go downstairs and walk across a bridge. After they got off the elevator, they met Cliff and kept their distance, just in case someone spotted them before they got to the green room. They sat through the second half of Misha’s Saturday panel and then headed upstairs to the rooftop restaurant for a group dinner before the show later.</p><p>Everyone met upstairs, being seated in a private area, all the way in the back. Allowing seating for all fourteen of them. Charlie sat on the opposite end of the table that Jensen was on. She wanted to sit with Briana, Lisa, Ruth, and Olivia. Feeling the need to be around some girls. Having Misha sit himself right next to her and Rob, while Charlie had Briana on her other side. The two girls talking amongst themselves ever so often. Briana getting more personal and Charlie doing a bit of the same. Briana telling her about her beautiful daughter and loving husband. They recently bought a house in British Colombia and were working for another baby. All while she auditions, sings, writes, and collaborates with others. Charlie began to feel more comfortable around her. The two even made plans for the next time Charlie returns to Vancouver.  </p><p>As the night went on, Charlie kept drinking. Laughing around with Misha and Briana. Pushing into each other as they join in on whatever conversation the little group was having. Jensen would ever so often look over at them and Charlie ever so often would notice. He knew it was friendly. He also knew the topic of flirting with Misha always sat in the back of Charlie’s head, so she kept her distance to an extent. Keeping her legs crossed in Briana’s direction, talking to Briana as well.</p><p>Charlie and Jensen hated being away from each other, but both agreed to keep what they had under the radar as best they could until they were ready to make it official. They also knew making it official would bring more attention. So while out, they kept up with their occasional shared glances. Lightly communicating with eyes and smiles. Knowing there might be people or cameras watching and they would be together later.</p><p>In the meantime, Charlie was trying to have a makeshift vacation. Having just left her job, her home, and her best friend slash roommate behind, she was starting over, and in the process, she was trying to enjoy her short freedom from obligations.</p><p>After dinner, the group headed back downstairs for the 'Saturday Night Special.' Everyone hanging around, acting like fools between acts. Jensen tried to persuade Charlie to perform, sing, or something, but she was absolute on a no. Even after the others tried to get her to do it as well. Eventually agreeing on a one-day, just not right now.</p><p>When Jensen went on stage with Louden Swain, Briana, Rich, Lisa, and others, Charlie hung back with Misha and Jared behind the scenes watching. Enjoying herself and just being completely amazed. She knew Jensen played music. She knew he was writing an album, and that album was going to be released soon, but he made it seem like a random little project he was getting off the ground with his buddy. Charlie wanted to ask him to play so many times, and she would eventually. But she also, knew if she asked him, he would ask <em>her to play as well</em>, and she didn't know how to tap into that part of herself anymore. And if so, not yet. There were a few times she was tempted to look him up on YouTube or social media because she knew she could. It would have been so easy, but eventually thanking herself for the decision not to.</p><p>In the end, she settled with being delightfully surprised. Having never seen Jensen perform, she was enthralled in him. When he took the stage, singing with Rob and Briana, Charlie was not expecting the vocals. She didn't know what to expect. If anything, Charlie expected more of a Tim McGraw-y type voice. Except having more of a Chris Stapleton-y, in his own little Jensen way, and she loved it. His voice, adding to the ever-present sexual need growing inside her, <em>needing that mouth on her.</em></p><p>She stood off at the side stage watching him for the first time, and when he got off stage for a break, she ran to him. Not at all giving a shit if someone saw her act a fool and making Jensen smile. She was beaming with excitement, telling him how awesome he was and hearing more about his musical endeavors and musical past. Collaborating with Steve over the years, even before he thought about writing or producing music with his name on it. A time before marriage and parenthood. It was something he loved to throw himself into. Something that allowed him to escape his mind for a bit and Charlie understood that all too well.</p><p>Jensen eventually went back on-stage. Charlie watched some more, amazed, in awe, proud, happy, giddy, <em>everything.</em> While he was on-stage, Charlie sat around with Jared. Finally, getting her alone time with her favorite Winchester. The two, just talking about random things as they were equally getting buzzed. Misha off on the other side of the room as he goes into a big story with Olivia and Ruth about something that happened on set the other day. Charlie and Jared took time to discuss the final details of his campaign. Jared also thanked Charlie for all her help.</p><p>"I heard you finally left MAP. How yuh feelin’?" Jared asked, as Charlie went to take a drag of her very-strong alcoholic drink.</p><p>"Yeah. Finally finished…”</p><p>"And onto Random Acts?"</p><p>“Yeah. Still a little on edge about it. Especially the whole, mixing business with personal, but I’m excited to work with everyone there. Help on a different level. Everything happens for a reason, right?" Charlie said, looking at him with a shrug.</p><p>"You'll be fine. If you handled that place the way you handle the festivals and helping Misha plan, you'll be fine. Genn's pretty excited to meet you if it makes you feel better. She’s super curious who’s got Ackles all weak at the knees, and Misha all excited about the future."</p><p>Charlie chuckled a bit. “Thank you. Definitely excited to meet her. To work with her too.” She smiled. " It's also just so new, still wrapping my head around it<em>, all of it.</em> I'm sure you can get the whole, leaving something you're so comfortable doing. A job and way of life for fifteen years. Mine is seven going on eight years, but still." She laughs. <strong><em>Also, nervous I will be working with my boyfriend’s ex-wife and her best friend. </em></strong></p><p>"No, yeah. It can be daunting," Jared says. "Life after the show is what we have to work towards now. For a while, it was a big question mark."</p><p>"Yeah, heard about your new fancy-schmancy gig. So, your leavin’ your ole gang behind Mr. Cordell?” Charlie said in her attempt at a southern impression.</p><p>Jared laughs and shakes his head. “Yeah, that was something that’s been in the works.”</p><p>“It’s so great, Jared!” She bumps him. “I don’t watch a lot of tv shows, more of a movie person. It's a problem, I know." Jared laughs. "But I habitually watched Texas Ranger when I was a kid. I’m a little excited for that reboot. Now all they need to do is reboot Zena Warrior Princess, and I’m golden.”</p><p>Jared laughs. "Thank you. I’ll pitch Zena next time. This one's a little different this time around though. I'll be taking on a producer's hat. We're still working out the kinks, but luckily, the show is supposed to be filmed in Austin. So, no more of this inter-continental travel. I can have my workday and just drive home to my wife. Our daughter is being born soon. I can help Gen a little better this time around. But still, nervous. It’ll all be different. New.”</p><p>"I’m happy for you, dude.” She gives him a tender smile. “I know I haven’t been around for a lot. I also know you've been ridin' yourself thin. Was kinda worried there for a second, but now I get why." She chuckles. "And it's so great. I’m sure you’ll do awesome. With your first daughter and with the show. You have a lot of people to keep you grounded. It's new but new is always good. Right?"</p><p>"Definitely." He nods, looking at Charlie as she goes to take another swing of her drink. "Speaking of new," Jared says, smiling. Charlie looks at him with a grin. "You and Jensen."</p><p>She nods, smiling nervously now. "Is this the GF and BFF are finally alone, don't break his heart, talk?" She said with a chuckle.</p><p>Jared laughs. "Nah." He shakes his head. "Jensen's got a decent head on his shoulders. Kinda admire and respect him for it. Don't get me wrong, I worry about him. It wasn’t easy for him after everything happened with Danneel. The whole, not seeing Justice thing was rough. It was touch and go. If he sees something in you, who am I to argue. And I think we've come to know you enough to know you would never do anything like that." Jared said, looking at her.</p><p>"But?"</p><p>He shrugs and looks over at Misha. "Honestly… I don’t know. He's different with you. I don't know what that means to you, but… he's different with you. I also remember the Charlie I met in August, which leads me to believe you're a little bit different with him too. But you're not the part that I worry about."</p><p>"What do you worry about?"</p><p>"What he's not saying. What he's not talking about. I don't know. Maybe you can get it out of him. Maybe you do. Someone has to." Charlie looks over at the screen, watching the singers sing and Jensen have a good time on stage. She looked over at Misha as he sat with Olivia and a few others discussing amongst themselves.</p><p>"I try not to pry.” Charlie began. “Can't imagine how he feels. I try to be supportive. I mean, I think I am. I let him know he can talk about her.” She looks back at him. “I’m not one of those crazy jealous women who feel the need to pretend like I’m his world and everything before me doesn’t exist anymore. That’s kinda why, as awkward as it is, I felt the need to meet Danneel. This is definitely all new to me. As I know, it is new and completely against the grain for him…. But he doesn't talk to me either. Not about her, not really. He told me about everything… like <em>everything</em>, everything.” Jared laughs.</p><p>“Yeah, took me a while to wrap my head around it all.”</p><p>"Tell me about it… but he told me because he had to. Other than that, he drops tidbits here and there. Only in the context or subject of talking about JJ, family, work, or whatever else. I think he kinda channels it elsewh-" Charlie stops, looking at Jared. He smiles and lets out a laugh, knowing where the rest of that sentence was going.</p><p>"It's okay. This is a safe space. Don't hold back on my regard," Jared says.</p><p>"Oh, hush." She rolls her eyes with a smile, her cheeks for sure turning red.</p><p>He laughs again. "I get you, though. I guess I was kind of afraid of that."</p><p>"I don't help in that regard…so, I will take the blame on that. We’re both… avoidant." She smiles woefully.</p><p>"No. You’re fine. I wouldn’t say you’re doing too bad. From what Jensen tells me, you're pretty understanding of a lot of things. Not a lot of women can deal with his lifestyle. It’s a lot. He doesn’t talk about Danneel. But he talks about you.” Charlie looked at him, feeling a small sense of excitement and pride, but also fear. <strong><em>What does he tell him? </em></strong>“Good things, Charlie. I promise. Which I can appreciate. He's been better since meeting you. He has. This isn’t some ploy for you to change whatever you guys have going on. Keep doing whatever it is you two do. But I’m always gonna worry about him. And I think you do too.”</p><p>"I do."</p><p>"He may be … <em>channeling</em>. But I think he's working through it, in his own way. You know?" He finished and looked at the screen seeing Jensen and the others.</p><p>"Guess I should reach out to you guys about him more.”</p><p>"No. You two will find your place. You can always call. Even if, just to ease my worry.” He laughs. “But I can’t tell you about Jensen. You have to learn him for yourself. He’s a rational dude. Very disciplined in his way. But he does everything through his heart. That hard little exterior he shows to the world… it’s only half of who he is. And a lot of it is a front.”</p><p>Charlie nodded with a smile as Jared only confirmed everything she already knew about Jensen. She sat, thinking about him and his soft, loving, and silly side, but also his controlling, kinky, gruffy side.</p><p>“Can I be honest? I don't want to upset you." Jared asked, and Charlie nodded. "He was in a relationship… a close friendship with someone for 13 years. Married for 10. They have a kid." Charlie couldn't help but feel a small twinge of guilt and regret. Maybe even a little bit of jealousy. "And what happened between them, that's for them to know, but he never handled it. Not really. He won't talk about her. I know what happened. Everything. I get it. But, emotionally, that's not easy."</p><p>Charlie understood what he was saying, where he was coming from. "He needs to find closure," she interjects, nodding in acknowledgment of what he said.</p><p>"Yes! Thank you. He doesn't see it. When it comes to her, it's like he built this wall. Then you came along, and he's Jensen again. I'm friends with Danneel, and JJ is like a niece to me. I can't just think about him as a friend. I have to think about his daughter too. When it happened…in the beginning, he was angry, hurt. Furious even. When he came back to Austin after taking JJ, and he and Dee got into a huge blowout… it became very real for me. After that, he immediately just went into autopilot. Just day by day. Never letting on. I get that he needed his time to adjust and let go or move on. And now … they're getting better. They’re talking, which is great. I even think you have a hand in that a bit.”</p><p>"I did?"</p><p>"He calmed down after you. JJ was starting school, so something had to be done, but it was very much their inability to talk to each other that fucked shit up. Do I think whatever he was feeling went away? No. I think you allowed him to handle it better or gave him the ability to face her. And in doing so, he and Danneel have been… healthier. Not great, they have their moments, which is expected, but better. And that’s a step in the right direction. For me, I'm always in a hard place because Danneel is best friends with my wife, and Jensen is, well… my best friend. We don't play sides, but they're our family. We worry, and we help the best we can. But I'm nervous he's falling for you. Actually, I know he has." Charlie looked at Jared intently, trying to see where he is going with this. "And that's awesome, Charlie. Really! It is! I don't mean… this isn't about you. I admire you, and I want nothing more than to see you guys keep going. You're makin' him happy, and that's all I can really ask for. But I'm his friend, and it's my job to worry about him and be rational. Especially if he cant. That's what he does for me.”</p><p>Charlie nodded, knowing Jared was right. “He told me. He told me you thought he should have handled things with Danneel before jumping into a relationship with me,” Charlie said and Jared’s face fell. “It’s okay. It didn’t bother me. I actually respect the truth, Jared. Whether it hurts or not. I can’t be upset if you’re right. And I actually agree with you. But it’s kinda late on that one. I don’t think either of us saw the other one coming. And I don’t think either of us can walk away now.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>"So I aim to be understanding and supportive. I don't have an opinion when it comes to all that. It's not my place. I've wedged myself in enough. I know I'm Jensen's girlfriend now, but I have to make my place all my own."</p><p>“Yeah. It’s just… to me, being forced to abruptly and not so smoothly end a very entangled relationship with someone Jensen was so close to. He's not okay. And Misha… I love him. And usually, he's mindful, but when it comes to that, he doesn't take a position because he feels he can't be impartial. When she did what she did-"</p><p>Charlie felt the weight of his words. “It affected him as well,” Charlie finished.</p><p>“It affected how he looked at her, yes. And then there came <em>you</em>, and that complicated things for Jensen <em>and</em> Misha.”</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>Jared looked at her, realizing he unintentionally let something on. Charlie squinted at him, reading his face. She knew what he meant, and she wasn’t surprised. He only just confirmed her suspicion. One that she hid in the back of her mind. She wasn't oblivious to it, Jensen and Misha, with their weird little dynamic. She knew there was something Jensen wasn't saying. Something Misha was holding back. Even when she tried to stealthily but unsuccessfully get it out of him.</p><p>She felt, after the last convention, when she got to that hotel room, with him and Jensen, talking about <em>everything</em>, it wasn’t life that annoyed him. It was the conversation he had with Jensen <em>about her</em> before she got there, and Misha didn’t like the answer. Jensen told her the truth but kept out the details, the major details. Misha was upset with him, not her. And Charlie didn’t want to know why. Not specifically, she could fill in the main points. She knew that was why he was out of character that day, a little more demanding than Charlie was used to and that’s why it bothered Charlie so much.</p><p>Jensen doesn’t say much about Misha and their sexual experiences, except that Misha is the opposite behind closed doors. That little outburst he threw at them, wasn’t just an outburst, it was a command, and the way it made Charlie feel in places she couldn’t explain, didn’t settle well. She remembered her and Jensen’s reaction, which makes her believe Jensen’s used to it… <strong><em>but used to what Dom-Misha? Oh, my fucking god. Misha is the controlling one. </em></strong></p><p>So, when she called him, just to see what he would say and he blew it off, with justifiable reasons for his little ‘outburst’, and Jensen deciding to tip toe around the matter, she decided it was a pandora's box. And she wasn’t touching it with a ten-foot pole. Not now. Maybe not ever. For the most part, Charlie allowed Jensen to have the impression she was ignorant to the little things, but she wasn’t. She just wasn’t going to let on. She couldn’t handle it. Not right now. Not with what she, they, have going on and not with what that subject could potentially do. Once it’s brought up or talked about, it’s out there and can’t be taken back. Charlie also, for a while, thought it was in her head. If she even remotely tried to touch upon the subject in a serious matter, it would be awkward in many ways.</p><p>But having Jared just confirm it, now made her feed into the little idea that she for so long kept at bay. Charlie looked over at Misha for a second, and Misha looked at her at the same time. The two shared a poignant look. Misha looked at her curiously, like he saw something in her eyes, but Charlie looked away immediately, avoiding whatever that was.</p><p>"I hope I'm not the reason they're not working it out," Charlie said to Jared, bringing herself back to the conversation.</p><p>"No! Charlie. Oh god, no. No." He put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her. "You are the best thing for him right now. Since you, they’ve actually become civil.”</p><p>"But I don't know how to make him open up more."</p><p>"I think he will. You might need to probe him a bit. But I think he will. I only worry because I can’t be there the way I need to be. That’s what you’re for." He smiled.</p><p>"Guess I also have to be around more." She said, beating herself up.</p><p>"You literally flew thousands of miles with us just to spend time with him. To submerge yourself in all this. And aren’t you going with him to Texas in a few weeks? And just resigned from a job. I know I'm not around, but I pay attention." Jared said, vividly making a point.</p><p>"Yes. That doesn't mean I don't worry about him.”</p><p>"Worry, sure. That doesn't mean you have to go the extra mile. At least not right now. You have a lot going on, Charlie. I’m sure he knows that.”</p><p>Charlie looked down at the ground, avoiding Jensen on the screen and Misha's eyes that she knew were watching. "Jared," she said, in a low tone as she heard the music stop, and Rob and Rich begin their closing remarks. She knew Jensen would be joining them soon. "You'd be honest with me, right?" He looked at her, and Charlie was looking back with a slight sorrow in her eyes. "If you thought this wasn't good. If you thought, we were…more damaging for one another."</p><p>Jared turned to her taking her hands in his. "Why would you be damaging?"</p><p>"I don't mean It like… I just-I mean, he's not the only one trying to escape their past. Or trying to just tread water. He's not the only damaged person here. But… if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Jensen I said this?" Jared nods, wondering what she could say.</p><p>Charlie looks at the tv again. They were still on stage. "Because he'll never allow me to walk away. I know he'll reason with me, and I'm too in …" she looked at him, stopping herself from saying that thought. "I grew up in a broken home with separated parents. They were bitter towards each other, bitter towards life, and lived thousands of miles apart. I don't know Justice. I haven't met her, but I find that I worry about her a lot. I don’t tell Jensen because I think it will do more damage than good. The more and more I get invested, the more and more I worry I'm the reason they'll never be okay. She’ll never be okay. I know the things I've been through have humbled me, but I would never want that for another child. That's why I try to be supportive. If he wants me in his life, who am I to say no. But… I'll do everything in my power to make sure he loves that little girl more than me, always. I don't know where we're going as a couple. I'm kind of just holding on for dear life right now. But I need you to be honest with me if you ever felt there was a moment, if there was even a chance, they can fix this and make it, for their daughters' sake. You have to tell me." Jared was about to object. "I don't mean now. Maybe even never…But I know I'm too invested to see clearly, and so is he. I’m sorry to put this on you.”</p><p>"It’s okay.”</p><p>“I don't know Danneel and Jensen like you. I know I am learning, but I know Jensen enough to know, he still loves her. I know he misses her. And I know as much as he may have his discontent, he will never disown her. He will never disrespect her even if she disrespected him. And I don’t resent him for it… I respect him and that makes it harder. I didn’t come from order; I came from chaos. I respect those who have values and put family above all. Life just isn’t black and white. I will never ask him to choose Danneel over me. To me that’s like choosing his daughter over me and I-I could never ask that. I know love makes you do crazy things. I even know he channels that with me. I accept it because I think I do the same." She regretfully admits. "At least that's how it started… But I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm hoping it's just that, residual love. So, I need you to be honest with me if that day ever comes. I need you to tell me the truth, and I need you to hold yourself to it.  Because you’re right, it's not about him or me. It can never be about us. It always needs to be Justice. I never want to be a reason it's not."</p><p>Jared looked at Charlie and couldn't help but feel a level of respect and regard for her. More than he already held. He hugged her tight, and Charlie hugged back, resting into his embrace, trying to hold back her emotions. They could hear the others begin to come back into the room. Misha, on the other side of the room, witnesses Jared and Charlie’s embrace. Watching Charlie's mood and demeanor slowly go down as she spoke with Jared. Leaving him wondering what they were talking about.</p><p>“And I know you can argue why haven’t I already, but…I-" Charlie began, but she couldn’t let the words out.</p><p>"I know." Jared lets go of Charlie. Looking her straight in the eyes. “<em>I know.”</em></p><p>Charlie wanted to cry. “What do I do? Tell me what to do.”</p><p>He smiles empathetically. "Just love him, Charlie. He’ll do nothing but love you back." Jared looks up, seeing that the rest of the gang will be here soon, including Jensen. "We’re going to finish this conversation later. This isn’t over,” he said with a little humor, trying to lighten her mood before Jensen gets back. Charlie laughs, mood lifted a bit. “But to answer you. I don't know if that day will ever come. You’re right he has his values but… what Danneel did, only Jensen can know how to feel about that. <em>If</em> it does come to that point, I promise to be honest with you. At least to the best of my abilities. But you'll have to know… It's gonna be hard to be the one to say it to you. You’re a great woman, Charlie. I know you have your demons. One survivor to another. But at the end of the day, it’s your heart that he wants, everything else…” he smiles. “Everything else since you’ve walked into his life is a bonus to him. He appreciates you more than he lets on. And I know you know that. And I know you know why.”</p><p>Her eyes watered a bit, and she didn’t know what to say to that. “I know I just dropped a burden on you. I’m sorry. It’s just…” Charlie didn’t know how to finish her sentence.</p><p>“No. You’re right. But Charlie, I don’t think that day will ever come.”</p><p>"Oh, come on, Jared. People fuck up. People make mistakes. We're all human. I know that was a huge one. But, at the end of the day, she is the mother of his daughter. A daughter he adores more than anything in this world. There is a connection there I will never even begin to understand."</p><p>Charlie saw Jensen coming, and she looked at Jared smiling then took a deep breath. She shook off the gloomy conversation and put a smile on. Turning to Jensen as he was in earshot and then back to Jared, mouthing a final 'thank you’, before Jensen sat between them.</p><p>Charlie knew she had to try to talk to Jensen about Danneel. But she just didn't know-how.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one was a doozy to write. 😬 Took me a couple days, but I did it. Hope it’s good!</p><p> </p><p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p><p> </p><p>Also, go watch some ‘WALKER'! ❤️ Give our Jared some love❗️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Do I Wanna know?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saturday morning, Charlie woke super early as Jensen slept, quiet and naked under the sheets beside her. She watched him sleep on his side, his face only inches from hers, as she thought about the night before. She tried to go back to bed, cuddling up to him. Jensen even tightening his hold around her. Charlie loved it, needing to feel his warmth. She felt for and focused on his breathing, finding peace in it.</p><p>Charlie laid in bed for some time before deciding to finally start her day. Organizing her luggage and freshening up. Eventually deciding to go for a run. Figuring it was too early in the day to get recognized, she shouldn’t need security. Hopefully, anyway. So, she threw on a casual sporty look with her running shoes and got ready to leave.</p><p>Charlie knew Jensen would wonder where she was or get upset she left the hotel without a buddy following. She felt like she needed to get away for a little. So, Charlie shared her phone location with him. Just in case he wanted or needed to know exactly where she went. Even just to give him some peace of mind. She also left a note on the pillow, so he would see it when he woke up. She smiled as she wrote it at how cliché it was. Telling Jensen, she went for an early run before the world awakes. She grabbed her phone, air pods and went out the door. Looking around and being slightly on edge about being recognized or followed.</p><p>When she got outside, the sun was still down but would be in full rise in the next half hour. It wasn't too dark, but dark enough to feel a sense of relaxation, especially being next to the water. The streets were empty with the occasional car, bus, or pedestrian, and Charlie just ran. She headed west up the main road, in front of the hotel, running along the pier. Once she got comfortable with the temperament and the darkness as it faded, she got into a good headspace. Listening to her music and clearing her head.</p><p>Charlie felt good running. Even though she got rid of some major stressors in her life and was having fairly regular sex, she felt her body, or more, her mind needed the mental release that came along with running. When the sun began to fully rise, Charlie stopped, checking her phone and seeing she ran over three miles. She rested at one of the viewpoints on the pier. Just watching the water and slowly seeing the world around her change to morning, starting a new day.</p><p>Charlie didn’t know why but she felt the need to getaway. As she sat, she thought about the last time she sat at a pier, overlooking a mass of water and witnessing the coming of a new day. At that time, she was trying to escape her numb existence. Running alone and in nature, to feel some form of peace in her life that was so dismal. Now, her life was…<em>different.</em> Almost feeling like a parallel reality. Standing along the water, thinking of everything since that last time. She began to feel like she was trying to escape something. There was an uneasiness, and she didn't know if it was because of the conversation she had with Jared or the fact that everything from that conversation regarding her relationship with Jensen was true.</p><p>After her talk with Jared last night, Charlie was a bit off for the rest of the night. And even though she never said anything or attempted to play it all off, Jensen knew. So, when they got to the hotel room after their night out, they tried to go to bed. Both exhausted but also completely restless. As they laid there, both mutually feeling a divide but not wanting to talk about it <em>yet</em>. There was a weird tension between them.</p><p>When Jensen turned to Charlie, needing to say something, Charlie did, what Charlie always does, resorting to the innate little part of her, too scared to be honest with herself, and avoided the topic with sex. When he tried to talk to her, Charlie pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him and shutting him up. But instead of Jensen giving her sex, fucking, or rough kink, like she wanted, he made love to her<em>.</em> It was slow, sensual, intimate, hot, and emotional. There were moments when Charlie flipped them over, working herself over him, wanting him to go harder and faster. For him to turn her back around and fuck her senseless and make her sore, <em>again</em>. She didn’t want to think about anything. She wanted to be out of body, out of mind. Also knowing she wouldn't be having him for weeks. <em>Weeks.</em> But Jensen didn't budge. He wanted all of her, not just her body or sex and not just a release. He wanted her mind and to be able to remember exactly how it felt to be inside her, the smell of her skin, and hair. Her sweet, soft, and deep little moans or the feeling of her warm skin and breasts pressed firmly against his chest as her legs squeeze him to her. He wanted to feel <em>everything</em>. He wanted her to feel <em>everything</em>. He needed a different kind of surrender, and he needed to be there with her.</p><p>But after last night, after <em>everything,</em> Charlie needed some time to think. She knew the circumstances of Jensen and Danneel’s relationship. For the most part, Jared was right. How could she possibly continue with Jensen, ignoring one major pillar of their relationship, his relationship or lack thereof with Danneel. Charlie was also faced with meeting Danneel soon. The conversation with Jared didn’t shake her. It didn’t shock her with new information or more insight to them that she didn't know. Just the realization that maybe they need to be more mindful. Or more, <em>she</em> had to be more mindful. If anything, she felt that she had Jared to turn to, and that felt good. She also felt like, at some point, she and Jensen needed to have a raw conversation about where they were going and where they were. <strong><em>A very serious conversation. </em></strong>Things were getting serious with them and she needed to feel like she was on solid ground if their relationship was to continue. And if she had to be honest with herself, she didn't feel that. Not really. But when she thought of the alternative…walking away… she couldn’t breathe.</p><p>The main thing that really got to her from last night’s conversation was… Misha. Jared let something slip, and even though Charlie isn’t at all surprised, she couldn’t shake it. <strong><em>Why did Jared know but not her? Or why did Jared know at all? What did Jared know? What was there to know? And why the fuck are there more secrets?</em></strong> Jensen admitted, in his own way, his involvement with Misha, Danneel, and Vicki. All of which she was fine with. Charlie honestly didn't care about his past. Only how <em>that</em> past affected her or will continue to affect her. After becoming more in tune to Jensen and Misha's relationship, Charlie had gotten small clues here and there to something not being said. At least not something on a serious note, but Charlie still suspected. But that’s all it was, suspicion.</p><p>It was the little things. Thing’s they would say or do. Nuances here and there, between them and from Misha. She wasn’t going to ever go to Jensen or Misha and ask. Just to have it discussed and or disputed. It could and would start a rift between them if she was wrong, or even if she was right. <strong><em>What would I say? Jensen, does Misha want to fuck me? Are the two of you secretly planning some sexual gang bang I’m not aware of… yeah, no. Not happening. </em></strong> </p><p>The moment Jensen told Charlie about him, Danneel, and Misha, Charlie knew, somewhere in Jensen’s creatively kinky mind, he has to think about it…<em>her with them</em>. She just didn’t know how far that thinking went. She knew, to an extent, what wasn’t being said, and she even had to admit, she felt stupid letting it be <em>… a secret</em>. <strong><em>What if that was the case? Should I feel a certain way that Jensen was keeping it from me?</em></strong> <strong><em>Or that it was a thing at all?</em></strong> Then again, maybe it wasn’t like that, and Jensen probably felt what she felt. Bringing up the subject in any way would affect things, but she also knew that idea would always play in his head. That even though he wasn’t with Danneel, those behaviors, memories, desires aren’t really something you can erase from your mind or change when you find a new partner. Even though Jensen can be the respectful gentleman that he is, she felt like eventually, the topic would come up. She hoped, when or if it did, she would be level-minded about it.</p><p>Charlie didn't want to think about that though. Not yet. She didn't know how to think about it. All she could think was no. No, because it's Misha. <strong><em>If it was someone else…Maybe? I mean, I’m not completely against it.</em></strong>  To her own surprise. She even tried putting herself in Jensen’s shoes. What would it be like to watch Maggie and Jensen fuck?<strong><em>-FUCK. </em></strong>She had to admit that shit would probably be hot. But Jensen would never do that and Charlie could never go <em>there</em> with Maggie. Charlie also could never do Misha. <strong><em>Could I?</em></strong> <strong><em>It’s Misha!</em></strong> <strong><em>And Maggie! But, then again, I wouldn’t be comfortable with anybody. Does there have to be somebody? Could be fun. Fuck. No Charlie. Don’t do down that tempting little rabbit whole.</em></strong></p><p>Not able to discern, Charlie again settled for saying nothing but decided this whole, keeping her sexual world of wonder from Maggie, couldn't fly anymore. She missed her best friend more than ever. The one time Charlie would need a girlfriend to fall on or talk to about boys, sex, and feelings, she was made to feel torn between Maggie and Jensen. Jensen never said she couldn't tell Maggie, but she never knew how. And with them clearly getting more serious, Charlie needed to tell Maggie so much, and most of all she needed <em>her</em> support or opinion. She said nothing to her about the depths of her and Jensen's sex life. Aside from the basic, yes, he's gifted, and yes, he's hung. For the longest time, she was able to ignore it, but why does Jared know?</p><p>Charlie was ripped from her thoughts as she stared off at the water, see it fluidly move, as her phone dings with a text. She looked around for a second, realizing the streets were starting to fill up and cars were beginning to drive on the road. She needed to head back. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she saw the text from Jensen while she checked the time.</p><p> </p><p>--7:31—</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: <strong><em>↗</em></strong><strong><em>️</em></strong><em> You started sharing location with </em><em>Jensen (Babe) Ackles. </em></p><p>
  <em>Today 6:44 AM                                 </em>
</p><p>Jensen: Good Morning, beautiful. Thank you for the Girlfriend-GPS. I would give you shit for not taking a detail, but I know you need the headspace. Please, just be careful. If you're back in time and you're up for it, we can have breakfast in the hotel restaurant before me and Misha’s panel in a few hours.</p><p><strong><em>↗</em></strong><strong><em>️</em></strong> <em>Jensen (Babe) Ackles</em><em> started sharing location with </em><em>you.</em></p><p>
  <em>Today 7:32 AM</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Charlie smiled, like she always did, at his perfectly worded texts. She laughed at the girlfriend GPS and saw he shared his location as well. She figured she’ll probably leave him with her location indefinitely. Letting him feel some ease while there away. Jensen, probably doing the same for her. She ran back to the hotel, faster this time. Charlie wanted Jensen to sleep in before his panel, but he was awake, and as always, she wanted to be with him. The thing that complicated the confusion and apprehension she was having about the conversation the night before even more was that, no matter what, she will always want to be with him or around him. <em>Always.</em></p><p>When Charlie got to the room, Jensen was waiting to shower with her. They got ready for their day and headed upstairs for a quick breakfast. Jensen needed to be downstairs thirty minutes before they took the stage, so they had enough time and didn't have to rush. </p><p>“So, not that I’m not glad you’re exercising. But I know there has to be a reason you woke up at the ass crack of dawn to go running."</p><p><strong><em>Fuck.</em></strong> Charlie hesitated for a second, "I just needed to think."</p><p>"About what? Are you okay? <em>Are we okay?"</em></p><p>"I wanna tell Maggie."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, confused. "Tell Maggie?"</p><p>"About everything. About us, Danneel, Vicki… Mi-Misha. " She said Misha's name alone, almost like she didn't want to say it. Jensen caught it.</p><p>“I was under the impression Maggie knew.”</p><p>"HA!" she threw her head back. "You would know if she knew."</p><p>"Okay... well, that makes me nervous." he laughs. "Is there a reason you haven't told Maggie?" She looked at him and shrugged. "Are you embar…" he stopped himself from saying the word, knowing it would upset her. "Are you not comfortable telling her because of the nature of-”</p><p>"No, Jensen! Stop it with yourself deprecating crap. I didn't tell her out of respect for you. And Misha. And Vicki. And Danneel. Not that Maggie would say anything or gossip. It's not that. I just felt like I was put in a weird position, and I needed time. Yes, I am comfortable telling her. Well, now. Sure, I was hesitant in the beginning. A little embarrassed. But more so because it was new and different and, like, so not me. Well, old me… I guess." She smiles at how stupid she sounded. As if she was a completely different person having met Jensen. She wasn't, just more alive. "I don't think I would have been comfortable telling her before. Shit, I couldn't even wrap my head around it all. But I've… you know, dipped my little toes in." She smiled at him, then bites her lip, blushing a bit. Jensen reaches over to her, the two of them sitting close together in the same booth, as he grazes her cheek with his thumb.</p><p>“I fucking love your body. It always tells me what you’re not saying.”</p><p>Charlie bit her lip, holding back her witty remark for a second, but let it slip anyway. "Not always."</p><p>"Oh really?" he chuckles. "Are we keeping secrets, Calliope?” He smiled wide.</p><p>Charlie squeezes her legs, shooting a look at him. She loved it when he said her name, so... confident and seductively. "<em>Definitely.</em>" She got closer to his mouth, ignoring where they were, and softly grazed her lips with his. "I love it when you say my name…<em>sir</em>." She pulls back, looking around as Jensen balls his hands into fists. “Besides, aren’t you?”</p><p>Jensen looks at her, his face twitching a bit. Trying to read her eyes, and Charlie lets him. He gave her a slight little nod, biting his lip and looking away to take a quick swing of his coffee. “Yes, you can tell Maggie.”</p><p>She hated this. This little feeling of secrecy. Why can’t they just talk about it? "Is it true?"</p><p>Jensen looked at Charlie, his eyes squinted, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "What?"</p><p>Charlie didn't say anything, and Jensen read her face, waiting for her to say something, but when nothing came, he knew. He pulled back a bit, looking her over.</p><p>“Wha-" he couldn’t even form a question, looking down, mulling it over, then looked back at Charlie. "Misha?" She nodded slowly, looking anxious. Jensen let out a heavy sigh. "It's not like that. With that… telling you… -it-it's not mine to tell."</p><p>Charlie’s brow creases as she looks at him, confused. "What does that even mean? I’m your girlfriend."</p><p>"I know. I’ll take the shit for that. I will. I’m sorry. But, just like you don't wanna tell Maggie because you feel you're betraying me, or whatever. I wanted to tell you, Charlie. But I felt like I'm betraying Misha. And that isn't something you just discuss, and it goes away. I'm not gonna say I haven't thought about it. I mean, past aside, every dude thinks about it." Charlie tilted her head with a nod, having to agree. “But I knew from the beginning. <strong><em>That. All that.</em></strong> Would be a solid ‘no’ for you. And I’m okay with that. So, I don’t even entertain it. I didn’t entertain him when there was something to entertain. Now… it’s nothing. So it’s like, what? Tell you Misha may or may not have had a small little crush on you. And when I found out I told him no. You’re mine. My sweet little innocent Charlie. If anyone is going to corrupt you, it's going to be me."</p><p>Charlie couldn't help but smile at him. <strong><em>How the fuck does he manage to make everything sound dirty, sexy, and sweet at the same time?</em></strong></p><p>“Was he pissed? Why was he all… moody?”</p><p>He smiles. “Like I said, it had a little to do with you. He told me. I was pissed and said no. But I also said something he didn’t want to hear about his marriage to Vicki. The truth”<br/>“What about his marriage?”<br/>“Again, not mine to tell. And again… Misha has his moments.”</p><p>“So do you.” Jensen nodded, agreeing. Charlie looked at him, biting her lip. “What do <em>you</em> want?”</p><p>Jensen backs up for a second. "What do I want?" Charlie nodded. He didn't know to answer. "I just want you..."</p><p>"Yeah, but you already have me. And as much as I know that there’s truth to you just wanting me, I feel like you're editing yourself for me. Holding back. So, I'm asking you, what do you <em>want</em>?”</p><p>He smiles, trying to figure her out. "I could say the same about you. You’re changing yourself for me.”</p><p>Charlie shrugged. “Yeah, but you’re showing me…things. Not making me hide aspects of myself. You’re making me <em>find </em>aspects of myself.”</p><p>Jensen didn’t know what to say. “What do you want?"</p><p>"I want <em>all</em> of you,” she said, and slowly smiled then gave him a wink. “See what I did there?”</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Jensen leaned forward to kiss her, interrupted by the waiter bringing their check and refilling their coffee. Asking if they needed anything else. “No, thank you. Just a receipt, please,” Jensen replied, going into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, and handing the waiter his credit card. Giving him a gentle smile than looking back at Charlie, who never took her eyes off him.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said.</p><p>“For?”</p><p>"Breakfast, silly." Charlie moved back in to finish their kiss. Lingering for a second before nuzzling his nose with hers. She lightly grazes his cheek with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Can’t say I thought this would be the conversation we were going to be having today.”</p><p>"What conversation?" she asked, pretending she didn't know what he was talking about.</p><p>“Does it bother you?”</p><p>Charlie took a deep breath, looking around the rest of the restaurant. The parts she could see. They were in the back, trying to have a private breakfast before she had to share him with the world and lose him for two weeks.</p><p>"I don't like that you kept it from me. I told you. I need honesty. But I also get it. Wanting to be a good friend. Even though. I still don't know the depth of this..." she didn't finish that sentence. "But if you mean, does Misha having what, that hots for me, bother me? Ehh. It's awkward, I guess. If I feed into it, but I'm not going to. It's flattering. I know you say we flirt.-"</p><p>"You do."</p><p>"Misha's... I don't know, Misha. I don't see him like that. I'm just comfortable with him. It takes me a while to warm up to people, but I just always felt comfortable with him."</p><p>"I know. Which is why it doesn't bother me."</p><p>"The only part that bothers me is… I have to work with the guy."</p><p>"So do I?”</p><p>Charlie gave him a pointed stare. "You've known him for what? Over ten years. He's your best friend. Or whatever it is, you men consider each other. I've known both of you for… what? Going on two months." Charlie turned her head away for a second, letting that sink in. "Holy shit, it's only been two months."</p><p>Jensen chuckled, looking at her intently, seeing her reaction to that. “Doesn’t it feel like longer?”</p><p>She turned back to look at him, really thinking about his question. <strong><em>Why did it feel like longer? Like we’ve known each other forever, while also wanting to know everything about him.</em></strong> "But we barely know each other," Charlie says. Finally realizing how deep in this she was<em>, in him she was. </em></p><p>“I think on the surface, yeah, sure, we don't know each other. The trivial shit. But, in here," Jensen points to her heart, lightly poking her shirt, "I know you pretty damn well. I may not know your favorite color, how old you were when you had your first crush, or all the bones you’ve broken, you know, dressing. But I know <em>you</em>. I know who you truly are. All the parts that matter. I know what gets you to tick, what makes you cry, what makes you happy.” Jensen smiles. "I know that you love your family and friends no matter how much they annoy or drive you crazy. You hold them all above yourself. <em>Myself included.</em> I know you think and ponder far more than you say. You're also very intuitive. Even though you're quiet, you pay attention to everything. I know that you're scared of showing the world parts of yourself because of how much the world has shown you you shouldn't. I know you have so much to give. You're soft on the outside, shy, timid, but only when it comes to yourself. When it comes to the people you respect, adore, and love, you fight like hell for them." Charlie looks down, realizing everything he said was right but never seeing herself in that way. "And even though we don't talk about it. I know you know the same about me. We're not with each other for gain or hedonism. Those are just perks, because to our core, our foundation, we don't have to work towards learning about one another. We understand each other pretty well and work well together. It's the circumstances of our life that complicates things, not us. In all the chaos, we're each other's anchor."</p><p>"You’re right." She shrugged with a shy smile. Jensen smiles back, looking over her face, waiting for her to say more. "Green," she finally says. He looked at her perplexed. "My favorite color… it's green." She smiled at him again. "The very thing that hooked me when I first saw you. I couldn't look away...your gorgeous green eyes."</p><p>“That easy, huh?”<br/>“Yes,” Charlie reluctantly replied.</p><p>Just as Jensen was about to move in for a kiss, they were interrupted by an, "Ex-excuse me?"</p><p>Someone said from the side of them, neither seeing who because they were just looking at each other. Jensen instantly shook the intimate little moment off, being interrupted, and knowing what to expect when he turned his head. He looked away from her, turning the charm on, and facing their polite interrupter.</p><p>“Hello,” Jensen smiles at them.</p><p>Charlie looks up to them as well with a smile but then looks over at him. Watching him. Wondering what a weird dichotomy it must be to try and be a normal-eating-breathing-loving-grieving person while also being idolized. Jensen was kind to his fans, gentle, and Charlie realized she wanted more moments of this, seeing him in his element.</p><p>The girls apologized for intruding, and they both blew it off, saying they were fine. Jensen spoke to them for a minute, and Charlie joined. They even recognized Charlie, and she couldn’t help but feel strange that strangers knew her… <em>for nothing. </em>They asked about her projects with Misha and said they already bought tickets and volunteered for the events. Charlie, getting excited, thanking them and offering to take a picture of them with Jensen. Even though Charlie was reluctant, and Jensen was hesitant, they asked for a photo with her as well, and she agreed. She didn't know why they would want her picture, and she knew it would probably cause more attention, but they were so sweet and nervous she couldn't say no. Jensen and Charlie hugged the two ladies and headed back out.</p><p>Charlie met with Olivia for coffee as the boys did whatever the boys did. All the while having Cliff on her tail. Charlie even bought him coffee to be nice. She also made him sit with them, feeling weird about him just hovering. After coffee, they walked around for a bit. Olivia, giving Charlie more insight into the whole process, the merchandise, and how far the Supernatural world actually reaches, or capitalizes, depending on the perspective. Cliff and Charlie being a bit recognized, but it wasn’t too bad.</p><p>Olivia had to head off to do something for Misha, and Charlie Cliff walked around some more. As she walked, her phone began to ring. Seeing it was Maggie calling her back. Charlie answered immediately.</p><p>“Hello, stranger!” Charlie said with excitement, finally being able to talk to her best friend. She had been so busy, and Charlie was trying to give her space to adjust. They hadn't spoken a lot over the past couple of weeks, and she missed her Maggie.</p><p>“Hiiiii! How are you?”</p><p>"I miss you."</p><p>“Awe, babe. I know, I miss you too. I'm not gonna lie. It's been a roller coaster over here."</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“Just waking up in the ass crack of dawn. I’ve not even in LA. I’m in Toronto.”</p><p>"WHAT?! You bitch so am I!"</p><p>"Really?!"</p><p>"Yes, but I leave in like 5 hours.”</p><p>"Yeah, and I’m stuck on location till god knows when.”</p><p>"Meh. If you answered my calls, or texts, or emails, you would know!”</p><p>Maggie laughs. "I know. I'm sorry."</p><p>Charlie laughs back. "It's okay. Olivia was telling me. I get it. Are you doing okay, though? Are they treating you well? Do I have to go momma bear on some execs ‘cause I’ll go fucking momma bear on some execs?"</p><p>At the corner of her eye, Charlie could see Cliff laughing at her as she talked on the phone and walked around.</p><p>Maggie chuckles. "God, I miss you. No, Charlie. They are treating me perfectly. It's just different than what I am used to. I had to finish all my commissions before signing on. So that drove me insane for a bit.”</p><p>"Don't I know it."</p><p>"And I started-started officially on Monday, and now I’m in Toronto. I’m learning a lot. This is all wild. Can't believe it's happening, but it’s great.”</p><p>Charlie wanted so badly to tell Maggie everything at that moment, including who she could thank for her dream job, but she didn’t. She let Maggie go on about everything with her job. Her plans going forward and life as she knew it. Maggie still had plans to attend her mother’s wedding in a few weeks, so they would see each other then.</p><p>Charlie just filled her in on the basics since her life was a bit calm at the moment as she lived out her little vacation. She missed Maggie, and a part of her felt some feeling of being pushed aside, but she knew it wasn't intentional or in a disrespectful way. Charlie knew Maggie had a lot going on. She even knew she only had herself to thank for all the changes. But she had to remind herself that everything was good. All the changes were good, and with change comes hardships. With hardships comes growth.</p><p>Charlie knew, no matter what or how hard they worked towards it, they would eventually become busy with their lives, and the dynamic she was used to would fade. She was used to talking to Maggie every single day. It took a while for her to get used to not seeing Maggie every day. Day in and day out. It was a natural thing to her, but now… she felt a divide. So, she settled for catching up on the basics and keeping the other stuff to herself, for now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Good Clean Fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the two were on the phone for a little bit, Maggie had to go, and Charlie headed back to the green room to catch Misha and Jensen's panel. She tried peeking in before heading to the green room. When she walked in, she heard the entire crowd laughing at something they said. The two of them, just sitting on the stage laughing as well. She was able to sneak past a few people standing near the door, and took a seat on the side, unnoticed. She just wanted to sit for a few minutes and see them from a different point of view and not from screens. Cliff stood by the door, watching as well, while also watching Charlie.</p><p>Misha and Jensen together were hilarious. When a fan asked Jensen about his relationship with Charlie, ironically, as she sat in the back and he didn't know, she got nervous watching his reaction. When he goes on to not answer the question but comment on how much he has enjoyed her company and contribution to the end of the show plans, she began to feel a little emotional and a little too exposed.</p><p>Charlie slowly got up to leave, trying to tip-toe out of the double doors.</p><p>"Wait, wait!” Misha said, interrupting Jensen. “Is that who I think it is?" Misha asks into the mic, and Charlie freezes, looking back. “Speak of the angel.” Misha was looking at her, and the crowd followed his direction. Charlie smiled and shook her head. Trying to being nice but trying to tell him no.</p><p>Jensen finally followed Misha's gaze and noticed Charlie in the back corner of the room, standing very close to the exit, and he smiled. "Almost," he said into the mic. “She almost made it.”</p><p>Charlie didn't say anything, not letting anything on. "We see you there, our little worker angel. Come here, Charlie?" Misha says.</p><p>The crowd begins to chatter, some squealing in excitement and looking at her. Jensen just sits in his chair and watches, pretending to be unphased, letting Misha finish his antic. <strong>Asshole.</strong> Charlie shook her head and saw Cliff coming towards her with a mic in his hand that a coordinator just handed him. Her eyes go wide, and she begins to look at everyone looking at her. She smiles at them and gives them a wave. And they all begin to do the same back. Cliff comes over to her with a smile and nod.</p><p>"Whose side are you on?" She asked with a laugh.</p><p>"Theirs," he said with a huge smile, tipping his head to the audience or stage. She didn't know which one and decided not to care.</p><p>Charlie takes it and nods, then apprehensively speak into the mic. "Good morning. Hi. I just wanted to check out the panel. I'm not staying." She says to everyone.</p><p>"Okay, that's fine. Just come here for a minute,” Misha beckons.</p><p>Charlie looked at him with a death stare and then looked at Jensen, who seemed still <em>unphased.</em><strong><em>Fucking actors!... I’m gonna kick their asses. </em></strong>She looked at everyone and then looked in the direction Cliff was leading her and followed him reluctantly. Misha walked over to the side of the stage, taking Charlie's hand and helping her up the steps.</p><p>"Really regretting the choice to dress down this morning," she says into the mic. Letting out her usual nervous sarcasm. She was wearing a casual look with Vans, skinny jeans, a ‘Cigarettes After Sex’ band shirt, and hoodie with her hair down. <strong><em>So not an outfit to be on stage with</em></strong>. The audience laughs, which she wasn't expecting, and it kind of made her smile at them. <strong><em>Yay, they think I’m funny.</em></strong> Giving a little wave to a few as they got excited when she walked by.</p><p>"Oh, stop it. You're gorgeous. Come on. You'll be fine,” Misha argued.</p><p>When someone screamed her name, she followed the noise and saw a girl waving excitedly at her. "Hi," Charlie said into the mic, and Jensen finally let a smile form on his face.</p><p>"Mish, what are you doing to this poor girl? Just let her do her job?" Jensen says as Charlie finally gets to the middle of the stage with Misha. She looks over at Jensen casually. They met eyes for a second, and Charlie could tell, even though Jensen wasn’t really letting on, he was enjoying this way too much. <strong><em>Yup. Kicking his ass.</em></strong></p><p>"Charlie, I wanted to introduce you to some people,” Misha said, interrupting their stare and making her face the audience.</p><p>The crowd begins to scream as he puts the mic to the audience. She smiles wide to the giant display of welcoming yells and waves, waving back. Too stunned to say or do anything else. Her heart was pounding, and all she could think about was running off the stage. <strong><em>Why the hell didn’t I just go to the green room?</em></strong> </p><p>"Charlie Maeson, this is the Supernatural family." They got louder, everyone talking all at the same time. To stand in front of the crowd was deafening. They were loud, but it was amazing. "Supernatural family, this is Charlie Maeson. Or as I selectively call her when I want to sound professional, and kinda mess with her a little, Charlotte." Misha brings Charlie in for a side hug. Keeping his arm wrapped around her waist and holding her on the stage. He knew she wanted to run, and she would hate him for this. "Charlie here has been a major force for good. She's helped out a lot with our upcoming Supernatural festival. How many of you have purchased tickets? Filled some volunteer gaps?”</p><p>The crowd yells again. From what Charlie could tell, the whole room signed on. "This is actually something I wanted to share at the later panel with Jensen and Jared." Charlie turns to Misha, looking at him confused, and then to Jensen. Jensen was standing up now, next to the little table holding the 'apple juice.' She looked back to the crowd throwing her arms up like she had no idea what he was about to say. Feeling nervous to find out. "The festival hasn't even begun. Since your outreach post early last week, Charlie, we have already raised over $117,000."</p><p>Charlie's eyebrows raise at Misha. "REALLY?!" Charlie asked excitedly, her surprise genuine. Which was probably part of Misha's intention for making her come on the stage. Let her get praised for her hard work but not realizing how much her efforts have gone.</p><p>“And with Warner Brothers matching ten percent of what we bring in, to go towards volunteer training for the event and across the globe, we will be introducing even more charitable opportunities and volunteer positions in all the festivals. Basically, the more you guys do, the more you get. And it was an amazing idea, Charlie. Thank you,” he said, looking at her sincerely.</p><p>Jensen went to stand next to Misha and put his arm around Misha's shoulder, and the three of them stood in front of the crowd. "So, I want you guys to give her some love. She doesn't like attention, she's a bit nervous in front of a lot of people. Let's be nice to her and show her how much we appreciate her help."</p><p>The crowd begins to scream. Following Misha's directions, and Charlie looks at him with narrowed eyes.</p><p>"Thanks, Misha. Now the whole world will know I'm an awkward turtle." Charlie says, making fun of herself.</p><p>"It's okay though, because Misha's right there with you, Charlie," Jensen said, and patting Misha on the back, Misha looks at him. “Right, Mish?”</p><p>"Misha made a friend," everyone heard someone, in a familiar tone, say off stage.</p><p>Charlie looked behind them to see Jared walking up the steps and onto the stage. The crowd gets louder. "Oh god." Jensen and Charlie both say at the same time into their mics, knowing if Jared's here, antics follow, and Charlie already out of her element. They look at each other, further making the crowd laugh in response to them.</p><p>"Oh my god, I love it when they talk at the same time!" Jared squirms, pretending to be a super fan.</p><p>Charlie just laughs. "What's up, Jared?" she says.</p><p>Jared walks over to her, giving her a bear hug and keeping her in his embrace. Now wedged between Jared and Misha. Misha, giving them a little more space and allowing Jared to talk.</p><p>"I just wanted to be part of the fun!" Jared said to the crowd.</p><p>"This isn't your panel, Jared," Jensen says in his deep voice, pretending to be annoyed. Charlie, again, looks at him, and he looks at her. They give each other a knowing smile.</p><p>"Yeah, well, Ackles. You get more time with me." Jared retorts.</p><p> Jensen rolls his eyes. "Great. Cause that's what I need, <em>more time with you</em>. I spend almost all of my time with you!" Jensen argues.</p><p>Charlie looks at Misha, who is just watching them bicker at one another. "Awe,” she bumps Misha, making him look at her. “Jensen wants his Misha time," Charlie says, making a pouting face to the crowd, finally getting comfortable on stage.</p><p> Jensen turns his head to Charlie, giving her a ‘pretend fury, annoyed and angry' Jensen face. Everyone begins to laugh. Misha squeezes her to him and throws a thumbs up at her. Charlie winks back at Jensen as she begins to laugh. Jared follows and lets her go. She looked at Jensen and stopped laughing, holding her lips tightly together. Charlie pretended to drop a mic with her other hand, making Jensen falter and start laughing this time, and the crowd joins with him.</p><p>"But no, in all seriousness, I came out here because I kinda just wanted to say 117 grand, in what less than two weeks Misha?... is a lot of money, and Charlie has honestly helped us a lot. Just giving us new ideas, really doing it in a way where you guys can not only do some good but also get to spend time with us. And I kinda wanted to come out here and just say thank you, Charlie," Jared speaks. Misha and Jensen nodded in agreement.</p><p>Charlie smiled at him, “Your welcome.”</p><p>"Yeah. It was actually Charlie's idea to make it a volunteer-type thing. She organized a huge list of potential charities, causes, non-profits both in the US and around the world. With a hope that everyone would do their part, it would build into something even better. Allowing for the chance to do more. Which is what happened. Just a lot faster than we imagined.” He laughed. “She thought it would be great to have you guys get together with all of us, hand in hand, and do some good. Raise some money in the process. Which meant we needed more sponsors to facilitate the event. She even got Warner Brothers to contribute. When it comes to causes and things that matter, she’s pretty persistent. Warner didn’t really have a choice.” They all chuckled. “She worked pretty hard on that. The two of them. Misha and her. She thought it was a great way to sort of say 'thank you for 15 seasons' in a way that we can all get behind, respect, and enjoy. So yeah. Thank you, Charlie. You've certainly made this little family that we have all the better," Jensen said, looking at her and no doubt adding more weight to his final words.</p><p>"Yeah, when I got off the phone with my team at random acts this morning, and they told me how much… we were like, wow," Misha makes an explosive head gesture for emphasis. “It's only been a little over a week since the website had been up. Soo many people have started joining and signing up to help. So, I hope you guys didn't mind. We just wanted to share that. <em>Share her.</em>”</p><p>Charlie looked at Misha when he said those words… she didn’t know why, but she felt like they had a double meaning in the way he said it. <strong><em>Or maybe, I’m so lost in my thoughts on this, I’m reading too much into their words.</em></strong> “Her kind of popping in on us, when she did, was pleasantly unexpected."<strong><em> Again, reading too much into their words.</em></strong></p><p>Misha takes Charlie’s hand and guides her to sit in the seat they brought out for her and didn’t even notice. She shakes her head, saying no, but Misha sits with her and gestures for her to say something.</p><p>"Umm, Hi." She says, looking at the crowd, and they all say Hi back. "I don't know what to say. What do I say?" She turns to Jensen, and he just shrugs with a smile.</p><p>"How you likin' the panel?" Jensen asked.</p><p>She smiles at him, and he gives her a cocky smile back. “I’ve only witnessed a solid 3 minutes, but based on that… I’m lovin’ it,” she responds sarcastically.</p><p>"Actually, you know what? How about we ask Charlie a question? Yeah?" Misha says after taking Jared's mic. Jared throws his hands up. Waving bye to the crowd because he had to go.</p><p>Charlie gives Jared a look saying, 'save me,' and he shrugged apologetically and walked off stage. "Thanks, Jared." She said into the mic, and she heard him laugh. She looks at Misha. "Sure. Yeah. Question... go for it."</p><p>Jensen smiles at her response, he knew she was hating this, and he couldn't help but find it funny. They loved her, him and Misha loved having her, but she was too in her head to enjoy it. Misha points to someone in the crowd to ask her something.</p><p>"Hi, Charlie. I'm Megan."</p><p>"Hi, Megan.”</p><p>"Yay, I got you." She beams, and it makes Charlie grin. "I originally had a question for Jensen, but I wanted to say thank you, to you. I learned that you strongly advocate for mental health. Along with a lot of other causes but mostly mental health, and you've even worked with Jared on his new campaign. The Non-profits you’ve advocated for and partner with. I've struggled with depression and other things my whole life, and to have someone like Jared fighting for a cause… for someone like me, and to learn it's something close to your heart. It gives me hope, and I just want to say your gorgeous. I love what you do. So, thank you. And I don't know if you and Jensen are a thing. I hope you are. I would love you two together, but yeah, thank you." Charlie and Jensen both smiled after listening to her.</p><p>Charlie hesitated for a second, trying to think of what to say. "Thank you.” She nods. “And you're welcome?” She said questionably, "Umm, you know I'm-I’m not really used to this whole limelight, being on stage thing, so I'm sorry if I come off a little standoffish right now. I am kinda nervous. MISHA!" She laughs, looking at him pointedly. Misha comes over and hugs her, and the crowd 'awes.' She pats his face in a funny way to be a bitch for trapping her in this, and the crowd laughs some more. "Do I just answer it openly?" she asks him with a laugh. "Just not sure how much time I have. I can make this a Ted-Talk,” she said with a laugh.</p><p>Misha nods, giving Charlie a thumbs up. Charlie turns back to the girl. "Right…So, it’s, uhh, it’s funny you say that, cause I said the same thing to Jared when I met him.” Charlie could see Jensen nodding his head in agreement, remembering the first time Jared and Charlie met. "For a long time, there weren't a lot of celebrities or talents who were open about their struggles, and Jared was certainly one of those few that opened the door for others. For more recognition and education. The human experience is something that is not often talked about. How debilitating it can be to just… <em>live.</em> And to do that while fighting your own demons is a really hard thing to do. And in the past, that was such a stigma. You know. If you had depression or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, you were not of a 'normal' standing in the world. But those are human attributes. You can't change them. So, people kept it to themselves, never sought help, and never learned to adapt. It will always be there, but you <em>can</em> overcome it. And I believe the more and more people are educated, they can come to learn the notion that resilience is not just a concept. It's literally a way of life. Something you constantly have to work towards. Or in my belief, fight for. Which is something that I think is so great about Jared. Something I respect greatly. And I hope he forgives me for talking about him, but he acknowledges himself, wholly and openly. He chooses to share that vulnerability with the world. Letting others know, 'Listen, I'm a pretty decent member of society. I'm well known, well-liked, well respected. I have everything in life that can only lead to nothing but happiness. Success, money, a beautiful family, wonderful and supportive friends. I put a lot into the world. I try to be a good person, and I still fight every day to feel happy in my own self. To be content with who I am. To learn to live and co-exist with the demons that afflict me. We all have them, just some more than others." Charlie pauses. "I think his message is amazing. Along with, countless others now. Who stand up and acknowledge their hardships, flaws, and shortcomings. So, thank you for comparing me to him. That means a lot. More than you can know.”</p><p>"Can you give them an idea as to why those causes are so important to you?” Misha asks. “Not in details.” He laughs. “But I know you went to school to help others in a non-traditional way.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine.” She laughs. “I lost someone very close to me to suicide. Due to bipolar disorder. And I was faced, in the worst way, with a reality of what the brain is capable of doing. Medication doesn’t work for everyone. Therapy doesn’t work for everyone. They don’t work for me. You can’t change your DNA. I went to school, educated myself, and even wrote a thesis to further help myself and in the hope of helping others. Help them acknowledge that, yes, there are negatives. There will always be negatives to every situation, but I can promise you, without a doubt, there will always be more positives. I've worked on that part of myself for years, and I'm still learning and still adapting. After that loss, I fell into a deep depression. And I had a choice, I can continue to be a victim, or I can stand up and help others not feel how I felt. I hold that loss as both a blessing and a curse. As I’m sure a lot of those who battle mental illness do. I will forever feel the burden, but I’ll also forever walk away feeling humbled because I realized there are so many people out there fighting that fight. Silently or openly. But unfortunately, more silently. Because the world constantly reminds us that we have to assimilate, we have to be ‘normal’ or, we'll never be accepted. I don't believe that. I got a tattoo that says in Latin, ‘if you want peace, prepare for war.’”</p><p>"Really?" Misha asked.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s on my side.”</p><p>“That’s fucking awesome.”</p><p>"I got it in a place only I could see every day. As a reminder. If I want my peace, if I want to grow old and be happy and mentally free, I have to fight for that freedom. It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be a walk in the park. I’m going into no man’s land, and it’s going to be a battle. There are days I need that reminder, then there are days it makes me smile because I overcame small victories along the way.” Charlie turns her head back to Megan, “And I hope you walk away from this panel today knowing that we all have bad days. Every single person on this stage is not immune to being human. We ugly cry like everyone else, and you are not alone. You are the reason Jared comes out about his mental health. The reason why people like Misha, Jensen, and myself do fundraisers, galas, and causes. To remind you, there is always hope. And you're gorgeous as well. Thank you for your question. I’m sorry I rambled. Take care of yourself. I hope I see you at one of the festivals." She smiled and nodded, then went to hand the microphone back to Misha, but he made her keep it.</p><p>"One more question? How much time do we have, Daniella?" Misha asked the woman on the side of the stage who gave Cliff her mic.</p><p>"Twenty minutes," Jensen said as he looks at his watch.</p><p>"Oh, okay. Were good." He turns to Charlie. "One more question?"</p><p>She shrugs. “Sure. Why not.”</p><p>As Charlie was talking, Jensen came and sat on the chair next to her. Leaving her in the middle of the two of them. She looked over at him, giving him a casual smile, and he bumps her shoulder with his as he goes to look at Misha. It was a small gesture, but Charlie felt at ease because of it. They couldn't be themselves with each other at this moment, especially remembering their earlier conversation… but he was there.</p><p>"Awesome, we'll go with you. The young lady in the orange shirt. Yes, you." Misha continues, not paying attention to the two on stage, but they both knew the audience was.</p><p>Charlie waits for the girl to get the mic. She looks around at the others smiling up at her.</p><p>"Hi, I'm Beth."</p><p>"Hi, Beth." All three of them say.</p><p>"Charlie, do you watch supernatural? And if so, what's your favorite episode?"</p><p>Both Jensen and Misha look at her with raised eye brown, knowing the answer but making fun of it.</p><p>"Ummmm." She laughs. "When the show came out, I didn't know anything about it. I'm not a show watcher per se. I like to watch movies. I don't like the whole, ongoing plot thing with shows. I tend to need immediate closure. I more so watch them when they're done or when it has an actor, I love in it."</p><p>"Guess that wasn't Supernatural," Jensen said, being a smart ass.</p><p>Charlie laughs, realizing what she said. "No! Well, yes! Shush! I didn't mean it like that. Like, I love the older comedy actors, you know. Jim Carey is one of them. One of my favorites is also Steve Buscemi. You know the guy in Big Daddy. The ‘sausage McMuffin' dude with daddy issues." She laughs, remembering the movie. “I love him. He’s just one of those actors that can do comedy and drama, so perfectly.” She looked at Jensen. “I know a few personally, like that.” She smiled wide at him. Trying to butter him up. “Anyway, he did a show on HBO a few years back, Boardwalk Empire. Amazing. Loved it. Didn't watch it till it was on its final season, though." She said nervously, realizing she was rambling. " Sorry. I never watched supernatural until recently. But I do remember seeing one episode that piqued my interest once on TNT. You know the re-runs. I mean, I saw a few over the years, and all of them kind of piqued, so I always planned on going back to watch it, but this particular one…Cas was evil, the episode had bobby in it, and you know Sam and Dean. And at the time, I was like, oh my god. I have no idea where the episode was in the story or context of the show. But whoever this actor was, just killed it. He went from being an ego-driven grandiose god to sweet apologetic Cas to maniacal Leviathan. So, over the years, everyone I knew watched, and they loved it. I was like, 'Okay, it’s still around. I’ll watch it when the show ends because nine-ten-eleven seasons, it’ll have to end eventually. So, I started watching after I was commissioned by Misha. I had no excuse. The show was finally ending. Also, learned the show featured Timothy Omundson." Jensen made a face at Charlie, wondering what that had to do with anything. She saw his reaction. "Uhh, hello. Eli from Xena Warrior Princess."</p><p>"I think we're learning a lot about you, Charlie." Misha laughs. She shrugs.</p><p>"But I caught up on every single episode in two months." She says, proud of herself.</p><p>"When do you find the time to do that?" Jensen asked.</p><p>"While I worked." She laughs and looks at Misha. "Sorry, Boss." She turns over laughing. Misha follows.</p><p>"Wait, you're telling me. While you're working on Supernatural stuff, you're watching Supernatural?" Jensen asked.</p><p>"Yeah." She laughs some more, and the audience laughs with her.</p><p>"Wow," Jensen said, pretending to be surprised.</p><p>"When she commits, she commits," Misha added.</p><p>"Listen, once I got to the whole, hand-to-hand combat fight and 'Dad went away on a hunting trip,' I was hooked. Then, the whole, hand mark on the arm, 'I raised you from perdition-I was a done!" She laughed. "Weren’t they all so precious!” Charlie says in a sweet voice to the audience. “That was a favorite. I don't remember the name. But I also liked 'Baby.' That was an awesome episode."</p><p>"Yeah, it's one of my favorites," Jensen adds with a nod.</p><p>"Oh, the directing is phenomenal. The 360 turn was awesome. I wish there was more, Jared." Charlie gives him a cheeky smile, “but, that’s… that’s an awesome episode there, Jensen.”</p><p>Charlie stayed on the stage for another ten minutes. Answering a couple more questions before the panel began to wrap up. When she walked off the stage alone, and finally composed herself, she couldn’t help but feel off. And she didn’t know why, but that irritated her. She couldn't read that situation, the two of them. She was also annoyed she felt she had to. Trying to find the meaning in their words. Even though she knew there was a chance, there weren't any double meanings at all.</p><p>She was tired of dealing with the charade. She was willing to ignore it then but knowing Jared knew rubbed her the wrong way. All she could think about was the night the three of them had a conversation. Thinking of all the details they gave her as she slowly tried to put the invisible pieces together. She no longer knew how to feel about this. It was like she wanted to be upset. Pissed even, but the moment she was around Jensen, or heard his voice, or read his words, she wanted nothing more than to be with him. Go to him. Talk to him. Do whatever he wanted her to do. Be whatever he wanted her to be. He had her wrapped around his finger, and she didn’t know how to be.</p><p>Charlie wasn’t pissed about being brought on stage. She actually enjoyed it, but after leaving the stage and feeling all that, she was overwhelmed. Her mind racing and not being able to calm down. She wanted to call Maggie, and she did, but she didn’t answer. Cursing herself for not talking to her about this earlier. She needed to talk to someone, but she didn’t know who. There were very few people she could turn to about this. And suddenly, she thought of who. As reluctant as she was, Charlie went into her phone and pulled out the contact. Walking away from the green room and heading back upstairs to their hotel room. Dialing the number and feeling a major sense of anxiety when she heard the phone begin to ring on the other end, eventually going to a voicemail.</p><p>“Hello. You’ve reached Danneel Ackles. I’m sorry I missed your call. Please leave…”-BEEP-</p><p>“Hii, Danneel. This is Charlotte. Sorry. Charlie…Maeson.” She awkwardly said her own name. “I’m Jensen’s… I got your number from him. He said it was fine to reach out to you… just to touch base and finally meet. I just wanted to call and talk, so we can discuss a time to meet. If that’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy. Please feel free to get back to me whenever you can. Texting even works. Just figured I’d reach out first. I’ll be in Texas for my interview after the 31<sup>st. </sup>Hope you are well. Okay. Thanks. Bye.”</p><p>Charlie hung up the phone feeling uneasy. She wasn’t comfortable calling Danneel, not completely. But she needed someone to ease her mind. Someone besides Jensen, or Misha or Jared. Someone preferably with a vagina. She needed a woman. She needed a friend. For a second, she even thought about Olivia, but she knew Olivia wasn’t in on everything, so she couldn’t.</p><p>As she sat on the love seat, looking at the wide window, Charlie felt an overwhelming sense to leave. For a moment there, she even wanted to go back to her little apartment in Seattle. With the rain and the cold, and her best friend beside her. Back to simplicity and ignorance. But none of that was anymore. She had another life to look forward to. She just wished it didn't feel so complicated.</p><p>Charlie decided to try one more person. She was apprehensive about this one as well, but she knew the call was almost long overdue. She went into Misha's texts, retrieving the contact info and pressing the call button, hearing it ring.</p><p>Charlie’s heart dropped when she hears a weird, “Hello?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Arizona Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I didn't mean to post about Danneel for the first time on Danneel's birthday. That was kind of a funny coincidence. I just realized it as I was preparing to post.</p><p>Love it. ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Before she knew it, Charlie had to head back to Arizona. She wanted to have a conversation with Jensen and Misha before she left. Especially after her conversation with Vicki, but they just didn’t have the time. Charlie was apprehensive about even reaching out to the girls. But she knew she had to rip the band-aid off. Eventually being happy with her spontaneous decision to do it before she went home and fall victim to her idle and forever spinning mind. <strong><em>Well, at least the decision to call Vicki was anyway. </em></strong>She never got a call back from Danneel, and the longer and longer she waited, the more and more she worried.</p><p>Charlie didn’t tell Jensen or Misha she spoke to Vicki. She honestly didn’t want to see any reaction from either of them when it was said. Also figuring Vicki would tell Misha, and Misha would tell Jensen. Trying to avoid Jensen's unintentional charming ways of swaying her feelings. Making her even more nervous about speaking with Danneel. She wanted to talk to Danneel most of all, so she patiently waited and kept the little communications a secret for the moment.</p><p>When Charlie went to leave, she said her sweet little goodbye to Jensen and the gang before Cliff drove her to the airport. Hopping on her five-hour flight to sunny and warm Arizona. Feeling reluctant to be back in the clutches of her mother. <strong><em>Yay, wedding time…</em></strong> When she settled into her flight, she hoped to fall asleep and wake up refreshed, knowing the time change would throw her off, but she couldn’t sleep. Every time she tried to settle her mind, it went right back to her conversation with Vicki.</p><p> </p><p>-THREE HOURS EARLIER, WESTIN HARBOUR CASTLE HOTEL, TORONTO, CANADA–</p><p>As she sat on the love seat, looking at the wide window, Charlie felt an overwhelming sense to leave. For a moment there, she even wanted to go back to her little apartment in Seattle. With the rain and the cold, and her best friend beside her. Back to simplicity and ignorance. But none of that was anymore. She had another life to look forward to. She just wished it didn't feel so complicated.</p><p>She didn't like this feeling of uncertainty, and she didn't like the path her thoughts were going in. So, at that moment, with her overthinking and confused mind, she had a sudden spark of courage. No, not courage… determination.</p><p> She was tired of going off what Jensen or Misha, even Jared, said. Apart of Charlie wanted to go downstairs and literally give them a piece of her mind. She honestly couldn't decipher from how she felt, or how she felt she should feel. She needed to hear the other side she had been avoiding for so long. She needed to talk to Danneel and Vicki.</p><p>When Charlie heard a Vicki answer, she knew there was no turning back.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi,” Charlie says back immediately. “Sorry. Hello, Vicki? It’s um, Charlie.” There was an awkward pause. “Maeson?”</p><p>"Oh, oh, yes. Charlotte. Of course. I'm so sorry. I talk to different people on the phone all day, every day. When you say Charlie, I thought of someone else. And when you didn’t sound like a man, I was confused.” Vicki laughs. “Hi! Hold on, let me get away from other people.”</p><p>"Oh, I’m sorry. I can call you another time. I just suddenly had the nerve to call, and I didn’t want to lose my backbone.” Charlie laughs. “I can totally call at another time.”</p><p>"No, no. It's fine. Besides were going to be meeting in a few weeks. I'm glad you called. I’ve been meaning to but-“</p><p>"The book… I know. I heard. Congrats. I think? I don’t know how book publishing works.”</p><p>"Congrats is good and appreciated." Vicki said, walking into a quieter room. "it's been a bit hectic." Charlie hears some more commotion in the background and then silence. "Okay. Hi! It's so nice to hear your voice." They both laugh, and Charlie immediately felt at ease. "Did that sound weird? I just mean, I hear so much from Misha and everyone. Then you're going to be helping the team. It’s not in person yet, but I have a voice to the face. I’m excited. Thank you for calling.”</p><p>"Thank you for being so nice that I'm comfortable with calling." Charlie laughs. “I’ve been meaning to call for some time, but I don't know. I kept pushing it off and pushing it off. I'm in Toronto and about to head home before going to Texas for the interview. And with everything, I just wanted to finally get some clarification before I take anything on."</p><p>"I get it. It's okay. That's kind of why I said we should talk before… I know it can probably be a lot to walk into. But please know, we are all totally on board for you to be on the team at Random. Jensen aside.” Vicki laughs. “before that fateful day… We were well informed of your involvement and overall potential. We think you would be a great influencer, especially with your Marketing and Psychology background. You definitely have a lot of experience… outside of the public eye. You can help us out a lot with outreach. As you already have in such a short amount of time.”</p><p>Charlie smiled, finally feeling what she needed. She just needed some validation everything would be okay. That, her place in Jensen's life was welcomed and real. There was truth and consistency to everything and no drama waiting to unfold. And for the first time, since being offered the job or even talking about joining Random Acts, she felt at complete ease about the decision. There were no lurking questions or dark what-ifs. She without a doubt wanted to work for Random, and she finally felt free to be excited. Excited to start a new job, to move someplace new, and start over again. To be happy and content with what she did every day and with who.</p><p>“That makes me relieved to hear. You have no idea.” Charlie nervously laughed.</p><p>"I have an idea.” Vicki laughed back. “Misha told me about your apprehension with taking the position. About your past. And, trust me, I get it. I’ve only been on the board for a year. Misha loves his work, his little makeshift family, and I do too, but I’m a very enclosed person. Danneel and Gen are used to it. They actually use it for good, to promote things……I like to stay under the radar.”</p><p>"Yes!" Charlie greed.</p><p>“Yeah. Definitely don't like mixing business with pleasure. For the most part, I stayed away from the Supernatural stuff and helped Misha on the back end. But, over time, things changed. So, when I was voted into the board, I was apprehensive.” She laughs. “But, when the collective goal of every single person in the company is to put aside personal shit and do good for the world, all that stuff kinda falls away. And for us, girlfriends or wives, it can sometimes be a double-edged sword. You have to balance everything perfectly, but I promise the end result is always worth it. You learn to balance yourself. And, if it makes you feel better, we all plan on being there in person or by phone just to ease you a bit. And just answer whatever questions you might have during and after the meeting.” She pauses for a second. “I also know, that’s not the whole reason your calling…”</p><p>"…Guilty.”</p><p>Vicki chuckles. “You must find it all so weird.”</p><p>"Not weird. No. Different. I don't know… it doesn't bother me. I was raised, for the most part, to be free-thinking. Non-conforming is you will. I actually respect it. Not that it needs respect, but… you know, social conventions. For you all to be willing and understanding to try it. I think there are far too many couples that restrict their partners to what they think and want… My goal isn't to change Jensen or belittle who he was. It's to accept all of him. But I think he's scared to fully let me in. And I can't say I blame him. I know what they told me. And I guess part of why I am calling is to-“</p><p>"Respectfully confirm everything that was told to you was the truth.”</p><p>"…Well, yes. But also, understand better.” Charlie answered reluctantly.</p><p>"As you should. I admire that you were thoughtful enough to reach out. I don't think a lot would have. And I know being thrown in all this isn't easy."</p><p>"It's not a hardship. Jensen… he's great. I don't think I have to explain that to you. Misha is amazing. I'll admit to feeling torn since I found out. Only because I knew, eventually, I needed to reach out to you and … Danneel. And, I don’t know. I was nervous as to how everyone would take…me. I’m sorry it took me so long.”</p><p>Vicki laughs, "Honey, Misha sent me your info the same time he sent you mine. It's an awkward situation. There is no manual on how to peacefully call your boyfriend's friend’s wife. Just to have some peace of mind about them sleeping together, some time ago, before you were ever in the picture." Charlie fell silent, hearing her finally say it. "Have you spoken to Danneel?”</p><p>"I called her before I called you, but she didn’t answer. It was random. I expected voicemails. But if I didn’t do it now, I would have waited to the very last minute… no offense.”</p><p>"I'm with you." There was a long pause. Both ladies, knowing exactly what was on the other's mind, but neither really sure how to ask. "It's okay. You can ask me?"</p><p>"To be honest with you…. I have no idea what to ask."</p><p>"Well… you're dating Jensen?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"How is that?"</p><p>Charlie smiles. "Complicated."</p><p>Vicki chuckles, "Is <em>it</em> complicated? or are you and him, separately, <em>complicated</em>?”</p><p>"I don't know anymore. Both." Charlie sighed.</p><p>“Okay. Well…I’ll just start from the beginning…”</p><p>Vicky went on to tell Charlie almost everything, to a tee, that Misha and Jensen told her, but with more details. A female’s point of view. And outsider to the Misha and Jensen show. But she also added something. Something she now knew was what Jensen was unwilling to tell her. Something that made certain things make sense. Vicki and Misha have been separated for over two years. She admitted to having a complicated marriage after Maison was born. With Vicki working on her publications and writing, trying to be a person all her own outside of Misha, and Misha constantly away filming and conventions, building Random Acts, it put a strain on them as people and a couple. They were able to depend on one another but at a huge sacrifice. Eventually, the two decided they would allow the freedom to go outside of one another when it came to sex because time, place, and energy constantly got in the way. Causing increased frustration in both of them and leading to more friction. Pretty much the same thing Jensen said as to why him and Danneel ‘experimented.’ To keep the other… <em>satiated.</em> However, only on the basis that the other agreed. More so for the safety of their overall stability and children."</p><p>“We were young when we met. We didn't know ourselves enough then, and now we know each other <em>too much</em>. I love him, but we used to argue… a lot, over stupid shit. And more so because we were both frustrated with ourselves, life, never having each other. Especially after Maison was born. We moved to Washington, so it was easier to get to and from filming. He got an assistant to help maintain everything. Basically tried to lighten the load, but we also knew we needed to fix things before the kids got big. So, we agreed to separate, but not legally.”</p><p>"So that's why you guys…"</p><p>"Agree to different sexual partners? Yes. We had partners we shared over the years, even at the beginning of our marriage. Like experimenting, threesomes...” She paused, realizing how weird that must have sounded to Charlie. But Charlie said nothing, just listened. “And when we did fight, it was about who was or wasn’t doing less or more. But we were both doing the same, just in different capacities. And our only option was to ask the other to stop doing what they love. What gives them purpose. And when you love someone, you can’t ask them to do that. There are sacrifices, but not that. Divorce is never an option. I guess being together for so long, we almost needed to find each other, outside of each other.”</p><p>"So, do you guys, like, date other people? Or?"</p><p>"Date… no. We’re not legally separated or divorced. For the most part, we are committed to one another. There will never be anyone else for me besides Misha in that way. We just handle ourselves apart, and our business and family together. We work better that way. In other words, we have an open marriage. We have the freedom, but we also have a say.”</p><p> </p><p>--NOW, UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT TO PHX INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT--</p><p>Eventually, Charlie’s tired brain rested. Being awoken an hour later from the pilot announcing, they would be touching down in Phoenix soon. When she got off the plane, she felt a little relieved to be away from the hiding, thinking no one would find her in Arizona. Except, when she left the airport and waited outside for a Lyft, she was yet again spotted. They were quiet but gawking. She saw them taking pictures and she just ran back in and hid. <strong><em>Are you fucking kidding me?! How the hell did they find me here?! </em></strong>Once her ride arrived, she hopped into the car, thinking there would be peace and assuming it was just a fluke.</p><p>When she got home, Charlie knew for sure someone tipped where she lived and possibly, when she would be landing, judging by the questions they were directing at her when she got to her development. Asking where Jensen was and if he would be in Arizona before her mother’s wedding in two weeks or if Jensen would be attending with her. As she finally walked onto her property, she was thankful they couldn’t go past the front gates without access.</p><p>Finally getting home and calling her mother, accusing her, but Beth admitted to indulging in the calls and conversations that came in, once people recognized Charlie and made the connection. However, she never confirmed who was coming or provided anyone specific information to anyone. Charlie didn’t even tell her mother about everything until Friday, when she had to confirm her plus one. She told her last minute intentionally, thinking it would avoid something, but obviously she was wrong.</p><p>When Charlie settled in for a bit at home, people from her country club, where her mother would be holding the wedding and reception, began contacting her. Offering complimentary expanded services because of all the business and recognition the club was getting. Eventually learning, through contacts at the club, that Francis, her brother, gave the tip after their mother told him Charlie would be bringing her boyfriend to the wedding. Francis already being aware of who Charlie was dating. She also told him when Charlie was landing back in AZ. So, he tipped thinking Jensen would be with her.</p><p>After finding out, Charlie was livid. She felt outraged and disrespected. This obviously caused some tension between Charlie and the rest of the family as they all denied Francis did it, including Francis. Especially, further learning he made money and attempted to get gulf club privileges because it brought the club some recognition. Especially when acknowledged Jensen was a golfer.</p><p>What Francis didn't realize was, his ability to have the free membership was based solely on the fact that the club president, manager, and executive committee had relationships and partnerships with Charlie, Charlie's Uncle Ronny, and Charlie's father when he was alive. He worked at the club for a time as a manager before he died. The country club was Charlie's first job. Over the years, she kept her membership and made donations for networking purposes. She also assisted in annual tournaments and fundraisers the club participated in. Her association to the club, far outweighed Francis’s.</p><p>When she found everything out, she spoke to the manager and went up the chain of command. Charlie made sure Francis was only allowed to attend the wedding. All other privileges were revoked completely.</p><p>After dealing with the drama, Charlie sat on the phone with Jensen. Pushing him not to attend the wedding after all.</p><p>“Just go to Texas. Be with your daughter. I really don’t want you tangled in this drama. I don’t want my brother and whoever to win.”</p><p>“I know, babe. But I, we, planned everything so I could be with you that weekend. Knowing you’re going to be getting even more attention than either of us is comfortable with, I’d really rather be there with you. I’m gonna see JJ two weekends in a row. Then a few off then the holiday break. It’s okay, Charlie. I can take a weekend for you. You’ve come to me plenty.”</p><p>"I just feel bad." She pouts.</p><p>"I know. And we're going to have to talk more about it all cause-“</p><p>Just as Jensen was about to say he had to go back to work, he hears a door slam and someone screaming on the other end of the phone.</p><p>
  <em>“Are you kidding me Charlie! You got my membership revoked!?"</em>
</p><p>“Oh, god,” Charlie let out as a sigh.</p><p>
  <em>"You think this is a game?! That's how I do my fucking business, you god damn brat!" Francis screamed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If you think you're just going to walk into my house and talk to me like that, you have another thing coming. Get the fuck out of my face!"</em>
</p><p>"Who the hell is that?" Jensen asked.</p><p>"My genetic parasite. I-I'll call you back."</p><p>"Are you gonna be okay?</p><p>"Yeah. I’ll be fine. Just let me call you back.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Charlie hangs up and turns her attention back to her brother. "What?"</p><p>"I just went to the club and was told my membership and all privileges have been revoked."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"Those are my fucking clients, Charlie! That's how I talk to them and network. How I make my living!"</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed, when you decided to go to the tabloids and throw me under the bus to get an upper hand with the club, you no longer needed my assistance on that front. Forgive me for misreading the situation. I just thought it would be okay to fuck with your livelihood as well. You know, since you felt the need to sell me out."</p><p>"Easiest five grand I ever made,” Francis spits. Spitefully confirming, knowing no one would believe her.</p><p>"And from the sounds of it, the last five-grand too. Get the hell out of my face.”</p><p>"Are you on the phone with him? You're fucking bankroller," Francis said, walking over to Charlie and forcefully grabbing her cellphone.</p><p>“Get off me! No, you better not-” Charlie tried to yell and stop him, but she was too late. Francis threw her phone against the wall so hard it left a knick on the material.</p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me? You just broke my damn phone?” Charlie yelled, walking over to the phone, seeing it still turned on, but the screen was completely smashed, and the corner was dented<strong><em>. Great.</em></strong></p><p>"Tell your boyfriend to buy you a new one. You fucking brat.”</p><p>“I’m a brat?!” she asked, almost appalled. “Me?! You’re having a tantrum about something you didn’t even deserve. They dealt with you for me! Everyone deals with you because of me!”<br/>
Charlie, in full rage, paced over to him, pulling at his coat to get into his pocket and grabbed his phone. He tried to stop her but she was quick and walked straight to her door. She stepped outside, telling him to leave one more time. When he refused, cursing and calling her more names, she threw the phone at his car windshield with excessive force. She could hear the impact as it cracked his windshield. "Get out of my house. Now. Take those five thousand dollars and buy a new phone, window, and country club you dipshit.”</p><p>Charlie walked to her door, pressing the alarm panic button and notifying the police.</p><p>"What the hell? You psycho! You just broke my windshield! I can't drive it around like that.”</p><p>"I don’t care. Now please get out of my house and take your piece of shit gas guzzler with you before I press this button for the cops. I'll say you are harassing me… because you are. And if you don't get that truck out of my driveway, I'm going to get it impounded. Should take the remainder of your few easy stacks. You had to be an asshole. You had to throw me under the bus because…what? You feel inferior? Oh I forgot, I’m a heartless brat that has everything handed to her. Yes, I revoked your club privileges. Privileges you got because of me. My pity for you. And when poor sweet Arny heard what a low-life piece of shit you are, selling out your sister and making arrangements with the staff, he was all too quick to kick you to the curb. See how you survive in this fucking town without my name!”</p><p>"You're father's name, sweetie. Don't get it twisted."</p><p>"Oh, I don't. This is exactly why, as soon as your money-grubbing feet landed on this soil my ass was gone. I let you have your fun. Bye. Have fun getting help. See you at the wedding."</p><p>When he refused to leave, Charlie wasn’t surprised. Which is why she pressed the panic button minutes ago. When the cops came, she felt at ease when she realized she knew one of the officers because they went to high school together. The officers also knew of Francis due to his few arrests. Charlie caught up with them for a second, then explained everything that happened. Even her part. Being honest about everything, including what led up to the altercation. The officers agreed to let Francis drive home with his windshield busted, with an escort, and on the promise would get it fixed as soon as possible. If he was found without it fixed, he would be cited for an infraction. They also made him agree to stay away from Charlie’s house or he will be charged with destruction of private property and trespassing.</p><p>After everything was said and done, she found her old iPhone in her storage and called her carrier to switch services until she bought a new phone. And as soon as she could, Charlie called Jensen to let him know she was okay. She told him everything that happened and finally agreed to have him come down. Then called her mother, falling into another argument.</p><p>After a couple days, Charlie needed to distract herself and stay out of the house. Away from the drills and strangers as they renovated the house. She decided to go shopping and pamper herself. Trying to completely shut out the world and be free of stress while she can. Later in the day, when she was finally home alone and relaxing, her phone went off, informing her she had a text. When she looked to see who it was, she froze.</p><p> </p><p>Danneel: Hi. Sorry, I’m just getting back to you. My week got ahead of me, and I didn't want to blow you off when you called because I couldn't talk. Would it be possible to talk if I gave you a call sometime today?</p><p> </p><p>Charlie's heart dropped. She almost forgot she called Danneel. She thought Danneel just ignored her call and voicemail, and Charlie was okay with that. She kind of took it as, 'okay, don't have to have that awkward conversation.' When she heard her phone, she thought it was Jensen, responding to the raunchy photo she took of herself, with her new phone, when she got home from the lingerie store earlier. But he was on location and wouldn't have access to his phone much. She thought maybe Jared texted because they were going back and forth about a shirt collaboration or even Maggie. But it wasn't any of them… it was Danneel. She almost didn’t know what to say. She held off texting immediately back so Danneel didn’t think she was waiting by the phone or had no life. <strong><em>Why do I care what she thinks?!</em></strong></p><p> </p><p>Charlie: Hi! No worries. Thanks for texting back. You can call me any time today. I’m not too busy. Please feel free to call.</p><p>Danneel: Awesome. Should be free in about an hour. I'll give you a call then. Talk to you soon.</p><p>Charlie: Sounds good.</p><p> </p><p>She closed out the new thread and went over to Jensen’s but stopped herself. She didn't want to sike herself out. After she got home from Toronto and dealing with the paps, Charlie told Jensen she spoke to Vicki. She also admitted the confusion she was having. Since then, she felt a small divide with Jensen, but it wasn’t just her. It was him too. She knew telling him she would be talking to Danneel would stress him more than telling him she already talked to her. So, Charlie held her tongue and hoped the pictures at least brightened his day.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: Happy Hump Day babe. Miss you. ;)</p><p>[Sexy pictures of Charlie in very revealing lingerie. Posing seductively while biting her lip.]</p><p> </p><p>The pictures, perfectly orchestrated in all the ways that would drive him crazy, but he was thousands of miles away and couldn’t touch her. Charlie smiled to herself as she looked them over again, then went about her day. While she was driving to the club to meet her mother for last minute wedding related things Charlie didn’t care for, Danneel called her. And just before she pressed accept on her Bluetooth, she took a couple deep breaths and said, “Hello?”</p><p>"Hi, it's Dee."</p><p>"Oh, Hi.” <strong><em>Oh, hi? </em></strong></p><p>"Nice to finally speak, I guess," Danneel said with a chuckle.</p><p>“Yes. Thank you for calling me back. I’m sure your busy. I just wanted to touch base and see If I could treat you to lunch or dinner when I’m in Texas. Whatever works for you. And we could chat or just eat.” Charlie nervously laughed.</p><p>“That would be great.” Danneel laughs back. “How long will you be in Texas?”</p><p>"Just that weekend. Landing Thursday and leaving Monday after the meeting."</p><p>"Oh, okay. Well, I’ll be in Austin those few days leading to the meeting we have set for you. Jensen’s gonna have JJ as well. I’m free Friday night and Sunday Morning. Whatever works.”</p><p>"I'll let you have your free mommy Friday. Sunday morning works fine. Just let me know when's a good time for you, and we can go from there."</p><p>“That works. I’ll get back to you on that. If that’s okay.”</p><p>"Totally. Yes. I appreciate you even meeting with me. So, thank you."</p><p>“Oh, no. Girl, trust me. I get it. The two of them are a hand full.” Charlie falls silent. “How are things? With you two …”</p><p>"Good, they're great."</p><p>"Listen. I know I'm technically still Jensen's wife and were supposed to be like mortal enemies and all. I also know this is your way of understanding everything. I’m not gonna say this isn’t awkward and a little against the grain for me, but I appreciate you trying to be respectful of me and mindful of our daughter, so I can extend you the same courtesy. I know me and Jensen have a past, and I also know he had to move on from me… there isn’t any ill will or whatever. I made my bed, I guess. I’m fully on board with you joining the team. I totally support the two of you. Wherever that goes. Meeting you will just ease this little awkwardness between us.”</p><p>"I agree. Thank you."</p><p>“Kind-of excited, if I might add. I think you'll be a great addition. Feel free to call or text me. I might get caught up, but I'll try to respond when I can." Danneel chuckles.</p><p>"Thank you. You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that."</p><p>"Before my six your-old disturbs me because I see her running this way," Danneel chuckles again, “I’ll let you go. I’ll get back to you on a time.”</p><p>"Yeah, sounds great. Thank you again. I hope you have a great night."</p><p>"You as well, Charlie. Glad we finally talked. Take care."</p><p>When Danneel hung up, Charlie only just became aware that she drove all the way to the Country club and parked without even remembering any of it. Having been so lost in what to say or what she was saying during the call, she blindly drove. She had to take a few breaths to calm herself. Shaking the jitters off.</p><p>“Holy shit, I just spoke to Danneel Ackles.” Charlie deeply and loudly inhaled and exhaled as she calmed herself. "Well. That just happened."</p><p><strong><em>Now, all there is, is to tell Maggie.</em></strong> As Charlie thought, her text tone went off again. She giggled for a second, almost feeling nervous, but who else would be texting her, she already spoke to Danneel. When she looked, it was Jensen.</p><p> </p><p>Jensen: GOD. DAMN. You’re killin’ me. We are so facetiming later. Prepare to wear that.</p><p>Jensen: For a short time, anyway.</p><p>Charlie: I can’t tell your tone over text…Was that a command? 😛</p><p>Jensen: Definitely. YES. WEAR. THAT. TONIGHT.</p><p>Charlie: Boo. 😒 I was supposed to ‘show’ you options. I need to know what to wear with my bridesmaid’s dress.</p><p>Jensen: No. That.</p><p>Charlie: You know… the dress that literally requires almost no underwear.</p><p>Jensen: Wait, are the others less revealing?<br/>
Charlie: Maybe… 🙃</p><p>Jensen: Oh, how I Miss you...</p><p>Charlie: ❤️</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.😷<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. No Ordinary Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You little whore! I knew it! I fucking knew it." Maggie yells over facetime as Charlie finally comes clean about everything. She went into detail about her extracurricular activities with Jensen. Jensen's extracurricular activities with Misha and Vicki. Misha and Vicki's agreement, but leaving out the separation and marriage details. Since it wasn't Charlie's business to tell. Also ending with the earth-shattering and positively mind-melding orgasm she had weeks ago that literally made her cry. The one she also hasn't been able to stop thinking about since it happened. Charlie admitted everything, including whatever it was involving Misha and her recent conversations with ‘the wives.'</p><p>“You literally have no idea how good it feels to just tell you!”</p><p>“I fucking knew it! I told you! That man had to have some experience or pent-up sexual energy. Ahhhh! My Charlie isn’t a wee baby anymore. She’s moved onto the big leagues. I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>“Our friendship is so messed up that this is actually comforting. While also making me nervous about telling you. You can't do the inside jokes and side comments or whatever it is that you do. I will kick your ass.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll be good. I’ll be good. I’m just... I don’t know. Like, shocked. While also being somewhat validated because I totally called this shit.”</p><p>“Congratulations. He’s a man. Does he get a metal?”</p><p>"Shit, from what you're tellin' me, uh, yeah…he does.”</p><p>“It’s bad. I mean, it’s like sooooooo good that I can't think straight, Mags. And now... with Misha..."</p><p>“I get it. But I also kinda think you’re playing the fence because your mind has already been made up.”</p><p>“What? No...it-it’s not that... it’s just-“</p><p>“You’ve probably been willing to fuck Misha as long as Misha has wanted to fuck you?”</p><p>“I don’t want to fuck Misha! And I don’t know if Misha wants to fuck me. I don’t know anything.”</p><p>“Because you won’t allow yourself to, because it will just validate what you’re trying to ignore. It doesn’t bother you that Jared knows. You had to know that he knew. They’re all boys…men. It comes with the territory. Especially with as close-knit as they are."</p><p>“I know...but-”</p><p>“It bothers you that Jared knows because it makes it more real. You can’t ignore it or brush it under the rug.” Charlie falls silent as her heart dropped. Sitting on the other end of the phone, staring off to the road, trying to remember and replay every conversation she had with Misha since day one. “Charlie, I'm not saying you have the hots for Misha, or you’re cheating on Jensen. I probably would have picked up on that. However, you two are close. But, in like a, he’s your gay best friend or something.” Maggie laughs.</p><p>“That sounds horrible. He’s not gay… he’s bi. He’s my best bi-friend. No-wait shit, your my best bi-friend.”</p><p>"I know. I know. But I just mean, your comfortable with Misha. And I think because of how Jensen is with Misha, you've just learned to be the same way. And maybe over time he saw you the same. I just think you accepted the possibility a long time ago and have been rolling with the punches ever since. Part of who you are is that you're too understanding. I think that's the Psychologist in you. You look at every aspect of everything and your reason with yourself as to why it's okay. You try to understand from another's perspective. As much as I hate and love it sometimes, you always try to look at the good in people. I’m not saying everything that happened with Jensen before you wasn’t okay or that it was okay. But I do think maybe, and I could just be assuming here, when Jensen informed you of <em>everything.</em>.. you said you knew. Off the bat.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Why? …like, why did I know? Or how?”</p><p>“Both.”</p><p>"I don't know. Their relationship. Their behavior. What I learned and what I knew about them. I felt a sense that Jensen was, maybe ashamed of some of what he did. With Danneel and with Misha. Even Vicki. I saw his apprehension and need for me to say it was okay."</p><p>“But was it okay? We’re you honestly okay with it?”</p><p>Charlie thought long and hard. “Yes. It’s really doesn't bother me what he did. Just the awkward occurrences I have to deal with after. Having to make my place in it all."</p><p>“So, knowing he fucked Misha. Knowing he shared his wife and Misha’s wife... you put two and two together?”</p><p>“Yes. Kinda like… old habits die hard.”</p><p>“Okay. So, hear me out here... what if... and this is an <em>if</em>... what if maybe, in accepting Jensen and everything that came with him, you also accepted the possible avenues the two of you could take. If you thought about it, were okay with it, and you've let yourself go this far without it being an issue. Maybe you settled with your decision then. And now you just confused because you feel that you shouldn't feel that way.” Charlie's heart began to race as Maggie's words sink in. <strong><em>Oh, my god.</em></strong> “I don’t think talking to me or Danneel <em>or Vicki,</em> for that matter, is going to help you. You need to talk to Jensen and Misha. But mostly, you need to have a good honest, raw conversation with Jensen. Some make or break shit, none of this placating crap to appease everyone. You're preaching to him about honesty. I think you need to be honest with yourself. Stop trying to make everyone happy, Charlie. This is you and Jensen. Not you, Jensen and Danneel. Or you, Jensen and Misha. I know I haven't been around, and I'm sorry. This balancing shit is hard. I’m sorry you felt you had to keep this from me. But I understand as well, and I know you. You are a very open-minded person. You're doing good. You're at a point in your relationship where you two are finding a place, and maybe that place is being threatened but, if you overcome it, that's powerful."</p><p>Charlie finally arrived at her house, pulling into her drive way and parking in front of her garage, sitting silent for a time. “What do I do? About…”</p><p>Maggie laughed out loud. "Oh, girl. I would go to town on both of them. Sorry. I know that’s your boo. But that's just me. I don't see the world as you do."</p><p>Charlie smiled at her friend, knowing that's exactly what she would do. "Can I be honest? Like, I'm slightly ashamed, but I'll admit it..."</p><p>“More than what you just told me?!”</p><p>“It involves you...”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Charlie whines with a laugh, not wanting to tell her friend but knowing it would bother her if she didn't. "I just tried to wrap my head around it. I think your right. When I found out, I didn't care, but it was just also... it's wasn't a typical relationship dynamic, you know. And I didn't wanna lose him. Because I didn't know if I could ever be that, and that could kinda mean he would walk away. I mean, probably not, but it crossed my mind and it scared me. "</p><p>“Charlie, you know he would ne-”</p><p>“I do. But everyone keeps acting like I do this all the time. Like controlling how you feel and what you think is easy. I've been in two relationships my whole life, and neither of them were healthy. And I know Jensen and I have some baggage, but he's a great man. Hands-down. I can work around him. He deserves that."</p><p>“Okayyyyyyy?”</p><p>“When it came to Misha… I tried to put myself in his shoes. Like to have his best friend and wife together. Like, what would that be like…. What exactly is the appeal? Because even though he said it was only with Dee, I knew he had to have curiosity, and when I further found out about him and Misha, I kinda loved it. So, for a second... just for a second... I thought about -“</p><p>“Me and Jensen?” Maggie said flatly.</p><p>“Oh, god. Don’t say it out loud.”</p><p>“Sorry, you were beating around the bush.”</p><p>“God, I miss you.”</p><p>Maggie laughs, “Why? Cause I’m the only person who knows your stupid ass?”</p><p>“In and out... Yes!”</p><p>"So, you thought about Jensen and me, huh?"</p><p>"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! And I felt like shit because it's you, but it... kinda made me get it. you know?"</p><p>“Ohhhh, so you like the idea of me fucking your boyfriend?”</p><p>“Ehhhh, no. More of the idea of my boyfriend fucking you.” Charlie chuckled.</p><p>“Is there really a difference?” Maggie said with a laugh.</p><p>"HA! Trust me, there's a difference. I follow his lead, and I just let him go to work. It's the very definition of sweet, <em>sweet </em>surrender.”</p><p>Maggie nervous laughs, and Charlie could hear the apprehension behind it. “I’m sorry! I told you, he does things to me.”</p><p>"Good things, apparently."</p><p>“This isn’t some invite. I just... needed to-“</p><p>“I know. It’s cool.” Maggie laughs again. “I’m not stressing it... I get it. Trust me.”</p><p>“What is he doing to me?”</p><p>Maggie laughs. “Uhhh. That's a hard question to answer. I don't think he's changing you. I think he's awakening you. You've always had this little freak and finesse. You've always been badass. How could you be my friend and not be? But you just never had confidence, Charlie... that's what he's giving you. I don't think 'old Charlie' would have done these things because old Charlie would never be comfortable with it. Constantly thinking others would judge her or that she wasn't good enough. I love Jensen because he brings out the best in you. And I know that's a process, and it may hurt, but all the little parts of you that I love, he brings them out. I'm not surprised Misha’s infatuated or whatever... that either of them are. You’re fucking beautiful, Charlie. Inside and out. I can just imagine what you can do to these men or the fucking world when allow yourself the freedom in knowing that. You are the trifecta. Brain, beauty, and boobs.”</p><p>"Thanks."  Charlie laughed. “Jensen said, when I allow myself to be... I can be very... cunning.”</p><p>Maggie laughs. "Yes. And it’s true. On top of all <em>that...you</em> have an amazing soul…but at the end of the day, only you can see that... to live out your potential. Jensen sees that. Misha sees that. When you took this job... you evolved. He shook the shell that you were away. And now you're a beautiful little butterfly who's about to be good and fucked by two of the sweetest and cutest and well-respected actors in the business. You're not in a bad place."</p><p>“I love that you just say it so matter-of-factly. I am not going to do it.”</p><p>"I would argue with you, but... okay."</p><p>"Listen, maybe you're right. Maybe I do want it. Maybe I've always wanted it. But...to do… it is completely different. That's a level of power I'm not sure I want to give Jensen...yet. Or both of them for that matter. I’ve been cool so far because I feel like it’s been a balance. I guess that's also the reason I thought of you… as like…”</p><p>“You want me to be a buffer?”</p><p>"No! Nevermind.”</p><p>“No. What? Now I wanna know.”</p><p>"I guess… I just wanted to…level the playing field...Oh. My god, I just said that."</p><p>“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.” Maggie giggled.</p><p>“I’m sorry!”</p><p>"No. You're fine. I think I kinda love you a little more now."</p><p>“Fuck you.” She laughed.</p><p>The rest of the time in Arizona, Charlie kept her head down. She helped her mother with the last touches of the wedding. Keeping her distance and just waiting for it all to be over. She also pretended not to go crazy with the house renovations. So, she tried to keep herself busy. Knowing it would only be a couple more weeks, and she could finally put the house on the market.</p><p>As the days went on, Charlie felt more at ease. Better. Her conversation with Jared, no longer looming too hard on her. The anxiety of talking to Vicki and Danneel, over. Apart of her questioned their sincerity, but also just didn't give a fuck. She was in a good place with all that. She wanted to leave it behind her. Leaving her just counting the moments she could be with Jensen again.</p><p>When Friday before the wedding came, Charlie was bouncing in her seat at the nail salon and tailors as she waited to pick him up. She spent all day Thursday stocking her fridge with Arizona craft beers and making sure his few days there would be good. Finally having Jensen visit her home for once, and she was excited.</p><p>Jensen finally landed in Phoenix Friday afternoon. After flying to LA Thursday night to have a meeting with some execs early the next morning. He then flew to Arizona immediately after. Charlie even went so far as to get him a car escort from the airport. Since they would be going to the country club for the rehearsal dinner, she wanted them to have some privacy.</p><p>Once Jensen got into the SUV, Charlie charged right at him, her lips on him instantly. Jensen kissed her back, making her straddle him. The two kissing and feeling one another until they had enough.</p><p>“Miss me, huh?” Jensen asked with a big smile.</p><p>“Mmm, so much.” She smiled. Pushing him back against the seat and kissing him again. Diving her tongue into his mouth, not allowing him to control the kiss. Jensen lets out a heavy moan as she moved over him. Feeling at ease under her. Charlie pulls out of the kiss, biting down on his bottom lip with her teeth as she pulled away, making Jensen moan.</p><p>“Sooo,” Charlie smiled.</p><p>“Sooo?” Jensen repeated back.</p><p>“We’re going straight to the club for the rehearsal and dinner, which starts at five. Until then, I'm all yours."</p><p>"Oh, what will I do with you?" Jensen said, diving his face into her neck, kissing her skin. “I need sustenance though?”</p><p>“What are you in the mood for?”</p><p>Jensen smiled, catching the double meaning in her words. “Whatever you want.”</p><p>Charlie smiles and slides off of him. Sitting in her seat as the driver got back into the car. "Well, I have your steak dinner and stuff set for later tonight. We can stop by someplace on the way to hold you over. We have plenty of time."</p><p>“This is your terrain.” Jensen smiled. Giving her a sweet kiss on her lips. “What about that seafood sushi place you were talking about?”</p><p>"Oh, yay, Rock Lobster,” turning to face the front of the car. “Towards Chandler, please, Doc.”</p><p>"You got it, Kid," the driver, replied.</p><p>At the restaurant, Charlie and Jensen sat outside, under canopies and shade for some privacy. Jensen bites into a fried sushi appetizer Charlie made him try.</p><p>"What's this called again?"</p><p>"A Cowboy/Cowgirl." Charlie giggled.</p><p>”Love it.” Jensen laughed then watched Charlie intently.</p><p>"What?" she asked with a chuckle.</p><p>“Are we gonna talk about it?”</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"Everything? Preferably before we go and deal with your-"</p><p>"Crazy family."</p><p>“I didn’t say that.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to,” Charlie said back, feeling shitty. “There isn’t anything to say.”</p><p>"You spoke to Vicki."</p><p>"Oh, that."</p><p>"Yes, that."</p><p>“And Danneel.” Jensen looked at her serious. He didn’t know that. “I just needed… clarification or something.”</p><p>"So you went to them? And didn’t even bother to tell me.”</p><p>"I knew you would find out. As you did. And they were the last piece of the puzzle."</p><p>"What puzzle?"</p><p>"You. Misha. Everything."</p><p>"I told you-"</p><p>"No. You told me what you and him were comfortable with telling me. Constantly making me feel like I was being kept in the woods about something. Or late to the Misha and Jensen show. You’re fine in what and where you are with me because you knew what to expect.”</p><p>“And you don’t know what to expect with me?”</p><p>"If I’m being honest. No. I don’t.” Jensen nods and looks out at the road as they sat outside "Are you really upset with me? When you kept everything about Misha from me? I didn’t get pissed.”</p><p>“Right. You got distant.”</p><p>"Oh. I’m so sorry finding out your…whatever, wants…whatever and it kinda threw me for a loop. Forgive me!" She looked around, not wanting to say it out loud.</p><p>"Maybe this isn't the best time to talk about this specifically," Jensen said. Clearly annoyed. Charlie nodded, annoyed as well. The two sat in somewhat silence as they ate. Making small talk but not feeling it.</p><p>When they got to the club, there were a few scouters outside wanting to get pictures of them, but luckily, they were in a black-tinted SUV. Charlie introduced Jensen to everyone she knew. Including the manager and president. All of which extending pleasantries and privileges during his stay. Jensen, of course, flourishing and making friends amongst the crowd as Charlie stood by his side smiling. Jensen, never letting her out of his sight or grasp.</p><p>Before the rehearsal ceremony, Charlie finally introduced Jensen to her mother, Beth. He was a gentleman, of course. Ignoring the giant elephant in the room, that was Charlie against her family. Jensen met Francis as he was by his mother's side, and the two firmly shook each other's hands while giving a death stare. Jensen even met Trixie, the maid of honor and Charlie's sister. The female Francis, if you will. He also met her husband and kids. Trixie was all smiles and giggles when Jensen was around, but when they weren't, she dragged Charlie's name through the mud. When people asked about Jensen and the two of them, she spread her own truth. But Charlie knew and didn't care. She knew the truth, her truth. She didn't care what her mother’s friends or whoever thought. They wouldn't have the friends and connections they did if it wasn't for her. And as much as everyone keeps their. acts with the Rosi’s, they are more loyal to the Maeson’s, or more, loyal to the business. So she didn’t worry about tabloid leaks from them. She knew she would always be the bad guy, and she accepted that. Allowing herself to have the luxury of knowing, in the end, it was envy, jealousy, and self-loathing on their parts.</p><p>For the rest of the night, Charlie showed Jensen around to the few people she actually liked. Old partners and colleagues of her father. Among those also being Maggie's mother, Aster. Maggie was there to introduce them, but she was also the event photographer, so she couldn't hang around them long. Charlie would ever so often leave Jensen's side to go talk to her, letting him have his freedom to mingle. However, Jensen very much enjoyed meeting and finding where Maggie gets her vibrant and vivacious personality. Aster was all over Jensen and raving about how Charlie was a beautiful, caring, smart, and fertile woman with proper curves to bare a child, and Jensen would be an idiot not. Adding she deserved a gorgeous looking man such as him. Making constant jokes about the two of them as a couple and how cute they were. Completely embarrassing Charlie, and even Jensen at times, but also giving them a laugh. <strong><em>Like mother like daughter. </em></strong></p><p>During the rehearsal ceremony, Charlie stayed with Jensen until she had to walk with her partner down the aisle. Mainly, just giving her the support she needed. When they were together, Jensen made sure to keep her close as he ever so often saw Francis look over at them in discontent. Jensen even gave him shooting glares when Charlie wasn't looking. He sat by when Charlie did her rehearsal, and as she walked down the aisle with the groom’s son, and smiled at her little wink when they stood beside the altar.</p><p>During the dinner, they kept to themselves. Avoiding the glancing and gawking. Entertaining light conversation with those who were interested in Jensen, but mostly just talking and laughing to themselves. Occasionally Maggie would come by to chat between pictures, catching up, and making plans with Charlie for the morning until she was pulled away.</p><p>After the dinner, when it was acceptable to leave, Charlie and Jensen were more than relieved to get home. As they left, Jensen thanked the manager and team for their hospitality. He even agreed to shoot a few holes in the morning while Charlie did her bridesmaid thing. When they got to Charlie’s driveway, seeing it was a gated home, Jensen was enthralled at her house. It wasn’t too expansive, more than Jensen expected, but a decent size. It had a Mediterranean style to it, as most houses did in Arizona. It laid on top of a small hill which made it possible to overlook the mountains and canyons. Which Jensen saw from the driveway, and it was a beautiful view at night.</p><p>Charlie took Jensen to her guest house first. It was a completely renovated guest house. The feel was bohemian and mellow, with every single touch of Charlie. Awards and pictures, books upon books all around, and art so nicely placed. This is apparently where Charlie spent her time when she came home over the years. She showed Jensen the inside of the house. The look was more modern and chic. Eventually ending with her father’s soundproof music room in the back of the guest house.</p><p>"So what? He came here at night and rocked out while you were asleep?" Jensen asked walking, around to the instruments hanging or placed about in cases or shelves. A grand piano set in the corner of the room. Violins, guitars, and a cello are set about. <br/>Charlie watched him intently. Resting against the doorway as he explored, not really wanting to go in. "Wouldnt say rocked." She laughed. "He did classical...orchestra. Some blues towards the end. But, probably."</p><p>"So, he left all of this to you?” he asked, picking up the Gibson guitar in front of him. “or have you added-"</p><p>"Nope. All his. I wanted to show you before it all gets perfectly packed away and put in storage.” She said, as Jensen looked over one of the guitars picking it up. “That's a custom 1960 Gibson. Formerly owned by guitar legend 'Matt Guitar Murphy' from The Blue's Brothers."</p><p>Jensen looked wide eyed at her, "Yeah. I'm gonna put this down now." He said, placing the guitar gingerly back on its stand. Charlie laughed at him. "How much is this room worth?" Jensen asked, intrigued.</p><p>Charlie chuckled. "A lot. I don't come in here that often. I'm the only one allowed too. Guest house is sort of... off-limits." Charlie stepped forward, walking over to the piano. Taking a seat and watching him again.</p><p>"Guess I can understand that. Wouldn’t trust anyone with all this either."</p><p>"Yeah, the walls are reinforced, sound and fireproof. Can't get in without a code."</p><p>"Jeez. He wasn't playing. Was he?"</p><p>She chuckled. "The security system was me. The proofing was for acoustics mainly. The main house is made of clay, which is good for insolating sound, but the guest house wasn't, and I was a curious kid."</p><p>Jensen looked over at Charlie. She was looking at a picture that rested on the ledge next to the piano. The picture showed little Charlie and her father playing the violin when she was a kid. "How old were you?" he asked, seeing the photo.</p><p>She shook her head, trying to clear the memories she just got lost in. "Umm, six, I think. That was Easter right before my seventh birthday. I remember the dress vividly.”</p><p>“He started you off young.” Jensen chuckled.</p><p>She smiles. "Yeah. It's a family tradition, I guess. His mother taught him and his siblings. Her father taught her and so on." She said, looking at him.</p><p>Jensen looked closer at the photo, recognizing the violin Charlie was holding and turning around to see it across the room in a case. "So I guess this one is yours?" Walking over to it, wanting to touch it but stopped himself.</p><p>Charlie smiled. "You can touch it." Jensen picked it up, feeling its weight and size. "And yes. That one is mine." Jensen looked over at the other two set on the shelf. Those were slightly bigger in size and different in design.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Why don't you play anymore? Like… why do you avoid it like the plague? Aside from your favorite songs or artists, which you're actually pretty passionate about. You love music, but you don't really talk about that part of yourself."</p><p>Charlie looked blindly at the instrument in his hand. She stood up, walking over to him and resting her head on his shoulder for a second, thinking. Jensen kissed her head as she lightly grazed the instrument and lightly took it out of his hand. Skimming the strings and feeling that familiar touch. Remembering the callused fingers tips it caused from constant practicing and the years of manicures and trying to remove them. She grabbed the bow, placing the violin between her shoulder and chin, getting it positioned, and began playing. The tune didn't sound familiar to Jensen, but it was beautiful, and he knew she was playing something. Watching her as she closed her eyes and worked the bow and her fingers naturally. He could see her lost in a moment, a memory, lost in time. But then Charlie abruptly stopped, opening her eyes and holding in everything it made her feel.</p><p>“What were you playing?”</p><p>She took a deep breath. “Bach…” she said, then placed the bow back in the case. “It just doesn't bring me freedom anymore.” She put the violin back in Jensen's hands. “I can't really explain why. I'm sure when you write or play, you do it because it incites positivity, expression, or helps you tune out. Something. I just feel… anxious.”</p><p>Jensen put the violin back on the stand and moved in to hold her, lifting her face to his so he could look into her eyes. “Talk to me.”</p><p>Charlie lifted her hand to cup his face and began grazing her thumb over his lip. “I never wanted to play. I hated him for making me. And when I got older, I stopped. I decided to do my own form of expression. And when that happened… I disappointed him. So, I did band and choir to…please him, I guess. But I was a teenager, and all I ever thought and saw was how much he controlled me and how much he belittled my interests. When you lose a parent at the age I did… you’re a child. You can’t understand the world, and you can’t understand what it’s like to be a parent. When he got sick…I stopped all of it. Only played when he asked me... and he would ask a lot. It calmed him. I thought maybe if I got accepted into art school… maybe I would feel okay to pursue that part of myself. But when he died…"</p><p>"You walked away completely."</p><p>"I don't avoid <em>it</em>. I avoid him. And I know I was a kid. I was a child, and I needed to grow up. But as I grew up, that regret grew stronger. Because the more and more I grew, the more and more I understood. And the more and more I realized… I was a brat. And then finding out everything he left for me." She had to take a breath. "I owe everything I am to him and I never got to say thank you. Not really." Charlie's eyes begin to tear. "He never got to see… all of this." She gestures to the house, but he knows she means her and everything she built for herself outside of the house. “Me. I used to come in here a lot. I set it up like this. But after a while… I-I just couldn’t.”</p><p>"What was his name again?”</p><p>“Silas.”</p><p>“Well, I'm sure <em>Silas</em> would be proud.”</p><p>Charlie smiles as Jensen used her father's name. "I know. I know that." She nodded with a smile. "But that doesn't make me feel better. Doesn't make it easier. And after he died, I ran to my mother, for… guidance and validation and… that just pushed me farther away from the memory of him. She got sick for a time, and I couldn’t take care of her. I-I chose not to take care of her. I chose myself. I stayed in school and made something of myself. And I regretted it.”</p><p>"So you gave her the house."</p><p>"Yeah. And Francis followed. Trixie, too, for a time. I know I’m stupid to deal with them but…”</p><p>"They're your family."</p><p>"I would never forgive myself if I just didn't give a shit. That's not my nature. So I stay far away from them, but I make sure my mom is okay. And I let my brother and sister treat me like shit because I know… no matter what or who I am, I’m better than them. I will never stoop to their level. And maybe that is a shitty thing to think…”</p><p>"No. It's not."</p><p>"After my dad died, thats when my uncle Ronny reached out to me. I knew him growing up but, he lived in Cali, and we lived here. He was my savior. He helped me like a father. His wife treated me like a daughter. They helped me with the house. Took my dad's money that I inherited, before I squandered it on everyone else but me. Put it into certificates and bonds for me until I was old enough to handle it all. Sometimes I think that's the only reason my mom sicks around...” She said really sad. Not looking at Jensen. “Anyway…They helped me, focus, go to school for the first couple years until I got on my feet… met a boy. Who they hated. But… I always felt like a burden to them, an obligation. Even though I knew I never was. They never made me feel that way. They followed my father's wishes for me… because my father wanted to make sure I was better than my sister and brother. They feed off my mother, my mother feeds off me. And if that's my life, then so be it. I don't have kids or a family. I don't have an excuse… they do. I’d rather be gullible and caring than cold-hearted and stingy. So, I gave her the house, and when she moved out, and Francis wanted the house in his name… things got worse with us. To them I’m privileged, and I was. My father gave me everything I could need. But I was a child. He also showed me discipline, and respect. When I got older, whatever I wanted, I worked for. I had my first job when I was fourteen. I got straight A’s all throughout school. Graduated with honors in high school and college. He molded me into someone I’m proud to be but… I was a kid I didn’t realize all this back then. He showed me the best of both worlds, privilege and hard work. But when he walked away from his dream of music, he could never allow himself to approve of my interest in art. To him, artists were different than musicians. He thought they never got the respect they deserved. Which is true.  He wanted more for me. He never wanted me to fall down that path.”</p><p>"So you never did."</p><p>"No. At the time I hated him for it. Because if he didn’t give me the okay, I couldn’t do it. Which is why I never did. And I know music doesn't fall into it. I know he would have loved me to have kept going with that, even as a hobby, but… it doesn't bring me peace. Music to him wasn't his job. It was his passion. It flowed through him, but life happened, and he lost that… just as I did when he died.”</p><p>"Why did he stop?"</p><p>Charlie looked at him, sorrow written on his face. "Me. He stopped because he had to raise me."</p><p>Jensen almost felt his heart break. “You’ve endured so much pain,” he said, looking down at her. Looking over her face. He couldn’t take it anymore and pressed his lips against Charlie's holding her there. Charlie was the first to move them and Jensen followed as he began pushing her out of the room. He closed the door behind him with his foot. Never leaving her lips once and pulled them both into the other area of the guest house.</p><p>Charlie pulled away to look at him. "I thought you were upset with me?" She asked.</p><p>"Not right now," Jensen replied, trying to kiss her again, but Charlie backed away.</p><p>"Jensen... we gotta stop avoiding shit."</p><p>Jensen signs. "I just want you. I don’t want the bullshit. I just want us."</p><p>"And that's the problem, Jensen."</p><p>"What is it, Charlie? Ever since you talked to Jared... and the whole Misha thing...it's like..."</p><p>"The whole Misha thing? The whole Misha-... I find out your best friend wants to fuck me, and I'm what? Overreacting?"</p><p>"No...But since then we haven't talked. And I know you don't like having these conversations over the phone, but... since Toronto, this feels different.” He gestures to the both of them. “And I don't know what that means. I almost don't want to know what that means."</p><p>"It doesn't mean anything. I've just needed to process."</p><p>"Process with me, Charlie. Talk to me. Not Vicki or Danneel. I know I agreed for you to talk to them but not when it comes to a divide between us."</p><p>"It wasn't about that. I never talked about any of that. I didn't talk at all. This is me trying to make a place in your life. You're a very complicated life. I needed someone outside of you and Misha and Jared to solidify how I felt."</p><p>"About us?"</p><p>"No. You."</p><p>Jensen seemed upset again, moving out of Charlie's touch. "Please don't be upset. I didn't tell you cause I didn't want you to be upset. I wanted to talk to you, but I don't know how to say what I need to say. I don't know how to let the words out. I needed something to solidify what I felt..."</p><p>Jensen looked at her, his eyes wide, almost fearful. "What is this, Charlie? Are you like pissed at me or do you not want this anymore?"</p><p>Charlie rolled her eyes. "No, Jensen." Taking his hands in hers and wrapping them around her. He was looking down at her serious, not knowing what she was going to say. "I never want to be away from you...I'm in love with you, you big, beautiful dum-dum."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Friday I’m In Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It’s only been a week since the last chapter was released, but I feel like it’s been forever.</p><p>Hope y'all enjoy PART II!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie finally said it. Everything that has been throwing her for a loop these past few weeks. All the feelings she was holding back. Jensen looked at her, letting her words settle in. His face and posture changed. He looked at her with a gentle confusion. His face slowly began to brighten, and a smile began to form.</p><p>"I've done everything I can do, heard everything I can hear, and spoke to everyone I can speak to. There is no uncertainty, Jensen. That's not what this was. I needed to find my place in all this, and I found it. But I'm here, Baby. I'm not going anywhere.”</p><p>Jensen stood, staring and silent for a moment. Almost as if he didn’t hear her right. His features, still glowing with happiness and taken back. Charlie smiled up at him. Knowing he was a little befuddled and wasn’t expecting that. She stepped closer to him, pressing her hands on his chest. "I'm in love with you, Jensen.” A big warm smile finally formed across his face, the words finally fully sinking in. "I love you…yuh big lug." She smiles up at him one more time. Then she moved up on her tippy toes to kiss his lips.</p><p>As their lips touched, Jensen finally reacted. Moving into her and holding her face to his, kissing her harder, and adding passion. Feeling the exhilaration it gave him to hear her say it. When he pulled away to look over her face, he smiled again. The smile and reaction was so beautiful and genuine. She knew he was so taken off guard, and that made it so much better.</p><p>Looking at him, Charlie almost fell in love all over again. “I love you too,” Jensen finally said. “Of course, I love you. How could I not? I just… I never knew if you could love me.”</p><p>“I know I’ve been weird since Toronto, or since Jared… because I realized I was in love with you. Everything… all the ups and downs and the moments… was just me unknowingly processing that. And when I had that little conversation with Jared… it just… sank in. He was talking about Danneel. And that always complicates shit for me because you two have Justice. And, I don’t know. I realized I was too deep to ever walk away. And what that means, and how complicated everything is. But then Misha, learning about what happened… we gotta talk about that… I mean, it’s not a make or break, but what the fuck Jensen? Like…what the fuck?” Charlie got serious now.</p><p>“I-I don’t even…” He took a deep breath and looked at her. “Before meeting you, Misha…” he smiled. “I knew what he knew about your experience and potential.”</p><p>"So he wanted me before we even met?"</p><p>"No. That's not-he does not <em>want</em> you. Well… not like that. It’s not about fucking you, Charlie. Or, like, were plotting some sex-crazed threesome. Again, I'm a man, my mind can think of some crazy shit, and sure maybe I've thought about it. And maybe Misha, but we’ve <em>never </em>talked about it. Do you honestly think I would even let that fly? Him talking to you day in and day out. You’re about to work at Random, working with him at a different level than I’m used to. Then let him be lost on you like that? I would make it known if it was like that. I wouldn’t like it. Danneel and Misha weren’t around each other much, and when they were, I was usually there. Sure, they talked. They were friends, but the level of communication between the three of you is different. Their dynamic is different. Danneel handles Random different. She has people doing her bidding, because it’s not her full-time job. It’s just a responsibility. Random is your job and after Supernatural, it will be Misha’s main focus for a while.” Charlie nodded more and had to agree. She knew that was Misha’s plan. “You and Misha… you’re different. You two separately as human beings are different, but Misha’s Misha. And if that would have been the case, you would have known it, and you know that. I know you have this concept of Misha and me but were simpler than you think. I am just my whole-hearted self with him. Sure, we fucked. And sure, I'd do it again, but I have nothing to hide with him. And Misha loves you. He respects you and adores you. Maybe a little too much but not in the… whatever it is you have in that head. I'm sure he's a man and has eyes. And for a time, a small-time, he looked at you like that.”</p><p>"Like what exactly? You're so vague about it. It just lets my imagination run wild!"</p><p>"Wild, huh?" he smirks at her. His eyes squinted, trying to read those dirty little thoughts.</p><p>“Jensen,” Charlie whines.</p><p>“Charlie, you also have to acknowledge the effect you have on men. Especially men who look for attributes that you have.”</p><p>"What effect on man?" Charlie asked, completely confused.</p><p>Jensen smiles. "You're amazing.” He said it like it was the most god honest truth he could ever speak. “And maybe you were fine in your little slice of the world, away from temptation and eyes but, you have to at least acknowledge that <em>you are</em> beautiful. You’re intelligent, resilient, you have a good sense of humor, and sensitive with a rich soul. You’re dedicated to helping others more than you are yourself. You're bright and happy. You put a smile on everyone's face. Always. Sure, you have your flaws. Who doesn’t? I know I do. Learning everything there is to know about you, who wouldn't fall in love with you? I know I just said the words… but I’ve been in love with you since that first night you controlled me. And I know it's a stupid moment, but… you were always <em>my </em>sweet little shy, Charlie,” Jensen said, grazing the back of his palm to her cheek, missing the heat and redness that used to appear when she would get nervous with him. "I have to say. I miss your cheeks. They used to tell me everything."</p><p>"They still do."</p><p>"Not as much. You're more comfortable with me, now." He looked into her eyes. "That night, you did something that was outside yourself. You let me in, in a way that I know very few have ever gotten with you. That's why… 'that Charlie' turns me on so much. It's not the sex or your sexy little ass that I love so much. That makes us crave one another… sex with you,<em> and for you</em>, is <em>your </em>purest form of intimacy. When you're in front of people, the world. Or when you're in work mode, you're different, in your head. And that's fine. That's me too, but you also doubt yourself. You're selective about sex. Who you have sex with, and when. Part of your attraction and love for me, is your ability to feel free with me. I also think that's a little true with Misha too. And then the next day, when I saw you talk to Lucas and Misha and I got jealous because I only ever want you to be mine, you accepted my jealous tendencies. You didn't get upset or standoffish. You understood. You were honest and patient with me. You've always been honest and patient with me. And I'm sorry if I constantly feel like your going to walk away, but I will always feel like you deserve the world, and I can never give you that."</p><p>“Ackles,” Charlie muttered, tears filling her eyes.</p><p>“I fell in love with you in the beginning, Maeson. You were like this gravitational pull, and I had to have you. Don't you see it? I won you. I don’t want to hide you to the world, but I understand why I have to. I want everyone to see your mine. And I don't mean to imply you're my property, but you were this beautiful, unexpected surprise. It's taken me some time to work through those feelings. Through, everything. You will always hold a part of me no one else will ever have, including Danneel. You pulled me from a dark place, and you showed me hope and life again. I was scared to lose that. I am still scared to lose that. But with Misha…" he sighed. "You have every right to be upset. But I'm trying to do good. I was also trying to not put more shit on you. Not yet. But I’m gonna just settle this once and for all.” Jensen reaches into his jean pocket, pulling out his phone.</p><p>"No. No. Don't call him," Charlie says with panic and holds Jensen's arm down.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because…were having a really good moment. I don't want to ruin it." She whined.</p><p>“What more can happen, Charlie? You wanna know?” She nodded. “This is how you know. Anything that comes out of my mouth is my view, and you’re going to still question it, and I'd rather not. I'm fine with you talking to Misha, but I think you need me to do it with you, so you know it's coming from both of us.”</p><p>Charlie knew he was right. She took a deep breath, pulled back, and nodded her head, telling Jensen to call. She sat on the bed, looking around and feeling anxious. When she began to hear the facetime ringing, her heart dropped. It was easy to face Misha pretending like everything was… normal. But the idea of asking him about <em>that </em>scared Charlie. She looked up at Jensen, fear written all over her face, and he couldn't help but smile. After Misha didn't pick up, he pressed the end button and squatted down to Charlie's eye view.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”</p><p>"It's Misha, Jensen."</p><p>"Oh. I know.”</p><p>"I know that you know. It's just…maybe I don't wanna know. You know? I'm not trying to pry or… overreact… I just-I-I didn't like the secrecy."</p><p>"I know-" as Jensen was about to respond, his phone goes off. They both looked and saw it was Misha. Jensen looked at Charlie, waiting for the okay, and she nodded.</p><p>“Yo, dude," Jensen said as he stood up and accepted the call.</p><p>“Hey, sorry. I was just ending a call when your facetime came up. What’s up?”</p><p>"Soo, I'm here with, Charlie." Jensen moved to sit down closely, next to her. Showing her on the screen. She smiled and waved but didn’t say ‘hi’, being too nervous.</p><p>“Hiya, Charlie. What’s goin’ on?” Charlie didn’t say anything, still off.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s being shy at the moment because she wants to, but doesn’t want to, have a conversation about you having the hots for her.”</p><p>Charlie smacks Jensen's arm really hard, "What the fuck, Jensen?!" She looks at him, appalled, and grabs the phone. "Hi, Mish."</p><p>When she looks at the screen, she immediately feels calm. Forgetting her apprehension and getting lost in Misha's peaceful angelic smile. <strong><em>How could I ever be upset with that face?! </em></strong>Charlie couldn’t be upset with him, and she wasn’t, but she felt conflicted.<strong><em> How am I supposed to feel here?!</em></strong></p><p>“Hey. You alright?”</p><p>“Okay, look. I don’t know. I just needed to… clear the air, or whatever. Because I can’t handle this weird fucking dynamic anymore." Both men get serious and look at Charlie as she speaks. "You two wanna do your… flirts, and…I don't know, boy fight. Feel free. But when it comes to me… shit with me. You come to me. I don't like secrets. And I understand some are better left unsaid, but when I constantly feel like there is some inside story or…whatever, I’m not a part of, it makes me nervous, and it makes me jump to conclusions. Then from those conclusions come reactions, and you don't wanna see me react! This sweet exterior is that… an exterior.” Jensen looked wide-eyed at Charlie as Misha smiled wide at the screen. "That being said. Misha, I love you, but not like that. And maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself, and I’m sorry. But Jensen is constantly beating around the bush about it, and I need all of this to go away. But I also… need to, like, know now.”</p><p>"As I said," Jensen began. "This wasn't some planned scheme. You happened. But you just so happened to happen… to both of us."</p><p>"What does that even mean?" she asked. Looking at Misha.</p><p>"It means Jensen wasn't the only one who was smitten by you in the beginning. Except-” Misha went.</p><p>“I chose Jensen,” Charlie finished.</p><p>"Yes." Misha finally answered. "But this wasn’t a, who can get the girl thing, you were always ‘off limits’ to put it in simpler terms, but… you and Jensen connected immediately.”</p><p>Charlie's face fell. That upset her.  She didn’t know what to expect, and to an extent, maybe she knew, but… hearing him say it, like that, hit hard. "Charlie. There isn't some strategy. There isn't some plan. We're not sex fiends," Jensen said. She giggled and pushed into him.</p><p>"But," Misha began. "Can't you, for a second, see why he kept this from you."</p><p>Charlie looked at Jensen. He was watching her, his face unreadable.</p><p>“Because the topic would conflict me,” she said, defeated.</p><p>"Yes. And how do you think it's going to feel to end this call and pretend like this conversation never happened?"</p><p>Charlie sighed like a disappointed child. "I'm not going to be able to let it go,” she responded almost with a pout, her tone very low. Talking down and not looking at Misha or Jensen.</p><p>“Charlie, before I met you, you were someone I admired. This is why everyone at Random has been pretty diligent about you joining the team. On top of that, I saw photos of you at galas, fundraisers, and whatnot."</p><p>"I didn't," Jensen added, trying to be funny.</p><p>“I knew enough about you, but when I met you. Excuse me, when <em>we</em> met you, you were captivating. You were shy and soft and the exact opposite of what I expected. What either of us expected. But you were knowledgeable, intelligent, quick, and very creative. But you have this side to you, where you’re also silly and levelheaded. I felt like, in every avenue of your life, especially when you fight for causes, you were loud and determined. So when I met you, and you were a quiet, bashful and lovely, everyday kind gal, I was a little smitten. But then there was Jensen,” he laughed, almost remembering the moment. “He was hooked. Like, I literally remember his reaction to you and how out of character he was for a moment. He was fixated on you. He saw something in you. Something I didn’t think Jensen would see in anyone besides Danneel. So I fell back and said nothing. And when Jensen confronted me about telling you everything, well, that’s when he found out. It wasn’t a proposition, but I had to be honest with my friend. Just like I knew this conversation would eventually come…”</p><p>"But Jared knew…”</p><p>“I didn’t tell him,” Jensen replied.</p><p>"Jared knows because he was the person I fell to when I couldn't tell Jensen. There wasn't a secret meeting or summit. There were moments here and there I questioned my intentions and I fell to Jared. For as short of a time, we've known each other, you've certainly stolen my heart, Ms. Meason, but you are nothing more than my soulfully gorgeous and kindhearted friend, that I will never cease to tell how wonderful and beautiful you are. And not physically, your energy, your aura, your personality. Everything that makes you, you, because I honestly don’t think you’ve heard it enough in your life. If I have to put a word on it, it may have been a slight crush.” Misha admits with a blush.</p><p>“Misha…” Charlie finally says.</p><p>“There are very few people in this world like you. I'm whole-heartedly grateful I-we met you.”</p><p>Jensen and Misha looked at Charlie, and her face was scrunched up like she was gonna cry. "Why did you have to say all that. I-I-" Charlie looks at Jensen and punches his arm.</p><p>“Ow. What the f-”</p><p>"You couldn't have just said that. Now all I wanna do is hung Misha, and he's like forever away."</p><p>"Oh, my god. You'll see him next week,” Jensen replied, rolling his eyes.</p><p>Charlie punches him again. "That's not my point."</p><p>“Why do you keep hitting me?!”</p><p>"Because you deserve it! You dick!”</p><p>Misha begins to laugh. “Be nice to him, Charlie. He doesn’t think with his top brain very often when it comes to you.” She giggles at his jab.</p><p>“Yeah, okay.” Jensen replies, giving him a serious ‘I’m gonna murder you face.’</p><p>Charlie then gives Misha a sad face again, “Misha. You’re so awesome. I love you. Can I say that?” She looked at Jensen for a second then back, not waiting for the answer. “I don’t care. I do. Can we be best friends?”</p><p>Misha begins to laugh at both Charlie’s sappy moment and her use of a relative quote. “Nice.”</p><p>"Okay. This is becoming too much for me to handle. You two are gross," Jensen says and grabs his phone.</p><p>“What?” Charlie asked.</p><p>"Mish, I'll call you tomorrow,” Jensen says to the screen, not paying Charlie any mind.</p><p>"What? No! I wanna talk to Misha!" Charlie whines as Jensen keeps the camera away from her. She sits crossed armed on the couch, pouting.</p><p>“Bye, Charlie!” Misha yells before Jensen hangs up.</p><p>“What are we five?” Jensen asked, amused.</p><p>“Douche,” she says and tries to stand up from her office couch.</p><p>"Oh, no, no. No, you don't. Come here, trouble-maker." Jensen grabs her waist and playfully slams her down on the super-soft couch across from her desk, trying to keep her down. He positions himself between her legs. Charlie laughs, squeezing him and feeling weightless at that moment. “We’re not done yet.”</p><p>Charlie giggles. "Hm. What is it I can do for you, Sir.”</p><p>Jensen smiled and lowered his head down to kiss her. "Are you okay? With what you just learned and <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Charlie looked his face over. "I think so.”</p><p>“That’s reassuring…Charlie. You wanted honesty. That was my whole ‘kit and caboodle’ as you so nicely put it before. If you want to move forward in a better place as a couple, communication is also key.”</p><p>“You’re guilty in that department, <em>Jensen.</em>”</p><p>"I know I am. And I promise to try and be better, but you need to as well. Stop pushing me away when things get hard or confusing. Just like you jump to conclusions and your mind fills the gaps, so does mine. I’m just better at hiding it.”</p><p>Charlie gave him a smile. "Yes, I am fine with it. I feel better about it…kinda.”</p><p>"Kinda?"</p><p>"Well, Misha was right. I'm-I’m gonna, like, think about it. But I’m also kinda feeling a lot right now. Not bad. Just… you. Stuff.”</p><p>"What stuff?"</p><p>"My family. My house. Starting a new job. Where I’m gonna live. Spending more time with you. And… I don’t know. I want to do something more.”</p><p>“More?”</p><p>"Yeah. Like, maybe I'll go back to school and finish my dissertation. Or, like actually allow myself to do things I like to do or always said I wanted to do."</p><p>“Like?” Jensen asked with a smile.</p><p>“I don’t know. Art…Start a business. Write a book. Become a yoga instructor. Run off to Portugal." Charlie says with a wide smile and a wink. “I just know, after everything, before you, I… kinda lost myself in my work. In everything besides myself, and I think… the universe is kind of telling me to tap into that. I let a lot of my losses and downfalls hold me back. I want to be the person everyone keeps telling me I am.”</p><p>"You are that person."</p><p>“I know, but I want to feel it. I know I’m capable of it. It’s just… I was always scared. Scared of failure and losing. But there is a lesson to all of it, and I'm trying to embrace it."</p><p>Jensen leaned in to kiss her, “Good. I’m proud of you,” he said before giving her another sweet kiss, then brushing her hair from her shoulder and kissing her skin on her neck.</p><p>"So, I’m guessing you told Maggie?”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>"So should I be protecting myself? Because even though Maggie's cool, she scares the shit out of me.”</p><p>Charlie laughed really loud. "No. Maggie isn't going to attack you, silly. Apparently, she has a newfound respect for you.” Jensen’s face looks enthralled. “Yeah, you two disgust me.” She smiled.</p><p>“You’re one to talk. Misha!” Jensen says, trying to imitate Charlie’s way of saying Misha’s name. “My Misha.”</p><p>"Uh, he’s adorable. And you love it." He smiled. “Oh wait, I forgot! That’s right! He’s <em>your</em> Misha!”</p><p>"That's it." Jensen got up from the couch. Picking Charlie up and throwing her over his shoulder. She didn't fight him but instead laughed. She pressed her hands on his butt. Pushing to slide up out of his grip. Turning her body up then jumped off his shoulder and landed right in front of the bed. Leaving Jensen standing there and flabbergasted. "How the hell did you just do that?"</p><p>"Yoga," She winked.</p><p>“God, I love your body.”</p><p>"Right back at you, hot stuff."</p><p>Jensen wraps his arms around Charlie’s waist, quickly pushing them both onto the mattress. Charlie laughing under him, then wraps her legs around his hips and flipped them over. She pins Jensen’s hands down by his wrists, smiling down at him.</p><p>“No, you don’t, Mr. Man. It’s my turn.”</p><p>"Hmm. Feisty Charlie comin’ out to play?”</p><p>She leans her face into the crook of his neck, nibbling at the skin. "Maybe…" Charlie giggles against his skin, unbuttoning one of his shirts and began ripping at the other. Feeling the need to be dramatic. </p><p>“Really?!” he asked, looking up at her.</p><p>She didn't say anything. Charlie just quieted him with her lips. Diving her tongue into his mouth and doing that familiar and arousing dance with their tongues. As they kissed, she took Jensen's hands and pushed them above his head, grinding into him.</p><p>“Is this what you want? For me to control you?” Speaking softly as her lips lightly grazed his lips, teasing.</p><p>"God, yes,” Jensen said, smiling up at her.</p><p>She sat up on him pushing, the fabric away from his chest and scratching her nails against his skin, all the way to his belly button.  She slowly climbs down over him aligning her face with his crotch. Grabbing at his hard dick, now covered under tight jeans.</p><p>"Does that mean I get to just have my way with you, as you do with me," Charlie asked, sticking her tongue out and lightly grazing it over his happy trail? Never leaving Jensen's eyes.</p><p>Jensen looked intensely at her. His pupils fully dilated. His chest, moving up and down quickly as his breathing picked up. Unable to actually speak, he just nodded his head up and down.</p><p>"I can't tell. Is that a face of excitement or curiosity?" She giggled.</p><p>Jensen chuckled. “Both.”</p><p>She climbed up to meet his face, landing a kiss on his lips then hovering hers over his. "I don't know Buddy. You've been a very bad boy," she chuckled, knowing she sounded stupid and didn't care.</p><p>Jensen laughed too at her little dirty talk attempt, knowing she was also trying to make him laugh. "And what are you gonna do to me?” he asked.</p><p>"Hmm, the possibilities." She smiled back. “Stay right here.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story please! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Midnight Rider</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie jumped off the bed. Jensen followed her with his eyes as she disappeared into her closet. He could hear her moving drawers and things around. Laughing when he heard her say ‘Ow, fucker’ to something under her breath. He waited patiently, laying on the bed. Looking around the makeshift apartment and up at the open view of the sky with a massive sunroof. There's something about being in the desert, away from the city and light pollution, that allows a beautiful collection of stars.</p><p>When he heard her click off the light, Charlie began to walk out of the closet with two ties in her hand.</p><p>He smiled at her with an eyebrow raised. “We’re making it interesting?” Jensen asked.</p><p>Charlie ran over to jump on the bed, excited. Nodding her head at him as she bit her lip. Her cheeks were a bit red. Jensen moved forward to pull her on him. Making her straddle him one last time. He moved in for a passionate kiss, holding her tightly as their lips met. Feeling all over her body while he could. He moved his hands down to squeeze her ass cheeks and ended with pulling her hair. Moving his lips and teeth to her neck. Kissing and nibbling as he went, sending Charlie's insides array as she melted into him.</p><p>"The level of excitement on your face right now makes whatever your about to do worth it. Whatever you want.”</p><p>Charlie bounces on top of him, excited. “Yay. I love your body. I love it when you let me roam.”</p><p>"I don't have to let you do anything. I am just as much yours as you are mine."</p><p>"Good to know."</p><p>She kissed him again. Taking his hands off her and began wrapping the soft material around each one. She playfully but forcefully pushed Jensen down flat on the bed and began extending his arms towards each corner of the headboard. Wrapping the fabric gently while Jensen kissed her skin hanging over his face. The material was long enough, so he was restrained from physically touching her but still comfortable and able to move around.</p><p>“Damn it. I forgot something. I’m not as prepared as I’d like to be. I wasn’t expecting this.”</p><p>Jensen smiled at her words and how gingerly she put the ties on him. Feeling the soft fabric and loving how it smelled amazingly like her. When he was tied, Charlie climbed off the bed. “Stay…” Jensen didn’t move a muscle. He just laid there, with an amused and content smile on his face, waiting for her. “Good boy.”</p><p>He laughed. “I’m not a dog, Maeson.”</p><p>Charlie ran back over to him, giving him a quick peck on his lips, “I know. I didn’t…Well, technically we’re gonna be… No, surprises. Stop talking.” She gave him one more peck. “I love you. Okay. Be right back.” She ran into the closet again. This time, taking a bit longer. Jensen kept his composure, laying calm and waiting. “Okay, close your eyes.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>"Do it,” she demanded. Jensen listened and closed his eyes. “Keep them closed till I say open them.”</p><p>Jensen heard Charlie walk into the room, climb on the bed and slide herself right on top of him. Instinctually, he wanted to rub his hands up and down her sides, to feel her skin and grip her hips and waist… but he couldn’t. Charlie made sure to grind into him, getting him nice and hard for her.</p><p>"Ugh, god." Jensen lets out as he becomes even more aroused.</p><p>Charlie let out a giggle, knowing that wasn’t going to be the cherry. “Open them.”</p><p>When Jensen opened his eyes, they almost popped out of his head. He again instinctively went to grip her waist, breasts, something, but his hands were tied. “Oh! Fuck you! Not cool! I didn’t agree to this," Jensen looked her up and down at Charlie's piece. She was wearing a red, strappy bondage leather teddy. The strappy inch thick material, perfectly covering, supporting, and outlining every faultless part of her but still letting a lot of skin show. The fat of her breasts delicately poking through the material. Charlie smiled to herself when she felt his dick twitch between her legs. She chuckles, moving forward to kiss his lips.</p><p>"Fuuucking god. Undo the ties,” Jensen yells. “Now.”</p><p>Charlie smiled wide. "Nope.”</p><p>"Charlie... Now.” He said, demanding.</p><p>She giggles. “Welcome to my world, baby.”</p><p>He pushes up into her, lifting himself off the bed a bit. Trying to get some friction. Charlie, wanting to comply, slowly but diligently began to remove his shoes and pants, leaving his shirt. Knowing if she tried to undo each arm at a time, he would overpower her, and she liked him vulnerable for her. <strong><em>Gotta remember to underdress him first next time. If there is a next time.</em></strong>So she slowly pulled off his underwear, letting his hard cock come free and clearly showing how aroused he was.</p><p>When Jensen was naked enough for her, she began kissing against the skin of his chest, stomach, and groin. Just trying to get him even more riled up. She wanted him to think he was going to get what he wanted, but she always pulled back, hearing him growl in frustration. Charlie climbed on him again, taking his lower lip between her teeth. Pulling and diving her tongue into her mouth, making him want more.</p><p>“You remember what I said to you last time?” Charlie asked, and Jensen nodded. His eyes fixated on her, looking sexy and innocent. “Is that what you want again? For me to talk down to you?” She said, grinding into him some more.” He nodded again. “Use your words.”</p><p>"Yes," Jensen answered, finally giving her her favorite little smirk.</p><p>“You want me to call you my...” She hugged him to her, pressing his face into her chest. “My beautiful, loving brawny bear, who I love to fuck.”</p><p>Jensen smiled a bit, "Always."</p><p>“Or do you like it when I talk dirty to you?”</p><p>He nodded affirmatively, "God, yes.”</p><p>Charlie continues grinding into him. Jensen's eyes fall closed as he becomes lost in the sensation. "You like me fucking you like my own personal fuck doll. Me being your dirty little girl."</p><p>As she spoke to him, she kept his head up toward her face, but his eyes were closed. Still lost in what she was doing to him. His lips puckered, waiting for her. "And I know your right. No one.” She moves to kiss his lips. "No one will ever have this part of me but you.” Jensen leans in for another kiss, and Charlie gives it to him. "So, your gonna sit here and let me fuck you.”</p><p>His eyes were finally open. He looked at Charlie. His pupils blown, and he gave her a nod. "Yes."</p><p>Charlie hovered her lips over his again, “I want to see you fall apart under me again. Sit here and stay hard as you let me fuck you. The way I wanna fuck you.”</p><p>Jensen just watched her with lust-blown eyes. Pulling at the ties holding him.  </p><p>Charlie slowly kissed down to his happy trail, licking his hairs and skin as she traveled down. His breathing, becoming shallow as she teased him until she heard him growl her name one more time. The sound, turning her on even more. Taking it as a small victory, she begins kissing and licking the base of his dick and balls, all the way up to his head. Finally taking him in her mouth and moaning to the taste of him. <strong><em>God, it has been too long. </em></strong>Sucking hard and causing Jensen to thrust up into her throat, but she took it. He let out a deep and rough moan.</p><p>“Fuck, Charlie.”</p><p>She sucked him with determination. Making sure he hit the back of her throat every time and feeling him let out a gratifying moan at the feeling. For a minute, Charlie forgot she had Jensen tied down as she gave him head. She almost wanted him to fuck her mouth. She loved him surrendering to her, but she also loved his control. She could never make it as good as him.</p><p>Charlie continued to work him up and down. Tasting all of him and savoring it. Pressing her hands down on his thighs when he began to resist her as he slowly began to lose his composure. Not liking having his hands tied. Charlie kept her pace. Jensen began to feel that familiar tugging. With her working him just the way he likes, he threw his head back, trying to pace himself and not cum.</p><p>Charlie feeling his struggle climbs off him again, hearing him hiss as she left his hard warm dick alone with no release.</p><p>“I’m sorry. What was that? I didn’t hear you.” Charlie asked, finally standing up and showing him the rest of her red lingerie. He could see how hard her nipples were and felt very inclined to have them in his mouth.</p><p>"Let me out of this, Charlie," Jensen said, almost a demand.</p><p>She chuckled. “I don’t think so.” She smiled at him. “You like being controlled, but you don’t like being denied, and it’s soo much fun to see you all adorable and frustrated.” Jensen pulled his head up, trying to meet hers as she teased him. "You want me?” Jensen nobs, watching her lips only inches away from his. “Tell me how bad.”</p><p>"So fuckin bad, baby. You're so fucking sexy right now."</p><p>She finally met his lips. “Good.”</p><p>Charlie shimmed out of her lingerie bottoms, exposing herself to him. Turning around and straddled him again, pressing her back against his chest and resting her head against his shoulder. When she turned her head to look up at him, Jensen had the most intense carnal and sensuous look on his face. It almost gave her the chills. But that looks was what she wanted, the exhilaration knowing she did that to him.</p><p>Not wasting a second, Charlie moves up over him, using her hand to stroke him as she moved in to kiss him before what came next. When their lips touched, Charlie aligned him with her pussy and began slowly pushing down, taking all of him in and moaning into his mouth. Finally able to fight that visceral need to gasp at how big he felt every single time.</p><p>Jensen, almost falling apart at the feeling of her around him, impatiently moves his hips up to meet her, making himself push deeper and causing Charlie to scream at how deep he was. The sensation instantly lighting a fire inside her, and she began to ride him forcefully. Taking him in and out and not stopping with each stroke until her ass cheeks smacked against him. He groans, moaning at what she was doing, and it made her work faster for him. The feeling was exhilarating. Feeling him struggle to touch her made it all the better. Wanting him to reach that point again. She pulled off him for a second, adjusting them then slid his dick back inside of her. The both of them simultaneously, letting out a moan at how good it felt. She worked, using his legs for stability. Jensen sat up as best he could as she continued to work him, adding circular motions and feeling him reach that sweet-sweet spot.</p><p>“Oh, my god, right there.” She moans. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck!”</p><p>Jensen threw his head back, “Shit! Don’t stop. Don’t stop. You feel so fucking good,” Jensen moans.</p><p>“I wish I had your big strong hands on me. Fucking me harder. No one can fuck me like you, Jensen.”</p><p>“Then let me go.”</p><p>"You still gonna be my little fuck toy."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Gonna listen to me?”</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>.” He groans. “Yes.”</p><p>"Gonna fuck me how I wanna be fucked? Make me so fucking sore every time I sit or move and think about your dick, inside of me, feeling so god damn good.” She moans.</p><p>“Oh my god, I fucking love you.”</p><p>She smiles and begins to breathe heavily feeling, feeling him pulse inside of her as the same time a wave wash through her body. “Don’t cum. I want you to cum in my ass.”</p><p>"Shit,” Jensen let out, remembering the last time they had sex.</p><p>“But you’re not done with my pussy yet. Are you baby?”</p><p>"God, no.”</p><p>She pulls off him, and Jensen lays back down on the bed, taking a breath and smiling wide at her. “Ass, huh? How long have you been wanting that?”</p><p>Charlie shrugs. "Since I stopped feeling sore from the first time,” Charlie said, straddling him again, this time facing him. She moved in to kiss him. The two looked at the others lips for a minute as she pulls at his short hair and begins grinding into him. Jensen was lost on her mouth and the taste of her on his lips. Charlie grabbed his hard cock between her legs and aligned him with her pussy again. Moving down on him. Feeling the sensation of him bordering the sweet decadence of intense pleasure. A dull but delicious pain. She began moving up and down and working circles on top of him. Driving Jensen crazy. Making him moan under her.</p><p>Knowing only Jensen can make her cum as hard as she wanted, she moved forward, still riding him, and began untying the knots around his wrist. Needing more. He immediately began removing the red lingerie, quickly. Once off, Charlie was finally naked on top of him. He grabbed her hips and began moving her up and down, working her to a more brutal pace. Giving her what she wanted. Slamming her down on him repeatedly. Making him hit her deep and in a perfect spot, causing Charlie to moan deep and uncontrollably over him.</p><p>Jensen flipped them over onto the bed, gripping onto her shoulders and pushing her into him as he worked into her. Keeping this rythem for abit as she continued to moan. For a slipt second, Charlie was upset she wasn't on top, wasn't in control. But next second, her mind and her body couldn't compute what was being done to her and she just didn’t care. She rolls her head back, arching her back into him until she came. Her eyes, rolling into the back of her head.</p><p>When Charlie was ready for more, she rolled them back over, taking his hands off of her, putting them back onto the bed. She continues to move up and down on him, losing her strength. "God, your dick is so fucking perfect." She breathes between moves. "You feel so good inside me. How did I do without for so long?" She said, moving in with a deep moan and kissing him, Jensen kissing back.</p><p>"Fuck, Charlie,” he moaned as she moved over him, and he grabbed her hips again, helping guide her.</p><p>Charlie squeezed her hips hard around him as she kept riding. She began to feel the burn and ache of his grip against her skin as he gripped her hips, and she knew it was going to leave bruises. Charlie hovered her face over his, letting her hair cascade around their heads. She kept moving over him, and she could feel Jensen breathing heavy and losing his control, and it turned her on. She watched him as he had his eyes closed, lost in the feeling of her.</p><p>“Look at me.” Jensen opened his eyes. She took both his hands and pressed them against her chest, wanting him to squeeze her breasts. “Did you miss me, baby?” Charlie asked as she was unrelenting over him, pressing his hands into her breasts as he squeezed them hard.</p><p>Jensen moved forward, pressing his face into her chest, taking the fat into his mouth.he moved his face off of her and looked into her eyes. "You know I did. I will always want to be with you."</p><p>Charlie grins wide at him, pressing her lips into his and pushing his head into the mattress. Kissing him tenderly before she began moving over him faster, working herself to a release.Jensen grabbed her hips, working against her moves and meeting her plunges. Making Charlie squeeze his hands as they were intertwined and begins moaning controllably into his ear.</p><p>“Shit! Oh, my god, yes. Yes!” She moans.</p><p>She settles her face into the crock of his neck, letting him take her, wanting to come again. When the orgasm washed over her, Charlie sits up, pushing and holding him down to the mattress as she rides him and it out.</p><p> Jensen grabbed her by her ass cheeks, making her scream with a giggle, and flipped her over. Charlie egger pulls off of him, climbing farther on the bed and bending over for him on both knees, needing more.</p><p>“There’s lube in the nightstand.”</p><p>Jensen gave her a 'really?' look. "Dude, soul-crushing. And I cried 'cause it was <em>that</em> good. Yes, I am going to want it again. Now she the fuck up and fuck me in the ass.” She added a smile.</p><p>Jensen looked at her for a second, almost dumbfounded, then moved over into the nightstand, fetching the bottle of lube and grabbing it. He moves behind her rubbing his hands up and down her back. Charlie, eagerly pushing into him, wanting him inside of her again.</p><p>Jensen teased her, pushing his dick through her folds but not going in. When she whimpers in front of him, he finally complied, and she closes her eyes as he begins pushing two fingers into her whole… stretching it. Making her ready for him. Putting lube to keep her wet. He worked his fingers in and out as she whimpers at the stinging.</p><p>“Jensen,” she whines, just wanting it over with and he chuckles.</p><p>“So impatient,” he says.</p><p>Lining himself up and slowly beginning to push in. Charlie lets out a sharp and tearfully deep moan. She moved forward, Jensen following not wanting to pull out, and rested her head on the mattress, trying to relax her body. When Jensen pushes in some more, she winces at the pain, arching her back and pushing into him. When he moved out, putting more lube on, and slid back in, Charlie gasped again as he moved in farther but easier this time. The feeling familiar. A tedious throbbing with that familiar pleasurable feeling creeping back. Hitting so much different, and deeper than anything else.</p><p>Charlie doesn't wait for Jensen to move. She beings to move back and forth on him at her own pace. Pushing him in little and little every time. Jensen, just letting her do her own thing. Within minutes Charlie was pushing all the way down on him, working at a steady and intense rhythm, wanting it harder, and loving the pain. Her body began to weaken as she held on as she shook and writhed in front of him, intensely working herself to that brink.</p><p>When Jensen noticed her moves begin to lag, her moaning increasing, and Charlie squeezing him tighter, Jensen grabbed her hips and started to move in and out of her harder knowing she needed to cum. Charlie throws her head back as the feeling of his intensity rolls through her.</p><p>"Oh. God. Yes. Yes! God, I fucking love this. Yes. Make me cum. Make me cum. Make me cum. Yes!" she screamed and pushed back into him, needing more. Charlie arches her back, pressing her chest down against the bed and leaving her ass in the air for him to work into. She moaned into the mattress as Jensen continued his assault. He pounded her asshole. The sound of their skin smacking together filled the room. Along with their moans and Charlie's screams. She worked against him. Loving the level of sensations all of this produced. Enjoying all of it while she white-knuckled the edge of the bed, holding on for dear life. Carefully memorizing the curves of his dick in her ass. Pulling at the sheets every time his hard movements made her lose her grip. Trying to breathe through what he was doing to her. Wincing at the pain but pushing into it, wanting more.</p><p>Jensen grabs a hand full of her hair, pulling it, making Charlie straighten back up and move back into him.  He grabbed her breasts and worked into her tirelessly. Charlie let out crying moans as he gets deeper and into a new delicious rhythm.</p><p>"God, you feel so damn good," he said into her ear. He began to feel that familiar pull, and he knew he was going to cum soon. She moans louder as he moves deeper, getting worked back up to another orgasm again.</p><p>"Oh, fuck… Yes. Jensen. Jensen. Yes."</p><p>"You like that?"</p><p>"Yes!" She says, taking his thrusts. "Ahhh! God! So much for you falling apart under <em>me</em>." She screams with a cry when he begins to hit that perfect spot, and Charlie goes silent. Another orgasm washing over her, and her eyes rolled in the back of her head. Jensen pushed them both forward, letting Charlie fall to the mattress. He hovered over her, holding his weight but stayed inside of her. Watching as her entire body locked up and squirming under him. Her mouth falls open, and Charlie held her breath as it all hit her. Her orgasm, hitting hard. She grabs onto his hands on her chest, gripping them as she tries to hold onto something, anything.</p><p>Jensen, never stopping his thrusts, groaning as she grips him tight.</p><p>“Say it, Baby. Say what you couldn’t say before. Say it for me.”</p><p>"Oh, god. I love you. I love you! Oh, my fucking god. I love you." She cries. Feeling the weight of her words as she felt him inside of her.</p><p>Jensen lost himself to her words. Pulling out and flipping her over on her back. He quickly moved between her legs and pushed back into her ass. He kisses her as she cries against his lips from the feeling of him filling her again. Charlie whimpers against his lips, and Jensen dived his tongue in. Expressing everything he was feeling through the kiss as he began to cum inside of her, moaning into her mouth.</p><p>When he was done, he slides down between her legs, finishing her up by eating her out. "Oh, fuck," Charlie yells as she smacks her hands against the bed, gripping the sheets and looking down at him. Jensen looked up at her, and their eyes burned into one another as Charlie worked circled on his tongue and moving a hand to his head, pushing him into her more.</p><p>Jensen licked her up and down. From her clit to her ass and back up. Working circles in her walls and on her little bundle of nerves. Holding Charlie down and open for him. Making her ride out her high and cum his tongue but never come down until he cleaned her all up and Charlie's legs and hands fell to her side.</p><p>He crawled up to her on the bed. Letting her wrap her arms and legs around him as she lay spent. Her body, feeling relaxed and loose.</p><p>"I love this feeling," Charlie says as she holds him to her chest, resting against the pillow. Jensen was looking up at the sun-roof. Watching a plane fly by as he looked up to the Arizona night sky. Thinking Charlie was going to sleep, but she kept playing with his hair.</p><p>"What feeling?"</p><p>"Feeling my entire body loose...my muscles like jello. All hot, sweaty, and dirty against you."</p><p>Jensen let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, that was pretty amazing."</p><p>Charlie hums, tired, but still very much awake.</p><p>“You’re amazing." Jensen looked over at her, watching Charlie as she kept her eyes closed. "You're going to hate me, but we need to shower." She smiled and opened her eyes, looking at him.</p><p>"Hi," Charlie said, smiling again.</p><p>"Hey, you." Jensen smiled back, giving Charlie a knowing smirk. Biting his lip and communicating what he was thinking without even saying a word.</p><p>Charlie begins to squirm, hiding her face into the pillow as her cheeks began to blush. "Shut up."</p><p>His face gets more serious when she looks back at him. "I'm sorry...about everything."</p><p>"You're going to have to be more specific. Right now, my ass is pretty sore, so I can only assume your sorry for that too?"</p><p>Jensen laughed, "No. Not at all." He moved forward to kiss her. "I just... I'm not trying to be secretive or complicated, or whatever it is I am. I'm... I'm just.... I don't know I feel-"</p><p>"Conflicted?" Charlie finished.</p><p>Jensen looked at her, his face falling. Charlie smiled at him and moved in to give him a kiss. She took his hand and put it over her heart. Jensen could feel her heart racing. "Every time I think of Matt, a part of me wants to cry, and my heart races. Because I miss him. I will always miss him. And I feel conflicted, cause I’m with you. How could I just move on? But when I think of you..."She paused, breathing, and her heart quickly slowed. "You calm me, Jensen. You are my escape from what he did to me. And I'm your escape from her. Just because your ghost is still around, doesn't mean it should hurt any less. It's a loss. I'm not gonna ask you to erase her. You cant. But the more you try to evade who you were, with her, what you feel about her, about everything that happened when you with her, the more you are going to push me away."</p><p>He looked at her not knowing what to say.</p><p>"I know your tired of people telling you to handle whatever it is you have to handle with Danneel because you think you're done, but... Jensen, you’re not. I'm not saying that you want to be with her. But you need to be honest with her, or you'll never be honest with yourself. And how can you be honest with me or anyone if you’re not honest with yourself?" she said, looking upon him and landing a kiss on his lips. Seeing the concern on his face. "…with all that…with Misha. I’m over it. It just shook me for a lot of reasons, and I needed to hear <em>something</em>. I needed the holes filled. I needed some form of closure. I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you make me. And more so along the lines of like… you decided you’re in love with Misha and want to spend the rest of your life with him." She joked. Jensen gave her a stern straight face. "A girl can dream." She shrugged with a light chuckle. “Or…maybe eventually you'll get sick of me. Or my psycho side starts to show, and I'm intolerable."</p><p>“That will never happen.”</p><p>"You've met my mother. I'm just saying. Everything before us Jensen is that. I'm not gonna judge you, or belittle you. I’m over it. I’m looking forward. I’m in love with your character and everything you are. I said it before… it's about intentions. I can't get mad at you for being confused or nervous… trying to find your way through life in some form of an emotionally stable way. I’m guilty of that. If there's anything that still holds my mind, that would be the big elephant that sits in the corner of the room, called your wife. And everything that comes with <em>Danneel</em>. I’ve ignored it, but… I-I don’t think we can anymore.”</p><p>Jensen sighs. "I know."</p><p>"And there's not really anything that can be done, aside from you coming to face with all that. You're getting divorced, and from what you tell me soon. I know it's happening. I also know you both are millionaires with contracts and business shit, so that, all that, takes a while."</p><p>"Pretty much, yeah."</p><p>"But, eventually, you know you're going to need your closure."</p><p>Jensen nodded, "I don't know how to do that."</p><p>"It doesn't have to be now. You're getting better. When we met, you two were at each other's throats. But that's something for another day. But now, today, I’m-we're letting the past be the past. I'm leaving Matt and my life behind,” Charlie said very seriously to him. “I’m starting this with you. The both of us… we have to move on. You and me. Us, together. For a while, I know the distance affected us, but… if you’re okay with it… I would like to spend more time in Austin or Vancouver with you. At least until I figure out my permanent living situation. Figure out medical stuff. Gotta stay on top of my birth control. I gotta freakin' fly to Seattle in a few weeks just to get my depo shot.” She rolled her eyes. "The things I do for you, buddy."</p><p>Jensen smiles, cupping her face. "You love it." He gave her a sweet wet kiss. "So, Ms. Maeson. Are you asking to move in with me?"</p><p>Charlie blushed, and Jensen reveled at the color. "Maybe." She smiled. "More… I'm taking my job as your personal fuck doll more seriously." They laugh.</p><p>"Of course, I’m okay with it. But why the sudden change.”</p><p>She looked down, avoiding his eyes. "It’s not sudden. I’ve been thinking about it the entire time. After Maggie leaving, quitting MAP, leaving Washington. Selling the house… you. But I had to be smart about it. I had to figure some stuff out and let the chips fall. So here I am. I just don’t think it is healthy for me to be here in Arizona anymore. There was a reason I lived far away from here. Besides… renovations are almost done. What am I gonna do, get a lease here? I fucking hate it here,” she spits. Jensen pecked her lips with a smile at her little truth. He knew she hated Arizona. She just never wanted to admit it. "I mean, I love some of the people and I love my dad. I miss him. And for the longest time, I thought leaving this place meant leaving him…but I know that’s not true anymore. Besides memories, nothing holds me here. I need to do some stuff before I settle someplace. See Maggie if I can. Go to New York." She rolled her eyes. "I swear you did all this intentionally.”</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You've perfectly constructed and manipulated my life so that all I will need, want, eat, taste, and breathe is you," Charlie says as she squeezes him closer to her naked body.</p><p>"Wasn't my intention…” he laughed.</p><p>She turns to look up at the sunroof view. “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t really have a home anymore.”</p><p>Jensen got on his elbows, looking down at her. “Charlie-”</p><p>She put a finger over his mouth, shushing him. “You said once, we were each other’s anchor, and you were right…I have you. I want to be with you, Jensen. You are my home. If you’ll have me. I’m taking a leap of faith with you. Knowing this could blow up in my face, but… I’ll do it… <em>for you</em>.” She smiled. “Just none of this traveling stuff, I can’t with it anymore.” She laughed. “I don’t know how you do it.”</p><p>“Blow up in your face?”</p><p>She looked at him seriously. "As much as you don't talk about her, and you kind of navigate from the subject, I am very aware of our circumstances."</p><p>"What circumstances?"</p><p>"The one that gives her the right to talk in that door." Charlie thought, then corrected herself. "Okay. Maybe not <em>that </em>door. For once it's actually my door, but… you know, one of your doors, to reclaim her long lost husband… I…I can’t stop that.”</p><p>"Babe, that's not gonna happen. Dee and I… I'll always love her and maybe there’s more to that love, but… we’ll never be <em>us </em>again. I can never.”</p><p>“Either way, Jensen. Legally she is your wife. She has your child. She has your name, your house, dogs, finances, whatever.  He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. Charlie could see everything he was holding back. She saw the hurt, the pain, the anger, and above all… the longing.</p><p>"Love is complicated, Jay." He looked at her, reacting to her using his usual nickname. One she never uses, mostly because Danneel was the one who called him that. The one who started it. “It’s not rational or easy. You can love someone, then learn to hate them, that doesn’t mean what was, is gone. Apart from accepting my love for you, was knowing I wouldn't have all of you. And that's okay. I'm okay with that. I know that's what you think. You’re too much of a burden or hassle to love. Because of everything you are and everything that comes with you. But you’re not. You’re worth it. I'm a product of my life too.”</p><p>Jensen moves in to kiss her and began to move onto her body, between her legs. Making Charlie laugh knowing exactly what he was leading to. “Jensen! We have to shower! Were gross! And I'm sore. You, ass.”</p><p>“So, no hot slow shower sex?”</p><p>“Sure, let’s give me a reason to wobble down the aisle tomorrow. Telling everyone I sprained my ankle with hot shower sex. I’m sure my mother would have a hoot.” Charlie thought about that for a second. “Actually… yes. Let’s.”</p><p>She moved out of bed, pulling him with her and walking them over to the bathroom across the room. Jensen laughed at how suddenly she had energy again. When they entered, Jensen took in her bathroom, again looking up at the beautiful sky. “You like sunroofs.”</p><p>"I love stars." She laughed to herself. "No pun intended."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. The Wanton Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh, come on, Charlie. It can’t be that bad.”</p><p>"I didn't say it was bad… I said it was too much. I don't wear makeup like this, and my mom and Trixie have nipples as breasts… I, however…” Charlie said, as she looked herself over in the tall three-way mirror, whining. She did want to walk out of the room, having finally been put together, she was anxious.</p><p>“Have some ScarJo’s… I know. It fucking awesome.”</p><p>“I don’t wanna hear a peep! Because if you react badly, then I'm gonna like rip the dress and make some excuse up."</p><p>“Not a peep.” Jensen smiles, trying to peak as he sat on the bed across from the dressing room.</p><p>Charlie walked around the corner in a gorgeous flowing red silk A-line spaghetti strap dress with a V-neck and a sexy split up her left thigh. The V-line giving a clear display of her D-cup boobs that fit perfectly in her dress. Not too revealing, but still sexy and eye-catching. Her hair half up with her long bangs out and parted to one side. With the color of the dress, her skin tone, the natural makeup, and red lipstick. Even the complete contrast of her long dark hair over her shoulders, Jensen was lost in her.</p><p>As much as she didn’t like the fit, she looked elegant, beautiful, and breathtaking. Jensen fell silent as he was taken back by the view of her. The only time he remembered Charlie looking this done was on their first date. She didn’t need to be, she was always beautiful, but tonight…wow. He even felt his dick twitch as he took in all the curves of the dress. Knowing it was going to be a long night cause he couldn’t touch her. His eyes flowed all the way down to her legs. The skin, slightly poking out, showing her red strappy stilettos, adding to it all. His mouth fell open, and he was speechless.</p><p>Charlie giggled, seeing the dumbfounded look on his face. “Okay. I lied. Please say something.”</p><p>Jensen was lost on the dress and how it perfectly it squeezed and flowed over her body. “What?” he finally said, seconds later, as Charlie awkwardly stands and looks down at herself.</p><p>"It's too much, isn't it?” Charlie threw her arms down at her side, “Maybe I should have kept the hair up, but my mom wan-”</p><p>“No,” Jensen interrupted her. Sounding harsher than he meant. Still taken back. “Umm, no. You… you-you look… I don’t…-I-Wow, Charlie.” He stuttered. “You look… Phenomenal.”</p><p>"I'm not supposed to look phenomenal Jensen, I’m a bridesmaid.” She said in a low tone.</p><p>"Yeah, well. No offense. No one's going to be looking at her. Or like… anyone else for that matter. Kinda happy there will be photos of this.”</p><p>"I was hesitant about the few press… but now I gotta look like… a plastic doll. I knew I should have faked an injury or something. It’s bad enough I have to be a part of this thing. Then she makes the fucking bridesmaid dress red. But not just any kinda red dress…. Nooooo, the skimpiest and expensive, I might add, red <em>silk </em>dress! Silk! I'm not wearing underwear, Jensen!" Charlie rants, beginning to freak out.</p><p>“Yeah, I know. It’s hot as hell," Jensen said, still looking at her dress from behind as she looked at the mirror. “I’m going to enjoy sitting in the pews.”</p><p>“I feel like a genetic trophy. ’Oh, Hello. Welcome to my wedding. But don’t look at me, a sixty-year-old b-rat! Look at my much younger and whatever daughters! The stupid….jerk.”</p><p>“I love how you’re really trying not to call her a bad word,” he chuckles.</p><p>Charlie takes a breather, calming herself. “Five more hours. Five more fucking hours, Charlotte.”</p><p>"Hm, don’t you mean Calliope.”</p><p>"Sure.” She pouts.</p><p>Jensen walks over to her as she stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself. He kisses her shoulder and wraps his arms around her waist, looking at her in the reflection. “I know you hate the idea of people looking at you in this… but just know… I am going to really enjoy watching every single man look at you, wanting you, and I’m the one who’s going to be taking this dress off you tonight.”</p><p>Charlie smiles. <strong><em>Fine. I can't lie. I love the idea of that. Him. </em></strong> “Way to get me horny when I can’t get the dress dirty or creased. Little shit.”</p><p>"Just leveling the playing field. I have to look at this all night."</p><p>"And what are you? Chopped liver?" She turned around to look at him. "Freshly cut, perfect stubble, and in an expensive suit. Your lips are that perfect pink, ‘cause you've been licking them all day. I can tell. My ovaries are fucking screaming.” He smiled a handsome smile wiggling his eyebrows.</p><p>“So, before you distract me again with you wanton ways. I wanted to give you something.”</p><p>“Is it vibrating panties?” She asked to be funny.</p><p>Jensen laughed and shook his head. “Next time. You dirty girl.” Charlie gave him a wicked smile as he pulled out a box from his pocket. The box was bigger than a ring box but still small. Charlie grew serious, nervous and speechless watching him pull it from his pocket and hold it up for her.</p><p>“No. I figured you had a thing for necklaces, and you’d be getting all dolled up tonight. I wanted to give you something. It’s modest yet beautiful…just like you. You don’t like all that stuff. And I noticed you even stopped wearing your Calliope necklace.”</p><p>"I do, sometimes. Everyone kept asking, and now everyone knows my first name." She rolls her eyes.</p><p>Jensen smiled. "I know." He passed her the box, and Charlie hesitated. When she grabbed it, he turned her around, wrapping his hands around her waist and tucking his chin on her neck, watching her open it.</p><p>Charlie flipped the top of the box open with a small gasp. In it laid a simple, pear cut diamond silver necklace. The diamond stood alone, and he was right. It was simple, nothing fancy. Nothing extravagant, but it was beautiful. The perfect size. She looked at him tenderly, "You didn’t have to buy me a necklace.”</p><p>Jensen smiles, "Well, duh." He kisses her and takes the box from her hands.</p><p>Still taken back, Charlie lets him, watching him in the mirror as he takes off the other one she bought to accent the dress and wrapped his around her neck, clipping the back. The necklace, hung in a perfect place. Not too low or too high and not too heavy. It accented amazingly with her dress, skin, and hair. But it was also simple enough to go with anything and would never need to be taken off.</p><p>After Jensen finished putting it on, Charlie grazes her finger over it… smiling to herself and remembering the significance. “Where it all began.” She said, lost in thought while still looking at the necklace. Remembering the night she and Jensen met and the question that started this complicated little love of theirs.</p><p>"It's not a vintage diamond ring. But it's a vintage diamond necklace." He smiled. "I'm glad your mind went where I wanted it to. For you to remember <em>that </em>moment and see how far you…we’ve come.”</p><p>Charlie turned around in his arms. “Thank you. This is too much. I don’t need this. I just want you." She said, with tear-filled eyes.</p><p>"I know. But I remember what you said about the things that hang around your neck. And all the ones important to you are generally associated with sadness. I wanted something you could smile at when you looked in the mirror. Something that encouraged good memories and maybe reminds you of me."</p><p>“I love it. It is beautiful. Thank you,” she said again, crying now and hugging Jensen as hard as she could.</p><p>"Anything for you, Charlie."</p><p>After holding her for a few seconds, Jensen moved out of their embrace, giving her a sweet kiss on her cheek and wiping a tear, “Now. Ms. Maeson,” he extends his arm, inviting her to loop hers around his. “Let the gawking begin.”</p><p>Charlie giggled and followed his lead out the room. The whole night Charlie kept feeling the necklace, nervous it would fall off or just to feel it and smile. They headed off to where her mother was being held. There was still time before the ceremony, so she helped behind the scenes. Jensen stayed with the guests, making conversation and being sure to brag about his girlfriend and how amazed and proud of her he was. Making every attempt to destroy any past words spoken or gossiped about her over the past week.</p><p>When the ceremony began, Jensen watched her. When it ended, he was right by her side, kissing and caressing her to let her know she was no doubt the most beautiful woman in the room or on the property, and she wasn’t alone. As the night went on, Charlie relaxed. Finally feeling like a major stressor was over. Her mother was married and no longer her burden, financially and emotionally anyway. <strong><em>For how long… who know’s. </em></strong></p><p>Charlie officially introduced Jensen to her mother’s new husband, Everett, out of respect for him being at his wedding. Charlie admitted even though Everett never gave her a reason to dislike him, she never did. There was something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. But she kept with pleasantries and being respectful because that's all he ever gave her. But even Jensen had to agree he was a weird man. Everett and Jensen socialized a bit. Jensen learning, he was a top-level tech guy for an IBM branch in Phoenix and immediately felt like he knew what drew Beth to him. <em>Money.</em></p><p>Charlie and Jensen enjoyed hanging with others for a time. They stood around with Maggie when she had time to talk between photos. They even spent some time alone, away from the talking and eyes. Just the two of them. She gave him a tour of the grounds and where she worked when she was younger. The celebrities she met or the assholes she'd have to scare off. Eventually, they went off to change into something comfortable for the rest of the night. Charlie took him to a reclusive area of the club, where she knew no one would find them. Where the two had a not-so-quickie quickie. No doubt leaving the stragglers walking by wondering who was going at it like animals in the forbidden sections.</p><p>By the end of the night, after speeches and dances, the two hung around the bonfire for a while. Until it was time to bid goodbye to the bride and groom. They spoke to Maggie for some time before she left, and Charlie made plans to visit her the next time she was in LA.</p><p>Jensen stayed in Arizona until Monday. While he was there, they spent time together. Staying home and relaxing, or driving about the Scottsdale, Phoenix area showing him around. When Monday came, Charlie followed Jensen to Vancouver. As the days went on, she felt a lot better. She and Jensen began talking more and more about them as a couple. Making plans as a couple. Especially with holidays coming up. With Jensen meeting her crazy mother and siblings, she wanted to show him her sane family. The sensible ones. The ones she felt she was more like, or at least she hoped.</p><p>Jensen even began diving in more to the details as to everything that happened before them more thoroughly. Even being more forthcoming about the true nature of his and Danneel’s downfall. Something he didn’t feel comfortable disclosing on Danneel’s part. But given everything he kept from Charlie, and seeing how much everything was bothering her, Jensen further confided in her. Ultimately, knowing he could trust her.</p><p>“You gotta understand. She always wanted a big family. She said that from the beginning. Even before me. Not five or ten but three maybe four. She grew up in a big family, but it was also just her and her little brother. And she loves and respects the shit out of her brother. When we got married, she let her career go to start a family with me. She didn’t care about the fame. That’s not what it was about for her. On top of that, when people constantly put her down. Telling her, her career and total worth were only reputable because of her husband… that gets to you. Even though she acted and was established before meeting me. It got to her. Everything got to her. But when she lost the baby, she lost a part of herself, I think. Much like you said…when you had your-“</p><p>"Abortion."</p><p>"No. If that’s what you wanna call it, sure. Don't get me wrong. I wanted that too. Of course, I wanted that. I grew up in a big loving family as well. I wanted all of that. But When JJ came… I loved my daughter. I was fine with her. I was happy with just her. My daughter was a bonus, to everything else I was blessed with. But for her, it was almost a purpose. Sure, she had modeling and acting, but she always wanted a family. When she got pregnant, she took it very seriously. When Justice was born, even now. She was always a great mother. She had her moments, as do I.”</p><p>"But?"</p><p>“It wasn’t enough. It didn’t fill the void. So, we tried again after justice. Like…a lot. And… I don’t know. Just never stuck. We still can’t even figure what made Justice. But…” he smiled, thinking about his daughter. “JJ was born and when I saw her for the first time, that was the best moment of my life. She was my contribution to it all and to the world. And I thought our beautiful baby was enough, but…I wasn’t around. Not as often as I probably should have been, and still should be. And Danneel got that. She understands the industry and the demand, but it all got to her. Constantly wanting to be mad at me or someone, but always knowing she kinda couldn’t. We got together knowing it all. But, when she couldn't have the life she imagined, and she put her career on the burner, for me… it did something to her. She won’t admit it, but there's resentment. Something we couldn’t come back from. Her sacrifice was barely having a husband for a family. My way of balancing the scores was by giving her what she wanted. But I couldn’t, not fully.”<br/>“So I gave her Misha? I thought you said after JJ, you guys got too busy.”</p><p>"Well, yeah. We were. That just added to us falling apart. In the beginning, it held us together. Coming home on the weekends, trying. But after a while… Love is complicated. It was complicated. It just wasn't there, and it felt...forced when we did. She was tired, I was tired. She was frustrated, I was overwhelmed. Misha was a way to alleviate it all. It was different and escape. She found comfort in him. Seeing them the first time… it felt like I should hate it. But I loved it. Because She was alive and, in some way, happy. And it wasn't that she was falling in love with him or falling for him. She found a means of an escape that didn’t involve our daughter. Cause that’s all it was for her, our daughter. She lost herself. To see them together was exhilarating. So, I fed into that side of her, I asked her what she wanted, and it went from there. Then one day… she didn't want him. She didn't want me. She wanted him and me... together or whatever.”</p><p>"And just like that, she made soooo many people's dreams come true,” Charlie joked. Jensen gave her a serious face, and she gets serious.</p><p>“And I guess. Even that wasn’t enough.”</p><p>"So… when… you found her?"</p><p>Jensen took a deep breath, “She’d done a lifetime movie with Hailey, and in the process, had to do interviews, junkets, things like that. It was kind of the first time she was away from JJ for longer than two or three days. I was with her, and I was fine. But…from what I understand, they had gone out with a few friends. She met Jeremy. Her now…whatever he is, boyfriend. Her and I got into an argument before she took her plane, and she left with all that on her mind… she drank. Which, she rarely did, so she got drunk."</p><p>"And they hooked up?"</p><p>"Yeah… If you can call it that. She was drunk. How drunk she was, she cant remember. To me, she shouldn’t have been in that situation. And that’s a whole different matter.” <strong><em>Where was Hailey?</em></strong>“But and when she woke up the next day in his bed and confronted him, feeling terrible, not knowing how to tell me… they ended up having sex again. And as the weeks followed, she kept it from me. We hadn’t had sex for weeks. She got into an argument with Hailey over it because, well, I was the one that sort of introduced her to Jerfferey and we were always close, but Hailey wasn’t there to help. And she didn’t agree with Danneel. After that, she was more irritable. But also, emotional. I still didn’t know. I just figure it was me. I wasn’t doing enough or… So, when I decided to be helpful and come home early… that’s-that’s when everything kind of…unraveled.”</p><p>"I'm sorry, Jensen."</p><p>He looked at Charlie. "I know you are. I am too, but… it's <em>my reality.</em> I went into my marriage with the intent of thick and thin. I took a vow in front of my friends and family. I never intended to ever leave her, no matter how bad things got. I mean, shit. We literally fucked other people. But…that… there is no coming back from that. I can never trust her. No matter how much I can understand, and I do. I do understand. And when I do, it hurts even more because I blame myself. And maybe your right I need closure…”</p><p>"It's not your fault. You did the best you could."</p><p>"I know that. But there was always more I could do. And all I ever thought about was how much more I could have done to have just prevented all this." Jensen looked at Charlie, realizing what he said. "I don't mean to say I regret meeting you. I don't. I don't regret it at all. If anything. I regret the way we met, the timing, and everything you walked into, but…"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>“I’m so sorry.”</p><p>"You can't help who you love, Jensen. Or how, for that matter. I’m not gonna say I like it. I don’t, but… I have absolutely no control over it. I could sit here and be the jealous overbearing girlfriend… or I can trust you and let life happen."</p><p>"I don't want to lose you. I don’t want to lose this. Waking up in the morning, seeing you, sleeping and beautiful. Coming home, and you are here. Going to bed with you. Day in and day out. I fucking love it. You give me a reason to smile and care. I know you staying here isn’t forever, and I know you have to settle on where to land your feet, but…you’re a part of my life now, Charlie. No matter what, I-I will always, always want you in my life. Everyday. I will always want this.”</p><p>“And I will always want you. You don’t have to persuade me, Jensen. I know. But, what I’m saying, I guess. Is if your heart… if you ever decided walking away from her was the biggest mistake of your life, I would be broken, but I would never stop you. When you love someone, you don't hold them back or push them into a corner. For what, so you can resent me. That's selfish. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. I told you in the beginning, you would always be a part of my life. I still have hopes for you and Mish.” He rolled his eyes. “I can't see the future. I don't know what's going to happen. If we wind up together forever, I would be the happiest person alive, but… I'm a realist. Mainly because nothing in my life has even just… been good. And that's my shit. My constant fear of waiting for an invisible shoe to drop. Because to me…nothing is ever cut and dry. Nothing worth having comes easy. I never went into this relationship with the assumption you would be mine forever.” She smiled. “I kinda just thought I’d let this super-hot, tall and strong actor that I’d seen here and there take advantage of me until you came to your senses or until I came to mine. But… clearly that hasn’t happened yet.” She chuckled.</p><p>“I don’t want it to ever happen,” Jensen laughed back.</p><p>The Thursday before Charlie and Jensen headed to Texas, Charlie wanted to spend a day at the studio. She touched base with Jared and Olivia and spent some time with Misha. Feeling the need to ‘clear the air in person. Finally having her face-to-face time with her favorite blue-eyed pretend angel. The moment Misha walked into Jensen’s trailer as Jensen was gone movie star things, she whacked him on the shoulder.</p><p>“That is for keeping all this shit from me!” She hits him again. “And that is for putting me in all this-this-this…just this!”</p><p>“Ow. Jeez. Don’t piss off, Charlie. Got it,” Misha yelled as she tried to evade her assaults. “But you’re going to have to be more specific.”</p><p>"Specific? Specific?! Oh, Charlotte, come to my big old fancy movie star set and meet my hot, brooding, emotionally vulnerable, and sexually susceptible hot friend and fall all over him. But, oh, let me leave out the fact that I have fucked said friend. Oh, and his wife. Oh, and my wife was kinda thrown in there somewhere. Oh, oh! And by the way, I had, just for a small time, a small, just slight little crush on you. And even though I am clsarly I closet freak! I have no sexual desires to you at all. I’ll see you at work next week!”</p><p>"Wow, that was a mouth full. Sure there isn’t another sentence or two rolling around in there.”</p><p>Charlie scoffed, "Misha!"</p><p>"Well, what did you want me to say, Charlie? Or do? Tell Jensen? Make him feel… jealous. I mean, his wife just cheated on him. You see how he is with you. You were already tied to me from the beginning with the festival. Us in close connection. Then everything with Danneel. All I saw were the workings of Jensen getting upset. You getting hurt. I mean, in retrospect… I was probably wrong to assume. But still… So, I was his ear to fall on about you. It was difficult for him to talk to Jared. And Jared understands because of Gen and Danneel. Danneel and Vicky aren't that close. Vicky… kinda does her thing."</p><p>"Yeah, I noticed." I hope I’m more like Vicky.</p><p>“And the whole… be having a crush on you,” he chuckled. “If the roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing.” Charlie shrugged a bit. <strong><em>I guess. But… it’s just awkward now.</em></strong> “Please forgive me… I wasn’t trying to"</p><p>Charlie moves to hug him tight, not being able to get annoyed or angry at him. "-be deceptive. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it,” she mutters beside his ear as they hug. <strong><em>Should I be doing this? Do I hug him? Yes. You hug him, Charlie. It's Misha. But should I hug him when Jensen's not around?</em></strong></p><p>Charlie quickly moved out of his hug, then sits back down on the stool in front of her laptop. She stared off at a random speck on the counter, lost in thought.</p><p>Misha sat across from her, watching and trying to figure out what to say next. “Are you okay? Do you need to hit me again? I can’t handle it.”</p><p>She smiled. "No. I'm fine. I just…trying to stay ground and level minded is all."</p><p>"And how is that working for you?"</p><p>She scoffs with a chuckle. “It has its moments…” she smiled. Misha gave her a tender knowing smile. “Stop looking at me like that?”</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"Like…like…I don't know. Like I’m the most precious thing you’ve ever seen. Stop it.”</p><p>"You really love him, don’t you?”</p><p>“Does that honestly surprise you?”</p><p>"The falling in love with him, no. Especially him falling in love with you…but… just how deeply you do, does.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, lost for a second. “Misha? Can I ask you something?”</p><p>"I think at this point, Charlie. You can ask me anything."</p><p>“Are…what happened…with you and Danneel? I know why she fell apart with Jensen, but… what about you? I know the two of you still keep the peace, but… I also sense there is a divide. I’m just trying to…”</p><p>“No. You’re fine. I know there is a lot. And I know we weren’t very forthcoming, but that's only because-"</p><p>“Of how complicated everything was… yeah. I know.”</p><p>"So he told you about everything?"</p><p>"By everything, you mean the failed conception that ended being their fail marriage. Yeah. I know. You don’t talk about her. No one talks about her. But I've always gotten a sense she meant a lot to a lot of people. And doing what she did… I don’t want to hate her, Misha. I don't know her. But he's heartbroken. I can feel it.”</p><p>"He doesn't talk about her to me… much. And if I'm being front, I think part of the reason he keeps it from you is that, well, he didn't want to paint Danneel in a certain light. Danneel was very unhappy,” Misha began. Charlie’s eyes shoot to him. “I’ll be honest here, Charlie. Because… you’re right. I let you walk into something far more complicated than I realized. That wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry.”</p><p>"I know. It's okay."</p><p>"But then again, as I said, neither of us. None of us expected to love and respect you as we do. And I know what you're thinking… How or why would Danneel be so unhappy with him?"</p><p>"I used to think that… but… now I get it. That kinda loss leaves a hole. I don’t know. When I found out about Danneel’s… it gave me something to relate to. I have to meet her soon, and I’m-I’m scared, Mish.” She finally admits.</p><p>"You don’t have to be scared. Why?"</p><p>“Because I know I’m going to see everything he fell in love with, and I’m not going to feel like I’m enough. I already feel like that. Like he’s going to wake up and realize his mistake.”</p><p>"Of course, your enough, Charlotte.” He raised his voice.</p><p>“Everyone needs to stop acting like them, us, what we are is so cut in dry. Why am I the only person who sees the possibilities of what’s to come? When we met, I was strung out on a dead fiancé and he was a temperamental divorcee. Sure, we’ve progressed, but the foundation of our fucking relationship is complicated pasts and sex!”</p><p>“No one thinks it's cut and dry. Everyone is trying to move on in the best way they can. I can’t put to words what you and Jensen have. But the last time I checked, passion, intimacy, solace… that’s what we all want… isn’t it. It’s not like that’s all you are too each other. Like you two haven’t learned anything about one another since beginning all this. When it comes to Danneel, we were close. We still are, but you’re right… there is a divide. I understand why she did what she did, but…more of how is what I didn’t respect. And when it became a point to pick sides… I inevitably chose Jensen.”</p><p>"I’d choose, Jensen.”</p><p>"Exactly. But am I just clouded? Biased? It would have been hard either way. But…I’ve been through it with Vicky. Never fidelity, but… to keep a marriage going. I was there to be something for her. Sex wasn’t my intention, or idea… but, hey. To each is own. And I get the mistake…. I will always adore Danneel. And I know eventually we’ll be okay. But right now, she’s trying to start over with someone new. As is Jensen, and I… well, as you can tell… I complicate things.”</p><p>The idea of Misha thinking of himself in that way upset Charlie. Making her feel even worse about everything between them. "Awe…Misha," Charlie whined, "You’re going to make me cry. You're amazing. You don't complicate things. You make things better.”</p><p>Misha chucked until he saw tears, "Oh, my god. You're actually crying.” He got up to wrap his arms around her. Holding her. “I’m having a womanly week. I’m sorry. That just hit a nerve. I’m fine.” She sniffled. “You better not tell Jensen.”</p><p>Misha chuckled. "Well. You didn't get pregnant this month. That’s happy-worthy. Right?” He said, trying to cheer her up. She giggled and pushed him away.</p><p>“Not for lack of trying, That’s for sure.” She said, wiping a tear.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Charlie? Talk to me?"</p><p>"God, you sound like Jensen.”</p><p>"Would you prefer me to sound more like Castiel?" He adjusts his neck, "Charlie, what is it?"</p><p>Charlie laughs, hearing his Castiel voice. “You’re so stupid, Misha.” She laughs some more. “You’re also kinda awesome too. Thank you.”</p><p>"Seriously, are you okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. And I know I say yeah, a lot when I'm not. But I am, I'm just... I'm about to go to Texas and meet his daughter and … people and…”</p><p>"Hormones and female insecurities are getting in the way.”</p><p>She gives him a straight face. "Way to say, in a nice way, but not so nice way, I’m being a woman.”</p><p>"Well, for one. Women are power fucking creatures. You included. So that would be a compliment rather than an insult.” He chuckled. “I don’t think your being irrational. However, I do think your insecurities are affecting you. Just like they do, Jensen."</p><p>"Jensen doesn't have insecurities."</p><p>Misha laughs like it was a joke. "Nooo, he's just had twenty years of acting and forty years of being a man up his sleeve. He can hide it pretty well. He’s not open or showing about it… not even with me but trust me. They’re there.”</p><p>"I need to start talking to you and Jared more often. I get the juicy stuff from you guys." She laughs.</p><p>“What are friends for?” He laughed.</p><p>After getting some details about the interview and potential starting projects when she starts Random, Charlie headed back to the apartment to get ready for their flight to Texas. She tried keeping her nerves in check about meeting everyone she heard so much about over the last three months, and what everyone would think of her. Including Danneel, but especially his daughter. <strong><em>Jesus, she six years old, Charlie. She isn’t going to bite your head off.</em></strong> <strong><em>But what if she doesn’t like me? Pretty sure that would be a deal breaker…</em></strong></p><p>After filming, Jensen picked Charlie up, as they headed to the airport. While he waited downstairs in the car, Charlie casually checked her social media as she stood in the elevator heading down to him. Her eyes popped out of her head when she saw the number of notifications across all her accounts. She then saw Jensen publicly confirmed they were dating on his Instagram account. He posted a photo of the two of them a couple of hours ago and didn't tell her. <strong><em>Fucker.</em></strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Bonfire photo: The picture was of the two of them after her mother's wedding. No doubt, taken my Maggie. Charlie is sitting next to Jensen on the seat with her feet resting over his legs. They were snuggling together, Charlie under Jensen’s hoodie for warmth. In the photo, Charlie was looking up to Jensen with their faces inches apart. At the same time Maggie took the shot, Jensen turned his head towards the camera. Facing Charlie and unintentionally giving the camera an amazing shot. It showed him as he moved in to kiss her with his hat hiding the top of her face. The front top part of his hat covering parts of both their faces. Leaving the image showing just their lips and both Charlie and Jensen smiling into it each other. Looking so in love and carefree at that moment. Jensen’s perfect smile and teeth paired with Charlie's plump lips grazing each other, readying for a kiss. Their bodies were pressed together firmly, and the light from the fire contrasted perfectly to the desert night sky behind them. The gleam of the fire, hitting nicely on her diamond necklace around her neck, adding a perfect little touch. It was a beautiful moment and an even better photo.)</p><p>Like by misha, jaredpadalecki and 758,804 others</p><p>jensenackles: Thank you for being my light in those tender moments of darkness. To more moments like this @charliemaeson. 🤍 </p><p>(📸: @photomaggieitis)</p><p>alexandercalver <strong>🔥🔥🔥</strong></p><p>samsmithgrams Beautiful!!! ❤️❤️</p><p>officialbrianab Finally! <strong>💗💗💗</strong></p><p>photomaggieitis That’s my girl! So happy for the both of you! Watchin’ you @jensenackles 😆...😑.      </p><p>
  <em>                                                                                                                                                            Like by misha, charliemaeson and 3,937 others</em>
</p><p>nowandgen Ahh! So happy for you. <strong>💗</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Charlie's heart swelled, and she wanted to cry it was so perfect but cheesy, and she loved it. <strong><em>Sweet, charming, and adorable little fucker.</em></strong>  The photo was posted a couple of hours ago and already got close to over 750,000 likes. Followers, tags, likes, and comments followed on all her social media accounts. And again, she made the mistake of going through the comments. Of course, there were the anti-Charlies, which she hated. Going on about how she was the reason Danneel, and Jensen broke up, or she was only with him for his money. She didn't understand how people could be so against her when they didn't even know her. But there were also the <em>‘Chensen’</em>and ‘<em>Meackles</em>’ lovers. The one’s that revoiced when they saw Jensen with Charlie. Finally getting a confirmation to all the rumors and theories circling. They were the ones that reassured her it was okay. She was out. And she remembered a conversation with Jensen, the first time the topic of her and him and the public came up, that she would find a sense of solace and appreciation for them. Jensen was right. Because it wasn’t just about her, they cared about Jensen. They wanted Jensen happy, and that made her content.</p><p> “Welp, guess we’re official.” She said to herself, liking the post and a few comments from their friends and ‘Meackles’ lovers. Well, as many as she could in the short time she had. Charlie knew things were going to get crazier now. She wasn’t nervous anymore though, she became accustomed to it. She learned the little things along the way, like don't look when someone on the street calls her name or avoid all comments, calls, emails, or press inquiring. Be mindful who you talk or open up to. Thankfully Jensen wasn't a Kardashian, and Charlie was a nobody. So the extra attention was doable. <strong><em>Annoying but doable.</em></strong></p><p>When she got to the last floor, she speed-walked to the SUV, saying ‘Hello’ and ‘Thank you’ to Cliff with a wave as he grabbed her luggage.</p><p>Charlie jumped into the car, looking right at him.</p><p>“Hey you,” Jensen greets her. Moving in for a kiss when she finally sat next to him, after missing her all day.</p><p>Charlie kissed him back. “Tender moments of darkness’?” She asked with a laugh.</p><p>“You like that, huh?”</p><p>"So we're officially official now?"</p><p>“Yeah, I figured it was about time.”</p><p>“Way to give a girl a heads up. Almost passed out on the elevator, Mr. Sweet Talker.”</p><p>"You love it."</p><p>"I do. Thank you. For the fifty million followers, extra attention, and most of all," she moved forward, giving him another kiss, "Thank you for being mine.”</p><p>“You are very welcome.”</p><p>As they drove to the airport, Charlie rested on his shoulder. Trying to feel at ease about heading to Texas. Looking out the window, and again feeling a contrast to the many first… the first night her and Jensen drove together. How nervous she felt. Sitting next to him, looking out the window and thinking about what would happen when they got to his place.</p><p>Charlie smiled to herself. Curling herself into him more. Savoring his warmth and smell. Jensen wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and in that moment, Charlie knew everything would be fine. The idea of meeting Danneel and JJ in the next 24 hours still nagged at her. All she could ever think about were the men her mother would bring around her, and she hated every single one.<strong><em> Shit, I’m a fucking full-grown adult and still don’t like any of them… </em></strong>But Charlie swallowed the fear. She knew whatever his daughter felt towards her, she wouldn't be able to change, and the only thing she could do was be supportive, understanding, and accept whatever comes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Red Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><div class="s3">
  <p>
    <strong><span class="s2"><span class="bumpedFont15">EXCLUSIVE: [PHOTOS] Jensen Ackles Found a New Relationship After Split with Wife Danneel Ackles</span> </span> </strong>
  </p>
</div><p class="s6">
  <em> <span class="s4">BY</span>  <span class="s5">AIMEE LEARY</span> </em>
</p><p class="s7">
  <em> <span class="s4">UPDATED</span>  <span class="s4">12 HOURS AGO</span> </em>
</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">
  <em> <span class="s4">[Photos show Jensen and Charlie’s IG bonfire photo and a few others of them dancing and together at the wedding.] </span> </em>
</p><p class="s12"><em> <span class="s8">Jensen Ackles </span></em><span class="s10">addressed his </span> <span class="s10">relationship </span> <span class="s9">with</span>  <span class="s8">Charlie Maeson</span> <em>(@charliemaeson)</em><span class="s9"> for the first time, </span> <span class="s10">sharing a photo of the two sitting cozy and kissing next to a</span> <span class="s10">fire while at a wedding in Scottsdale, Arizona, this weekend. The legally separated actor attended a wedding with his new girlfriend, <em>Charlie Maeson </em></span>and set fans astray. <span class="s9">The two were even reported being very</span> <span class="s11"> intimate.</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s11">Maeson, a Seattle-based marketing director, h</span><span class="s11">ad been spotted off and on in Vancouver and conventions</span><span class="s11">, where Ackles was set to be</span><span class="s11">.</span><span class="s11"> Even joining Ackles and fellow actor Misha Collins on stage a few weeks ago, not at all alluding to the now confirmed relationship.</span> <span class="s10">Details on how the couple met have yet to be confirmed. </span><span class="s10">H</span><span class="s10">owever multiple witnesses have come forward to say the two have been dating for some time. Maybe even before Ackles' split from his wife of 10 years <em>Danneel Ackles (@danneelackles512</em>)?</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s10">So, who is Charlie Maeson? Few people can hold a candle to the loveliness of actor</span> <span class="s10"> Jensen Ackles' new girlfriend. The sultry brunette beauty is a</span> <span class="s10">researcher, humanitarian, and </span> <span class="s10">prominent </span> <span class="s10">influencer. </span> <span class="s9">Her relationsh</span><span class="s9">ip with </span> <span class="s10">Jensen </span> <span class="s9">aside, Maeson has carved out a career and presence that's all her own. Showing off her philanthropic influences on social media and using her superpowers for good. She</span> <span class="s10"> has worked with a variety of charities over the years including, Misha Collins’ non-profit</span> <span class="s10">,</span> <span class="s10"> Random Acts.</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s10">With the final season of Supernatural on the horizon, recurring talent Misha Collins reportedly brought Maeson on as a consultant for the upcoming </span> <em> <strong> <span class="s13">#Sup</span><span class="s13">erActsFinaleFestival (#SAFF)</span> <span class="s14">. </span> </strong> </em> <span class="s10">But</span> <span class="s10">not only was Ms. Maeson a benefactor of some of the many projects and charities Random Acts</span> <span class="s10">contributes to</span> <span class="s10">, but the lovely lady is reportedly moving over to their operations. We were able to confirm Charlie is in line to become a part of </span><span class="s10">Random’s Board of Directors.</span></p><p class="s12"><em> <span class="s10">“It’s a role within the organization that has been specifically </span> <span class="s10">tailored</span> <span class="s10"> to her</span> <span class="s10"> while also taking on a critical advisory role</span> </em> <span class="s10"><em>,</em>” Susan </span> <span class="s15">McNeils, head of </span> <span class="s15">Public</span> <span class="s15"> Relations for Random Acts, said</span> <span class="s15"> during a call with us</span> <span class="s15">.</span> <span class="s10"> “</span><em><span class="s10">With her ex</span><span class="s10">perience and ability to influence, in addition to the </span><span class="s10">recognition</span><span class="s10"> Random gets from </span><span class="s10">its</span> <span class="s10">affiliations</span><span class="s10"> to ‘</span><span class="s10">Supernatural’</span><span class="s10">, and its actors, her experience, </span><span class="s10">education</span><span class="s10">, and innovative thinking can do wonders for not only Random but overall </span><span class="s10">charity</span><span class="s10"> efforts. We are more than excited to have </span><span class="s10">her on the team</span><span class="s10">.</span></em> <span class="s10">”</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s10">On paper,</span><span class="s10"> Maeson</span><span class="s10"> is a catch</span><span class="s10">.</span> <span class="s10">A</span><span class="s10">dd that with her exquisite beauty, it becomes no wonder what caught Ackles' eye. </span><span class="s10">Maeson</span><span class="s10"> is passionate about lending her support to several non-profits that bring awareness to mental health. With two degrees from New York University and Washington State University, Charlie published a thesis in 2016 relating to her field of Psychology a</span><span class="s10">nd has been credited on other research articles. She's educated and by all accounts </span><span class="s10">a </span><span class="s10">respectable figure in her industry and a force to be reckoned with.</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s10">In 2014, Charlie experienced the unimaginable loss of her fiancé </span><span class="s10">to suicide</span><span class="s10">,</span> <span class="s10">a</span><span class="s10">fter </span><span class="s10">he </span><span class="s10">battl</span><span class="s10">ed</span><span class="s10"> mental illness for years. Encouraging Charlie to promote charities and causes </span><span class="s10">pertaining to suicide prevention and mental health awareness.</span><span class="s10"> We learned Charlie's father, <em>Silas Maeson</em>, was a well-known and popular performer in California during the '80s and '90s. Even </span><span class="s10">an</span><span class="s10">alumnus of Los Angeles Philharmonic</span><span class="s10">.</span><span class="s10"> O</span><span class="s10">nly to leave behind his performance background to raise a daughter and a fine one at that. In January 2018, Maeson shared a video of her father, circa 1994, teaching little Charlie, in a stunning red vintage velvet dress, how to play the violin captioned </span><span class="s10">,<em> "Remember this day like it was yesterday. Can't believe it has been ten years. Miss you more than you know.</em>" paying respects to the 10th anniversary of her father's passing in 2008</span><span class="s10">.</span></p><p class="s12"><span class="s10">I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited to see where this</span> <span class="s10"> duo goes. With Ackles' long-lasting career as a TV ghostbuster, people are interested in finding out where he will take his career after '<em>Supernatural</em>'</span> <span class="s10">,</span> <span class="s10"> which makes its final debut this May on the CW.</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Into The Mystic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So this is how a millionaire lives, "Charlie said as she finally walked into Jensen's home, after they landed around 3AM from their flight.</p><p>“Oh, shush,” Jensen said, closing the door behind her. “Sorry about the mess.”</p><p>Jensen goes around turning on lights so she could see. Charlie looks around at the setup and seeing the house partly in order. Like someone lives here, but not enough to care. It was fully furnished but there were boxes here and there. The air smelled so familiar, of Jensen, but also different, new.</p><p>"You're not here enough to care. I get it.”</p><p>“Pretty much. You want a tour? Or are you still tired from the flight?”</p><p>"I was, but being here… I'm wide awake," she laughed. "Kinda felt like I was never going to see your home.”</p><p>“Well, now you’re here. Come on, let me show you around.”</p><p>Jensen pulled her hand, keeping her close and guiding her through the house as Charlie bounced with excitement, and Jensen, laughing at her. She was expecting a small bachelor pad of some sort, but it was a decent-sized house. He took her up upstairs first, showing her his master bedroom. When she walked in, there was a hallway maybe ten feet across covered in an array of pictures. Big pictures and small pictures. Photopahtpy and random moments.</p><p>“Everything on these walls I took myself."</p><p>Charlie looked surprised at him, then began to examine each photo. As she kept going, she noticed they were beautiful moments throughout the last twenty years or so. Some with people she didn’t know, some she did. A lot were from conventions, the set. There were a lot of JJ, but mostly photography moments. There were photos of Danneel. His parents. Family. Scenery. Little moments he took here and there. One of Charlie’s favorites of them all, being a black and white one of baby JJ. She was maybe a year old, holding a flower. Staring at it like it was the most complex thing in the world. Her green eyes making different variations of gray in the color scale. Her little chubby hand firm around the green stock. It was a beautiful moment.</p><p>“Is this what you and Maggie would talk about? Photography.”</p><p>"Amongst other things," Jensen says with a smile. “Kinda how we got into the discussion of her experience and things she was working towards.”<br/>“And how she is now working on a high budget movie production,” Charlie smiled looking at him.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>He took her into the rest of his room. Once you got past the hallway of memories, you walked into the grand bedroom. To the left was a closet, a big one. On the right was his master bath, equipped with a standing shower, hot tub, and patio view of the lake. The rest of the room was painted gray with accents of oak wood. Everything was made of wood besides whatever was made of a rug or fabric. The room was simple designed. His king-size bed sheets simple variations of blue. And the rugs a shade of gray tieing everything in together. Straight across were double doors that led to the patio, and all around were wall-sized windows, covered in beautiful drapes. There was even a little seating area in front of the windows, and on the adjacent wall, in front of the bed, a huge TV.<strong><em> Men.</em></strong></p><p>"I cleared some space for you in my closet. If you need more, let me know." Jensen said, walking over to the blinds and pulling one making the other on the opposite side follow and opening the room to a gorgeous night view of lake Austin. The twinkling lights far off in the distance. The water, shining in the night, and the glow of the rest of the house downstairs. For a second, she was reminded of their little tryst at the dock, the night they hooked up for the first time. When Jensen took her to the lighthouse, away from others and noise, just to be alone with her. The first night they kissed, and the ever-present visceral need for one another began. Charlie couldn’t help but smile. Again, feeling at her necklace.</p><p>“Penny for your thoughts.” Jensen said, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder as she stares out into the night, lost in thought.</p><p>“The light house… the night we kissed."</p><p>Jensen laughs, remembering. “I remember that night.”<br/>“I waited the whole time for you to get there. I kept watching the door. And when I thought you weren’t coming… I remember being so disappointed.”<br/>“I eventually showed up.”</p><p>Charlie turned around in his arms, smiling and feeling nostalgic. “I saw you at the bar… I didn’t want to lose the night with you. I spent all that time waiting, distracted. No one else was going to talk to you but me,” She laughed. “I remember getting up and going to you. Which was so unlike me.”<br/>He smiled, remembering, “Yes.”<br/>“But… you were this enigma… I needed to be near you.”</p><p>“And here we are.”</p><p>Charlie smiled and looked down. “I was ashamed of myself. Kinda.”<br/>“Why?”<br/>“After our first date…”<br/>“‘cause we slept together on the first date?” he laughed. She nodded, looking at him. “You were so innocent then.”</p><p>“Yes. And now you’ve corrupted me.” She smiled, moving in for a kiss.<br/>“Have I? or were you just this little ball of naked fun and no one ever set you free?”<br/>“Maybe,” she blushed.</p><p>Jensen grazed his thumb over her warm cheek, loving the feeling. “Come on. There's more. Then we’ll get you to bed."</p><p>Jensen went on to show her JJ’s room. It was pink and princess/unicorn themed and the most decorated room in the house. He had a big office, full of shelves and books, photos and his awards. There was a side room for his music and instruments. Over in the corner of his office was a small desk, no doubt for JJ when she was over, and it was adorable. As they kept going, there was also a spacious guest room. When he brought her downstairs, there was a full playroom for his daughter. A large kitchen and dining room. A back den with another huge TV and it looked like Jensen’s man cave which had stairs that led down to the basement which had a bar. The bar had a full set up, a keg, bottles of liquor, bourbons, and whiskeys galore. Along the bar were stools which led you to a turn table and a wall of vinyl’s leading to the corner of the basement. In the corner was a pool table and patio that led out to the pool and backyard. Giving you a full view of Lake Austin. Leading you to a trail to walk alongside the water.</p><p>After the tour, they settled in. Charlie getting a tired Jensen to make love to her as she felt nostalgic and emotional, having finally made it to his house. Getting to be there with him. After, she let him fall asleep in her arms, and loving the feeling of him on top of her. Jensen wasn’t supposed to get JJ until the next day, after she finishes school. But he had meetings with show execs about his final episode as a director, logistics, schedules, and what not. Charlie made sure she was up before him to make sure he was up for his meetings. She planned on getting herself organized, having been away from work, schedules, and duties for a bit. After the interview, she was going to head back to Vancouver for a couple weeks. Catching base with Olivia, Misha and Celeste, since she took the job as Misha’s assistant and will be starting in January. Charlie also agreed to have her be something of an apprentice, since Misha will not be needing an assistant as much as he needed Olivia. This will also allow Celeste to learn from Charlie and build her knowledge alongside Misha as he wanted her more involved with Random things, since Olivia was geared toward Supernatural. Before going back to work, Charlie will be taking some time to see Maggie and cross some things off her to-do list.</p><p>She woke early the next morning with an overwhelming sense of nerves and excitement. She decided to go for a run. Taking almost five minutes just to figure out how to leave the house with Jensen's gated entry. She felt good going on a run, and even better than it was in a place she had never been. She remembered Jensen mentioning Jared lived east of him on a different street, so she ran in that direction. Wondering if she was running by their house. She didn't know what she expected of Austin, but she loved it so far. When she got off his community streets, she ran towards the lake, following a trail and then across a bridge, sending her to a whole different side of Austin she wasn't expecting. There were beautiful parks and views and boats and not even three miles down the road, a slew of mom-and-pop shops, not a Walmart or CVS insight. She loved it. The earth and culture. The graffiti and the smiles and waving people. It was so warm and welcoming, not to mention a perfect temperature at the beginning of November to go running. Charlie didn't want to admit it quite yet, but she just fell in love with a town.</p><p>When she got back, Jensen was working. So, she headed into the shower. After she dressed and headed into the den to work, she checked her phone and found a text from Danneel.</p><p> </p><p>Danneel: Hey, I know we said Sunday morning at 10AM, but something last minute just popped up, and I might not be able to make it. I’m sorry to do this, but would it be possible to reschedule?</p><p> </p><p>Charlie saw the message was sent over an hour ago and wanted to immediately respond.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: No worries! We can definitely reschedule for after the meeting if that’s better. I’m going to be leaving Austin Monday night… maybe we can squeeze something in the next time I am in here. Just let me know! I can give you some dates. Hope everything is well. Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie blew off the text. A part of her thought maybe Danneel canceled at the last minute because she didn’t want to meet and only agreed because Jensen asked her. But she was also relieved. As much as things have been going good and maybe talking to Danneel would put everything in perspective better, the whole situation is just awkward, and Charlie didn’t want to deal with it.</p><p>“You boys are going to have a busy week next week. Misha's dropping his book. You have a meeting after meeting about your final episode, and you're droppin' your album that you’re soooo secretive about next Friday." Charlie says as Jensen settles in next to her on the couch. Snuggling up to her, after being in his office all morning.</p><p>He laughs, "It's a surprise."</p><p>"For me? Or in general? Oh, lord." She began to smile wide, climbing on top of him on the couch, "Did you write a song for me? You cheesy cowboy.” Playing around.</p><p>“You’ll hear it.” Jensen smiled then paused for a second, looking her over. “So, speaking of me directing.”</p><p>"Did they like your pitch for the episode?"</p><p>"They did. I'm still working out the kinks. Our lead guest just backed out. Gonna have to squeeze in auditions next week. While your down there."</p><p>"Okay, that's fine. Wanted to catch up with Olivia anyway. Start brainstorming with Mish. I can keep myself busy."</p><p>"Hmm, not too busy. She smirked. “But. I kinda wanted to ask you something.”</p><p>Charlie smiles at his demeanor and the way he presented the topic. She chuckles.“What’s up?’</p><p>"So, you know I'm directing an upcoming episode of the show, and filming is about two months out?"</p><p>"Yeah? You've been driving yourself nuts about it."</p><p>"Well, there is a small part that the actress we had set for the role, had to fall out at the last-minute cause of scheduling conflict."</p><p>“So, you’re without?”</p><p>“For now, yes.”</p><p>"Okay?" She said, wondering where he is going with this.</p><p>“Audition for it.” he finally says.</p><p>Charlie looked at him, flabbergasted. "What?" she nervously laughs. "For the part?" Jensen nods, biting his lip. "Jensen, I'm not an actress. I can barely go on stage at a convention, let alone audition for a role on a very well-liked and followed show. I wouldn't even know how to be professional with that. I don’t even know how to audition for a-a, I don’t know.”</p><p>"Well, for you there would be a quick reading, or a chemistry read, if you will. Then eventually, there will be an audition in front of the producers and others.”</p><p>“And you?”<br/>“I am the director, so yes. And me.”</p><p><strong><em>I guess I kinda like the sound of that. Nope. Nope. Nope. Wait?..</em></strong>.“Chemistry read? With, who?!”</p><p>“Me.” He gave her a cheeky smile.</p><p>“Oh god, what is it? Some diner bimbo, you fuck?”</p><p>"No, a fairy. Just one episode, maybe twenty lines, and that's it."</p><p>"Why me? Don't you guys have a laundry list of people who would kill for this? And probably be more qualified. Actually, completely more qualified."</p><p>"Well, yeah. Thats why I said audition. I'm not saying you have the part. I don't have the final say. I mean, I'm the director. I have say, but I need the producer and showrunners to sign off. I wanted to ask you too." He moved forward to give her a sweet kiss. "I'd rather kiss you. And I kinda want you in the show. You know. Like part of the, what is it you call us 'the cool kids club'."</p><p>Charlie giggled. “Yeah.” Jensen just looks at her. “I have … Random and…Kiss? You’re kissing someone?” Charlie asked. Kind of knowing it was part of his job, but also kinda wanting it to be her this time. <strong><em>Not gonna lie…I kinda wanna kiss Dean Winchester.</em></strong></p><p>"Yeah, but it’s not like that. And filming isn't even until January. It takes two weeks to film an episode. That's it. Two weeks. You can do both."</p><p>Charlie could see the excitement in his eyes. “You’re genuinely serious?! Why me?”</p><p>“‘Cause I think you’d be a nice touch. You fit the description. You can do the stunts. You’re all wrapped up in this world. I kinda want you to be a part of it. I remember how excited you were when you visited in the beginning. Telling me how it changed your perspective on the whole show-biz stuff. How you loved the art dynamic of it all. Be part of it. See it all. With having your name in the reports, figured… what's the worst that could happen. You’re already known. Also, I think it’ll open you up a bit. It’s a small role.”</p><p>Charlie thought…"You said fairy?"</p><p>"Yeah, but a cute little fairy." He gave her a peck, trying to sweeten her up.</p><p>“Is it a naked little cute fairy? If I’m a little fire ball fairy and I get to kick your ass, I’m in.”</p><p>Jensen laughed, resting his forehead against her shoulder. "No. Silly girl. Normal-sized fairy. Beautiful. Whimsical. Badass. <em>Like you.</em> Like the episode with the LARP’ing and Charlie. Well, the show, Charlie.”</p><p>She looked away and thought hard at that moment. She didn't want to let Jensen down. He looked excited. <strong><em>What's the pain in trying? Some would kill for the chance to even audition.</em></strong> But she also wanted to give herself some time to think everything over. <strong><em>I'll probably be rejected anyway. I can't stand in front of a bunch of people and… act…effectively. </em></strong></p><p>“And, you already know everyone. It’s just a matter of breaking that wall. Or building one up, depending on how it works for you,” Jensen adds.</p><p>Charlie lets out a deep breath of clarity. "Let me think about it some more. It’s not a no. It’s probably a yes. But…just… let me wrap my head around it before I dip my foot into the proverbial world that I would be jumping into. When do I have to let you know by?”</p><p>“Wednesday.” Jensen smiles, "And for what it’s worth, I think you'll surprise yourself.”</p><p>Charlie looked at him, nervous. "So uh, I'm hungry. There is nothing in your fridge. Can you feed me?" Charlie said, trying to divert the conversation.</p><p>"Way to change the subject. Why do I feel like you're not talking about food?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.</p><p>“I<em> was</em> talking about food, but I’m down for that too.” She smiled wide at him and moved forward to take him into a kiss. When she pulled off of him, Jensen was going to respond, but Charlie's phone buzzed with a text, and both stopped, hearing it. Somehow both knowing she had to check it. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw it was Danneel. Her stomach did that weird dropping thing again.</p><p> </p><p>Danneel: No. I don't wanna do that to you. Just gotta get something out of the way before I pick up JJ on Sunday. I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I'm blowing you off. Just kind of all over the place right now. I don't know if you and Jensen had plans for tonight already, but I am still free tonight if you're down for dinner. If not, we can have breakfast on the morning of the interview. Then we can go straight to the office after? My treat. I made myself available in advance for the interview. So I know for sure I will be free. Anyway, just thinking. Sorry, this is so last minute.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie smiles, reading the texts, and had to feel a little sympathetic.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie: I think he just wanted to chill tonight, but more so with his daughter. 🤣 So, I’ll make sure tonight is good and get back to you. If not, we can definitely do the morning of the interview.</p><p>Danneel: Awesome. Let me know.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, babe? You mind if I have a dinner date tonight and let you have some free time with your girl," Charlie asked Jensen.</p><p>Jensen's head goes back a bit. "Who do you know in Austin?"</p><p>"Umm, well. For one, you, Jared…<em>Danneel</em>…kinda<em>.</em>”</p><p>His eyebrows flew up. "Are you having a dinner date with my ex-wife?" he asked, amused.</p><p>“Only if you’re okay with it?”</p><p>He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it."</p><p>"I don't know. I didn't know if you had plans for us. I know you said you wanted to relax.”</p><p>"I thought maybe we could go to Jared and Gen's, since you haven't met Gen, but we can do it Sunday. I think they would prefer Sunday since I’m assuming you’re not going to breakfast.”</p><p>“Okay…Guess I’m going on a date with Danneel Ackles,” she smiled, acting stupid as she was typing her response back to Danneel, “What?” Jensen just shook his head at her. “Fine… I may…may have watched a few One Tree Hill episodes in my day. So, I may, <em>may</em> have known who Danneel was… I mean, come on, Rachel Gatina was like the quintessential bitch. MTV spring break. She was hot.”</p><p>“Okay. Um…Are you telling me you have the hots for Dee? Also, this entire time you never told me.”</p><p>"No. I'm telling you I am a woman who admires the beauty of all living things. And, why would I tell you that?”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”</p><p>"You know why."</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, Alright. Fine…Well. You two have fun tonight. Bring protection.”</p><p>"Yes, sir. Will do." She pushed him off her with a laugh and got up, grabbing his hand and begins pulling him towards the upstairs to his room.</p><p>“Where are we going?”</p><p>"To feed me. And yes, that was a double entendre. Suck it.” Charlie laughed. “Ah! That was another one. I am on a role.”</p><p>“God, I fucking love you.”</p><p>After Jensen 'fed Charlie,' they had a few hours before Jensen had to pick up JJ. So, they fooled around, knowing it may be the last chance they were going to get before Charlie got her period.</p><p>After, they fooled around, and Charlie treated Jensen to lunch. Both finally able to just be free with one another in public. It was no longer a secret. They were dating. So they chose a little café with a private outside garden and spent some time together.</p><p>“Thank you for lunch,” Jensen said, moving in to give Charlie a kiss.</p><p>“Well, thank you for finding my G-spot this morning.”</p><p>"Oh, you are more than welcome.”</p><p>Charlie laughed moving in to kiss him again. They spent a few hours in town. Mostly Jensen, showing her around and stopping off a few places for Charlie to shop. When it was time to get JJ, Charlie stayed at the house while Jensen drove to the school. Nervously waiting for them to come back. When Jensen walked into the house with his little person in tow, she was blown away by how absolutely adorable she was. Getting a quick glance from her before she hid behind his leg, being shy.<strong><em> Oh my god, she looks just like Jensen. Just </em></strong><strong><em>a tiny, girl version. Holy shit.</em></strong></p><p>“Hiiiii,” Charlie beamed, seeing her. “Hi there. My name’s Charlie.”</p><p>Jensen smiles and looks behind himself, down at his daughter. “Sweetie, do you remember daddy’s friend, Charlie?”</p><p>"Yes," she says in her sweet and childlike voice. "Hi, Charlie," she says, coming from behind him, finally letting Charlie see her.</p><p>“Hi there, beautiful. It's lovely to finally meet you. What’s your name?”</p><p>"Justice, but everyone calls me JJ."</p><p>Charlie chuckles, “Then I guess I’ll call you JJ. I’ve heard a lot about you.”</p><p>“My daddy says you like to bake.”</p><p>Charlie laughs. “Well, you just cut right to business. Wonder who you get that from.” She looks at Jensen then back down, squatting in front of JJ now, “I love to bake. And I haven't done it in a while. Is that what you had planned for us?" She smiled.</p><p>JJ looks up at her dad, and Jensen nodded, giving her the okay. "Yes. Please. But after homework."</p><p>“Okay. Well. I have a few hours before I have to head out with your mom. We can start something and finish it tomorrow morning. Maybe it would be cool to make her something for when she picks you up. she would love it!”</p><p>JJ smiles and immediately becomes energized. "Yes!"</p><p>"Sweet!" She goes to give her a high five abs JJ meets it. "How about you tackled that homework, and I'll handle the prep."</p><p>JJ nodded with excitement, and she ran off to her room to work on her homework. Jensen following, mouthing, 'I'll be right back to Charlie.</p><p>A few minutes later, they found each other in the kitchen. Charlie, running through the fridge and cabinets.</p><p>“And you were worried she wouldn’t like you. Offering my daughter sweets.”</p><p>Charlie immediately turns around. “Oh, my god. Is she not allowed…?”</p><p>He laughs. “I’m kidding. It’s fine. I mentioned it once that you liked to bake, and she asked me on the way here.”</p><p>“Well, thank you for the bonding material, <em>dad</em>. I probably should have made sure you have everything we needed.” she laughed. “Kinda couldn’t say no to that face.” She gives him a quick look. <strong><em>His fucking face.</em></strong> <strong><em>Just more precious and irresistible. </em></strong></p><p>“She’ll be a while. You can go pick some stuff up while she’s working.”</p><p>Charlie laughed. "I wouldn’t even know where to go.”</p><p>"There's a HEB about ten minutes away." Charlie looks at him, confused. "A food market, Charlie."</p><p>“Oh. Right. All these different states and grocery chains. In Washington is IGA, Arizona it’s Safeway. Here it's HEB?”</p><p>"Well, there is also a Whole Foods, but it's farther."</p><p>“HEB it is.” Charlie walked over to him, grabbing his keys from his hand as he kept lifting them higher and higher into the air, messing with her. Making it more and more impossible for her to reach them with his height. “Fuck you and your tall ass.”</p><p>He laughed. “Hey. Language. There are young minds in the house.”</p><p>“Bite me.”</p><p>He laughed again, Finally letting her have the truck keys. “You know how to drive a trunk?”</p><p>"I drive you, don’t I?” Charlie said, proud of herself.</p><p>He laughed, kinda thrown back by it. Opening his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "Yeah, that one got me."</p><p>She laughs. Moving up to her tippy toes and giving him a kiss. “Do you need anything?”</p><p>“Oh, I need a lot of things.”</p><p>"I meant for sustenance… for your little person.”</p><p>“I’ll look through and see while you’re driving and send you a list.”</p><p>“Hmm. Thorough. Love it. I’ll be back.”</p><p>And Charlie was off. Putting HEB into her phone for directions and driving. She had experience driving a bulky truck before, but it wasn't her forte. Nervous to have anyone scratch or dent the car, she literally parked it away from everyone on the opposite side of the parking lot and walked all the way to the market.</p><p>She grabbed everything she could think of that they would need. And little things she noticed he didn't have, and she might want, along with everything Jensen sent, which were just a few things. She was trying to predict what JJ would want. Getting all the ingredients for iced sugar cookies. <strong><em>Maybe she can write I love mom or something. </em></strong>After another fifteen minutes, she was back in the house in no time. When she got there, using his key to get in, Jensen was upstairs showering, and Charlie began to tidy up in the kitchen and refrigerator. Putting everything away, waiting for JJ to finish her homework. Feeling nervous about her little play date.</p><p>“You don’t have to do that, you know," Jensen said. Surprising her as she was in the fridge making her drop a whole bole of fresh-cut fruit.</p><p>“Awww, I wanted that." She said as she looks down at the fruit on the floor with sadness.</p><p>Jensen rushed over, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Don’t worry about it. I got it.”</p><p>"It's okay. I was concentrating, and it was quiet. You were quiet" Charlie laughed. “I figured we couldn't go wrong with fruit, and she'd probably want a snack, cause, well, I want a snack, but..."</p><p>“Charlie,” she turned her head up to look at him, and he moved into her. Pressing her body against the island behind her and forgetting the spilled fruit. “She’s six. There is nothing you can do that will make her hate you.”</p><p>"I don’t agree.”</p><p>"Fine. There is nothing <em>you, you as a person,</em> can do that will make her hate you. She knows who you are. I talk about you enough to know you're someone important to me, like Misha, Steve, or Jared. Well… Jared’s like an uncle… and he’s kinda been spoiling her since she was 9 inches… but yeah. You get my point. She was excited to meet you. But she was also shy and nervous as well. My two little shy girls.” She pushes him, blushing. “You’re fine. She’s fine. You don’t have to be so nervous. I know you have this fear that she's you… but… I'm not your mom, and Danneel isn’t your dad, babe.”</p><p>"I know," she admits. "But she's your daughter. She’s an innocent bystander in all this.”</p><p>"Yes. And I love you. So, she will love you. She has my wrapping, and I promise she is equally a goofball and a sweetheart. You just gotta find your place. I’m not going to push her on you.”</p><p>“Now I kinda feel bad about making plans tonight.”</p><p>"No. We have a day planned for tomorrow. The baking was a good idea. It’s something we can all do. She’ll have fun. It'll get her tuckered out. We'll watch a movie, and she'll be well rested for tomorrow. I'm gonna catch up on some stuff while you're gone. You're fine. We can have breakfast on Sunday now. The three of us. There isn’t much we can do on a Friday night. She has a bedtime, and I'm not calling a nanny. That’s kinda why I said, Jared. It's right down the street. She has Tom and Shep. I've been filming and traveling. I'm fine just doing nothing for tonight. Even if it's without you. You're fine."</p><p>“Okay.” Charlie answers.</p><p>A short time later, JJ comes down after her homework was finished, and she and Charlie began to bake. JJ wanted to make an array of cookies for her mom because she loved cookies. So Charlie prepared a few different flavors and colors. Making it so when she had to get ready, Jensen could just jump in and do the baking. She also let JJ choose the different colors for the icing they were going to use the following day. So they worked away, making a mess out of the kitchen until Charlie had to begin getting ready. While she was upstairs getting into her outfit, she smiled to herself. She felt good to smell the cookies baking in the oven, making the entire house smell like sweet goodness, and knowing she made JJ happy for a night.</p><p>Charlie decided to wear a cute Floral Belted Halter Dress and a pair of tan ankle boots to bring everything together. She thought about adding a jacket but decided against it because it would ruin the look. Charlie strengthened her hair, letting it fall down to her back, with her usual part to the side and long bangs. Adding a touch of eyeliner for a cat eye and some mascara to make her brown eyes pop. When she looked herself in the mirror, she looked down at the pear-shaped necklace hanging around her neck and smiled. <strong><em>Good memories.</em></strong></p><p>After Charlie returned downstairs all dressed up and pretty, Jensen had to do a double-take. Then began to laugh, "I feel like I’m sending you off on your first date. JJ doesn’t Charlie look beautiful on her date with mommy.”</p><p>JJ steps down from her kitchen stool and walks over to Charlie, looking her up and down. Getting a better look at her. “You look awesome!”</p><p>Charlie gave her a huge smile. “Thank you, sweetheart. I-” The doorbell rang, interrupting her, and Charlie's heart dropped. <strong><em>Here we go.</em></strong></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Stay safe out there everyone.<br/>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. In Bloom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s mommy!” JJ runs to the door, Jensen and Charlie following, knowing it was Danneel.</p><p>Jensen checks the front door camera, seeing Danneel and giving JJ the okay to open it. When she opened the door, JJ ran to her mother. "Mommy! Mommy! We've been baking, and I met Daddy's friend, and she showed me how to make cookies by hand. They're really good!”</p><p>"Woahhhh! That is awesome little bird. Are you saving some for me? Or is Daddy eatin’ them all up.”</p><p>“I’m saving some for you.” JJ smiles back, then looked at Charlie, knowing they were making them especially for her.</p><p>Charlie giggles, finding her adorable and catching the attention of Danneel. When Danneel looked at her, Charlie’s face fell, and she froze as she finally took Danneel in. She was wearing a cute and perfectly fitting Navy-blue blouse, tan ultra-high waist pants, and killer, no doubt expensive, black boot heels. Her hair was red, long, straight, but curled at the end. And when Charlie got to her face… she internally sighed. She had the most delicate, small, and gorgeous features<strong><em>. God, I would kill for those perfect little lips.</em></strong></p><p>“Hi,” Danneel finally said, with her unique voice. “Sorry, I'm a bit late. Work ran late.” She laughs, looking down at her daughter.</p><p>Jensen looks at Charlie, gesturing for her to say something, and she notices she still hasn't said anything. "Oh, hi! It's fine. No worries. Sorry… Hi," she smiles back. "Got distracted by Jensen eating the cookies." She looks at him, narrowing her eyes. He rolls his eyes at her, knowing she was just using him as an excuse. "There better be a decent amount when I come back."</p><p>He laughs. “No promises.”</p><p>Charlie squats down and motions a finger to JJ. Telling her to go to her. JJ runs over, hugging her, and Charlie whispers in her ear. "You protect those cookies for dear life, or there won't be any for Mommy on Sunday.”</p><p>"No!" JJ runs out of the foyer area and speeds to the kitchen. Yelling 'Bye, Mommy' as she made her exit. The three of them all laughing at her energy and personality.</p><p>"She’s awesome, guys. You’ve done a great job with her. Seriously,” Charlie says to both of them. Trying to break the silent awkwardness that was this whole situation. "But uh… told her to keep them guarded till I come back. She knows exactly how many there are.” Charlie laughs. “She kept counting and eating the odds.”</p><p>Jensen and Danneel laugh. “Will do,” Jensen smiles.</p><p>“You ready?” Danneel asked with a smile as Charlie began to walk over to grab her purse.</p><p>“Yup.” Charlie smiles back.</p><p>"You two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He finished, walking away after his daughter. Both ladies looked at him with amused and disgusted faces. Both equally finding the significance in his light joke.  <strong><em>Seriously, Jensen</em></strong><strong><em>? Right before we walk out the door, you dick.</em></strong></p><p>“Yeah…. Good night. Make sure she brushes before bed. She began a habit of saying she has but doesn't," Danneel adds to Jensen as he goes before she moves to step out the door.</p><p>When they got into her car, Charlie felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety.</p><p>"So, you excited about the interview on Monday?" Danneel finally asked, breaking the silence, and starting the car, and began to reverse in Jensen's driveway.</p><p>"Excited wouldn't be the word I would use," Charlie replied, watching the camera on the dash.</p><p>“Ahh. It's a formality, really. You've got the job. It's more so we are all on the same page, and your position has been fully explained to both you and the team. I’ll be there. Misha. I think Vicky is doing it by zoom. I can’t remember. Gen, and her big belly. Trying to act like she’s not about to pop.”</p><p>Charlie laughs. "She's eight months, right?"</p><p>"Yup, 35 weeks." Danneel chuckles. "But the interview is also a way for us to sort of come together as a whole and discuss Random going forward. With you joining, we're going to be moving into expansion.  Something we've been discussing for years, and since the show is ending…"</p><p>"You want to keep the momentum."</p><p>"Yes. So, thank you for helping with the festivals and kind of… I guess fixing my shit," Danneel admits.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>"I just mean, I-m-I'm still a part of Random. I'm on the board, but… after everything… I needed to take some time to get myself on track. I felt bad leaving Misha hanging. But then I heard he finally took the excuse to reel you in.”</p><p>"Oh. Is that what it was? Reeling me in?" Charlie laughs. "Or making me come to my senses. One of the two.”</p><p>"I’m sorry?”</p><p>"Soon after taking on Random's account, I resigned from MAP."</p><p>"Yeah. I was told."</p><p>“Well… it wasn’t over the best of circumstances and something that was long overdue. Misha’s… <em>reeling</em> just gave me the incentive to do it… I guess. And I wasn’t fixing your shit. I was just building on what you already started. I’m sorry if that’s how you feel. That wasn’t my intention to-”</p><p>"No. No. You're fine. I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you must think of me."</p><p>Charlie's head turned quickly to her as Danneel drives. <strong><em>Jeez. I thought we would have at least a drink or some wine before we even got close to this kind of talk… </em></strong>She looks at her, alarmed. Not knowing what to say. A little taken back by the subject. “Honestly. I-I don’t think anything of you. That’s kinda one of the many reasons I wanted to meet. As awkward as it is. I don’t… want to think anything of you. I’m not a judgmental person. Sometimes it's a blessing and curse. To acknowledge and understand that we are all human and we make mistakes. We are all flawed, and a lot of the time… we are not in control. I don’t see what you did as something that defines who you are. After I met Jensen. Even meeting everyone. Misha." Danneel flinched when Charlie said his name. "Olivia. Jared. Briana and Rob. It's like, everyone avoids the topic of you. Not because of what you did, I don't think. They do mention you, and they are all good things, but more… it’s a tough subject when it comes to talking about you to a person who is dating your husband. It always felt a bit awkward… not forced, but almost like… they felt like they were betraying you. But they’re also down to earth people, so… I felt welcomed as well… if that makes sense.”</p><p>"It does. And Jensen and I are separated. He's not my husband. He hasn't been my husband in a long time."</p><p>“I know. I wouldn’t be here if that wasn't the case," Charlie replied. "I just always got the sense that they all missed you. Even him, though he won't actually say it. But I think that’s more for my benefit than himself. He doesn’t want to upset me… I get that. I don’t know how that all went. All the steps that led to you and him. <strong><em>Well, actually. I do, but I can’t say.  </em></strong>I try not to pry. I don’t like it when people bring up people of my past.”</p><p>"Yeah… I get that.” Danneel nods, still looking at the road. “Still. I am sorry. About… your fiancé.”</p><p>"Thank you.” Charlie looked at the road, trying not to think about Matt at that moment. Realizing the action was becoming easier and easier every time she did it. “At this point… everyone knows…about him. Well… anyone on social media and whoever has quick internet access. Thankfully his name isn’t known… for now. I’m sure it’ll come. I didn’t really have social media 6 years ago… So, Information isn’t readily available for them.”</p><p>"Yeah. They’ll find it. There are always databases or people they can shake," Danneel added. <strong>Don’t I know it. My own brother. </strong>“I am sorry. I…I can’t imagine how that felt.  And if I’m being honest, that is kinda why I wanted to meet with you. I’ll admit to having my objections… because, well…”</p><p>"-this is weird. I know. I just wanted to keep the peace. You know? In the best way, I knew how. Let you know I’m not here to… I don’t know. Do whatever females do. I’m-I’m not like that. My goal isn’t to make him mine or love him how I want to love him. He's his own person with a past, and so am I. I fully acknowledge you are part of that past. You and Justice.”</p><p>"Thank you. But…you’ve had the opportunity to come out and say the truth. Say that you’re not what they’re painting you out to be. That you’re not the reason were separated but you haven’t. Why?”</p><p>"They don't know what you did. And that's a blessing in my eyes. Why would I give them that? I'd rather be labeled a whore and know my truth than a sell-out and have to regret it. I also understand that doing that will not help anyone. At all.”</p><p>Danneel pressed on the break, getting to a red light. When her hands were off the wheel for a second, she looked over at Charlie. Charlie looked back with a face unreadable. She couldn't tell, but it was almost a sense of gratitude. "Thank you," Danneel finally said.</p><p>In those two words, along with the way she was looking at her, Charlie could see the hurt she was holding back. The pain. Charlie had gotten so good over the years at reading all the facial expressions and body language of people. She can read a person instantly. It's often what got her in trouble. Because it always led to overanalyzing. And she could see, this isn't a woman who wants to get juicy dirt on her now soon-to-be ex-husband or his new girlfriend. This is a woman trying to make peace with the huge mistake she made while having to look one of her mistakes in the face.</p><p>When the light turned green, Danneel drove, and Charlie finally let out, “Figured were even.”</p><p>Danneel chuckled. "What?"</p><p>"I…I can't imagine it's easy."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Me. Coming into your life. Replacing you. I mean, that wasn’t my intention. I tried hard not to have intentions. Expectations. But…”</p><p>"You can't help who you want," Danneel said, looking off in the distance, still driving. The two drove in silence for a bit. Both lost in their own heads.</p><p>“I’m probably a bit late, but where are we going?” Charlie asked.</p><p>"Oh, it's a surprise."</p><p>"Oh?”</p><p>"No worries. We're drinking and eating free tonight.”</p><p>Charlie laughed. “You didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>"Oh, I'm not. Not really. Fine," Danneel gives in. "We're going to the ‘Family Business.’”</p><p>Charlie smiles with a small laugh. “The brewery?”</p><p>"Yes. It's nighttime… I know you haven't been…so. I let my brother know. He's not gonna be there tonight, but he made sure everything was on the house.” Danneel smiles "There’s also a place I wanted to check out if you’re up to it. The brewery closes around nine, so we’ll have time. We can have a Lyft pick us up or something. I always have things on the weekends when Jensen has JJ. I haven’t been there in a while. Neither I nor Jensen fully own it anymore. It’s more of my brothers now. We figured it was an even loss and my brother is the one who knows it inside out and manages it. So were proprietors with Gino, but more financially than managerial. I also figured I don’t go out much. Well, I guess I do for sponsors or gigs, but never to just be wind down, or whatever.”</p><p>"That makes two of us."</p><p>Danneel drove for another half hour and finally made it to the brewery. To Charlie's surprise, it was packed, beautiful, and lively. There were fresh food trucks and places to sit outside. There were lights all around, creating a calming and refreshing ambiance. People watched them walk onto the property as if they knew who they both were. Danneel and Charlie, smiling and waving as they went<strong><em>. Oh, god. This is going to be in the media tomorrow. Isn’t it? </em></strong>Once people began to notice who Charlie was, and who Charlie was with, a few would come and talk to them, but for the most part, everyone let them be. They were respectful. Only a couple asking for photos, but they were so nice, neither ladies minded.</p><p>“Jensen never showed you this?”</p><p>“He talks about it. I know enough… but I don’t like looking things up on the internet. Tends to ruin the effect. And this is the first time I’ve visited Texas with him,” Charlie laughs.</p><p>Danneel took the opportunity to show her around, letting her try a few beers, and Charlie decided Cosmic Cowboy was her favorite. She also just loved the name. Charlie bought a couple of shirts and a hoodie, wanting to support them, but also got a free he. Allowing her to finally say she's been to the brewery. She could also wear its stuff like everyone else wearing FBBC stuff at conventions, and Charlie would be slightly jealous. Jensen gave her a shirt that she loves and wears all the time, but it was huge and went past her hips, so she couldn't wear it in public.</p><p>After meeting everyone, Charlie and Danneel sat down, with some food, and talked.</p><p>“I know you’ve gotta have questions,” Danneel added as they both took a swing of their beers.</p><p>“Hmm,” Charlie hummed, with the beer still in her mouth. She swallowed,  “I mean-” she laughs, feeling her fourth beer and loving the feeling of not giving a shit anymore. “Sure, but… I also know I may never get them. It’s not my business. I know what pertains to me and or will affect me. I just… wanted to feel okay about everything.”</p><p>"Has everything not been, okay?”</p><p>"No, they have. But being told what I was told…There is only so much Jensen can tell me. Misha could have told me…Not to say I didn't believe them."</p><p>"They're weird. I know."</p><p>Charlie laughs. "I kinda love it. But yes, they're weird."</p><p>"So he told you <em>everything, </em>I’m guessing.”</p><p>"Guess that depends on your definition of everything. He opens up in spurts. I mean, I think I know it all. I think…”</p><p>“It’s not you. It’s… a thing he does. He always has to be the strong one.”</p><p>"Can you blame him," Charlie asked.</p><p>“No. Not at all, but… doesn’t mean he can’t confide.”</p><p>Charlie chuckles. "I can't get on him about that. I am no better."</p><p>"So, you know about…?"</p><p>"Yeah… about Misha. You and Misha. You, Jensen, <em>and</em> Misha. You two, falling apart because of him working all the time. Put a strain on you. Especially with your adorable and beautiful daughter coming into this world." She smiled, making sure to evade the fact that Jensen informed her of the underlining reason, knowing she wasn't supposed to know.</p><p>“And…?”</p><p>Charlie smiles and blushes a bit, "And the two of them."</p><p>Danneel smiles back, "Bet that took a lot of him to admit.”</p><p>"Kinda. It was everything else." Charlie laughed. "Vicky."</p><p>Danneel rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Right… Didn’t see that one coming. None of that bothered you? Finding out about all that?”</p><p>“Nah. Not to say I like it. I don’t. But… I don’t know, I kinda think it’s cool. Not cool, just, you know, out of the box. And people these days are so tied down by what they are told is right and wrong and…<em>Jesus Christ, Charlie shut up,” </em>she says out loud, hearing herself ramble.</p><p>Danneel laughs, “No. You’re fine. I get you. Just some people don’t exactly see it that way.”</p><p>“By the way, kudos.”</p><p>"Kudos?"</p><p>"Misha and Jensen… thanks for bringing that into fruition." She laughed.</p><p>“You’re welcome?” Danneel laughs… “So, what about you, Charlie? You’ve met me. I’m not Cruella de Vil.”</p><p>"Ehh, the verdict is still out on that. You are getting me drunk and chatty." She giggles.</p><p>“Touche. But, I figured it would help. And it’s this or mortal enemies.”</p><p>"I don't know. Mortal enemies has a nice ring to it," she smiled and then shrugged. "I, uh," Charlie looks down at her beer bottle. She takes a deep breath. "...was super nervous about Random. Meeting you, JJ, Gen," she said with a small chuckled.</p><p>“Oh, Gen’s a sweetheart.”</p><p>“I know. It’s just my nature to overthink. I’m also excited to see everything play out. Think my life was kind of stagnate, and then I met Jensen. Or Misha? Misha and Jensen?"</p><p>"The dynamic duo.”</p><p>Charlie laughs. "Were they always..?”</p><p>“Yeah. Yup. It’s Misha. He’s, uh,” Danneel smiles, thinking about her friend. Almost leaving a bittersweet nod to the memory, “He’s one of a kind. Doesn’t give a shit what people think. Always lives life to the fullest. Outspoken. Unapologetic. Encourages self-acceptance, expression, and all-around-"</p><p>“Color. Yeah. He’s a ball of fun.”</p><p>Danneel laughs. “Something to that effect, yes.”</p><p>"He misses you, you know?... Misha. Well. All of them really, but… mainly Misha. Not that it's any of my business, but…" she scoffs at herself. "Maybe I'm blinded, or naive, or… I don't know anything. But… I've spent most of my life trying to make up for shortcomings, filling voids that can't be filled, and being surrounded by… truly terrible people. When I meet <em>these people. </em>Jared. I love Jared<em>. Misha’s silly ass.” She laughs. “</em>Jensen. Well, Jensen’s just…Jensen.” She smiled. “They sort of reminded me of the importance of humanity and life, living… and that everything else just falls at the waist side. I don’t know what you know about me. I know he tells you enough because well… I’m going to be around your daughter, but… I just want you to know, I respect your position in his life. I won't go so far as to say I invite it or like it. I mean… I do. But-”</p><p>“I'm his ex-wife, and me being around will constantly make you question things…”</p><p>"I guess… Never thought about it in <em>that way</em>, but something to that effect. I shouldn't even be saying this…"</p><p>"No… I get it."</p><p>“I'm not perfect. I'm damaged, just like everyone else. Just like you." She made eye contact with Danneel. "That's what the relationships of my past have done to me. And that's what I'm bringing into this one… so all I can do is try to be honest with myself, with him, with you. And just…accept what comes.”</p><p>“I’m sorry they included your fiancés’ death in the articles. I didn’t know. Jensen didn’t tell me.”</p><p>"I don't care that people know," she said and chuckled. "It's usually just the… awkward moments and emotions that revolve around it. People or the media, looking at me like a lost puppy dog. I'll admit, in the beginning, The idea of being anything, photographed, talked about, Just anything, terrified me. Which Jensen couldn't understand. The idea of people thinking things of me that aren’t true. Jensen had his hands full. I was an emotional wreck. Just reading about what they were saying… took some getting used to.”</p><p>“Men. It's harder for us women. They usually like to pin us against each other."</p><p>“So I’ve noticed." She laughs. "But… I think he was right. I think he forgets the beginning for himself. It's…daunting. But I think he was right about embracing it. If telling my story, Matt’s story, helps others, then… so be it. No one's perfect. That's the problem with society and the Media. When I met Jensen, my perception of Hollywood and actors were… not what I hold now. I mean, I knew there were caring talent who invested and donated. And I knew, not everyone can be a Leo… or a Misha, but… I always felt like it perpetuated this idea of perfection and <em>luxury</em>. Even you two, Americas CW sweethearts. The epitome of perfection. The MAXIM bombshell and the southern, sweet heartthrob… but behind closed doors… you’re two normal human beings trying to find their place in life while also following their dreams. But I guess I’ve learned there are benefits. Like what Misha does. Uses his fame to promote good. Or others who use their wealth to help others…”</p><p>"Something tells me you're a very deep person."</p><p>"I may have been told that once or twice. The alcohol isn’t helping.”</p><p>“It’s reassuring.”</p><p>"Why’s that?”</p><p>"Well… I may not be with Jensen, but I would, at least, hope he is with someone of substance. Not some bimbo-"</p><p>“-after his millions and physique.”</p><p>"Well… yeah." Danneel laughs.</p><p>“I’ll admit to the latter. But… the Hollywood part wasn’t an appeal. I mean, I overcame it. It wasn’t like <em>that</em>. But… I don’t like attention. Well… I didn’t.”</p><p>"Yeah. I was going to say. You might as well embrace it."</p><p>"And I am… but I just wanted him. Everything else is dressing. And once I kinda realized where we were going. That, this wasn’t some weeklong fling with a movie star-show star. Whatever. I kinda just rolled with the punches.”</p><p>“It’s gotta get to you. It gets to everyone.”</p><p>"Oh, it does. And I'll admit my ability to accept help of any kind is… almost non-existent. But… I spent a lot of years being the victim. Playing the victim. I-I don't really want to do that anymore. Life ain’t hard for just me. And" she laughed. "Things could be a hell of a lot worse than being glorified for dating a man. A good man at that.”</p><p>Danneel and Charlie continued to talk. Danneel went on to confirm just as Jensen Vicki and Misha did. They talked about Random, acting, family, life, and music. Danneel admitted to finally seeing a therapist and has been going on a regular basis over the last few months. Her relationship with Jeremy was on pause so she can focus on herself and JJ. They talked about being a mother, and the lifestyle she and Jensen live<em> in the limelight</em>. Danneel admitted she had a lot of mistakes, and the way she handled everything with Jensen wasn't ideal, but she needed to hit rock bottom, or else they would have been in the same situation. No better or worse. And eventually, it would have gotten to JJ.</p><p>“Oh, my god. Not that… he never deserved that. Never. Jensen… I know we’ll be okay. And since he met you, he kind of calmed down.” Danneel looked off for a few minutes. “When <em>that</em> happened… I was broken. I woke up, and… everything after was just me, not coming to terms with what I did."</p><p>"He admits taking JJ wasn’t the best thing."</p><p>"Yeah, but… he was right to. I-I was stupid, and I used his lapse of a moment to defend myself because I acted emotionally. I will admit I still do when it comes to him. My daughter is my world, and for a second… I thought I was losing that. So I fought like hell for her. But…he was a great husband. He is a great father. He loved me and supported me. He built me up and kept me afloat. The problem wasn't him. It was me. It is me. If that eases you. Sure, he could have been around more, but I could have done more to make sure he was around. There is only so much someone can do and take. In the end, no one is to blame. I mean, I am to blame… but what led up to that…No matter what we did… it was a catch twenty-two. One of us would have resented the other. There are just things you don't come back from. Sometimes love…isn't enough." Charlie nodded, looking at her beer and completely agreeing with that last sentence. "But he would never have walked away."</p><p>"Through thick and thin."</p><p>"Yeah. And I didn't want to walk away. That's not what it was… I just felt…"</p><p>"Lost."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I get it." Charlie nods. "I've never been married, and I'm sure there is a heap of things I can't understand but… to love someone and trying to love yourself and succeed in this world, emotionally, financially. Being an adult sucks.”</p><p>"Doesn't it?" Danneel laughed.</p><p>"But you have your little 'Birdie,'" Charlie replied with a smile. "Again, not a mother, but I'd imagine that puts some stuff into perspective. Reason to wake up in the morning."</p><p>“She is. I know she is for him too. Were getting better. I’m getting better.” Danneel looked at Charlie, trying to read her face. “Did you ever want kids?”</p><p>"Nah," Charlie answered too quickly. "I-I definitely had those little girl fantasies of the house and dog and husband with baby or babies. Living happily ever after.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>"But…" she chuckles. "I don't know. Life went on, and… I… kinda let go of that." Charlie looks at Danneel, biting the inside of her lip. Danneel saw there was more. "Well, you know. Burying the person, you kinda settled in and imagined all that with, and seeing what life and do to a person kinda kills the dream. Or hope for that matter." She laughs. <strong><em>And having to live with the knowledge and memories that the very thing that he could have lived on through was unnaturally ejected from your body.</em></strong> "Don't worry. There will be no little Maeson-Ackles running about. I think I'm past that, and I know Jensen is fine with his little 'mini-me,'" Danneel laughs. “It’s freaky how much she looks like him.”</p><p>"As she gets older, yes. It becomes freakier. She even has his mannerisms. The way he rolls his eyes or his little facial gestures. It's maddening."</p><p>"I'd be mad too. You put nine months into baking the little bun, and they don't look and or act like you." She laughed.</p><p>“I’m in there too. And I’m sure I’ll see myself more when she’s an adolescent and has hormones runnin’ through her. Jensen’s shotgun jokes are going to become more and more relevant.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Charlie laughs.</p><p>“Thank you for doing this. I don’t think I would have reached out.” Danneel finally said.</p><p>“No problem. Thanks for agreeing. Putting my mind to ease.”</p><p>As the night went on, they both became comfortable with one another. Ultimately acting like to old friends just catching up, and both having to admit it all being a bit cathartic. Charlie was able to breathe. She finally talked to Danneel. <strong><em>Our relationship has been blessed… so to speak.</em></strong> For Danneel, she could finally, just for a second, feel a glimmer of hope that even though she and Jensen were no longer together and he was moving on, that didn't mean everything else fell away with him, and that included their friends. After eating, talking, and a few beers, the two ladies took a cab to San Jac's for a small nightcap. Both, just letting loose and talking. Getting more and more used to each other. They took a walk around downtown Austin, letting Charlie see more of the area. Then they got an Uber and headed home. Danneel leaving her car at the brewery.</p><p>Around 1 AM, Charlie crept into Jensen’s house. Using the key Jensen gave her so she didn’t have to use the entry codes. Then tried to deactivate Jensen’s alarm before it went off and woke both Jensen and JJ up. She managed to disable it. Then walked over and rested against the stairs wall for a second, slowly sliding down to the floor. Finally feeling relaxed and quickly becoming sleepy.</p><p>“Nooooo. I need water. I’m just gonna rest for a minute,” Charlie said to herself. Thinking about how she had a great night. She felt even more at ease about everything, but socializing is exhausting. That mixed with booze in her system, she was very loose, intoxicated, and spent.</p><p> </p><p>*          *          *</p><p>Jensen sat on his balcony, watching TV and checking his phone for Charlie. Her little blue pin disappeared about an hour ago, and Danneel hadn’t responded to his calls or texts.</p><p>When he got up again to go downstairs, contemplating calling Jared to come to watch JJ as he went to look for her, he heard and felt his phone go off.</p><p>“Danneel? Where’s-“</p><p>"She's fine. She's fine. I know you are probably freaking out right now, but everything is fine. We just stayed out a little later than we expected. We went downtown and had a good time. Her phone died…" Jensen relaxed. He just needed to know she was okay. "We were taking a lot of pictures. Mine got low so I-I turned off everything. But like, kept it on just in case. You know…Anyway. She's on her way to you. She's literally 3 minutes away from your house. She's in an Uber. I am tracking her." Danneel mutters on the other end of the phone. Jensen could tell she had been drinking, just by the way she was forming her words and sentences. He only wondered what state Charlie was going to be in.</p><p>“Guess it’s safe to assume the two of you were drinking…a lot.”</p><p>"Maybe. I'm sorry. The alcohol just kinda acted as a buffer… but if it makes you feel better… I kinda love her. Like, I kinda hate her cause she's really, pretty. I mean, like, really, really pretty. And smarter and nicer. And young-er. Pretty and younger.”</p><p>Jensen laughs. "Jesus, Danneel."</p><p>"I'm sorry. Right. So uh… yeah. But, no, seriously. She’s not what I expected her to be. I hope she had a great time. I’m gonna sleep. I have to be up in six hours.”</p><p>"Go to bed. Thank you for taking her out."</p><p>"No. Thank you for letting me meet her. She's wonderful and pretty."</p><p>"Yeah, you said that." He chuckles again. "Good night, Dee."</p><p>"Good night, Jay."</p><p> </p><p>When he hangs up, Jensen hears some ruffling downstairs and goes to look. Walking down the hall and stopping at the top of the stairs after he finds Charlie resting at the bottom of them.</p><p>"Charlie?" Jensen asked as he descended the stairs. “What are you doing? Are you okay?”</p><p>"Hii, baby. Shhhh. I’m being stealth," she says quietly and begins to laugh at her own joke. “Ah, Maggie would get the joke. I miss Maggie.” She pouted. “I’m sorry. I got to the stairs and realized I don’t want to wake the kid."</p><p>"Why would you wake her? She’s on the other side of the house? My bedroom is on top of the entrance.” he asked, sitting down next to her.</p><p>“I’d probably fall with these heels.”</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm a little tipsy. Hii," Charlie smiles at him again. Her face, all rosy. Her eyes, all tired but her makeup fully intact."</p><p>Jensen had to fight the overwhelming need to have her then and there."Hi. I sense you had a good night?" Jensen smiled, rubbing her cheek.</p><p>"I had an awesome night. We went to Jared's bar. I love it. We gotta go, me and you. Oh, my god,” she starts fumbling for her purse to grab her phone. “My phone died. I’m sorry. I think I forgot to charge it. It’s a new phone, this thing lasts like three days. Anyway, Danneel called me an uber. He was a sweetheart. I even tipped him like thirty bucks. We were listening to Metallica. And I was like, 'Woah, people listen to Metallica in Texas?' And he laughed at me, and we had a little jam session. He was cute. Not a cute as you, but cute. And he even waited until I got into the gate before driving off,” Charlie rambled, excited to tell Jensen about her random Uber encounter. “You ever have those moments when you meet the coolest or most gentlest souls for just a minute, and then you go your own separate ways, never to see each other again. And you’re just left to wonder, where are they? Are they still alive? Are they happy? What are they doing right now? I wonder what he’s doing right now?”</p><p>Jensen shook his head, finding drunk Charlie hilariously adorable. “Yes. All the time.”</p><p>"I hope he lives a good life."</p><p>“I’ll meet fans here and there. Well, all of them. But every once and a while, I’ll remember one and I’ll just randomly think about them. But uh…Danneel called. She seemed pretty… slurred, so I assumed you were as well."</p><p>"Excuse me. Your beer got me drunk. Mr. Cosmic Cowboy. Nooo, I take that back. It was actually the four or five shots after the beer, that got me drunk. I need water.” She moves to get up, but she lands on her bottom. Jensen just shook his head and chuckled. He moved down to the floor to remove her heels and helped her up. Taking her to the kitchen, giving her some water. “Thank you.” She said with a burp. “You’re so sweet. If I wasn't drunk right now… you and I… we'd be gettin' it on. But you have to be a gentleman." She rolled her eyes. “You don’t wanna take advantage of me.”</p><p>Jensen finally let out a laugh. “I don’t know. I’m kinda feelin’ like I should get you drunk more. You’re kinda funny.”</p><p>"I am all the way funny. And you," she points her finger at him, “need to get drunk more. We need to drink more. I can just imagine the sloppy hot sex.”</p><p>“Calm down there, Cowgirl.” He smiled back. Moving over to her and kissing her. Charlie moves into it. Wanting more, but Jensen pulled back and got her another water. "So you went to the brewery?”</p><p>"Yes.” She burped again. “It was so cool. Very purdy.”</p><p>"How was your date?"</p><p>"She was a lady. We talked. Then drank. Then talked. Then talked some more. And by the way, she agrees with me. You totally talk in your sleep." She giggles.</p><p>"Anything else tickle your fancy?" he chuckles.</p><p>"Nope. She's really nice. I can totally see why you were in love with her. She’s-she’s sad.” Charlie immediately becomes upset.</p><p>“Aaand, now I remember why I don’t get you drunk. You’re an emotional drunk…” He goes to sit in the stool next to her, holding her face to look at him. "Sad about what, baby?"</p><p>"You. Misha. Like she wants a friend.”</p><p>"Maybe. Danneel burned a few bridges after what happened."</p><p>"I don't know how to feel about that."</p><p>"You don't have to feel anything, Charlie. Danneel will find her place. You know she will. She's not your mess to fix. Or mine, for that matter. I know you care about people, but everything will be okay.”</p><p>"It's important to me that you two have a good relationship."</p><p>"I know it is. And I know you find it important to have a good foundation with my daughter. I love and respect you for that. Probably more than I tell you, but don't be upset over things you can’t control. If you want to be friends with Danneel, I’m not gonna stop you.”</p><p>"I don't want to be friends with her. That's awkward. I want her friends to be friends with her.”</p><p>“You know what I mean. She has people, Charlie. She has family, and she has friends, but the life she <em>had</em>…that is what she is trying to come to terms with…what she doesn't have anymore."</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”</p><p>That night Charlie slept good in Jensen's arms. With the warmth of his touch, the heaviness of the alcohol, the exhaustion from her night of thrills, along with the tension and anxiety she was feeling about meeting Danneel, she woke hours later, a bit hungover but feeling so much lighter.</p><p>She woke, cleaning up the kitchen from the night before, and having a colorful bake off with JJ. Keeping her busy as Jensen got things done around the house, until they headed out on their planned day of adventure. The three of them had a good time, and Charlie got to see other parts of Texas.</p><p>The following day they went to Jared and Gen’s. Gen and Charlie finally meeting and immediately hitting it off. Gen taking her aside and apologizing for Matt, the tabloids, Misha and Jensen’s shenanigans, and not really reaching out sooner. Charlie of course blew it all off, not even thinking anything of it. Letting Gen go on about her brewing daughter, and how excited she was to be having a female around the house. Her and Jared has some talk time, catching up together, since he was always all over the place and Charlie let him do his thing.</p><p>They ended the weekend by dropping JJ off. JJ adding to Charlie’s high by asking her to come back so they can do other baking things together, and Charlie promised she would. Sending her off with a colorful basket of six-year-old decorated sweets, and a little warmth in her heart. She almost cried from the joy.</p><p>When Monday came around, Charlie woke with a sense of purpose. She got up super early and went for a run. After that she cleaned the kitchen until it was time for her to get ready. She dressed professional, wore makeup, and put her hair up, wanting to be taken seriously. And when the time came for her to shine, Jensen dropped her off at Random’s Austin office, wishing her luck, and letting her do her thing. When she walked into the room, and everyone she knew was there, plus a dozen others, Charlie felt everything she was feeling before that moment fade away. She smiled and thrived and two hours later she was being ushered to her new office, meeting her new admin, and sitting down with HR to finalize her new hire paperwork.</p><p>When everything was said and done, and everyone had gone off to their corners of the earth, Charlie was in her office until Jensen picked her up for their flight back to Vancouver. She sat, smiling at her new desk, new files, and new workplace that overlooked the streets of the capital, feeling once again excited for what was to come.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HIIII!<br/>Hope you're lovin’ the story so far!<br/>Hope everyone is stayin' safe out there.</p><p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗 Please &amp; thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. The Warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Jensen is starting to post Soldier Boy scruff 🤓</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlie racked her brain for a response, but nothing else came out except, “You’re shitting me, right?” Looking at Jensen and Bob as they just informed her, she just landed a guest star role in the thirteenth episode of the final season of Supernatural.</p><p>Her eyes switched between looking at Bob then Jensen, then Bob. Both men waiting for her to actually respond to their question.</p><p>"You hit it out of the park, kid," Bob added, giving her a reassuring smile.</p><p>"I was nervous. I-I literally fucked up my lines."</p><p>"Once." Jensen retorted. "The first go-round, yes. Which we expected. But the second call back, you were fine. You didn't mess up because you didn't know your lines or how to execute them. You fumbled. It happens to the best of us. But when you came back, you completely ignored me being in the room, and you just went for it. Besides, I told you. It wasn't the script part that we wanted you for. I know what that body can do, and I know it can do this. In casting, we all agreed you added the little touch to the role, which I was hoping for."</p><p>"Yeah, and once you kinda got used to everyone and got into the dialogue, you did fine," Bob added.</p><p>Charlie sat there, flabbergasted, frozen, and speechless.</p><p>“Uh, Charlie?” Jensen asked.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Are you going to accept the role?" Bob asked.</p><p>"Oh…Y-yes?"</p><p>Bob laughs. "Don't worry, Charlie girl. You'll do fine. We'll all be there to pick you up. Welcome to the family," Bob adds, patting Charlie's shoulder and walking off to a PA who was flagging for his attention.</p><p>Jensen waved his hands over Charlie’s face as she stared off into space. “Hello. Earth to Charlie.”</p><p>“Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Right.” She looked around, finally realizing Bob wasn’t sitting there anymore. “I’m confused…what? Is this really happening? Like…” she looked around again. “Seriously? What’s happening?”</p><p>Jensen laughed. "You landed your first television role. Congratulations. Definitely gotta do a congratulatory date."</p><p>She smiled. “First?...Again, why me?”</p><p>“Charlie, you got the role. Rejoice… or something.”</p><p>"I know...but, I kinda went into it thinking I’d just bomb and say I did it to appease you and kinda just leave it at that…but…”</p><p>“We actually went with you?”</p><p>"Yes…Why?"</p><p>"Well… you still have to cross some T's and dot some I's, but… I think it's safe for me to show you."</p><p>Jensen grabbed her hand and began walking her into the office building across from the set. He takes her upstairs and into the storyboard room. “We just finalized all the costumes and details today. Gotta finish some casting, script changes, and whatnot, but…”</p><p>Charlie wasn't really paying attention. She was listening, but she was engrossed by the walls and walls of drawings. Each one with a title in the right-hand corner ‘EPISODE 15x13: The Earthly Paradise. On the drawings were colorful examples and potential scenes. One of them caught her eye, which showed three dark-haired beauties. She also saw some stunt notes and detail clippings here and there. Along with another character drawing of one of the beauties, labeled a name she recognized.</p><p>“Is this her? …Me.” Charlie asked.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>She turned around to him, “Why are you doing this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s flattering and awesome, and really really <em>really</em> cool, and I appreciate it." She smiled, "but… I’m kinda waiting for the punch line here.”</p><p>"No punch line. No joke. I had this vision, and I saw you in it. But mainly, because I want you to see your worth, I guess. I want you to be comfortable in your skin. Sure, this is something out of your wheelhouse. But I know in my bones, you will treat this like any other thing in your life. Steadfast, determined, thorough, and original. I think you're going to take this role and make it into whatever the fuck you need her to be. And walk away from this experience taller.”</p><p>Charlie took in what he said, then looked over at the board. "Who is <em>she</em>?”</p><p>"A fairy… of Avalon. Somewhat of a freedom fighter. Sister and fellow commander to Morgan Le Fay.”</p><p>"Morgan Le-… The Lady of the Lake?" Charlie laughs. "Like King Arthur. Excalibur, Knights at The Round Table, Morgan Le Fay?”</p><p>"Yup. Thought your little, nerdy ass would like it." Charlie looked at the wall, examining it even more. "I know you like all those medieval, roman empire, mythological, holy grail stories."</p><p>"Oh my god, is this like a twisted Game of Thrones?!" She asked, super excited.</p><p>Jensen chuckled, trying to think. “Maybe.”</p><p>"Avalon… like the fairy realm?"</p><p>"Yup. Was kind of wondering if you were paying good enough attention to the show, seeing as though you always worked and watched it."</p><p>"More watched then worked.” She laughed. “Depending on the episode or season." She winks. "Sam's hair in season ten... Uhh, lala." She jokes, knowing that was not the reason season ten was her favorite. More of the hot, angry, erotic, and sexy Dean/Jensen. "So, what? Sam and Dean fuck some shit up, end up in the other world. Trying to seek assistance against God from fairies?”</p><p>"Something to that effect but not really… When you read the script, you’ll see.”</p><p>"Right.” She remembers… I’m going to be on Supernatural. “I guess… I have to do that now. Read a script… study lines. All the times I helped you… feels weird to have it reverse." Charlie thought of something, looking up to Jensen with a big smile… "Does this mean your, like, my boss?"</p><p>Jensen laughed. "Ehh, technically. Temporarily. But not really."</p><p>"Hmm. I'm likin’ this already. I do get to kick your ass, though. Right?"</p><p>Jensen laughs. “Umm, no.”</p><p>"Damn it. Jared's?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>Charlie rolls her eyes, "Misha?!"</p><p>"Nope. But you will be kicking some ass."</p><p>“I don’t wanna kick some ass, I wanna kick you guys’ ass. The three amigos.” She smiled. "I wanted to be evil.” She said, raking her nails over his stubble. “Also, you need to grow the beard out."</p><p>"What?" He chuckles.</p><p>“I finished watching the first episode you directed for fifteen. Love it. The beginning sequence was fucking awesome. The song at the end… good touch. But, uh, yeah. You need to grow the beard out.”</p><p>Jensen laughed. “You like?”</p><p>“The entire scene made me want to sit on your face.”</p><p>"Oh my god, Charlie!” Jensen looked at the door, making sure no one was walking in when she said that, then laughed into her neck. Kissing the skin and holding her closer to him. Charlie, wrapping her arms around him and giggling at how bashful he was being. Also, knowing no one heard. <strong><em>He makes me happy, and he's adorable. I think I'll keep him.</em></strong></p><p>He moves his head to meet her lips as she looks up at him.</p><p>"Hmmm. All of it," Charlie says, hovering her lips over his. "I want all of it. Full scruff. Like head to toe. Grow out your hair too. Please." She gave him a big tooth-showing smile, trying to butter him up.</p><p>"Makeup gives us regular trims. I don’t shave anywhere else besides my face.”</p><p>"I know. I love it. You also don’t need to. It’s great.” She starts to rub her hands against his chest.</p><p>"I feel like I’ve created a monster.” Jensen laughs.</p><p>She smiles wide again with a chuckle, “Maybe.”</p><p>“I have to shave for the show. I usually grow it during the hiatus or break. Just a few more weeks.”</p><p>"Nooo. Now!" Charlie laughed.</p><p>“In due time.”</p><p>"I will be waiting impatiently for the day I get to pull it all.”</p><p>"As will I, you dirty girl.” She gives him a wicked smirk. “Come on, let’s go to lunch.”</p><p>A little over a week later, Charlie got her script and read through it in one sitting. Impatient and completely engrossed. That night, Jensen was on set, so she watched the current episode of the show then read through it again. Taking notes on the script, adding questions as she went. When Jensen got home that night, he found her on the couch, passed out with the script resting over her face.</p><p>He couldn’t help but smile, seeing her sprawled out with the TV on and snacks all about. Like she had been up all-night studying, “That’s my girl.”</p><p>He picked her up, undressing her out of her jeans, so she was comfortable, and laid her in the bed as he settled in for the night. When he got into bed, Charlie woke, turning into him, wanting his touch.</p><p>“Hey, you,” Jensen said into her ear as she rested her face against his chest.</p><p>“Hii," Charlie muttered, still half asleep. "I wanted to see you before you leave in the morning."</p><p>“Well, you’re seeing me. How was your night?”</p><p>She smiled with her eyes still closed. “I read the script.”</p><p>"How do you like it?"</p><p>"I love it. I love her. Hmmm, I love you.”</p><p>Jensen laughed. "I love you too. I'll wake you before I leave in the morning so you can say bye. Get some sleep.” He held her tighter, and within seconds, Charlie was back asleep.</p><p>As the days followed, Jensen went off to Washington D.C for a convention. Where, of course, the fans were all too curious about Danneel and Charlie's FBBC, along with him confirming they were a thing. Of course, not giving details but adding little details about Charlie as fans asked questions. Trying to be open with them, while also keeping their privacy. Charlie stayed back, catching a flight later in the day as she was headed to New York to get something she had been putting off for a long time out of the way. Then off to Los Angeles in the middle of next week, to see Maggie before her filming picks up in Toronto, and Charlie will most definitely not see her for a while.</p><p>After landing in New York, taking a taxi to that familiar complex, making Charlie’s heart sink. She looked around at the memorable surroundings, becoming overwhelmed with emotions. The regret of her taking so long to do this. The fear of what she was about to do. And the knowledge of knowing once she did it… it couldn’t be undone.</p><p>There was one person in New York she always loved visiting. Someone probably closer to her heart than her own mother. But the years were hard on Charlie and facing her wasn’t something she could do anymore. She saw what the years did to her, and the guilt she felt became even more crippling. To the point that she stopped visiting. Making excuse after excuse as to why she couldn’t visit. Until now. Always making sure she…they were fine. But doing it in a way where she didn’t have to fall apart after every call.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Charlie stepped out of the taxi. Walking over to that all too familiar blue door and knocking. When she saw the blinds being pulled aside, as a woman’s face gleams with excitement and surprise, she felt even worse. The door opens, and she is greeted with a warm smile and tender eyes.</p><p>“Charlotte?! Oh my god, as I live and breathe. Oh, my goodness, look at you!” The woman takes her into a hug. “So beautiful as ever. God, I'm so glad I decided not to take Phyllis up on her offer. Or I wouldn’t have caught you." She pulls Charlie into another tight, soul-loving hug, and Charlie hugged back, missing her.</p><p>"Hi, Rose."</p><p>"Please come in. Come in. Are you staying a while?" Rose looks around to see if anyone was waiting and saw no one.</p><p>“Yeah, I can stay a bit.”</p><p>Rose made her come into the house, Charlie taking her coat off, and getting comfortable. "Oh, my God. Charlie, my dear, how long has it been since I’ve seen you?"</p><p>"Almost three years,” she said, ashamed. “I’m sorry for that.”</p><p>“Oh, please. You’re living your life. That’s all I wanted for you. Don’t apologize for living, love.”</p><p>“That’s no excuse. I have been busy, but you were never busy for me.”</p><p>"And never will be, honey. Mainly because I’m home sitting on my ass.” She gives her a wink, Charlie chuckles. “Did we know you were coming? I wasn’t expecting you. I don’t think Michael told me you were coming.”</p><p>"No, no. Sorry, it was kind of something I've been working up to. I just… I keep going back and forth on whether to do this, and I finally got a confirmation recently that compelled me to come here." Charlie reaches into her purse, pulling out a jewelry box.  She opens it, pulling out the vintage diamond engagement ring. Rose watched as Charlie did. Her eyes, beginning to water as she thought about her late son.</p><p>“The engagement ring…Matthis’s father gave to him before...” Rose looked at Charlie, now confused.</p><p>“I heard Michael is engaged. I am not sure if he has a ring, but I figured I’ve held it long enough. It belongs in the family, to be passed down. That’s… that’s never going to happen with me. I know Matt had it because we were the oldest, but it no longer serves its purpose for me.”</p><p>"But he gave it to you."</p><p>"I know," Charlie said, tearing now. "And honestly, I feel hollow without it over my heart, but…" she looked down, not knowing how to say what she needs to say. "I need to move on, Rose. It hurts. And I feel horrible telling you this, but…I need to put that chapter of my life behind me and hold him in my heart…” She begins to cry now. “I miss him. More than I can possibly say…”</p><p>"Charlotte."</p><p>"And I know he wanted me to have it, but… I can't live my life with it around my neck or on my finger. I would never forgive myself if I let it sit in my jewelry box, never to see the light of day."</p><p>"Oh, sweetie,” Rose says, taking Charlie's hand in hers.</p><p>“I want Michael to have it. Matt… would want Michael to have it. Pass it down to his kids and so on, just like you guys pass it on to Matt. If anyone deserves to have the ring… it's him. He had to pick this family up from the catastrophe it was thrown into. And I’m sorry I couldn’t…” She’s finally looking at Rose again as she took the jewelry box in her hand and she places it on the table. She watched it, feeling like it was burning a hole in the wood and feeling the emptiness in her chest where the ring used to be.</p><p>"I don't know what to say," Rose replied.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything.” Rose moved forward and hugged Charlie and then pulled back to wipe the tears from her face. “Honey, I know you blame yourself for what happened. It was never your fault. Do you understand me?” Charlie nods as tears fall. “You gave my son happiness in the best way we can have it these days. It may not have been enough for him to stay on this earth with us, but I can say from the bottom of my heart I am grateful he met you.” Charlie just begins to cry harder now. “I am so sorry. I am so so so sorry." Pushing her face into Rose's shoulder, crying.</p><p>“If anyone failed him, my love, it was me. A mother knows. She may act ignorant because it's easier than facing reality, but a mother knows when there is something wrong.”</p><p>"I didn't know! I didn't know it was that bad. How could I have not known? I am so sorry.” She cries again.</p><p>“Thank you. I know you are.” Rose brought Charlie’s face back to hers. “And I know you’ve punished yourself all these years. And I am sorry for that.”</p><p>"It's okay. I just wanted to keep him alive somehow. I felt like he was disappearing from ever existing, and I needed to hold on to him."</p><p>"And that, my dear, is why you were always and will always be part of this family. Now. Stop crying. We don't let these men, dead or alive, make us cry, remember." She patted Charlie's lap, and Charlie laughed at the memory of Rose putting her in her place the first time her son made her cry. Always showing her how to be a better stronger woman.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am."</p><p>Rose takes the box off the table and puts it in her pocket, so Charlie didn’t have to see it anymore. “Michael will appreciate this. Thank you.”</p><p>"I also just want to say thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to be better when Matt was alive. I never had a mother to show me what unconditional love could be. I am grateful I met your son. I know you think I shouldn't blame myself … but I will always feel like I failed him. But mainly…I failed you.” Charlie wipes her tears. “I don’t know where my life is going to take me, but I hope you’ll keep me in your lives, all of you.”</p><p>“We never stopped, Charlie. We know what you did for Matt. We also understand what losing him did to you. I know it was hard for you… to come here and check upon us. I never took it personally.”</p><p>"There's something else," Charlie admits. Looking at Rose, shaking with fear. "I never told anyone. Well, besides Maggie 'cause I needed someone there.”</p><p>"Honey, what is it… your shaking?"</p><p>"When I went to the hospital… those weeks after, I never told you the whole truth."</p><p>"What truth?"</p><p>"I found out I was pregnant." Rose’s face fell and she moved back, resting against the chair. "It wasn't like that. I would never… I didn't…" Charlie takes a deep breath, wiping her tears and looking Rose in the face. "I didn't know. We weren't trying. I-I was..." Rose's face falls even more. "I was having bad headaches, and when I finally went to get it checked… they told me. I went… a week maybe and… when I went back because I was in pain, they told me if I continued with the pregnancy to term, several high-risk complications would have killed me.” Rose covered her mouth, listening to what Charlie was telling her. “I was hurting." Charlie cries. "I was alone. I was scared. And I was grieving. And all the while… I laid there, needing him. Hoping that I would wake up, and it would all be some dark nightmare, but it wasn't. I never," she gathers herself. “I never told anyone until recently. I needed someone to take me home, so Maggie knew. And I’m sorry I’m telling you, but… this whole time I thought it was my burden to carry, but I can’t anymore. I’m sorry I took that from you. I’m sorry I took everything from you.”</p><p>Rose was still speechless, Charlie began to grow anxious, and Rose could tell. She took Charlie's hand and rested her other against her cheek.</p><p>"Listen to me. You did everything you could. I know you did. There isn't a bone in my body that believes you would do anything like that. But to go through what you went through… I am so sorry, my love. Here we thought we lost the most. No one should ever have to go through that.” She took Charlie’s other hand. “I am sorry for what my son did. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with everything, but you deserved better, Charlie. You were a blessing in this family. You even helped Michael when you could. Helping him get where he is.”</p><p>"I've been away. I'm sorry. You must be so proud."</p><p>"I am. Of him, and of you. You send me your letters, cards, and gifts. You make sure Michael is good. That I am good, and you call when you can. I don't need to see you to know you care. You never stopped caring. Even when you're trotting around with some supermodel."</p><p>Charlie immediately begins to laugh with tears streaming down her face, "Oh, God. I was hoping you didn't know anything about that."</p><p>"Michael filled me in."</p><p>"How is he?"</p><p>"He's good. He's great. He's finishing law school, getting married, and he's even trying to take me to Florida when they move."</p><p>Charlie smiled. "You guys always talked about Florida."</p><p>"You deserve the world, Charlie. You go on and marry that boy."</p><p>Charlie laughs again. "That'll probably never happen."</p><p>"Why the hell not? What wrong with him?"</p><p>"Well, one, he's getting divorced. And two, I-I honestly don't know if I would ever want that. I… I don't think he wants that either. I’m happy just being…happy.” She smiled.</p><p>“You should call Michael. He would love to hear from you.”</p><p>"I know. I spoke to him a few months back. I just needed to… do this to feel okay. You know?"</p><p>"You can’t tell me you’re not gonna marry that boy when you're giving this back."</p><p>"He's the only person I've really been with since Matt." Rose's face falls. Charlie moves her finger to the necklace hanging around her neck, thinking of Jensen.</p><p>"Do you love him?" Charlie nods. "Does he make you happy and treat you good?" She bites her lip, holding a smile, and nods again. "Then I think you owe it to yourself to have that with him.”</p><p>"I'm just trying to take it one day at a time."</p><p>After Charlie calmed down, she stayed a bit, even taking Rose to dinner as they caught up some more. Later in the day, she saw Michael, they spoke, and Charlie caught up with him as well. He invited Charlie to his wedding, and since he literally got engaged a few weeks ago, a date hadn't been set. She stayed a whole week in New York, spending some time with Rose. She helped Rose around the house with little things. Later letting her know she would be starting a new job and a bunch of things. So she will be busy, but always a phone call if needed. Before leaving, she touched base with some college friends and people she hadn’t had the time to see cause she was always busy with work and school. Also, visiting some buddies that were going to be contributing to the festivals. Filling them in on life, the new job but always leaving out the part that she just got cast in a role because she wasn’t allowed to disclose it. After her week in the big apple, she headed off to LA to hang out with Maggie.</p><p>“Soooo, where’s Olivia? I thought she was coming?”</p><p>"Yeah. I've been meaning to tell you. Me and Liv… we kinda, agreed to take time apart.”</p><p>"What?? When? Why?... What?!" Charlie felt terrible. She had been so consumed with her life and Jensen; she was missing out on Maggie. She felt like she was being a terrible friend. <strong><em>How could I not know?</em></strong> "Are things really that bad Mags?"</p><p>Maggie smiles and chuckles a bit. "It's not a bad thing, Charlie. I promise. It wasn't some argument. We just agreed it wasn't the best time. She's busy with Misha and Supernatural in Vancouver. She's trying to get her classes and shit in order. I'm all over the place, and we didn't want it to be a thing. We didn't want to grow apart in that way. We're too busy to pay mind to one another. So, we planned some get-together here and there when we know we will have the time. But for the most part… we’re kinda doing our own thing.”</p><p>Charlie looked at her, worried. "You didn't tell me."</p><p>“I know you have a lot on your plate. With the new job coming, moving in with Jensen. Deciding to settle in Austin. I know you would have blamed yourself. And I also knew Misha was a sore subject.”</p><p>"Oh, fuck you, Margaret. You know I would have preferred to know."</p><p>"Charlie. It's not some big thing. It was a mutual agreement. We're not done with each other, but we also don't want to hold each other back. We knew this from the beginning. I'm not broken-hearted. I'm not upset. We still talk." Maggie showed Charlie a text that just came in from Olivia minutes ago she didn't open yet. "But we're being smart. We're being serious about our careers and what's important for both of us. She's free to bang…whoever, and so am I. If, in the end, we can still make it work… then great. I'm too focused on the production and learning new things to commit to anything right now."</p><p>Charlie looks narrowed eyed at her, " Right."</p><p>“And I realize that is a bit selfish.”</p><p>“No… it’s-it’s not.”</p><p>Maggie looked at her, knowing what was going through her mind, and wanted to avoid the guilt Charlie will immediately feel. "Soooo, how's your twisted little love life?"</p><p>"It's fine. You… hoe."</p><p>“Tell Jensen about your wet dreams yet?”</p><p>"What w-? Oh, for fuck's sake. The two scenarios I've constantly said we're never going to happen, yet you keep bringing them up. No. I haven’t told Jensen.” She laughed.</p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>"I’m better.” Maggie raised an eyebrow at her. “I am. I finally talked to Danneel. Well… drank with Danneel.” Charlie said, looking at Maggie’s surprised face. “I know. I was totally expecting an awkward breakfast. Thirty minutes tops. Her trying to allude to the fact that she still in love with Jensen, and me trying to ignore the fact that I’m a usurper, and we’d all just go our separate ways and wave at family gatherings.”</p><p>"Aaaand that didn’t happen?”</p><p>"No. No… it was actually. Good. I think. I don't know. I was drunk, so…I mean, we're not exchanging texts or calling each other, but… there isn't this strained competition. Yet. I really just wanted to meet her to wave my white flag and hope nothing ever comes."</p><p>"Meaning?”</p><p>"She still loves him," Charlie admits.</p><p>“That surprises you?”</p><p>"No. I just mean... She's not over him."</p><p>"Again, that doesn't surprise you?"</p><p>"No… I..." She sighed. "It's not like they ended things properly, and either of them had closure. But I also don't want to be that girlfriend that's paranoid. Constantly wondering. Constantly checking in on him. I don't have to. I know that, but… it's not him. I wouldn't trust her. But then it's like if I don't trust her, then I can’t really trust him. Then I just feel like I’m being one of those jealous girlfriends, and I calm myself down. Until he mentions her and then I just do it all over again.”</p><p>"Well. You can set boundaries between them…”</p><p>Charlie gives her a dead face. "I'm not doing that. If I have to do that, why even bother being in the fucking relationship. I’m not stalking him or getting a play by play of his fucking day.”</p><p>"True."</p><p>"I don't want that. It's not like that. I'm not saying they’re going to go off and have an affair. But… she's the mother of his child. It's not like I can ask him to limit his interaction with her. I can’t. They have a kid. They need to be in contact, and I'm not going to have him tell me each time like…like-"</p><p>"Like a jealous, possessive girlfriend. Yeah, that's not you."</p><p>"I try to let him know…if," Charlie breathed. "If he ever decided he needed to fix everything with her, that was fine. But I just wanted him to be honest with himself, and…"</p><p>"What? Why?"</p><p>"What do you mean why? Your tellin’ me you don’t miss Derrick. Even when you were with Olivia. You don’t miss the good moments with him? You’re telling me you never thought about it. You may not act on it... Olivia helped with that, but still..."</p><p>Maggie backed down. “Fine. Maybe.”</p><p>"I'm not an idiot for loving a man who loved, or loves, another. We all do that. I'd be an idiot for loving that man and expecting it to be that cut and dry. I’m not saying that day would ever come. It probably won’t… but I also don’t want to be blindsided. I don’t want to be stupid…more stupid. This isn’t some normal relationship that fell apart. There are ties here I can’t meddle in. I can’t ask him not to interact with her. Or cut her out of his life."</p><p>"Maybe you don’t need to.”</p><p>"Maybe. And me not trusting her isn’t because she's given me a reason. She was actually really, really sweet, and that makes me feel worse about thinking what I think, but…It's not like they broke up because she ended it, or he did. They broke up because she cheated. They never got closure. He doesn’t talk about her as a person who meant a lot to him. Just as the mother of his child. And one day, I know, one day, he'll realize he misses her. Like really really feel that loss... And I'll be the one lying next to him.”</p><p>“You can’t think that way.”</p><p>"I’m not. I’m just acknowledging it. It's not bringing me down. It's not affecting me. You’re the only person I am going to say this to, and I needed it out of my head. I made my decision a long time ago. I decided to stay with him…knowing all of this. All those moments of me being emotional, with all that shit that was going on, was because I knew I was falling for him. And look how much has changed since then. I knew this ended two ways. I love happily ever after, or she comes and takes him from me. Intentionally or unintentionally." Charlie takes a drink of her beer. "And it’s like…” she scoffs. “When do I ever get a happy ever after?” She blankly said, looking forward.</p><p>Maggie looked at her friend, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Charlie turned to look at her, "Why?"</p><p>"I never… I never thought about all this when I told you to go for it. I never looked at it from that perspective. Kinda makes sense. I just wanted you to live a little, you know. You're fun and funny, and pretty and sweet. And all you ever did was hide away and pretend like it didn't bother you. I know it bothered you. But now...I get it.”</p><p>Charlie shrugged with a smile. "Trust me. I have no regrets." She laughs. "Not really. That isn't what this is… I lost someone I loved because I didn't pay attention. I'm paying attention now. And if, in the end, I get heartbroken and I’m left with memories, then so be it. But I don’t regret a thing, Mags. Not a fucking thing.”</p><p>Maggie pulled Charlie into a side hug, "I miss you so much. How’s everything with your mom? Fam still mad at you?”</p><p>Charlie scoffs with a chuckle, "Yeah. Kinda stopped caring. Mom’s lost in married land. <em>For now</em>. I’m sure she’ll reach out when she needs me. Probably when stranger danger realizes he fucked up. I've officially burned my bridge with Francis, and Trixie's just up his ass. They're still butt hurt cause I won’t give Frank the house. Kinda hoping the house is done by next week so I can just be done and put it on the market. Leave that shit behind.”</p><p>"Wow. I don't think I've ever heard you be so detached when it came to them.”</p><p>"Yeah, well. My own kin selling me out for spiteful revenge and money was kind of eye-opening. I think Jensen is a part of it, but… I just don’t have the energy for it. I’m on to greener pastures. If they want to continue to be …brats, then so be it. Can’t imagine they’ll go far without me. Can’t say I won’t enjoy seeing them squirm.”</p><p>After Charlie visited Maggie, she went back to Arizona for a few days. Finalizing everything with the house and putting it on the market. After, she returned to Vancouver, finalizing everything for her role on the show. Signing with legal and confirming the schedule for training and wardrobe. Being told not to reveal her involvement until it's announced in January before the episode airs.</p><p>By the end of November, it was the holidays. Charlie spent Thanksgiving in Texas, meeting Jensen’s parents and family. All of them immediately making her feel at home and welcomed. Loving his parents. She even spent more time with Jensen, JJ, Jared, and Gen. Her relationship with Danneel slowly evolving with each time she picked or dropped off JJ, and Charlie was there. All the while, Jensen slowly persuades, successfully, for Charlie to settle in Texas until she sells and settles on another house. Especially since she had to settle for her office being in Austin because she didn’t want LA, Ohio, any of the Virginias, New York, or Phoenix for that matter. Just not wanting to be stuck in Arizona. Her original placement would have been Seattle, but since she no longer lived there she has to settle with Austin, to Jensen's pleasure.</p><p>However, it was agreed Charlie would work remotely after the first three months of her getting accustomed to her job, so the place wouldn't matter. She was set to start at Random at the beginning of December. Getting right on board a month before the first SAFF festival. Making sure everything goes off without a hitch.</p><p>The final week of November, after meeting the parents and family, Charlie stayed behind in Texas as Jensen went off to Vancouver. Completing his finals weeks of filming before going on Winter break, which Charlie was really excited about. Having Jensen in her grasp for weeks on end. Without plane rides or having to be away from each other for days at a time. There were a few meetings here and there, but nothing too bad. And since Charlie was beginning her job at Random, her job didn't require travel.</p><p>While he was gone, filming his final week before break, Charlie officially, and finally, moved into Jensen's house. Being the happy little helper his house needed as she spent her last week of freedom cleaning and organizing his entire house and making herself at home. Adding little touches of herself here and there.</p><p>So when Jensen returned, finally touching down on Texas soil and not a single outbound flight for weeks, she was ecstatic. Almost making the time together their sweet little prolonged honeymoon. Both, getting into a grind with one another. She also gave Jensen his space since it was the first time he’s had to spend with his daughter that didn’t end after three or four days. But Charlie became more comfortable in Austin. Even ever so often spending nights in with little Jay, having her hair breaded and her face transformed. Posting funny videos of the two having girl night. Dancing like idiots and even making a video of them dressed as fairies… dropping little hints for the fans and feeling embarrassed to admit she had more fun with a six-year-old than she did with most adults.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗 Please &amp; thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. The High Road Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I literally wrote this whole chapter to perfection and somehow wrote over the document. So I had to write it all over again. And of course it isn’t as good as the original, and it's probably missing some juicy stuff but its the best I could do.</p><p>❤️</p><p>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-TWO MONTHS LATER-</p><p>Thursday January 9, 2020 7:21 PM- Vancouver, Canada</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so, right kick, left kick, jump right high kick, then…” Charlie says, slowly completing the motions carefully with Seth, her stunt coordinator. Turning to the side, pretending to kick him in the stomach with each leg, making him fall back a bit but stayed standing. She then jumped up, adding the high kick and stopping perfectly just inches from his face, Spinning and landing on her feet.</p><p>“Okay. Now do it again. Don’t speak the moves out. Just do them.”</p><p>Charlie nods, repeating the action, keeping her discipline and stopping her kicks at the perfect time, then nailing her high kick again.</p><p>"Again," Seth yells, and she repeats the moves. “Again.” Repeat. “Again.” Repeat. “Again,” then repeat. “Alright. You think you can do it without guidance.”</p><p>“Like slow or fast?" she asked with a chuckle.</p><p>“Whatever you can execute, then we’ll work back and slow it down for the camera.”</p><p>"Okay," Charlie takes a breath. Jumping in place on the matt, collecting herself. Feeling exhausted but exhilarated. When he gives her the cue, she repeats the motion but ends up kicking Seth in the face. “Oh, my God. Holy fuck. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>"It's cool. It's cool," Seth laughs. "I was expecting it. I moved with you. You’re good,” he corrected his jaw. “I do have to say. Jesus. I don’t wanna be on the other end of that kick if you ever meant to cause harm.”</p><p>"Oh, jeez. I'm really sorry, Seth. You said to go fast."</p><p>"Honestly. It's okay. I knew you were going to do that. I needed you to get how fast not to go." Charlie nodded, taking in what he said. "Now, let's go again. But slow it down just a bit, and I’ll dodge it this time.”</p><p>She takes another deep breath. "Okay." She repeats the move, and Seth dodges it at the perfect time.</p><p>“Better. Better. You’re doing good. So just like the hand blocking and punching from the other moves, do it quickly but pull back on the torque, less intent. She wants to hurt him on camera, not you." He laughs. "We'll finish this up, and you'll be good for the night.”</p><p>"Okay, I can do this," she tells herself. "I can do this." She begins off with the start before the current move, hitting the high kick in the air, stopping at an angle, spinning, and landing on her feet. “OKAY. Let’s get a roll on stunts! From the beginning!" Seth yells at the cameraman recording the moves. Then turns his attention back to Charlie. "Going again. On camera this time.”</p><p>Seth and Charlie did the small, coordinated movements that led up to the kicks. The moves started with Seth’s character, pushing her into a wall face first, then wrapping his arm around her neck, choking her from behind. Charlie uses both her hands to pull them back off her throat, then throws her head back. Slamming it into Seth, who avoids the hit. She then uses her strength to pull him down over her and rolling him over onto his back. Completing the first part of the coordination. Seth jumps up from the mat, then Charlie advances. Right kick, left kick, and right jumped high kick. Seth falls to the matt.</p><p>“You got it.”</p><p>"Yes!" Charlie yells. Throwing her hands into the air then falling to the matt. "Well, at least I'm days in, and my body doesn't hurt anymore." She laughs.</p><p>Seth extends a hand, helping Charlie up. "You'll get the hang of it."</p><p>"Jeez, they do this for every episode?"</p><p>Seth laughs. “Pretty much. But your character is a bit more intense with her fighting skills.”</p><p>"Either way. You all are far better people than I am, cause… nope." She laughs. "Just… nope. All the nopes."</p><p>An hour later, after getting changed in her trailer. Which she specifically made them give her. Instead of sharing one with Jensen. Feeling a bit off about the fact that technically she was fucking the director. After, Charlie was back at Jensen's apartment. Using her key to get in. Walking past him as he cooked. Muttering a very low 'Hi' and walking right into the dark bedroom. She kicked off her shoes, worked on getting her bra off then fell face-first onto the bed. All she remembered was feeling her entire body relax and just fading into darkness.</p><p>A little while later, Jensen came into the room, circling a plate of hot steaming food in front of her. Charlie wakes to the smell. Looking at him, then closing her eyes to the brightness of the room.</p><p>“Ah!” she growls. “No light! "</p><p>"Come on. You gotta eat. You've been going all day."</p><p>"Noooo. I had snacks. I need to sleep.”</p><p>Jensen puts the plate down on the dresser, walking back over to her and laying on the bed, spooning her. “I know you’re tired, but you didn’t have lunch and you had a muffin and a coffee for breakfast. I have been laboring over this meal for two hours, you are going to eat.”</p><p>Charlie laughs. "Stop acting like steak is heart to make."</p><p>Jensen laughs back, “Still. I made the potatoes how you like them... Brussel sprouts.” He kisses her neck, making her squirm and giggle.</p><p>“Hm, talk dirty to me.”</p><p>“Zucchini," he continued. Charlie giggles. "Cauliflower.”</p><p>"Okay. You killed it.”</p><p>Jensen chuckled. "You need sustenance. It’s bad enough I feel like I need to go without because you're overworking yourself.”</p><p>"I told you, you can just go for it. I'll wake up in the middle." She laughs.</p><p>“Yeah, no. I’m not into necrophilia.”</p><p>“I’m not dead!” she laughs. “Just practically.”</p><p>Charlie yawns, rolling over and getting out of bed. Jensen follows and walks into the other room. Charlie eventually following after changing into more comfortable clothes and putting her hair into a messy bun.</p><p>“Aww, aren’t you just the sweetest boyfriend.” She joked as she looked over the plate and glass of wine sitting. Giving him a quick kiss before sitting down on one of the stools, watching the football playoff rerun he had on. “I thought you were supposed to stop watching football after your team loses. It’s not good for morale. Well, then again… it’s the Cowboys. They have a cult following.”</p><p>"Watch it, woman. That’s my team your talking about.”</p><p>Charlie laughs. "Dude, I don't know enough about football for my opinion to matter."</p><p>"Well. It does.” He looked her over. “You look tired.”</p><p>“Ehh. I am… but I’m fine. How was work?”</p><p>"Shouldn't I be asking you that? You worked two jobs today?"</p><p>"Nooo, I sat on a computer and phone for the first half of my day and then was forced to use my entire body during the second half."</p><p>"How's it going?"</p><p>"It's going. Think I have everything down. I just need to work on my execution. You know… learning it all then pulling back… But ill have it down by shooting.”</p><p>Jensen looked over her face some more, seeing the circle under her eyes. He knew she was tired and was just playing through the pain. “Told Gen we could see the baby this weekend… if you’re up for it? Wasn’t sure if you wanted some rest.”</p><p>"Yeah, she told me. Kinda offered my hand Sunday. Figured since you and Jared were going to go do…whatever you and Jared go off to do, I’d help. I know he needs his time off or away… so I figured I’d help Gen.”</p><p>"Cool. And then the studio is going to be announcing your role in the show, so be prepared for that."</p><p>"On it. And the Creation emails about the convention… I got it. Still thinking that one over. Will probably say yes cause it's with Ruth, but…”</p><p>"Okay… Ms. Movie star."</p><p>"Shush." Charlie blurts out with food in her mouth. “It’s one itty bitty role.”</p><p>"Ehh, it’s-it’s kind of a huge thing though.”</p><p>"Jensen, it's one more day. Then I'm off from Random for two weeks and I can go full-on Fairigeddon. I’m fine. Kinda having fun. This is fun. Tiring but fun.” After a few minutes of eating, her face brightened as she remembered something. “Briana and Kim finally asked me to be on the podcast… good timing too, I guess.” She chuckles. “Then after filming, I gotta head to Cali and meet with the team for the festival.”</p><p>"Don't wear yourself too thin."</p><p>"This, coming from Mr. It's a small role. It'll take two weeks. You can do both."</p><p>"Yeah, well. I forgot you really go hard and in an unhealthy way."</p><p>“Suck it.” Charlie realized what she said then looked at him excitedly. Hinting.</p><p>“No," Jensen replied flatly. Knowing exactly where her mind went. Her face fell. She pouts and looks at the TV again. “Eat then bed. You have too much shit going on.”</p><p>"For sex? Oh, come on…” Again, realizing the double meaning of her words. “-me.” She smiled. “Ha. Ha…” Jensen looks at her straight. “Fine, be serious. Grumpy. Here I am. A lowly old lady, just offering her boyfriend a wee blow job, and he's in complete contempt.”</p><p>“You done?”</p><p>She sighed, hating when he gets all surly and papa bearish cause she doesn't know how to handle him.</p><p>“Yeah. I’m done.”</p><p>"I meant the food.”</p><p>Charlie looks down at her food, not even realizing she ate almost all of it. Even with his portions. “Fine. I might have been hungry.”</p><p>Jensen got up, taking both their plates, putting them in the sink. Charlie got up, heading over to her purse to grab her phone. Walking past the kitchen. “I’m gonna head to bed…” She said, looking down at her phone. Seeing another email from work and responding to it. She walked over to him, trying to get a goodnight kiss, teasing him. And instead of Jensen giving her a quick sweet peck, he lifts her up off the ground, causing Charlie to squeal from the sudden manhandling.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> Jensen walks them over to the room, and Charlie laughs, feeling completely alert now. He threw her on the bed, hovering over her, and giving her a quick kiss. “Goodnight,” he said. Rolling off of her and moving to his nightstand.</p><p>Charlie looks at him, upset.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>"You heard me."</p><p>"Jensen!"</p><p>“Good night.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re no fun! I was already going to bed, you asshole.”</p><p>“Just needed to keep you on your toes. Besides, we tried the whole putting Charlie to bed with sex bit. Remember? You almost didn't wake up the next day. You were nearly late to your zoom meeting, and you got pissed at me like your little paws didn’t seduce me!”</p><p>She laughed, remembering. "Nooo. You, making me cum three times and adding that last little…” she stopped, thinking back on the memories of a few nights ago, biting her lip. Not wanting to get aroused or horny and have him deny her again. “Fine, whatever.”</p><p>Jensen chuckles. "Good night, babe."</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>She turned around on the bed, leaving Jensen with an amused smile, as she finally gave in and went to sleep. Within a few minutes, he heard her light snoring, and he knew she was out like a light.</p><p>The next day, Charlie did the same thing. She woke up at 7AM Austin time, but 5AM Vancouver time, working her Random hours until 4PM Austin time and 2PM Vancouver time. Doing her meetings, calls, and whatever else they had her doing. At 3PM, Vancouver time, Cliff or a set escort picked her up, and Charlie headed over to the studio. Working on her choreography, stunts, and anything else she needed to do before filming began next week.</p><p>However, while she was filming, she was taking two weeks off. She just had to get through the first full week of training, before more training began. And the Friday after filming the episode, they have the first Supernatural festival. In perfect timing for Warner Brothers to release the details of the episode being filmed. Letting everyone know she was going to be on the show. Something Charlie had to keep a secret about for two whole months, and she was bursting.</p><p>The thing that was complicating it all was her character. She was badass. A sweet benevolent fairy, but when commanded, can annihilate an entire pack of demons, angels, and Winchesters alike. She not only had to be fit, but she also had to learn martial art techniques to perfection before even learning the choreography parts for the role. All of which was a means of safety. She had to understand how to properly execute before learning the actual moves. It wasn't just about the acting. She had to have discipline.</p><p>The whole week before she started her training. All of Christmas and New Year’s, Charlie was recommended to watch a few top-rated martial art fighting productions like IP MAN, Daredevil, and Bourne identity. Seeing their technique and understanding what the camera needed to see and what her body needed to do.</p><p>The thing for her was, she was small. Average sized for a female but compared to the tall men she would be fighting, she had to make up for it. Generally, with people of her size and stature, speed would be their advantage, but she can’t be too fast, or the camera will not get it. However, her character was supposed to be faster and better than previous fighters because of her experience. So, she had to learn how to slow down while also doing more, but only after mastering the moves at normal speed.  </p><p>On the show, the fighting sequences and the choreography, for the most part, are real. All moves are martial art moves or an adaptation, depending on the character to provide variation. When performed in front of the camera, the actors have to slow it down. Way down, and that was the part that was getting to her.</p><p>So, for seven days straight after ringing in the new year, with the intent of being a new and better Charlie, she had went hard. Saturday and Sunday, she practiced with Jared and Jensen in Texas and Vancouver. Just some boxing and blocking movements to get her warmed up. Outside of training, she practices her lines with Misha whoever. When Monday came, that was a whole different ball game. But even after everything, Charlie had to say, the job was gratifying. Sure, she was exhausted, but she was more excited to see all this come together. For her friends and her family to see the little part of creation she had been working on. So, it was all worth it. And in the end, she understood why Jensen kept his distance. She is burning herself on both ends, and he doesn’t want to add to that, along with everything else.</p><p>One more day of stunt training until she was off for a few days, then back Monday to finalize everything when the director takes his seat. The director being Jensen. And the cameras start rolling on the episode. However, Monday, Charlie will be working with Jared, Misha, Jack, and Ruth, and she was excited. Not completing her fighting scenes until the end of the week. She would also be doing some collaborative fighting scenes with Jensen, and she couldn’t wait. She didn’t get to kick his ass, but she will be kicking ass alongside him. <strong><em>I get to be on screen, fighting alongside Dean Motherfucking Winchester. This is going to be fucking awesome!</em></strong></p><p>So, she went to bed, waking up the next day and doing everything she could cram into her final workday for the next two weeks. Making sure everyone knew to contact her in the event of an emergency as she tries to make sure the festival plans were going well<em>.</em> <strong><em>AGAIN.</em></strong> Friday night Jensen, Charlie, and Jared all headed back to Austin, and she took Saturday as her day to relax. Letting Jensen do whatever as she just caught up on sleep and self-care.</p><p> When she finally had a moment away from working and her new life, she made sure to touch base with her number one fan. Keeping Maggie updated on everything. Getting an ear full, again, about Charlie being stubborn and self-destructive. Charlie, just savoring whatever time she had with Maggie and feeling how different it was from last year around this time. Thinking about the contrast the past year has been. This time last year, she was heading into her final semester at Washington State, only to graduate and fall in love months later.</p><p>Sunday, Charlie visited Jared and Gen. Jensen and Jared going off for a few hours as the ladies, mainly Charlie, tended to the kids. They were big enough to do their own thing. But also small enough to get in a lot of trouble. In the meantime, she helped Gen here and there. Keeping her company. Coming to realize she could depend on Gen as someone to talk to. After the two had a serious talk about their connection to everything but mainly her and Jared's choice to stay Switzerland. Gen explained it was hard to see Danneel and Jensen struggle. However, when they tried to help, it always blew up in their face. Even causing issues with their own marriage. So over time, they learned to support. Taking no one's side, understanding both, and staying out of everything.</p><p>Gen was close friends with Danneel, but she was also friends with Misha and Jensen first. But Jared knew Danneel years before ever meeting Jensen or Genevieve. There were conflicts that complicated things, and when emotions got involved, it was chaos.</p><p>When Charlie admitted everything she had been thinking about regarding Jensen and Danneel and how she asked Jared to be honest with her always. However, Gen believed Jensen to be rational and mentally aware enough to know if it was ever that. Thinking he could never rekindle things with Danneel. So as time went on, Charlie and Gen grew closer, and their own friendship blossomed.</p><p>When the boys were expected home, Gen took the chance to take a shower while Charlie sat watching a movie with Shep, JJ, and Tom, as Odette slept on Charlie’s chest. Every time she tried to put her down, she cried like the dickens. Charlie wanted Gen to shower in peace, so she temporally spoiled the little bundle. Also, just enjoying her sweet baby smell as all she ever did was sleep.</p><p>When the boys got home, Charlie didn't hear them come into the living room. As soon as Jensen spotted Charlie on the couch, he was taken back. When Charlie passively looked up to Jensen, seeing him and being unable to read his face. She immediately looks away, not even wanting to know, and began to walk over to the baby bouncer. Hoping it’ll pacify her for now. Odette immediately began to cry.</p><p>“Okay… never mind. Got it." Charlie said to the baby. Jared, smiling and moving to take Odette out of her arms. Odette begins to cry again, apparently wanting only to be with Charlie. "She's fed. Changed. Played with and slept. I haven't a clue.”</p><p>Jared rocks her, and Odette began to calm down as Jensen heads over to JJ. Telling her to get her things together as they were leaving. They help clean up as Jared tended to the baby. Saying bye to Gen and everyone before heading home. Jensen and Charlie both quiet during the ten-minute drive down the street.</p><p>As Jensen went to put JJ to bed. Getting her showered and down, Charlie did the same. After she dried and moisturized, she sat in front of her dresser in their bedroom, brushing her hair until Jensen walked into the room. He watched her for a few minutes before walking over. Bending down and hugging her from behind. Kissing her shoulder and pushing the strap of her nightgown down a bit.</p><p>“Did you have a nice relaxing weekend?” he asked, still kissing her shoulder.</p><p>“Yes,” Charlie let out. Already feeling the effect and power Jensen had on her.</p><p>Jensen turns her around in her seat, grabbing her hands, intertwining their fingers, and pulling her up. Pulling her into a hold, kissing her. He begins to push her towns the bed. Gently pulling her nightgown up as he went, pushing her down and making her fall to the bed.</p><p>“I need you to be very, very quiet," Jensen says as she moves down to his knees, opening Charlie wide for him. Pulling her to the edge of the bed and diving right in. Taking his tongue and going up and down before he played with her clit.</p><p>“Ahh! Fuck,” Charlie moaned low, trying to keep her voice down. Feeling Jensen work her as she gripped the edge of the bed, trying not to moan too loud. He went on for minutes, just eating her up until the brink of insanity. Her legs, shaking as they squeeze hard around him and his strong arms keeping her open for him. Sucking and working her over and over, never stopping until she came.</p><p>And Charlie can finally say she came. It was the most exhilarating thing for her. Finally feeling Jensen between her legs, feeling him work her up and up, and finally feeling herself climax. Cumming hard on his tongue, until he quickly undid himself and pushed into her. Making sure to kiss her to cover her screams.</p><p>Jensen worked on top of her, gripping the edge of the bed over her head. Gripping it to keep himself in place and grounded on top of her, as she pushes and thrashes under him as he ruthlessly moved into her. Charlie, holding his body to hers, feeling the guttural need to have all of him. She was beginning to moan louder, causing Jensen to cover her mouth with his hand. Still using the other to hold him to the bed. Hovering his face over hers, the two pressing their foreheads into the other, seeing the other, slowly lose themselves. Locking lips ever so often, as Jensen never falters. However, feeling thankful JJ, wouldn't hear the bed rocking or Charlie's moans from where she was.</p><p>He watched Charlie as she bit into his hand, moaning against his skin, tightening her hold around him with her walls and her thighs as her orgasm continued to roll through her. Curling up into him as Jensen removed his hand, covering her mouth with his as she begins to let out small cries at how good it felt. Jensen, never letting her high come down, and she couldn’t handle it.</p><p>“Shit, Charlie. You’re so fucking wet.”</p><p>"Oh my god, it feels so fuckin' good. You feel so fuckin’ good. Oh my god. Oh my god.” She kept moaning.</p><p>“You love it when I fuck you, baby,” Jensen whispers into her ear.</p><p>“Yes,” Charlie moaned again. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and holding onto him as he fucked her. Never stopping. “Tell me what you want.”</p><p>"You. I just want you."</p><p>Jensen flips them over, making Charlie rest on top of him. His arms around her now, keeping her quiet with his lips. Pushing up into her as he pushed her hips down to meet him, hitting that sweet, sweet spot again. Making Charlie pull away from his lips and bite Jensen’s shoulder as she tried to bite through the feeling of him hitting hard and deep into her.</p><p>“Oh fucking God! Yes. Yes.”</p><p>Just as she felt another orgasm coming, Jensen slowed down, and Charlie sat up, flipping her head back to get her hair out of the way, and began riding him. Bouncing and circling. She bit her lip, keeping her moans low as she looked down at him. Jensen, watching himself disappear inside of her. The site of him watching her making her even hornier. She grabbed her boobs, squeezing them. Pinching them and making it a show for him as she moans to the pain.</p><p>Jensen grabbed her hands, moving and holding them to her side. Then moved to take one of her nipples into his mouth, biting down hard.</p><p>“Ah!” She painfully moaned, smiling at him. “Oww, fucker!” She pushes him back on the bed and climbed off of him. Keeping her eyes locked on his as she licked his nipples, adding a taunting smile, and bit one.</p><p>Jensen flinched then laughed at her attempt at revenge. Charlie moved forward, taking his lower lip into her mouth, sucking and pulling on it until he moaned. She dived her tongue into his mouth, controlling their kiss until she had enough. Pulling off him again and sliding down to his dick. Taking all of him in. Working him in and out. Watching him as he carefully watched her suck him.</p><p>She gives him a wicked smile. Deciding to say something she’d been wanting but was always a bit nervous to say it out loud. “Fuck my mouth,” she said as she rolls over on the bed, laying on her back.</p><p>Jensen doesn’t have to be told twice, shooting up from laying back and climbs over her. Straddling her chest as Charlie looks up at him, mouth open, tongue out, waiting for him. Jensen takes her hands, pinning them to the bed.</p><p>He lands the head of his dick on her tongue. She closes her mouth to it with a moan, tasting both of them. Jensen begins to move in and out of her mouth, and Charlie pushes him on her, wanting him to go deeper. Holding him there and feeling his head pulse in her throat. Fighting the instinctual need to gag cause of how deep he was, but wanting more. She pulls off, getting air and taking him back again, repeating the process. Making him work in and out of her mouth until he was balls deep. or until he almost cums.</p><p>“I wanna cum inside you,” Was all Jensen had to say.</p><p>Charlie got up, turning over and pressing her ass into the air for him, biting her lip and waiting for him. Watching Jensen as he looked her over, decided what part of her he wanted, and Charlie just wiggled her ass, teasing him, waiting impatiently.</p><p>“Pussy it is." Jensen pulled her closer to him. He positioned himself and slowly pushed in, almost loving the sounds of her moaning below him. Charlie throws her head back with a hard moan as he went real deep real quick. Feeling him hit differently from behind. Letting herself fall to the mattress and muffle the moans she knew were coming.</p><p>When he was all the way in, Charlie moaned hard into the mattress. Feeling too impatient to wait for him, she begins to work herself on him. Groaning into the mattress as every inch feels deep every time.</p><p>"Harder." She begged, and Jensen complied. Grabbing her hips for dear life and  fucking her to that brink again. Causing her to let out a mixture of crying and moaning. Feeling the sweet decadence of exquisite pain and delicious pleasure. When Jensen stretched his arm around her to work circles on her clit, Charlie began to convulse under him. Bringing Jensen to his climax as they both cum at the same time. Jensen, falling to the bed beside her, both catching their breath and composing themselves.</p><p>“Fuck… now I gotta shower again.” She looked over at him, “What was that for?”</p><p>"Just missed you." He smiles. Playing with her hair.</p><p>Charlie turns to look at him, both naked, laying on their sides. She smiles at him, "How can you miss me, Jay? I’m right here. You see my bright and shining face every day. Just like you like you wanted.” She giggled.</p><p>"I just mean, we've been busy. You're doing all this for me. You're doing you. We're around each other, but…we're not always really there.”</p><p>Even though what he said was the truth, all he wanted to do was show Charlie how much he loved her in the best way he knew how. But it wasn’t the whole truth because Jensen had a lot on his mind. All she could think about was the conversation he had with Maggie a few days ago and how to bring it up with Charlie without her getting upset.</p><p> </p><p>- ONE WEEK AGO –</p><p>“Listen, you gotta understand. We all have our daddy issues. Shit, I know I have mine. And Charlie is no different. She’s spent her entire life trying to fill the void her father left. And a lot of that is anger, resentment, and regret. If you want to keep her, you need to be real with her and yourself. Because she’s not gonna walk away. Even if she knows she should, she won't. She lost too much to walk away from anything. Especially you.“</p><p>”I don’t want her to, Maggie. That’s not what this is.”</p><p>"I'm not saying you do. I'm not saying Charlie wants to. I don't know what you've lost. I know what Danneel did was hard, but you really gotta see shit for what they are and decide if this is how you want to move forward. Like real shit. I know you’re getting a divorce, and I know that shit was complicated. I also know Charlie is your starting-over point, but you gotta make sure what you walked away from is done. No loose ends. I fucked up not realizing this shit before, but I’m not letting her down this time.”</p><p>"What shit?"</p><p>"You, Jensen. And everything that comes with you. She loves you. And I know you love her. I support the two of you. I do. I’m the one that pushed her into you, even when she had her doubts. And at the time, I thought she was just making excuses like she always did. Too scared to let anyone near her. But… I really need you to understand her. I mean, some things I can save her from, but others…"</p><p>"Okay. Am I gone, or?"</p><p>"You need to figure shit out with Danneel, and in the process, you need to have a really long and serious conversation with Charlie. Now that you two are going steady and living together. You need to talk about where it is you’re going in this relationship. And I’m not talking marriage or kids, but I can’t see her have her heart broken again because some Cowboy wants his cake.”</p><p>"I- “</p><p>"I'm not saying anything is going on with you and Danneel, but I do agree with Charlie when she says the shit between you two is complicated. And I get that you can't see that, but she does. Which comes back around to, you gotta understand her. She's more fragile than she looks. And she far more intelligent than she lets on."</p><p>"I know that, Maggie. I know what Matt did to her affects her just like what Danneel did to me…”</p><p>"No, I'm sorry, you don't. You didn't choose to walk away from Danneel. You were forced to. And I get that it's a loss, but it's not the same. You had your life… it may have been messed up, but you had your version of a happy ending. She didn't. And even though today you may be completely fine saying you're done, but one day you won't be. And I'm sorry. I am. But whatever and wherever your relationship was at that point in time. Before you caught her is where it still is. From what Charlie tells me, you didn't have marriage counseling or episodes of trial and error. And I know she will hate me for admitting this because maybe this isn’t my place but, to her, you’re going to wake up one day, realize you have unfinished business. Realize, in the end, she was the mistake, and walk away."</p><p>"I'll never do that."</p><p>"Maybe you won't. And I think a part of her will always know that. But this shit is deeper than past exes. This goes before Matt and Beau. And I know you won't understand, because again, she doesn't talk about this, but she spent the first twenty years of her life around an overbearing father. Please don't get me wrong, Silas… he meant well. He was a good dad. He cared. But his father was hard on him, and he was hard on Charlie. Not realizing, for her, it was different. He had siblings to fall back on. Loving and supporting family… he had an amazing relationship with his mother. So much so, he named his daughter after her. She didn’t have that. Her mom walked out on her when she was six. Growing up, she wanted nothing to do with her. Which hurt. She grew up being reminded she was never enough to care about. Constantly choosing the twins over her. And still does. To them, she’s privileged. And maybe she was, financially. But as a person, as a child, Charlie was lonely. She found ways of adapting. This is where this constant need for independence comes from because it was her and her dad. When her dad died, she was lost. I don’t know If she talked about it, but she fell into a deep, deep depression. She even went to therapy. I mean, the person she devoted herself to night and day was gone. But, when he was gone, she suddenly had no idea who she was. Everything she was up until that point was everything her father made her be. He drilled that shit into her. The music, morals, academics, learning, and handwork. They're good qualities, but for her, they came at a cost. He always wanted for her to excel. And she did, but when he was gone, she had nothing. She never wanted the money. She fell into the arms of her money-grubbing mother seeking love. I mean, she knew. But she was so broken. She had the Maeson’s, but… then, she was weird with them. So, she went to Beth. Over time they just became a burden. And she knows everything there is to know. And you'll get pissed at her because she will, fucking always fall into their traps. It's not because she’s naïve or gullible. She's too smart for her own good.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>"I know you know she's smart. She wouldn't be where she is if she wasn't. But what I don't think you get is how much. How much she sees, notices, pays attention to. Especially after Matt. She may not talk about it, but she sees everything. She notices everything. Take it from someone who lived with her. The worst part is, she has too much of an understanding of psychology and human nature to ever really judge or be angry with someone. While at the same time, she has also lost too much to see her own worth. She’s not just a woman who lost her fiancé. The person in this world who was supposed to love her unconditionally and left her. A man who promised her the world and literally did the worst thing you can do to a person. And she blames herself for not being able to avoid his death. And you'll never see me say this around her, but I can’t stand that asshole for what he did. I know he had his struggles, and I know she understands, but… he just solidified the concept that she isn’t good enough. This is a person who lost her father, her mother, in a sense, her dignity. After him and-”</p><p>“-the baby.”</p><p>"It was more than the baby Jensen. That," Maggie scoffs. "Makes me want to cry because she is the sweetest, warmest, caring, and loving person. She brightens everyone’s day. Always goes above and beyond, just to feel accomplished or feel complete. As much as she will never admit it, to herself mainly, but she still wants that. But she will never see her own worth. It breaks my heart to know all those years before you, she settled. Kind of thinking she would never have anything good, so why try. And she regrets it. She does. Which is why she fell into you. She honestly never expected anything. But she knew she would regret never giving it a chance. And when it became something else.” Maggie took a deep breath. “All almost everything and everyone in her life has ever shown her is that she's not good enough. But not you. The acting, the moving. You’re getting her out of her shell.”</p><p>"I'm trying."</p><p>"I'm so grateful for that. I am. Her dad kinda didn’t support her choices, her mother constantly criticizes her. And when she finally thought she found acceptance, he gave her a hug smack in the face. She's not just recovering from Matt and what happened after Matt. She tried to make up for it by working her ass off. Because that's all she’s known. All she's good at. But all this… it's more than love, dude. It has to be." Maggie sighs, "Which brings me to you. I'm not saying you're going to break her heart or that she wants you to be with Danneel. Or whatever the hell else. And I’m sorry if I’m being blunt, but I need you to understand, Charlie will never accept that she's good enough for you to stay. Especially if there reason for doubt. And she is right. Sure, you're getting a divorce. But even you have to admit, the two of you don't end there. And breakups are hard as it is. All she'll ever see is everything she wasn't good enough to have, a person Charlie doesn't think she is good enough to be with, and a woman who had everything she wanted. Whether you realize it or not has more control of your relationship with Charlie than Charlie does. Especially at the moment. But even with all that, If you decide to walk away, she's been broken, and angry, but she won’t fight it. Because she would much rather see you content and happy than lose you. Even if that makes her miserable and alone. That's all she ever does for anyone. Because all she fears is that one day I'm not going to be there. Or her mom's not going to be there. Or her family, her friends. You."</p><p>"Or that'll I'll walk away."</p><p>Yes."</p><p>"I get it. And your right. A lot of that I knew and a lot I didn’t, but"</p><p>“She’s stubborn. I know.”</p><p>Jensen paused. Having been quiet through everything Maggie said. Realizing she was right, again. "Can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Why doesn't she play?"</p><p>Maggie smiled to herself. "It's a rarity, but she'll do it. Once in a while, if the mood hits her or she’s drunk enough. She'll sing or play the piano. Sometimes an acoustic guitar. As to why she doesn't… I don't know. Her father's a complicated subject. And I’m sure hes part of it. I think, she knows she would have been good at it. She never wanted it. Never liked the attention. She also doesn't do well to criticism. But I don't know. She's uhh," Maggie chuckles. "She's been surprising me lately.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗 Please &amp; thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. The High Road Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I should add, ‘The Earthly Paradise’ is replacing ‘Destiny’s Child’ in the actual show. Because, well, in my personal opinion, the episode was...ehh CRAP. The details didn't match up to the rest of the show. For instance Anael and Rudy knowing each other... even though the angels never fell until like 5 seasons later and if I'm not wrong Anael fell with them??? ... but then again, I could be wrong.</p><p>I DON'T KNOW.<br/>THIS IS MY FANTASY LOL ❤️<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <span class="u">
      <strong>The CW Casts Charlie Meason in NEW ‘Supernatural’ Guest Star Role (EXCLUSIVE)</strong>
    </span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  
</p><p>By Danielle Turchiano</p><p>UPDATED 3 HOURS AGO</p><p>Charlie Meason, humanitarian and confirmed girlfriend of Jensen Ackles, is set to guest star in the 15<sup>th</sup> and final season of “Supernatural,” Entertainment has learned exclusively.</p><p>Maeson, is set to debut her guest star role as “Lady Monroe” in the later part of the 15<sup>th</sup> and final season of the CW’s hit demon hunting drama. Lady Monroe is described as ‘a well-known, powerful, and efficient, but also very benevolent fairy’. However, Maeson isn’t set to be another pretty face or dainty damsel in distress. After being summoned by the Winchesters to aid in their pursuit against Chuck aka ‘God.’ (Rob Benedict). They seek help from unknown allies. Leading them to find ‘Lady Monroe’ for her guidance and knowledge.’ Her introduction will be in episode 13, “The Earthly Paradise”. Schedule to air March 23<sup>rd</sup>, 2020.</p><p>The episodes name of course being an interpretation to ‘The Earthly Paradise’, an epic poem written in 1688 by William Morris. In this work, Morris uses a famed story concerning a group of medieval wanderers searching for a land of everlasting life thought to be the Garden of Eden, <em>The Terrestrial Paradise</em>.</p><p>What makes it even better is, the ‘Supernatural’ episode will be directed by non-other than Jensen Ackles himself. The now confirmed and steady boyfriend of Charlie Meason, after Ackles announced his slit from Wife Danneel Ackles sometime last year. Ackles will be taking his final turn in the director’s chair this January and promising fans will enjoy the episode.</p><p>Prior to the final season, it had been four years since Jensen directed an episode of ‘<a href="https://ew.com/creative-work/supernatural/"><em>Supernatural</em></a><em>’</em>. But when he, along with his costars Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins, announced season 15 would be the show’s last, Ackles knew he wanted to give the directors chair a few more shots. Putting on his directorial shoes for season 15’s third episode ‘Atomic Monsters’ and thirteenth ‘The Earthly Paradise’.</p><p>And for his final turn in the director’s chair, Ackles is making a pretty-big roar bringing his girlfriend on as a guest role. Especially considering Charlie has no previous experience in acting. However, having some experience in entertainment, being raised by a musician father. The episode is promised to be a bit different than those previously written and directed. “The character being introduced is different than those previously encountered in the show. She’s powerful, both mystically and physically. We wanted to add that little edge, since were at the end. But in terms of her personality… she’s different. We needed a little comedic relief in a sad time. The boys going against God… it’s menacing. Especially knowing the show will be coming to an end. Charlie’s character is a little different. As a fairy, she had to endure a long existence in both worlds, alone. Which makes for an interesting dichotomy to both act and direct. As the director, I had to kind of think of how that personality would be in terms of living centuries in society and another realm. She’s not evil, but she’s also not weak. And when I thought of how to bring that to life, I immediately thought of Charlie. We didn’t want another pencil pusher, or arrogant rebel to help the boys. We wanted to sort of relate to her on some level, and to me… you can’t go wrong with a quirky character. Misha is the prime example of that.” Ackles stated during an interview with Entertainment.</p><p> When asked how Meason handled the role, going from corporate life, to acting in a well-known and well-loved CW production, Ackles was cheerful to report, “She did amazing, as expected. It was a contrast for her, being there. With the script, the pre-production and the stunts. But she was also very open minded to it all. In turn she brought this character to life in a way we hoped. I remember going to Andrew (Dabb, Showrunner), being like, listen, she can do more. Give her more, give the character justice.”</p><p>Not only will Meason be adding to the ranks of guest stars on the show. Some being Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, Danneel Ackles, Paris Hilton, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Timothy Omundson. “When [Jensen] Ackles approached me, I think I was hesitant, but the idea of a collaboration or just anything in the show seemed fun. I guess, kinda falling in line with Misha, using this hype and recognition for good. I thought I could go that route. It was a small part. Nothing too big. But when I read the script, I realized how badass she was. How she played into the context of the show going forward and going back, I kinda couldn’t pass up the opportunity. If I can go and be this kick-ass female in a show primary dominated by kick-ass men. Why not?”</p><p>Maeson joins a list of guest stars for this record season that includes Christian Keyes, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Keith Szarabajka, Yadira Guevara-Prip and Clark Backo, as well as the returns of David Haydn-Jones, Osric Chau, Lorette Devine, Briana Buckmaster, Kathryn Newton, Katherine Ramdeen, Ruth Connell, and Kim Rhodes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooooo, kinda posted this chapter to get a poll. </p><p>I wasn't planning on writing an entire episode of ‘The Earthly Paradise’, but while trying to make everything make sense in the story I created the whole background and details to ‘Monroe’ along with some dialogue for the episode... it kinda just flowed out of me. </p><p>It’s not finished but if you want I can finish it.</p><p>If you guys want me to publish my version of the episode... let me know in the comments! 💞</p><p> </p><p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗 Please &amp; thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Wait For The Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tell me your thoughts on Monroe!</p><p> </p><p>‘The Earthly Paradise’ full Episode script COMING SOON ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the weekend went smoothly, and before she knew it, Charlie was back in Vancouver, back on the Supernatural set. But this time, she wasn't a bystander or the talents girlfriend, who followed him like a lost puppy. This time…she was the talent. <strong><em>Well, a guest star, but still.</em></strong> After spending a week of hard-core training, close-quarters fighting, and jiujitsu lessons, she came back to the Warner Brothers set and was pampered. With a facial, hair trimming, manicure, and moisturizing. Resting in the make-up chair, almost falling asleep.</p><p>“Is this virgin hair?”</p><p>“What’s that? I’m not a…”</p><p>“No,” Lucas, her make-up artist laughs, finding her adorable. “No. Like you’ve never dyed your hair? Never been processed?”</p><p>“Oh, no. Not my thing. Then I’d have to keep up with it. My sister dumped nail polish remover on it when I was a kid. Had some damage for a while, but other than that, no. Kinda more of a natural look lover. Let the greys come.” She giggled.</p><p>“Yeah, I can tell! No damage. So natural, beautiful, and well kept.”</p><p>“Thank you. Yeah, my hair is like a thing with me. I don’t even cut it besides regular trimming. And even then, I’m particular because with my curls…”</p><p>“They cut too much. I can understand that. However, I will say, shoulder length with bangs… girl. You would kill it. You have the forehead. And look at your skin. I don’t even want to put any make-up on it.” Lucas, raved as she turned her around in the chair. Getting a good look at his canvas. “Hmm. So, the dress is green with some embroidered gold, so we're gonna give you a full gold shadow, and powerful liner. Which will pop out your beautiful browns. Add some foundation to balance the lighting, but other than that, girl… you are perfect. I could eat you up.”</p><p>Charlie laughs nervously. “Thank you.”</p><p>"So, we will be going with a somewhat goddess look." Charlie's eyes popped out of her head. "Trust me. You'll be fine. We're gonna add just a little bit of a natural contouring, sort of accentuating your adorable little nose and cheeks. Give you more of a fairy look. Add a little pink gloss to those luscious lips, and you will be good to go.”</p><p>"Do I get a daily affirmation with you every day? I’m lovin’ the compliments.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. "I tell beauty like it is. And you, my dear, are beautiful."</p><p>“Well, aren’t you just a confidence boost.”</p><p>An hour later, Charlie walks out of the wardrobe, wearing an elegant, and ‘fairy’ looking Sage Green Princess long sleeve, backless, floor-length dress. The bottom material was satin, which was supposed to play as silk. Covered in lace with tulle flowers all along the low neck line. With intricate gold and green embroidery.</p><p>She walked out, literally feeling like a fairy. Her hair was half up, half down. With gold weavings twisted into the top part, adding to the overall effect.</p><p>"God. I feel like all I need are elf ears, and I'm in Rivendell."</p><p>"Yeah, I don't know what that is, but you look so awesome.”</p><p>Charlie looks at herself in the mirror. “It’s the elf land in Lord of the Rings.”</p><p>"Why do I feel like you were the perfect person for this role."</p><p>"Don't tell Jensen that he'll take it to the head."</p><p>"Well, he was a genius for this."</p><p>"I haven't done the on-screen acting yet. The jury is still out on that.”</p><p>Another fifteen minutes later, Charlie was ushered onto the set. Received with a round of applause and clapping from everyone as she went. No doubt Jared's and/or Jensen’s doing to make her feel super awkward but mainly supported as part of the gang. She was finally on the set as Monroe.</p><p>“Okay. Okay.” She threw her hands in the air. Spinning in a circle for all to see, then waving at everyone. Walking past them all with a smile and doing it effortlessly even though she had four-inch heels on. "Get it out while you can, guys. This isn't another Misha moment,” she said, smacking her heels against the pavement, walking directly to a laughing Jared. “You!” She points at him, and he retreats, laughing his Jared laugh. "Don't make me tell your wife why there's a four-inch heel in your foot and why your limping," she joked.</p><p>“Just for scheduling reasons… please don’t. Not again,” Bob adds a few feet away. Smiling wide at Charlie.</p><p>She laughs and see’s Misha next to him, looking at her. Chuckling and shaking his head at Jared’s antics. Finding Charlie's feistiness funny, knowing she will not handle Jared's pranks. She felt a little shy seeing him see her, but he smiled at Charlie, giving her a nod, and looking over to Jensen. Charlie’s eyes followed, finally seeing him.</p><p>On the other side, near the camera, stood Jensen. Standing right next to the camera that was being set up. When she looked over, he was already watching, and he was lost on her, mesmerized. His face completely serious, then formed into a smile as he stood in his classic Dean Winchester flannel and jeans. Both, looking at each other and knowing exactly what the other was thinking.</p><p>He walked over to her, "Well, hello there <em>my lady</em>."</p><p>"Hi," Charlie lets out, feeling shy AGAIN. "I am at your command, my liege,” she adds with a curtsy.</p><p>He smiles and looks around. Seeing no one was watching and gives her a sweet kiss. "It's a quick scene. You don't have to be in it for long.  Come on, let me show you how everything works."</p><p>Jensen walked Charlie into the Men of Letter bunker as she looks around, again feeling different being there. He shows her where to stand and how the angles worked. As well as how they had to film a single scene in multiple angles. What everyone around them will be doing, and what to do once the camera starts to roll. He gave her pointers on where to look, where not to look, and how to handle them when they get into their laughing fits, because it was going to come.</p><p>“My advice would be to ignore me.” Charlie looked at him strange, “I know. But… I’m gonna throw you off. Focus on something that will not break your concentration.”<br/>
“Okay. I guess.”</p><p>"We're gonna do your dress scene, add the CGI later to snap you to normal clothes. Then a wardrobe change, then move into the next scene. Okay, you ready? You good? You need more time? More instruction. Yay? Nay?"</p><p>She chuckles. "No. No. I am fine. I'm good."</p><p>"Alright. I know you’re going to be doing some trial and error, since this is your first time. That’s fine. Don’t feel like you need to get it right, right away, or you’ll sike yourself out. Okay?” Charlie nods. “Okay. Here we go." He turns his head and flags Bob down. They have a conversation for a second while Charlie calms herself. She walks over to Jared and Misha, getting their input as well, until she heard Jensen yell, "Places! Let’s get quiet on set!"</p><p> </p><p>-FIVE HOURS LATER-</p><p> </p><p>"CUT!” Bob yells.</p><p>“You okay there, Charlie?" Jensen asked. Then looked over at Bob as he was being stand-in director while Jensen stayed in the scene.</p><p>Charlie stands on the far end of the bunker, in front of Jensen, Jared, Misha, and Alex, pressing her mouth together… trying to stay serious, not wanting to lose her focus, but she was too far gone.</p><p>“Damn it!” she says, going into another laughing fit. Curling over and tying to breathe. “I can’t do this.” Laughing some more. “Oh, my god, I’m gonna have an eight pack by the end of these two weeks.” Everyone on the set begins to laugh with her.</p><p>“You were supposed to be on my side, Charlie. Not there’s!” Misha yells over at her, but Charlie just laughs.</p><p>"I know. But Mish, you just get so flustered." Jared and Jensen laugh, agreeing with her. She saw his reaction. Looking like she was betraying him, but also just playing with her. She straightened her composure and turn it off. Just like that. <strong><em>Right. Serious, Charlie! Gotta stand tall with Misha…</em></strong>"Right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you are right. Can we start again?" She says, making a straight face, still trying not to laugh, and getting back into character. Letting out a few breaths and nodding at Jensen, giving him an okay.</p><p>“Okay,” Bob responds, getting a nod from Jensen. “QUIET ON SET! ROLL CAMERA! –MARKER! -- ACTION!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>INT. MEN OF LETTERS – LIBRARY – (DAY 1)</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Jack stand around the map table in the Men of Letters bunker. All four facing Monroe as she stands alone in the for-front of the scene.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>So, what you’re saying is-- If there’s anyone that</p><p>should have a grudge and reason for God off the board,</p><p> it's fairies. Or… goblins. Little -glowing- psycho</p><p> fairies. Whatever.</p><p> <strong>MONROE</strong></p><p>When will you realize that's what he wants?</p><p>To feel (she scoffs) so important entire civilizations</p><p>will kill in his name. Assimilate or annihilate.</p><p>Isn’t that the golden rule?</p><p>(then)</p><p>I said it before Dean. Our benevolence</p><p>isn't because we are weak… we are far more powerful</p><p>than you can ever imagine. So much so God has</p><p>very little power in our realm. We've made sure of it.</p><p>But --(pauses)</p><p>We do not believe our power makes us superior…</p><p>We do not want humans falling at our feet, as he does.</p><p>Our mission is to foster civilization if anything.</p><p>To be guardians of life.</p><p>That is what our people have done for humankind and</p><p> what we will continue to do.</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>So, does this mean you guys are in?</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(ponders)</p><p>You know, humans, are capable of far more</p><p>than you even know. I’ve noticed more recently</p><p>people are becoming more enlighten…</p><p>…but <span class="u">God</span>-- <span class="u">Chuck</span>, he limits you.</p><p>Because if you lived up to your full potentials,</p><p>you would realize you didn’t need him.</p><p>Just as we fairy folk did.</p><p>At least, if you worked together.</p><p>But humans—(pause)</p><p>--you're petty, angry, emotionally driven</p><p>beings who use the excuse of survival to justify your greed.</p><p>With this need for immediate gratification. You pray to</p><p>a God who lets you suffer. Makes you, or lets you</p><p>kill and hate in his name.</p><p>(Monroe looks at the four men, then walks over to Jack. She looks him up and down… assessing him. Slowly forming her face into a smile. She cradles his cheek, almost getting a feeling of his aura. Castiel is the first to get closer, expecting something and pulling out his angel blade. Sam and Dean pull their guns out, pointing them at her. She ignored them. Not fearing a thing. Closing her eyes to the feeling of Jack’s warmth and positivity. But also reading his energy. Reading all the pain, death, and chaos. Everything his physical body has endured up until that moment. Everything that resonates inside of him, his DNA, and his cells. Feeling the whole where his soul should be. Along with his untapped power and potential. The boys look at each other than lower their weapons, finding her not to be a threat.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(compassionately)</p><p>So much loss in so little time.</p><p>(She hovers a hand over his heart. Looking Jack in the eyes, communicating something that only Jack could hear.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE (V.O)</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Iyo ether inoguma uye inotanga</em>
</p><p>
  <em>mumweya wemhirizhonga.</em>
</p><p>(Monroe turns around. Looking back at Dean who stares. <em>Are you going to answer me?</em>)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>If you’re asking us to take on God, <span class="u">no.</span></p><p>I cannot put that kind of curse on my people.</p><p>I, however, will help you find the occultum if that’s what you need.</p><p>Your spell… it binds me to earth until released.</p><p>(then)</p><p>It binds me to you. So-- I will help.</p><p>I can only assume the hybrid is to be protected?”</p><p>
  <strong>SAM</strong>
</p><p>Hybrid? You mean, Jack.</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>He is an angel and a human. Is he not?</p><p>But his power… his--energy –aura--</p><p>he’s not a normal Nephilim…</p><p>
  <strong>SAM</strong>
</p><p>Jack… (hesitates.)</p><p>Jack is the son of Lucifer and a human -- Kelly Kline.</p><p>(Monroe looked intently at Jack. Giving him another smile. Finally, letting the knowledge of what she learned settle in.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Well, aren’t you just poetic irony in a cute little wrapping?</p><p> </p><p>(Jack smiles innocently at her.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>I’ve met my share of Nephilim’s over the ages… there are even</p><p>a select few that have sought sanctuary in Avalon.</p><p> </p><p>(CASTIEL looks profoundly at her. Monroe saw him.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>There was a time when Nephilim were born by the dozen.</p><p>Before, of course, they were forbidden…</p><p>
  
</p><p>(Sam and Dean look at each other. This information being new to them, as well as Castiel.)</p><p>
  <strong>CASTIEL</strong>
</p><p>Nephilim were always forbidden.</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(Gives Castiel a questioning smile.)</p><p>Were they? Hmm. How does it go…</p><p>(Walks around the table as she speaks.)</p><p>
  <em>‘And the Nephilim were on the earth in those days,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and afterward when the sons of God saw that the daughters</em>
</p><p>
  <em>of man were attractive. The sons of God came into the daughters of man</em>
</p><p>
  <em>, and they bore children to them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Lord saw that the wickedness of</em>
</p><p>
  <em>these men was great in the earth…So the Lord said,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I will blot out man whom I have created</em>
</p><p>
  <em>from the face of the land, creeping things and birds of the heavens,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>for I am sorry that I have made them.” Book of Genesis.’</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>CASTIEL</strong>
</p><p>No.</p><p> <strong>MONROE</strong></p><p>(Chuckles and raises an eyebrow at him.)</p><p>Are you telling me I am wrong, angel?</p><p>Or are you just another victim of propaganda?</p><p>What about you? Defying was forbidden…</p><p>and yet you managed that, didn't you?</p><p>Aiding in the apocalypse.</p><p>What? Like… nine, ten times now.</p><p>One would say, bringing us to this very moment.</p><p>However, had you not rebelled --</p><p>Sam ad Dean never would have succeeded…</p><p>And your precious God would have never returned</p><p> from his cowardice slumber.</p><p>You think you're the only angel in all the years this</p><p>universe has existed that rebelled?</p><p>The only angel that fell for humanity?</p><p> To question the bureaucracy?</p><p>It’s nature, the natural directive, to question authority</p><p> for the purpose of survival and to preserve one’s own moral fibers.</p><p> However, it is the choice of</p><p>the chosen, that choose to abide.</p><p>When God saw that things were being created.</p><p>Creatures more powerful than the meek little</p><p>angels he wanted. The angels he could control…</p><p>Seeing that the offspring of these angels were being seen</p><p>as gods to the people. That they were worshipped.</p><p>He had … what is it you humans call it—</p><p>Oh, a temper tantrum.</p><p>(Castiel began to think about what she was saying. Feeling inclined to agree with her, but knowing it was against what he already knew.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Sure, you angels have been around since the beginning of man,</p><p>but so were we fairies. And more specifically, me.</p><p>From what I understand, God flooded the</p><p>earth because of the corruption of man.</p><p>
  <strong>SAM</strong>
</p><p>Wait, so… you’re saying the flood.</p><p>The arc and animals… were because Nephilim’s</p><p> were brought into existence.</p><p>(Sam sat back, thinking.)</p><p> <strong>MONROE</strong></p><p>Yes. That is why they became forbidden.</p><p>From that point on they were labeled evil incarnates.</p><p>But, really, it was just PR.</p><p>The entire earth became corrupt in the</p><p>eyes of your God, to the point where he destroyed</p><p> it with the flood.</p><p>I mean, I am all for being enlightened.</p><p>But if I’m not mistaken, there has never been a</p><p>clear reason for him to have flooded the earth…</p><p>nothing other than angelic interactions with humanity.</p><p>Something he didn’t want… because he knew he would lose</p><p> the control he had on these web of worlds.</p><p>With Nephilim being born to a human…</p><p>angels were living proof of divinity.</p><p>(Monroe finally takes a seat in a chair. She sits on the end of the map table, looking around at the bunker.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>And then daddy banished you all.</p><p>Forcing all angels to heaven. Making you, these</p><p>powerful creatures, capable of healing and growth of</p><p>making this world far better than he left it… No.</p><p>He banned you from the earth. Only coming down</p><p>for a plague or mass killing here or there. He let his</p><p>creations destroy this world in his name…</p><p>to feel important. Eventually, fleeing himself</p><p>once he realized what he created. Once he realized</p><p>that evolution and biology can’t be controlled.</p><p>That there are forces and things in this universe</p><p>far more complex than those he created.</p><p>Because no matter what—</p><p> the world just kept tick-tick-ticking.</p><p>And if that world didn't do it right on the first go, then what's</p><p> the harm in another. And another and another…</p><p>I do have to say though--</p><p>(Looks over at the boys again, smiling wide.)<br/>
-- you three are adorable little trouble makers.</p><p>(Everyone looks at her. Their faces unreadable.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>I've walked this earth for a long time.</p><p>And well...It gets boring. People have become,</p><p>hmmm, predictable.</p><p>But you three... never a dull moment.</p><p>However, the Nephilim –-</p><p>(pause)</p><p>-- you’re new.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“AND, CUT!”</p><p>Charlie's entire body relaxed when she heard the words. Jensen gets up, walking over to the camera set up, and Charlie follows, taking a look at the shot.</p><p>Jensen smiling at the take. “Maybe another go!” Jensen said. “Another go, guys!”</p><p>He turns to Charlie, walking back onto the set with her. “You did good. It's not you. Just need to hone down on everyone else. You were good on your cues. We’re gonna go again, this time. Do it exactly like that, but just loosen up.  You’re doing good. Don’t stress it.”</p><p>"Loosen up?” She laughed. “You try doing this wearing a little mermaid dress,”</p><p>“You look sexy.”</p><p>“Oh, no, Mr. Director, you look shmexy.” She gives him a wink.</p><p>Jensen shook his head, kissing her, and gets ready for the next take.</p><p>The rest of the day, they worked on the Men of Letter’s set. Completing a couple of scenes with Charlie in the bunker until she headed off to training again. This time, with Jensen, Misha, and Jared. The three were practicing an intense scene, where all three have to fight off malevolent fairies and demons alike. The scene was one of Charlie's favorites.</p><p>The following day they completed a few scenes in a make shift cave. Which was on location, and made to look, creepy, dramatic, and awesome.</p><p> </p><p>INT. DOZEMARY POOL-UNITED KINGDOM-DAY 2</p><p>As Sam, Dean, and Castiel go off to follow a lead on the occultum in Dozemary Pool. The last known whereabouts of Morgan Le Fay. Monroe warned of the dangers. Stating there were possible chances that malevolent fairies, demons, or creatures unknown, could be guarding the vault. However, Sam and Dean, mostly Dean, was hesitant about inviting a powerful fairy on a trip with more powerful fairies. Still unsure of Monroe's intent. So, she teleported them to Dozemary Pool and told them to call her name if needed. She was just a call away. Leaving Monroe chained down in the kitchen with Jack until she heard Dean call her name in distress. She immediately teleports to them. Thereby showing Jack their silver cuffs did nothing to hold her. Proving she wasn’t evil. She finds Castiel fighting off a hand full of demons. Sam was nowhere to be found, and Dean was being held to the ground by two demons as well.</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>(struggling)</p><p>Save Sam!</p><p>(Dean yells as he sees her finally standing there. He looks at the water. Monroe looks down. Seeing Sam, fighting off Water Sprites that were pulling him deeper under water then loses consciousness. She dives in, getting touched by them as well, feeling them shock her. She overcomes it, saving Sam and pulling him above water and back on solid ground again. Sam lays lifeless as Monroe lays breathless beside him, feeling the shocks. She moved to look at Sam, pressing a hand over his heart. Dean and Cas become distracted from their attacks. Both get hit really bad, looking over and seeing Sam.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>(Panics. Looking wide eyes at Monroe.)</p><p>Is he dead?!</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(Rises up from the floor.)</p><p>No. The sprite drained his energy.</p><p>Give him a couple minutes. He'll be fine.</p><p>(Monroe stands between him and the water, making sure nothing else touches him, letting Sam catch his bearings. Dean, for a second, questioned if he should believe her, but he settled with he could. On cue, Sam came too, coughing up water and rolling over. For the most part, the demons cannot see him, as he was being protected my Monroe.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Great. Now a little help here!</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you didn’t need my help.</p><p>Big and broad (she raises an eyebrow) manly man such as yourself.</p><p>The two of you can kill these demons, no problem.</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Aahh!</p><p>They’re kinda kicking our asses. Is it me, or</p><p>are they more powerful then most demons?!</p><p>(Dean yells as he stabs the demon blade in one, killing it. But being thrown against the wall by another. The demons over to him, picking him up by the throat.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(Faux-enthusiastically)</p><p>You are doing just amazing, Dean!</p><p>‘A’ for effort—</p><p> (under her breath)</p><p>--or asphyxia. One of the two.</p><p>I totally believe in you!</p><p>(Monroe looks down at Sam who was shacking it all off, then looks over to Castiel, who is battling three demons as well.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Why aren’t they attacking you!?</p><p>
  <strong>CASTIEL</strong>
</p><p>Because they can’t see her!</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Monroe!</p><p>(Dean finally yells being strangled.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>I would totally love to help, Deano, but --</p><p> (Makes an anxious face, showing her teeth.)</p><p>Yeah, see. I can only do harm to another creature</p><p> if said creature imposes a clear and immediate threat</p><p> to myself or Avalon. Or…in your case,</p><p>I am compelled under the authority</p><p>of the soul or souls who summoned me.</p><p> If it makes you</p><p>feel better… you guys‘Ill be fine.</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Doesn’t feel like!</p><p>(Monroe looks over to Sam and nods for him to go to the vault as soon as possible. He runs. A demon gets up from his assault and gives Dean another hard hit. Monroe’s face squints and reacts, knowing the blow was going to hurt and leave a mark.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Ouch.</p><p>(Both Castiel and Dean get a couple hard hits.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>I would zap us back to the bunker, but --</p><p>-- what you’re searching for is right behind that door</p><p>over there. And Sammy is pretty darn close, so…</p><p>(In the background you see Sam getting the spell together, to open the vault. Monroe looks at him, waiting.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>What?!</p><p>
  <strong>CASTIEL</strong>
</p><p>You have to command her!</p><p>You and Sam summoned her,</p><p>she’s bound and compelled to follow</p><p><span class="u">your</span> command.</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>See! The adorable angel even gets it.</p><p>Didn’t need the added summary, but… <span class="u">what he said.</span></p><p>(Monroe says, chipper. Smiling and, again, waiting for his command.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>Then kill them!</p><p>(Dean yells, being tossed across the cave. Falling to the floor. Feeling the blow and spitting out blood.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Got it.</p><p>(Monroe whistles and the demons finally see her.</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Hiya, boys. I’m feeling a bit left out.</p><p>(In a dainty demeanor)</p><p>No one’s paying attention to me.</p><p>(All the demons look at her instantly. Seeing a fairy and being temporarily distracted until Monroe snaps her fingers, and within a split second, they were all gone. Dean looks strongly at her, surprised she just vaporized the demons like nothing.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>What?</p><p>I'm not fighting them in these heels.</p><p>(Dean rolls his eyes. He bends down and picks up his gun and demon blade. Walking past Monroe toward the door.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Um, you’re welcome!</p><p>(Monroe almost appalled he wouldn’t say thank you, but shrugs being not at all surprised. Castiel walks past her, giving her an awkward nod as a thank you.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Right. Well, okay. Have fun.</p><p>(Monroe teleports away off screen, and Dean turns around to find her gone.)</p><p>
  <strong>DEAN</strong>
</p><p>What?!</p><p>We need you.</p><p>At this rate, we're not getting to that</p><p>sword without your help.</p><p>Monroe!</p><p>(Nicer)<br/>
Roe.</p><p>(Dean and Castiel look around, seeing she was gone. Dean throws his arms up, put off. When he goes to walk back towards the vault, he sees her teleport in again. Stopping in his tracks, almost walking into her as she walks toward Sam.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>(With her back to him.)</p><p>One, make up your mind --</p><p>I’m getting whiplash.</p><p>And two, this vault is specifically warded against</p><p>a fairy. Hint, why they have demons guarding it.</p><p>
  <strong>CASTIEL</strong>
</p><p>So, you can’t enter?</p><p> <strong>MONROE</strong></p><p>(Looks apprehensive)</p><p>I can… but the runes will suppress and weaken</p><p> my power significantly. I cannot protect you.</p><p>They are designed to siphon whatever primordial</p><p>energy is being used.</p><p>
  <strong>SAM</strong>
</p><p>So, siphoning away your powers?</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Temporarily weaken me. Yes.</p><p>(Monroe says, waving her hand over the arch of the door that leads to the vault, making runes appear on the rock formation. Monroe completes an enchantment. She gives Sam the nod to complete the spell. He throws in the final ingredient. Monroe speaking slowly as sparks fly out of the bowl and into the key hold of the door. Making lines appear, as they slowly move up. Making unlocking noises as they go. Within seconds, the door unlocks. All three boys look at each other then back at the dark abyss they were supposed to walk through. The boys are blinded by a flash of fire and find Monroe with a torch in her hand. Allowing it to illuminate their entrance. The camera doesn’t see what they see. Only showing all their reactions.)</p><p>
  <strong>MONROE</strong>
</p><p>Well boy’s-- welcome to hollow earth.</p><p> </p><p>“And CUT!" Bob yells.</p><p>Just like the other seven takes, Charlie and Jensen walk over, checking out the take.</p><p>“Nice adlib,” Jensen says to Charlie. “I’m not fighting in these heels?”</p><p>"It kinda just came out.” She laughed.</p><p>"It was funny. Do it again on this take."</p><p>"Okay," Charlie beamed, loving when he complimented her.</p><p>She thought it would be a weird dynamic having Jensen try to direct her. Especially with having no experience. But it worked well. There were times she messed up and he gave her better direction. For the most part, he didn’t tell her how execute the lines, but more how to move around while the camera was on her, or where to look.</p><p>They did the scene a few more times, Charlie adding her little touch to Monroe. Really just being the sassy self that she always wanted to be but was never confident enough to be. Falling into the character by recognizing the small characteristic they both have. Such as Charlie's knack for talking to herself out loud when she’s thinking things through or being a smart ass just to be a smart ass. But the thing that was fun about Monroe was, she wasn't an antiquated fairy. Some overly sweet and sugary Tink. She was very aware of pop culture. She read all the books, watched all the movies, and studies all the subjects, trying to be more engrossed in the human experience… much like Charlie. Charlie felt like the more and more she did the character, she wasn't sure if it was the character bringing her to life or if she was the actress bringing the character to life.</p><p>Later that day, Charlie had a one-on-one scene with Rowena. Which made her day even better. She loved Ruth, and she loved how sweet, adorable little Ruth could play such a ruthless, cunning, and powerful witch to perfection. She couldn't help but find herself getting loose in her lines every time Ruth executed them. Jensen, having to get Charlie back on track with each take.</p><p>After a few takes, she managed to find her feet. Not wanting to fall short in comparison to Rowena. Charlie felt she did her best.</p><p>As days went on and filming got done, Charlie became very sad. It was almost over. As much as she was out of her element, she was loving it. Having finally thrown herself into it all, she wasn’t scared anymore. She invited it all. And as her second week of filming came underway, she was sad to have to say goodbye to her character.</p><p>Over those weeks, Charlie sensed a change in Jensen. It was neither good nor bad, but she noticed he was just being… overly affectionate, extra. Not that she was complaining. She actually loved it, but he was off. He was always asking how she was, what she wanted to do about her life going forward. Making long term plans. She noticed it the entire time she was filming but said nothing. Thinking it had to do with her filming, or meeting his parents, getting more serious, and moving in together. But she could sense something, she just couldn't put her finger on it.</p><p>When she reached out to Jared and Misha. Making casual conversation, trying to beat around the bush on things she thought it could be. Trying to do it on the sligh so they didn’t get their suspicions, but she got nothing. She finally settled with it being the moving in together, working together, and nothing more.</p><p>The night she was scheduled to complete her final day of filming and head to California for the festival, Jensen unintentionally spilled the beans. Clearly hesitant to talk to her about it. Mainly because he was trying to figure out how to while also not upsetting her. Knowing Charlie would do what Charlie always did, deflect, deny, and ignore. Giving Charlie a really good and happy moment, that was almost ruined minutes later after he told her.</p><p>After Charlie came home from filming, waiting for Jensen to get home from his director's stuff to say bye before hopping on a plane, she walked into the apartment with a gasp. Finding a gorgeous display of green roses. At least a hundred in all different shades of green. <strong><em>Oh, my god. I don’t think I’ve ever seen green roses before. </em></strong>In the middle of the display of roses laid two things. One was a manilla envelope, thick and stiff looking and a smaller envelope.</p><p>When Charlie saw the display, she was completely taken back. It was beautiful and elegant. Earthy but simple. Thoughtful and tear-jerking. She was in tears as she dropped her purse and everything to the floor, walking over to it. Smiling like a fool and excited to open them, until she read the note.</p><p> </p><p>         DO NOT OPEN TILL I GET HOME.</p><p> </p><p>“Meh. Boo,” Charlie muttered to herself, excited to know.</p><p>She looked at her phone, seeing he would be home in about an hour. She showered. Got ready, and tried to distract herself, but kept looking over, seeing the display, getting impatient. When Jensen finally got home, Charlie ran to him. Pressing kisses all over his face and neck. Being extra intentionally. He chuckled as he embraced her, loving her enthusiasm.</p><p>“I kinda thought you were going to open them. I’m happy you didn’t.”</p><p>"I was trying to be a good girl." She shyly admits, pressing her ear against his heart. Hugging him tight. "Thank you. I was kinda down about filming ending, and this made my day."</p><p>Jensen rubbed his hands against her arms and back, soothing her. "I know you were. I was hoping it would. I'm glad."</p><p>"What’s all this for?”</p><p>"Can't I celebrate the small things?"</p><p>"Charlie chuckled. "Yeeees. Can I open them now? I have to leave soon," she asked excitedly again.</p><p>Jensen nods, taking her hand and walking over to them. Sitting on the couch as Charlie grabbed the little card that went with the roses that read…</p><p> </p><p>To fairytales.</p><p> </p><p>Love always, J.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to celebrate this time in your life."</p><p>Charlie didn't know what to say, she loved it, but she was blown away. "Thank you… I don’t deserve this.”</p><p>Jensen ignored her and just smiled. "Keep going."</p><p>Charlie goes to grab the giant envelope, but Jensen stops her, “Last.” She nods and grabs the small envelope, opening it. Reading the inscription, thinking it was going to be another hallmark, but it wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>To my Calliope,</p><p>Thank you for being my rock. My best friend. Thank you for your patience, your heart, and your love. And always knowing how to make me smile.</p><p>Congratulations on the show, baby.</p><p>I love you.</p><p> </p><p>J.</p><p> </p><p>Attached to the card was a printed email and a pamphlet. She read over the email, then looked at the pamphlet and her eyes popped out of her head. “You’re moving? We’re moving? What?” She looked upset.</p><p>Without answering, Jensen grabs the giant envelope and hands it to Charlie. She looks at him for a second, then opens it and pulls out the contents. Reading them…</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>SUPERIOR COURT IN THE STATE OF TEXAS</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>COUNTY OF TRAVIS</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>FINAL JUDGEMENT AND DECREE OF DIVORCE</p><p>INCORPORATING SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT</p><p> </p><p>_<span class="u">X</span>_ DISSOLUTION           ____ LEGAL SEPARATION          ____ NULLITY</p><p>
  <em>DATE MARITAL OR DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP ENDS: 1/21/2020</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Wait…" Charlie says as she reads over the words a few times. Her heart begins to race. She looks at Jensen as her face slowly forms into a smile and looks back at the packet of papers, reading again. “So… like-”</p><p>"As of three days ago, I am officially divorced. Yes."</p><p>Charlie's entire face brightens, and she could feel her stomach fill with butterflies. “REALLY?!” She yells, surprised.</p><p>Jensen chuckles. “Yes, babe. It’s over.”</p><p>She threw herself at him, climbing on top of his lap, kissing him. Squealing with excitement, that the very moment she had been waiting for since the first time they were ever together was finally done. He and Danneel were divorced. She didn't have to worry about a wife coming and ruining her happiness. Or whatever anxieties there were. Or feeling like he wasn’t hers… even though she was his. It was over.</p><p>“Ahhhh!” She screams, looking at the paper again. “When? What?!”</p><p>"I kept it a secret, mostly ‘cause I wanted to surprise you until the papers came. The timing is a bit weird, but…” <strong><em>Yeah. He gets officially, legally divorced on their five-month anniversary. </em></strong>“We signed the papers that weekend we were in Austin, and I met with Danneel. And you got jealous.” He laughs, remembering.</p><p>“I fucking knew it! You jerk!” She smiles. Resting her head on his shoulder.</p><p>Remembering that night… Jensen was gone <em>all day</em> as Charlie spent time with JJ at the house. When he got home, really late that night, she was moody, causing an argument. Their first real argument. Which, in turn led to amazing, hot, and angry sex. Thereby nullifying the whole argument all together.</p><p><strong><em>Yeah, I need to make him angry more often. </em></strong>She let out a huge, weighted sigh. Feeling so relaxed she could sleep.</p><p>“I’m yours, Charlie. No more of this shit with Danneel or you trying to find your place in all this.”<br/>
“Shit?”<br/>
“I just mean, stop trying to compare yourself to her. You are you. I fell in love with you. This is me and you. To me I couldn’t understand because their isn’t a comparison. I will never walk away, Charlie. Never. I know my divorce was a huge obstacle. Something that troubled you, and it took me a while to see why, I guess. Something that was holding us back. This is my way of trying to move in a new direction.”</p><p>"The email…"</p><p>"To my realtor, yes. I know you’re buying a house eventually. Once Paradise Valley sells. And I know you just moved in. I’m not saying let’s go take out a mortgage. I know we’re not there yet. It can be in your name of mine. Doesn’t even have to be now. I just know, the place we call home was just a house I chose because it was ten minutes from my daughter. Nothing held me there but JJ. And after you moving in, moving your life to Texas, leaving Washington, leaving MAP, sacrificing your privacy and sanity… I realize I haven’t sacrificed shit.”</p><p>Charlie never thought about it like that. Her face fell, looking tender. “Jay, I don’t-“</p><p>“I want something that is us. Whatever you want. I'll make it work. For you.”<br/>
“No. I like Texas. It’s… homey.” She smiled.<br/>
Jensen had to admit it was relieving to hear that. “Things are changing for me soon and I want you there. I love you. I love being with you wherever you are. But you’re right. I’m tired of building a new life with an old foundation.”</p><p>"Right about?”</p><p>"Danneel. Her place in our lives. Our relationship. The control she had over us. Me. Had I fought her about everything like I was, we would have been doing to this dance forever. Don’t get me wrong, we were… more civil, but… she was the one that cheated on me. I wasn’t going to give her everything. But I let that go. I walked into my lawyer’s office that day and said, give her everything. I just want to be done."</p><p>"Jensen."</p><p>"I don't care, Charlie. It was never the money. Or the house or the companies, properties, and investments… or whatever else. It was the principle. And I understand why she wanted it, and I was working with her. But at some point… I had to realize where I'm wrong. I held up my divorce, not intentionally in that way, but still. Just because I didn't want to give her the upper hand. And I thought I was right, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t respect, It was spite. So that day, yes, we talked shit over like I said. Deciding to take the lawyer away and just be Danneel and Jensen. We agreed on a lot, and I’ll get into all that. All of which I told you, but just not in depth. It was just, when Maggie kind of put into perspective for me… I kinda saw my wrong.”</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Jensen realized his mistake. "Nothing. I just… me and Maggie talked. And… I don't know. I kinda needed to take a long hard look at myself. I've been so focused on not losing the people I love. Or having control… I wasn't comprehending that that need for control was doing the very thing I didn’t want.”</p><p>“When did you talk to Maggie?”</p><p>"A few weeks ago."</p><p>Charlie immediately registered it. Jensen’s weird behaviors she had been noticing. "About me?"</p><p>"No. Us. Well, you and us."</p><p>"You talked to Maggie about us… and that made you, what? Come to your senses?” Charlie asked, suddenly feeling annoyed.</p><p>"I guess. I mean, no. I'm just…."</p><p>"What did she say?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm just curious what she said that managed to somehow change everything."</p><p>Jensen could see Charlie was upset. He didn't mean to mention his conversation with Maggie, but he also didn't know how to talk about the things he needed to talk about without Charlie shutting him out. Which he knew would inevitably come.</p><p>He sighed. “Charlie. It wasn’t like that. I…I called her about the festival, and… we spoke."</p><p>"You called her?"</p><p>"Yes. I…," Jensen sighed again. "I needed her help on something, and…"</p><p>"What did she say?"</p><p>"Nothing I didn't already know."</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>Charlie didn’t want to argue, but she didn’t like finding out Maggie and Jensen spoke about important ‘relationship shit’ without her knowing. She felt like she was being unfair, but at the same time, when she spoke to Misha or Jared, she had the courtesy of telling him. Reluctantly, but telling him. She didn’t like the idea of being a reason to have them pinned against each other. Or like she was going behind his back. She knew Jensen and Maggie spoke. That didn’t bother her. But she hoped their conversations were something along the lines of their lives, photography stuff. Maybe falling on each other when she was being extra. But to the core, mainly what bothered her was the fact that she spent months trying to have him listen to her. Trying to express her feelings about Danneel without being that girlfriend, and one conversation with Maggie shifts him into gear. <strong><em>Which, again, fine, whatever. But what the fuck did they talk about that made it so enlightening?</em></strong></p><p>Charlie took a breather. She didn’t want to be upset. He just did all this for her. She didn’t want to be ungrateful. But, she couldn’t help but feel like everything she noticed over those past few weeks was forced… And even though she knew Jensen didn’t mean it like that, and his intentions were good, and this was his way of trying, she couldn’t help but think it.</p><p>“Thank you. The roses are beautiful. Everything is…” She looked down at the card and email, then over to the roses. Smiling, but It didn’t touch her eyes. “it’s beautiful and amazing.” She added as her eyes begin to water. She tries to hold back her tears. “I, uh. I gotta get ready for my red eye. Cliff should be here soon."</p><p>Jensen knew she was making an excuse to avoid whatever she was feeling. Everything. But he didn't fight it. Not before the festival. She didn’t need that on her mind. "You're welcome."</p><p>"I love you. You are amazing, as always." She muttered, giving him a quick kiss, and standing up.</p><p>“I love you too.” He smiled back. Just before Charlie was out of reach, he grabbed her hands, “Hey…I’ll drive with you to the airport. See you off.”</p><p>"Okay. Thank you," was all Charlie said before walking off into the bedroom and getting her stuff together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop a kudos or comment if you like the story! 💗 Please &amp; thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>